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MST: Oh! You said Snape! I thought you said Snake!	By : Roman Category: Harry Potter > General > General Views: 1340 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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A blink later, in the most feared dungeon of Hogwarts.
Prof. Dumbledore: *looking at three very unpleased men (A. N.: As if it was his fault that they were together. Eheheh)* Now, I’ve always heard that three is company’
Lucius: What am I doing here? Hi, Severus! *nice smile that doesn’t suit his face, as far as Roman’s concerned*
Severus: *nodding* Lucius.
Muffy: *growl*
Prof. Dumbledore: Oh, this is Muffy, our beautiful snow leopard. She’s security, in case anyone decides to test his fingers around someone else’s throat, you know.
Muffy: Trust me, you don’t want to know.
Lucius / Severus: We’re not going to kill each other!
Prof. Dumbledore: And that’s why we’re not going to need you, Muffy.
Muffy: What? But’ *trying to find reason*’ there’s Sirius too! *points at Sirius, looks at Dumbledore* Can you guarantee he’s safe?
Prof. Dumbledore: Oh, don’t worry: he’s got his eyes firmly set on the goal’ *snicker* They'll be fine.
Muffy: Are you saying I’m expendable? Think before you answer.
Prof. Dumbledore: *gently patting Muffy’s head* Nobody’s saying that, Muffy. It’s just that this isn’t a challenge for you really’
Muffy: Hummmm’..
Prof. Dumbledore: Now, here’s something to make you feel better while our boys read the fic *flashes her the Peter Muse*
Peter Muse: Eeeeeeeeekkkkk *runs around, panicked, wondering what happened to Lady Piper’s cleavage*
Muffy: *beaming* Thanks! *runs out of the room after him*
Prof. Dumbledore: My cue, boys. Have fun!
Severus: *ironically* Oh, sure! Been waiting all my life to have fun with this! *snort*
Original fic’s name: Oh! You said Snape! I thought you said Snake!
Severus: Let me guess: NC-17, slash, me, Lucius’
Prof. Dumbledore: It’s NC-17, all right. Wouldn’t call it slash, though. Het, maybe’ I think’ *giggles* *goes puff*
Lucius: You think?!
Severus: *frown n.’ only one*
Sirius: No’ fun’ *goes transparent*
Lucius: Still don’t know what I’m doing here.
Sirius: *between his teeth* Bugging in.
Severus: Commenting on a fic for the twisted pleasure of the readers. *cheerfully* Make yourself comfy!
Sirius: It all started for a noble cause. Something like me and Severus getting along or something’ I’m not quite sure ‘cause last fic is still a big wide blur’
Severus: Yes, that! Now it’s just pure simple torture! *beams at Lucius* I think you’ll feel right at home!
Sirius: himshimself* I sense a disturbance in the force’
Lucius twitched against the chains holding him down.
Lucius: I see’ I’ve been caught by Aurors in this one.
Severus: *between his teeth* You wish. *to Lucius* Coffee?
He was naked,
Lucius: Not a bad start. Beauty should be seen.
Severus: Left modesty at home, as usual?
Lucius: What’s modesty ever done for anyone?
Sirius: He’s got a point.
Severus: First: oh, not that pun again! Second: What?!
Sirius: *cheerfully* Jealous already? It was way too easy’
Severus: Dream on. By the way, if you wanna shag me, you don’t throw yourself at someone else. Clear?
Sirius: Dear, right now, I could shag’
Lucius: ‘McGonagall?
Sirius: *frowns* Can we keep it within the basic limits of decency’
Severus: *snort*
Sirius: ‘and slash, please? Let’s just say right now I could shag’
Severus: ‘Dumbledore?
Sirius: *slightly dizzy* As I was saying, right now, I’m so horny I could just shag’
Lucius: A dementor?
Sirius: That was plain mean. Perhaps a’
Severus: ‘dead dog?
Sirius; Ok, forget it.
Lucius: Come on, now you’re gonna say it!
Sirius: No. You don’t care, I don’t say.
Severus: Say it and get it over with.
Sirius: Lucius, I could shag Lucius.
Lucius: Eeeeeekkkkk!
Severus: Shut up, you’re halfway out of that closet already. *to Sirius* No, you’re not gonna shag him.
Sirius: Stop me.
Severus: You do it, we don’t shag.
Sirius: *thinking hard about the options*
Lucius: For the record, I’m straig’
Severus: Don’t.
chained on both arms
Sirius: *having a brainstorm* We can have a threesome!
Severus: I demand exclusivity.
Lucius: Will anybody listen to me? I am not g’
Severus: Shut up! No one’s asking for your opinion!
Lucius: How dare you?
Sirius: Dear, sweetest Lucius, we apologise’
Severus: We do not.
Sirius: ‘for our behaviour. Will you join us in a threesome?
Lucius: Huh’no?
Sirius: *pouts*
and no amount of straining could get him out of this position.
Lucius: Well, it’s to be expected, seeing I’m chained and I’m only human.
Severus: Human’ I’m not even going down that road’
Sirius: *making up a plan. Deciding it takes too long. Throws himself at Severus' neck*
Severus: Not in the mood. *pushes him away*
"Thirteen years as penance," Voldemort had remarked.
Lucius: Penance? Whatever for?
Sirius: *thinking to himself* What Severus is putting me through’
Severus: Cheating. He hates that.
Lucius: I wouldn’t know, now, would I? Since I’m straight!
Severus: We’ll come back to that in a couple of minutes.
"You will serve me thirteen years as payback for abandoning me. You owe it to me."
Lucius: What for?! Who the Hell wrote this?
Sirius: If it makes you feel better, you won't be worrying about that for long...
Lucius knew he wouldn't be chained up for those thirteen years.
Lucius: *ironically* No, had I abandoned him and I’d have a grave all for myself for those thirteen years!
Sirius: In no time you'll wish he'd considered that option.
As it was, he was now in a dark cell having been placed there by Avery.
Severus: *noticing Lucius’ face as Avery’s name came up* Hold on to that name for as long as you can. You’ll be asking for him before you know.
Lucius: I know what you’re trying to do...
Severus: Indeed...?
Lucius: ...You’re trying to scare me. Not working...
Severus: Good to know that.
Lucius: ...This is just a silly story...
Sirius: *snort* Exactly.
Lucius: What bad can come out of it?
Sirius: *smiling* None, of course...
Lucius: What do I care if some lifeless being decided to make me interact with someone’
*Severus and Sirius gather around the thick piece of paper, reading a couple of pages ahead. They giggle*
Lucius: ‘ that I wouldn’t want’
*Severus points at something in the middle of some page. Sirius seems surprised. Even *Sirius* seems surprised*
Lucius: ‘ to’ *realizing*’ What?
Sirius/Severus: *they quickly stop what they were doing* Nothing’ nothing’
Voldemort had called it a punishment.
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MST: Oh! You said Snape! I thought you said Snake!