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The Optimal Balance	By : TheMightyFlynn Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 17124 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 3
Disclaimer: The Harry Potter universe and characters belong to JK Rowling and associates. This was written for fun. I make no money from it.

Chapter List
- 1-The Optimal Balance
- 2-Ch. 2
- 3-Ch. 3
- 4-Ch. 4
- 5-Ch. 5
- 6-Ch. 6
- 7-Ch. 7
- 8-Ch. 8
- 9-Ch. 9
- 10-Ch. 10
- 11-Ch. 11
- 12-Ch. 12
- 13-Ch. 13
- 14-Ch. 14
- 15-Ch. 15
- 16-Ch. 16
- 17-Ch. 17
- 18-Ch. 18
- 19-Ch. 19
- 20-Ch. 20
- 21-Ch. 21
- 22-Ch. 22
- 23-Ch. 23
- 24-Ch. 24
- 25-Ch. 25
- 26-Ch. 26
- 27-Ch. 27
- 28-Ch. 28
- 29-Ch. 29
- 30-Ch. 30
- 31-Ch. 31
- 32-Ch. 32
- 33-Ch. 33
- 34-Ch. 34
- 35-Ch. 35
- 36-Ch. 36
- 37-Ch. 37
- 38-Ch. 38
- 39-Ch. 39
- 40-Ch. 40: Epilogue
- 28
- 29
- 30
The slide of the greenhouse door wouldn’t have been evident to many people. Draco, however, was so used to the regular sounds of his greenhouse that he immediately registered the slight scrape against the dirt floor. Tilting his head to the side, he listened carefully, trying to work out who it was that had disturbed him. It obviously wasn’t Harry, as he had gone into the Foundation early that morning to sort out some paperwork that had been waiting for him. It was highly unlikely to be Astoria either, as Draco knew for a fact that she hardly ever bothered to try to sneak when she entered his greenhouse. That left one of the children, unless someone had managed to make it onto the Manor grounds without triggering the wards.
Light footsteps moved over to the soft chairs that Draco had set up just off to the left of the door in this greenhouse. When the squeak of someone’s weight landing on the middle chair sounded, Draco smiled. He kept his eyes pinned on the Fanged Geraniums he was repotting, however, knowing that if he allowed his attention to wander too far, he would most likely end up being bitten; an experience that he had no desire to repeat. His mind raced, trying to work out why Scorpius – as it was him who made the most sense to step into Draco's greenhouse uninvited – would just walk in and seat himself without saying a word. Thankfully, the Fanged Geraniums never took too long to repot and he was soon wiping the dirt from his hands on a cloth he kept on the bench.
“Draco?”
Shock rushed through Draco's chest when he glanced up to see James perched on the very edge of the chair, his hands clenched on the seat. Tossing the cloth aside, Draco moved swiftly around to the front of his workbench, sudden worry causing his hands to clench.
“James? What’s wrong? Has something happened to one of the others?”
Draco was halfway across the greenhouse and just about to fall to his knees before James so he could see his eyes when James sat up straight. Almost stumbling to a stop when James held a hand up, Draco's stomach felt as though it had dropped down into his shoes.
“Nothing’s wrong… Well not exactly.”
Standing a few steps from James, Draco stared down at him with mounting concern. He was completely unable to prevent his mind from jumping straight to the worst-case scenarios, despite James’ words. Following his instincts, Draco knelt down in front of him anyway and ducked his head so he could get a proper look at James’ face.
“What do you mean by ‘not exactly’?” His mind raced quickly through all of the things that could have happened while Harry was not there for James to speak to about whatever was wrong, but he came up almost completely blank. “Is it to do with the Healer you’ve been seeing? Has something happened with–”
Draco's mouth snapped shut when James sat back in the chair and grinned. The grin made him look almost as though he was bordering on hysteria, but the short laugh that followed could have come from any nervous teenage boy; James’ voice even cracked a little when he spoke again soon after.
“No, no, it’s not that…” He paused to run a hand through his hair, making it stand on end in the same way Harry’s always did. “Look, can I talk to you? Like, properly talk and not have you go running off to Dad or my Grandmother the second you see them again?”
The wariness that entered James’ eyes as he spoke sent sympathy shooting straight through Draco, but his mind latched onto something else rather than the boy in front of him. Could this be a confession of what the boys had been doing over the past few weeks? Could James have finally decided that whatever it was they were up to was too dangerous for three boys to be messing around with? He was the eldest of them after all; maybe the pressure of what they were doing had finally gotten to him? Flexing his clenched hands in order to relieve some of the stress racing through him, Draco offered up what he hoped was a sincere smile.
“Of course you can. I swear I won’t say a word to your Father or Grandmother unless I think it absolutely necessary that they know.” When James rolled his eyes, Draco smiled properly. “I’m sorry, but that’s the best I can offer. If I think you need to tell your Father, I’ll tell you so you can tell him yourself, but I won’t keep secrets from him.”
Draco watched as something strange flashed through James’ eyes, but he said nothing, waiting silently while James considered his offer. It didn’t take long.
“I – that’s what I…” James sighed and waved a hand towards the chair to his right. “If what I say isn’t bad, you’ll keep it to yourself, though, right?” He waited for Draco to nod before continuing. “Alright, it’s a deal.”
Despite the nerves and suspicions rushing through him, Draco found himself incredibly curious about whatever it was that James was apparently about to confess. Pushing himself to his feet, he waved his wand towards the hidden cool room he had had installed in this particular greenhouse the day he had moved the chairs in. He had figured at the time that there was no point in having the luxury of comfortable chairs if he had nothing to drink and had found himself incredibly thankful that he had thought to include it. Taking the chair to James’ right as he had indicated, Draco caught the two bottles of Butterbeer he had Summoned and silently handed one over.
“Thanks. I, um… Look, what I want to talk about really isn’t bad alright?” James flipped the lid off the bottle and took a deep swig of the Butterbeer before continuing. “I’ve just been thinking… And I’ve talked to Healer Kendall about it as well, so it isn’t something that I haven’t properly thought about either… But…”
Draco's stomach squirmed with nervous energy as James trailed off again. If this was something that he had discussed with the Healer that Harry had had him seeing since that incident with Ginevra – as Draco had taken to thinking of it – then it was obviously nothing to do with whatever trouble he, Al and Scorpius had been getting into recently. His hand clenched around the neck of his bottle. He was certain that he wouldn’t be able to deal with whatever this was if James admitted to having been up to something else that would put either himself or one of the other children in danger. Draco knew for a fact that there was only a certain amount of stress that a body could deal with before breaking and he thought that he was rapidly reaching that point when it came to their boys. If this was something else dangerous, then he would most likely have to break his promise to James and simply Apparate directly the Foundation to collect Harry and bring him back to deal with his son. Taking a steadying breath, Draco flipped the top off the Butterbeer and sat back in his chair, imitating his usual calm exterior.
You know you could tell me even if it was something bad?” It was a pathetic attempt at trying to suggest that James could tell him everything he had been up to and Draco knew it. “Considering everything I’ve done over the years, I wouldn’t judge you.”
“No, no… I mean, yeah, I kind of figured that from everything that Scorp has told us about you and Tori, but… It’s not a bad thing. I’m not…” He shook his head and huffed out a breath that sounded incredibly frustrated. “I try to not be a bad kid.”
Draco's breath left him in a rush at the almost whispered words. The meaning of James’ words hit him with a force that made it slightly difficult for him to catch his breath as his chest constricted in sympathy. If James had been discussing his behaviour with his therapist, then there really was only one person that this discussion could revolve around. Draco was damn sure that he was the one adult in James’ life who was completely unqualified for him to have this discussion with, considering the fact that there was absolutely no way he could be subjective on the topic. Still, he had made a promise to James, so he merely sat there silently for a few seconds, trying to suppress his own feelings over what he suspected was coming.
“You aren’t a bad kid, James,” Draco stated equally as quietly as James had spoken. “No one thinks you are.”
Draco watched as James opened his mouth and took a deep breath, obviously in preparation of saying something back, but he subsided in the next few seconds. It was such a strange reaction that Draco couldn’t help beginning to catalogue any physical changes he could make out in James’ appearance. If there really was something wrong beyond what James was about to confess to him, then Draco would make sure that James didn’t keep it to himself and physical changes were one of the first signs of mental stress. That was something that he had learned firsthand after the end of the War. He almost jumped when James actually spoke again.
“That’s something I’ve been speaking to Healer Kendall about. I… She says that I’m not to blame for Mum and Dad not getting along anymore. And before you say anything, I do actually believe her.” James paused to flash Draco a look that told him that he knew that Draco had been about to pipe in with reassurances that Harry and Ginevra’s divorce was not his fault. “No one is to blame there; not really. If Dad had maybe known that he was gay, then things would have worked out differently. I understand that. But that’s not what I want to talk about.”
Draco's insides squirmed again when James paused. There was a part of Draco's mind just screaming that James should get on with it; that it was better to just come out and say what was on your mind rather than drawing it out this long. Another part of his brain, unfortunately enough for him, was countering that argument with a line that sounded quite logical to Draco: I do not wish to speak about Ginevra ever again. He had known that she would always be a background part of Harry’s life, because he had known that Harry could never be cruel enough to cut her off from her children completely. That did not mean that Draco himself was ready to have an open and frank discussion about her with her son; especially the son whom she had basically rejected directly to his face. He figured it may very well be counterproductive to James’ therapy sessions if he was subjected to Draco's true thoughts about his Mother. But then, this was the very first time that James had sought him out specifically to speak to about anything, so there was yet another part of Draco's mind rejoicing over the progress they had managed to make since their first, rather volatile encounters. There really was nothing for it: Draco took a deep breath and prepared himself to be the mature, responsible adult he was supposed to be in these situations.
“You wish to speak to me about your Mother.”
“Is that alright? I mean, I’ll understand if you say no, but Dad and Grandma are both so angry when it comes to Mum that I don’t really want to make it worse and Al and my cousins are useless. You know all they’re really interested in are girls or Quidditch?” The exasperated tone to James’ voice had Draco smiling in response, but he didn’t get the chance to respond before James was speaking again. “And, well, Healer Kendall says that I really should be making an effort here rather than just letting things happen. So…”
Warmth spread through Draco as James turned to cast a questioning look his way. James had taken the first tentative step, now it was time for him to step up.
“You can tell me anything you want to about your Mother, if you wish, Jamie. Nothing you say will leave this room unless you give me express permission.”
Those were the words that James had apparently been waiting for. Speaking rapidly enough that Draco had a slight problem keeping up, he seemed to unload with months of fears and thoughts and theories on what he could have done differently or how he could have reacted differently. It was obvious that Draco's role there was only as a willing ear, but he figured that, considering the subject matter, it was probably for the best. Keeping James supplied with cold bottles of Butterbeer, he simply listened to everything he came out with, chiming in only when James paused and cast a glance over to him, almost as though looking for reassurance on what he had just said. Draco's stomach was grumbling by the time James slowed down.
“Draco?” James’ voice was a little rough and Draco automatically Summoned a leaf from a plant that he knew would fix it almost immediately. “Thanks.” Taking a deep breath, James turned to face Draco, seeming to steel himself for what he was about to say. “Healer Kendall wants me to try seeing Mum before I go back to Hogwarts.”
Pressing his lips together, Draco released his breath loudly through his nose. “Do you want to see her again?”
“I don’t know!” Throwing himself back against the chair, James let out a gusty sigh. “I know that she has said that she wants to see us all again. Grandma has already said that she can take us when we want to, because I know that Dad doesn’t want to see her again. But…” He trailed off, shaking his head.
“But after everything that has happened, you don’t know whether you want to open it all up again?”
The look that James sent him in response held such sorrow in it that Draco was hard-pressed to not just move over and scoop James into his arms and tell him that everything would be alright. Instead, he held James’ gaze, not flinching away when he let out a frustrated-sounding growl.
“She’s my Mum.”
“Yes, she is.”
“But…”
“But you are under absolutely no obligation to see her if you don’t think you can deal with it. However, if you do wish to see her again, then know that both your Father and I will stand behind your decision and not try to prevent it in any way. You have just as much right to go visit her if you wish to as you do to not visit her if that is what you decide upon.”
James merely sat and stared at Draco for a long while, seeming to appraise him. Eventually, he sighed.
“You’re not going to tell me what I should do.” It was more of a statement than a question. “Nearly any other adult would, you know.”
Draco cocked his head to the side as he considered James’ words. “I know what it is like to have… shall we call it a difficult family? I have only just met my one remaining Aunt because she and my Mother weren’t on speaking terms for my entire life. My other Aunt was killed by your Grandmother during the Final Battle and no one rightly knows what happened to her husband; most people simply hope he is dead.” He smiled when James’ eyes widened at his frankness. “So, no, I cannot tell you what you should do in this kind of situation. What I can tell you is to follow what your instincts tell you to do. If you believe that you are ready to face your Mother after everything that has happened, then by all means, go see her. If not, however, then don’t try to force yourself. You will only end up miserable if you try to force yourself to do something you don’t wish to.”
James was silent for a long while, seeming to evaluate what Draco had told him. By the time he looked back up again, the determination on his face told Draco that he had come to a decision.
“I think Dad’s right about you, you know,” he stated as he stood up from his chair and stretched. “You are really smart.”
With that, he tossed his empty bottle towards the bin and almost bounced out of the greenhouse, leaving Draco sitting alone. Taking what seemed to be his first deep breath for the past few hours, Draco let it out slowly. He knew that trying to relax the muscles that had bunched up as his anxiety levels had risen was probably a lost cause, but he could feel the tension slowly draining from him. He may not have been able to get what the boys had been up to out of James, but it did feel as though they had made some form of breakthrough in their relationship. Knowing that James was willing to come to him with concerns had to be a good thing, right? Draco's knees cracked when he stood to throw his own empty bottle towards the bin, causing him to wince.
“You’re getting old.”
“Bite me, Potter.”
The bottle smashed when it landed in the bin, but Draco's focus was now pinned to where Harry stood in the doorway, a smug smirk on his face. The tight fitting trousers Harry favoured for work were a favourite of Draco's as well, but he figured it was for a completely different reason.
“Tori says the two of you have been in here since early this morning?” Harry huffed out a low chuckle when Draco stepped forward and ran his hands over his collar, straightening it instead of responding. “Is everything alright?”
Unable to prevent the wide smile that he gave when he thought back over the morning, Draco curled his hands into Harry’s collar and pulled him in for a soft kiss. “Everything’s fine. He just wanted someone to listen to him.”
“You’re sure?”
The concern that shone clearly through in Harry’s eyes had Draco's smile widening. “I’m certain. You know I’d tell you if anything was properly wrong.”
“Well, no. You’d probably scream it at me in between hexes.”
“Hexes that you would rightfully deserve, no doubt.”
“Oh, yeah, no doubt.”
Draco grinned when Harry laced their hands together and drew him out of the greenhouse. The last of his worry seemed to dissipate for the time being in the hot summer weather as he followed Harry back to the house.
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The Optimal Balance