MST: Oh! You said Snape! I thought you said Snake!

A blink later, in the most feared dungeon of Hogwarts.

Prof. Dumbledore: *looking at three very unpleased men (A. N.: As if it was his fault that they were together. Eheheh)* Now, I’ve always heard that three is company’

Lucius: What am I doing here? Hi, Severus! *nice smile that doesn’t suit his face, as far as Roman’s concerned*

Severus: *nodding* Lucius.

Muffy: *growl*

Prof. Dumbledore: Oh, this is Muffy, our beautiful snow leopard. She’s security, in case anyone decides to test his fingers around someone else’s throat, you know.

Muffy: Trust me, you don’t want to know.

Lucius / Severus: We’re not going to kill each other!

Prof. Dumbledore: And that’s why we’re not going to need you, Muffy.

Muffy: What? But’ *trying to find reason*’ there’s Sirius too! *points at Sirius, looks at Dumbledore* Can you guarantee he’s safe?

Prof. Dumbledore: Oh, don’t worry: he’s got his eyes firmly set on the goal’ *snicker* They'll be fine.

Muffy: Are you saying I’m expendable? Think before you answer.

Prof. Dumbledore: *gently patting Muffy’s head* Nobody’s saying that, Muffy. It’s just that this isn’t a challenge for you really’

Muffy: Hummmm’..

Prof. Dumbledore: Now, here’s something to make you feel better while our boys read the fic *flashes her the Peter Muse*

Peter Muse: Eeeeeeeeekkkkk *runs around, panicked, wondering what happened to Lady Piper’s cleavage*

Muffy: *beaming* Thanks! *runs out of the room after him*

Prof. Dumbledore: My cue, boys. Have fun!

Severus: *ironically* Oh, sure! Been waiting all my life to have fun with this! *snort*

Original fic’s name: Oh! You said Snape! I thought you said Snake!

 Severus: Let me guess: NC-17, slash, me, Lucius’

Prof. Dumbledore: It’s NC-17, all right. Wouldn’t call it slash, though. Het, maybe’ I think’ *giggles* *goes puff*

Lucius: You think?!

Severus: *frown n.’ only one*

Sirius: No’ fun’ *goes transparent*

Lucius: Still don’t know what I’m doing here.

Sirius: *between his teeth* Bugging in.

Severus: Commenting on a fic for the twisted pleasure of the readers. *cheerfully* Make yourself comfy!

Sirius: It all started for a noble cause. Something like me and Severus getting along or something’ I’m not quite sure ‘cause last fic is still a big wide blur’

Severus: Yes, that! Now it’s just pure simple torture! *beams at Lucius* I think you’ll feel right at home!

Sirius: himshimself* I sense a disturbance in the force’

Lucius twitched against the chains holding him down.

Lucius: I see’ I’ve been caught by Aurors in this one.

Severus: *between his teeth* You wish. *to Lucius* Coffee?

He was naked,

Lucius: Not a bad start. Beauty should be seen.

Severus: Left modesty at home, as usual?

Lucius: What’s modesty ever done for anyone?

Sirius: He’s got a point.

Severus: First: oh, not that pun again! Second: What?!

Sirius: *cheerfully* Jealous already? It was way too easy’

Severus: Dream on. By the way, if you wanna shag me, you don’t throw yourself at someone else. Clear?

Sirius: Dear, right now, I could shag’

Lucius: ‘McGonagall?

Sirius: *frowns* Can we keep it within the basic limits of decency’

Severus: *snort*

Sirius: ‘and slash, please? Let’s just say right now I could shag’

Severus: ‘Dumbledore?

Sirius: *slightly dizzy* As I was saying, right now, I’m so horny I could just shag’

Lucius: A dementor?

Sirius: That was plain mean. Perhaps a’

Severus: ‘dead dog?

Sirius; Ok, forget it.

Lucius: Come on, now you’re gonna say it!

Sirius: No. You don’t care, I don’t say.

Severus: Say it and get it over with.

Sirius: Lucius, I could shag Lucius.

Lucius: Eeeeeekkkkk!

Severus: Shut up, you’re halfway out of that closet already. *to Sirius* No, you’re not gonna shag him.

Sirius: Stop me.

Severus: You do it, we don’t shag.

Sirius: *thinking hard about the options*

Lucius: For the record, I’m straig’

Severus: Don’t.

chained on both arms

Sirius: *having a brainstorm* We can have a threesome!

Severus: I demand exclusivity.

Lucius: Will anybody listen to me? I am not g’

Severus: Shut up! No one’s asking for your opinion!

Lucius: How dare you?

Sirius: Dear, sweetest Lucius, we apologise’

Severus: We do not.

Sirius: ‘for our behaviour. Will you join us in a threesome?

Lucius: Huh’no?

Sirius: *pouts*

and no amount of straining could get him out of this position.

Lucius: Well, it’s to be expected, seeing I’m chained and I’m only human.

Severus: Human’ I’m not even going down that road’

Sirius: *making up a plan. Deciding it takes too long. Throws himself at Severus' neck*

Severus: Not in the mood. *pushes him away*

"Thirteen years as penance," Voldemort had remarked.

Lucius: Penance? Whatever for?

Sirius: *thinking to himself* What Severus is putting me through’

Severus: Cheating. He hates that.

Lucius: I wouldn’t know, now, would I? Since I’m straight!

Severus: We’ll come back to that in a couple of minutes.

"You will serve me thirteen years as payback for abandoning me. You owe it to me."

Lucius: What for?! Who the Hell wrote this?

Sirius: If it makes you feel better, you won't be worrying about that for long...

Lucius knew he wouldn't be chained up for those thirteen years.

Lucius: *ironically* No, had I abandoned him and I’d have a grave all for myself for those thirteen years!

Sirius: In no time you'll wish he'd considered that option.

As it was, he was now in a dark cell having been placed there by Avery.

Severus: *noticing Lucius’ face as Avery’s name came up* Hold on to that name for as long as you can. You’ll be asking for him before you know.

Lucius: I know what you’re trying to do...

Severus: Indeed...?

Lucius: ...You’re trying to scare me. Not working...

Severus: Good to know that.

Lucius: ...This is just a silly story...

Sirius: *snort* Exactly.

Lucius: What bad can come out of it?

Sirius: *smiling* None, of course...

Lucius: What do I care if some lifeless being decided to make me interact with someone’

*Severus and Sirius gather around the thick piece of paper, reading a couple of pages ahead. They giggle*

Lucius: ‘ that I wouldn’t want’

*Severus points at something in the middle of some page. Sirius seems surprised. Even *Sirius* seems surprised*

Lucius: ‘ to’ *realizing*’ What?

Sirius/Severus: *they quickly stop what they were doing* Nothing’ nothing’

Voldemort had called it a punishment.