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Why Draco Should Not Be Using Tampons	By : Padfoot Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Draco/Hermione Views: 43388 -:- Recommendations : 3 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Day one: Sunday

Part two



         “You’re walking like a duck.”

         “Jee, thanks!” Hermione replied annoyedly.

         “Stop trying to shake your hips so much,” Malfoy said with a frown.

         “I do not shake my hips!”

         This morning, after she had gotten herself dressed and ready to go out, Hermione had walked into the common room only to run into Malfoy giving her a ‘now what?’-sort of look.

         Good question.

         Something they both had realised by then, was that just changing into someone else’s appearance didn’t make the transaction believable. Malfoy, even in Hermione’s body, was just oozing Slytherin arrogance and the Malfoy-scowl he constantly sported was just a dead giveaway. They both had to work on the way they ought to present themselves.

         And it was going to take a lot of work.

         Even a simple task as walking proved to be a difficulty. The change of structure in hips and pelvises made it uncomfortable to walk in for both of them; let alone making it seem like they possessed said bodies for over 16 years. And then there were the physical gestures. Malfoy had great difficulty in shrugging his aristocratic posture and exchanging it for a whatever-is-the-fastest-and-most-practical demeanour. Hermione on the other hand didn’t have all that much trouble with it. Over the years she, Ron and Harry had relied on imitating Malfoy whenever they were trying to get across how stupid of a git he was being.

         So she had had lots and lots of practise.

         Hermione realised though that a complete analysis of each other was just too much work and couldn’t be done in the span of 10 days. The grammar, the way they use their voices, the facial expressions, the little subconscious quirks,... It was all too much. They just had to try to keep a low profile for the next ten days and hope people wouldn’t notice.

         But there were some things that needed straightening out before they could hope to successfully pull this off.

         “So,” Malfoy started as he flopped himself on the couch, ”what’s really going on between you and the Weasel?”

         “What do you mean?” Hermione asked, but couldn’t hide a blush creeping on her cheeks. “Nothing!”

         “Stop that” Malfoy sneered. “Blushing doesn’t suit my face. And don’t hold me for a fool; I’ve seen the way you interact. So spill it.”

         Hermione sighed. “Really, we’re just friends. Sure, sometimes there are moments when...” she trailed off. “But in the end we’ll probably only remain that; friends”.

         Malfoy quirked an eyebrow.

         “Those ‘moments’, what exactly do you mean by that?” he asked. “Moments of platonic shagging?”

         “Merlin, Malfoy!” Hermione exclaimed. “Get your mind out of the gutter! Not everyone is as ‘loose of spirits’ as you Slytherins.”

         “I know,” he replied offhandedly. “So I advise you to enjoy these upcoming ten days to the fullest, since that’s the closest you’ll ever got to that amount of fun.”

         “Don’t even make me think about it,” Hermione grunted. “So, are you currently, er, ‘shagging’ anyone?”

         “My my aren’t we prying?” Malfoy said. “Let’s just say that my nights are never lonely and that I have lots of girls at my disposal to ensure that.”

         “Don’t make me gag,” Hermione huffed.

         “Gag all you like,” Malfoy said. “At least I don’t have a sexually oppressed stick up my bum.”

         “We’ve switched bums, remember,” Hermione pointed out.

         “Oh, that’s right. So perhaps I should go and find a pretty lesbian to go and get that stick removed whilst it is still in my possession. I’m always up for experiments,” he said with a wink.

         “That’s not funny!” Hermione shrieked. “As long as you treat my body with respect; I’ll do the same. But don’t expect me to do so otherwise.”

         “Alright, alright,” Malfoy said. “No need to get your panties in a twist. I’ll be good.”

         “You better be!” Hermione huffed as she got up from her chair. “I’m going to lunch”

         They had been practising throughout the morning without having had any breakfast. Hence, she was starving and needed some nourishment. Even if that meant facing the Slytherins during that process.

*

         This, in Hermione’s book, was the worst lunch by far. She felt like a rabbit that had been dropped in a nest of angry vipers. When she had first approached the Slytherin table a rush of fear had crept up on her. She felt as if they could see right through her disguise.

         But, off course, they didn’t.

         But that didn’t make the whole experience any better. It appeared that miss pug-face Pansy Parkinson had a rather clingy personality. Hermione had to fight not to hurl when Pansy kept stroking her inner thigh all the way through lunch. She couldn’t possibly believe Draco actually fancied this girl. She really needed to consult him on how to get rid of Pansy. Quickly.

Hermione also had to fight the almost automatic urge to cross her legs. She doubted Malfoy would like it if she did that; either everyone would think he was gay or either deprived of testicles. Either way; she didn’t think he’d be pleased with either of those assumptions. So she kept her legs firmly apart, tried very hard to ignore Pansy’s wanton touches and ate her lunch. She couldn’t help but steal envious glances at the Gryffindor-table where Malfoy was seated with Harry and Ron. If only she could talk to her friends about this. Having their support would surely get her through this. But no; she only had Malfoy and the Slytherins.

Goody!

*

“Everything alright ‘Mione?” Potter asked worriedly as they were sitting in the library while doing their Transfiguration homework. “You seem kind of out of it.”

“I’m just spiffing” Draco answered sarcastically, not looking up from his book. Sure, he was having to endure the presence of Potty and the Weasel; but that didn’t mean he had to enjoy it.

“You know you can tell us if there’s anything wrong, right?” Weasley said.

“Cramps!” Draco blurted out, hoping this would get them of his back.

It did.

Draco had to suppress a smirk. Of all the times he heard the girls use this excuse he never thought he was ever going to get to use it and get away with it. Now the two goodie-goodies started babbling about the upcoming Quidditch season. Draco praised himself lucky that it wouldn’t start for another month, or Granger was going to have to take his place. And he honestly didn’t think she had so much as touched a broom since those flying-lessons in their first year.

Draco looked over at the table on the far left and saw Granger sitting there. He had to hand it to the girl; she had endurance. From the moment she had sat down for lunch, Pansy had been all over her and had been stalking her ever since, and she hadn’t even flinched.

Honestly, even he himself wasn’t that strong-minded.

*

         “I can’t believe you did that!” Malfoy bellowed as he stormed into their shared common room.

         “Well, what did you expect me to do?” Hermione yelled in defence.

Today didn’t go exactly as planned. Apparently today, of all days, Pansy had decided to try and put a move on Malfoy. Hermione was both shocked and horrified when right after dinner she suddenly had found herself pressed against the wall and engulfed in an aggressive lip-lock by abovementioned individual.

         That was one exotic fantasy that just went right out the window.

         ...

         If only it hadn’t been Pansy.

         ...

         “You didn’t have to slap her!” Malfoy pointed out. “You know what it will take me to get her back on my good side.”

         “You honestly want her?” Hermione asked disbelievingly.

         “No. Are you kidding? But I need to play nice with her because of our family ties. Good way to mess things up Granger.”

         “So I’m messing things up, am I?” Hermione asked as she crossed her arms in front of her chest. “Don’t you think that it’s utterly pathetic to be friends with someone because your daddy tells you to?”

         Malfoy glared at her.

         “I don’t need your judgement; Mudblood.”

         “This is getting old, Malfoy,” Hermione huffed.

         “So is this whole arrangement,” Malfoy growled. “From here on you won’t slap my friends and I won’t slap yours and for the rest; we keep out of each others way.”

         “You’re sure about that?” Hermione asked.

         “Yes!” Malfoy spat.

         “What if you suddenly were to need my help?” she asked dryly.

         “I don’t need any help!”

         “Alright,” Hermione said light-heartedly, “but if you suddenly were to decide that you would need my help tomorrow; don’t come crying to me.”

         “Trust me; I won’t” Malfoy said as he made his exit towards his room, leaving a surprisingly cheerful Hermione standing in the common room whom for some reason was quite looking forward to tomorrow morning.

***************

End of day one, part two.
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Why Draco Should Not Be Using Tampons