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The Long Road	By : SinisterMe Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Snape/Remus Views: 63598 -:- Recommendations : 3 -:- Currently Reading : 18
Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction using characters from the Harry Potter world, which is trademarked by J. K. Rowling. This story is purely for entertainment purposes, no money is being made from it.

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Remus felt a mixture of relief and anxiety upon seeing Severus appear in the doorway. He’d come to the conclusion that his master would leave him to soak alone regardless of his previous invitation. To share a bed or to use him for sex was one thing, but to soak in the same water that cleaned his diseased body was something entirely different. He still couldn’t believe he’d suggested it; it was a good thing that Severus wasn’t quick to anger over such oversights or he may have incited his rage. He’d been so concerned over Snape’s reaction that he hadn’t really even been enjoying his bath.
After a moment of hesitation Severus strode into the steam filled room, allowing the door to swing partially shut behind himself, moving closer to the tub. “What?” he asked at the strange look on Remus’ face, stopping just short of the bath mat.
“It’s nothing, sir. I just thought that you weren’t coming back,” Remus admitted.
Severus wasn’t sure what he meant. “Well I certainly wouldn’t leave you in there all night,” he said, affronted.
Remus smiled; Severus had managed to completely miss what he was saying and on some level he found it endearing. “Of course not, sir,” he agreed.
“You know that there is no reason we need to do this together, correct?” Severus clarified, undoing the row of tiny buttons on both of his cuffs.
“I know that, sir; but we’re going to have to do it eventually if a bath is part of the bonding.” Remus would have stuck his head under the water if he was able, but the charm Snape had placed on him wouldn’t allow it. He had no reason to be pushing for this, every reason to take what was offered and have a moment’s reprieve. Yet here he was, basically pushing the issue.
“Well yes, we are.” Severus looked at Remus perceptively. “Alright, you win. Just let me wash your hair first, that will be easier if we’re not both sloshing around in there.”
Remus felt a sudden nervousness that must have appeared on his face, because Severus said, “I’m still taking that potion, remember, so you will have nothing to fear from me again tonight.”
Remus was beginning to wonder if he had anything to fear from this man at all, no matter the circumstances. That line of thinking could be very dangerous for him if he was misreading things in any way; he attempted to quell it immediately. His mind was playing enough tricks on him anyway; if he just held on a little longer then perhaps Snape would show his true colours and they could be done with this façade. If life had taught him anything, it was that anything that seemed too good to be true usually was.
Snape removed his shirt and socks, going around to the back of the tub. He rolled the legs of his trousers up to a place just past his knees, moving to sit on the wide ledge that surrounded the tub, making sure that Remus saw what he was doing as he took his seat. Lowering his calves into the water on either side of the other man’s body, he took up the small jug on the ledge beside him, filling it up in the hot water from the tub.
“Ready?” Snape drawled.
“Yes, sir,” Remus said. He didn’t know how he felt about this progression, if it would even happen. In a way, he felt like if he urged things on he would somehow have control over what was happening, but he admitted to himself that that was just a lie he was telling himself. Severus would be in control, always, no matter what.
Snape guided Remus’ head back so he was looking at the juncture between the wall and ceiling opposite them and began to pour the water over his hair. When he was sure it was all dampened he set the jug aside and took up the bottle of shampoo, pouring a measure on his hands and soaping them up before bringing the appendages to Lupin’s hair. He took his time, creating a thick layer of suds, dragging his fingers in slow circles around the other man’s skull.
Remus wasn’t sure what to think when Severus’ legs settled into the water, one on each side of him, but he took a deep breath and waited to see how everything would play out. It had only been a few short days, but he had already forgotten how wonderful it felt to have his master’s fingers coursing over his scalp like that. Despite all of his previous concerns he found himself melting back into the medicated water, now thankful he was charmed not to sink. When he was well things would change; it certainly couldn’t be like this to be the slave of the sadistic and cantankerous Severus Snape, could it? Remus almost felt nervous laughter bubbling out of him at the thought. That couldn’t be it.
Those thoughts vacated his mind as Snape poured another round of warm water over him, cautious to keep the suds out of his eyes and away from his face. He clenched his newly healed hand a few times, deciding that although he could have done this himself, his muscles would have been so sore by the end of it that he was glad it was being done for him. He was still suspicious that Severus seemed to think his old carcass was worth this much time and attention, but he couldn’t deny that it felt fantastic.
Snape rinsed the hair a second and a third time before giving it much the same treatment with a round of conditioner. He rinsed it again and withdrew his dripping legs from the water, turning to place them on the mat by the tub.
“You’re positive about this?” Severus asked when he was standing and facing the tub again.
“Yes sir,” Remus said, wanting to add more but not finding the words. He left unsaid that he thought Severus would be highly unlikely to give his own injury any further treatment than what he had already done for it. While he was no potions expert or healer, he had noticed a remarkable difference in own his body the day after his last medicated bath. Surely Snape could benefit from that as well. Remus felt like he should be able to step past his own uneasiness in order to allow that for the man who had by all accounts taken a magical blast to the chest in order to save his son.
“Alright,” Snape replied, sounding like he was conceding to something that spelled certain and unavoidable doom for all involved. He cast a quick protection spell over his own bandages and unbuttoned the closures on his trousers, allowing them to drop to the floor before retrieving and folding them, setting the clothing aside with his shirt and socks. He set his wand so that he could access it easily from in the bath; this morning had put him on his guard.
Though it had been years since someone had seen him completely devoid of clothing, Severus didn’t hesitate before disrobing himself completely. He took the time to fold his underwear and set them aside with the rest of his clothing, turning around to walk the short distance back to the tub. His body was pale, gangly and pitted with scars; he knew exactly what he had to offer and there was no point being modest at this point in his life. Not when you had endured the humiliation and utter lack of control that he had in his years.
He went closer to the tub. “Move over a little then,” he said without venom.
Remus did what he was told, hoping his jaw wasn’t hanging open. Having not stayed for the ‘grand finale’ that day at the lake when they were teenagers and his friends had made a mockery of the young Slytherin’s body, he had no idea what to expect upon seeing Severus Snape in the nude. He should have seen it coming really, from a tall man with such prominent features; but somehow he hadn’t.
There was no tiptoeing around it: Snape was incredibly well endowed. Here the man was, standing in front of him completely flaccid and he was still larger than most men Remus had seen in his life. He was definitely bigger than Walden, who had done more than enough damage with the size he’d had. Severus wouldn’t have to try to hurt him; in fact Lupin knew that he would have to try not to injure him with a member that size.
He didn’t say anything as Snape stepped into the tub and eased himself into the hot water. The man sat so that he was facing Remus, their backs resting on opposite sides of the bath. When he was in he let out a content sigh, allowing his own head to rest against the lip of the tub, much in the same way he had placed Remus in there a while ago.
Lifting his head off of the porcelain Severus asked, “Happy?” in a halfheartedly sarcastic voice.
Remus didn’t reply, just gave Snape one of his trademark agreeable smiles and hoped it would suffice. Now that this was happening, he wondered if he had gone temporarily insane for having suggested it in the first place. He could feel Severus’ nearness and was painfully aware of their nakedness, though both their bodies were mostly obscured by the water.
Snape didn’t wait for a response. He dipped his head under the water briefly before surfacing and wiping the moisture away from his face. Taking a bottle off the ledge he poured a bit into his palm and went through the process of washing his own hair; it hadn’t been that long since his last shower, but he may as well make the most of it since he was in here. He rinsed well and wrung the excess water from his inky hair, rubbing his fingers tiredly against his closed eyes.
“Would you prefer to take your healing potion now or before sleep as usual?” Severus asked.
Remus jumped a little at the question; they’d been soaking in silence for some time now and he hadn’t expected it. “I don’t know sir; which would be best?”
“No matter; it will have the same effect if you take it now or in a few hours, so long as you take another dose tonight.”
Remus’ eyes travelled along the ledge, trying to pick out his healing potion from the long line of bottles and vials that rested there. “I imagine I should take it as soon as possible then, sir; no point in putting it off.” He liked the idea of getting it out of the way and getting a more clear sleep.
Severus selected a bottle near the end of the tub, offering it to Remus. Lupin uncorked it and took his dose, closing the bottle and passing it back.
“Thank you, sir.”
Severus nodded, setting the bottle back in its place. Remus’ leg was resting against his despite the extra space in the bath; he found himself diverting his gaze so he wouldn’t bore holes in the lycanthrope’s head by accident. Perhaps this wasn’t such a good idea after all.
“Sir?”
“Yes, Remus?” he was careful to use Lupin’s first name. He was attempting to use it where he could, especially in situations of greater intimacy; this definitely fell under that category.
“About what you were saying to Teddy earlier…” Remus trailed off, trying to choose his words carefully. Maybe it was the heat of the bath but he felt like that potion was doing double duty on loosening his tongue. He wanted to thank his master for his words earlier but didn’t want to bungle it because things didn’t come out correctly.
Severus sighed. “I had a feeling we would be discussing this. I know I more than likely got carried away with what I was saying.”
Remus’ expression closed off immediately. “…How so, sir?” He was suddenly afraid that Snape hadn’t meant a word he’d said earlier and was about to say so.
“I wanted to offer him some information and assurances that sometimes can only be given by someone who is outside of the situation. However, I believe I may have gone too far. You are his father and it didn’t occur to me at the time that that was a conversation you would most likely have wanted to play a larger part in. It was not my intention to undermine you as his parent,” Severus said.
“I- that isn’t it at all, sir!” Lupin said hurriedly, barely believing what he was hearing. “I wanted to thank you for what you said. When he told you he thought he was a werewolf because it was somehow something he deserved– I just locked up; if you hadn’t been level headed enough to explain things to him, I don’t know what I would have said. I find it difficult to talk to him about his lycanthropy.” Lupin looked down at his hands, sinking a low into the water as the charm would permit him.
“You have no reason to feel guilty, Remus.”
“No? Because of me my little boy has a painful, physically and socially crippling condition. Not for any other reason, master; because of me. Because of what I am.” He was very grateful that Snape hadn’t stressed that when he was talking to Teddy, though he’d had more than the perfect opportunity to.
“There is more to it than that,” Severus scoffed. “I imagine that Nymphadora being a Metamorphmagus played almost as large of a part in it as you carrying the condition. The fact that the two of you were able to conceive was remarkable in itself, that she carried the child to term defies almost all probability.” Great idea, Severus, bring up his dead wife while talking about a serious medical condition his son is afflicted with; excellent conversation skills.
“We didn’t stop to think about it, I guess, what with being in the middle of a war. All I worried about was that she and Teddy were safe.” Remus hadn’t thought much about that. They had conceived bloody so fast that the idea it was improbable hadn’t really occurred to him.
“Well in that case, take my word for it as someone who has spent most of their adult life researching your condition: that Teddy was born and she survived the pregnancy was nothing short of a miracle. He underwent transformations in utero and they both had to endure them without major injury. The fact that she was a Metamorphmagus is most likely the only reason they both survived; I imagine her body was less likely to reject the change and more likely to adapt than a regular witch’s would have been able to. The odds were greatly against you. It isn’t a matter of guilt or innocence; it is a matter of biology.”
Remus pulled his legs closer to himself, using his arms to navigate himself so that he was able to move his torso around to where they had been previously resting. He was effectively sitting in the exact opposite position Snape had set him in the tub in. He found that he was grinning to himself; it was amazing to be able to move, even if it was only in the water. He turned to look at Severus, who was right beside him now.
“You may very well be right, sir, but it doesn’t take that feeling away.”
“Perhaps not; however, it is true whether you choose to believe it or not,” Severus said.
Remus hid a smile; Severus had always been so serious, so black and white, ever since he had first known him at the age of eleven. He set his hand on Snape’s arm, the gesture made more impactful based off of their current state of undress.
“Regardless of all of that, thank you master. You made my son feel better tonight, and me too, I think.” Remus turned his body towards Severus, reveling again in the fact that he was able to move it around so easily without help. Using his grip on Snape’s arm for purchase he pulled himself closer, leaning against the wall of the tub.
“He needed to hear it; there is no reason he should continue on through life thinking if only he were somehow better it wouldn’t have happened. There’s no reason you should think that either.”
Remus blinked, moving his arm from Snape’s arm to his pectoral, his whole body pressed up against the stoic man’s side. He felt that what he was doing was wildly inappropriate and something that put him greatly at risk whether or not his master could fuck him at the moment. He knew from the discussions after hours at Order headquarters that the man was capable of heartless atrocities; but at the same time was known to carry out acts of courage and surprising compassion. He moved his hand across Severus’ chest so that his palm was resting on his far shoulder. Severus was still sitting regularly in the tub; whereas he was on his side, almost partway on top of the other man.
Remus didn’t stop to think about it, he moved forward and brushed his lips against his master’s, his other hand finding its way to rest tentatively on his master’s neck. He couldn’t help second guessing himself, pulling back to try and catch a glimpse of Severus’ expression.
Snape looked down at him with his eyebrows raised only a little, no scowl was seen on his face. He impulsively wrapped his arm around Remus’ slim waist and rolled the smaller man on top of him a little more. Almost at the same time he brought their mouths back together, his fingers sliding low on Lupin’s tailbone.
Remus brought his hands up so one was around his master’s neck and the other was resting at the base of his jaw; his body sliding easily across Snape’s almost without even meaning to, the potion made the water more slick than was normal. He was relieved Severus had reacted in this fashion instead of getting angry at his audacity. When Snape trailed a chain of sloppy kisses from his lips, to his chin, slowly down his neck and ending with a light nibble on his collarbone it nearly undid him. Remus moaned without meaning to, pressing his hardening length lightly into his master’s leg. He laid a kiss on Severus’ chest, looking up at him with foggy eyes.
Snape set a hand firmly on his shoulder. “You don’t have to use your body as a tool for expressing your gratitude, you know,” the brewer stated, wondering if Remus wasn’t just a little high to be doing these things with completely informed consent.
Remus thought about how his advance must look to the other man and wondered if he wasn’t right. “That isn’t my intent, sir. I just want to please you somehow, in return for how you’ve treated me and my son.” Wait, that was what Severus just told him not to do.
“I am not able to have an erection until the bonding, or it will not be able to be delayed until you are completely healed.”
Remus fuzzily recalled hearing that before, a few times when he thought about it. Hell, Snape had just told him that again tonight! Was that healing potion getting to his brain, or was it the mind numbing relaxation of the medicated water? “I may have forgotten that, sir,” Remus said sorrowfully, shaking his head as if to try and clear it. He went to move away, but Snape’s arm didn’t relinquish its hold on his stomach.
“That’s no reason for us both to be frustrated, is it?” Severus asked him in a velvety voice before kissing Remus again. “Here,” he said, guiding the other man so he was basically sitting on his lap, the other man was reclined against his chest, his head on his shoulder. This was another opportunity to move their physical experiences further, and he had to take it. The ritual was nearing, no matter how he tried to tell himself there was time.
Severus brought his mouth down to the curve of Remus’ neck teasing the tender skin with his teeth and tongue while pinching his nipple under the water, rolling it between his thumb and index finger until it was a firm ball. His other hand travelled lower, fingers working their way past Lupin’s hips and on to discover the hard length of his cock. His own thigh twitched and his balls pulsed, but he knew he wouldn’t actually get hard even though his breathing was already heavy. Remus’ moan went straight to his groin; frustration would be the least of his problems.
Lupin was lost in the moment; he pushed himself against Severus’ body, loving the feeling of so much skin against his own. He was still covered in scars, the potion not having worked its magic yet, but Severus didn’t seem to notice, his mouth moving attentively over the worst of them on his shoulder. Remus brought his arm backward so his fingers could curl around the back of Severus’ neck, being mindful of his bandages. He gasped as Snape wound his fingers around his member, sliding up and down it in firm strokes through the slippery water, fighting the urge to buck up into the pressure of his hand.
Lupin’s hips twitched forward, his grip on Severus’ neck and arm tightened. Severus took this as a good sign. Moving his lips up to encircle Remus’ earlobe, he twisted his wrist on his upward caresses of Remus’ cock so his palm would rub against the sensitive head, his other hand sliding down to fondle his balls. He heard Lupin panting lightly, stifling the occasional groan the best he could.
Remus couldn’t believe how Severus’ tongue on his earlobe was driving him wild, he bit back whatever noises would come from his lips, self-conscious about his sounds of pleasure. Snape seemed to be reading his mind as he pulled his lips away, exposing the damp flesh to the cooler air of the bathroom.
He spoke into Remus’ ear, his voice soft but rough, “Let it out, Remus; let me hear you.” The weight of the other man’s body on his own was wonderful, he could feel the curve of his arse pressed up against his groin. In the position they were in there was little of Remus’ body that he couldn’t touch or see. Watching Remus twitch and jerk and writhe as he tried to wring every drop of pleasure from him was sinfully enticing.
Remus groaned aloud at the sound of Snape’s voice and the warmth of his words against his ear. He almost regretted that Severus’ hardness wasn’t pressing against his bottom; the other man seemed to be aroused, but of course that potion wouldn’t allow him to experience it fully. He, however, was in full blown ecstasy, Snape’s hand sliding over his body and his cock in that hot water was past exhilarating
Snape made an answering sound in his throat, his hands never stopping their pumping and squeezing motions under the water. The way Lupin was reacting, he couldn’t be far from completion. He firmed is grip, splaying his hand over Remus chest and holding him close as Remus’ breathy sounds of enjoyment were heard near his ear. He latched his mouth onto the juncture between the other man’s shoulder and neck as he came pulsing into the water with an uninhibited exclamation.
He pressed his nose into the hollow behind Remus’ ear, stroking him as he rode out wave after wave of his orgasm. When he was spent, Lupin’s body lay lax on top of his own; head reclined on his shoulder as he tried to get his breathing under control. With a wave of his hand, Snape banished Remus’ ejaculate from the water, not finding it conducive to their washing up.
He held onto Remus for a few moments longer, in no hurry to move him, his arms wrapped loosely around the man’s middle. He moved one of them to grab a washcloth, setting it to soak in the water beside him while he maneuvered to open a bottle of soap, pouring some onto the cloth and running it down Remus’ arm.
Lupin jumped; he’d nearly been falling asleep, his body still pressed up against Severus’. He wasn’t sure he could move, his body feeling completely boneless. The rough texture of the washcloth against his now sensitive skin was intense, but in a way he rather liked. He didn’t know what to expect from Severus now, but that the man would still spend the time to tend to his body after another unreciprocated orgasm wasn’t something he’d say he’d been expecting.
“Sir?” he asked, his voice a bit raspy from their recent encounter.
“Yes?” Severus responded, continuing his ministrations with the washcloth, seeming intent to scrub every part of Remus’ body at least once with its soapy material.
“Sir; do you find me physically attractive?” Remus asked.
“Yes; I always have,” Severus replied. Perhaps he should just have stopped at ‘yes’.
Always? “When you’re… touching me, do you feel arousal even with the potion in your system?” Remus asked. He hoped not, or Severus would likely be quite sexually vexed by the time they bonded. He wondered what the release of all that pent up desire would be like for the recipient of it and tried not to dwell on Snape’s endowment or the damage he could easily cause with it.
“Very much so,” Severus said, moving the cloth across Lupin’s abdomen. “The potion doesn’t inhibit anything except my erection. I still feel attraction and desire under its influence.”
“I see…” Remus said; his concern apparent.
Severus was silent for a moment. “You are concerned with what this bottled up desire will be like to experience?”
“I- I’m trying to trust you sir,” Remus said plaintively, wanting to make that clear.
“That’s all I can ask of you. I haven’t been …intimate with anyone in many years, Remus. A few more days aren’t going to change anything; I can be an incredibly patient man when I wish to be.”
“I couldn’t help but notice sir…” Remus trailed off, wishing that damned potion let him inhibit what he said.
“What?” Severus urged gently.
“Your size sir; you’re-” Remus stumbled over the awkwardness of what he was trying to say, wishing he wasn’t trying to say it at all.
“Larger than average?” Severus supplied in a voice he hoped wasn’t too sarcastic.
“You could say that sir. You could also say that you’re bloody huge,” Remus blushed.
“I am accustomed to topping with the lovers I choose,” Severus said, trying to keep any harshness from his voice and never stopping the motions of the soapy cloth across Lupin’s body. “I have never intentionally hurt any of them that way.”
“Well I’m not exactly your lover,” Remus said, noting that Snape didn’t say he hadn’t unintentionally hurt any of his past partners. “There are no rules to what you can and can’t do to me.” His face twisted. “You must have heard Harry – I’m just your dirty sock. As long as you don’t throw me in the rubbish bin when you’re done with me you’re being kind.” He wasn’t sure what to make of these words coming from his own mouth.
“Potter was out of line, as usual,” Snape said in a snappy voice, feeling anger over Potter’s actions and words all over again. “He was also mistaken; in no way do I see you as something so vulgar or worthless. That he would say those words to you lowers my opinion of him greatly; no small feat, I assure you.”
“I’m sorry, sir. I shouldn’t have mentioned it at all.” Remus felt awful, he didn’t want Severus to think poorly of him because of his worries and suspicions.
“No, it needs discussing; however I understand that the things I say to you are just words with actions remaining to be seen. Have I caused you to feel that way so far?” Severus suddenly thought to ask.
“No sir, far from it. You make me feel like you think I’m worthwhile,” Remus said.
“Perhaps because that is what I actually think,” Severus said. He set down the cloth, took up his wand and levitated Lupin from the tub, casting a drying spell on him and seating him in his chair. He then raised himself from the water, stepping out of and draining the tub before casting the same drying spell over himself.
The bathroom air was humid but becoming chill; Severus helped Remus into a clean set of underwear and sleeping pants, wrapping a robe around his bare shoulders and tucking it around his sides. He then dressed himself in a similar set of attire and levitated the chair back into his main chambers.
It had been quite a day, from start to finish. Remus looked like he was almost asleep sitting up. Severus pulled back the covers and assisted him out of the housecoat, levitating him into the bed and covering him up. Soon he would be healed enough to do all of this for himself. He imagined Lupin would be even happier than he would about it.
He wondered what the next day would bring as he climbed in beside the other man, who was already breathing evenly.
A/N: There ya go; told you I’d try and not leave that next update too long! Hope you enjoyed it, more to come soon as always. I can’t believe how long this story is getting; thank you again for all of your wonderful responses, they keep me going!
Let me know your thoughts; this is the first time I’ve written anything like this, so please be kind! lol
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The Long Road