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Broken Wings	By : Drarry-Lisa Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 4083 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any other characters/things/places created by J.K. Rowling. I make no money from my fan-fiction.

Chapter List
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Chapter-29
Two steps forward Four Steps Back
It took four days to wind everything up. Four days which they spent peacefully. Draco was smiling and talking to others and Harry had thought that Draco was finally healing, that perhaps everything would finally be fine and he they would be able to live happily.
Four days later, they had spoken to their friends, Severus, Sirius and Remus. Harry had apologised and they would forgive him, they said, with time.
Everyone except Sirius had decided to return. Lucius, Narcissa, Remus and Severus were returning a day before them. Severus and Remus had decided to live at Spinners end and teach at Hogwarts. Hermione and Ron had decided to return after a while. Lucius and Narcissa had decided to live at the Manor.
Love was strange, Harry decided. Draco's sorrows saddened him and his happiness made him happy. All he wanted was Draco to heal and he had thought that Draco was healing as the days passed.
He had thought that perhaps the past did not haunt Draco as it did earlier. Draco had not called himself dirty or anything to degrade himself and Harry was happy to see it.
They had decided to live in Harry's old home in Britain. It was nice to see Draco make plans excitedly for finding the culprits and punishing them.
So here he was at The International Apparition station in Britain. They had arrived five minutes back and Draco was nervous. The crowd had automatically rushed to meet him and Harry had been pushed at a distance from him
"Mr. Malfoy-Potter, how do you feel-"
"Please, answer, Mr. Malfoy-Potter-"
The journalists asked and Draco's eyes searched for him anxiously.
"PLEASE CLEAR THE WAY." Harry yelled at them and everyone froze when he spoke."Draco."
He had just spoken a word when Draco walked over to him, his eyes boring into him and his hands inside his pockets. But Harry could see that he was fidgeting.
Harry could also see that Draco was sweating. He might be able to hide his anxiety from everyone but Harry had always seen Draco too clearly.
He could see that Draco was swallowing and that his eyes flitted behind him, as if someone is watching him.
That was the moment when Harry realized that Draco had not healed. He also realized that perhaps Draco would never heal completely, that he would never trust anyone except him, that crowds would always terrify him. He should have expected it really. Draco had not even admitted that he was assaulted sexually not once but multiple times and he had been in denial for the past decade. How could he be expected to let everything go so quickly?
But it came as a blow to him because he should have been there for him when Draco needed him. Instead he had wasted so much time drinking and wallowing in his own misery.
"Let's leave, Harry." Draco whispered, his silver eyes looking into his trustfully and Harry's breath hitched for a moment. He nodded and turned towards the crowd "Please leave us be."
"Hold onto me Draco." He murmured and Draco held his hand tightly.
XXXX
They apparated in front of Harry's home and Draco could finally breathe. He had not been to able to prevent his fear when a large crowd had gathered around him, pushing Harry away somewhere.
The hypocrisy of these people astounded him. A decade back, they had fawned over Harry and had cursed him to a place where his soul had been shattered into million pieces and today when he was successful, they were welcoming him with both arms.
None of them noticed Harry until he raised his voice to get the way cleared for him. Ten years had elapsed and he had not forgiven Britain.
He had been in a delusion that he had healed. It was a delusion because he had developed an itch ever since he had landed in Britain. An itch to clean him, to rub his body until it was washed off everyone's touch.
As soon as they apparated in front of Harry's old home, now their home, he let Harry's hand go, because he couldn't touch anyone just yet, not even Harry. When he looked at Harry, he saw nothing but understanding in his soft eyes. His green eyes did not contain even a bit of pity.
"I am tired." Draco whispered, looking deep into Harry's eyes. Harry nodded and spoke "Let me unlock the wards and you can take rest. You can talk to me about anything. I hope you know this."
Draco wanted to say many things, that he trusted Harry, that he would tell him everything but he realized that he couldn't say anything at all. The strength to speak left him and he just nodded his head, choosing to stay completely silent.
Harry's soft eyes pierced into his soul, as if he knew everything, as if he heard all those unspoken words and feelings of his. He averted his eyes from those mesmerising eyes and turned towards the closed door.
The wards were unlocked and a second later, the door was unlocked as well. They entered and the house was completely dirty. Of course, it was. It had not been cleaned for decades.
"I will just cast a cleaning charm, Draco. You can take rest." Harry whispered and Draco shook his head mutely. This was his home as well and he would clean it with Harry. He had this right.
"All right then. I will clean the sitting area and the kitchen. You can take the two master bedrooms and one guestroom." Harry spoke softly. It was surprising that Harry heard his unspoken words too.
"I will call a couple of house elves from The Malfoy Manor to clean the washrooms. I could call them to clean the complete house if you like." Draco spoke and Harry denied "No. I would rather we do it ourselves so that we can throw the useless things away and so that we can change the furniture that we do not like. They can do the bathrooms though."
That was that. Draco muttered "Blinky. Slinky."
The elves appeared and bowed "Yes. Master Draco."
"You will clean the bathrooms and bring groceries. I trust there are other elves in the Manor to serve father and mother." The elves replied in unison "Yes. Master Draco."
"Start now. That will be all. Thank you." Draco murmured kindly and the elves vanished.
XXXX
Draco did not look at Harry and though Harry understood the reason, he knew that Draco must talk to someone. He saw the way Draco's hands crawled to a place on his shoulders to rub and clean nonexistent dirt.
"Draco. I had thought that you were healing." He whispered softly. He did not want Draco to be angry or too scared. Draco did not reply. He bowed his head and looked at the floor, his hands crawling to his wrists and Harry cleared his throat before speaking "Please speak to me."
But Draco did not speak. He simply looked on the floor. Harry couldn't empathise with him because he had never been in Draco's shoes. He had lived his life in constant terror, yes but Vernon was just one man and he had protected himself.
He did not know what Draco was going through. He understood a bit but how could he understand everything if Draco did not speak a word. He knew that Draco did not speak to him about it because he thought that Harry would not be able to listen to it and yes to a certain extent he was right.
It would be next to impossible to listen to it. But this fact made him realize how difficult must it have been for Draco to live the memories again and again for the last decade. So yes, he would listen and heal his husband and one day he will throw those bastards on Draco's feet. It was so difficult for him to even think that Draco was ra- assaulted. He could not even think the word. It was understandable that Draco couldn't accept it. Perhaps Draco thought that he was one of those people who leave their spouse when something like this happens.
"Draco. You know that I love you more than anyone else. I won't leave you, no matter what." He whispered soothingly and Draco turned around finally to look at him. His eyes were desperate and he was silent. Harry looked into his silver eyes and realized another thing that had confused him for the past few days. Draco needed constant reassurances that Harry won't leave him, that Harry loved him and now when he looked into his husband's soft but desperate eyes, he understood the depth of that insecurity. If Draco needed a reassurance, Harry would say it again. He would say it hundred times, if required, if it gave Draco even an ounce of peace.
"You are my world. Where will I go without you? I love you so much Draco." He whispered and Draco studied his face for some deception. Once upon a time, it might have frustrated Harry but it did not annoy him anymore.
He would do anything to see Draco's eyes unclouded and happy for once. He would do anything to get rid of Draco's demons, to heal Draco but healing was a long and slow process and he would be patient with Draco. He repeated again "I do. I love you. I just want you to share with me. Tell me. What happened? Tell me everything. I just want you to relieve yourself off those demons. You know that I love you, don't you?"
Draco searched his eyes a bit and then nodded "Yes. I will start cleaning now."
Draco's voice broke while he said this and Harry's heart ached for him. Draco needed to share it. Yes he had told what led him but he needed to share what ever made him feel rotten from inside.
"You can have the separate room if you want." Draco froze at the first stair and nodded in acceptance. "Okay. I will ask the elves to keep our clothes in our respective wardrobes." Draco murmured and added hesitantly "I will keep both of our clothes in your room."
The last sentence relieved Harry. This meant that Draco would stay in his room. Atleast Draco would try and that was enough for now.
"Draco you won't-" Harry started and Draco had almost climbed the stairs "No. I will never attempt to kill myself again. Don't worry. No matter, how difficult it becomes to go on, I will not commit suicide. Nothing can console me or change the past ..... but..... rest assured I will live..... for you for I love you and will always do."
XXXX
Harry looked sadly as Draco disappeared from his sight.
Yes you will be alive on surface..... dead inside..... that's not what I want Draco. I will not lose hope. I will try heal you no matter how long it takes......
XXXX
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Broken Wings