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End of Obsession	By : Juwel Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Snape Views: 50501 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 9
Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter fandom. The characters in this fiction are the property of J.K. Rowling. No money is being made from this and no trademark infringement is intended. This is purely for your reading pleasure.

Chapter List
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A/N: Sorry for the very long delay! My original writing career has taken off lately, and I haven't had much time for things outside work and family. The rest of this will be very slow in coming, but I will finish.

**

"Do you want to be 'dating'--as you say, 'for real'?" Snape asked, feeling his heart starting to beat a little faster, a little harder. This was going to be a dangerous topic, and not only for the fact that he owed Harry the truth about his arrangement with Lucius. He wanted to claim Harry. To be able to assert unequivocally that the young man was his. But he knew there was a price to pay for that. As well as risk to his weary heart.
"Aren't we already?" Harry asked in turn, looking at him. He looked so innocent. At least in this area, Severus reminded himself, for Harry had seen a lot of things those his age had not. But in this, yes, he was almost a child.
He tried again. "I mean dating exclusively, with the intention of having a serious, sustained relationship." Severus resisted the urge to make any quips about lack of brains. That time was the past. Harry was an adult now.
Harry blushed. "Oh, right. Yes. That's what I want."
Severus nodded, steeling himself for Harry's next words. "As I told you, I prefer a less conventional kind of relationship, that of 'Sir' and 'boy' as they say--dominant and submissive. You should know that in this lifestyle, it is common for 'Sirs' to have more than one boy."
At once, Harry's eyes narrowed. "That doesn't sound fair. What if the boy needs all the 'Sir's' attention?"
And indeed, that might be the case in this instance. "It isn't meant to be fair--it is more of a numbers situation. Submissives tend to be far more common than dominants." Severus sighed, because there was no going around it. He would have to tell Harry everything, and risk the consequences.
He put down his quill so that he could focus all his attention on Harry. "Submissives often have strong needs--like you. And I must confess, I was not entirely honest in describing my arrangement at Malfoy Manor. Part of the agreement was in fact to tutor Draco, yes. But there was second arrangement. It involved Lucius."
"I knew it! What did he want from you?" Harry sounded angry, disgusted, even. He sat back, crossing his arms in front of him, a lock of hair falling into his eyes.
It was perhaps one of the most difficult things in Severus's life to continue. "He wanted pain." He held up a hand before Harry could protest. "Let me explain." He watched Harry relax a little again. He had the strangest urge to reach over and take the young man's hand, but he resisted. Casual contact like that was still something Severus wasn't comfortable with.
Severus began. "I know that you shared the Dark Lord's mind at times, saw what he saw." He gave Harry a long, measuring look. "I don't know if you ever saw his more . . . carnal nature. Did you?" He hadn't seen any signs that Harry had been explosed to such sexual sadism, but he couldn't be certain.
Harry looked bemused. "You mean to tell me he--" He blanched. "Ugh! No. I'm thankful to say I don't remember anything like that. It must not have been important to his winning the war, I reckon. Most of my visions of him centered on that, or on him feeling very angry."
"I see," Severus said, not wanting to hear more. Bad enough that Harry had seen things like the attempted murder of Arthur Weasley. Bad enough that he had failed to teach Harry Occulumency. It appeared that Harry had seen a great deal more. "Voldemort used sex to prove the loyalty of his followers." He fought to keep his face and voice expressionless, recalling those sessions. "He also used it to punish."
Harry stared at him. Severus could almost feel the waves of anger coming off the young man. "You?"
Of course Harry would think that first. Severus shook his head. "I was actually generally in his favor."
Harry's face didn't change. "But still, you said to prove loyalty as well. So he--and you--"
Severus wasn't about to supply details. "Let us just say that I proved my loyalty as needed."
There was silence as an answer. Severus knew that Harry was trying to control his reaction, his expression, but nothing could hide the disgust in his face. "That's . . . I'm sorry," Harry finally said in a rush. "No wonder you don't want to bottom."
Severus blew out a breath in frustration. "We're off topic. Kindly let me finish." When he was certain that Harry was not going to speak, he continued. "In this regard, I actually fared better than some. Lucius, as you know, was not in the Dark Lord's favour. In punishment, he was made into a slave."
Harry's eyes grew wide, but Severus continued. "During the time that the Dark Lord resided at Malfoy Manor, Lucius became accustomed to a certain kind of treatment--and punishment. He finds himself still craving those things, even after the Dark Lord's demise."
Harry swallowed. "Draco--"
"Was never touched, as far as I can tell," Severus answered for him. "I believe, actually, that his father purposefully kept all attention to himself, to spare his family." At Harry's relieved nod, Severus added, "In basic terms, Lucius has become a masochist. While I was staying there, I delivered the pain and humiliation that he found himself requiring."
It was obvious that Harry was trying to stay quiet, trying not to interrupt, but Severus also sensed that he was disturbed by the notion. Severus couldn't help but add, "Realise that when we were younger, Lucius was considered quite the catch. Like me, he is also 'flexible' in his options."
"So . . . you've been having sex with him." It wasn't a question.
"Until I slept with you," Severus clarified, wanting Harry to be very clear on that. "Once that started, I wasn't going to continue that part of things until we spoke. Even in the realm of sado-masochism, communication is important. It wouldn't be right to begin a relationship on a deception." Which of course was why they were speaking right now, as painful as it was.
"Okay," Harry said, but Severus could tell he wasn't satisfied with that explanation. "This still probably would have been good to mention to me last night."
Too true, Severus conceded to himself. And that of course was due to his own little obsession with the young man. He'd selfishly wanted to be Harry's first. He'd seen the opportunity, and he'd grabbed it.
"I apologize," Severus said at length, looking down. He didn't want to see Harry's face, see the distrust, or the disappointment. "You are correct." This was never going to work, he realised. Harry was not the type to share with others. Or be shared. At least, not in this kind of way.
Harry stood up, the scrape of his chair against the stone kitchen floor loud in Severus's ears. Here it comes, Severus thought to himself. He could almost hear the thoughts which must be whirling in Harry's skull. "I don't want you to continue seeing him," Harry said, and that was regrettable, but it was better than the words Severus had expected to hear. Severus looked up to find Harry standing with arms crossed, looking uncomfortable. "Not yet, anyway."
What did that mean?
Severus stood as well, because he wasn't sure if Harry was about to retreat and leave him, or invite him upstairs. The young man seemed poised on the edge of either decision. Their eyes met, and for perhaps one of the first time in many years, Severus felt uncertain.

Harry's gaze mirrored the uncertainty. He looked up the stairs, then back at Severus, as if warring with himself, his hands gripping the banister. His shoulders slumped a little as he seemed to reach a decision. "Severus . . . I need you. I don't understand these things you're talking about--pain and dominant and boys and all that. I just know that I need someone here, with me, as much as possible. I want that someone to be you."
As Severus walked over to take Harry into his arms, he thought his heart would burst.
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End of Obsession