The Echoes Of Yesterday

The Echoes Of Yesterday…by Samayel


Chapter 26: A Fishing Expedition


“What do you mean he won’t see me! I just wanted to apologize to him formally! I’ve come for this ‘counseling’ bollocks you set stock in, not to be insulted by being left out in some antechamber because I’m not welcome!”

John Prewett set his jaw and tried to remember that he was dealing with a teenager, albeit a brilliant one.

“Mind your tongue! The request was Harry’s, not mine, so I’ll thank you to keep a civil tongue with me at all times! Bollocks indeed! We’ll be meeting in my office, and that’s that, and we’ve aplenty to speak of, not the least of which is your temper! Now scoot!”

“I…I’ve never been told to…to ‘scoot’ in my entire life!”

“Well, it’ll happen a lot more if you don’t start moving! NOW!”

Draco relented primarily because he knew full well that Prewett was the sole point of access to Harry Potter, and inflaming the man’s temper was accomplishing nothing at all…not to mention that Prewett was his current mentor in Harry’s absence, and could easily make Draco’s time at Hogwarts less savory than it already was. That didn’t stop him from sneering irritably while he stomped into Prewett’s office and flopped onto one of the seats with a scowl.

“Fine. I’m here. It’s counseling. Counsel me. Whatever.”

“Hmmph! Your first problem is that you still think of this as some form of arcane punishment! My part in this isn’t to punish you, or even directly help you. The idea is to help you help yourself. That’s why it’s called counseling instead of helping! Would you like something to drink? Juice, tea, water?”

Draco bristled a little, then relented. What harm could come of getting comfortable? He had to get through this anyway. A glass of water wouldn’t hurt.

“Water. That’s all. Thank you. So…if you aren’t helping me, then what are you doing. How is this supposed to produce any worthwhile effect?”

John Prewett eased himself into the chair opposite Draco, nursing a cup of tea for himself.

“Ahhh. Well, I suppose I can start from the beginning, since it’s our first meeting and you seem completely confounded by this. To be frank, most people take issue with certain things in their lives. Occasionally, there may be more issues than people can cope with effectively at one time, or the issues in question may be so significant that a person or persons just can’t manage them well on their own. The idea behind counseling to introduce a certain level of introspection and self examination to the process, via a neutral party…specifically myself. What I think you need to understand is that, by participating in this, there is no admission of something being wrong with you.

A lot of people have the mistaken notion that, if they can’t deal with their stresses and problems well on their own, that it’s some sort of failing on their part. A flaw of character. This is entirely untrue. The truth is that the overwhelming majority of people can benefit from even a small amount of casual counseling…pre-assuming that they actually enter into it with the goal of gaining something from the experience.

To prove my point, I’ll make a concession and tell you something entirely personal, but relevant, especially since you shouldn’t look on me as a judge of some kind. My purpose here is to help you develop a solid grasp of the issues which seem to challenge you. It only seems fair to share my experiences and thoughts with you, since I’ll be expecting you to share yours.”

Draco sipped his water, eying the man suspiciously. Prewett was entirely reasonable in his tone, but Draco just couldn’t shake the feeling that he was being led down a path to an obvious conclusion.

“Okay. Fair enough.”

“Well, let me first say that I’ve been a medi-wizard more than twice as long as you’ve been alive. Not to brag, but in general, I know what I’m doing. I was on staff at St. Mungo’s during the war, almost two decades ago. It was a difficult time for a lot of people, and there were quite a few who had worse to deal with than we did. That said, I treated a great deal more people than usual, and for ailments more serious than usual.

There were also people that couldn’t be helped. A great many people died during the war against Voldemort, and in my profession, watching that happen over and over again is inevitable.

I took an oath upon becoming a medi-wizard, which binds me to treat anyone in need. Being unable to do anything about the needless death and suffering around me, quite honestly, was the most painful thing I have ever endured. I did well enough through the war itself, but afterwards I found myself at a loss for means to cope with what I remembered…what I’d seen and felt.

I had difficulty sleeping, suffered a loss of appetite, became irritable and restless without explanation. I had unpleasant dreams for quite awhile, and I stopped seeing my friends and family for long periods of time. This was noticed by my wife, and by other people who knew me well, and I accepted that perhaps counseling might do me some good.

It genuinely did. I can’t recall a single perfect answer given to me, or any one defining moment at which I suddenly changed my outlook, but I did make my peace with my own feelings, and in due time I felt a great deal like my old self again…albeit a little wiser for the wear. I still see death as my enemy, but I also understand that there are things I have no control over, and that carrying the weight of it all as if it were my personal responsibility is both unreasonable and harmful.

And so, my point is that, whatever you may think now, I hope that you’ll look at this as an opportunity to know yourself better, and make your own peace in your time and way. How does that sound?”

Draco had listened raptly, particularly to the parts that had been mentioned about the war. It was one thing to read of it decades after the fact…it was another thing to hear of it in terms like these. People dying, healers breaking down from stress. Harry was at the very forefront of the war. What must it have been like for him? Knowing, as he did, what Harry had lost, it sounded uncomfortably like a vision of hell itself.

“It sounds…amenable. Just…what makes you think I’m not at peace? Maybe I’m completely at peace, and people just don’t recognize it.”

The sniff of vague disdain wasn’t lost on John, but at least there was a hint less arrogance now. Curiosity was taking root. If the lad could see some benefit to be gained, he might just start applying himself to this.

“I haven’t any reason to be antagonistic toward you, so take this as you please and understand that I’m trying to be as direct and honest as I can. Draco, the events of the past week seem to hammer home that you don’t deal well with frustration of any kind. The loss of your temper, and a rather spectacular loss of it at that, is why we’re here now.

I know just enough of your time at Durmstrang to say with authority that you were treated abominably, whatever you might have done, and I personally suspect that more than a few of the challenges to your ability to socialize comfortably with others stems from that time.

Additionally, you seem to know quite a bit more than most about the degree of friendship between your father and Professor Potter. Your impatience over acquiring details about that time overcame your judgment, and very clearly pulled you into a conflict with someone that you have since proven both your admiration for and loyalty to…both in words and deeds.

My intervention canceled your expulsion, and you should know that, since you’re of age, charges could have been brought by the Ministry, had we be inclined to do so. I don’t think either of those are productive choices. The little I’ve heard from Harry, as well as your other professors, all points toward your exceptional quality as a student. No one would want to see that enormous potential wasted. To be specific, I hope you might come away from this with a better ability to rein in your anger and frustration. That might go a long way toward giving you a better outlook on things, not to mention the ability to stay out of undue trouble in the foreseeable future. Who wouldn’t want that for you?”

Draco felt the faintest hint of a blush strike his cheeks. His question had been answered, with brutal accuracy. His display in the classroom had started this, and it was at the center of his inability to see Harry. Too many of Prewett’s questions were desperately close to things he didn’t wish to speak about.

“I…I understand. How do…how does this begin?”

Prewett smiled disarmingly. “Draco, it doesn’t haven’t to begin with anything exceptionally discomforting, although those are the things you should think about carefully, and consider sharing at some point. This is just the first day for all this. Why don’t we just start with how you’re feeling right now? Apprehensive? Irritable? Angry? Confused? Anything at all. And don’t think for a minute that there is anything wrong with having feelings, or having any particular feeling in general. Just…talk…and we’ll go from there. Alright?”

Well, that didn’t seem as bad as he’d imagined. As long as it wasn’t some sort of interrogation, punctuated with continual and implied insults along the way. This…this wasn’t entirely unworkable.

“Well…I am frustrated. Professor Weasley isn’t anything like Professor Potter. I want Professor Potter to at least talk to me. I know I could let this rest a little if I could apologize to him. I know I caused…caused some of this, but I don’t think I’m being allowed to do the honorable thing.

I should be able to do something…anything! Instead I just sort paperwork and help grade parchments. I keep getting the impression that everyone wants me to talk to them, but I’m not allowed to speak to the one person to whom I have something to say.”

Prewett smiled very reasonably and sipped at his tea. “See? Not so hard, is it? We can start with that. To explain at more length, in a way that you might feel more comfortable about, Harry Potter has requested privacy. I granted that request, for the time being, but I can promise that it won’t last forever, or even all that much longer. I think he’s doing a bit better, and that’s all I can share without violating my ethics as a medi-wizard.

I personally think that you respect Professor Potter quite a bit. That’s very admirable of you, and he’s certainly done quite a few things worthy of respect. I still think that respecting his wishes for a little longer is a gesture of respect that he would appreciate. As for Professor Weasley, I wasn’t kidding you when I suggested a game of wizard chess. If you want his respect, beat him fair and square and you’ll have it. He has an unholy passion for it…and one thing you should know…do not underestimate him. You might find it a great deal more challenging than you expect. So how’s that for a start?”

Draco sighed. “Not…bad. So what else do we talk about?”

John Prewett smiled merrily with eyes twinkling pure mischief. The hook was baited, and the fish was on the line.

“Anything you want.”


TBC!!!