Inter Vivos | By : Lomonaaeren Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 42948 -:- Recommendations : 3 -:- Currently Reading : 1 |
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Chapter
Twenty-Six—Quest
Harry
shivered as they reached the bottom of the moving staircase. The coolness that
had gripped his mind when he confronted Dumbledore was leaving him now. And his
hand felt as if it were on fire. He uncurled his fingers from around the stone
with a little hiss.
Snape heard
him and strode at once to his side. He snatched the stone away before Harry
could warn him, then flinched and conjured a bag of some silky-looking material
to drop it into. “Your hand is burned,” he said in a harsh whisper as he began
to move his wand in a pattern of crosses and stars above Harry’s palm. “Why
didn’t you give up the stone earlier if it was hurting you so much?’
“Because
then Dumbledore might have taken it.” Harry was speaking in a whisper, too. He
hissed again as the pain eased, and smiled to soothe Draco’s anxiety as Draco
came up beside him and stared into his face. He shook his head. “Do you have a
plan about where to go?” he asked, looking first at Snape and then at Mrs.
Malfoy.
“Is it not
obvious?” Mrs. Malfoy said, maybe because Snape was still occupied with healing
Harry’s hand. “In times of danger, the best place to go is family.”
Harry
tensed. “My family are Muggles. I doubt they’d welcome us.”
Mrs. Malfoy
smiled at him. “But you have a godfather, and I a cousin, who would accept you
gladly under his roof,” she said. “I doubt that he will be pleased to see a
Death Eater or a Death Eater’s wife and son, but you can make excuses for our
presence. And I know certain defenses that will take hold firmly on a house
where three people of Black blood are living.”
Harry still
wavered. “I don’t know if Sirius would really defy Dumbledore, if Dumbledore
came and tried to get us back,” he admitted.
“Just tell
him that Dumbledore is part of the reason your hand looks like that.” Snape eyed him grimly. Harry
looked down and winced a little when he saw the rising red puffiness on his
palm, which spread in a half-circle from his thumb to cross beneath all his
fingers. “And I think you underestimate Black’s loyalty.”
“Sirius is
plenty loyal,” Harry began hotly.
“He doesn’t
mean it that way, Harry.” Draco squeezed Harry’s shoulder and took his healthy
hand calmingly in his, and Harry let himself be persuaded even though he was
convinced Snape had meant it that
way. “And, well, give me some credit for observing my cousin, too. He’s
hot-tempered and doesn’t like obeying the rules. And he loves you, but I don’t
think he’s ever really forgiven Dumbledore for not standing up for him when the
Ministry claimed he’d been the one who betrayed your parents. He’ll follow you
rather than Dumbledore. Just give him a chance.”
“I don’t
like to ask him to do it,” Harry muttered. “He’s just getting back his mobility
after what I did to him last year.”
“What the
Dark Lord did to him,” Mrs. Malfoy said unexpectedly. Harry craned his neck
back so that he could see her. She was watching him with severe eyes. “My son
has told me what happened then,” she said. “And you must not allow guilt to
gain a toehold in your mind. It has too much of one already.”
Harry
blinked, but said, “All right. But the fact remains that he probably can’t join
us, not when he’s hurt like that.”
“Giving us
shelter requires no physical effort of him.” Snape stepped away and tucked his
wand into his sleeve, though he was still frowning at Harry’s hand. Harry
tucked the hand awkwardly away, too. He wasn’t used to people being concerned
when he was hurt, not after years at the Dursleys’. “But I think we should
leave soon, before Dumbledore comes up with novel methods to delay us.”
Harry took
a deep breath. “All right. We’ll go to Sirius. But I wanted to see Ron and
Hermione first, and try to figure out what to do about Seamus.”
“You can’t
still think that Finnigan is an innocent victim.” Draco dug his fingers into
Harry’s arm as if to say that any such efforts would have to be personally
approved by him.
“Of course
not,” Harry said. “Even if he started out that way, he’s been possessed for so
long now that we have to consider him dangerous. But I’d like to know if he’s
still here, or if Bellatrix contacted him before she called Professor Snape
into the forest tonight. I’ll go to Gryffindor Tower so I can talk to Ron and
Hermione and look in on Seamus—”
“Then all
of us are going to Gryffindor Tower,” said Draco.
Harry
scowled at them. “You can’t. Someone’s going to remember something that
strange.”
“And you’re
leaving the school tonight, so what does it matter?” Snape raised his eyebrows.
“I agree with Draco. We don’t intend to leave you to make your way in the world
alone, and that includes not leaving you to make your way into any place that
could be dangerous.”
Harry tried
to argue with them, but they wouldn’t back down, and Mrs. Malfoy finally said,
“We’re wasting time. It was rumored when I was here as a student that the
Headmaster could commune with the school. I don’t think we should remain and
find out that it’s true, and if he might use Hogwarts as a barrier against us.”
Harry sighed,
but jerked his head in reluctant agreement. “Come on, then.”
*
I wonder if he really understands how this
changes things, Severus thought, as he watched Harry speaking quietly to
his friends through the portrait hole. Weasley had already sent Longbottom
“casually” up to the sixth-year boys’ bedroom to see if Finnigan was in
residence. Harry was pale and shaking his head in answer to some question of
Weasley’s, which apparently upset the other boy. If he realizes that Draco and I are coming with him because we are
devoted to him, not just his cause, and that Mrs. Malfoy considers his offer of
protection serious. He must be an adult before he really knows how to be one.
Coping with the aftermath of abuse is not a way to encourage anyone to become
an adult.
But if
Harry didn’t really understand, he was doing a good job of faking it. His voice
never wavered, and he never raised it, not even when Weasley was trying to
yell—in a whisper—that he and Granger deserved to come with Harry, too.
“No,” Harry
said finally, “for three reasons. First, I need you to stay here and do
research inside the school for me. You’re the only ones I can trust to write to
me about the books and the spells. I don’t trust Dumbledore anymore.”
Weasley
looked ready to argue some more, but Harry raised a hand, and Weasley actually
fell silent in respect and listened for once. Perhaps he could tell that
something fundamental had changed in Harry’s character in the last hour,
Severus thought, and shifted his weight. Longbottom, suddenly appearing at
Weasley’s shoulder, gave Severus a terrified glance, but managed to wait,
sweating and shivering, for his turn to speak.
“Second, I
need you to keep an eye on Dumbledore for me,” Harry went on. “Make sure he’s a good Headmaster. If you
don’t think he will be, or he seems to be falling down in his duties, then
organize the defense of the school yourselves.”
Weasley
went pale, his freckles standing out on his face like specks of blood. “You
want us to what?” he asked weakly.
“You heard
me.” Harry leaned forwards, his gaze unrelenting. “You and Hermione watched me
when we trained in the Army last year. You know something about defense. You
know how to tell good Defense teachers from bad ones—or at least I hope you do, by now.” His words extorted
a faint smile from Weasley. “And Dumbledore will probably talk to you because
he wants to know what I’m doing and he’ll know that we’re in contact. That’ll
give you a chance to observe him and maybe give him advice he could use.”
Weasley
licked his lips, and for a moment Severus thought he might refuse the post,
especially when he looked at Draco and Narcissa with doubtful eyes. Anyone would be better for traveling with
Harry than Slytherins, said the thought barely hidden beneath the surface
of his face. I mean, really!
But in the
end he said quietly, “All right. It’s a big responsibility, Harry, but we’ll
try. What’s the third reason?”
“Things
won’t always stay the same,” Harry said. “I could need you to join our quest at
a later date.” Severus smothered a snort. Trust
a Gryffindor to call it a quest rather than a war. “And it’s better that
you wait, so that any enemies tracking us will be taken off-guard by the
appearance of new searchers.”
Weasley grinned.
“Yeah, I get that,” he said, and Severus recalled the rumor—he chose to
classify it that way because it was based only on Minerva’s bragging—that the
boy savored chess. “All right, mate. Take care of yourself.” He gave Harry a
hug that Severus nearly started forwards to interrupt, until he saw that
Weasley had not touched Harry’s barely-healed hand. “Hermione will be so angry that she missed this.”
“I didn’t
want to wake her up,” said Harry, but he seemed to recognize it for the weak
excuse it was and didn’t make Weasley repeat it. Instead, he turned to
Longbottom.
“Seamus
isn’t there,” said Longbottom, “and all his things are gone, his trunk and his
robes and his special pillows.” Severus shuddered faintly when Longbottom said
the last words, and decided not to ask. There was no end of reasons that
someone with the Dark Lord living in his head might have “special” pillows, but
none that were pleasant to contemplate. “It looks as though he doesn’t mean to
come back.”
Harry
sighed. “I was afraid of that.” He reached out suddenly and shook Longbottom’s
hand. “I hope you’re all right, Neville,” he said. “Be safe and brave during
the war, and remember that you’re a Gryffindor.”
Longbottom
seemed to grow taller as he stood there looking Harry dead in the eye. Harry
had that effect on people he talked to, though Severus didn’t think the boy had
realized it. “Yeah,” he said. “You, too.” He looked at the Slytherins gathered
around Harry as doubtfully Weasley had done, but this time as if he thought
that associating with people from another House was likely to make Harry forget
that he was a Gryffindor.
Harry
smiled at him and turned away. Draco walked close to his side. Narcissa walked
behind her son, with Bellatrix floating Disillusioned and imprisoned still
beside her, but her eyes were more often on Harry’s head than on Draco’s or her
prisoner. Severus suspected that she was changing her mind about more than one
thing, after tonight.
He took the
chance to turn back to the Gryffindor boys. Weasley was watching Harry with a
faintly wistful expression, but it changed when he saw Severus looking at him.
Longbottom, of course, had worn a terrified expression during every moment
since he came to the portrait hole, with the brief exception of his farewell to
Harry.
“You will
do exactly as he asks,” said Severus,
“except that you will be even more suspicious and vigilant than he asks you to
be. Do you understand?”
“I was
already planning on that before you even asked, Professor,” Weasley said, in a
tone that barely hid the “greasy git.” He pulled Longbottom with him and
stepped back, letting the portrait close.
Severus
snorted under his breath and turned to follow the small parade of his new
allies.
And one prisoner.
His gaze
narrowed thoughtfully on the mind-trapped madwoman. Yes, he must
do…something…about Bellatrix.
*
Draco
looked around in quiet horror and did his best to keep his expression from
showing what he really felt. His mother would certainly look dimly on any
protest that he made. She might even say that he owed some respect to the home
of his ancestors, the home where Harry’s Black, the heir of the family, had
grown up.
But it was disgusting. The house hadn’t been lived
in regularly for years; it seemed that Black preferred to live elsewhere, and
who wouldn’t? The paper was black where it wasn’t peeling, Draco hadn’t seen a
mirror without spots since he entered the house, and there was an inexplicable
but definitely present smell that
filled the corners of several rooms. And there was the screaming portrait of
Black’s mother on the wall, which hadn’t shut up about having Harry and
Professor Snape in “the home of my ancestors” until his mother had cast a spell
that yanked the curtains over the picture shut.
If Draco
had been coming to live in Number Twelve Grimmauld Place under normal
circumstances, he wouldn’t have rested until every room was clean, or at least
a respectable number of them, and some other house-elf secured than the dirty,
twisted creature who bowed and whined to them at every opportunity. But this
was exile and a war camp, so he made due.
He did
allow himself one pleasure, though, which Harry didn’t discover until after
they’d stayed up for hours, sitting around the kitchen table and discussing
various strategies for identifying the Horcruxes and where they needed to go
next. Harry paused in the doorway of his bedroom and blinked several times.
Then he twisted around to look at Draco, who smiled innocently back at him.
He felt a little bad about pretending not to know
what was going on when he saw the red rims of exhaustion around Harry’s eyes.
But this would be good for Harry, too, Draco told himself. This way, he would
be sure to sleep without nightmares, and Draco would give him moments of
distraction and free time that he would never think to take for himself.
“This is my
room,” Harry said.
“That’s
right,” Draco said casually, and brushed past him.
“But your
things are in it.” Harry peered at Draco’s trunk, which sat at the foot of the
bed, as if someone might have Transfigured his own trunk when he wasn’t
looking.
“That’s
right,” Draco repeated, and opened the trunk to sort out pyjamas, whilst
patiently waiting for Harry to catch on.
“But—”
Harry twisted his head, looking doubtfully over his shoulder towards the corridor.
“We can’t share a bed,” he said at last.
“I don’t
see why not.” Draco shook out a pyjama shirt with an unnecessarily loud snap,
to hide the fact that his hands were a bit unsteady. “I’ll be of age in a few
weeks, and then you’ll be of age less than two months after that. We’ve been
wanking and kissing each other for months now—”
“Draco!”
Harry hissed, and actually drew his wand to cast a privacy ward, even though
Professor Snape and his mother, along with Black, were sleeping on the floor
below and wouldn’t be listening anyway, given how tired they were themselves.
“What? You
were the one who kissed me in front of my mother at Christmas.” Draco took off
his robes and the shirt and trousers he wore beneath them, beyond amused at the
way Harry blushed and looked away. “If you don’t think she could guess the
truth just from that, you’re giving her insultingly little credit for
intelligence.”
“But she
won’t like it,” said Harry.
“We’re
soldiers and adults long before we were supposed to be,” Draco said. “My mother
had to live through a war, too, even though she wasn’t on the same side that
she is now. If anyone would object, it’s Professor Snape. And we’ll just keep
out of his sight and out of his way.” He approached Harry speaking soothingly,
though he’d already seen Harry’s eyes dart to the erection outlined against his
pants. At last he stood in front of him, and Harry looked at him uncertainly.
Yes, his eyes were bloodshot, but Draco could see that he wanted this more than
he was afraid of it.
“All
right,” Harry said simply. Draco blinked, having expected more argument, but
then he smiled. Harry being tired is an
advantage in this case.
And then
Harry stepped forwards and fastened his mouth to Draco’s as if kisses were the
only thing that could make him feel better, and Draco forgot to think.
Harry
didn’t give him time to think, even if he’d retained the ability. His tongue
was always moving, and his hands were moving, pushing Draco flat on the bed and
yanking his pants off. And then he took Draco’s cock into his mouth, and
choked, and snatched it back, and choked again, and turned, and came in from
another angle, and used his tongue, and chuckled proudly, and said something
that Draco couldn’t understand, and Draco thought hazily that he should tell
Harry not to talk with his mouth full, except that it felt so good as a little hum around his
erection, and Harry sucked some more, and said something else, or maybe
giggled, and Draco’s body jolted off the bed as though someone had stabbed him
with a Lightning-Calling Curse, and he came into Harry’s mouth with a garbled
gabble that probably had Harry’s name in it. Somewhere. At least Draco was
reasonably certain that it didn’t have anyone else’s name in it.
Harry sat
back and said, “Well,” consideringly. His voice was hoarse, and his lips
swollen in a way that hours of kisses couldn’t have made them, and Draco hauled
him onto the bed and curved a leg around his hips, trapping him there.
Harry
laughed aloud. Draco felt some tight coil in him unwind that must have been
tight from the moment they confronted Dumbledore, by the relief that its
relaxing gave him. Harry reached up and rubbed his hand down the side of
Draco’s face.
“You don’t
have to do that to keep me here,” Harry said, and moved on to stroking Draco’s
neck and hair. Draco thought he could see Harry’s cock visibly throb, though it
was still covered by tight cloth. “I don’t want to go anywhere.”
“Doesn’t
mean you won’t,” Draco whispered in spite of himself, his eyes lingering on the
scar on Harry’s forehead.
Harry’s
face turned serious and he started to sit up, but Draco held him down again,
kissed him urgently, and went to work showing Harry how much he was loved and
appreciated by one person at least. The rest of the world could turn against
him, the Dark Lord could put a second piece
of his soul in Harry, and Professor Snape could come stand in the doorway of
the bedroom and stare disapprovingly all he liked, but Draco would never give
Harry up.
When Harry
had come sighing and groaning into his mouth, Draco cast a simple Cleaning
Charm with Dumbledore’s wand—which buzzed oddly in his hand, as if it didn’t
like to be used for such a simple task—and then dragged the covers over them.
Harry rolled over and dropped his head wearily onto Draco’s shoulder.
Pleased
that there wouldn’t be an argument about them sleeping in the same bed tonight,
Draco closed his eyes.
*
“Snape?”
Severus had
to pause a bit to savor the moment when he heard Bellatrix’s voice. That was
the first word she had said since the removal of the mind-imprisoning spell,
even though Severus had taken it off five minutes ago. Instead, she had stared
around the room where he had her—a chamber off the main attic at the top of the
house—and then stared at him in silence.
And she had
pretended to pay no attention to the cauldron and the vials waiting patiently
on the table behind Severus.
But now her
eyes were straying to them, and her voice betrayed her.
“Yes, Bella?”
Severus inquired mildly, as he raised his wand and conjured a burst of heat
into all five of the vials at once. They sparkled and blazed as the inner fire
caught on the facets of the glass, and the potions began to bubble and
circulate. Two of them changed color from deep red to deep blue. Bellatrix
narrowed her eyes, and Severus saw a spasm cross behind her expression. Yes,
she knew what he intended to do.
“There is
still time to come back to our Lord,” she said, her voice recovering a hint of
its old croon. There had been a time when Severus had feared and almost
worshipped her, when she was powerful and beautiful and that voice made his
blood quicken. Almost, she might have
become his substitute for Lily.
But then he
had seen her torture a Muggle for the first time, and any possibility of an
enchantment like that overpowering him was destroyed forever.
And now
Azkaban had happened, and the last traces of her beauty were gone. Severus
smiled thinly at her pride and said, “No. I truly left him long ago, though I
promised myself it would be only a temporary separation. But now I have no need
to spy on him for the Headmaster.”
“Then there
is no obstacle to prevent your coming back to us.” Bellatrix widened her eyes
until her eyelashes almost touched her brows.
Severus
shook his head and chuckled. “You really do not understand, do you, Bellatrix?”
But he knew she didn’t. She was mad, and devoted to the Dark Lord past the
reach of reason even if she had still been sane. And so she looked at him now,
patient, waiting for a “real” answer to her question.
“I am loyal
to a different trust now,” he said simply, and cast another spell. Two of the
vials rose, uncorked themselves, mixed their content in the air into a shining
liquid, and dumped it straight into the cauldron. Bellatrix tried, but she
couldn’t prevent herself from looking towards the motion. Though it was
scarcely a flicker of the right eye, Severus accounted it a victory.
“You don’t
need to be,” Bellatrix said, and looked back at him. All traces of fear
vanished from her face. There was only the passion of a fanatic who wanted to
make a convert. Severus watched her sardonically, wand balanced in his hand as
he conducted a stirring rod into the cauldron and mixed the potions more
thoroughly together. Meanwhile, Bellatrix leaned forwards until Severus thought
he could hear the invisible magical bonds holding her creak. “The Dark Lord
would still welcome you. All he needs is indisputable proof that you’ve
regained your old loyalty. Harry Potter’s head would do that.”
Severus smiled
at her. The sudden rage that her comment had inspired showed only in the way he
flicked his wand and murmured, “Maturo
cordis.”
Bellatrix
shrieked and strained against her bonds again as her heart quickened its pace,
throbbing and leaping as if it were fit to burst. Severus knew well the
crushing pain that came with the spell; the Dark Lord had used it on him more
than once. One couldn’t die of it unless the spell was maintained for minutes,
but it made one feel as if death were
reaching out and clutching the heart. It was fit suffering for Bellatrix.
Severus turned back to the cauldron and organized the last mixing of the
potions.
By the time
he turned back around again, Bellatrix was staring at him with the fervid eyes
of an aroused predator. Severus arched a brow. “There is information in your
head that I need,” he said.
“I would
never betray my Lord.” And Bellatrix spat on the floor after she made that
announcement, melodramatic creature that she was.
“I did not
plan to ask you if you wanted to volunteer
that information.” Severus returned her gesture with a smile. He would have
done something worse than that to her if she had spit on the floor of his home,
but Black’s dirty house deserved little respect.
“Veritaserum
would be quicker,” said Bellatrix, staring now openly at the cauldron. She had
a kind of crazed courage, Severus had to acknowledge. When she decided that
something couldn’t be ignored any longer, then she wouldn’t try to ignore it.
“But takes
too long to brew,” Severus said. “And requires ingredients I do not have. And
is not painful enough.”
Bellatrix
lifted her head haughtily, no fear visible in her face. If it had been, Severus
knew, it would have been solely fear that Severus might succeed in making her
betray her Lord, not fear for her own physical safety. “I will remember that
you don’t have the ingredients for Veritaserum,” she said. “I’m sure my Lord
will find that information valuable when I escape.”
“My old
Lord does need better servants,” Severus said, mock-sadly, and sent the
stirring rod into the cauldron a second time. This time, a violent bubbling
succeeded. Bellatrix tested her bonds again, but otherwise showed no reaction
as Severus scooped up a ladle of the potion—now a bright green—and approached
her with steady steps. When he got close, he cast a spell that kept her head
still and froze her with her mouth open. Bellatrix was still rolling her eyes
madly and trying to bite when he tipped the ladle into her mouth.
Severus did
release the freezing spells when he had got safely out of the way. It would be
no fun if Bellatrix had to keep her head still whilst the potion worked.
Bellatrix
promptly began to scream. Severus smiled. The potion burned the throat on the
way down, so painfully that cries were forced from the most stoic, but that was
not its purpose or main effect.
A moment
later, Bellatrix froze of her own free will and whimpered. Severus leaned back
against the table and sipped a cup of tea that he had conjured earlier in
anticipation.
Bellatrix
bent over, writhing, and began to make a complicated sound like sneezing and
vomiting combined. Silver liquid like that which would fill a Pensieve oozed
out of her eyes and mouth, dripping to the floor. Severus flicked his wand, and
at once the liquid lifted and flew across the room, into a Pensieve that he had
standing ready.
Bellatrix
went on retching up the relevant memories, the effort sending flashes of what
Severus knew was exquisite pain through her nostrils, eyes, and head. The pain
would get so bad that she would be begging for death by the time it was done.
Severus sipped his tea again and was content.
After a
short time, however, he began to think that there was another noise under
Bellatrix’s screams, one that interrupted his enjoyment of the process.
Annoyed, and expecting to see the dirty house-elf clamoring to clean the attic
just now, Severus glanced off to the side.
Instead, he
found Harry standing there, staring at Bellatrix in horror.
Severus
stiffened. He had—not intended Harry to see this. But he could hardly pretend
that he had not had something to do with it, when he had an empty cauldron and
was alone in the room with Bellatrix. He nodded and cast a spell that would
silence Bellatrix’s screams. “Was there something you needed, Harry?” he asked
gently.
Harry spun
to face him. His eyes were already bloodshot with exhaustion, but now they
seemed to have gone further red with anger.
“You’re torturing her,” he said, and his voice
was loud and so angry that Severus winced in spite of himself. For a moment, he
thought that he was hearing Harry’s voice after he had broken into his
memories. It was that loud, that accusing and blank. But now there was
disappointment in it, too.
Severus
caught his breath. Could hurting
Bellatrix cost me Harry’s trust again?
And that
was not to be borne, because he had labored so hard to gain that trust back. It
was intolerable to think that he could lose it again by means of a simple pain
potion, one he had never meant Harry to find out about.
And perhaps you should have thought it
through more deeply when you realized this would involve lying to him.
“I’m simply
getting information from her,” Severus said, and directed more of the silver
memory-liquid to the Pensieve without taking his gaze off Harry. “I don’t have
the means of brewing Veritaserum here.”
Harry
continued to stare at him with big, betrayed eyes. He flinched when Bellatrix
screamed again, and then seemed to shake himself out of a trance.
“Stop it,” he said. “Make her stop
hurting.”
“The potion
cannot be stopped once it has begun,” Severus said.
“Bollocks,”
said Harry, and took a step forwards that Severus actually flinched from.
Harry, like the Slytherin he sometimes resembled, noted the flinch and followed
it up immediately. “You’re a Potions master,” he said. “You can do it. I know
you can.”
Severus
flinched again, and sighed, and waved his wand. The potion came flooding out of
Bellatrix in a violent waterfall, taking all the orifices of her body as its
quickest exit points. Severus wrinkled his nose at the thought of the mess he
would find under her robes, between her legs.
Bellatrix
slumped in her bonds, coughing and crying. Harry watched her with a horrifying
expression of pity, then turned and looked accusingly at Severus. “You could
have used Legilimency if you really wanted to,” he said in a low voice. “I know
you could. And maybe it would have hurt, but it would have hurt less than
this.”
Severus
looked away.
“Why didn’t
you use it?” Harry continued.
“Bellatrix
has some skills as an Occlumens,” Severus murmured. “It is possible that I
would come out with inaccurate or incomplete information.”
“Draco
keeps saying how good you are,” Harry muttered intently. “The best Occlumens
ever. You can do things that aren’t in the books, he said. So you could find
out the truth. It would just take some more digging.”
Severus
clenched his fists. “If she was free and in control of the situation, she would
not return your pity.”
“I don’t
care,” Harry said. “We should be better than that. I didn’t want you to take
revenge on Seamus with that potion we brewed in my second year, either. I don’t
want you to hurt her like this.”
“War is
hard,” Severus said. “There will be sacrifices to be made. The sooner you can
learn that, the better—”
“Treating a
prisoner, someone who can’t defend herself, badly doesn’t have to be one of
them,” Harry interrupted. “I promise, if I’m ever faced with a situation where
I have to do something bad and painful for the war, then I’ll do it without hesitating.
But you could have done something else in this case.”
Severus
inclined his head, feeling as if he bent it against the weight of gravity.
“I—apologize,” he said. “You are indeed right that I could have done other
things.”
“Good,”
Harry said, drawing in his breath as if he, too, had been worried about the
outcome of their confrontation. “Now, why didn’t you do them?”
“Because I
wanted to make her pay.” Severus found that he had to look at Bellatrix as he
spoke. He could not bear—not yet—to see the light dim and darken in Harry’s
eyes as he realized that Severus wasn’t a good person after all. “Because I
wanted to make her suffer as I suffered, for months under her fear spell.”
“That—I can
understand that,” said Harry. “There are times that I want to make the Dursleys
suffer like that.”
Severus
looked quickly at him, not sure which was strongest: his surprise, his joy that
Harry would want to take vengeance on the Dursleys after all, or his hope that
this need not mean the end of all confidence between them.
Harry
looked at Severus much as he had looked at Dumbledore during the night of the
confrontation in the Headmaster’s office. “But I know better,” he said. “And I
have to resist the temptation. That means you do, too. You’re an adult. You should
know better.”
Severus
swallowed hard. It felt like swallowing a mouthful of scalding bile. And if
Harry thought the temptation to torture Bellatrix for her crimes had been
great, he would have been horrified to know how much Severus wanted to burst
out bitterly against him now.
Do you know what my life has been like? he
wanted to say. My only friend was
murdered the night that you received your scar. I always knew that I couldn’t
really trust Dumbledore, but that doesn’t mean it hurt less to see it proven. I
have tried to protect you and Draco, and I haven’t even been successful in
that. Not everyone can be as noble-hearted as you are, and a good thing, too,
or we wouldn’t win this war.
But Harry
gazed at him with calm, clear eyes, and Severus realized that he wouldn’t
accept any of those excuses. Worse, he would think less of Severus for making
them.
Severus had
always been good at living with the inevitable, the things that he couldn’t
change or avoid. And this was another of them. At the moment, Harry had the
power to influence his reactions, however little he liked admitting that. He
had to do what Harry wanted in order to live with himself later.
It isn’t a loss, he consoled himself as
he nodded. You’ll still get something you
want more than you want Bellatrix’s pain out of it. You’ll gain his trust back.
“I—know
that,” he said. “Sometimes. But it’s not something I think about often.”
“Oh, I
wouldn’t expect you to think about it for Bellatrix’s sake, or for the sake of
pure abstract good,” Harry said, his eyebrows rising. “I would expect you to
think about it for your sake, so you can be a better person than that.”
Severus
stared back for long, silent moments, not knowing how to respond.
He thinks I’m a better person than that.
He tried
not to stammer as he said, “I will remember that, Harry. I—am I forgiven?”
Harry
nodded. “Like I said, it’s something I can understand myself. And you stopped
when I asked you to, which you wouldn’t have done if you were really evil, like
Voldemort.” He shuddered a little, which made Severus hope he was coming to his
senses as far as speaking the name was involved, and then turned and studied
Bellatrix. “We still need something to do with her after you read her memories,
though,” he added, as if to himself.
“I will
Transfigure her,” Severus offered. “I learned something about human
Transfiguration when I tried to become an Animagus. I never succeeded in
changing myself, but I could manage to turn her into a butterfly or something
equally harmless.”
Harry
stared at him in turn, and Severus realized that he was trying to decide
whether to trust him.
And then
Harry smiled, and the tension eased. “A butterfly?” he chuckled. “That’s
perfect. If she tries to beat me over the head with her wings, it won’t even
hurt.”
Severus
smiled back, and he might have moved forwards to embrace Harry, except that
Bellatrix recovered her senses enough to scream and threaten them then, and he
did not want her to see such a private moment.
But it was
worth even the moments when Harry had looked at him like he was tainted, to
know that they had taken the first and largest step towards repairing their
trust.
*
Draco liked
the bustle that was spreading through Number Twelve Grimmauld Place. Nothing
could make up for having to live in such dingy surroundings for several months,
whilst they waited for he and Harry to be of age and the Trace to come off
their wands, but researching Horcruxes and ways to destroy them came close.
Black had
accepted Harry’s explanation of Dumbledore’s behavior and why they’d left the
school without a blink, as Draco had known he would. Honestly, he didn’t know
why Harry was so inclined to stumble over his own tongue when he asked for help
from people who loved him.
Unless he really can’t see the way they love
him.
Draco
reckoned that was possible, especially now that Harry had his nose in a book
about Horcruxes most of the time.
They had
discovered a few books like that in the Black library, hidden behind other
volumes. Black claimed not to have known he had them, and Draco believed him.
The library was huge, and there were too many books that hadn’t been
catalogued—or maybe the dirty house-elf, Kreacher, had pulled them off the
shelves and hugged them to his chest a while before leaving them scattered.
Harry took to reading like he was sharing a soul with Granger and regularly
owled queries to his friends.
Professor
Snape was researching ways to combat Nagini’s poison and strength when they
finally had to confront her. He had learned little from Bellatrix, who was too
mad to retain much pertinent information and who’d been obsessed with her hunt
for Harry for the past several months, but what he had learned about the Dark
Lord’s snake concerned him. Draco’s mother was inquiring, in a polite dance
which required several letters, of the Lestrange relatives that she thought she
could negotiate with, in order to try and find out whether a Horcrux might
indeed have passed through their vaults and into Finnigan’s hands. Harry read
and absorbed as much about Horcruxes as one human being could in the course of
a day. And Black exercised and tested his crippled hand and twisted spine
constantly, as if he really believed he might be well enough to go with them if
he just pushed his limits.
In the
meantime, Draco helped Harry study Horcruxes, and work off any excess tension
in bed at night. So far, neither his mother nor Professor Snape had said a
thing about he and Harry sharing a bedroom—not that Draco intended to listen if
they did. He also studied the Switching Spells that Harry said had been
necessary to destroy the locket, intent on finding out how to modify them as
Dumbledore had done. Harry could remember very little about the individual
modifications, unfortunately.
And he had
a project of his own, which he worked on when no one else was looking.
Dumbledore’s
wand was strange. Draco had
recognized the wood at a glance as elder wood, and he knew it had an extremely
powerful core by the way it hummed. But it shouldn’t respond so well to him.
For one thing, it was unfamiliar to him, even if he had gained its loyalty by
stealing it from Dumbledore, and for another, Dumbledore’s magic was what had
really given its power.
Maybe.
Draco was
starting to think that it was the wand that had made Dumbledore formidable, and
not the other way around.
He tried
casting spells on the wand using his own wand, and then using Harry’s when
Harry didn’t need it. Each time, the wand was unharmed, even against the spell
that had destroyed Harry’s first wand, the holly one. It sparked and glittered
and puffed like a volatile potion, then settled back into place without a mark.
It was even difficult to move it when Draco intended to throw it at the wall,
as if the wand could sense his intent and rejected any harm that might come to
it.
But if he
wanted to pick it up, then the wand was completely tame in his hand, responding
like a Kneazle kitten to petting.
It was a
mystery, and one that Draco wasn’t entirely sure he could solve, because he
didn’t really know where to begin. Was the wand’s resistance a property of the
wand itself? Of the wood? Of the core? Of unknown protection charms that
Dumbledore had cast on it long ago? (If so, then Draco thought he was rather
stupid not to cast a spell that would have protected him against being
disarmed).
But that
was exactly the kind of question that Draco had wanted to become an inventor to
answer. And so he happily worked on the wand through the long still evenings of
waiting and researching and deciding.
The idyll
came abruptly to an end on the thirtieth of July, when Harry received a letter
from Weasley that made him stagger as he stared at it and Draco move
immediately to his side.
*
Dear Harry,
First, you need to know that Hermione and me
are safe. We left the Burrow to go to Hogwarts and do research by Dumbledore’s
special invitation. I think he wants to keep us close in case we know anything
that will lead him to you.
But there was an attack on the Burrow yesterday.
It was Death Eaters. Mum’s certain of that, since they were wearing black robes
and white masks.
Bill was there (did I tell you that he’s
getting married to Fleur Delacour, that part-Veela girl who was in the
Triwizard Tournament? I don’t think I did), and he was able to fight them off,
with Dad and Charlie. But he was injured, and so was Mum. Dumbledore has them
all in an Order hiding spot right now; he didn’t entirely trust that someone at
St. Mungo’s might not be a Death Eater spy.
Harry
closed his eyes. Mrs. Weasley, who had given him the first motherly hug he
could remember and cooked him food as if she were glad to see him eat. And though he’d only briefly met Bill a few
times on his holidays at the Burrow or when Bill came to visit his brothers at
school, he’d liked him.
Ron didn’t
say how badly they were injured. Harry had to take a deep breath, content
himself with the fact that Hermione would have written him a second letter if
they were in danger of dying, lean briefly against Draco’s shoulder, and read
on.
And Dumbledore’s calling the Order of the
Phoenix together. Apparently the Death Eaters are becoming more open about
attacking again; I reckon You-Know-Who’s given up on hoping you die before he
starts the war properly. They’re leaving the Dark Mark all over the place, and
they’ve already killed one or two important Ministry officials.
Bill says he remembers the Death Eater who
hurt him—until Charlie got him in the back—stooping over him and smiling at
him. His breath smelled like rotting meat, Bill said, and he whispered, “You’re
going to live. You’re the one who’ll tell Harry Potter that we’ll attack every
single person and place he loves until he gives himself up to our Lord.”
Hermione got word this morning that there
was an attack on her parents’ house, too. But she’d already told them to move,
and they’re out of the country and staying with relatives. The Death Eaters
destroyed the house, though.
I don’t know what to do, mate. I feel so helpless
here, and part of me wants to fight with
the Order since I’m of age. But I know that you need to know things about
You-Know-Who’s artifacts, so I also want to stay here. Most of all, I wish I
was with you.
Harry
closed his eyes and sighed. He wondered if it would be for the best after all,
if he had taken Ron and Hermione with him—but he doubted that it would have
kept their families from being attacked.
Hermione says to tell you that she thinks
the locket Dumbledore destroyed was Slytherin’s locket, with the S on it and
everything. She suggests that you should look for powerful artifacts that
belonged to the Founders. Maybe something that was important to Ravenclaw or
Hufflepuff or Gryffindor was on You-Know-Who’s list, too. Or maybe he just
likes powerful magical artifacts in general, with what you told me about the
stone. Hermione says that the design you described on the ring indicates that
the ring belonged to a family called Peverell and not to Slytherin’s family, by
the way, so you could research them, too.
Hermione’s
handwriting took over, then, and she listed each Founder with a neat list of
important artifacts beside them.
Gryffindor: Sword of Gryffindor
Sorting Hat
Wand? (people dispute whether
Gryffindor’s wand still exists, since it was supposedly destroyed in a duel his
grandson fought)
Hufflepuff: Portrait of Hufflepuff (removed
from Hogwarts years ago)
Crystal
ball
Miniature
model in crystal of the Hufflepuff common room
Jade
sculpture of a badger with topazes for eyes (last seen in the possession of
Halifax Rosier)
Ravenclaw: Set of history books
Portrait
of her daughter?? (sorry, Harry, but I can’t figure out whether this existed,
either)
Tiara
And Harry
went still, because a memory was chasing around his head but he couldn’t reach it. He thought that he’d thought
something about one of those items once, or heard something, but no context
would come to him. Nothing but that maddening familiarity, the same kind he
felt sometimes when he was staring at an exam he was certain he’d studied for
and trying to recall a particular potions ingredient.
He slammed
the letter down and turned to Draco. “Use Legilimency on me,” he said.
Draco
blinked at him. “What?”
“Use
Legilimency on me,” Harry snapped. “I know that there’s something in my head, a
memory connected with this letter—” he waved the letter, and Draco took it from
him and frowned at it “—but I don’t know which memory it is, and I don’t know
which word or artifact it’s connected to, and I need to.”
Draco read
the letter through twice, then hesitated. Harry tapped his foot impatiently on
the floor. “Come on, Draco. I’ll do my best not to block you. I want you to get this memory out of my
head so we can have a look at it.”
Draco hesitated
again, then spoke in a gentle voice. “I don’t think I’m a good enough
Legilimens to locate a memory like that, Harry. It would require searching all
through your mind on multiple levels, and for recollections of words. You know I’m no good at that. I’m
much more able to search for images and specific memories that I know we
shared.”
“Well,
search for that, then,” Harry snapped. “Maybe the moment when I used the Sword
of Gryffindor in the Chamber of Secrets will turn up something.”
Draco faced
him and put his hands on his shoulders. “I think I would just waste time,” he
said quietly, “and for as intensive a search as this would need, I’d probably
end up aggravating the wounds in your mind that the Dark Lord left. You need
someone who’s a better Legilimens than me, and who can search your memories
based on words.”
Harry
swallowed. “You’re talking about Snape.”
“I am.”
Draco’s eyes were kind, but his hands clamped down on Harry’s shoulders and
didn’t relent. “I know that you still don’t trust him fully, but he could do
this, and he’ll be gentle enough not to probe into your wounds.”
“But if I
don’t trust him, and I don’t,” Harry said flatly, breaking away, “then I’ll
fight him in spite of myself. And that means that he’ll hurt me.” He shook his
head. Despite the starvation and the pain in his scar that he’d got used to
over the years, the memory of his headache after Snape had ripped memories out
of his mind was still one of his foulest. “I can’t do it, Draco.”
“Do you
want to uncover a potential clue to one of the Horcruxes or not?” Draco
demanded.
Harry
winced, and Draco immediately reached out to him, his face pale. “Harry, I
didn’t mean—”
“You did
mean it like that,” Harry said, “and you’re right. And I have to trust Snape
sooner or later.” He had as good as admitted that he trusted Snape the other
night, he thought, when he caught him torturing Bellatrix and then accepted his
assurance that he wouldn’t do it again. And if he trusted Snape to be gentle
reading memories from the mind of a prisoner who couldn’t defend herself, then
why shouldn’t he trust Snape to be gentle with him? He had been present when
Voldemort made the wounds, and he ought to know something about them. And he
had more reason to treat Harry gently than he had to treat Bellatrix.
And, Harry thought, with the cold tone
that he was sometimes capable of taking lately, he won’t want to do anything new to make me turn my back on him. Yes,
of course he’ll be gentle.
“I’ll ask
him,” he said.
Draco
didn’t press him further on the point, talking idly about Dumbledore’s wand as
they ate lunch. Then he took Harry upstairs and gave him a spectacular blowjob
that made Harry feel as if he had dissolved into soft, melting pieces of
chocolate stuck together at the corners. When he came back to himself, he
rolled over, flung an arm across Draco’s chest, and kissed him as soundly as he
could.
Draco gave
him a smug smile back, but didn’t say anything. By the time Harry had cleaned
himself up, put on his robes, and got up to find Snape, he was asleep, his
breath fluttering the pieces of blond hair that clung above his mouth.
*
Harry had
shown him Weasley’s letter and explained as well as he could. And now he was
standing in front of Severus, his hands in his pockets, his wand on the table
so that he couldn’t accidentally use it in his defense. His face was pale and
he looked as if he would rather have been anywhere else, but his eyes were
fixed steadily on Severus’s, and he didn’t run out the door when he heard the
word, “Legilimens.”
Severus
knew the gift that had been given to him. And he wasn’t about to treat Harry
with even a tenth of the disregard that he’d given the woman who was now a
black butterfly fluttering around a transparent cage, now and then pausing to
beat its wings angrily against the glass.
No, he
walked into Harry’s mind as if it were a room full of delicate brewing
equipment, and spent some time constructing muffling barriers that would
insulate his presence. He put them around memories that he had no intention of
disturbing—those of Harry’s “childhood” with the Dursleys—and then backed away
with all the effect of a breeze. He did take the time to check on Harry then,
but Harry was breathing in soft contentment, his eyes closed. He had a faint
line between his brows, but no grimace of pain.
Fortified,
Severus began to move through Harry’s memories of his every interaction with
the Dark Lord over the past six years. He was sure that the clue Harry wanted
would be somewhere within those memories. Who else would have any reason to
mention Horcruxes in his hearing? Perhaps Dumbledore had said something, but
Severus didn’t believe the old man so lost to sense that he wouldn’t have given
them some clue before they left the
school. Severus only intended to search those memories if he found no clues
here.
He winced
as he watched a younger Harry talk with the Dark Lord’s spirit before the
basilisk and battle the form of him implanted in Quirrell. He wondered that the
boy did not bear more scars than he did. But as far as he could judge from the
emotional tenor of Harry’s mind surrounding the memories, he was calm about
them, and a trifle impatient that Severus hadn’t yet found what he was looking
for.
Nothing
either spirit said could be considered a clue, and the younger Harry had been
too emotionally involved in the battles to notice even if one had appeared,
Severus judged. Quietly, he withdrew and turned to the time that Harry had been
Portkeyed to the Dark Lord’s presence.
Harry’s
mind alternated with lightning flashes of paralyzing fear and breathless
defiance as Severus walked through those memories, and he winced again. How is it that he goes through these
emotions without ripping himself apart? I knew something only a little more
violent in my grief for Lily, and that has damaged my life to a considerable extent.
But again
it seemed normal for Harry, and as much as he would have liked to linger and
watch the way he had helped Harry escape played over several times, Severus
pulled away and turned to the moment he had most dreaded investigating.
Harry’s
mind vibrated like a struck bell as Severus began to step around the missing
memories, the holes that the Dark Lord’s possessing presence had opened in his
thoughts. Severus had to pause several times to ride out tremors that affected
him like earthquakes in his present position, and to remind Harry, as calmly as
he could, of what he was doing there, and that Harry himself had given him
permission. Harry seemed to listen to or otherwise sense his warnings, which
was further proof that Draco was a good Occlumency tutor for him. The tremors calmed
at last, and Severus proceeded.
The Dark
Lord stretched across Harry’s mind like a set of drying strips of greasy meat.
Severus had assumed that it was useless to try and explain the taint Bellatrix’s
fear spell had left in his mind, but he wished now that he’d been more
forthcoming. Harry would have understood after all.
Severus found
nothing in the simple memories of the moments when the Dark Lord had first
taken over Harry’s mind, or in the recollections of the nightmares. So he
turned to the largest memory-hole and, with reluctance, stretched out a mental “hand,”
of the kind Draco had used to lend him the strength to resist Bellatrix.
There was a
method that could be used to find lost memories, but it was tricky and
delicate. Severus would have preferred more time and even more permission than
he had received.
But needs
must, and so he stepped into the pit in the center of the most likely place:
the short time when the Dark Lord had been active and guiding Harry towards the
Room of Requirement. He had reasoned “aloud” to himself, as he had a habit of
doing in moments of extreme energy, and he might have mentioned something about
the Horcruxes.
Severus dropped
into the slime, reducing his mental presence to a bare whisper. Harry still
started and shuddered as the wound was disturbed, and Severus knew he would be
experiencing the same kind of headache that an assault with Legilimency often brought
on. He winced again and vowed to hand over his strongest pain potion to Harry
the moment he was out of here.
Down
through muck and throbbing Dark magic. It was no wonder these wounds were not
healing, Severus thought grimly. He had forgotten—he had had little occasion to
study the subject for his own use—how much an invading possessive spirit was
like Dark magic.
You should have studied it in the past year,
if only for Harry’s sake.
But both of
them had ignored the wounds in his mind as much as possible. They had evidence
that it had not permanently incapacitated Harry and that he had lost few
important memories, and that, Severus thought, had been enough for both of
them. They had acted as if not mentioning it meant it hadn’t happened.
Now Severus
was tearing through one of the fragile scabs, and he knew the wound needed to
be fully purged and healed. Although whether Harry would let him into his head
again, after the pain this lancing
would cause, he could not say. Draco might be a better choice, if he had the
time to study Mind-Healing.
Finally, Severus
saw a glowing trace on the wall of the slimy cavern, and he altered his way
towards it. In a moment, he was hearing the Dark Lord’s voice, as sibilant and
mocking as always, speaking around him.
If others have found the Room of Hidden
Things, the hiding place is insecure. I must remove the tiara.
And Severus
rose to the surface of Harry’s mind like a dolphin rescuing a swimmer, radiant
with triumph, but mostly concerned to get out of the depths as soon as he
possibly could.
*
Harry’s
head was throbbing.
And you didn’t expect that, after letting
Snape into your mind?
But Harry
knew that was unfair. He suspected that the only way for Snape to find the
truth was to cause him unendurable pain—because that was the way his Occlumency
was, or because the memory was so deeply buried.
He did wish it could be different, though.
By the time he felt Snape shift and slither back out of his head, his vision
was filled with hazy red flashes of light and he’d dropped to his knees. The
pain pressed hard against the skin of his temple, and Harry thought that he knew
how a drum felt when it was being pounded.
And then Snape
was back in his body again, striding away from him and coming back with a glass
vial holding a swirling blue potion. Harry scowled doubtfully at it.
“This is a
headache potion,” Snape said. “Stronger than normal, or you would recognize the
color.”
Harry
froze. Snape’s voice was gentle, and he spoke slowly, as if he knew that Harry
wasn’t up to following quickly barked words right now. For Snape, that was
almost as good as an apology.
Harry took
a chance and swallowed the potion; he certainly couldn’t follow his preferred course
and pretend nothing was wrong. The headache vanished with such suddenness that
he gasped aloud. Why couldn’t I have had
something like that every time I had a vision from Voldemort? I’ll definitely
need to learn to brew that potion.
“What’s
wrong?” Snape demanded. “What has happened?”
Harry
blinked at him for a moment, wondering what was wrong with Snape, before he understood. He’d heard the gasp and mistaken it
for a return of pain. His face was pale, and his hand hovered above his wand as
though he were about to draw it and blast curses at the shadows of Voldemort
that still lived in Harry’s head.
But his
eyes told the real story. They were wide with fear and anger, and Harry knew
that was over him, for him.
His last
distrust of Snape, his fear that Snape deliberately wanted to cause him pain,
withered on the vine.
“Nothing,”
he said, as quietly as Snape had spoken the initial words. “I was just startled
when the headache went.” He hesitated, because there were some steps too big to
be taken yet, but then stepped forwards and caught Snape’s hand to shake. Snape
was too surprised to either resist or stop him. “Thank you, sir.”
Snape
leaned down and stared into his face. Harry looked calmly back, and tried as
hard as he could to project reassurance through his eyes.
In the end,
Snape seemed to find what he needed. His shoulders relaxed, and he said, “I
shall be sure to bring some potions like this with us when we go hunting.”
“You found
the information, then?” Harry demanded. He couldn’t believe he’d forgotten the
main purpose of their Occlumency, even for a moment. “What is the thing, and
where is it?”
“Ravenclaw’s
tiara,” Snape said calmly. “And in Hogwarts.”
Harry was
fairly certain that his own smile mirrored Snape’s shark-like grin.
*
Ayla Rouge:
Thanks! No, Harry won’t be going back for seventh year. And I do think that the
different group in this story will help him, though Ron and Hermione of course
would politely disagree. ;) Draco is certainly helping him with reducing stress
already!
qwerty: Snape
and Narcissa would be all right with killing Bellatrix, but they’ll keep her a
harmless prisoner instead.
FallenAngel1129:
Thank you! And even more details are coming up.
rafiq:
Thanks! I’m sorry for her relative absence in this chapter, but she’s thinking
things through and trying to decide if Harry is good for Draco. She returns
with a vengeance in the next couple of chapters.
Vibora:
Thank you!
MewMew2:
Thanks for reviewing.
Sneakyfox:
I do have to wonder. And I think there’s a hint in DH that he wanted to use the
Resurrection Stone and that’s why he got burned or poisoned trying to destroy
the ring.
Thrnbrooke:
Thanks!
Tree:
Thanks!
Nyale:
Thanks! The next chapters will be pretty action-packed, so I hope that you
continue to like them.
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