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Both Sides	By : ccino49 Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female Views: 10429 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 25
- 26
- 27
I do not own any of the characters or places from the Harry Potter books or films. They all belong to J.K. Rowling. All that is mine is Lou and the plot. I am not making any money from the writing of this story.

Both Sides.

CH 26 Better than an animagus

Although Lou now had muggle clothes, she knew Severus didn�t like them, so she dressed in the teal robes she knew he liked and settled herself in the drawing room after supper. Severus was sure to call in here and see her before the meeting.
The Gryffindors were all in the room too and Tonk�s, Kingsley and several others called in to see them. Harry, Ron and Hermione were all old enough to be in the Order and joined everyone in the kitchen when it was time to start.
She decided to wait in the hall, maybe Severus was running late.

Albus noticed her. �Lou, how are you?�

�Fine thanks, do you know what time Severus is coming?�

�He is already here, the meeting is about to start, perhaps we can chat later.�

He stepped into the kitchen and closed the door.
Lou moved closer to it, hoping to here Severus� voice.
�Your wasting your time, they put silencing spells up so we can�t hear anything.�

�Oh Ginny. You made me jump, why don�t they ever let us in there when they have these meetings?�
�Secret Order stuff, where not allowed to know what�s going on. It�s best to listen at doors for a few days after, you get to find out bits of what they said.�

Do you fancy a game of exploding snap? It�ll be hours before they come out.�
So Lou sat and played exploding snap with Ginny. She left the door open, just in case the meeting finished early, she wanted to be able to hear them leave the kitchen so she could see Severus.
�You miss him don�t you?� Ginny asked her.
�Who?�

�Professor Snape. I know you do.�

�Yeah, he�s my friend.�
�Do you miss your muggle friends too? You must. I can�t imagine leaving everyone I know and going somewhere that�s full of strangers.�

�There�s nobody to miss, as for coming here, I didn�t have a choice. Professor Snape�s the only friend I�ve got, that�s why I�m waiting down here tonight, he�s bound to want to talk to me.�
�We could be friends you know.�
Lou narrowed her eyes at Ginny. �Why would you say that? You and the others don�t even like me.

�Who said? I�ve never gotten chance to know you. Just because Ron�s my pain in the arse brother, it doesn�t mean I�m the same. I feel a bit left out myself sometimes. Those three always stick together, I feel like a hanger on most of the time. You wanna give it a try, you and me, we can be mates.�
�But what about the others, they might not like it if you ��

�Lou, they do not rule my life. I only hang around with them here or at the Burrow because all my friends are home for the holidays. I can teach you how to do a Bat Bogie hex.�
Lou started to laugh. �A what?� Then she turned serious. �Ginny, I�d like to have a friend, but apart from se �Professor Snape, I�ve never really had one before, I don�t know what to do.�
�You don�t have to do anything silly, we just hang out, tell each other things, if you want to that is. If one of us has a problem, we tell the other, we moan about boys and see which ones we fancy, who we want to get off with, stuff like that.�
�Err, I don�t want to get off with any boys.�

�Oh. Well if your into girls, that�s okay. So long as you know I prefer boys.�

�No.� Lou said, shocked. �I didn�t mean that, I just meant that I don�t want to get off with anyone.�
�Why not? Is it the Professor, have you got the hots for him?�

�Ginny, no I haven�t. I haven�t got the hots for anyone.� Lou told her as she blushed.
Ginny grinned, a knowing look in her eye. �Yeah right, and Remus doesn�t howl at the full moon. It�s okay you know, I had a crush on Remus all last summer. Not that he knew about it.�
The girls sat and chatted for the next couple of hours until Ginny started to yawn. She told Lou she still had a letter to write to her boyfriend and would see her tomorrow.
After saying goodnight, a somewhat happier Lou went to sit on the third stair and wait for the meeting to end.
At 2 am, Albus was first to leave the kitchen. He saw Lou asleep on the stairs and, drawing Severus to one side, he told him. �Is she still writing to you Severus?�

�She is, and I have not replied. I was hoping she would give up, but so far she has not. That bird of hers arrives every other day without fail. It is very difficult Headmaster. The Dark Lord has finally accepted that I am not a traitor. Well, he is giving me the benefit of the doubt for now, but I cannot afford to be emotionally involved with her, should the Dark Lord get so much as an inkling that I care about someone, you know he will target her straight away. He still has Deatheaters check regularly around Spinners End, looking for a muggle boy. The one he believes took down Malfoy and McNair. It took quite a lot of convincing that I did not know who he was. It is imperative that she makes a clean break from me, starts to make friends her own age.�

�I know Severus, but understand, this is difficult for her. You are, I believe, the first person she has ever trusted. She has allowed you to witness every aspect of her past life, shown you parts of herself that she cannot bear to look at herself. She will feel betrayed.�
�You think I don�t know that.� Severus hissed. �I hate this Albus, hate what I am doing to her, but it must be done. Better she feels betrayed by me, grows to hate me, than have the Dark Lord on her back. He will take great pleasure in killing her slowly should he ever get his hands on her. You know that as well as I.�
He left quietly, leaving Albus to arrange Lou�s sleeping arrangements.
When Kingsley picked her up to carry her upstairs, Lou woke with a start.
�What �what are you doing? Put me down.�

�I was about to carry you to your room. You fell asleep on the stairs.�

�Oh, sorry. I wasn�t really sleeping, I was waiting for Professor Snape. I need to talk to him, is he coming out?�

�I�m sorry Lou, he already left.�

�No. He wouldn�t do that, he �I �when did he go? Call him back, please.�

�Lou he left about ten minutes ago, he is long gone.�
�Did he leave a message then? When is he coming back?�
�No message that I am aware of, as for when he will return, we do not know. Lou you really should get to bed, and tomorrow, begin making new friends.�
�No.� She hurried into the drawing room, asking everyone if Professor Snape left a message for her, did they know when he was coming back, was he okay, did he ask about her?
But no one could tell her anything. Most said the same as Kingsley, that she should go to bed and not worry about Professor Snape.

She found this all very confusing. Why did they keep telling her to stop worrying about him? Had something happened to him? Was something going to happen to him? Why didn�t he wake her up before he left? He must have seen her on the stairs when he was leaving.

Dear Severus

I waited for you all last night when you were at the meeting. Why didn�t you wake me before you left? I was looking forward to seeing you, I even wore robes because I know you hate muggle clothes. You forgot to leave a message for me with one of the other members. How�s your business going, have you nearly finished? Are you coming back soon?

Guess what? Ginny said she wanted to be my friend. It wont be like it is with you, but at least I�ll have someone to talk to while your away busy. I hope you come back soon.
Your friend
Lou

The following day, several strange owls arrived at number 12. Validus had already returned without a reply from Severus, so Lou hoped that one of these might be from him. The others were always getting letters, she�d not had one yet.
�Lou, letter for you dear.� Molly told her as she passed identical ones to Ginny, Ron, Hermione and Harry.
Lou grabbed the letter excitedly, banging her leg hard on the edge of the table in her eagerness to get to it and tearing the seal without even looking at it.
Her face fell when she discovered it was a letter from Hogwarts. It contained a list of what she would need when she started school. She rubbed at her leg and headed upstairs.

Dear Severus

I got a letter today from Hogwarts. I thought for a moment it was from you. There�s loads of stuff I need to buy before I can start school. Are you coming back soon so we can go get everything? I promise I�ll behave in Madam Malkins. Ginny said her mums taking us, but I told her I wouldn�t be going with them because you would be coming to take me.

I can�t wait to see you. Have you got a sun tan? I haven�t, I burn if I stay out in the sun too long and end up looking like a lobster. (ha ha)

Let me know when you�re arriving and I�ll be ready.
Your friend
Lou

Miss Black

You are to tell Mrs Weasley that you will accompany her to Diagon Alley, to purchase the items necessary for Hogwarts. It is unlikely that I shall be returning to number 12. It is also entirely probable that I shall not be returning to my position at Hogwarts.

You must stop sending letters to me, it is not appropriate that we correspond and I have more important things to than correspond with you. I have left instructions that any further missives sent by you be returned immediately.

I am pleased that you have decided to begin making friends with those nearer your age. Remember that you wish the hat to place you in Ravenclaw.

A reply to this missive will not be required.
SS

Potions Master

Lou read that letter over and over. Why did he call her Miss Black. Why couldn�t she write to him any more? Why did he sign it SS? Why didn�t he put friend? Didn�t he want to be her friend any more? He wasn�t coming back here, and he might not be going back to the school. Why? She cried herself to sleep clutching the letter.
When she woke, the letter had gone, spelled to disappear shortly after it was read. She dashed downstairs, Mr Lupin would know what to do, he�d know why Severus wasn�t coming back.
�I�m sorry Lou, Remus won�t be back for a couple of weeks, anything I can help with?�

�No thanks Mrs Weasley. Oh wait, can I still go with you to get my school things, Professor Snape can�t make it.�
�Of course dear, we�re going tomorrow. Be up nice and early, I want to get there before it gets too busy. And make sure to bring your list with you.� She called, as Lou headed back to her room.
Lou desperately wanted to write to Severus, ask him all the questions that were going through her mind. But what was the point, he wouldn�t reply, and he�d made it clear he didn�t want her to write to him again.

She stroked the soft feathers on Validus� back, the bird leaning into her hand as she did. �I opened the door and let him in Validus, why do I feel he walked out again? I�m not allowed to write to him any more. He�s not coming back you know. I think maybe he�s got new friends, nice ones, that�s why he�s not coming back. Do you think he has? He gave me the proximity chain back, before he left. I should have known then he wasn�t coming back. I hope that warlord idiot doesn�t find him again. He�s the one all these meetings are about. There�s another meeting this weekend and somehow, I�m gonna find out what�s going on. Maybe that�s why Severus wont come back, he might be scared that the Dark Lord or whoever it is, will get him.
She went down to Ginny�s room and knocked on the door.

Hermione answered. �Hello, did you want Ginny?�

�Yeah, if she�s not busy.�

Ginny came to the door and Lou asked her to come upstairs with her.

Once they were in Lou�s rooms and Ginny finished exclaiming how lovely they were, Lou asked her.

�Ginny, can you keep a secret?�
�Can I? I�m world champion when it comes to secrets. Why?�
�Will you take one of those oath thingy�s to never tell?�
Ginny narrowed her eyes. �It depends. If your gonna do something dangerous or stupid, then no.�

�No, it�s not dangerous, well not much. I might get into trouble if I�m caught, but that�s all. But I have to do something first, and I need you to keep that secret too. Please Ginny.�
�Okay, I can�t not do it. I have to know what this is all about.�

�I Ginny Weasley, promise not to tell anyone what you are about to tell me.�

�There. How�s that?�

A small swirl of magic washed over Ginny and disappeared.

�Go on then, I�m dying to hear what you�re up to.�
�There�s a meeting this weekend, and I�m gonna be in the kitchen listening.�
Ginny laughed. �You�ve got no chance, they wont let you.�

�They wont know. Ginny, I can shape shift, be anything. The trouble is, I�ve never tried to do it. It�s happened without me wanting it to, now I want to learn how to make it happen. Will you help me, tell me if I�m what I think I am when I do it. If that makes sense.�
�Erm, it kind of does. Wow. A shape shifter, they�re rare, very rare. I remember Binn�s talking about them once, there hasn�t been one for hundreds of years. Anyway, why do you want to listen in?�

�I just have to, I need to find out what this warlord blokes up to.�

�Warlord? Oh, you mean you-know-who.�
�Yeah, Voldemort or something.�

Ginny winced when Lou said his name. �So what can you change into?�

�I dunno, I don�t know how to do it, haven�t you got any books on it?�

�No, but I bet Hermione knows all about it, we could ask her, pretend it�s for a project or something.�
�Well you�ll have to ask her, I don�t think she�d want to tell me.�

�Course she would, she�s mad as hell at Ron you know, for the things he�s been saying, and she feels really bad about her part in it too. Give her a chance Lou, she�s not that bad you know, just protective over Harry.�

They ran back downstairs and Ginny barged into the bedroom. Lou stood just outside the door to wait, she didn�t like just walking in. Hermione might not like it if she did.

Suddenly her arm was grabbed and she was yanked into the room by Ginny. �Don�t stand out there, we don�t want the boys snooping.�

So Lou stood in the middle of the bedroom, feeling very uncomfortable as Hermione looked from one girl to the other.
�What?� Hermione eventually asked.
�Lou has to do an essay for Remus on shape shifters, and she hasn�t got any books about it, have you got one, or can you tell us anything about them?�
�Remus set you an essay, but did not give you any material to work with? That�s a bit odd if you ask me.� Hermione said.
�Oh come on Hermione, you know what he gets like when it�s near �well you know, he forgets things sometimes. Can we borrow the book, please?�
�We? I thought it was Lou�s essay?�

�It is, but I�m interested too, we want to work on it together.�
�Okay, but I want it back before we return to Hogwarts you two, and look after it. If you get stuck, come and see me, either of you. I�ll try and help you.� She added, looking pointedly at Lou and smiling.
Lou was a bit stunned and felt her cheeks go pink. �Thanks.� She told the older girl quietly. �I didn�t think you�d want to help, you know, me.�
�Lou, when I told you I was sorry, I meant it. Now get out you two, I�m trying to catch up on my studies.�
Lou and Ginny left with big grins on their faces, they ran back up stairs and into Lou�s bedroom. Lou sat down straight away to look at the book, while Ginny rifled through the wardrobe, looking at Lou�s clothes.

�Oh you�ve got some great stuff in here. Can I borrow some of it sometime?�

�Yeah, help yourself.� Lou told her. �It says here that I have to concentrate on what I want to be, and it should happen, what should I try to be first?�
�I dunno, something safe, an owl, like Validus. Stand here.� She stood Lou in the middle of the floor and took the book from her, quickly reading the page on shape shifting. �Now, concentrate, think owl.�
Lou did and was amazed at how easy it was.
Ginny stared in shock as Lou smoothly shifted shape and became a small brown owl. �Bloody Hell, I thought you said you couldn�t do it. Change back again.�
She did. �I �I thought it would be really hard, honest, but it wasn�t.�
�That�s better than being an animagus. Do something else.
Lou thought about Kreatcher and became Kreatcher.
�Urgh, no I don�t like that one, do a different one.�
So Lou became Moon, then she was a broom, then a puddle of water, then Lou again.
�That was so �I don�t know, but it was really good. So what are you gonna be to sneak into the meeting,? You can�t go as a broom, someone might try and fly you.�

They went into hysterics at that thought. �You could be a chair.�

�No way, I don�t want someone�s bum sat on me all evening.�
�Why not? It might be a nice bum.�

�And it might not be, and they might �fart.�
The two girls went into fits of laughter again and collapsed onto the bed.
�A shadow, that�s what I�ll be. There�s always lots of shadows in this house, on a night when the torches are lit.�
�Ooo, go on then, be a shadow.�
Lou thought about shadows and slowly lost all physical substance until she became a dark floating mass of nothingness.
�Oh that�s creepy, change back quick.� Ginny told her. �You were moving about like grey mist, it was eerie. You�ll have to practice keeping still if your gonna be a shadow, otherwise you�ll freak everybody out.�
�You think so? Maybe I should be a fly.�

�Nah, you�ll get swatted or zapped if someone gets bored and sees you.�

�A telephone then, no one here uses a telephone.�

�And you think no ones gonna notice when a telephone just happens to be in the kitchen of a house that doesn�t have a telephone. It�s just not gonna happen Lou. Go as a shadow and stay in the pantry, no one will notice you in there even if you do move. Are you hoping to see Professor Snape too?� Ginny asked her with a grin.
�No. He�s not coming back and I think it�s something to do with this Voldemort fellow. I think he�s after the Professor, maybe he�s got those Deatheaters out looking for him, I don�t know.�
�That�s not all you don�t know.� Ginny told her, the smile gone from her face. �I get to find out lots round here by keeping my ears open and my mouth shut. Professor Snape, he�s a Deatheater.�

�He is not.� Lou shouted. �Don�t you dare call him that.�

��Lou listen to me, he�s not like the rest. He is a Deatheater, but he spies for the Order. He pretends to work for �you-know-who, when really he�s on our side. At least that�s what I heard. I heard mum saying once that Professor Snape comes back in a terrible state sometimes, that you-know-who beats him and does the cruciatus on him. He nearly died quite a few times from what I gather.�
Lou was horrified. �He�s a spy? So he goes to this �him, and lets him do all kinds of awful things to him so he can spy on him? It�s not fair, why should he have to do it? Why doesn�t someone else go?�

�I dunno. That�s just what I heard.�

TBC
- 25
- 26
- 27
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