Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Matters of the Heart	By : strawberryf1re Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Snape/Hermione Views: 34556 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 6
Disclaimer: The Harry Potter universe (characters, settings, etc.) ŠJ.K. Rowling. No profits are made from this work.

Chapter List
- 24
- 25
- 26
Rating: M – inappropriate for readers under the age of 16; contains scenes of explicit sexuality and violence.

Disclaimer: Characters and settings ©J.K. Rowling

Matters of the Heart

K. Marie

Chapter 25

That weekend, Hermione assisted Severus in creating the fertilizer for Professor Sprout. It was a fairly simple potion, but he did not forewarn his apprentice about just how dreadful the process truly was (he certainly had no warning his first time of doing the favor for his colleague!).

With her hair tied back and her apron tied about her waist, Hermione was busy stirring the bubbling cauldron full of green slop. The solution within was thick, about the consistency of pea soup, and just as foul. From the cauldron, a dark brown cloud billowed into the room, lingering just below the ceiling. She peered down into the cauldron just once before she was caught completely off-guard by the horrid smell that emanated from the potion.

"This… is… wretched," she gagged as the smell overwhelmed her senses.

"Indeed," Severus replied grimly, precisely measuring out the dried dragon dung. He held it over the cauldron and tipped his hand forward, allowing the matter to tumble into the solution below.

"I regret offering to help you, Severus," Hermione said, smiling slightly at her lover.

He cast her a harmless glare and turned to face the table. The smell emanating from the cauldron was slowly becoming unbearable, the brown haze that lingered below the ceiling finally filling the room from corner to corner. As they worked through the evening, Hermione eventually gave in and cast a charm that kept the smell contained within the cauldron, though Severus advised that she not control the smoke that lingered.

"I had done that myself the first time I brewed this for Pomona," Severus began, his dark gaze flickering between his lover and the cauldron before him. "I did not anticipate the pure density of that fog."

Hermione tilted her head to the side, curiously. As Severus sprinkled some crushed herb to the concoction and it rose to a rolling boil, he looked up at her.

"The cauldron exploded."

Hermione's eyes widened before she burst out laughing. The thought of Severus coated head-to-toe in that green slop was hilarious, especially considering how furious she knew he must have gotten. She only imagined he must have been an absolute sputtering mess by the end of the evening.

"I did not find it nearly as humorous as you seem to, Miss Granger," he crooned softly, his dark eyes staring into her own.

The potion began rolling violently in the cauldron, splattering onto the floor. Hermione and Severus both took a step back away from the pot, out of reach of the splashing slop. Large, murky, dripping bubbles lifted off the surface of the potion, floating precariously above the couple. Hermione raised her wand, sparks shooting out of the end to pop the bubbles without making a mess. They disintegrated in the air, only the slightest of droplets dripping to the ground.

"The benefit to doing this insufferable task," Severus began as he levitated large jars to the cauldron and filled them with the fertilizer, "is that Pomona grants me fairly unlimited access to her greenhouses, so whatever she grows is available to us."

"I don't know if it's worth it, Severus!" Hermione exclaimed, watching him distribute the potion evenly among the jars. Looking at her arms, she noticed they were stained green up to her elbows. "This is just… this is awful!" She pulled off her gloves, shocked to find that the green mess had somehow permeated her gloves, staining even her fingers and palms.

"It took me several years to find what would wash this off," Severus growled. "And I do believe Pomona received great pleasure from my suffering."

Hermione giggled. "'Suffering,' Severus?"

His only response was a guttural grunt as he waved his wand, capping off the jars. As they cleaned up, Severus moved the jars effortlessly through the air with his wand, setting them by the dungeon classroom door. Hermione carried most of the vials of ingredients to the storeroom, ascending the ladder and replacing them carefully. Severus gathered what she could not, and standing at the foot of the ladder, he handed them to her, one-by-one.

As Hermione descended the ladder, Severus pulled her into his arms and pressed a kiss to her mouth. Between them lingered no more of the awkwardness that had existed earlier in the week, immediately following his proposal. While his thoughts were still plagued by it, she did not seem nearly as anxious – and he supposed that it was better than the emotionality she was displaying.

As he deepened his kiss, she tangled her fingers in his hair. Her touch alone reminded him that he was willing to wait an eternity for her answer if she needed it; waking beside her each morning reminded him that she was worth it. As he tightened his arms around her, pressing her body against his, she released a soft moan into his mouth, and below his belt, something reacted.

As she pulled away from him, she tipped her forehead against his, the cool surface of his face refreshing against her skin. She let her eyes flicker closed as she breathed in the smell of his breath, the solution he used on his skin when he shaved, and the soap he used to bathe.

"Severus, I've been thinking," she said to him softly as she snaked her arms around his neck.

His hands lowered to cup her hips, his strong fingers pressing into the flesh of her buttocks gently. "Hm?"

Her voice was hesitant, as though she was uncertain of what she was about to say. As her eyes opened, she looked deeply into his. "What if… to handle the Malfoy issue… we used a memory charm?"

For a moment, it seemed as though time froze. His black eyes widened as he stared into hers, and slowly, Severus backed out of her embrace. The expression on his face contorted into a look of disgust or shock, but Hermione was so unfamiliar with his features morphed in such a way that she couldn't be sure. Turning her head to the side, Hermione questioned his sudden unexpected reaction. Taking a step forward, she touched his arm.

"Hermione, we cannot risk permanent damage to a student solely for our own benefit," he said slowly, turning from her. His speech was very precise, as though he was choosing his words very carefully. "Memory charms are not to be taken lightly, even by the most powerful wizard. I expect you know that."

Hermione's bottom lip curled as she frowned and she began wringing her hands. "I know that, Severus… but I just thought…" She stared at her hands, as though she was searching them for the answer. "I thought that perhaps if you performed the charm—"

"I do not make a habit of completely changing another's life for my own gain, Hermione," Severus growled, pacing before her. "Despite how skilled a wizard I am."

Hermione shook her head violently. "But Severus!" she cried, reaching for him. "If he tells anyone else, if anyone else finds out… this could save your life!"

"Hermione, you are not thinking," he stalked to his desk, his hands flat against the cold surface. Leaning into his arms, he stared into nothingness. "Draco Malfoy is not alone in this. If we were to erase his memories, we would have to do so to the rest of his family."

Hermione approached him from behind, her small hand gently touching his shoulder. "I'm sorry, Severus. I just…"

"I know, Hermione," he said, turning towards her. She collapsed into his embrace, burying her face in his chest. Touching his lips to the top of her head, he whispered: "We have no choice, Hermione. We must simply… wait, and allow the events to unfold."

Hermione could not sleep that night. As she tossed and turned in bed, Severus' sleeping form beside her, her mind would not silence, no matter how much she willed it. She was exhausted, her eyelids heavy and sore, and yet sleep would not come. As she rolled on her side, her eyes could barely make out the face of her lover, his eyes closed in peaceful sleep, his body curled beside her and radiating heat.

As she watched his face, his slow, even breathing whispering against her skin, she knew the answer to his question. She knew without a doubt that she wished to spend the rest of her life with him. She desired more than anything to bear his name and birth his children, to grow old with him and watch the days pass. She knew that to wake up beside him each morning after making love to him each night was a blessing that none would know but her. She knew that his capacity for love challenged even hers, and he was a fierce, dedicated man, one who would love her until the end of his days.

Lifting her hand to his sallow cheek, her fingers delicately traced the contour of his cheekbone, the wrinkling around his mouth and the line of his strong jaw. His mouth moved just subtly in response, and he released a heavy, sleepy sigh. She loved this man more than she ever thought possible, and she knew that she wanted, more than anything else in the world, to hold onto him forever.

Why was it, then, she could not manage the word? It was a simple word, a single-syllable word, a word her heart was screaming. Why was she hesitant to answer him? It absolutely killed her to leave him wondering. She knew he must doubt her true feelings towards him if she hadn't answered. He must be absolutely tortured by his unknowing. Hermione knew he could easily discover what exactly she was thinking; she almost wished he would open her mind like a book and pluck from it the information he so desperately sought. She wouldn't fight it; she would willingly reveal to him that her heart ached to be away from him and the pain was only magnified with her own uncertainty.

As he crept in closer to her under the covers, his arm draping across her waist, she gently combed her fingers through his dark hair. What was her fear, she wondered? She did not fear the commitment; of that much she was certain.

Was it… Lily? Hermione was not a jealous person, not in the slightest; his dedication to the woman was only proof that he would show her the same. Could he? She thought perhaps he could, because he had already shown her so much in recent months. But he loved her so much for so long, his entire life dedicated to the preservation of her memory. How could he have any love remaining for her?

Was it his age? He was nearly forty, and she was only nearing twenty. Even if magical blood blessed the veins with longevity, he still would certainly predecease her. Would he be there for her when her own parents passed on, or would she be mourning the deaths of her parents alone? What did his future with the Death Eaters hold? Would his death be more premature, more unexpected, than she already feared?

The thought of ever having to exist without him tore her heart in two, and tears leaked out onto her cheeks. Blinking them away, she leaned into him to kiss him softly. His lips pushed back against hers, returning the gesture.

As he spoke, his voice was gruff with sleep. "Hermione… why are you awake?"

"I couldn't sleep, Severus," she whispered.

His dark eyes flickered open, heavy-lidded and glazed. Touching her naked leg with his warm fingers, she drew in closer to him.

"What troubles you?" he asked, clearing his throat. His eyes were wider now, as though he was more awake, but the grogginess of his voice told otherwise.

"Severus, I want to marry you," she said suddenly, her voice high, the words rushed. "But I'm scared."

She thought, through the darkness, she saw the corners of his mouth turn upwards in a smile. He leaned into her, kissing her.

"Of course you are."

Slowly, he turned onto his back, his arm reaching beneath her to pull her close. His fingers grabbed at the covers, laying them across her body and trapping her warmth with his. She rested her head against his chest, her fingers tracing shapes into the flesh of his bosom.

"You are rational to a fault, Hermione," he said to her quietly, his eyes flickering closed. "If you were not scared, I would be concerned. Do you wish to share your burden?"

At first, she was hesitant to divulge to him what worried her so immensely, but as his fingers delicately tickled the skin on her arm, she knew he ought to know why she had not answered him yet. He had been so patient with her, despite her emotionality in recent weeks, and even when he seemed ill-tempered, he tried to keep from lashing out at her. He deserved to know.

"Severus… you're… you're almost forty," her voice was almost a whimper. "I'm only eighteen."

"I beg you not to rush my aging, Miss Granger," he crooned. "I am only thirty-seven."

"It's all the same, Severus. I… I don't want to be alone for the last twenty years of my life," she said softly. "And… what if… what if you're killed? What if—" Her voice cracked, the back of her throat aching with the onset of tears.

His arm curled around her tightly. "Hermione, in your world, most relationships that end in death last fifty years. We are blessed with longer lives – you will not be alone as soon as you fear."

"And if you're killed?" her grip on the sheets beneath his shoulder tightened.

"To quote a very wise witch, 'that is the risk you take when you open yourself up to someone.'" He paused, as though another thought had occurred to him, and as the young witch in his arms sniffled back her tears as she nuzzled her face into his chest, he spoke: "Hermione, I do not want you to believe that for a moment I am trivializing your fears. They are valid and they are rational." His fingers combed through the locks of her hair. "But I seem to recall a very similar conversation only two months ago, with roles reversed."

He felt her head move, as though she nodded. "I'm just scared, Severus… I don't want to be mourning for you when I should be mourning the death of my parents."

If her concerns weren't so valid, he would have chuckled. "I understand, Hermione. I understand all too well the heartache of eternal loss." For just a split second, those almond-shaped emerald eyes flashed in his memory.

"Severus, can I ask you something?"

"Anything."

"Why did you betray Voldemort?"

The silence that followed her weighted question persisted for what seemed like hours. Severus' eyes opened, staring at the dark, empty ceiling, the feeling of Hermione wrapped around him comforting him in that moment. He knew she must have felt his heart racing in his chest, and as her fingers traced shapes over the overtaxed organ within, she waited patiently for his answer.

"Hermione…" he whispered, as though only to assure her he had not fallen asleep. How this woman managed to ask him the most difficult of questions, the kind of questions he would never answer if given the opportunity. She deserved to know, of course, but did he want to tell her? He loved her dearly, completely, eternally – that would never change.

Severus, you fool. He chastised himself. If only to prove that you trust her…

She waited patiently, and he thought perhaps she would wait a lifetime if she had to. Her fingers were still tracing delicate shapes on the skin of his chest, the wiry hair scratching the soft pads of her fingers.

Willing the words to leave his lips, Severus' entire body was tense. Whether or not the woman tangled among him noticed, he did not know. He wished to tell her, so badly to explain to her, but once again, he found himself apprehensive, if only because he feared she would love him less for it.

What are you, a child? "For Lily."

The movement in Hermione's fingers slowed gradually until they froze completely. She said nothing, her breathing slow and even, despite Severus' pounding heart within his chest. To Severus, those few brief minutes passed slowly like years, his blood rushing through his veins so violently he could hear the pulsing in his ears.

Finally, the silence was broken. Hermione's voice was quiet and meek, but Severus had no difficulty in hearing her. In that moment, the word to leave her lips was, for Severus, the most beautiful word in the entire English language.

"Yes."
- 24
- 25
- 26
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Matters of the Heart