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Seeker	By : Padfoot Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 4992 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 2
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A/N: This
is a little epilogue I fumbled together. If you think this part sucks, just
disregard it. I just wanted to give a somewhat more happy ending for those who
wanted one.

Part
three: Draco

I�m
desperately trying not to look at you, but I�m failing miserably. You�re sitting
there absentmindedly staring at your plate, surrounded by your Gryffindor-posse
who are merrily enjoying their lunch. Why isn�t anyone doing anything? Why isn�t
anyone trying to help you? Has everyone given up? Lord knows I can�t help you,
but someone else should.

Why
isn�t Weasley shaking you by the shoulders or Granger slapping some sense into
you? Her right hook is mean enough to do that.

Trust
me, I know.

Suddenly
you get up from your seat and make your way out of the Great Hall. Why isn�t
anyone going after you? Is everyone blind?

I�m
getting up from my seat to go after you, not caring if anyone
notices.

I
find you in the nearest bathroom getting yourself cleaned up after you�ve
obviously just been sick. I wait by the door, watching you. Your leaning on the
sink and you�re staring at your refection in the mirror. The look on your face
as you�re looking at yourself is utterly disconcerting. I can�t really describe
it, but it isn�t a look anyone should give when they�re looking at their own
reflection. It�s like you�re staring at your worst enemy. Like you would stare
at the Dark Lord. But even at him you wouldn�t look at in such a mocking way.

Your
head suddenly snaps in my direction as you�ve become aware of my presence. Your
body stiffens. You look away again almost instantly as your eyes meet mine. It�s
as if you�re trying to wish me away.
Like; when you can�t see me, I�m not there.

No.
You�re not wishing me away! Not this time.

I
can see you physically shaking as I�m walking towards you. What is all this hut
you�re keeping pent up Harry? Why can�t you just let it out? If not to me; to
someone else?

But
there is no one else is there? No one dares to push you. They�re hoping you�ll
come around in due time. Letting you fix it on your own time. But it�s not
working is it?

Look
at me Harry.

I
reach out with my hand and force your head up so your gaze meets mine.
Reluctantly you look into my eyes, but don�t recoil all the
same.

You
surprise me as suddenly I find my mouth covered with yours. You�re hungrily
kissing me, as if you�re trying to extract something from me. Something you
desperately need. Still desperately searching for filling that void inside of
you.

But
I can�t fill that void Harry. It�s obvious now isn�t it? After all this
time.

You�re
trying to unbutton my shirt. You�re hands are trembling with need and I cover
them with mine to stop you.

No
Harry. Not this time.

You
look at me pleadingly and I have to mentally strain myself not to give in to
you.

But
I won�t. Not this time.

You�re
trying to kiss me again, but I stop you.

You�re
trying to touch me, but I won�t let you.

How
much I wish I could help you. I wish I could make you feel how I feel. Sometimes
I wish I was numb. So I wouldn�t have to feel this bittersweet sorrow. I love
how I feel towards you and I love how you need me so desperately; day after day.
But I hate how it makes me feel when I don�t seem to be able to give to you what
you�re searching for. And I live in fear of the day that you�ll search it with
someone else.

You�re
getting angry from my refusal. Your attempts to make love to me are stopping and
instead your trying to hurt me out of desperation. I can feel a dull pain of
your fists colliding with my chest, but it is nothing compared to the pain of my
heart breaking from the sight of you. You�re physically suffering and knowing
that I could easily ease that ache is tearing me from the
inside.

Your
punches decrease. Your body is too malnourished, your mind too tired.

I
pull you in a tight embrace, but you do not return it.

�I
love you, Harry� I say in a hoarse whisper.

I
don�t know why I said it, but it�s the truth all the same. And it feels good
saying the truth for once. And now
it�s out there and I can�t take it back. And I don�t care.

Your
body is stiffening almost immediately. Your shaking and if I wasn�t supporting
both our weights I�m sure you would have tumbled to the floor. I can feel your
arms closing around my back, holding on to me as a drowning man holding onto a
life raft. As if I might disappear if you won�t hold on tight enough.

I
can�t suppress a surprised gasp as I realise something.

Are
you�re crying?

You
burry your head in the crook of my neck and start sobbing violently.

You�re
actually crying!?

You�re
breaking down. Physically and mentally. Spilling your emotions as I cradle you
in my arms. I can�t help but cry myself. How can my declaration of love enforce
such a reaction out of you?

The
first real reaction you�ve given in months.

We
sink to the floor as my legs don�t seem to continue being able to support us
both.

Never
in my life have I been so sad and happy at the same time.

It
hurts to see you breaking down like this.

But
that means you can be built up again.

Live
again.

Feel
again.

Love
again.

Cry,
Harry! Hold on to me and cry. Cry for those you�ve loved and lost.

I
just love you. I won�t get lost.

I
just love you.

*********

End
of Chapter 3
- 2
- 3
- 4
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