Struggling Through New Beginnings | By : HarryGinny4eva Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Draco/Hermione Views: 31236 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1 |
Disclaimer: Spoilers - I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
Disclaimer: Spoilers - I do
not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from
the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Chapter 31
Pansy watched Ron dance with Lavender Brown for the
third time and turned away quickly to take a breath, so that she didn’t cry and
make a fool of herself. When a waiter passed with a full tray of champagne she
reached out and grabbed two glasses. Finishing the first in only a few gulps,
she placed the glass on the closest table and turned back to the dance floor.
He looked like he was having fun with the flirty Gryffindor draped all over him
and it made her heart hurt.
“Stop looking!” she berated herself and looked away from the couple to see
Draco walking in her direction.
“Hey,” he smiled at her. Then he followed her gaze when she lifted her second
drink for another long sip, “Pansy, you need to stop.”
“Stop, what?” she shrugged.
“Drinking for one.” He took the drink from her hand
and pulled her away from the table and out into the hall. Glancing into the
first room, he reached into the empty sitting room and flicked on the light. He
turned back to Pansy and frowned at her face filled with tears.
“Oh, Pans,” he sighed and pulled her with him to the couch.
“What’s so wrong with me, Draco?” she cried softly.
He tightened his grip on her hand, “Nothing. Not one damn thing, other than
your taste in men.”
“Don’t do that!” she admonished him.
“Gods, Pansy, you’re a wonderful woman who deserves someone who can see that.
If he can’t, then he doesn’t deserve you! He deserves that slag, Lavender.”
“Stop that! Don’t blame him,” she demanded as she pulled her hand away and
fisted her hands together in her lap. “It’s not his fault he doesn’t want me.
Look what I did.”
“For Merlin’s sake, stop that, dammit! Stop kicking
yourself over one mistake. One! All of you keep telling me that I deserve a
second chance and I did a hell of a lot more than that. You panicked. You were
scared. That’s all. You can’t keep punishing yourself for it, Pansy. In the
past eight years you have done nothing to deserve all the pain you are putting
yourself through.”
When she only cried harder he pulled her close and added, “Pansy, if he can’t
forgive you for being scared, then he’s not the man for you. You don’t need
Ronald Weasley!”
The gasp from the doorway made them stand and spin quickly to it. Draco’s face
paled slightly, but his chin rose defiantly. Molly Weasley stared from one to
the other, her mouth open in shock. And, Pansy moaned softly beside him before
she slowly slid to the floor in a mortification mixed with alcohol induced
faint.
Draco’s shock almost kept him from catching her and he struggled under her
weight as he lowered her to the floor as gently as he could. He called her name
and slapped her cheek a few times to get her to come around, but she didn’t
respond. He didn’t notice Molly come up beside him as he searched his pockets
for his wand to bring Pansy around. He grunted in frustration when he
remembered they’d been forced to leave their wands at school.
“Move aside, Mr. Malfoy,” Molly said as her hand tapped his shoulder.
He looked up at her ready to protect Pansy from her wrath, but only saw
motherly concern on her face.
“She, uh…she…” He had to blink twice to make sure he really saw the soft smile
bloom on her face when she looked down at Pansy.
“It’s okay, Mr. Malfoy, I’ll take care of her. Go back
to the party; it’s about to wrap up.”
“But,” he began only to stop when she looked up at him and ordered in a very
no-nonsense manner, “Go.”
Her authoritative tone made him push back and begin to back out of the room.
But, he worried about what Molly would do and say to Pansy when she revived
her.
His foot had barely crossed the threshold when she added, “Please shut the
door.”
He hesitated as he didn’t want to leave Pansy alone with a volatile Molly
Weasley, but he didn’t see where he had a choice. He slowly did as she asked
and when the door was closed he leaned back against it and closed his eyes. He
didn’t know quite what else to do, so he just waited.
xxxxx
“Enevenerate.”
“Wha…what happened? I…” Pansy opened her eyes and looked into the twinkling
blue-green ones of Molly Weasley. Even as she started scrambling to get up, she
started babbling, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…”
“Pansy, calm down!” Molly said quietly as she started
to get up. Then she reached out a hand and looked up at the younger woman
sardonically, “Uh, a little help?”
Pansy’s eyes widened a little, but she took a tentative step toward the woman.
“I won’t bite you, dear,” Molly laughed softly.
Pansy couldn’t smile, as her entire body shook, but she took another step and
reached out her hand to help Molly off the floor.
Molly got up and turned to sit down on the couch. She patted the seat beside
her, “Have a seat.” When Pansy’s face leeched of all color, Molly sighed and
put her wand on the table beside her. Spreading her hands in a sign of peace
she said, “I just want to talk to you. I owe you an apology.”
Pansy tried to control her breathing as she eased down onto the couch, as far
on the opposite end as she could get. She couldn’t stop herself from shaking,
so she clasped her hands and hoped Ron’s mother wouldn’t notice.
“Okay, so first, as I said, I owe you an apology. As my family has pointed out
to me over and over again, I, uh, spoke to you rather harshly earlier and
without provocation. I am sorry.”
Pansy, wide-eyed, nodded her acceptance as she waited to see what Molly would
say next.
“Now, I must confess, I um, overheard some of your conversation with…that boy,
and I need to ask, so that I am clear. Did I hear correctly that you are
interested in my Ronny?”
Pansy gasped and surged to her feet, “I know I shouldn’t be. I’m sorry.
I’ll…I’ll…”
“Breathe!” Molly commanded sharply when the girl looked ready to pass out
again. When Pansy gasped a quick breath, Molly smiled encouragingly and tried
again. She stood and folded her hands in front of herself and tried to look
stern, but approachable.
“Let me rephrase the question, dear. Do you honestly like my son or are you and
that boy planning something? And, don’t lie to me; I raised seven children,
I’ll know.”
“I…I li…like him, Mrs. Weasley, I promise,” Pansy
stammered almost begging the woman to believe her. “I’m not planning anything
with Draco. I’m not.”
Molly stepped forward and took the shaking girls hands, “Okay, there there, I believe you. And, I think you need to sit down
before you fall over again.”
“Now,” Molly conjured a glass of water and put it in Pansy’s hands gently,
“just take it easy and sip that. I know you’re wondering, especially after this
afternoon, why I am here with you. Well, let me explain. I have been following
that boy all night. Drink up dear, then we can fix
your makeup and get you back out there. You see, I love my children more than I
can explain, and I consider Harry and Hermione mine. What you did last year,
well I…well that’s neither here nor there, let’s just say I overreacted today
and that wasn’t fair to you. What that boy said earlier, well I’m ashamed to
admit it, but I find I must agree with him. You were just as scared as everyone
else and you made a mistake.”
Pansy nodded stupidly, “I was. I was petrified.”
Molly patted Pansy’s hand as she nodded, “Oh, I know that dear. I know. And, I
knew that earlier today, too. I was just thinking too much about Hermione and
that bo…well,
let’s just say I took my frustrations out on you and that wasn’t fair or
right.”
“Oh, okay,” Pansy nodded again, her face a mask of confusion. She wondered briefly
if Ron’s mother had some sort of bi-polar disorder, but her thoughts scattered
completely when Molly continued.
“Well, that’s that then. Now, let’s get you all cleaned up,” Molly smiled as
she stood to face the younger woman.
“Uh, yes Ma’am,” Pansy answered, dazed and confused.
While Molly conjured a little mirror and make-up set and proceeded to fix
Pansy’s face, Pansy just stood still in her shock.
“There, pretty as before,” Molly smiled as she stepped back.
Pansy just stared at her, “You aren’t angry with me?”
“Oh Merlin, no. Why would I be?” Molly laughed.
“Well, because, um, well, Ron and, um,” Pansy stuttered.
Molly stepped forward, took both of Pansy’s hands in hers and leaned close with
a soft smile, “I said I believed you earlier and I do. He defended you today
when I, well earlier, and that means he sees something in you to stand up for.
My Ronny is a great judge of character. I don’t know what, if anything, is
going to happen between you two, but if he likes you, then Arthur and I will stand
by his decision.”
Pansy sniffed back a fresh round of tears, “Thank you, Mrs. Weasley, but I
don’t think he…”
“Now, now, none of that. We just fixed you up. Now, go
on back out there and have fun. There’s only a short bit left before we have to
get you lot back to school.”
Pansy smiled and nodded as she left the room. She still wasn’t sure how it had
happened, but…
“What did she say to you?” Draco demanded from his place against the wall.
Pansy turned a bemused smile up at him, “She gave me her blessing to date Ron.”
“What?” Draco said as he straightened from the wall.
“Yeah,” Pansy said as she walked away and down the hall away from him.
Before he could follow her Molly stepped out of the door, “Oh!” she exclaimed
in surprise. “What are you doing lurking out here?”
Draco bristled at her waspishness, but bit down on his tongue long enough to
hold back the retort that had readily formed. Then he answered, “I was waiting
for Pansy.”
Her hands went to her hips and she lifted an eyebrow imperiously at him, “Well,
I don’t see her here, Mr. Malfoy.”
“She just went down the…,” then he sighed and started to walk away. “Never mind.”
Molly let him walk away and watched his shoulders droop as he walked. She felt
herself soften for a moment, but then remembered all the things he and his
family had done to hers. “He’s still a Malfoy.” With that reminder she followed
the blonde man back out to the party to continue her surveillance of him.
xxxxxx
All too soon the party ended and it was time to go back to school. The students were sent back up to gather
their things, while the Weasleys helped the Grangers
quickly clean everything back up. Bill took care of carefully obliviating the memories of the Granger’s staff to remove
their memories of the decorating and clean up magic done, before sending them
off to bed or home. Then everyone met in the backyard to apparate back to
school.
Hermione said her thank yous and goodbyes to her
parents and the Weasleys, while the various Weasley
family members took turns apparating the students
back to the gates of the school, where the Headmistress and Professor Mills met
them. Hermione was the last to leave and Bill had the honor of being her
escort. When she joined the group, Professor McGonagall opened the gates and
led the group back up to the carriages and back to school. The laughter and
chatter was heard clearly across the grounds as everyone recounted events from
the day with their friends. Arriving at the castle Hermione hugged and thanked
most everyone one last time as they parted in the foyer in front of the Great
Hall.
“I am so glad you enjoyed it, Hermione,” Pansy smiled. “And, I have so much to
tell you tomorrow!”
“Same here, but what? What happened?” Hermione asked.
“Tomorrow,” Pansy smiled. “Tonight, I just want to get downstairs and get out
of these shoes.”
“Okay, we’ll talk tomorrow,” Hermione laughed. “But, don’t forget one tiny
detail!”
Pansy waved as she walked away, “I won’t.”
No, Pansy couldn’t forget a thing; it had been too surreal a day. Speeding up,
Pansy practically flew to her room. She had to get started writing in her
diary. As up and down as it had been, she didn’t want to forget a moment of it.
Hermione laughed to herself as she watched Pansy
sprint down the hall and then turned back to the rest of her friends. As the
group laughed and joked around her, Hermione couldn’t shake the feeling that
someone was staring at her. She tried to ignore it at first, because between
her friends, patrolling teachers, and ghosts, there were more than a few things
that could watch you in the halls. But, when the feeling didn’t go away, she
began to look for its source.
Partially hidden by a pillar
not too far from the rest of the group, stood a lone
figure. She knew he hadn’t been mixed in with the group of
people saying goodbye to her, as she’d watched him out of the corner of her
eye, when he’d skirted the edge of the group and kept moving towards his rooms.
But, she smiled softly when she realized he’d only gone as far as where he
stood then, waiting for her to notice. She couldn’t make out his face in his
hidden spot, but she was pretty confident in the look he would have been
wearing and blushed a bit in memory of their dance.
As soon as he knew he had her attention, Draco
stepped more into the light, gave her a small bow of thanks and then pulled a
rose he’d transfigured from what had been his pocket quill from behind his
back. The chattering crowd didn’t notice him, nor did they notice Hermione
staring at him, and Draco didn’t want to draw their attention. So, when he knew
she was watching, he stepped back into the shadows, leaving only his arm and
the rose in the light. With a whispered charm he let go of the flower and let
it float next to the wall before he turned and hurried to his room.
Hermione stifled the urge to break from the group
and run after him, but couldn’t contain her glee over his actions. As soon as
he slipped away she turned to see if anyone else had noticed him or his gift,
part of her hoping they had so she would have someone to talk about it with,
but the other part hoping not, so she would have a memory of him all her own.
Her wish was partially granted. Theo would not say anything about what he’d
seen unless she brought it up to him, so she got to store her first completely,
perfect memory of Draco in her head as she hurried over to the wall to grab the
red rose with its white tips. She faked picking up something from the floor as
she carefully put the flower inside her coat and turned back to the group with
a face-splitting smile.
xxxxxx
The rest of the weekend flew by and all of the party participants kept talking
about the various parts of the day. Many of the other
students who had not been able to attend asked questions of those who had,
getting them to relive or explain all the muggle activities. Other
students giddily gossiped about the wealth of Hermione and her parents, much to
her chagrin.
Blaise had tried to block out the incessant chatter of his friends most of the
day Sunday. When the Weaslette sat in front of their
fireplace for almost an hour after breakfast and talked to a million people
about their day, he had gone to his room and shut the door forcefully. When
lunch rolled around and he had to listen to people congratulate and question
Granger throughout it, he cut his meal short and went to the library where he
stayed until dinner. Instead of enduring the torture again later, he ate dinner
alone in the Head’s kitchen and then went to the pitch to fly until dark.
Thinking to finally put it all behind him, he returned to his rooms only to
find Theo, Greg and Pansy laughing with the Weaslette.
Even if he had wanted to stay and listen, which he most certainly did not, the
look Pansy gave him let him know he was not invited into their conversation.
He rolled his eyes at her and went upstairs, where he slammed the door solidly
behind him. He moved to stare blindly out of the window as he muttered to
himself.
“And, remember how the band played that one muggle song? Ohhh,
I’ve never seen London from that height! Golly gee willickers,
I wish I was Hermione. She’s so…UGH! Why? What have I done? They’re supposed
to…”
The pent up anger finally flared and he couldn’t contain it. He had not said
anything when all of his supposed friends had abandoned him to spend the day
with Granger. He had bitten his tongue almost off in an effort to not stop them
from talking about it all damn day. But, to have HIS friends sitting in HIS
rooms, on HIS furniture talking with and about Hermione Granger and her day was
just too much.
Flinging his arms and head back, he screamed out his anger and frustration. He
didn’t notice or care that he let go of all control and his magic seeped out of
every pore. All he knew was he needed some release, some relief from the
confusion he’d lived in for the past few weeks. His eyes were closed as he took
another deep breath and let out another gut-wrenching cry. And another and
another, and…
“…hell are you doing?!” Ginny’s voice finally broke
through his yells.
He whipped around to face her and opened his eyes to see not only her and his
friends in the doorway, but the utter devastation that had been his bedroom.
The instant silence was as loud as the screams as they all stood staring from
each other to the room and back.
Finally his broken voice broke the quiet, “I…I just…”
“Guys, go find Draco,” Pansy said softly as she took one tentative step into
the room.
When no one else moved she turned her head and her scared, pleading eyes met
Ginny’s, who took charge immediately.
Ginny directed the two men with them to go and find Draco. When they
left quickly, she walked more fully into the room, shut the door, and looked at
Blaise. What she saw tore at her heart. There was no other word for the look on
his face, the feeling that radiated from his being…broken.
She stepped closer slowly and waited until Blaise’s eyes met hers. She saw his
shoulders hunch and his eyes harden, even as his face remained mostly blank.
“Why don’t you guys go to my room,” she suggested quietly. “I’ll…I’ll take care
of this.”
Blaise didn’t move or comment, but continued to stare at her, so she moved
forward slowly as she continued. “Pansy, I’ll send Draco to meet you when he
gets here. You two just go talk, okay?”
“Okay,” Pansy said warily, “But…”
Ginny stood in front of Blaise and looked him in the eye, as she cut into
Pansy’s statement quietly. “No buts, Pansy. You two go. I’ll take care of it.
It’ll be okay. I will make sure it’s all okay.”
Blaise saw her in front of him, and wondered how she’d gotten so close. He knew
he’d ruined everything. He’d let his temper get the best of him and now she’d
surely turn him in and he’d lose it all. Then the way she looked at him somehow
broke through the screaming silence in his ears and it filtered through that
she said it would be okay. He couldn’t catch a good breath. He only knew he had
to keep looking at her, keep eye contact with her. He wanted to believe her. He
wanted everything to be okay again, but he didn’t know what okay was anymore.
He did know that the look in her eyes held promise, held hope. She, the Weaslette, the Gryffindor Queen to Potter’s King, the
second bane of his existence, was somehow going to make it okay. He didn’t feel
himself nod, nor notice when she took his arm and led
him quietly from the room. All he knew was she never stopped looking like she
would keep her word. And, although it went against everything in him, he chose
to believe she would.
Without knowing how he got there, he found himself sitting on Ginny’s bed with
Pansy holding his hand. He watched Ginny’s eyes as she backed slowly out of the
room and quietly shut the door. And, when the door shut he released the sob he
hadn’t realized he’d been holding back. Instantly, he felt Pansy’s arms wind
around him and hold him tightly. And, although he knew later he would be
embarrassed by his actions, at that moment all he felt like doing was curling
into a ball and crying until the pain stopped. So, that’s what he did.
xxxxx
“Oh, Blaise, I don’t hate you. I was, am,
frustrated with your stubbornness, but I could never really hate you.”
“But, you…”
“I was angry. I still am. The things you’ve said and done to them have been
horrible, and, for no real reason. You haven’t even tried to…never mind.
Blaise, as angry as I get with you; I could never hate you. You’re my friend.”
“Still?”
“Always.”
“But, what about…”
Draco stepped away from the door he’d only opened a crack and looked down at
Ginny who stood beside him. She looked up at him sadly and motioned for him to
follow her. He glanced back at the door before he followed her across the short
hall and into his friend’s room.
When he entered the room he stopped dead. The bed was blackened and parts of
the blankets were still smoldering; the wardrobe and dresser little more than
piles of ash. The door to the closet hung on one hinge and the contents spilled
out as if blown out by a bomb. Each wall was scorched and the paintings hung
awkwardly, their occupants left cowering in the corners of the frames. There
was little left of the beautiful room he had seen only the night before.
“What happened?” he asked in shock.
Ginny shrugged and then bent to lift up a pile of books, “Do
you want just the facts or my opinion of them?”
“Just the…” Draco started, but then he remembered the look on Blaise’s
face, and the sorrow on Ginny’s and changed his mind. “Why don’t you tell me
both?”
Ginny nodded, but continued to move about the room straightening what she could
as she told him her version of the night’s events. Then, she pulled out her
wand and continued.
“But, I think he just needed to get it out. He’s been holding back, holding it
in. He’s angry, frustrated, confused…just everything. And, he’s had no one to
talk to; no one on his side, so to speak. Then all this stuff with Hermione’s
birthday yesterday and, well, I guess maybe he feels left out.”
“He didn’t want to go,” Draco reminded her, speaking for the first time since
she’d begun.
Ginny moved to the bed and put out the smoldering bed covers, “I know. I don’t
think he did want to go. But, no one wants to feel like they aren’t a part of
something.” Then she stripped the ruined sheets from the bed and began to
repair the frame.
Draco watched her bustle around the room as she explained and her movements
made him jittery, “Merlin, would you stop that?!”
“No! I promised him it would be okay,” she said stubbornly as she continued.
Then her voice broke a little, “I promised him I would make it okay. I have to
fix it.”
His confusion was complete as he watched her regain control. He began to
question her, “But, he…”
“He’s a student in this school, Malfoy. He’s my fellow Head,” she interrupted
with another shrug. And, then she looked him in the eye and said softly, “And,
he’s someone who needs help, needs someone. Even if that
someone is me.”
Draco’s defenses kicked in, “He has friends! He has…”
“Calm down,” she sighed heavily, “you’re as bad as Ron
some days.”
“Hey!”
This time she laughed a little, “Sorry, but it’s true.”
Sobering, she sat on the fixed bed, “I think Blaise is going through the same
thing we all did. We just did it over the summer and at home with our families.
He’s alone and he knows everyone is, in his estimation at least, against him.”
Draco crossed his arms defensively and glared at her, “So what? You want
everyone to start telling him he’s right in his thinking? I thought you, of all
people, would…”
“No, Malfoy!” Ginny snapped. Then she took a calming breath and continued, “I’m
sorry, Draco. I’m not saying it right, I guess. Look, I am not saying he’s
right and I’m not saying all of you should start telling him he is. But, maybe
you need to listen to him more. Talk to him, not at him. He’s as lost as you
were at the beginning of the summer. What did you want and not want then? What
was the thing that made you listen; opened your eyes?”
When he didn’t answer, but continued to look as if he was listening, she sighed
and got up to fix the wardrobe. With her back to him she said, “You had your
mother, your counselors, and the familiarity of a home to help you get through
it all. Blaise has none of that. He needs your help. He needs your
understanding, not your approval, but to know that you still believe in him. He
needs his friends.”
She waited for him to acknowledge her words in one way or another. But, when
she heard him move away without speaking she assumed he had left the room.
Turning, she saw him across the room silently washing the walls and
straightening the pictures with his wand. She smiled to herself and turned back
to her task.
A short while later, the room was back to its basic former glory; and Ginny
left to get sheets and blankets to replace the ruined ones from his bed.
Neither she nor Draco had uttered another word as they worked in companionable
silence to put the room to rights, each lost in his or her own thoughts. So,
when she returned and found the room empty, she figured he’d left and that she
had failed.
“Well, at least I tried,” she said to herself as she finished. Then, needing a
moment to clear her head, she went to the window and stared out at the grounds.
She didn’t know how long she’d stood there, but she was startled out of her
thoughts by movement behind her. When she turned around she saw Blaise standing
in front of Pansy and Draco in the doorway.
She watched him look at her and at the room. Then his dark eyes came back to
rest on her as he took a breath.
“Thank you,” he finally said quietly.
“Of course,” she answered unsure if she was meant to say more.
“I don’t…um, are you…what I mean is…”
She understood and shook her head, “You had a bad night. We all have them. I’m
off to bed. You guys have a goo…um,
talk to you tomorrow.”
She moved away from the window and crossed the room to them. They parted so she
could pass, but Pansy reached out and squeezed her hand briefly before stepping
into the room with Blaise. Draco stepped back into the hall and called her name
softly.
“Yeah?” she asked as she turned back to him.
“Thanks. You didn’t have to be so decent about this. You could’ve…well, thank
you.”
Ginny paused before she tilted her head and smiled softly up at him, “You take
care of mine; I’ll take care of yours.”
Before he could fully comprehend her meaning, she’d turned into her room and
shut the door. When he finally got it, Hermione,
a smirk formed slowly on his face as he said to the now closed door, “Thanks,
again.”
xxxxx
Author’s Responses: Thank you so much
for reading and reviewing! You gave me love for Valentine’s Day! :-)
bLondpierogi: Wow, that would
have made for a really sucky birthday. I am so sorry!
I am really glad you’re enjoying the story. I actually left NYC a few years
ago, but I lived there for almost 6 years, right in Manhattan. :-) There are
days when I still miss it….
Mrs.DracoMalfoy & marie: Thank you!!
Alexiel Almasy: Thank you, too.
Here’s a cbyerhug for you – {Alexiel
Almasy}.
kazfeist: Darnit! But, thank you. They are both fixed now. And, the
second one was an error or stupidity. In the original sentence I only had Ginny
in it. Then, while giving it a last read-through before posting I realized I
hadn’t put Parvati in there and added her. I changed ‘her’ to ‘their’, but
completely skipped over ‘was’ and ‘were’. Sigh. I hate making mistakes like
that. I’m REALLY glad you found them. Thank you! I am also glad you enjoyed the
chapter and congrats on the roses, even if he was away. Mine was the 2nd.
Happy birthday to you, too, my dear!
margaritama: I loved loved loved that I could turn you
into ‘a pile of goo!’ I am so very glad you noticed her inability to be normal
around him. It does come into play soon. lol Yes, the
Draco we know and love is reemerging and isn’t a lovely thing. ;-) ‘The game is
afoot!’ I like that. ha haha And, Ron…I know.
PutrescentQueen: I hadn’t read
anything about shoujo Manga,
but the comparison was lovely, amazing and humbling. Thank you so very much.
You make me WANT to try my hand at a real novel. Maybe
someday…
Dreamweaver: No worries, hon. Take your time. :-D Thank you!
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