That which we make for ourselves | By : magentasouth Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Tom Views: 38078 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 2 |
Disclaimer: I neither own nor profit from any part of the Harry Potter universe |
Tom
limped slowly across the wet stone floor of the chamber of secrets toward the
huge stone head of Salazar Slytherin.
His body was starting to ache again.
The trek up to the castle from the forbidden forest and down to the
Chamber had not been particularly kind to his sore body. He was looking forward to bathing and pulling
his little ‘husband’ into bed for
some needed rest.
He hissed the stone steps up from the black ‘moat’ and was about to call the
door open when it opened by itself.
He
blinked. Had Caed
braved Seshastra after all in order to open the door
for him? Had he sensed his
approach?!
It made no sense and then there was even less
sense in his world because he found himself looking at his own doppelganger,
who looked equally shocked.
“Caed?!” he asked, confused.
Was the boy polyjuiced? Why? And how? There was no
polyjuice down here... how was this..
“No.” the
double said, sounding alarmed. “I just
returned to find him gone. Seshastra is gone too.”
He shook
his head. The obvious answer to who this
was, was simply impossible.
But how else would whoever this was have gotten down here. He had had to speak parseltongue to open the
hidden chamber door. If it truly was not
Caed then it could only be..
“How is
it that you are here.. in the
flesh...”
The other
version of him rolled his eyes and stepped quickly across the stones toward
him. “We can discuss this when Caedmon
is found and safe down here again. I can
feel him. He is on the first floor. He is wandless.” The horcrux removed Caed’s
wand from his pocket, displaying it.
“I should not have left him alone for a moment.
He is an impulsive little twit – that was obvious last night. I merely wanted to see Abraxas and the others
briefly.. It has been so long..
“
Tom
experienced a flare of fury at this interloper who was apparently responsible
for his Caed
wandering around the castle unarmed when Dumbledore was itching to get his
hands on him.
He snatched Caed’s wand out of
..well out of his own hand
essentially. The other him had the decency to look repentant although he knew
himself well enough to recognise the simulated expression.
No doubt if the same thing had happened to him, he would be irritated at Caed for daring to embark independently upon such a daft
endeavour. Whether or not this version of him had done so, HE had told Caed
to remain in the chamber in his absence.
“YOU will
remain here.” he hissed at him
furiously and turned, trying to stalk out angrily and only managing a haughty
limp.
The Horcrux was at his side in a second.
“You appear to be injured” it said with mild alarm. “We must discuss Grindelwald
later, you realise?! For the moment.. I will go in your place.
Share any pertinent memories with me now and I shall bring the boy back.
Tom
wanted to hit him. It was his fault that the boy was missing in
the first place.
“See
reason” the horcrux insisted. “You are
in no state to confront Dumbledore.. and you are not up for a pursuit either. Give me your memories and go and rest. I will reclaim him and bring him down.”
Tom
stopped and tipped his head back in frustration, glaring up at the stalactites
on the stone cupola far above.
He knew that he was right. He was him
after all. His logic was unflawed.
“If you fail..” he threatened pointlessly.
The
horcrux rolled its eyes. “Yes, yes.. I assure you – I wish him back at least as much as you
do. I concede that you were right about
him. I had truly thought you
addled. But we are wasting time. Give me the memories!”
Tom
sighed and pulled his wand. He needed to
know..everything that had happened with Dumbledore at
the very least. There were too many
memories to share and inadequate time for the horcrux to process them all. He needed to be selective.
He
adjusted the towel he’d wrapped around his waist and tried to ignore the
strange hard smooth feeling beneath his balls.
This was just so wrong. What had
happened last night had been fucked up but.. there were parts of his body that really should never touch a basilisk.
He yelped
and dove forward frantically spreading his arms and trying to grip onto the
smooth scaly surface as the creature suddenly twisted and then shot vertically up a shaft Harry hadn’t even
noticed was there. Gravity was tugging
at him and the tuck of the towel quickly unfolded. He gasped as it
fluttered down away from him, baring his arse to the dark pipe. It was the least of his worries right
now. He could feel his grip slipping, his feet scrabbled at the smooth sides of the
snake, finding no purchase.
::I’m going to fall!!:: he tried to scream,
discovering that it was actually impossible to scream and hiss at the same
time. Parseltongue was really only
executable within certain vocal registers.
::You are a bad mate:: the basilisk hissed back, sounding
resentful. ::and
you are a bad masssster!::
Harry
sputtered and tried urgently to think of a persuasive argument quickly. ::Tom should punish
me.. if I die.. he won’t be
able to and he’ll be angry::
Somehow,
although upward progress was not arrested, the basilisk somehow compressed
itself and Harry found that a slight bulge appeared beneath his legs, allowing
him to grip slightly better.
::You insssssisted I bring you here.. it isss not for humansss to use::
::I have to find him.
He could be in danger up there.:: Harry
explained again pointlessly.
::You have no coveringsss.. and you are weak. I can ssssmell
it..::
Harry
glared at the black shiny wall in front of his face. :: I am NOT weak!::
The
basilisk didn’t answer again but he felt it slowing. Above, the slithery sounds of the basilisks progress echoed strangely. Harry realised that they were coming to the
end of the pipe, He
needed to open the sinks..
When he hissed the word, cracking sounds harked down, echoing and
reverberating. He felt dust sift down on
him.
Above, a bright star shape appeared and grew as the sinks parted in the centre
and drew apart, sinking down into the floor.
Seshastra rose up slowly and sniffed sharply. Harry could feel his wariness. It was
day and the girls bathroom probably smelled of
students even if it wasn’t so favoured due to the presence of moaning myrtle.
Deeming it safe enough apparently the creature rose above the rim of the hole
and drew out over the floor, laying its head down on the tiles. Harry found himself pulled down into a
horizontal position again.
Bare-arse-naked.
If he had
been uncomfortable about his balls touching occupied snakeskin before.. that was nothing compared to the
full body spider-monkey cling that he was in right now. God.. he couldn’t imagine how it must look. His head darted up quickly then and he gave
the room a once over – either she’d run off when she first saw him or she was
somewhere else. Thank god. Facing Myrtle right now would have just made
the whole experience that much more special.
He peeled
himself off the animal’s scales, sliding down onto the ground with legs rubbery
from mortal fear of falling to his death.
::You should probably go back down to the chamber:: he hissed
nervously.
He didn’t
need to tell Seshastra twice. The snake withdrew like a whip and was gone
without another word.
It really was incredibly pissed off
at him, he thought again uncomfortably.
Right. Um. Ok.
He closed the sinks absently and then looked down.
He was up here. Step one in getting the escaped
horcrux back down to the chambers.
er... clothing. Clothing would probably be necessary for all
the other possible steps he had.
He didn’t have a wand either – so stunning some hapless student and nicking off
with their clothes probably wouldn’t be happening.
Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea..
But he
could hardly just sit down there while the horcrux might be exposing Tom and
possibly getting into deep trouble.
He tried not to think about the various implications of the word exposed just at this particular point in
time.
Horcrux-Tom had no idea what had happened over the last year – and he had no
idea what would happen if anyone dragged him into the infirmary because they
thought he was suffering from amnesia.
Would the mediwitch discover that there was something very wrong with him?!
It would
be fine. He just needed to somehow get
from the first floor down to the dungeons to his room.
That was
quite a long way away. He’d have to go
down the main staircase and pass the great hall.
He’d have to go through the Slytherin common room...
No! No he wouldn’t! Tom’s room was just down the corridor from
here! The clothes would be a little
big but at least he wouldn’t be naked!
He walked uneasily to the bathroom door. He had his hand on the handle when a peevish
voice behind him let out a shrill scream.
“Oh my GOD! you’re NAKED!!!..”
Harry
grimaced and leaned forward, banging his head against the closed bathroom door
in frustration.
Now.. NOW..everything was just perfect.
“Hello
Myrtle” he said wearily, cupping his privates in both hands and not turning
around as he glanced over his shoulder at her.
“What are
you DOING in the girl’s bathroom NAKED?!” The goggle eyed girl floated closer wearing a
partially translucent expression in which shock and indignation was giving way
to excited fascination, as she blatantly ogled him.
He could have really done without
this. It was bad enough dealing with
Myrtle the time he’d used the prefects bath during the
triwizard tournament.
But this Myrtle was much younger. She
didn’t have the courage to be quite as obnoxious as the ghost in his own
time. Myrtle back home would have been
wolf whistling or making suggestive comments by now, trying to peek. This girl simply stared as if she’d never
seen a boy unclothed before.
He
realised, with a little guilt, that she probably
hadn’t. Myrtle was not the most
attractive of girls. It was possible
she’d never even been kissed before she was killed.
It was sad.
Nevertheless – he had no intention of being her object of study.
“Um.. I’ve got to go, ok?” he tried, swallowing at the
painfully disappointed expression on the ghost’s face. “I’ll come back another time maybe. But right now I’ve got to find someone.”
“Liar. You won’t come
back. No one ever comes in here.. They all hate me! Why are you naked? Where are your clothes?! You don’t even have your wand!!”
Harry
grimaced. “I really will come back” he
promised, wishing that he had the callousness not to. “As for my clothes – Tom
Riddle took them. He has my wand too!”
The girl’s face stretched into an O of surprise.
“Not Tom!!.. He’s so dreamy. He’d never
do something so awful. Did you do
something to deserve it?!”
Harry
scowled internally. The bloody bastard kills her and she still thinks he’s sex
on legs.
He hated
himself for the little purr of agreement that he couldn’t quite suppress.
Bloody snake.
“I didn’t do anything to him. I’ve got
to go now Myrtle – before someone comes in here and finds me.”
Course.. it was Saturday. If it was a
weekday and students were in classes – the corridor would probably be empty
about now. But it was Saturday. As he opened the door a crack and put his eye
to it, he could see more than a handful of students milling about on their way
to wherever. He closed the door again
with a low groan.
“Are you
going to stay then?” Myrtle said from about three inches behind him, causing
him to nearly leap out of his skin.
“DAMN
IT! Don’t do that!! No.. I’m not
staying. I’m... I’m just going to have
to streak. I have to get some clothes!”
The scandalised expression on the frumpy girl’s face said it all.
He tried to tell himself that he could just say it was a dare. When the rumour went round the school he
would just say that he and tom and the others had been in a game of wizarding
truth or dare and he was literally unable
to back out of it once he’d chosen dare.
yeah. That was
fine. It was just..
just a few dozen metres or so of probably screaming
and pointing and possibly laughing.
He sighed.
Right then.
Sliding
the door open as unobtrusively as possible he sidled out into the
corridor. No one had seen him yet. Great. Most students were walking down in the
direction he wanted to go. They were all
facing the other way. Cupping himself
awkwardly he slid into step behind them.
If he could just be..casual enough.. maybe no one would..
“BLOODY MERLIN’S BALLS!!
HE’S STARKERS!!”
It was a
boy. Probably a third
or fourth year somewhere in the corridor behind him. They must have just come up the stairs. Bugger. The students ahead were turning around to see
what the fuss was about – someone starkers was an
unusual sight in the corridors. Merlin
knew that if he and Ron had heard that they’d have been jeering and whistling
like the rest.
Well.. at least.. back in the day.. before..everything went to
hell in a handbasket they would have..
Harry
decided that now was the best time to run like the clappers.
He
launched himself off, running with difficulty since he was clutching his jiggly bits, and dodging the now wide-eyed, loudly reacting
students.
Just as he’d feared there was pointing. And shrieking. And laughing.
His bare feet slapped the stone floors as he put distance between himself and
as many of the students as possible.
A few were running after him, delighted at this entertainment and grinning at
the reactions of the students he ran into who were still unawares.
It took
longer than he thought it would and he could feel his face burning with
embarrassment when the mermaid portrait was finally in sight.
They would see him go in.
God. Tom’s
precious reputation would be in tatters.
Fuck. He’d be bloody furious!
Well.. What other choice did he have?! Run all the way down to the dungeons. They were in the other direction. NO.
Not bloody likely.
He
ignored the saucy kissyfaces of the mermaid who leapt
off her rock and swam right up to the surface of the painting. He whispered the password and when she didn’t
open, he hissed it angrily and told her to hurry up.
She huffed, insulted, and folded her arms.
He growled and then urged her. “Please.. Please
just open.. I’m sorry.
Let me in please.”
The portrait swung out slightly and he almost threw himself inside Tom’s quarters.
Ok. one step closer to
finding the horcrux Tom and dragging him back down to the chamber of
secrets. Harry caught his breath and
then sighed. All of this was so
unnecessary. If he’d just..stayed with Tom this morning..
or ok. Tom
II. If he’d stayed with Tom the second
this morning instead of brushing him off in his guilt, then none of this would
have happened.
and really.. maybe the
horcrux was right – maybe it was daft to feel guilty. Maybe it didn’t matter since they were really
the same person.
But that
was stupid. They weren’t. They didn’t act the same. They didn’t know the same things. Saying they were the same person because they
were parts of one soul was like saying that he himself and Tom were the same person just because he carried a piece of the
Slytherin’s soul.
They were different people. Even if they looked the same. It was as much a betrayal of his Tom as it would have been if he’d
slept with an identical twin. It was
just wrong!
But...
But
what?! But nothing! It was wrong and that was that.
Last
night had been amazing though. and this morning.. at least until
his guilty conscience caught up with him.
He moved
to the wardrobe and dug through, looking for something that didn’t scream ‘I’m
wearing Tom Riddle’s clothes’.
Tom.. that is the real Tom, as he had decided to view himself, watched his double
disappear into the darkness toward the bridge over the chasm. He felt a strangely paralysing sense of
unease. It had sublimated his anger the
moment he’d given the other his memories of Dumbledore, leaving him feeling
physically ill.
Caed was going to prefer the horcrux.
Tom had
no idea what had happened while he was away tolerating indignity and pain again
at Grindelwald’s hand – but from the way his other
self had behaved, Caed had somehow been involved in
his resurrection and the time since had not
been spent drinking tea and discussing the weather.
And when Caed discovered-..
as he was sure to, one way or another since his
horcrux insisted upon knowing what had occurred with the Dark Wizard..
- when he discovered
that his..for want of a better word, mate,.. had become..a
sexual toy to the man - that after punishing Caed
upon the mere suspicion of betrayal,
his own fidelity was not even
magically possible – It would make it so much easier for his twin to usurp his
position with the overly emotional blonde.
How had
he done it?! How had he returned?! Had Caed somehow
changed the timeline?! Was that
possible?! It contradicted every theory
he had developed about the operation of time and those who travelled through
it.
He questioned himself.. his
logic. Was he wrong? Had Caed somehow
managed to lure a student into writing in..
But no.
In one night?
No one could write that much. The
processes he’d instilled in the diary required a slow energy transfer. It was exactly the thing that he’d berated
himself over when he had been reading the book that Grindelwald
allowed him access to. Anyone who had
begun to write in the diary would be trapped by its charms..
would be compelled to return time and time again, each time losing more of
their will, more control over their mind – but they would not be consumed in
the course of one night!
What then had Caed done?!
He regretted
allowing the horcrux to persuade him to remain here. He was on the verge of convincing himself
that it would not in fact be
unacceptably dangerous to risk two versions of himself wandering around up in
the castle looking for the dratted brat when a distant scraping echo drew his
attention.
The sound was familiar to him.
Seshastra was in the pipes..
drawing closer.
He was returning. Perhaps with Caed.
He waited,
listening to the scraping gradually become a slithering and then the black nose
edged out of the darkness of the wide dry cistern pipe.
Closing his eyes he waited, hearing the basilisk approach until he felt a large
cold surface press lightly against him.
The snake was ...sniffing. Its
black venomous tongue flicked out and tasted the air.
::Massster... you have returned::
the raspy voice pronounced with great relief.
::Where isss the
other?! The...one who iss almossst Masssster.”
Tom
opened his eyes and frowned at the creature who had
become something of a friend over the years.
::That does not matter for now. Seshastra – Where
is Caed - the boy I left with you? Where did you take him?!::
The snake
drew back and seemed to cower slightly, its large head bowing and pressing
against the ground. Its body coiled and
uncoiled nervously. The sight of one of
the most deadly creatures imaginable cowering before him pleased him on some
deeper level, he realised.
::The mate isss a bad mate.. He wasss
not recssseptive and other Massster
was disssappointed.
I do not undersssstand why the mating
failed. It had sssseemed
correct. I do not underssstand
human mating.::
Tom found
this very interesting and encouraging for his own position with the boy, but it
had nothing to do with the question he had asked.
::WHERE is Caed, Seshastra. I instructed you to guard him. He should be here!::
::Bade me bring him up the pipessss. He hasss
no coveringsss. Sssstupid human.::
Tom
blinked, shocked. Caed
had no coverings? Clothes? He was naked?!
What would possess the little fool to go up that
way and do it naked?!
The answer was obvious to him almost immediately. The horcrux had either
vanished or hidden his clothing, taken his wand and left him
downstairs. To any right thinking wizard
the absence of clothing and wand would encourage them to remain where they were
and wait for assistance – however Caed was a wilful
little bastard and for whatever reason he had determined to go up even so.
::Why did he want to go?
Did he say?::
Tom frowned, panicking just a little more. There were very few places Caed might go.
He knew where he was most likely headed first.
The question was whether he would still be there.
::Nevermind. Take me up the same way::
he demanded, dragging himself forward and trying to pull himself up onto the
basilisk. He couldn’t seem to climb
up. His legs were not much use right
now. The snake noticed at once and
started to fuss at him. Irate, he
snapped at it.
::Silence! I
have tasked you with one thing in all
the years that I have spent with you – guard and protect that boy for ONE day. Now he
is wandering the castle naked and unarmed
while Dumbledore hunts him. I am angry
with you Seshastra.
Caed is my bond-mate
and you have endangered him.”
The
mournful hissing and writhing of the animal betrayed its intense distress.
::But massster is hurt..::
Tom drew
his wand, ready to snap at the creature and levitate himself up onto its back
when a single rational thought penetrated his panicked mind. He had sent the horcrux up. If he now followed it up, not only would it
be exceedingly dangerous – their duplication could be detected by students, or
worse, by Dumbledore – but also, the horcrux would (as he himself would if the
situation were reversed) perceive his behaviour as a slight upon his
abilities. At the present time it was
perhaps better not to add further insult to the doppelganger’s reasons to
potentially conspire against him.
::I am well:: he responded to the basilisk somewhat
lamely. ::there
is no cause for concern. I will retire
to my rooms. Wait here, Seshastra. I do not
wish them to be forced to delay in calling you from the antechamber.
He turned
and hissed the way free, trying not to limp as he made his way inside. Once out of the snake’s view, however, he
allowed his pain to show again, dragging himself to the closed door after the
bathroom.
The door deliberated for a long time before opening at his touch. Tom wondered whether the existence of two Tom
Riddle’s might be problematic for it.
Letting himself in, he took a deep breath of the heavy steamy air and
almost sighed in relief.
The
thermal spring was dark and lit only by phosphorescent algae, just like the
larger chambers outside Slytherin’s rooms.
The room he stood in was about the same size as the generous bedroom and
quite foggy with perfumed steam. A series of stone benches and moulded
platforms were grouped around a roughly circular pool set into the natural
stone of the floor. It had an almost
entirely organic appearance, with the exception of the stone steps carved into
one side. Its temperature remained at a
constant 41 degrees celcius.
He rarely
used the thermal bath – He did not spend much time down here and the prefects baths upstairs offered a more than adequate
substitute without the risk of detection that was associated with venturing
down to Slytherin’s chambers.
The water of the spring was however infused with some form of healing charm or
perhaps merely muscle relaxing charm. He
had observed in the past that the positive effects of bathing here were too
great to be merely due to hot mineral water.
Tugging
off his uniform with less care than he would usually apply, he undressed and
limped over to the pool, wincing at the extreme heat when he dipped a foot
in. He cast a wandless cooling charm
upon the water, knowing it would not last.
By the time the charm wore off, he would have adjusted to the
temperature sufficiently.
He walked down the steps until the water reached his waist and then lowered himself gingerly, hissing at the uncomfortably warm
temperature.
Swimming
a brisk breast stroke over to the far wall of the bath, he turned and sat upon
the large stone that he knew was beneath the water here.
The pool
was deep in the centre. He did not know
how deep. The idea of it had unsettled
him greatly at first, nevertheless, if he remained at the edges of the pool, it
was very pleasant and the effects were undeniable. Already he could feel the tightness in his
legs beginning to give.
He rested his head back against the lip of the pool and closed his eyes. It was quite dim within the room anyway and the
strange effect of the luminescent algae over the ceiling and walls blurred
through the steam was reminiscent of the Avada Kedavra glimpsed in a
dream.
His mind
turned back over the events of the last day.
What had
possessed him to make such foolish choices?!
Well...
Greed.. and arrogance.
And need..
but also ambition.
The idiotic desire for approval from one who he
respected.
Without Caedmon’s
unexpected arrival, he would never have been in the position to consider
pledging himself to the Dark Lord Grindelwald.
Nevertheless.. he had
accepted the terms.. he had been anxious to gain
access to the great wizard’s library.. to be viewed as
his apprentice.
And
perhaps..with the exception of the fucking..and the humiliation.. the physical
torture.. the impulsiveness and possessive obsession
of the man, it had not been...so..unsuccessful. Grindelwald had allowed him to read a valuable book from
his library.. had shared
several potentially useful spells with him and given advice on how he might
further his abilities – whether it pertained to ambidextrous casting or the
most effective application of legilimens.
He had in fact, in some ways, given
him precisely what he had hoped for.
It would be a lie to say that he had not at any point considered how the most
powerful wizard in the world might be as a lover. Of course he had. While he was amusing himself with foolish,
pretty, desperately-in-love schoolboys and collecting his wealth of information
on Grindelwald, the curiosity had been present now
and again
He had
not imagined it this way.
Perhaps
it was irrational, but on some level he had never considered the possibility
that he would be willingly sexually subservient to any wizard. To have rendered himself permanently so, was
beyond idiotic. He had been blinded by
the thought of what he might attain in exchange.. and concerned that the dictator would not be reasoned with
much beyond the concessions he had made.
He thought back to the first time he had submitted himself to the dark wizard’s
attentions. It had been.. quite different.. to the way he had been treated this time.
Not to say that he had not enjoyed any of it.. had not found pleasurable release..
The first time, he realised now, Grindelwald had been
...gentle... with him. That was his
equivalent of gentle.
He was not naive enough to miss the way that the man’s sexual behaviour had
been geared toward conditioning him... training him...
The
thought of returning there troubled him greatly. He had a strong feeling that, now that the
other wizard had decided he might like to keep him, he would become increasingly
demanding.
For several hours, Tom had been concerned that he would not be allowed to leave
today.
However, Grindelwald still required the information
from Caed’s memory, such that there was sufficient
information present there to help him – something which Tom was no longer
confident about, and in truth no longer particularly cared about. It would be best if Grindelwald
were killed in duel with Dumbledore – he imagined the man would have his mark
burning constantly if he were merely incarcerated.
If Grindelwald got his hands upon Caed..
If he suspected that there was no more information to be gained..
Tom was sure that if it became merely an issue of completing his studies.. not being observed to be
missing.. or his own wish to be resident in England as
opposed to Eastern Europe – He would quickly find himself permanently detained
at the dark wizard’s pleasure.
Author note.
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