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Revenge 2: Hell Hath No Fury Like A Hermione.	By : Daya Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Snape/Hermione Views: 3473 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Still owning not a lot. Especially anything you recognise.

*

�Iiiiiiiiiiii get no KICK from champagne, mere�eh.. whadda words �gain? Aaaaah, �member now, mere alcohoooool jus� don� frill� frill...� bugger, can� say stupid word, sure English language wasn�t this difficult this morning, wait, might have got it� �THRILL me!�

Must have drinkie to celebrate getting evil horribly complicated and extremely deceptive word out. Am shexy, histhisticated young womho cho can handle her drink completely, and alsho responshibly.

Oof. Really must remember to move coffee table closer to sofa to avoid potentially embarrassing �falling off sofa� situation. Hmm. Not sure why I am on floor, but Chloe has very interesting socks on.

Also appear to be out of vodka. Glare suspiciously at Chloe, cow must have been drinking it when I washn�t looking. She always does this. Ok, right, I can bloody well vanish a hippogriff if I wan� to, can bloody well transfigure one clear substance to a slightly more alcoholic clear substance. Peer viciously at a glass of water that�s currently sitting on the coffee table.

�Gerroff�� I mutter, shaking off hand that has suddenly wrapped round arm.

�Hermione, don�t you think you�ve had enough?�

Glare is spoilt slightly by the fact Ginny keeps swaying. Is conspiracy, trying to convince me of my drunkness. �Stop moving!� I protest.

�Okkkkkkay,� Ginny glances at Chloe. �I think you�ve had enough, and I think it might be time for you to stop now.�

�No! You�re a mediwitch� alcohol is good for shocks.�

�I�m a trainee mediwitch. And I think you�ll find its brandy, that�s good for shocks, very small amounts of brandy, not an entire family sized bottle of vodka.�

So what? Brandy works for some, and well vodka definitely works for me. Am still attempting to transfigure glass of water. Currently have several penguins sitting in a bewildered manner on the coffee table thanks to my efforts.

Peer up through fringe at my traitorous housemates. So called friends indeed. Huh. �Why are you two not drinkin�?�

�Um,� Chloe glances at Ginny, and then desperately grabs a random bottle of red wine. �We are, see!�

Would be rather more effective if she didn�t wince as she swallows. Chloe attempts to make subtle gestures to Ginny to take the bottle.

Am allowed to get pissed. After all, not everyday your bastard boyfriend cheats on you�

Sniff.

*

Feel much better now entire household has joined in with binge drinking session. Nuffing can�t be solved by huge drink.

�I want to make a speech!� I suddenly declare, clambering onto perilously wobbling sofa.

�Speech! Speech!� See, Chloe and Ginny have gotten tang ang of this now. They are looking at me eagerly as if I am about to make speech to rival Martin Luther King�s. Although, hopefully, no one will shoot me. Though you never know� What profound words of wisdom are about to escape my lips? What exquisitely intelligent statement am I about to make?

�Severus Sergei Snape, is a cheating, lying� big nosed�� really struggling for coherence here� �cheating�� nope, said that already, �um, student groping��

�Yeah!� Chloe cheers, interruptmy rmy rapidly running afromfrom me train of thought. �Severus Snape�s a cheating bastard! All men are bastards �cept my Ron though. My Ron�s lovely.� Chloe�s rapidly going misty eyed.

�Only because he barely has two braincells to rub together.� Ginny�s tone is rather tart.

�That�s my bloke you�re talking about!� Chloe frowns springing to her ginger boyfriend�s defence.

�Yeah, but he�s my brother, and much as I love him, he�s as daft as a hedgehog.�

�True.� Chloe looks thoughtful.

There really is no denying that. Much as I love my mate, I can�t deny the hedgehog comparison. Suddenly remember was saying somefink very important. Now what was it again� oh yes!

�Oi! This is my emotional crisis here. It�s my bloke who�s the issue!� Waves hands and arms around flamboyantly disturbing settling penguins.

�Very sorry, �Mione,� both women adopt suitably hangdog expressions.

�Better!� Remove random penguin from foot. �Now. Severus has been found guilty of the most bastardly crime ever, cheating on his girlfriend, me, with a younger woman. Or more accurately, a stupid little hair flicking, not to mention, Slytherin bitch. He must be�� Dramatic pause� �Punished!�

�Oh Merlin, not again�� I hear Chloe mutter. Tactfully decide to ignore it.

Ginny is far more enthusiastic about the idea. �Yeah! Punish him! Bastard!�

�The question is�. how?� Successfully manage tise ise one eyebrow, feat which would never haven acn achieved if was sober.

Ginny�s eyes light up �We could always remove his��

�Already thoughtit.�it.�

�Oh,� disappointment is clear on my darling friend�s face. �What about if we did it with a rusty��

�And thought of that...�

�Ah crap.�

Decide to sprawl comfortably on sofa. Funny, don�t remember the carpet being this thick, but tis very nice to wiggle one�s toes in.

�Everything was perfect, you knowveryverything. We were happy.�

�Like me and Remus,� Ginny sighs happily.

Thankfully Chloe elbows her in the ribs before I can throttle her. �Anyway,� I throw her a poisonous look, �We were happy. Good conversation, shared sense of humour, bloody fantastic sex, believe me, the man can do more with his tongue than just spit barbed comments at students��

�Hermione. We know. Every time you get pissed, you tell us. It�s traumatising. He used to be our teacher, you do know that don�t you? He used to be our evil, sarky, git of a potions master.�

�Used to be mine too.�

�Yes, but we didn�t end up shagging him.�

�I bet bloody Cassandra Simmerson is going to be shagging him now.�

Oh dear, the wailing has begun again. Must get this under control before I decide to re-enter society.

�Ok,� Ginny is back in practical mode. �What didn�t you and Severus have? What was the one thing that wasn�t a bed of roses?�

Sniff pathetically. �Nope, nothing, it was perfect.�

�Oh come on. No relationship is perfect. Remus snores like� well, he snores like an asthmatic werewolf. He�s so not perfect.�

�Ron is terrible at expressing his feelings.� Chloe adds, looking at me expectantly.

�Well� Sev has� had a real issue with commitment.�

�What do you mean?� Ginny is suddenly alert.

Can feel self blushing. �Well, you know, we talked about our future and stuff, but he didn�t really want to make plans for it��

�Such as?�

Can feel humiliation being almost comple �He �He didn�t ever want to get married. Not to me, not to anyone. Said being under the thumb of the Dark Lord for so long had put him off that level of commitment forever.�

�Didn�t want to get married, huh?� Ginny has leant down and is currently rubbing something dark and soft between her fingers.

�Nope. I mean, its not like I wanted to get married, it�s not like I was leaving Cosmo Bride

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Revenge 2: Hell Hath No Fury Like A Hermione.