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You Will Not Kiss Me	By : Prosperosdaughter Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Snape/Remus Views: 22836 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: JK Rowling & her associates own the Harry Potter universe and I make no money from my stories.

Chapter List
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Chapter 29: Back to School

Snape was packing up his equipment in the cellar carefully, whilst Lupin packaged the various Potions Snape had brewed for the school over the past fortnight. Snape found he minded packing very much. The farmhouse had been like a dream for him: the happiest of places from the rescuing this relationship up to this very day. It had not only been a place of physical and emotional passion, but of the best company of conversation, reading, chess, good food, even day tripping, but ultimately of understanding, love and restoration. He felt whole. He had never really understood how fractured he was before, but now he was whole, he understood his own underlying damage more.

If he had a choice (and he wasn't sure that he did), he would ask Dumbledore to let him stay here with Lupin. He could run a Potions business by post. It would be lucrative and would provide them with an ample living. He was an accomplished Potions Master of no small repute and was always being asked to fulfil private orders, but rarely undertook commissions as his work at the school as Professor and Head of House was time-consuming. Without worrying about making a living because of his affliction, Lupin could undertake the research he loved so much and be at liberty to take on only what interested him. At the full moon, Lupin could run, and Snape would fly with him. They would love each other as and when they chose. They would be free.

Sooner or later, the Dark Lord would return. When he was defeated, Snape would be free. Free of the Dark Lord. Free of Dumbledore. And this life would be his reward.

"Penny for them?" Lupin said, looking at Snape intently, who was staring at the box he had been packing.

Snape stroked Lupin's face. "I'm being maudlin," he said. "I just don't want to leave." He suddenly wanted Lupin him to take him here in this room. He wanted it badly. He wanted Lupin to love him as much as possible before they left.

Lupin hugged him. "Neither do I, but duty calls."

He kissed Snape who responding fiercely, taking Lupin by surprise, palming his cock and massaging his balls through his trousers, then untying his trouser cord.

"Merlin, Severus," Lupin gasped through the searching kiss, hooking his hands under Snape's shirt and pulling it off as Snape pulled Lupin down onto the stone floor, almost growling, "Now!"

"The floor is cold ... uncomfortable ..." Lupin murmured, taking off Snape's trousers with trembling hands and Snape pulled off Lupin's shirt.

"But you are not. Take me here," he said breathily, enjoying the feel of the cold stone floor against his back and the hot searching tongue probing his navel and travelling up his stomach and chest to his neck and mouth, and the questing fingers between his legs building his hot passion. He writhed, moaning, against the cold floor. It felt excellent with the heat travelling at speed through his body and drawing insistently on his groin. And as Lupin thrust into him, making Snape cry out, pushing him hard against the cold stone floor, he shuddered with greater pleasure. Lupin, declaring his love noisily, rolled into him deeply and rhythmically, stroking his cock, exciting his nerves and passion to breaking point and Snape cried out, coming hard, followed by Lupin's orgasm.

Eventually, Lupin rolled away, and they lay, panting, side by side on the cold stone floor, as good as mesmerised. Snape understood. The stone floor was mountain stone and, cold as it was, it welcomed them and always would.

Tomorrow morning, they would leave for Hogwarts. Both men had packed and their trunks and packages were all shrunk and waiting by the front door. Snape was quiet, and it was obvious that he didn't want to leave. He didn't want to go back to Hogwarts, for the first time he could remember. More than that, the time was getting closer that Lupin would leave for Egypt. They hadn't really talked about how they were going to organise things once he did. Snape tried to quiet his distressed mind until Lupin moved closer, circling his thumb on his neck bite to calm as he held him close and whispered to his ear:

"I will return to you as often as I can, I promise you. It won't be easy for me either, Severus, to go from having my mate with me all day and all night to not at all. I have to earn a living, you understand that." There was a slight edge of pleading in his voice.

Snape wanted to say that Lupin could live with him, they could have family quarters for they had those at Hogwarts for married professors, Snape could keep them, his own wants were few, he had money. He wanted to say all those things but knew it would be pointless.

He himself had made it impossible for Lupin to live with him in Hogwarts by revealing his affliction. Oh, the staff would be fine – they loved Lupin; but the parents and children would never countenance it; the Ministry would never authorise it. They might have done if they were bonded – all the wizarding world recognised the sanctity of the soul bond, but his Dark Mark prevented it. It was his fault they were to be parted and his fault alone.

"Severus," Lupin's voice was barely audible. "This is our last night here. Please don't be sad. We'll come back next summer."

The sadness in Lupin's voice snapped him out of his reverie and he smiled at Lupin. He had planned a special meal for them and he took Lupin to the kitchen with him to prepare it. For the first time since he had arrived, he Occluded his mind so he could push his negative thoughts away and enjoy this night, but something else was also troubling him.

"What will we do when you transform, Remus?"

"I've been thinking about that a lot," Lupin confessed. "My need to be with you last full moon was terrifically strong and you felt it too. It's because I Claimed you fully. I've been wondering how we can accommodate that – you and I. I think that was the happiest full moon of my life, Severus, thanks to you." He squeezed Snape's waist to him.

"Not running with your school friends?" Snape arched an eyebrow.

"My friends made my life happy, but I don't recall the full moons very well, if at all, my mind was still wolfish when they ran with me, but they could control me so we could run, and I didn't injure myself so severely. It was different. Last full moon, I had my mind completely but ... I could run," Lupin said with wonder. "You were right, Severus, it blew my mind utterly. I thought it would burst with joy, and you flying along with me, just made it perfect." He kissed Snape. "We'll need to see what arrangements Gringotts make for transforming and see what we can do. I hope I can be with you." Lupin sounded quite concerned. Snape wondered if it would be physically detrimental to Lupin or even to him for them to be apart now Lupin's Lycanthropy mingled in Snape's blood through his Claim. He asked him.

"Truthfully, Severus, I don't know. You and I haven't tested it yet. I was so relieved, physically and mentally, when you stayed with me this month. I don't know how bad it would be without you. I don't want to know, if the truth be told." He clasped Snape's hand. "I've heard some werewolves can become quite deranged if they are separated from their mates. I don't know if Wolfsbane makes a difference. Let's not worry about it tonight, Severus. We will see when I hear further from Gringotts."

After they had eaten, by unspoken agreement, they walked to the summit of Cadr Idris and made slow and languorous love on the stone over hours, taking each other to the edge, then pulling back, over and over, to make it last as long as they were capable of doing so. Then, held in each other's arms lying on the stone, they listened to the dawn chorus and watched the sun rise before dressing and Apparating back to the farmhouse for breakfast and to start their journey back to Hogwarts.

They Apparated back to Hogsmeade and took the Floo from the Hog's Head to Dumbledore's office.

"My boys," Dumbledore said, happily, as he surveyed them both. "You both look so well. Cadr Idris suits you, I think. You look quite ... restored." He looked knowingly at them both over his glasses. It maddened Snape. "Remus, you'll be staying with us, I understand, until the end of the month. Perhaps, you'll assist us in our preparations?" Dumbledore had a tray of tea prepared for them and gestured for them to sit down.

"I'd be delighted," Remus said excitedly as he removed his light travelling cloak, taking Snape's from him. Snape had wanted to go straight to his quarters, still cross these ten days had been taken from him and not feeling companionable with Dumbledore at all, but he had reckoned without Lupin who clearly relished the idea of being involved, no matter how peripherally, in preparations for the Triwizard Tournament.

Dumbledore told them the staff news over the summer which prompted Snape's question.

"Who, may I ask," said Snape stiffly, "will fill the post of Defence against the Dark Arts Professor this year?"

"Under the circumstances of extra security required, I have sought another favour of an old friend. This year I have prevailed upon Alastor Moody to assist us."

"The Auror? Here?" Snape scowled, trepidation mixing with nausea, recalling the many relentless interviews conducted by Moody before Dumbledore had vouched for Snape and removed him from the Ministry's clutches.

"Mad-Eye!" Lupin said, happily at the same time.

"You know him?" Snape asked tersely.

"Yes, I know him well through the Order in the Wizarding War. He's always been very good to me, even though he knew I was a werewolf. When will he be arriving? I'd enjoy seeing him again."

Snape sometimes wondered at Lupin. As far as he was concerned, Moody was a monster. He'd as good as put Snape on the rack to try to coerce confessions from him. Still, history is written by the victors, is it not?

"He's due at the end of August, so hopefully, you'll not miss each other," Dumbledore said convivially.

"Well," said Lupin smiling, "the students will certainly be learning Defence from the sharp end!"

Dumbledore talked them through the planning and execution still needed for the tournament and how Snape and Lupin could help, and advised that meals would either be held in the staff room or in their quarters as they wished until term began. The first planning meeting would be that afternoon after lunch.

Finally, Dumbledore handed over some post he'd received for Lupin yesterday but had held onto until their arrival today. Lupin put the letters in his pocket of his robe and then they left for Snape's quarters.

Snape was surprised how very nervous he was to have Lupin back in his quarters after the fraught events of last term. Lupin clearly picked up on Snape's discomfort and worry. He strengthened the wards on Snape's quarters.

"Severus," he said, as he took Snape in his arms. "Shall we go to our bed before we do anything else? Reclaim it, as it were?"

Gratefully, Snape led the way.

They lay together in Snape's bed, tangled in the bedclothes together, slick and satisfied from their rather emotional exertions. Snape had never thought to have Lupin in his bed at Hogwarts again. His head and emotions reeled as he listened to Lupin's heart beat fast as they both recovered their breath and Lupin stroked his hair and back.

Snape Summoned tea to be sent to his drawing room. Once he heard the departing pop of the house-elf, he Summoned the tray to them in bed and sat up to serve it, although Lupin barely released his grasp of Snape's body to do so. Snape enjoyed Lupin's almost constant physical attentions. They made him feel attractive and wanted. He wondered how he would feel when Lupin left for Egypt to have none of these attentions at all.

Then Lupin said, "That reminds me. I thought there was a Gringotts envelope. Let's see."

Lupin Summoned the post from the robe that had been thrown off onto the floor. There were three letters. Still holding on to Snape, he opened the first which bore the crest of Gringotts.

From the desk of William Weasley, Esq.

Curse-Breaking Division,

Gringotts Bank (International),

Cairo, Egypt.

"How perfectly pompous," Snape said dismissively.

"Severus," Lupin said warningly. "That will be Gringotts' stationery, not his own."

Remus,

We're pleased you've agreed to join us here. Following our chats, I'm attaching your itinerary for the various peripatetic projects we have so far scoped for you for the next nine months. I think you'll have an interesting time with us, and I'm looking forward to you joining the team. The work can be hairy and demanding at times, but for a scholar of your calibre, I hope you'll find it rewarding.

You'll find the Bank is a decent employer. It has no problem employing Lycanthropes (you are one of a number in the employ of Gringotts world-wide) and, as agreed, your Wolfsbane Potion is part of your remuneration and will be provided in-house. Your itinerary takes account of the lunar cycles for the period of the contract. As we work as required and don't have weekends off as such, the Bank doesn't really have issues with the couple of days you need per month.

You'll need to let me know where you prefer to transform. Given the highly individual circumstances under which we met, I didn't ask you whether you have a Mate you need to transform with and, if so, what arrangements we can make to accommodate this for you, such as a half-way meeting point etc. Let me know, and I'll see what we can do.

"Are you feeling guilty yet, Severus, for mis-judging him?" Lupin teased, grinning hugely, his relief at the prospect of being able to arrange to see Snape at the full moon writ large on his features.

"No," said Snape contrarily, "I don't know that I have mis-judged him yet. That said," he softened against Lupin's body, "I am relieved. Perhaps we will at least see each other every twenty nine days."

"You are incorrigible, Severus," he kissed the top of Snape's head, then carried on reading the rest of Bill's letter and the itinerary. Snape closed his eyes, feeling greater relief than he'd admitted to Lupin at the tone of Bill's letter and the welcome news of arrangements for the full moon. He didn't read along with Lupin as he finished the letter and the itinerary. Lupin said the second letter was the formal letter from Gringotts containing his terms of engagement, which Snape took to cast his pedantic eye over, whilst Lupin opened his third envelope addressed care of Albus Dumbledore.

Lupin looked at the handwriting, and Snape realised Lupin had become tense and he stopped reading the Gringotts terms.

"Sirius," Lupin whispered as he opened the parchment with a charm Snape did not recognise and read it, holding it just out of Snape's view. Well, he had no entitlement to read Lupin's post after all, so he turned back to Gringotts' terms, only to be surprised when Lupin gave him the letter to read saying,

"I'm sorry for what it says, but I'll have no secrets from you."

Moony, my dearest friend,

It has taken some time but I have found refuge in a much more temperate climate than Scotland. I cannot see those who would Kiss me finding this climate at all conducive to their well-being! I'm sending this to Albus, hoping he will know how to contact you.

But the first order of the day is my heart-felt apology to you.

I'm so sorry my precipitate and ill thought out behaviour has been one of the causes of your secret being revealed. I managed to purloin a copy of the Daily Prophet to see the stink. I hope Albus was able to shelter you from the storm. How can I ever make it up to you?

Of course, it without saying that it's also Snivelly's fault. Some things never change. That snake never could keep his greasy hooked nose out of other people's business. Well, we'll find Wormtail eventually and, when I'm cleared, I'll ensure Snivelly's dirty laundry is shown to the public again. How can Albus trust that Death Eating snake at all, let alone with children? If you knew what went on in Slytherin! But that's a story for another day and not for now.

All that said, I can never describe to you the solace I have that at least you now know it was not I who betrayed Prongs and the Flower to Voldemort and your forgiveness for my lack of trust in you means the world to me. You are my only family and friend and mean everything to me. I hope we can be in touch soon.

Albus knows how to contact me and I hope to hear from Harry. Please write. I long to hear from you, old friend.

Your friend ever, Padfoot.

"No better or worse than I would expect, frankly," Snape snorted dismissively at the silly code names. "Flower" for Merlin's sake!

But his stomach churned at the reference to the Lake. It roiled seeing that it was clear Black knew what had gone on in Slytherin. It burned that Black tried to implicate Snape as a perpetrator of that - now or then - and wondered if he was deliberately obtuse. That must be how Black justified his own behaviour to himself.

No, Black knew Snape was a half-blood and no better than a Catamite in that House in his early years. He had no justification at all. In fact, to Snape's mind, it made Black's behaviour so much the worse for knowing how Snape would have been treated, and thinking that he, too, was entitled to his pound of Snape's flesh, one way or another. He hoped Lupin had picked up on it. Merlin knew, Lupin's hoped-for truce between them looked further off than ever, from Snape's point of view. But he would not be the one to say it. He would not start a row between them: he had learnt that lesson very hard indeed.

"He's been in prison for twelve years, Severus," Lupin said softly, "for something he didn't do. I have to help him. You can tell, he doesn't know what sort of reception he'll get from me. He's not taking my acceptance for granted. You'll see, when he realises what you mean to me, he'll come round."

"I know you want to help him, and I'll try to co-operate with you," Snape said. "But he'll never accept us. You mustn't think he will. You'll be disappointed in the long run. That letter tells me all I need to know."

"We'll see," Lupin said, not sounding quite so sure as before.

"So you're determined to tell him about us?" Snape asked quietly. "It might be easier for you if you didn't."

"You are my mate, Severus," Lupin said emphatically.

"Will you tell him about the Thrall?" Snape asked, almost holding his breath, knowing with absolute certainty that Black would accuse him of casting the Dark magic himself to snare Lupin if he found out about it.

Lupin considered this, which surprised Snape. "No. No, I don't think so. Sirius would never understand. I'll write back. But I need a couple of days to think about my answer."

Snape relaxed into Lupin's body once more.

Lupin wanted to have lunch with the staff in the staff room. Snape did not, but acquiesced to Lupin, although not particularly gracefully. How would he explain Lupin's return to the school without divulging the personal nature of their relationship? He didn't like to say this for fear of hurting Lupin's feelings, who he was fairly certain would take out an advertisement in The Daily Prophet if Snape would let him. Snape thought most people would consider The Quibbler the more appropriate publication for the announcement of the Claiming of a notorious Dark wizard by a publically discredited werewolf. It cheered his heart that Lupin was so proud to have Snape as his mate, but Snape's deep reserve and fear of public humiliation never left him, and sometimes threatened to overwhelm him.

However, when they entered the staff room, Dumbledore boomed, "Ah Remus. Thank you for accepting my invitation to assist us. That really is most kind of you. How have you been?" With that, Lupin was surrounded by a gaggle of well-wishers and Snape was not noticed at all.

He gave Dumbledore a curt nod of gratitude and went to help himself to the buffet lunch, then stood ramrod straight to the side and watched Lupin converse easily and laugh with, it seemed to Snape at least, all the staff at once.

Poppy made her way over to him. "Nice to see you, Severus. Albus told me your treatment at St. Mungo's was a complete success. You look well and rested," she smiled at him and looked quickly at and away from Lupin. "Did you both have a good summer?"

Snape stiffened, until he recalled that night in the side ward. Denying it to Poppy would be a grave insult to her, he felt. "Yes, Poppy. Thank you." He gave her a small tight smile.

"I'm so very pleased," Poppy said kindly and patted his hand lightly. A small gesture of kindness. It took his breath away.

After lunch had been cleared away, Dumbledore set out the first plans for the Triwizard challenges as currently approved by the Ministry.

"Dragons," Minerva snapped. "At Hogwarts. Dementors last year. Whatever is the Ministry thinking of?"

"Publicity, I dare say," Snape purred. "It will be a publicity coup for the Ministry if this comes off well."

"But is it safe?" Minerva demanded.

"Mr. Charles Weasley and his team are providing the dragons from the reserve in Roumania. They will be there to oversee proceedings. It will be quite safe," Dumbledore soothed. Snape snorted. Albus's favourite phrase: never yet proven true!

They discussed the underwater challenge at length and started to discuss the initial layout and obstacles for the maze wherein the Triwizard Cup would be placed. Each professor and Lupin contributed ideas for this.

"I'm still very unhappy about this Albus. You know how impetuous teenagers can be," Minerva said, shaking her head. "Dragons! Merpeople! Grindylows! Sphinxes in a maze!" her voice rose with each danger recited.

"Kittens in a basket," Lupin whispered to Snape conspiratorially, causing him to snort loudly at the unexpected joke.

Minerva shot Lupin a stern look that made him shift uncomfortably in his seat, Snape noticed and smirked.

"Now, now, Minerva," Dumbledore twinkled. "I have suggested and agreed with the Heads of Durmstrang and Beauxbatons and it has been agreed by the Ministry that there should be an age restriction of seventeen on entry." There was an excited murmur of conversation amongst the staff. "I hope that will address a major part of your concern, Minerva."

Minerva's mouth was a thin line of disapproval. Snape thought it probably had done no such thing and he didn't blame her. At least, Potter shouldn't be able to involve himself in this! Snape thought with satisfaction. Perhaps there'd be a quiet year for once.

"We also need to do something about Peeves. After all, it wouldn't do to have him in full voice in front of the other schools," Pomona commented.

"The Bloody Baron," Lupin said. "He's the only ghost Peeves has ever taken notice of. Perhaps, Severus can enlist his aid." He smiled at Snape, who nodded.

"So, I think we should sort into teams to set up each challenge and for certain other tasks, such as hospitality for the away terms, for Ministry official and so on."

"I would be interested in setting up the Lake challenge," offered Lupin, with no trace of irony or humour on his face that Snape could detect, "with Severus, if that would be acceptable?" Not even so much as a tug at the corners of his mouth as he looked at Snape for acceptance. Oh, Snape could see how Remus Lupin hardly ever suffered detention: he was shameless.

"Of course," Snape said.

"Excellent choice. Plenty of Dark creatures in the Lake for Remus to deal with," Dumbledore smiled as they moved down the itinerary. One more if you include Remus himself! Snape thought wryly.

"We may have to take a reconnaissance swim, Severus," Lupin whispered, very confidentially, to Snape, with a small unobserved stroke behind his knee, as Dumbledore continued talking.

Lupin wanted to write to Bill as soon as possible about his transformation. The next full moon was due on 19th September so there wouldn't be much time to arrange things if he left it until he joined Gringotts on 1st September. He wrote to say that he did, indeed, have a mate with whom he wished to transform. His mate's travelling to Egypt would not be practical, being employed full-time in this country so they would be grateful of suitable accommodation half-way.

When he finished, he and Snape walked over to the Owlery to send the letter.

"It's nice to be here without the children," Lupin said as he released the owl and then pressed Snape up to the wall in the Owlery to kiss him.

"At this moment," Snape sighed, "I almost wish they were to save me from your predations. This place is filthy!" he managed to say breathily, as Lupin started to nuzzle under Snape's cravat as he ground his hips against him.

"No sex amongst the owl droppings then, Severus?" Lupin said mournfully.

"No sex amongst the owl droppings," Snape said firmly,

"Where then?" he said, hopefully. "The castle's ours. Come along, Severus, be a devil. Live a little." He grinned wickedly. "Isn't there anywhere you've fancied before? Come on, anywhere at all?" Lupin would not be deflected from Snape's neck and had managed to work his way to his Claiming bite, loosening Snape up considerably.

"Do you ...remember ... the ... prefects' bathroom," he just managed to pant out as Lupin probed the bite with his tongue and his hands found their way into Snape's robe and under his shirt to stroke his sides.

"Marvellous idea. I'll remember that," Lupin murmured into his skin, as he spelled Snape's robe open and took him in the Owlery just the same, but against the wall, not on the floor.

"We need to work a charm between us for our letters," Lupin said, as they drank some tea before going to bed, "so that only we can read them."

"That was what you chanted when you opened Black's letter?" Snape asked.

"Yes, we four had a spell worked between us. So, now you and I need to work one just for us. They're very reliable. Can't be broken by another caster, unless you tell them the incantation, of course."

"Is this so you can be as wanton with me in writing as you are in person?" Snape smiled fondly at Lupin and kissed him.

"Not wanton, Severus," Lupin feigned hurt. "Very probably, highly personal though."

"How personal will you be?" Snape asked, feeling a small hitch in his throat.

"Well, enough that I don't want busybodies reading our letters, and seeing how much I miss you ..." Lupin trailed off, with a distant look in his eye. He rallied and said smartly, "There'll be students who would try to read your letters. I know the type."

"Remus, that's because you are the type," Snape said drily and received a broad grin in return.
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You Will Not Kiss Me