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What Good is a Heart	By : Varada Category: Harry Potter > General > General Views: 5978 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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�Do you hate me?� He asked softly as he rested his head on her chest, listening to her heart beating steadily beneath him. He did not waver - not even his eyes - when he felt a slow lingering drop of her tears splashed gently on him.

�Yes,� she answered almost remorsefully as she hesitated for a brief moment, ��But I hate myself more.� He thought he heard her let out a soft almost indistinguishable sigh. Except he was close to her, so close that he heard everything, even the sound of her hitched breathing and her excited heart.

�So is this it?�

�Can there be anything else?� she asked back. A long moment of silence hung in the air.

�I want to see you again,� he added forcefully as he lifted his head from her chest and looked straight into her eyes.

�You see me every day.�

�I want to see you like this.� There was a slight flicker in her eyes. �I want to be able to hold you, to kiss you, to make you mine.�

�You can�t.�

�What are you scared of, Hermione?� The second time her name rolled off his lips, it carried with it a gentle sweet melancholic yearning that left her suspended as if lost in space with a time bomb ticking away furiously at the sound of her own heart.

�Everything.�

{If your heart is beating, then it�s for a reason}

�No one will know,� he whispered against her ears, the warmth of his breath still sending her shivers down her spine as she closed her eyes to take in his scent and his words.

A long silence passed between them until she trailed her finger slowly, gently, sensually down his back as he lay naked, still on top of her.

�I wasn�t intending to tell.�

He raised his head suddenly to look at her, her face still bearing no emotions. She thought she saw the corner of his lips lifted as if to begin to form a slight smile � or smirk, she wasn�t too sure.

But then he kissed her in a soft, sweet manner, his tongue gently stroking her sore swollen lips he had himself inflicted on her earlier. He pressed his weight against her, leaning on one elbow so not to hurt her with the full impact of his weight, while the other hand slowly caressed the soft curves of her gentle shape. His lips moved tenderly against her without any pain, filling the delicate curves of her own mouth as they massaged against one another ever so sensually, ever so softly, ever so completely. Hermione closed her eyes and draped her arms gently over him, pulling him closer towards her, feeling the sweat on his body from their intense activities earlier cooling against the airy night breeze that wafted into the room. She felt him spread her thighs apart gently with his hands as he pressed himself between her legs, sliding back down to position his hardness against her, thoughkeptkept his intense passionate gaze at hers, the glimmer in her eye illuminating the darkness in his heart.

She did not protest this time. No loud screaming and wailing. No mad kicking. No vicious clawing. She laid limp in front of him like a bruised and battered doll, her hands hanging loosely on her side, unmoving on their own, remaining in the position that his hands had moved them, too weak and exhausted to fight him and her own burning heart any longer. He fluttered trails of gentle butterfly kisses along her neck as she turned her head sideways to stare at her own reflection in the mirror once again and saw her lightly blushing cheeks, their two beautiful bodies resting against one another. Yet her eyes were cold and forlorn at thme tme time, as she hated herself even more. His lips stopped at her nipple to take them in fully with his soft caressing warm mouth, as she arched her back slightly and let a light moan of soft pleasure slipped out.

�So you�ve won,� she whispered exasperatedly as she fell back on to the bed, and his tongue began to trail the lines of cleavage along her breast.

�It�s not about winning,� he whispered back into her breasts without lifting his tongue of her soft pearl skin as his hand searched for her soft warm gentleness between her thighs.

�That�s a surprise,� she said sarcastically, keeping her impassive eyes on his reflection tracing his warm tender tongue slowly down her sensitive curvaceous shape. �Draco Malfoy doesn�t want to win.�

�I don�t want to win,� he answered back as he lifted his eyes up to meet hers, his hands spreading her knees gently apart as he shifted his weight so that he laid directly over her warm wet entrance.

�You want to own,� she added smugly.

�No�� he replied as he gasped softly, breathing into her neck as he arched himself and pushed his hardness gently into her, slowly penetrating into her so that she felt every hard length of him reach out for her deepest dripping wetness burning inside of her that slowly opened to his warmth like a blooming flower. And he pushed himself forcefully further into her so that her eyes opened wide with a soft moan of pleasure as all the petals of the flowers in her came undone.

��I want to feel.�

{If you�re not even willing to start, what good is a heart?}

Several Months Later.

Days had passed into weeks and weeks into months, until she had forgotten how it all started. But it didn�t matter anymore. All that mattered was the exquisite pain erupting into ecstatic pleasure inside of her, as he thrust frantically harder and harder into her, their naked sweating bodies upright against one another, her erratic moans sounding against the sound of her hot hard flesh hitting against his thighs in her room. Yes, in her room, among the many places they had had their secret trysts. But he liked coming to see her in her room most. Even more when he knew she did not want to see him. Perhaps because of the greater thrill that her Gryffindor best friends might walk in any minute. Perhaps because she became even more forbidden, more alluring, turning him on as he took her furiously between the golden red bed sheets of the Gryffindor quarters. Or perhaps because he simply liked to be at the center of her world, among her favorite books and favorite toys, ripping her shirt apart on her bookcase as he devoured her hungrily on the crumpled Gryffindor school robe beneath them. It was only a matter of time before he learned how to Apparate into her room anytime of the night, when he wanted to and when she wanted him to without ever asking � after all, he had had seven long years to dream about his conquest.

Nothing was ever planned though. No dates, no appointments, no set times. Draco would grab her after dinner as she was walking back to her room into some dark obscure corner of Hogwarts and ravish her. Then there was that time she went to the Spring Fair with Ron at Hogsmeade and as they kissed and danced by the night campfire, he watched her from a anceance. And he tracked her down on the train back to Hogwarts that night, and pulled her into an empty carriage and made her dance to the night blaze of his desire instead. And she let him. She had never asked what they were doing. And he had never told her. Just unspoken words and exchanges of heated lust against one another told her that they were alive and breathing, and in inexplicable need to scorch their sins. Every time their flesh meshed into one against their blazing desire for one another, away from the eyes of the world, there were just him and her in solitude of hunger and lustful desperation. Nothing more, nothing less.

But that night he had come to her room, like countless time before. And right then she was dying in his embrace as her naked hot, hard breasts pressed against his firm toned chest, as she sat messily over him on her crumpled bed and he moved her furiously over him. She wrapped her arms around his neck as she rocked wildly on top of him, faster and faster, deeper and deeper, like a savage queen of the night, till she felt like exploding. She panted and moaned exquisitely into his ears as she sucked the wind sloppily out of his ear. He closed his eyes in unbearable pleasure, letting out a series of low agonizing moan escape from the back of his throat, as he grabbed her derriere tightly, forcefully, painfully, squeezing them between his strong slender fingers, as he moved her up and down and sideways ferociously over his throbbing hardness. She rocked faster and faster over him, fresh glowing sweat trickling down her smooth curved back and between the cleavages of her tight breasts which were pressed against one another against his naked chest in their heated ravenous embrace, her moans echoing louder and louder against his ears, becoming less distinguishable and just a series of erratic animalistic grunts of desire and heat, as her hot blazing wetness dripped down into his legs wildly, each of her senses crying out to be hurt, ravished and to be pleased.

In the climax of their heat, she heard sounds of fast running footsteps thudding against the wooden stairs running up to her room, and she turned around breathlessly to look at the door. Draco looked up at her, lowered his soft moaning against her, but did not stop his hard thrusting into her.

�Ron?� She called out, gasping between pants, her breasts still jiggling forcefully against his upright hard tanned chest with him driving into her ever more aggressively.

�Yeah. Were you sleeping?� He answered her as his footsteps echoing became louder against the wooden steps.

�No,� she answered coolly although she was dying to explode and cry out in exasperation as Draco swirled his hot hardness inside of her, and she felt all the muscles of her thighs quivered uncontrollably and wildly as her heart beat loudly within her.

�I was just getting ready for bed,� she added with bated breath as Draco lifted his head from her shoulders to look at her and smirked gently. She returned his gaze with fierce intent eyes as she clawed against his naked sweaty back and he bit hard into the sore skin beneath her neck as if to make his claim, keeping their hard brutal thrusting against one another.

�Harry and Ginny and a few others are having a midnight barbeque by the lake. Do you want to come?� Ron called up to her from behind closed door decreasing the pace of his footsteps as he approached the last few steps. Hermione kept her passionate gaze against Draco, their hot sweat mixing against one another as they trickled down the flushed flesh of their bodies pressed tightly, viciously against the other. She opened her mouth slightly to breathe in and to allow some cool air to enter her, as he penetrated his gaze deeper into her own, as if in some secret acknowledgement to increase the tempo of their mad senseless deep thrusting of one another. �You wouldn�t happen to have some of those Muggle marshmallows left to toast by the campfire, would you?�

Draco opened his eyes wider, raised one eyebrow and smiled at her. She hated the way he smiled at her and wanted to see him with unbearable pain, and leant forward further against his chest, shifting her weight against his hardness, pushing him back onto her bed as she wiggled her moist flesh over him. She took only a short moment to challenge his gaze back before she begun to rock furiously, crouching over him, with his strong hands holding on to her fast moving behind, giving them an added push as he moved with her. And she saw the look of indescribable pain on his face as the muscles on his face twisted into unrecognizable shapes and he closed his eyes, sweat beading all over his face as they turned a glowing shade of red, and released a soft ecstatic moan. And it was her turn to smile as her sweat splattered onto his face, rocking wildly, ferociously over him.

�Yes!!!� She shouted out suddenly, exasperatedly, as he arched upwards to enter her deeply and the abrupt rush of pain spread to her like liquid fire, jolting her eyes wide opened. She quickly turned around to look at the door at the sound of the door knob being turned.

�I�m getting changed, Ron!� She called out loudly between excited soft pants and the sound of the door knob turning suddenly stopped. ��I�m coming in a second!�

�Are you?� Draco asked teasingly with a smug smirk across his devilishly handsome face as the sound of Ron�s muffled reply disappeared into the heated silence between them with the sound of footsteps rushing back downstairs.

�Asshole,� she replied back, squinting her eyes and biting her own lips as a smile started to crept up along the edges of her thin pink lips, whilst keeping her intense gaze towards him and bent down to kiss him hungrily.

And so she moved fiercely faster and faster against him as her lips wrestled his in a passionate battle, letting out a long heated scream into the night as shu shuddered with his hot hardness plunging deeper and deeper into her, burning her soul, killing her alive. His own thighs tensed against her flesh slapping loudly against his own, as she pointed her toes in agony, biting painfully onto her own lower lips as he moved her forcefully and viciously over him faster deeper, faster deeper, faster, harder, harder, faster�All the muscles on her legs and on her stomach seemed to contract into a tight solid wall, as she felt her insides explode with an electric spasm that quickly shot to her head and made all her muscles limpid over him, hot milky liquid flowing out of her between her hot stinging swollen thighs onto his own burning trail of wetness that had erupted together with her. She fell onto him, panting and breathing heavily against one another, their hearts pounding furiously over each other in a tangled mess of exhausted sticky dripping wasted desire.

�This can�t go on.�

He raised his head and rested it on both his elbows to take a closer look at her. She was waiting for his gaze with deep dark serious eyes as he sat upright, bringing her with him so that their eyes leveled against one another. She enunciated clearly after letting out a long soft sigh, �It�s wrong�.

�You didn�t seem to mind a few minutes ago.�

She pushed herself off him and reached under her bed for her underwear and bra which was thrown on the floor in their previous moment of lust. Hermione took a long time slipping her long slender legs into her intimate lingerie as he watched her. She clasped the bra behind her with both her hands, her back facing him, before slipping her long dress over her.

�I can�t do this. I can�t go on living like this.�

�It�s Ron, isn�t it?� he asked indignantly, grabbing her wrist painfully.

�No, Malfoy, it�s not about Ron!� She protested, reverting back to his last name which she had not said in their private vicinity for so long, as she tried to free her wrist vehemently from his grip. �It�s not about Harry! It�s not about Pansy! It�s not about anyone else!�

�So what is it, Granger?� His voice rose conspicuously.

�We graduate in two weeks,� she said in a soft sigh, looking across the room, trying to calm the situation before the storm, as she wrestled her hand from his grip and rested them on her lap.

�And I�m very much looking forward to that,� he drawled in his sexy lazy tone as he laid naked on his side next to her, his soft platinum blond hair falling lightly across his face, resting his weight on one elbow. She turned around to eye him angrily, and he thought he saw a second of hurtful flicker behind her eyes.

�Do you realize you might never see me again?� She asked coldly in a low stern voice, keeping her intent gaze against his.

He let out a loud series of laughter. �Is this what this is all about, Granger?� He laughed some more, much to her annoyance. �Of course not,� he answered her playfully. �We�ll always keep�� he paused to trace his fingers seductively down her naked back, sending her shuddering slightly, ��in touch�.

�I don�t want that,� she answered bluntly, swiping his hand off her back angrily in irritation. He remained silent watching her stare blankly at the wall on the other side of the room. The night air seemed thick and heavy as he listened to her steady breathing before she finally broke the silence between them.

�Ron has asked me to marry him.�

A cold draft suddenly seemed to sweep through the room and the unbearable silence between them.

�Congratulations.�

�Is this all you have to say?� Hermione cried back loudly, pushing herself angrily off her bed and stared at him, catching her breath as fresh sweat emanated from beneath her flushed face, and tears of incensed exasperation began to brim under her large brown eyes.

�What, Hermione? What do you want me to say?�

{Don't make the same mistake that people often make
And miss out on a chance for love}

�I don�t know!� she spat angrily back at him, as she pushed herself forcefully off the bed to stare at him. �Something! Something else!�

�When�s the wedding?�

�GET OUT!� She cried out furiously, as she threw his clothes at him. �I don�t want to ever see you again!�

�You know you don�t mean that,� he replied nonchalantly as he calmly slipped into his dark blue shirt.

�I mean every fucking word I said,� she answered angrily, fuming in her place, shaking inside. �So leave before I throw you out!�

�Well, won�t Weasley have quite a surprise when he sees me leaving your room�� he said, trailing his voice off slowly as he walked towards her, having dressed himself. �I�m sure you�d like that, wouldn�t you�?� He asked seductively as he stopped in front of her and traced his finger slowly up along her neck until they rested just under her face.

�How the hell would you know what I want?� She asked coldly, keeping her angry challenging gaze fixated towards his.

He turned to look at the crumpled bed sheet behind briefly, then turned back to look at her, a devilish smirk creeping along his lips.

�What do you want me to do, Granger?� He asked in his low stern voice, keeping his steely grey eyes against hers as he moved his warm strong hand against her face.

�I can�t live this lie anymore!� She brushed his hand off her face. �I don�t even know who I am!�

�Do you love him?�

�What?�

�Do you love him?� He repeated himself slowly and clearly.

�What if I do love him?�

Draco thought the room had suddenly become a lot hotter. He never noticed how Hermione arranged her books on the shelves according to their colors before. He never noticed how unique and special and beautiful she was until he was about to lose her.

�Then you�ll be very happy.�

And all she remembered was the warmth of his lips that pressed ever so tenderly against her forehead, lingering to taste the last warmth on her before her heart shattered into a million pieces.

{You've got to make your move, you've got to make it soon
'Cause you're dying inside}

She slapped him as hard as she could.

�FUCK YOU, MALFOY!� She yelled angrily as she pushed him off. �Fuck you!� She paused to catch her breath as she glared at him hatefully, biting down hard on her lower lips to hurt herself so she won�t feel the pain in her heart squeezing all the air out of her, killing her alive. �How dare you tell me to be happy when you know that I can never be happy without�� She could not finish her sentence as she panted heavily, thin trail of tears beginning to brim along the edge of her angry eyes, and watched him take a large confident step closer towards her.

�So what do you want me to say?� He asked her loudly, grabbing her wrist forcefully, pulling her towards him so viciously that every sense in her suddenly seemed to come alive.

�Oh yes, my Dark Lord, I am so in love with a dirty rotten Mudblood that I want to marry her, but please forgive me anyway and make me your heir as you once promised?� He shouted furiously back at her, gripping so tight onto her wrist she can no longer feel any blood in her hands, bitter sarcasm in his words. She had never seen eyes that looked so vicious before, as if he could kill her right then.

�You�re such a fucking hypocrite!� She yelled back at him with tears she could no longer hold on to rushing rapidly down her face so she could taste their acrid sourness on her stinging lips.

�Why am I a hypocrite?� He asked her angrily, raising his voice so loud her body shook with their vibration.

�Because you always tell me �don�t be afraid�, �don�t be scared�� she paused to look deep into his eyes, searching for any small trace of a soul behind those silver grey eyes, ��Well, now here�s your turn and you�re too scared.�

�What am I scared of, Granger?� She watched a drop of sweat follow slowly along the solid curve of his face until it fell into the air beneath, with a brief sparkle from his sweat catching her eye as they passed the line of candlelight behind him, as if all time on earth has slowed.

�The way you feel, damn it!� Hermione screamed so loudly it felt like someone had pulled out her larynx, leaving her an unbearable stinging pain that scorched all the way down her throat. Tears streamed down her face as she cried out exasperatedly, pounding furiously against his chest. �That you love me! That you need me! That you can�t live without me!�

�I can�t love you.�

She looked up at him, feeling as if she would wake up from the nightmare any time soon. But she didn�t. And the hot tears on her face seemed to have suddenly frozen on her cheeks, suspended in time.

�Thank you,� she whispered coldly, her eyes devoid of emotion and her voice shaking, as she finally broke the long silence between. She saw the question behind his silver gray eyes. �I finally understand,� she added softly with a melancholic sigh as she took in his scent so close to him.

�What do you understand?� He shouted angrily, squeezing her arms tighter so that the tears that had stopped on her face began to trickle down her face again. Her eyes became blurred with all the tears in their way, as she stood paralyzed in front of him, unable to move even a muscle, unable to even keep breathing.

�That it was all just a game, Malfoy!� She cried out angrily, tears rushing down her hurtful eyes as she tried to free herself from his tight grasp. ��That I was stupid enough to let you use me. And now that you have me �� she paused to catch her breathe, panting loudly as she stared hatefully into his eyes, ��Have everything of me�You are just going to break my heart and walk away, because it never meant anything to you�� She stopped as she freed herself from his grasp and took a step away from him, never taking her large sad eyes away from his, ��And I was a fool to think that it did, even for a second.�

�I never wanted to hurt you!� He called out after her, as he started to walk towards her.

�Do me a favor, Malfoy, and please leave,� she pleaded to him in her shaking soft voice, as her body gathered its last drop of energy as one does for their last gasp of air. �I don�t want to see you. I don�t want to know you. I don�t want to have anything to do with you ever again!� She cried out furiously as she stepped backwards towards the wooden door, her dress now soaked with the tears that had streamed down her face and down her neck like blood that had been slowly drained out of a butchered animal.

�You don�t love him!�

�But you can�t love me,� she replied back, tears stinging in her eyes.

�What do you expect, Granger?� He asked her, blood shooting rapidly through his veins like fire that was consuming all of him.ill ill you stand by my side as I kill your Mudblood parents? Are you going to hold my hand as I torture your two best friends? Are you willing to spend the rest of your life with someone who could possibly be the next Dark Lord? Are you?�

�No,� she answered him, her face devoid of the pain which was slowly squeezing all the blood out of her heart, quickly numbing her of all sensation.
�When I return, I expect you to be gone,� she said coldly, as she turned away from him to turn the door knob and opened the door, fighting hard to hold back the fresh waves of tears that were pushing against her eyes, waiting to release all her sadness into the world.

�Hermione�?�

She stopped for a second at the sound of his voice so beautiful and sad against the solitude of the night, lingering in the room as if to call her back to his embrace. He had only mentioned her name, yet the way he had melancholically called after her meant the world to her. But she still did not turn to look back at him, keeping her eyes resolutely at her hand that was holding the door. She closed her eyes as a single tear drop began to flow down gently from one eye, the sorrowful eye he could not see and would never see again. The gods must have lifted her heart out of her body at that very instant.

�The wedding is in two months.�

And she slammed the door shut behind her as she rushed downstairs crying more than she had ever cried in her whole life.

�Hermione!� He called out after her.

But only the silence of the room answered him. There was a brief flicker behind his steely grey eyes as the candles in the room began to fade into the darkness. If she had been in the room and looked close enough, she would have seen the slight moisture under in his eyes against the dim reflection of the dying candles gasping for their last light. But she wasn�t. And for the first time in his life, Draco felt his own heart collapsing within him.

{Yes, I�m a man, but I cry}

She was crying heavily as she rushed down the stairs, sobbing loudly, not caring if anyone heard her or saw her. Every part of her felt like their purpose of existence had been stolen from them, and she did not have any idea how she could go living. Her chest was hurting from all the loud heaving of her crying, and her eyes were red and stinging with the hot tears that never seemed to end as it burned the skin they came into contact with. Her knees felt so weak she wondered why she had not fallen and tumbled down the stairs. If she was lucky enough, she might even break her neck. And she would not have to spend the rest of her life thinking about him. Hermione could not breathe as the endless tears seemed to suffocate her. But there was no greater pain than the excruciating pain piercing through her heart.

�Hermione? Are you alright?� Ron asked, shocked to see her crying so heavily as he waited for her at the bottom of the stairs.

She threw her arms around his shoulder and wept uncontrollably onto him, her heavy tears quickly wetting through his shirt.

�I�m sorry, Ron! I�m sorry!� She kept crying out into his shoulder, unable to stop the pain in her heart.

�What happened? You were alright a few hours ago,� he whispered gently against her, tenderly stroking her head as she continued to weep madly onto him.

�I�m scared,� she answered breathlessly, tears running down her eyes as she hugged him tighter.

�There�s nothing to be scared of, Hermione,� Ron reassured her as he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her into his embrace. �I�m here. And I promise I�ll never let anything or anyone hurt you.�

He cupped his hand around her chin and pulled her face up to look at her, her eyes still wet and red from all the crying. He whispered to her, as he kept his bright blue eyes against her, �You know I love you.�

�I know! Oh god, I know!� She wailed even louder as she hugged him tighter, squeezing him so hard he wondered where her delicate arms found their strength. Hermione cried even harder against his comforting chest, weeping like there was no tomorrow, the pain in her heart only growing in the arms of another. She did not think she could possibly hate herself even more than she did now, as she cried like she had never cried before. But even all the tears in the world would not wash away the pain inside her. She knew then, at that very instant, that the day she walked away from him would be the beginning of her death.

�It�ll be alright, Hermione,� Ron comforted as he pulled her towards the warmth of the fireplace. �Everyone knows we�ll be happy together.�

{I have fears, I won�t lie}

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What Good is a Heart