Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Shame's Desire	By : dweek Category: Harry Potter AU/AR > Het - Male/Female Views: 32597 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 3
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Ginny-
When I wake after our first night in the palace, I feel both bleary-eyed and energized. My body aches, but my soul somehow feels filled with new life. Opening one eye, I find that I am in the bed, even though I don’t remember anything after passing out. I rub my wrists as I remember the rope and I see they have left a mark on my skin.
I smile at it before sitting up to see if Lucius is still in the room. I frown noting I am alone. I need to talk to him after last night, so I gingerly slip out of bed and wrap myself in my dressing gown before I see if he is out in our sitting room.
The last thing I expect to find is my husband sitting pleasantly with Hermione and Harry of all people. My eyes widen as I look at the scene where everyone seems to be being perfectly pleasant to one another.
“Darling you’re awake.” Lucius gets to his feet to greet me with a kiss on my cheek. “I told them how you needed sleep in your condition.” He explains smoothly. “But Master Potter insisted that they wait for you to rise.”
“Oh. Then I should clean up and dress.” I say because I’m not even wearing anything under my dressing gown.
“No, no, you need your energy.” He waves my comment away with a mischievous look in his eyes. I can tell he knows exactly what I am wearing, and he is having fun with this game too. “Come sit by me, my dear.” He adds leading me over to the table so that I can’t get away from him.
I can’t help but blush as I take my seat, and I definitely can’t look at either of them.
“How was dinner last night? The Emperor said you were very pleasant company.” Hermione starts and Master Potter coughs as if that is news to him.
“It was fine. He is very kind to welcome us personally.” I say giving Lucius a glance and he returns a pleased smile.
“In fact I should be off. I have a more formal meeting with his Majesty very soon.” He says taking one last sip of tea before kissing my cheek again and rising from the table. “Now that you are here to entertain our guests, I feel they are in good hands.”
“I wanted to talk to you.” I tell him when I realize he is about to leave me here with them.
“I told you I would be busy while we’re here.” He reminds me as he leans down for another kiss, this one was a little obscene and I can hear Hermione sort of giggle as Harry growls. “I’ll be back tonight.”
I look around wondering what I am supposed to do all day. He said I can’t leave the room without him, but I don’t know if maybe I can with Hermione.
“You have fun. I am sure you are in good hands with these two.” He says giving me a last smile before he heads out the door.
I sigh and look at the toast in front of me before I remember I have guests. They are both now looking at me with a sort of worry look in their eyes.
“How are you feeling?” Hermione asks awkwardly.
“Actually much better since the ball, thank you.” I say giving her a smile to try and put her at ease.
“I shouldn’t have left you with him.” Potter suddenly blurts out and Hermione and I both look at him. “Lord Malfoy. I should have found some way to stay, you were obviously in shock and I’m sorry for abandoning you.” He continues in a rush.
“What are you talking about?” I ask frowning from him to Hermione to see if she knows.
“Ron told me everything.” Harry adds as if that should mean something.
When I realize my family must have convinced him that I am some sort of… I don’t know. I roll my eyes, shake my head, and stand because I can’t have breakfast with someone who thinks I need to be saved.
“I don’t know what Ronald told you. I do thank you for your help at the ball, but my husband took care of me after you left. If you think he is some kind of villain in my life than you should not be sitting at this table.”
“You should both calm down.” Hermione says as she puts a hand on mine, and shoots Harry a look cutting off whatever stupid thing he was about to say next.
“Harry didn’t mean it that way. He was just worried is all.” Hermione speaks for him making him frown. “It is so nice to have company here at the palace, let’s not ruin the day?”
“I need to get dressed.” I say pulling my hand away from hers. “This is inappropriate.” I add pulling the robe around me more tightly before heading to my room to wash up.
Heety helps me dress in a soft blue casual day gown, because it is the only thing I have that covers the rope burns from last night. I don’t want to heal them, because I don’t want Potter taking away everything I enjoy. I let her fix my hair in a tight bun that I think gives me a very mature look. People need to obviously stop seeing me as a child. It is a little odd I consider this outfit casual when once it would have been the nicest thing I owned.
When I finally return to the sitting room, breakfast has been cleared and Potter has left. Hermione sits on the same couch from last night reading. She looks up and gives me a grimace as she hears me enter.
“I thought it best if I visit with Harry tomorrow.” She says patting the seat next to her. “I had no idea he was going to be like that. He was so keen to see you this morning.” She says as I sit down next to her.
“Is he courting you?” I ask because I don’t really know why he is at the palace at all. Giving her as a mistress to a Potter may be a good political move for the Emperor.
“Oh no.” She says with an embarrassed laugh. “He told me he is not interested in such things at the moment. The only woman that he considered courting was married this year.” She says with a shrug.
“That is sad for him.” I say because he hadn’t mentioned any of that to me. “Do you know what my brother told him?” I ask with my own grimace. I really don’t like the idea of my family spreading rumors about me.
Her frown deepens as she thinks and she nods without saying anything. “Do you know your family is trying to…?”
“Invalidate my wedding contract. Yes. They want to steal my child and sell me off to someone they like a little better.” I tell her trying not to get emotional.
“That is one point of view.” Hermione says carefully. “Another is that they are worried that you are being abused and that Lord Malfoy can’t protect you properly.”
“They’re wrong Hermione.” I say because the idea of it panics me a bit. “I wish they would just let me live my life. I did my duty and I’m thriving in my new situation.” I take in a quick breath so I can force myself not to cry. “It isn't like any of them have even written me or anything, asking me how I feel about any of this.”
“Are you sure?” She asks carefully. I sit back and frown looking down at my hands, because I honestly wouldn’t put it past Lucius to keep my mail from me, especially if it was upsetting questions from my family.
“No.” I admit before looking up at her. “Did someone mention something to you?” I ask but she just shakes her head. I sigh and cover my face with my hands. “I’m being selfish. What is happening with you? How do you like the palace?”
She gives me one last worried look before smiling. “Don’t tell, but I sort of love it here.” She says as if it should be a secret. “I love learning and the library is big and Severus and I have the most interesting conversations. I feel challenged here like I never was before entering your world.”
“What about the Emperor?” I ask because I don’t really know what that relationship is like.
She sighs setting her book to the side. I glance at it and note it is a book on transfiguration.
“That relationship is very complicated. I just can’t figure him out exactly.” She starts and I signal for her to continue. “He’s my benefactor here, and he encourages me to learn and experience everything this world has to offer.”
“That sounds nice.” I say because it does, even though I know there must be a ‘but’ coming.
“But he is very hard to understand. I’m not exactly sure what he wants from me in return.” She blushes and looks away. “When I first got here I accused him of wanting to court me or something. I thought he wanted a wife that was somehow outside of the political families.”
“The Emperor can’t marry you.” I explain delicately because I’m not sure how to explain our laws.
“He actually laughed at me, and explained in great detail on how the heirs to the Empire of Magic are made. I’ve heard others, servants and other peers of the realm, talk about blood purity and how those like me are…”
“That is complete nonsense that those who cannot move forward into the modern day hold onto. The heirs to the great houses must be pure only because that is how blood magic works.” I tell her uncomfortably. “It’s ancient magic that would have dire consequences if fought against. My eldest brother also must marry pure, and my family is as liberal as they get.”
“But you asked me if Harry was courting me.” She says with a frown.
“Well, when boys are young they think they can get away with more. I was going to warn you against believing such promises if you had said yes.” I look around the room for a moment as I work to get the courage to say what I want to say next.
“But you don’t think I’m dirty then, you’re not just pretending to be my friend?” She asks and my eyes snap to hers as I’m shocked by the question.
“You seem to be quite brilliant and kind.” I tell her as I reach forward to pick up her book so I can look more closely at it.
“I don’t think your husband likes me.” Hermione points out and I grimace.
I sigh looking up to her. “No he doesn’t. The only reason he is allowing our friendship is because you are the Emperor’s favorite. The Malfoys have always believed deeply in pureblood superiority. But my husband’s opinions are not mine, even if he would prefer it otherwise.”
“Harry doesn’t think you stand up to him. He sees how controlling your Lord is and he worries about you.” She says softly.
I take a breath before forcing the question from my lips. “But he doesn’t worry about you?” I ask straightening my back.
“Why would he worry about me? I’m not married.” She laughs not understanding.
“That’s one of my concerns.” It is my turn to blurt things out. “You’re brilliant Hermione.” I say holding up the advanced book as evidence. “You must know the Emperor is also a blood purest, most of court is. It’s why the Weasleys and the Potters are only ever welcome here when the crown needs something.”
“You’re very brave. No one has said that directly to me since I got here.” She said smiling at me. “But you know Severus isn’t like that. I have plenty of safety here at court.”
“You like him?” I give her a knowing smile. “You know he is someone you would be permitted to marry if the Emperor agrees.” I say because I really can’t complain about an age difference.
“I’ve thought about that.” She tells me shyly. “But he gives me very mixed signals in that regard. Sometimes he treats me like I’m some kind of exotic dessert that he wants to try, but is worried that the cook will discover if he does.”
“In translation the Emperor has made you off limits.” I say and she nods in agreement.
“But I don’t really understand why. Not to say the Emperor isn’t trying to seduce me in his way…”
“Has he touched you?” I ask interrupting her.
“You look so worried.” She says rolling her eyes at me. “He barely touches me, but he is very good at making me want to touch him.”
“He can’t marry you, but he could keep you as a kind of mistress.” I tell her wanting her to have all the facts.
“If he wants me as a mistress why isn’t he trying harder?” She snaps making me frown at her.
“You would accept such a position? With someone that thinks you are lesser?” I ask not understanding her at all. “I thought you said you liked Master Snape.”
Now she looks embarrassed. “The Emperor is a very physically attractive man, you must have noticed, and he provides me with all these ways to learn.”
“You would be willing to be with someone that at best sees you as some kind of pet?” I ask her then blush as that question hits a little too close to home. “Or-or is that the appeal?” I ask because maybe she is someone I can actually talk to about my feelings.
“What?” Hermione asks and she blushes too.
It is a promising reaction as I look around the room as if someone is going to walk in on us. “Some people find it stimulating to be treated…” I try to find the right word that doesn’t make either of us sound like complete flakes or weaklings. “...roughly.” I end awkwardly.
“Oh.” She says looking away from me.
“I wouldn’t judge you I’m just trying to understand how best to support you as your friend.” I tell her quickly. “I can see now that you obviously have some kind of feelings for both Master Snape and the Emperor. I just want to know what you want from them.”
“Can we please stop talking about them formally if we are going to talk about this at all?” Hermione asks fidgeting a little. My stomach decides to growl just then and she looks at me with wide eyes. “It’s nearly ten you must be starving!” She says getting to her feet and holding her hand out to help me up. “I was so distracted by the fight I forgot you hadn’t eaten. We should go find you something.”
“Calm down, I’m fine and I’m a Lady so I don’t have to go anywhere.” I tell her with a smile as I sit back down. “Heety.” I call and the elf arrives a moment later.
“Heety is heres Mistress.” The elf says looking back and forth between Hermione and me.
“Would you go get me something to eat? I seem to have missed breakfast.” I tell her and her large eyes go wide with worry.
“Bad Mistress!” She wags her finger at me before disappearing.
“That is such an odd creature.” Hermione comments as she sits back down.
“She cares about me in her own way.” I say with a shrug as the coffee table moves closer to us on its own then rises to be at a comfortable height in comparison to the couch.
“Okay so I will ask you again. I do want to understand your feelings for Severus and Tom.” I say feeling very weird about using their first names.
First herbal tea, then some sandwiches, and other food started to appear on the table as I waited for the answer. I sipped the tea feeling better to have something in my stomach, then pick up one of the sandwiches.
“They’re both very intense.” Hermione starts haltingly. “They are both very intelligent and challenge me with their minds at every turn. Tom is very handsome and can be very very charming. But Severus…” She bites her lip as if she doesn’t want to say it.
“What?” I push.
“He is very caring when you understand him. I can hardly understand Tom at all. I know I was brought here for a reason, that they are both planning something, but I have no idea how I could be of value to the Empire. If I was a bed warmer or something like that you would think they would both be pushing me more on those kinds of things.”
“Virginity is a powerful thing. Maybe they are working to not waste yours.” I say making an assumption about her because she does seem proper to me. She frowns at this, but I can see the understanding there that tells me I was right.
“It could be that I guess.” She says thinking it over. “They both hint about some potential I have, but they say I need to start with the basics to be ready.”
“Well then you should know they mean serious business with whatever they want from you. If they just wanted a virgin they wouldn’t be spending so much time and energy making you feel at home here.”
“I’ve thought of that. Severus acts like he wants me but can’t have me, where Tom acts like he is biding his time, but will eventually have me.” She tells me carefully.
“Which do you like better?” I ask her because I’m a bit confused.
She blushes a bit and looks around. “Would you blame me if I told you I wanted both of them?” She asks before looking back into my eyes checking to see if I am judging her.
I smile and shake my head. “No.” I admit even though I don’t know Snape very well and the Emperor scares me.
“But it sounds like you know Severus better than Tom. So why do you like them the same?” I ask wondering if I am being helpful. “Especially when Tom is so dangerous.”
“I’ve witnessed the way he gets.” She says softly. “He scares me a great deal actually.”
“Then why do you like him the same as a man you called caring?” I ask wondering if she has asked herself these questions.
“I’m drawn to him.” She breathes leaning closer to me. “When he is giving me his full attention, it’s sort of amazing.”
“In what way?” I ask and she doesn’t seem to mind how much I am pushing.
“Go back to your room and touch yourself amazing.” She says then giggles as she covers her mouth as if even she is surprised she said that.
“Do you fantasize about Severus?” I ask moving a bit closer to her so we can speak in low voices.
“Only when I’m with him. I find myself daydreaming about how it would feel if he actually touched me.” She admits looking to the door and back to me.
“You know Lucius has told me something about Tom’s desires.” I say carefully trying to keep my promise because I don’t want to be punished by Lucius or especially the Emperor.
“Do you know what a sadist is?” I ask touching my head to hers as we move closer and closer.
She pulls back blushing crimson. “He likes to inflict pain.” She asks meekly.
“If that scares you, Tom is not the one for you.” I tell her seriously. “Lucius says Tom makes him look gentle.” I say before I am the one blushing, as I was so excited to find a kindred soul I let that slip before I was sure.
“Lucius is a sadist?” Hermione asks with wide eyes giving me a whole new look of worry.
“He is, but I’m okay with it. I shouldn’t have said anything.” I tell her quickly because I really don’t want her to tell Harry or anyone in my family.
“He hits you and its okay?” Hermione asks frowning.
“It isn’t like that.” I say because she makes it sound very bad. “I enjoy everything he does to me. He has this way of making pain the best thing ever.” I admit so she can understand.
“Sometimes I have dreams.” Hermione whispers and that is not the response I was expecting. “Tom is doing the most awful things to me.” She admits before swallowing. “And it hurts and embarrasses me, but I want more.”
“Do you like those dreams?” I ask carefully.
She nods because she can’t say the words aloud. I lean in and hug her because I’m so happy to be able to really talk to her about all of this.
Lucius-
After the long day I’ve had all I want to do is climb into bed with my wife and push the world away for a night of rest. It is well past dinnertime and I had a working meal as the council talked about how to deal with a group of criminals that has been inciting rebellion in the commoners.
When I get to our rooms, I find Ginevra already in bed. The room is dark, but I work not to wake her as I undress and get ready for sleep. I would have been worried about her if it wasn’t for the fact that the Emperor was with me all day, and that Potter boy has no idea how to woo my wife.
When I slip into bed beside her, it is like coming home and I bury my nose in her hair so I can breathe in her scent.
“Lucius?” She asks sleepily as she snuggles back against me.
“Who else would it be?” I ask as I kiss her neck and wrap my arm around her still decently slight form. My hand rests on the little bump of her stomach and I smile to myself as I think of my child growing inside of her.
“Mmm no one.” She says with a pleased tone in her voice. “I thought you would be back for dinner.” She pouts softly.
“I wish I could have been my sweet. The meeting ran all day.” I tell her as I kiss her neck and shoulder.
She takes in a deep breath and I can tell she is waking up a little, but she doesn’t move from me, only presses into the soft kissing I am laying upon her skin. “I wanted to talk to you about last night.” She says as I move my hand up to the ribbon of her gown. I want to taste her skin and this dress is getting in my way.
“What about it my sweet?” I ask untying the lace with one hand before loosening the top so I can expose her breasts and shoulders for my touch.
“It was wonderful, but I woke up feeling so odd.” She says as I softly nibble on her shoulder. Since she is awake anyway, I plan to taste her fully. “Did you give me your magic?” She asks straight as my hand warms her breast.
“Yes.” I tell her because what else can I say. “I completed the ritual while I fucked you into oblivion.” I admit liking the way my words make her shiver. “Did you enjoy your time in subspace?” I ask curiously.
“Subspace?” She asks turning her head to look back at me.
“You’ve reached the edges of it before, but I pushed you all the way last night. It was gorgeous.” I tell her and I can tell she is thinking about it carefully. While she is distracted, I start to push up the hem of her gown to get at other parts of her body.
“That did feel very good.” She admits and as my hand reaches her flower, she opens her legs for me to do as I please.
“I’m sure we could arrange another visit tonight.” I whisper as I start to elicit the best little sounds from her.
“You’re distracting me.” She moans pushing herself against my hand. “I want to talk about this.” She says breathily. “Unless I really am just a sex object to you?” She asks making me actually stop playing with her.
“You’re not.” I tell her seriously and move her up onto my arm so I can look into her eyes. She rolls onto her back to look up at me, and she is the very picture of beauty with her wild blood colored hair splayed across the pillow. “You have never been just a sex object to me. I have plans for you Ginevra, but that doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy your body immensely.”
“Why did you leave me with Master Potter this morning?” She asks as she looks up into my eyes. I think of this finalized connection we have now and I wonder if I can lie to her.
“I wasn’t worried with Miss Granger as a chaperone.” I say because that is part of the truth. When she doesn’t look like she believes me I sigh, “I’ve left you with more dashing men than Master Potter. Your tutor comes to mind, which you should probably get back to while here at the castle.” I say getting distracted by my own plans.
“But Master Zabini is different. He works for you.” She says tilting her head.
“You know Master Potter is infatuated with you?” I ask and she gives me a little frown. “He is, and with the way he was acting I knew the best way to get rid of him was to have you crush his little hopes.”
“How were you so sure I would crush his hopes?” She asks seeming amused and I wonder what happened today.
“With the way he was acting this morning it was only a matter of time before he said something rude and you put him in his place. I know that fire in you very well by now my sweet.” I tell her and I am pleased when she blushes slightly turning her head. Something obviously did happen today.
“I spent most of the day alone with Hermione.” She admits softly. “Master Potter said something I didn’t like the moment you left. He felt the need to apologize for leaving me with my husband.” She explains before leaning up and giving me a soft kiss.
“What did you and Miss Granger talk about?” I ask and she looks a bit shy as if she doesn't want to answer.
“A lot of things.” She finally says with a shrug.
“What don’t you want to tell me?” I ask because I know there is something.
“Has my family ever written me?” She asks out of nowhere and I shake my head. Of course, if they had I would have read it and tossed it, if it said anything I didn’t want her to know, but they had never actually sent anything.
“Do you think I would have risked inviting them to the ball if I was hiding communication from them?” I ask and she shakes her head. “No they have chosen to spy and drop in uninvited. Honestly sometimes, I think they treat you more like an object than I do. But you are trying to distract me. What did you talk about with Granger that I should know?”
“She’s very smart Lucius. She knows something is going on, that she isn’t just here to learn.” She tells me with a frown. “The Emperor treats her like he is trying to seduce her, but makes no moves to actually do so. She is suspicious of this.”
“I am sure you helped her be less suspicious.” I say with a smirk.
“I did no such thing.” She says pouting up at me. “But I think I did help her start to figure out what she wants.” She says a little too casually.
“What do you think that is?” I ask as I care very little for the mudblood’s desires.
“That’s private, but I will say that I don’t think the Emperor will be completely displeased whenever he plans to take her.” She says mysteriously.
“Do you really think he plans on fucking her?” I ask because this is her friend we are talking about, even if she is a mudblood.
“We're both convinced of it. My guess is he is planning to use her virginity in some kind of dark magic. But please tell me he won’t kill her after?” She asks with worry in her eyes.
I sigh and shake my head. “After he has done what he plans to do she will be one of the safest things in the Empire.”
She sighs in relief so I lean down to take her lips in a kiss. I think we are done with this conversation so it is time to satisfy more carnal desires.
When I let the kiss go on long enough to make her breathless, she pushes me away so she can once again look into my eyes.
“We’re not going to talk about how you actually gave me your magic and how we are bond in…” I lean down and kiss her to cut her off. There is simply nothing to talk about. It is done and I will enjoy the fruits of being so close to her.
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Shame's Desire