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The Long Road	By : SinisterMe Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Snape/Remus Views: 63598 -:- Recommendations : 3 -:- Currently Reading : 18
Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction using characters from the Harry Potter world, which is trademarked by J. K. Rowling. This story is purely for entertainment purposes, no money is being made from it.

Chapter List
- 27
- 28
- 29
Severus allowed Remus and Teddy some more time together, reading over the requirements of the ritual, saying the words he had learned weeks ago, practicing them again anyway. He would be careful not to stumble or mispronounce a single syllable; such sloppy work created bonds with incalculable results. He didn’t want to trap both of them in some ridiculous loop purely on accident.
When he went downstairs it was nearly time for him to take Remus up to his room. He met him and Teddy in the living room, snuggled up together with Remus reading aloud to his boy. Severus took a seat, being as quiet as he could, listening to Remus voice come out sure and strong, holding no meekness or uncertainty. Again he found himself liking the sound; he hoped to hear it outside the realm of fantasy one day when Remus wasn’t reading to Teddy.
He could smell something wonderful coming from the kitchen, staying to listen for another moment before going to check on Fred.
“How is everything coming?” he asked.
“It isn’t what you was wanting, but it is being tasty!” the elf assured.
“When will it be ready?”
“Soon, soon. Sir is taking Mr. Remus upstairs; Fred will be bringing everything up. Then the little one is being taken care of and sir is being left alone for the rest of the night.”
“Sounds exactly as it needs to be, Fred. Thank you again.”
Severus went into the living room again, finding Remus done reading his chapter and looking at him expectantly.
“Your father and I are going to head upstairs for the evening; you and Fred will get to spend the rest of the night together,” Severus said to the boy.
“Okay,” Teddy said. “That sounds like fun. But first you have to see my dragon, sir! I finished colouring him this afternoon.”
“Certainly,” Severus agreed, coming closer.
Teddy hopped off the couch, picking his colouring book off of the coffee table and flipping to the correct page. “Here it is, sir. My German Spinescale!”
Severus leaned in to take a look at the picture, which was by all standards quite remarkable for a child Teddy’s age.
“This is amazing, Teddy. I’m very impressed with your attention to detail; you must have really taken your time with this one.” Severus looked down at the boy with what he hoped was a friendly expression on his face.
Teddy tried to suppress his grin. “Thank you, sir. Daddy liked it too.”
“Well, that doesn’t surprise me; it’s a very nice picture.”
“Okay; that’s all I wanted to show you sir,” Teddy informed him.
“Alright then, thank you for thinking of me. You behave for Fred and have a good night, your father and I will see you in the morning.” Severus bent down and whispered something discreetly in Teddy’s ear.
The boy went immediately over to Remus and enfolded him in a hug. “I love you, daddy,” he said.
Remus returned the embrace. “I love you too, Teddy.”
The boy let him go and backed up a little. “Is it alright if I go see Fred in the kitchen?”
“Most definitely,” Severus replied.
Teddy went on into the kitchen. Snape levitated Remus’ chair and walked behind it up the narrow staircase and into his bedroom. He set Remus down at the space he’d cleared for him at the table and took a bottle of red wine from the cabinet at the wall. He uncorked it and poured two tall glasses, setting one in front of Remus and one in front of the place where he then sat, placing the opened bottle on the table. With an idle wave of his hand the wick of the candle burst to light, flickering merrily with its new life.
Remus looked around the room, seeing the freshly made bed and the table set out as if for a fine dinner. He didn’t know what Severus was playing at as he watched him pour two glasses of wine and push one towards him. Was he supposed to take it? He sat with his hands folded tightly on his lap. This was all so sudden; he’d had no time to prepare, to brace himself to take whatever was coming his way, whatever Severus chose to give him.
Snape sat down and took his wineglass in hand, spinning the thin stem in his fingers and looking at Remus, whose eyes were flickering from his to the tabletop in nervousness.
“I suppose I don’t even know if you enjoy red wine,” Severus said out of the blue.
“I used to drink it, sir,” Remus replied.
“Well if you would care to, we will share a bottle with supper. Fred will likely bring it all up at once; I will be serving us,” Severus smirked.
“I’m sorry I’m not well enough to do it for you, sir,” Remus said sorrowfully.
“Even if you were; I would still do it myself.”
Remus nodded as if he understood, though he hadn’t an idea why his master would do that. If the point of having a slave was to care for and serve them, it wouldn’t be nearly as popular. Feeling like he had just been invited to and that he could use it to settle his nerves, he picked up his glass and took a sip.
“This is marvelous, sir.” It may have been years since he had drank his last glass of wine, but he could taste the quality instantly.
“It was a gift; I suppose I’ve been waiting for someone appropriate to share it with,” Severus informed him.
“Well I don’t know what vintage it is, but I know enough to be able to tell that the giver was very generous, sir.”
“Yes,” Severus agreed quietly, “he was.” He couldn’t help but know that Albus would approve. He’d had the bottle for years now; the last of a case of six that the Headmaster had given him one year for Christmas. He had been saving it, for what, he was never sure. It had felt right now, to drink it with someone who had also cared for the old man even though they knew how manipulative he was capable of being. All of this he left unvoiced, putting it into words would have been nearly impossible.
“Well thank you for sharing it with me of all people, sir,” Remus said honestly, taking another sip and feeling the smooth velvety taste of blackberry and current rolling over his tongue.
“It is customary to share a drink with supper; the ritual does not encourage or discourage the imbibing of alcohol. I am hoping it will allow us to relax, if only a little.”
Remus felt like he could take all the help he could get in that area at this exact moment. “Thank you, sir.”
Severus inclined his head. He found himself uneasy, trying valiantly to clear his mind. He hoped the peace it usually brought him would influence the bond in some positive way; few things were definite when one was dealing with this type of magic. He could have laughed at himself, hoping at every turn like some fool of an optimist that the magic wouldn’t find what he feared was inside him still: rage, hatred, a thirst for blood and power. Those things had sustained him for most of his life, but he’d found since that he hadn’t been living, not the way people were intended to. He’d carefully hoarded some measure of peace within himself these last few years; or he had thought he had at least. The bond would show what lurked in the shadows of his soul, like it or not.
He glanced up from his runaway train of thought to find Remus looking at him in a way that could almost be interpreted as concerned.
“Sir?”
“Just thinking,” Severus replied.
“About what?” Remus asked nervously. Anything that put that look on Severus Snape’s face couldn’t bode well for anyone.
“Nothing you or I can do anything about,” Severus said, taking another sip of his wine.
“I see,” Remus answered, though he didn’t. “What next?”
“Next is supper!” Fred’s squeaky voice was heard as he appeared near the window with a small table of silver lidded dishes.
“Thank you Fred,” Severus said.
Fred rolled his eyes and shook his head. His large eyes looked at Remus with a glow of fondness. “Sir is needing anything?” he asked, his voice losing the sarcastic edge it took when he spoke to Snape.
Remus was startled by the question. “No, thank you Fred, I’ll be alright.”
“Yes, you will,” Fred agreed, patting his knee lightly before disappearing.
Remus looked at Severus as if for an answer.
“I think he’s worried about you,” Severus said.
“What?”
“He’s worried about you. He’s more perceptive than most humans I’ve met in my life, he can probably tell you’re… uncomfortable, the same way I can.”
“I’m sorry sir; I don’t mean to give off a negative impression,” Remus said, though ‘uncomfortable’ didn’t even begin to express the anxiety he was feeling. He took a long drink from his wineglass.
“It was just an observation.” Severus stood and went to Lupin’s side. “I’m going to initiate the ritual now, but don’t worry too much. We have all night, Remus; we’re going to take this nice and slow,” he said, raising his wand. He slowly articulated the first segment of the bond, alerting the magic that they were initiating the invocation, touching the tip of his wand first to his own forehead and then to Remus’, who closed his eyes as he did so. There was a tingling that shuddered through him from head to foot; they had begun. He put his wand away.
“Now, we are going to have supper. Yes, it is the first part of the ritual, but other than that it is going to feel just like a regular meal; we should both take this time to attempt to relax,” Severus said, walking to the table that Fred had brought up.
He lifted the tops off of the plates until he found the starters; Fred had really outdone himself in the small amount of time he had had to prepare supper for them. He set two plates of fresh garden salad down on the table and returned with the small jar of homemade salad dressing that Fred had made before taking his seat again.
They ate their salads quietly. Remus tried to calm himself, focusing on every bite he took instead of his own inner turmoil. He still couldn’t believe how unbelievably crisp and flavorful the fruits and vegetables he was eating were. Severus ate the same thing they did at every meal without complaint or mention, a fact that still made him double take.
Snape cleared away the dishes when they had emptied their plates, stacking them and their lids neatly on the side of the table.
“Would you prefer the main course now, or in a short while?” Severus asked, standing by the table of food.
“It doesn’t matter to me, sir,” Remus said. He really had to stop doing that or Severus would stop asking his opinion on anything.
“We’ll wait a moment, then,” Severus took his seat again. “There is a preserving charm over the food; we have all the time we need.” He took up his wineglass.
“Of course, sir; thank you,” Remus said.
“It is not unusual to have a rest period in between courses; and there is nothing to thank me for, Fred did all of the work.” As he said it, Severus wondered if it wouldn’t have been better if he’d prepared the supper himself, it would have been another effort for the magic to see. It was too late now though.
“I understand that he prepared the meal. It’s just that when Macnair bonded with me, there was no supper or ritual bath, so I don’t know what to make of all this, I suppose,” Remus laughed nervously.
“You will find that he and I will do many things differently. I have looked at this entire ritual from every angle I can think of and have determined that to complete all of it, in full, with no shortcuts is the best way to have it work out in our favor. Still, there is no way to determine what the magic will do; but know that I have done my best, Remus,” Severus said earnestly.
“I wasn’t implying that you haven‘t, sir. Just that I’m quite nervous right now.”
“Anyone would be, in your position; there is no need to explain.” Severus paused to refill both of their glasses. “I’ll have to admit I am experiencing a small measure of anxiety myself.”
“You are, sir?” Remus wasn’t sure what Snape would have to feel uneasy about; he knew what was going to happen tonight and would be in control of it; whereas he himself knew very little of what would be expected because of how Severus was adjusting the bonding ritual and would have no control over anything ever again.
“Yes; we both expected to have several days to prepare ourselves before undergoing this, now all of that time is gone and we are adapting to that. It is justifiably unsettling.”
“Well thank you for understanding, sir,” Remus said, though he wasn’t sure that Severus understood at all from his explanation.
“I’m not claiming to understand, Remus,” Severus said, leaning forward a bit. “I suppose I just want you to know you’re not alone in this; I’m not Walden.”
Remus turned away when confronted with this statement; the intense look that came over the other man’s face had something to do with it. “I know you aren’t, sir.”
Severus wished Remus wasn’t so afraid of him and almost said so. He thought better of it at the last second, not wanting to spoil anyone’s appetite. This was supposed to be the easy part. He stood and retrieved the next dish, returning to the table and placing a portion in front of each of them.
Remus looked down at his plate in amazement before looking up at Severus with questioning eyes.
“Roast duck breast with raspberry sauce,” Severus said in way of explanation.
Lupin looked back at his plate, taking in the delicious aroma that was steaming off of it. There were also roasted new potatoes in what appeared to be mushroom sauce and a healthy serving of steamed asparagus. The last time he had seen a plate of food look this appetizing was long before the war ended. Of all the wonderful things he could say about Nymphadora, that her cooking was edible wasn’t one of them.
“It’s one of Fred’s specialties; he cooked for my grandmother for years and has a large repertoire of impressive dishes that he never gets a chance to make,” Severus said, amused. He began to cut into his duck, collecting some of the raspberry sauce and taking a bite.
Lupin was still looking at his plate, fork in hand, for all intents and purposes, immobile.
“It’s quite good, you should try some,” Severus said softly.
Remus cut a potato in half and ate it; his mouth automatically watered around the flavor.
Severus saw that Lupin was beginning to eat, so he continued to do the same. Taking a sip of his wine, he found that it was paired perfectly with the meal; Fred really did know what he was doing. He thanked the gods for the thousandth time that the elf was still with him today; and for more than just his culinary experience.
“Sir, this is fantastic,” Remus said at length, still agog that Snape would be serving him a meal this fine.
“I think so as well; it isn’t exactly what I had planned, but it is more than sufficient.”
Remus didn’t ask what Snape had actually planned for supper; if this was merely sufficient than it must have been something very grand indeed, though at the moment he couldn’t think of anything that could possibly be better than this. He put another piece of succulent duck to his lips, washing it down with a swig of wine.
“Sir,” he asked, “won’t the wine interfere with my Wolfsbane potion later?”
One corner of Snape’s mouth curled up the way it tended to when he was entertained. “By the time you are taking the Wolfsbane, the alcohol will have metabolized out of your body. As well, it is a non-enchanted vintage that was made entirely by hand; the lack of magic will prevent it from interfering with the work the Wolfsbane will do in your body.”
“That’s good to know, sir,” Remus smiled. “Though I think I knew it already on some level; I just needed to hear it for myself.”
“I believe we will skip the healing potion tonight; I’ll give you a dose in the morning and then again in the evening tomorrow to try and make up for the lost treatment. I believe that you will be under enough stress and pressure tonight that you will not need the extra mental distraction that potion tends to give. Sound good?”
“Sounds wonderful sir,” Remus said. Relief flooded him; e wasn’t looking forward to navigating his words and emotions tonight while under the influence of that potion.
Severus was taking his time with his last bites of supper, glad that Remus seemed to be becoming a little more tranquil. He pushed his plate away and leaned back in his chair. Remus was savoring every bite, making sure to soak up every bit of the raspberry sauce; he would have to tell Fred that his meal was a rousing success. Lupin made much the same motions as he had when he was done his plate, pushing it away and reclining in his chair.
“I’m quite full, sir,” Remus chuckled.
“Then perhaps you would like a moment to digest before dessert?” Snape asked cheekily.
“Dessert?” Remus asked, setting a hand on his full stomach. “Oh, I’ll definitely take that moment, sir.”
“Me too, I think,” Severus said, going over to the fireplace and getting a small fire going, its cheerful glow slowly crept over the room. He took his seat across from Remus and topped up both of their wine glasses.
“So we’re in the middle of the ritual right now, sir?” Remus asked, perplexed.
“Yes, there is no time limit to these things unless a person needs to invoke on a specific day or time of the year. For you and me, we really do have all night; as long as things are done in the proper order and I say the invocation correctly I have no fears that our bonding will not be successful.” If Macnair had managed it with the meager amount of effort he was certain they would be able to accomplish it easily.
“Okay,” Remus said in a small voice, a shiver going through him.
Severus knew Lupin wasn’t cold, but asked anyway, “Why don’t we move nearer to the fire; we can eat dessert over there when we are feeling up to it.”
Remus nodded. Snape levitated his chair nearer to the hearth and moved his own chair as well, placing a small end table between them so they would have somewhere to set their drinks. He took his seat, peering into the small but merry fire.
“Would you like to listen to some music?” Severus asked, looking over at Remus.
“Yes, I would love that, sir,” Remus said.
“I have a record player,” Severus admitted. “I’ve charmed it to draw power from a Kunzite crystal that I’ve syphoned some magic into.”
“That’s quite impressive, sir,” Remus said, never having heard of someone doing it quite like that before.
“What would you like to listen to?” Severus asked.
“I haven’t the slightest,” Remus replied, not having any idea what kind of music Snape would keep for his own personal collection.
“I’ll surprise you,” Severus said, standing and selecting one of his favorites, a small collection of Bach’s work he’d picked up at a muggle pawn shop some years ago. He put it on the machine, set the arm on the record and started the machine with a wave of his wand.
He sat beside Remus, who had a small smile on his face.
“Something you’d like to say, Lupin?” Snape asked sarcastically.
“Not at all, sir. I’m just pleasantly surprised is all.”
“Well when I came to start questioning my ideals, everything became uncertain. I started to look into muggle culture more seriously, researching the things it created, the people who created them. What I found mystified me. They kill themselves, persistently, ruthlessly; they seemed to be more dedicated on their own destruction than we were, for Merlin’s sake. But they also made things of great beauty; their art and literature, their music… I happened to find some things I rather liked during this period of research.”
“That’s very… open-minded of you, sir.”
“Yes, well it started off as a quest to prove my closed minded way of thinking correct. I just didn’t expect what I found.”
“Lily never shared much of the muggle world with you?” Remus asked.
“She tried I think, but she was so caught up in the discovery of her magic and that’s what we mostly talked about. She was brilliant and it didn’t take her long to figure anything out, I’m sure she only kept me around to pick my brain,” Severus said.
“I doubt that, sir,” Remus smiled. He’d known Lily too; she never did a single thing she didn’t want to do. She had defended Severus valiantly until that day at the lake; one of the more shameful moments of his life, which was really saying something. He’d just stood by while James and Sirius had hung Snape upside down and stripped him naked in front of a large group of onlookers. Well, he hadn’t stayed; he’d left before things got too out of hand, though he’d already known where they were going from the beginning. He hadn’t needed to stay, the entire school had heard about it by supper in agonizing detail. He wasn’t fool enough to bring it up now, but one day he would gather the courage to apologize for that.
“I lost you for a minute there,” Severus said.
“Just thinking,” Remus alluded the same way Snape had earlier.
Severus gave a huff of laughter. “I see,” he responded in kind.
They looked into the fire for a while as the sun began to set outside. After a length, Severus said, “Feel up to that dessert now? Fred will be very disappointed if we don’t eat it.”
“I think I could manage a few bites,” Remus said.
Snape stood and brought back both plates and the bottle of wine.
Remus realized that this would be his third or fourth glass of wine and despite supper he was feeling the warm glow of the alcohol.
Severus handed him a plate and fork. “Would you like another glass?”
“I believe I will have one more, sir, since you’re offering.”
“I will as well; that will be the end of it.” Severus filled the glasses and sat the empty bottle aside. He sat and placed his plate on his lap. “It’s a good thing that I don’t eat like this every night,” he said, looking down at what tasted at first bite like a pear and almond tart.
Remus made a sound of appreciation at his first taste. “Fred is very good at his job, sir.”
“Too good, perhaps,” Snape agreed, taking another nibble of his dessert.
The music crackled to a stop, Severus ate the last couple mouthfuls of his tart and stood, going to flip over the record before starting up the player again. He set his plate aside on the table, gathering Lupin’s as well, stacking them next to the others. He returned to his seat, looking at Remus in the dim light.
“I’ll see to your feet right away,” Severus said, looking over to where the cream and bandages were sitting.
“You’re going to change my bandages right now?” Remus asked, jerking his head up.
“It needs to be done. Everything can wait a few minutes while we see to it; I’ll add a protection spell afterwards so they don’t get bumped around too badly tonight.”
“Thank you, sir, for doing that for me,” Remus said. “I didn’t expect it.”
“I’m just full of surprises,” Severus said.
“Well, you kind of are, sir,” Remus smiled.
Snape stood. “Well I better get started before the shock wears off.” He brought the bandages and the cream over to where Remus was sitting and knelt in front of him.
“Sir, with the formation of the bond happening, do you really think this is such a good idea?”
“Could it be a bad idea for me to show a little patience and humility while the bond is forming?” Severus asked, breaking the pattern and removing his shirt instead of just rolling up his sleeves. He folded and set it aside before cleansing his hands and setting about the process of revealing Remus’ feet.
“I don’t think it’s my place to answer that, sir,” Remus replied, for once taking in the sight of his master kneeling on the floor at his feet, his head angled down and a look of focus on his features.
“Well then, it must be mine. In which case, I say that this is important and should not be neglected.”
Severus didn’t look up until he was done with both feet, charming them so they would be protected against any accidental knocks or whacks they may face later in the evening. He turned his face upward to gaze at the other man. While he wrapped them he repeated the words to the bond over and over again as a litany in his mind; hoping that would direct the magic to recognize his actions and the desires behind them. He would take care of Remus at all cost and wanted that to be on the forefront of his mind and of his soul, or what was left of it at least.
Snape looked up at the other man. “Do you need more time before we move forward?” he asked,
“No, sir. I’m ready,” Remus said, though that was depressingly far from the truth.
“You know that your hands will need to be bound and that you will not be permitted to see through the majority of the ritual,” Severus confirmed.
“Yes, sir; I do.”
“Would you rather I bound your hands or your eyes first?” Severus asked, hoping the question wasn’t taken in the wrong light.
“If I am allowed the choice I would ask that you tied my hands first, sir,” Remus admitted, not sure if Severus would do this or the opposite of what he asked. It would have been what Macnair would have done, just to mess with him and show him how worthless his desires ultimately were.
“Then I will bind your hands,” Severus agreed. “We will move to the bed first, I think. I would rather disrobe you without the use of magic. I believe that I will choose to bind you afterwards in order to facilitate that.”
“Of course, sir,” Remus said agreeably.
Severus looked up at him for a solid minute, waiting for him to acknowledge the fact that he was absolutely not alright with this scenario whatsoever. When no protest was forthcoming he stood, levitating the chair nearer to the bed as he had every night so far. He removed Lupin’s shirt as well, leaving him in the same state of undress as he was currently in.
“How would you like me to do this?” Severus tried again. The more shocking point form version of his last attempt to get a reaction out of the man hadn’t worked at all. Remus would respond better to a soft word; he should know that by now.
“Do I have a choice, sir?” Remus asked.
“You do if I give you one,” Snape said. “Would you prefer if I bound your hands or your eyes first?” he tried again, to make sure Remus had replied truthfully.
“My hands, sir.”
“Should we disrobe completely before or after this is all done?”
“After please, sir.” Remus already wasn’t making eye contact with him. He didn’t want to see the way Snape would look at him when they were both fully naked; for some reason the idea of it was completely unappealing. He supposed he didn’t want to watch this man, who had been quite kind up to this point, transform into a darker and more lecherous form of himself. He could hold on to his delusions a little longer this way.
Snape went to the other side of the bed and returned with what appeared to be a handful of silk. He knelt again at Remus’ feet.
“Give me your hands,” he instructed, hating the way his adrenaline was beginning to rise at the order.
Remus reluctantly stretched his hands out so Snape could reach them. He wasn’t expecting Severus to take and hold them lightly in his own, his voice breaking out in the methodical almost musical words that comprised the invocation. He focused on keeping his breathing even as he felt the cool cloth being wound around his wrists.
Snape began to chant before he began to tie the other man’s hands. He centered his thoughts, repeating over and over in his mind that although it was Remus who was being tied, it was he who would be bound. Bound to decency and respect, bound to protect and provide. As he began to fasten Lupin’s hands he imagined that vile part of himself that was reveling in this right now, that was feeding off of the fear rolling from Remus in waves; he imagined lashing the cord around that piece of himself and tying a knot very tightly.
When both wrists were tied together, Severus stood, going behind Remus and draping the remaining silk tie around him, positioning it so it would be spread wide across his eyes. He was chanting all the while, pulling the cord snug and knotting it, mindful not to make it too tight or to catch any of Remus’ hair in the tie.
There was no doubt that Remus was panicking. As soon as he had felt that blindfold being put in place his whole body had broken out in a cold sweat. He tried to move his hands, finding them tied securely together. He couldn’t stand or walk or run; there would be no way out of this.
He felt the air current that was Snape moving to stand in front of him again, no longer speaking the elusive words of the bond. Warm hands settled over his and he couldn’t help the startled jump he made at the contact. When he was blinded by Macnair, the other man had delighted in toying with his mind, using it to his full advantage. His lack of sight made him more than paranoid.
“Are the bonds too tight on your hands or eyes?” Severus asked.
Remus didn’t trust his voice, so he shook his head and hoped his master would think that was an appropriate answer.
Snape ran his hands over the knots, which vanished into smooth silk. Remus could pull on his bonds all he wanted; now there was no fear of the ties pulling too tight and cutting off circulation. Lupin would be in enough pain and anguish tonight without him adding to it with his carelessness.
“Good, I am going to move you over to the bed now,” Snape cautioned, casting the spell and maneuvering Lupin over to the bed and laying him down. “Now I’m going to remove the rest of your clothing.” He wanted to inform Lupin of his actions so as not to startle the man too badly.
He removed Remus’ pants and undergarments in one careful movement, leaving him exposed on the bed for only a moment before covering his body with a thin blanket.
Severus then took off his own remaining clothing, not bothering to fold it or put it away. If he guessed right, anticipation would be eating away at Remus right now and he didn’t want to leave him any longer than necessary.
A/N: Sorry about leaving it here; more to come soon!
Hope you liked it; this part has been giving me a wee bit of trouble, but I’m working through it as fast as I’m able. Thank you as always for reading, rating and/or reviewing this story, I’m completely blown away by the wonderful responses it has been getting, you guys are too kind to me!
Let me know what you think. More is on its way!
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The Long Road