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Doing it for the Order Complete	By : Desert_Sea Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Snape/Hermione Views: 72673 -:- Recommendations : 6 -:- Currently Reading : 4
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any other characters/things/places created by J.K. Rowling. I make no money from my fan-fiction.

Chapter List
- 26
- 27
- 28
A/N: I wanted to get this up quickly as I don’t like to leave you hanging. Just need to let you know that this chapter is pretty heavy. Please don’t lose hope. DSx
Kvarta – ‘calling it "my venture in to the unknown" is a bit pretentious’ – I like that. And I promise to read the rest as soon as I finish my madness. ‘You and your wicked brain will get the wrong idea’ – so easily done! ‘oh, you wicked, wicked woman - you are dragging me to the dark side’ – always, and yes, cookie jar is always full :) ‘my birthday is in april - wrap him up with a bow ;)’ – LOL – Slytherin green perhaps? ‘if you hang out around Slytherin's for too long - you start to think like them :D’ – and of course you would know ;) ‘I'm sending you that insane creature of mine’ – she arrived, and now I’m a mess :/
Anon – I do like a cliffie. But I don’t enjoy prolonging the agony. Here’s your next feed :)
OO – ‘What the ever-loving fuck?’ – And that wonderful OO eloquence returns ;) ‘And now I can't stop saying devised to myself’ – chosen for a very specific reason :) I loved scudding too – I need to stop this mad writing and spend more time thinking of delicious words. x
Cyarsonix – You might be onto something ;)
Fox – So lovely to get a bunch of yummy reviews from you. You must hate playing catch up! ‘How is it, that she suffered punishment of the enchantment? She didn't with Severus.’ – She hid the contraceptive under the pillow when she first got into the bed. Then took it after Severus in preparation for Lucius (isn’t she clever ;)) ‘I hope cute is ok with you’ – anything you say is ok with me . . . and they are cute x ‘and another depressive thought’ – mmm, you may struggle with this chappie I think :( ‘definitely sweet, shockingly honest’ – yes, it shocked her too. ‘I can really see it, Hermione and her breast photoshoot poses!’ – hahah, I liked that visual too! And I’m really enjoying Parvati, she’s been a revelation! ‘Sex was so hot, totally my cup of tea!’ – I’m glad I could make you a nice cup of tea :) ‘how am I suppose to sleep now? It's 00:49 AM... your fault.’ – I accept full responsibility – and for this chappie too . . . and the next :/ ‘I (don't) hate to be a pain in the back side, as I have no shame. Hurry!” – LOL. I received this as I was just finishing up. I hope you don’t wish I hadn’t!
Ali – ‘I'm thick so I'm unable to fathom why he made/designed the enchantment...for himself’ – all will be revealed in this chapter . . . even more than you possibly want. I like your ponderings . . . can’t say too much more. I just loved ‘night nurse’ and ‘havering’ – delicious – although not so good that you have the lurgy. Hopefully you are giving it a run for its money. I did buy myself a vanilla slice by the way – see what a bad influence you are upon me? I left the cauldron cake behind ;) Hope you have supplies to get you through your snow-boundness!

Chapter 27 – Past Orders

Hermione’s lips moved but no words came out.
Finally she managed a hoarse, “What?”
Severus stood looking at the ground. He didn’t respond.
“What did you say?” Hermione ground out. “You made the enchantment . . . for yourself?”
His lips parted but still he said nothing.
“Severus. Tell me.” Her words were strained—pleading.
He shook his head as he turned his palms upward, clearly struggling with how to explain himself. “My books,” he said quietly.
Her face crumpled in confusion. “I don’t . . .”
Finally he looked at her.
“The enchantment was written a long time ago. Side notes in one of my books. It was stolen and ended up . . . in the wrong hands.”
“You wrote it? The enchantment . . . for the Muggle decree . . . years ago?” Her words came in disbelieving bursts.
“Yes. I was still a teenager.”
Her mouth fell open. “But why? Why would you conceive of something so . . . evil?”
“I . . .” He shook his head again. “I was . . . angry.”
“You were angry so you wrote an enchantment to force Death Eaters to rape Muggles?”
He wiped a hand across his mouth. “I must admit . . . I don’t understand the person I was then either.”
Hermione stared at him, suddenly realising how pitifully little she knew about him and his past.
“You were already a Death Eater?”
“Yes.”
“But back then Voldemort was even more determined to protect pure Wizarding bloodlines. Why would you even consider such a thing?”
“As I said. It wasn’t for him.” Severus’ voice suddenly rose. “It wasn’t intended to be seen at all. It was a . . . a fantasy written by a jealous and enraged young man. A fictional punishment. I’m equally disgusted by it now. But . . . at the time I was trying to reconcile . . . pain and betrayal. I just . . .”
He lifted a hand before allowing it to drop by his side, having seemingly run out of words.
Hermione was still churning through the explanation. There were so many parts that didn’t make sense.
“But who were you punishing? Death Eaters or Muggles? As far as I can tell the enchantment is a blight on both.”
“It wasn’t really about that . . . it was . . .” He looked into the fire with a deep sigh. “. . . It was personal.”
Personal?
Hermione clutched the arm of the chair. “Severus, who were you trying to punish?” Her voice held a note of urgency.
He continued to stare into the flames, his black eyes dancing but joyless.
“There were . . . certain individuals who made my school life a misery. It took me a long time to deal with it. I conceived of spells and enchantments as a surrogate for doing so. Some came to fruition. Others were never intended as anything other than . . . malicious . . . thoughts.” His words seemed to float away . . . light and distant.
“But the enchantment is so very specific.” Hermione tried to drag him back. “Every part has been conceived for a very specific outcome. Who was the intended target? A Muggle?”
He turned to gaze at her, a deep sadness pulling at his features.
“A Muggle-born.”
He’d mentioned jealousy.
“A Muggle-born . . . witch?” She leaned toward him, trying to catch his eyes. She needed to see them.
His eyes closed.
“Yes.”
Hermione felt as though she’d been shot with pure adrenaline.
“There was only one . . .” Her voice shook slightly. “Back then. It had to be Lily Potter . . . Harry’s mother.”
He didn’t need to respond. She already knew.
“And you hated her so much that you conceived of an enchantment for her to be raped?” Hermione looked at him as though seeing him for the first time. “What the fuck was wrong with you?!” she cried, thumping the chair.
Severus looked up, squinting as though in pain. “That . . . that was never the intention.”
“Then why? She would obviously be targeted. In fact she’d be sought after . . . she could be used again and again to . . . service them.”
The way he instantly raised his chin, as though recoiling from some awful truth, told her she was close. As a Death Eater, under the decree he could have potentially held her against her will and used her—punished her for any perceived wrongdoings. But he’d already indicated that that wasn’t the intention.
“How long after you conceived the enchantment did you defect and join the Order of the Phoenix?” she asked quietly.
“Two years.”
“Did Dumbledore approach you? Try to encourage you to return?”
His eyes dipped back to the ground. “On many occasions.”
“But early on you were still angry. She was there—a member of the Order. And she’d rejected you . . .” His eyes snapped up to hers. “Yet Dumbledore had promised to protect you if you returned. You knew the Order would look after you . . . appease you even.”
His jaw tightened but he didn’t attempt to defend himself.
“If the decree was in place when you returned, the Order would ask her . . . implore her even . . .” Hermioine’s voice was tight. “Tell her she was the only one with that unique ‘profile.’ That she was the only one who could be ‘trusted’. That if she cared about the future of the Wizarding world, she would do everything asked of her to protect you.”
She had to stop—the lump in her throat was choking her. But when she looked at him a fresh wave of anger surged inside her. “Even though she was married . . . they would have asked. And she would have agreed. She was that sort of person—brave and protective.” She drew a shuddering breath. “The sort of person who would risk her own life to protect her son.”
Severus was blinking rapidly, drawing in deep breaths of his own. But she forged on, her voice rising.
“You knew you could never attract her—you’d already tried that. So you chose some process that would force it.” She clenched her hands into desperate fists. “And you thought that if she had sex with you, that you’d eventually win her over. That eventually, over time, she would fall in love with you. Just like . . .”
Her hand flew to her mouth in an attempt to stifle the sob. He was there, arms around her but she pushed him away, lunging up from the chair. “Don’t you fucking touch me,” the strangled words tore from her throat.
His face contorted with emotion. “But it didn’t happen. They were just . . . foolish thoughts . . . fantasies. They were never meant—”
“I have fantasies and they don’t fucking look like that,” she shouted. She wouldn’t tell him what they looked like. Never again. Her heart wouldn’t survive it.
“Hermione.” Her eyes closed in pain at his voice. “I was stupid . . . immature . . . irrational . . . I was a fucking kid.”
“You were older than me,” Hermione ground out.
“But I wasn’t like you.” She opened her eyes to see the tears in his. “I could never be like you.”
She bit her lip, shaking her head as her own tears started to fall.
“I can’t tell you what I was thinking because I’m not that boy anymore. I don’t identify with him in any way. I didn’t return until I’d stopped thinking like that. I’d grown up. The Muggle decree and the enchantment that enables it are abominable. The shame I feel is indescribable. And I’ve spent my life trying to atone for my thoughts and actions in Voldemort’s service . . . please believe me.”
“And yet, despite this apparent ‘abomination’ you’ve never had a problem ‘performing’ for it. You’ve always managed to fulfill the enchantment despite knowing its origins—despite knowing that I’ve been fucking manipulated. That I was set up!”
“But I never wanted it to be you. I told them. I told them what a poor choice you were. You were a virgin for fuck’s sake,” he cried.
“And yet I agreed. I did it.” She winced from the emotional pain. “And it’s all played out . . . exactly as you intended . . . but with the wrong woman . . . more . . . fool . . . me.”
His face was in his hands. She pressed her arms into her stomach, trying to quell the pain. They stood together in silent agony for a long time until she finally spoke.
“Did you build in an exit?” she rasped. “A back door . . . to destroy the enchantment?”
Severus raked his hands through his hair before nodding almost imperceptibly.
“Does the Dark Lord know about it?”
His head shake was similarly slight.
“Why, then, haven’t you used it?”
“I can’t.” The anguish in his voice was palpable.
She fixed her gaze upon his ashen face. “Why? What does it require?”
He suddenly turned away from her, propping one hand against the mantel for support.
“Tell me how the enchantment is broken, Severus.” Her voice was raw. “You owe me the truth.”
“It was never meant to happen,” he whispered.
“But it did happen. It’s happening right now.” She threw the words at his back. “What is it? Blood bonded? Whose blood was used to create it?”
He released a wretched groan. “The Dark Lord’s.”
“Then whose blood can break it?”
Silence.
“Whose blood, Severus?” Her voice rose.
There was a long pause. “It requires a sacrifice.”
It was like a punch to the stomach. The world started closing in. She was struggling to draw breath.
“Let me guess . . .” Her chest heaved. “A Muggle-born witch?”
He didn’t respond.
“What did he use? To draw the blood?”
Severus’ voice was dead, emotionless. “A ceremonial dagger.”
“And in what manner is the sacrifice to be taken?” Her voice was shaking.
His back remained turned. “The same dagger. Just below the . . . navel.”
Hermione looked down, her eyes trawling over her own body.
“Her uterus . . .” she whispered in realisation. “If she spurned you, the exit was intended to kill her, and probably yourself. And it would ensure that if she was carrying a baby, it would be killed too.”
She was on the verge of being sick.
He turned back to her, his face desolate.
“It was never meant to happen,” he repeated hopelessly. “The entire thing was just angry, irrational thoughts . . . a feeble attempt at retaliation . . . hidden away inside a book . . . to appease the sad, pathetic creature that I was. It was never what I wanted. I didn’t even dwell upon it. It was just one of a number of externalisations . . . imaginings of power for someone who felt . . . essentially powerless . . . impotent . . . and alone.”
“You deserve to be alone,” she ground out bitterly.
“I know.”
A tremor captured his lips.
“And yet for the first time in my life, I’d let myself believe that it wasn’t the case. I never thought I’d be able to escape it . . . my abhorrent past. But these months . . . with you . . . admittedly of deception, of delusion . . . have been the best of my life. I’m undeserving of it . . . as you now know but I am . . . grateful. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. I’m sorry that you feel this was all a set up—a lie. But know . . . my feelings are real. Hermione, I love you.”
His tears were falling freely.
She couldn’t stand it any longer.
“I’m leaving . . . And please don’t follow me,” she rasped. “I don’t want to see you again.”
- 26
- 27
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Doing it for the Order *Complete*

Doing it for the Order Complete