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Lessons and Obsessions	By : LennaNightrunner Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Draco/Hermione Views: 85098 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT: RESISTANCE��

Hermione fidgeted in Draco�s arms. �What do you mean?�

Never one to pull a punch, Draco explained, �You haven�t
jumped me like that since you were punishing yourself over Weasley.�

She was cold, and the last thing she wanted to do was leave
what little warmth his body provided, but she pulled away from him. She bought
herself time by gathering her rumpled clothing and putting it back on, piece by
piece.

Draco watched her from the ground with an annoyed look on
his face before he finally stood and began to pull his clothing back on as
well. In hindsight, it would�ve been much better to have settled for a decent
shag with an argument inside the warm castle rather than a fantastic shag with
an argument outside in the cold.

Hermione tugged her cloak out from under Draco�s feet and
wrapped it around herself. She saw Draco do the same with his, and thought that
they would both look quite a mess if they were seen on their way back to their
dormitories: dirt on their clothing, cuts and scratches on their skin, leaves
and twigs in their hair. Hang on, Draco was combing through his hair with his
fingers now. He�d just have the dirt and scratches to give him away.

Draco gave Hermione a determined stare. �Out with it.�

She hesitated and avoided his eyes. Hermione wasn�t quite
sure why, but she was afraid. She had once been afraid of Draco Malfoy, but she
had long overcome that. Yet she was edging herself back against a nearby tree,
and as he advanced upon her she felt as if she were being cornered. She didn�t
want to tell him. Why had she even come here? Why hadn�t she just left and
never seen him again? It was so much worse to have slept with him again and now
to have to face him before leaving.

�I��

His eyes seemed sharp�painfully so.

�I have to leave.�

Her words were vague, but Draco discerned their meaning
instantly. Part of him wasn�t surprised. Part of him had known from the
beginning that this wasn�t far off. Part of him was still furious.

�When?�

Hermione ran her fingers through her hair distractedly. A
twig fell out of a tangle.

�Soon.�

�Let me guess,� Draco said in his characteristic drawl. �To
help Potter?�

She gritted her teeth in irritation as he leaned against the
tree in a carefully crafted pose of nonchalance.

�I should think that much was obvious.�

Draco�s jaw worked before he spoke again. �So you�re at his
beck and call?�

�No,� Hermione said defensively. �I want to go.�

�Why?� Draco�s eyes became sharp again as he looked at her.
�So you can die for Potter?�

�Thanks for that vote of confidence,� Hermione said coldly.
Part of her was glad that he was making her angry. It would be easier that way,
she thought.

Draco shrugged. Indifference would affect her more than
anger, he knew. He wouldn�t give her the satisfaction of getting a reaction out
of him. �That�s just what seems to happen to everyone else who tries to protect
him. Do you think you can break the cycle?�

Hermione felt a pang in the pit of her stomach. �I want to
help. If I can do anything to help defeat Voldemort, I want to do it!�

�And what if you can�t defeat him?� he asked sharply.

Much to her surprise, Hermione was momentarily struck silent
by the weight of that prospect. She had considered that possibility many times
before, but the way Draco said it made it sound so much more likely to occur
somehow. Did he know something she didn�t? Would he keep important information
about Voldemort�s plans from her just to keep himself safe? The thought chilled
her.

Still, she would not waver.

��Then yes, I�ll die.�

Draco snorted derisively and chucked a pebble toward the
lake.

�But at least I�ll die trying!� she continued, incensed at
how he was making light of the sacrifice she was going to make. �It�s worth a
try. Don�t you think it�s worth dying for?�

He turned, locked eyes with her, and raised an eyebrow. His
lips formed the smirk that had twisted the features of a boy that had once
amused himself by tormenting a muggle-born girl. His next question was
calculated to cut.

�Would you be dying to defeat the Dark Lord, or because
Potter needs you?�

Hermione was taken aback. In her mind, the two had always
been one. But Draco made it sound as if she were nothing more than a tool in
Harry�s arsenal; as if she would blindly do whatever Harry asked, even if it
led to her death.

She slid down the bark of the tree and slumped against it on
the ground.

Draco laughed bitterly. �So this�� he gestured toward the
red marks on his chest and neck that her teeth had made, �This was your way of
saying goodbye?�

�Yes.� Hermione flushed in shame and fixed her eyes on the
dirt beneath her feet. �No� I don�t know.�

�Oh?� His laughter was cruel. �Am I meant to wait for you to
return triumphantly?�

Why did he still have the power to make her feel worthless,
powerless? She looked at the dirt. Dirty blood. �You don�t think we stand a
chance of beating him?�

�It doesn�t seem likely.�

He didn�t know why he was saying these things. He was
hurting her. Maybe that was the point. She was hurting him, after all, wasn�t
she? She choosing them over him. She
was going to go off and get herself killed and make herself another martyr in a
long line of fools who�d thrown their lives away for Potter.

All she had wanted was for him to look the least bit sorry that
she was leaving. To give her a word of encouragement or faith. She should have
known better. Her throat ached, and she refused to speak if there was a chance
he would know how close she was to crying.

Draco�s features slipped from mocking to cold, and his voice
matched.

�I should�ve known you�d go with them in the end.�

Hermione struggled to clear her throat as she stood to face
him.

�They�re my friends,� she practically pleaded for his
understanding. �I have to help them.�

Draco felt the fury rise up within him. �And what am I?�

�I�� She tried to find something in his expression that
betrayed a sign that what she answered would matter to him. �I don�t know.�

�Someone who fucks you?� he spat. �Not a friend?�

�Draco�� She couldn�t quite resist the urge to reach out to
him, but he ignored her. �You know I care about you.�

��Care�?� His voice was acidic, harsh on his tongue. �That�s
a bit vague.�

�I�� Hermione faltered. �I like you.�

�Charming,� he sneered. �I didn�t know that anyone was
capable of that.�

His tone assaulted her like a physical blow. He had
retreated behind the wall he had held between them for so long, and it hurt her
more than she wanted to admit.

�Stop it!�

�Stop what?� he asked, though he knew very well what he was
doing.

�You know what I mean!� she said in exasperation. Her face
was flushed with emotion and there he stood, cold and hardly affected at all.
He looked almost bored.

He shrugged in feigned obliviousness. �I just want to know
where I stand.�

She stared at him. �Why do you even care?�

She was infuriating! How could she ask him that? Surely
someone so intelligent shouldn�t need it spelled out for her!

�Call me sentimental, but I just don�t much like the idea of
you getting killed.�

�Why�because then you couldn�t shag me anymore?�

Draco�s eyes narrowed in anger. She really was going to make
him say it! �Don�t pretend that this is still that simple.�

There was anger in Hermione�s eyes as well when she looked
at him. What was he playing at?

�Isn�t it for you?�

He stared at her in disbelief. �Is it for you?�

Fury and frustration threatened to overwhelm Hermione. It
wasn�t fair for him to stand there toying with her when it was already so hard
to leave. She wished that just once she had the power to hurt him as much as he
hurt her. She didn�t care anymore. Nothing she said seemed to have any impact
on him whatsoever.

�How could it be?�
she choked through the beginnings of tears. �I�m in love with you!�

Her hand flew over her mouth as soon as the words were out.

Draco had suspected it for some time, but it still made his
mouth go dry to hear her admit it to him aloud. He had told himself many times
that it didn�t matter to him how she felt. That what they had together had
nothing to do with love, and that it was probably better that it didn�t. But
every touch, even not long after they had begun seeing each other, had hinted
at an affection he had hardly allowed himself to hope she could feel for him.
Now that she was leaving, such a declaration only embittered him.

�There you go,� he said coldly. �Finally got it out.�

Hermione�s eyes burned and the first tears began to fall.
She had told herself that she was stronger than this. She had promised herself
that she wouldn�t cry in front of him again. Yet she had told him that she
loved him, and he had dismissed it with hardly a thought.

�Yet you�re running off to be with other men,� he said
lightly. �Women can be so fickle.�

Hermione�s anger flared again and she wiped the tears from
her face furiously. �It�s not as if you�ll be waiting for me to come back,� she
said bitterly. �As if we�ll get married and have halfblood children and
everyone will applaud us!�

Draco stared at her in silence. He had never really
considered what would happen if she were to stay, or if she were to leave and
return. There had never been a serious thought about what would happen to them
after Hogwarts, after the War. In a way, Draco had been certain that he
wouldn�t live long enough to have to worry about that.

She continued in a scathing tone. �Let�s not entertain for a
moment the idea that you�d be the least bit interested in anything of the
sort.�

�Don�t presume you know what I�m interested in,� Draco said
as every muscle tensed in outrage.

�Even if you did,� she said in a scathing tone, �and you don�t, it certainly won�t happen
while Voldemort is gleefully murdering every muggle-born witch and wizard in
Britain!�

�You don�t know what I want!� Draco had not believed that
she could infuriate him any further than she already had done, but he was being
proven wrong with every sentence she uttered.

�It�s not that,� she said firmly.

�I want you,� he said in a last-ditch effort to make her
understand. He even drew close to her to emphasize his point. �I�m sure you�ve
worked that out by now.�

His hand moved to touch her cheek, but she batted it away.
�That isn�t enough.�

He practically growled in anger and frustration. �What is enough, then? What do you want from
me, Granger?!�

�I�� There was a detailed list of everything she wanted from
him. And really, when it came down to it, they were all really only a part of
one thing. She looked away from him. �Nothing you can give.�

�Love?� He saw her start, ever so slightly, as he said the
word he hadn�t spoken without a sneer since before he could remember. �Is that
what you want?�

Something within her ached terribly, but she wouldn�t look
at him.

�What if I loved you?� he asked as klaxons blared in his
brain. �Would that make you change your mind?�

�Let�s not deal in hypotheticals.� Her voice was icier than
she had intended.

He bared his teeth and moved away from her. �You can�t tell
me that after eight months you expect
me to feel the same way I did in the beginning! You�re a great shag, Granger,
but not great enough to keep me interested for that long.�

She shook her head, now numb to his anger. �I don�t know
what I expect from you.�

Draco couldn�t believe it. He had said far more than she
deserved to hear from him, and still she wouldn�t even consider the possibility
of not running off to her death. He uttered a noise of disgust.

�We�re at war, Draco,� Hermione said quietly. �We have to be
brave.�

�I�m sick,� he
said in a tone that turned his own stomach, �of being brave.�

�Well, you won�t have to be!� she spat. �Stay here and
pretend you haven�t picked a side and then, when this is all over, you can go
home to your mother.�

�You have no idea what you�re talking about.�

His voice was low and dangerous, but Hermione�s hurt and
anger made her reckless. �Don�t I?�

�You�d better hope that Potter defeats the Dark Lord,
Granger.� He fixed her with his most penetrating stare. She didn�t seem to
understand the danger. They were all so certain that they would win, because
they had to win, but Draco knew
firsthand what it was like to be on the wrong end of the Dark Lord�s wand.
�Because if you get captured, there�s not a word I can say or a thing I can do
that will keep them from destroying you. You�d better hope you win, because if
you don�t we�re all worse than dead.�

A thrill of fear rushed through Hermione. He was warning
her. Through the bitterness in his voice she discerned that there were things
he had seen that might be beyond the shapeless nightmares that characterized
her anxieties about the months ahead. But she was a Gryffindor, after all, and
if she couldn�t face her fear for the sake of a larger cause, then who could?

�Then you should know better than anyone why I have to go.�

He laughed derisively. She didn�t know the half of it.

�Because of this,
Draco!� Hermione reached out and grabbed his left forearm. He cried out in
pain. �This is why I have to go!�

Draco wrenched his arm away and rubbed the throbbing skin
with his palm. It did nothing to relieve the sting, and he spoke to cut again,
as much to distract himself from the pain as to get back at her.

�If it�s any indication of how strong He is now, you won�t
stand a chance.�

She shook her head vehemently. She wasn�t going to let him
evade her point. He, of all people, had to understand why she had to do this.

�It won�t stop until he�s gone,� she said gently. �We�re
going to end it. Once and for all.�

�Or He�ll end you.� Draco threw up his hands in resignation.
�Give my regards to my dear aunt when she�s cursing you into insanity like
Longbottom�s mum and dad.�

�I�ll be sure to give her my best when you�re both rotting
in Azkaban,� she countered.

�Oh, it must be lovely now the Dementors are gone,� he said
with jovial sarcasm. �It�ll be like a long holiday!�

�I�m so glad I
decided to have this chat with you.� She turned to leave. She had had quite
enough. Clearly it had been a mistake to try to reason with him. She would�ve
been much better off leaving without telling him. This argument had helped
nothing.

But his strangely calm voice from behind her made her halt
in her tracks.

He said what he ever thought he�d need to in a last-ditch
effort to make her understand how much his confessions cost him. He would never
have gone this far just to torment her, and it infuriated him that she didn�t
recognize that.

�I could go with you.�

She sighed, rolled her eyes, and turned to face him.

�Yes, I�m sure you, Harry, and Ron would become the best of
friends.�

Draco shrugged. �Anything�s possible at this point.�

�You�re being ridiculous!�

�Apparently that�s how people act when they�re in l��

�Don�t say it,� she warned fiercely.

�Why not? It�s what you want, isn�t it?�

Did his cruelty know no bounds? Why couldn�t he just let her
go so she could have a good cry and move on with her life?

�You�re not in
love with me.�

The acid was back in Draco�s stomach. �Thanks for clearing
that up for me.�

Hermione�s fists clenched tightly, then released. �I only
have one more thing to say to you.�

His false smile was worse than any sneer. �I�m all ears.�

She took in every feature, wanting one last look before it
was all over. But he made it easy for her: the boy in front of her was nothing
like the one she had fallen in love with. The words slipped smoothly from her
lips.

�Goodbye, Draco.�

She turned to leave again. And in true form, he had to have
the last word.

�Do me a favor and invite me to the victory party before you
hand me over to the Ministry, won�t you? It�d be nice to have a bit of
chocolate gateau before they throw me in Azkaban with all the other Death
Eaters and Muggle-haters.�

His tone spurred her flight enough that she managed to get
out of earshot before the first sob escaped her.

*****

A/N: Please don�t hate me! I really felt like this showdown
had to occur. They�re both very stubborn and this is a very stressful and
emotionally-charged time for both of them. I�m definitely interested to hear
what you think. Two chapters to go after this, and I�m going to post them
together since one is an epilogue. So this is the last round of suspense! Woo!

Also, I totally forgot to respond to individual reviews last
time! What�s wrong with me? So here you go:

Liz�Thanks! I�ve really enjoyed trying to bring Ron and
Hermione back together. It�s right that they should remain close, in my opinion.
Friendships like that should be able to last these kind of crises. I had a lot
of fun with the disillusionment charm scene :D

angeles�It�s true. I think Ron will start to figure these
things out. He really does care about Hermione.

NatalieL�Aw, thanks so much! That�s a great compliment :) I�ll
be posting the final two chapters as soon as I can. Just gotta wait on the beta
at this point. Hope you enjoyed this one in the meantime, even if it was a
tough one to get through and not very uplifting.

caseyjarryn�Yeah, he�s being pretty adorable. I can�t tell you
the answer to what they�ll do but you�ll see soon!

Ella�Wow, thanks so much! I�m really glad to hear that. I
hope you�ll still be happy with it when it�s over!

Draco_Lover�Thanks :) I�m glad they�re still friends, too.
You�re right: you�ll have to wait and see how it shakes down with Hermione
trying to leave Draco and her friendships with Harry and Ron.

Anonymous�Thanks. Can�t promise any kind of particular
ending and I�ll finish when I get the chance. Hope you won�t be disappointed.

Charkohl�Thanks! I really strive for good characterization,
so that�s a great compliment. I�ll update as soon as I can, and I hope you�ll
be happy with the ending :)

marieve�Wow! Thanks! No, Draco will not be pleased. My
timeline for this fic is sort of strange: I insert a seventh year where Harry
is gone and then it sort of goes back to the things that happened during the
seventh year of the books afterward. I wanted to make it possible for this
relationship to happen without changing too much of canon if I could help it. I
hope the result is smooth and interesting. Yes, Draco can certainly be
frustrating, but I think Hermione can sometimes be as well, and that�s what
makes them a fun couple. Glad you�re liking the fic and I hope you like the
end!

kazfeist�Thanks :) I hope you�ll find what you wanted out of
the end when you read it!

Draco_Lover�Yeah it�s definitely hard to believe, but yes,
Draco knows what�s up, as I�m sure you could see from the epic fight. I can�t
give you the answers to your questions, but you�ll find out soon enough!

Mandy88�Nah, no Polyjuice. I hope you liked this update and
I�ll post the next one as soon as I can!

Mag7ical�Sorry about the cliffhanger! I promise that this
one is the last one you�ll have to deal with�only one post to go! Sorry I can�t
let you know what�s going to happen, but you�ll see soon enough!
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Lessons and Obsessions