Yuletide Blessing in Disguise | By : Gandalfs-Beard Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Harry/Hermione Views: 123768 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 10 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any related properties--all rights belong to Rowling. Nor do I make any money from the production of this work. |
The Weight
Professor McGonagall narrowly eyed Professor Snape’s annoyingly nearly placid features all through dinner, certain from the twitching muscle on his temple that they were a facade to cover his anger at Harry Potter. Every so often he glanced at Potter and the barest hint of sneer hovered about his lips.
For her part, McGonagall was pleased that Potter was putting on a brave face and making the best of a bad situation, what with Rita Skeeter’s latest attempt to smear his reputation. At least in regards to most of the school, the attempt had failed rather spectacularly, judging by the show that Granger, Potter, and their friends were putting on for the benefit of the Slytherins.
She would be enjoying the performance almost as much as the headmaster was if she weren’t so aggravated with Severus Snape’s apparent skirting of Dumbledore’s admonition preceding the Christmas Holidays.
McGonagall considered approaching Dumbledore again, but then decided to tackle Severus herself. Following the feast, McGonagall quickly wiped her lips with a napkin and hastened after the Potions Master, catching up with him before he exited the Great Hall.
“Severus,” she called out, gesturing to the door of one of the anterooms, “a word if you please.”
“If you insist, Minerva,” said Snape silkily as he followed her inside.
“Well,” said McGonagall sharply as soon as the door shut, muffling the rumble of the foosteps of the throng heading for their dorms, “Ninety points vanished from Gryffindor yesterday afternoon around the time of Mr. Potter’s double period in Potions. I don’t suppose you know anything about that?”
“It had nothing to do with Potter - not directly in any case,” Snape’s dark eyes glittered cagily. “Granger and the rest of Potter’s little... friends were disrupting the class. No doubt delighted to find themselves the centre of attention.”
“Really? Is that so? ... And if I were to suggest that you had been taunting them by reading aloud from Skeeter’s hit-piece, and deliberately targeting them for reprisal what might you say to that?”
McGonagall caught the flicker of doubt in Snape’s eyes and felt vindicated, knowing that her inference had struck a nerve. But the doubt was replaced immediately by a look of defiance.
“Given the, ah, one hundred and seventy points deducted from Slytherin over a harmless prank following the Second Task, surely you are not worried about losing the House Cup this year, Minerva.”
“Hmm...” McGonagall’s lips grew thinner and her tone even colder. “As I recall that ‘harmless prank’ resulted in a brawl involving seven of your students and four of mine, and a fifty points loss from Gryffindor as well. ... Be that as it may, if I hear that you have been wasting your class’s time instead of teaching Potions again, the headmaster shall hear of it.”
“Do what you must, Minerva,” said Snape, “Now, if you don’t mind, my bed awaits.”
“By all means, Severus.” McGonagall scowled at the backside of the Potions Master as he flounced out of the anteroom in a swirl of black robes.
~o0o~
Harry felt loads better the next day when his bandages came off - and that was good because Professor Moody seemed keen on getting back to training as soon as possible. Moody held him and Hermione back at the end of Defence Against the Dark Arts while the other students filed out of the classroom. Ron, Neville, Lavender, and Parvati looked like they wanted to stay but one glare from Moody sent them all packing.
“Right then, Potter,” Professor Moody growled, his mad eye boring into Harry, “Heard about your run-in with Snape and Karkaroff, and that you want some answers. Ye wanna know if Snape’s in cahoots with Voldemort - is that about the size of it?”
“Er... Yeah,” said Harry, gulping nervously at the menacing looking ex-Auror and wondering if Moody was about to berate him for being too nosy.
“I can’t tell you more’n I know, Potter,” said Moody gruffly, “but I suppose ye’ve got a right t’know some of it. ... Yeah - Snape used t’be a Death Eater, then he switched sides for some reason that I can’t figure. ... Karkaroff, I get him - I don’t trust him, but I get him - he got a deal for sellin’ out other Death Eaters, an’ there’s no way he wants to risk gettin’ chucked back in Azkaban or in Nurmengard, and there’s no way he wants to get back with Voldemort.
“But Dumbledore said Snape turned spy for our side a bit before the end o’ things last time, an’ he trusts Snape - and I’m buggered if I know why. If you ask me, Dumbledore’s too trusting for his own good - believes in second chances, no matter how bad the firs’ chance was. Me - I don’t trust anyone with a Dark Mark - some spots just don’t wash off.
“Snape may’ve truly come around, I don’t know. But I’ve seen how he is around you, Potter - he’s got it in for you bad! There’s something still rotten to the core about him whether he really switched sides or not.
“Now, I know that ain’t much comfort, me not knowin’ if Snape can be trusted. In the end, all I c’n say is that Dumbledore trusts him completely for some ungodly reason, an’ that I’ve got my eye on him. Me and Tonks an’ everyone else - and yeah, even Dumbledore - we’ve all got your back Potter.
“That doesn’t mean you should let your guard down - constant vigilance is your best friend, an’ if you see anything else suspicious, don’t hesitate to let me know. ... Don’t bother with Dumbledore though, he won’t take kindly to suspicions against Snape - jus’ tell me or Tonks, or McGonagall. We’ll check things out and if we find there’s anything to it, we’ll light a fire under Dumbledore’s arse - alright?”
“Er... yeah, okay,” said Harry when it seemed like Moody was finished.
He still felt unsettled - it was hard not to with Moody being so uncertain about Snape himself. But at least he knew for certain that Dumbledore knew about Snape and that Dumbledore believed in Snape. That was something - not much, but something. Harry shot a glance at Hermione, who actually looked a bit more shaken if anything.
“Anyway,” said Moody after giving Harry a moment to absorb things, “we’ll be gettin’ back to training you and Granger up startin’ Friday evening, Potter. You should have all your strength back by then - should be enough time after healin’ up from that nasty business at the end o’ the Second Task...”
Harry was surprised when Moody suddenly broke into an ugly grin.
“Speakin’ o’ which, I really haven’t taken the time to congratulate you yet, Potter. That was a nice bit o’ work you did on the Second Task - you held your own against a sea-serpent and assassins, and as far as I’m concerned you’re the one who shoulda won it after dealin’ with a whole heap more than any of the other Champions had to face.”
Harry gaped in astonishment at Moody. His trepidation about Snape was temporarily replaced with no small amount of gratification; Harry couldn’t help feeling a swell of achievement to have earned such high praises from Professor Moody. Harry had to admit that he had been a bit less than happy with his performance in the Second Task. It had been a real blow to his confidence to have come so close to snuffing it, and all the “Secret Harem” business had in many ways been a welcome distraction and a bit of an ego boost.
Feeling generally better, Harry departed the Defence classroom with Hermione at his side and a note for Professor Flitwick explaining why they were late for Charms.
“Wow, I can’t believe it,” said Harry, grinning. “Moody actually thinks I should have won the Second Task!”
“He’s not wrong,” said Hermione, giving Harry a peck on the cheek, “you were amazing!”
But Harry noticed that she looked a bit distracted and disturbed.
“Er... you alright Hermione?”
Hermione frowned hesitantly.
“I’m not sure,” she said after a moment. “I thought we’d get something a bit more definitive about Professor Snape...”
“You thought we’d get more proof that Snape was definitely on our side, didn’t you?”
“Yes, actually, to be perfectly honest,” Hermione sighed. “It’s not that I don’t trust Dumbledore’s judgment - I do, though perhaps a bit less - okay, more than a bit less since I found out how rotten your aunt and uncle were to you - but Professor Moody is an ex-Auror. I know loads of people think he’s paranoid, but he’s had lots of good reasons to be, hasn’t he?
“I would think that his instincts about these sorts of things are pretty sharp. What he said about Karkaroff made perfect sense, for example. Even though Professor Moody doesn’t trust him either, he can be very certain that Karkaroff isn’t a Death Eater anymore.”
“So, are you saying you think Snape could actually be working for Voldemort now?”
Harry was genuinely surprised at Hermione’s change of heart, especially as he himself was feeling slightly better knowing that Dumbledore trusted Snape. Not a hundred percent by any means, but Harry’s estimation had definitely swung over a bit more to that side of things than they were before.
“The problem is, without knowing Professor Snape’s reasons for switching sides, we can’t rule anything out. And you heard Professor Moody - it looks like Neville and Ron were right about not going straight to Dumbledore with this, and I’m really not sure what to make of that...” Hermione scowled.
“If Dumbledore is absolutely certain that Snape is on his side, then why wouldn’t he at least tell Professor Moody how he knows? You would think, seeing as he hired Moody and obviously knew that Moody didn’t trust Snape, that he would have told Moody so that Moody wouldn’t be wasting his time and effort keeping an eye on Snape as well.”
“Unless...” Hermione’s brows furrowed; she looked more agitated and disconcerted than ever. “Unless Dumbledore wants Moody to keep an eye on Snape too! ... Maybe Dumbledore isn’t so sure about Snape anymore, or maybe he doesn’t want to take any chances - either way, it would mean that Dumbledore doesn’t trust Snape completely.”
“Oh!”
Harry wasn’t sure how he felt about things now. It was one thing for he himself to still be suspicious of Snape, but the idea of Dumbledore’s certitude had nonetheless been somewhat reassuring; but if Hermione was more questioning too...
“Well, at least you’re just as paranoid as me now. I feel loads better!” he said only half-jokingly.
Hermione huffed irritably and rolled her eyes as she trod heavily beside him, her footsteps echoing in the empty stone corridor. Harry instantly felt a bit guilty.
“Here, give me that,” he said, reaching out his hand.
“What?”
“Your bookbag. I can carry it for you,” said Harry earnestly.
“But it’s heavy...”
“That’s why I want to carry it for you.”
“But you’ve got your own,” said Hermione, looking even more annoyed. “And yours is just as heavy!”
“Yes, but I’ve been living with the weight of everything for years,” said Harry quietly. “I can handle it.”
“Oh!” Hermione’s brown eyes widened with understanding, the irritation fading from her features. “That’s very sweet of you Harry, but really, I’m fine.”
“Please! Let me!” Harry begged. “I’m sorry - I didn’t mean to tease you! ... I’m just so used to dealing with the idea that people are out to get me and not always knowing who to trust that I kind of forget about it half the time when I’m not feeling paranoid the other half of the time. ... I didn’t really think about how awful it must be to have that sort of feeling if you’ve never really had it before.”
“Well...” Hermione’s eyelashes fluttered as she gave Harry a shy little smile. “...It’s not quite the first time...”
“Yeah, I know,” Harry nodded and smiled back sheepishly. “You were right about Sirius sending me the Firebolt even though he turned out not to be a maniac killer, and I know how worried you were for me... and you’ve been putting up with all the rubbish that comes with being my friend since First Year. But still... it’s not really the same, is it?”
“No, it’s not,” Hermione admitted ruefully, lifting the bookbag from her shoulder. “Being worried for you certainly isn’t new, but not being sure about who I can trust is! ... In First Year, after your first quidditch match, I was so sure Snape was trying to do you in, and then after First Year I was so sure that he wasn’t.
“There was never really any uncertainty in-between. ... I’m sorry too, Harry. Even though I’ve always beenhorribly worried for you, you’re always so brave about things that I still sometimes forget how horrible it must be from your perspective - never really knowing what’s going on - always trying to figure things out for yourself. It’s more than anyone your age should have to bear.
“Honestly, I don’t know how you manage it, Harry - the uncertainty about Snape after it turned out to be Quirrell - not knowing who the Heir of Slytherin was - finding out about Peter Pettigrew after he’d been under your nose the entire time - Barty Crouch Junior - always wondering if another teacher is possessed or another one of Voldemort’s minions - never being quite sure if you can trust Dumbledore...”
“It’s not like that, Hermione,” Harry interjected quickly. “I do trust Dumbledore! I always did! It’s just... he waited a bit longer to tell me things than I’d have liked him to - I wish he’d told me everything at the end of First Year when I first asked him. ... But yeah - I wish I knew what’s up with Snape, and all the other stuff you just said gets to me sometimes too.”
“That’s just it Harry” said Hermione, “what you said - it just hit a nerve! ... You were right - I am more ‘paranoid’ now. ... Like I said - I’m not so sure how much to trust Dumbledore’s judgment about Snape anymore, especially given his lack of judgment regarding your relatives.
“Yes - I still trust Dumbledore by and large - especially as he’s done so much to look after you since we found out Crouch Junior - but I can’t be sure now that he’s always the best judge of character when it comes to determining which awful people deserve second chances.”
“Yeah, well... No argument from me on that score,” Harry sighed, reaching out his hand to take Hermione’s bookbag. “Now come on, hand it over.”
“My hero!” Hermione smiled at Harry as he slung her bag over his shoulder along with his own, and gave him a kiss on the cheek. She took his arm, noting that Harry was remarkably light on his feet despite the weight on his shoulders as they traipsed through the nearly empty stone corridors to Charms...
~o0o~
It was after classes, during the little party celebrating Ron’s birthday at one end of the common room when a tan and white barn owl appeared outside one of the windows nearest to their table. The owl was flapping its wings mightily as it struggled to maintain position in the cruel wind whipping around the castle.
“Oh, the poor little thing,” said Lavender as she reached over and opened the window.
The grateful barn owl hopped on the table past Lavender and Parvati, narrowly avoiding stepping in Ron’s birthday cake, and tried to straighten out a few of its wonky feathers. Then it peered around the table looking for the recipient of the small parcel it was carrying.
“Something for me?” said Ron hopefully, his eyes lighting up.
“Er... It might be for me, actually,” said Harry, turning a bit pink; the barn owl looked familiar to him.
“Oh,” said Ron, looking vaguely disappointed.
Sure enough, as soon as the owl spotted Harry it hopped across the table and held out its talon. Harry undid the little parcel tied to its claw and gave it a slice of birthday cake. The owl greedily gobbled the cake getting crumbs everywhere while Harry eyed the package from “Snuffles,” not sure if he should open it at the table. Harry had almost forgotten that Sirius had promised to send him a package as it had been several weeks now since the fireside chat.
“Who’s it from, Harry?” asked Neville.
“Oh, er...”
Harry quickly tried to think of something to tell everyone; even though Minister Fudge and the head of the DMLE had rescinded the arrest warrant for Sirius, they were still holding off on issuing an exoneration of all charges against him until they had a bit more evidence than Barty Crouch Junior’s confession to prove that Pettigrew was still alive and working for Voldemort.
“...from an old friend of my mum and dad’s,” was the best that Harry could come up with on the spot.
“Oh!” Ron’s eyes widened in sudden understanding, all disappointment vanishing. “You shoug’openit‘arry,” he mumbled through a mouthful of birthday cake.
“You sure?” Harry shot Ron an apologetic look. “I can stay a bit and open it later.”
“‘S’okay, Harry!” Ron hastily swallowed the rest of the cake in his mouth and nodded. “Really! I’m fine - I’ll see you at dinner...”
“If you’ve got any room for dinner left,” said Ginny with a grin. “That’s your third piece of cake, Ron.”
“Thanks Ron,” said Harry, feeling relieved and glancing around the table at everyone. “Er... see you guys later then.”
“Enjoy the rest of your birthday, Ron,” said Hermione as she pushed her chair out to join Harry. She smirked a bit at Ron who was already going for a fourth piece of cake.
Once back in his own quarters, sitting on the little sofa in the sitting room by the crackling fire with Hermione, Harry began to carefully undo the thick wrapping paper to reveal wads of crumpled tissue. Curiouser than ever, he began ripping at the tissue and was surprised to see a small mirror.
“Huh!” Harry scratched his head as he peered into it, seeing his own green eyes and feeling a bit puzzled. “I thought this was supposed to be a way to get in touch with Sirius. What am I supposed to do with this?”
Hermione bit her lip, pensively furrowing her brows.
“Try saying Sirius’s name,” she suggested after thinking a moment.
“Oh, er, alright!” Harry felt a bit silly speaking to a mirror and tried pretending it was a walkie-talkie. “Er... Sirius, you there? ... Come in, over.”
Nothing! Not even static! Harry glanced at Hermione for help.
Hermione shrugged. “If Sirius has one too, he may not be right by his at the moment. Try again, and if there’s still no answer, you can try again in a little bit. You could also try leaving a message.”
“Like a telephone answering machine?” said Harry skeptically, thinking of the device that Uncle Vernon had attached to the phone in his home office for work calls.
“Why not?” said Hermione. “It’s a magic mirror for communication, right? But you can’t expect someone to be at the other end all the time - it would be a bit odd if it didn’t have that feature if you ask me.”
Harry made a little “Hmm” face and nodded.
“Yeah - you’re right, Hermione! That would be weird if it didn’t. ... Okay, here goes again.” Harry cleared his throat and took a deep breath. “Hey, Sirius, it’s me, Harry! ... Dunno if you can hear me or not - and I dunno if this thing takes messages - but, er... if it does - call me?”
Harry sort of cringed at the end, feeling stupider than ever, and he was about to put the mirror down and try to forget about it for an hour when he heard what sounded like a scrabbling sound. To his astonishment, the reflection in the mirror flickered and he briefly saw what looked like dark wood paneling before Sirius’s beaming face appeared.
“Sirius!” Harry nearly shouted, grinning. “It worked! Brilliant!”
“Yeah, it’s something isn’t it,” said Sirius. “I’m sorry I didn’t send it sooner - I thought I knew where it was - turfed out my whole room looking for it but I still couldn’t find it. So I’ve been cleaning up the basement and the attic the last couple of weeks, and finally I found it in my old school trunk under a pile of boxes in the attic...”
“Is that Harry?” asked another familiar voice from the other side of the mirror.
“It’s him alright - he finally got it,” said Sirius, looking off to the side.
“Lupin?” gasped Harry. “Professor Lupin’s with you too?”
The face which appeared just behind Sirius’s shoulder answered Harry’s question.
“I can’t say I’m doing much professoring these days Harry,” said Lupin wryly. “Remus will do, if that’s alright with you.”
“Er... yeah, great! No problem... Remus!” Harry couldn’t believe it and the excitement he felt at seeing Sirius again doubled to see Lupin as well. “So, what are you doing at Sirius’s place?”
“Helping him clean it up,” Remus replied, his moustache twitching mirthfully “It’s filthy here...”
“That’s putting it kindly,” said Sirius, chuckling. “Anyway, is that Hermione I see with you, Harry?”
Harry felt Hermione’s curls spilling over his shoulder as she leaned in to peer into the mirror too.
“Hi Sirius! Hi Prof... I mean Remus!” she squeaked, giving them a little wave.
“What about the others?” asked Sirius, a roguish look in his eyes. “Where’s the rest of the harem?”
Hermione let out a little “Eep!” and she and Harry both blushed like ripe tomatoes.
Remus whacked Sirius’s shoulder. “Sirius! You said you wouldn’t tease them!”
“Sorry!” Sirius chortled. “I couldn’t resist! ... Anyway, I’m just thrilled to see you looking the picture of health, Harry! You didn’t half give us both a fright when we heard how badly you’d been injured during the Second Task! ... So spill, you have to tell us all about it, Harry - what’ve we missed? Don’t spare any details.”
Harry began to talk; Hermione curled an arm around his middle and snuggled closer to him, piping up every now and then and filling in little gaps in the information. They told Sirius and Remus everything they could think of: the Second Task, Goblin Assassins, theories about Bagman, Skeeter and the Harem stuff, and even Snape and Karkaroff and what Moody had to say about it.
And as Harry let it all out - all of his worries and his fears, and all of the good and silly bits too - he felt a huge weight lifting from his shoulders.
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