Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

To Have Not	By : MontanaDan Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Snape Views: 22763 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 2
- 3
- 4
For disclaimers and warnings, please see chapter 1.
AN: This has always been AU and continues as such. Thank you all for continuing to read and review. For reviewers: I do read and savor them all. If you�d like personalized replied, please feel free to email me at MontanaDan19@aol.com.

To Have Not
Chapter 3 � Trials

The moron that was the Minister of Magic ushered Harry from group to group within the vast ballroom. Not that Amelia Bones was anywhere near the halfwit that Fudge was, but she simply could not leave Harry alone.

Oh, and you�re here because you love to mingle and not because you�re stalking him?

She even went as far as to take his arm, which had caused Harry to flinch and recoil. Bones immediately apologized but it didn�t stop her from dragging him to the next group of dignitaries.

You mean buffoons.

Harry had entered several minutes before, lighting up the room with a simple smile and had been converged upon by the hierarchy of the Ministry. Everyone seemed aware that Harry didn�t want to be touched for no one offered a hand.
Severus continued to watch avidly from an unobtrusive yet strategic position. He even overheard several speculations as to �why� The-Man-Who-Defeated-The-Dark-Lord couldn�t be touched, but the generally accepted reason was that the Dark Lord had cursed Harry with some dreadful hex before he died.
And Harry didn�t do anything to correct the assumption. It would seem Harry had taken Severus� lessons to heart, giving them only what they needed to know, and letting them assume the rest, to his apparent benefit.
But why did Harry want them to think it? Why didn�t Harry wish to be touched?

Well perhaps because the last person who touched him, got close to him, broke his heart after rejecting him in a most hideous fashion.

Severus flinched at his own thoughts.
The only drop in the Harry Potter mask had been to reveal a look of pain. Occasionally, Harry�s hand would rise to his head, his palm pressing firmly against his forehead as if willing the pain away. Severus even noted a vial discreetly come out of Harry�s pocket once, to be returned quickly after taking a sip.
Harry�s act was flawless as he moved about the room. This particular crowd was comprised solely of officials. There would be other receptions soon enough, which would include vast numbers of well-wishers, all intent on thanking Harry Potter. Those, he expected, would be worse on Harry.

He might be able to endure them if he had you by his side.

Ignoring his nagging inner voice, Severus looked around. He was surprised that he hadn�t seen Lucius yet. He was sure Lucius wouldn�t miss an event such as this.
Lucius had been let off with very little punishment (a surmountable fine and prison time served) but the Malfoy name was damaged by the whole affair. Unless Lucius conjured up a miracle, the Malfoys would lose their otherwise high social standing and their political might.
The Death Eater trials, which had ended two days ago, had been obligatory. Most of them had been standard. Lucius� had been the most entertaining.
Loving the sound of his own voice, Lucius went on and on about how he was wronged; tricked by his family then his wife, the evil Dark Lord zealot that she was. He played on the sympathies of the women members by confessing his devotion to Narcissa inspired by their original marriage vows (while at the same time bashing her loyalty to the Dark Lord and admitting he never loved her), and the male members by taking responsibility for his actions as misguided as they were. All in all, to Severus anyway, Lucius had come out looking like a righteous man who had done one bad act. A martyr who had sinned.

Yes, it had been very tragic.

The reporters had eaten it up. And of course the Wizengamot had bought it. Especially after Harry made his simple yet effective testimony.
"He once wanted me dead, but in the end chose to save me, at great peril to himself. Has he paid for his past crimes? That is for the Wizengamot to decide. I can only say that Lucius Malfoy appeared to me like a repentant man, re-born with an eagerness to defeat his one time master. I would have died with Voldemort if not for his actions. For that I can never repay him."
The reporters ate that up as well.

Even if it had sounded rehearsed, and as if Granger had wrote it for him.

Harry had looked calm and collected through the entire ordeal, which lasted about two weeks, only letting his mask slip once. It had been an impressive sight too. Those within the courtroom would probably not forget it. Harry had only been called or elected to appear at four hearings: both Malfoy�s, Severus� and the elder Zabini�s. Few knew why Harry had chosen to go to the last and it was at that last trial that Harry�s temper had broken through his mask.
Although no one had seen or heard from Blaise after Harry�s attack, his father had been caught with the others. When questioned if anyone else in his family participated in any of the Dark Lord�s schemes or were in the Dark Lord�s employ, Zabini Senior had responded in the negative, to which, Harry had jumped to his feet and shouted, "THAT�S A BLOODY LIE."
The uproar those words had caused wasn�t as much as the impact that Harry couldn�t -wouldn�t - tell them how he knew that it was a lie.
But while Harry vacillated, struggling with his inner demons, the battle of his emotions and temper strained the very fabric of magic in the room. Everyone could feel the tension vibrating the air, the walls, the floor, and everyone waited with bated breath for Harry to calm down or for something to explode.
Severus had seen the struggle on Harry�s face as he fought with his conscience and his need for justice. But apparently, Harry still wanted to keep his secret and the vendetta personal because he covered his accusation smoothly with some story involving mistaken identity, which seemed pacify the crowd although most of the people present seemed disappointed. Severus scoffed inwardly at the poorly told lie, but he seemed to be the only one who noticed it.
The subject had been dropped and it took some time before the crowd quieted enough to continue. They had wanted a show, instead of the calm façade, which had returned. Harry�s resignation was most anticlimactic.
Severus� inner voice had cheered Harry for causing such a tumult, but Severus knew that the whole thing had distressed the young man. Even Dumbledore appeared concerned and Severus wondered if Albus had put the pieces together yet.
At Severus� obligatory hearing, it was primarily to get his role as a spy for Dumbledore and the Order on record for the Ministry, and Harry�s testimony made it appear a stellar record, indeed. At least Harry had shown up.

Briefly.

However briefly, he did come. He never met Severus� gaze though.

Never even looked in your direction, you mean.

And his testimony was honest and accurate.

And achingly heartfelt in its simplicity.

"Professor Snape was essential to the defeat of Voldemort. He personally taught me the things I would need to be able to kill him. The knowledge and experiences I got from Professor Snape were instrumental to Voldemort�s death and my survival. We are forever in his debt."
Draco�s was almost too short to be noteworthy. As he had been under Imperius as Harry, Lucius and Dumbledore, who had identified the curse on the book, testified to, there was little opposition to his acquittal. Draco also supported his father whole-heartedly and intended to do all he could to assist in righting their reputation with the community. Lucius was by his side, echoing his hopes to be able to make restitution to the wizarding world for their small parts in the war with further good deeds.

Yes, Lucius was in rare form with his rhetoric that day.

Severus also had a pretty good suspicion that Lucius was up to something and that it involved Harry. What his exact plans were, Severus wasn�t sure yet. Hence the reason why Severus had bothered to come to this idiotic Ministry function. To keep his eye on Harry and-
"Exquisite, isn�t he?" a soft voice purred in his ear. Severus didn�t have to turn to know it was the wizard he was currently debating over. "And he has no idea how truly captivating he is, does he?" Lucius continued to drawl.
"I doubt it," was all Severus would allow himself to say.
"He�s such an enigmatic combination of a man and a child," Lucius speculated.
Severus turned to look at him and found Lucius� concentrated gaze on Harry�s form across the room from them. "Hardly a child."
"No?" Lucius challenged, only then looking to Severus. "Think on it. On one hand, he�s been through so much; hunted, assaulted, tormented-"
"By the likes of you." Severus couldn�t help.
Lucius smirked. "And you as well," he waved off Severus� implication, "and he�s faced his challenges and his responsibilities head on, like a man. On the other hand, he�s emotionally needy, he craves affection, even if he denies it. He wants to be touched � loved."
Severus� anger mounted. How dare Lucius stand there and lecture him, him, about Harry.

Didn�t Severus save the boy�s arse time and again? Who was the one to teach him all he knew to help him survive? Who introduced him to passion? Who was the one who loved-

Yes, who was that?

Severus clamped his jaw closed.
"I think I will go over and save him," said Lucius conversationally.
"What?"
"Well it�s obvious that he�s in pain," Lucius said as if Severus were daft.

It isn�t that obvious.

True. Harry�s mask was excellent.
"Of course, those idiots don�t have the decency to realize that he is still suffering from those headaches." Lucius sighed dramatically and plucked a champagne glass off a passing tray. Sending Severus an imperious look, he moved off towards Harry.

Bloody bastard.

Severus watched with unrestrained horror as Lucius approached the group surrounding Harry and made himself a part of it. It took all of about five minutes before Lucius was escorting Harry away from the group towards the outer hall.
Severus watched them leave, the knife slowly turning in his gut. Of all the nerve.

Too bad you don�t have some of that nerve. Then you wouldn�t be here all by yourself.

But Severus was destined to be alone.

Too bad you�ve condemned Harry to the same fate.

Harry is young. And beautiful. He will never be alone.

You were young once and never found what you wanted � until Harry.

Harry is-

Harry wanted you.

Not anymore.

I did tell you not to send him away.

Now he hates me.

Yes. You certainly ensured that. Well done.

********
Harry�s headache was getting worse. Not only from the regular pain, but the stress. He could feel Severus� eyes on him. Unfortunately, seeing Severus had hit him hard. He did still look beautiful. Harry wanted to run to him and throw his arms around his scrawny neck and kiss him. God, Harry used to want to kiss him forever. Harry now wanted to pound on his chest and call him every nasty name Severus had ever taught him. He wanted to beg for Severus to take him home and put him to bed, laying a warm flannel over his brow and wrapping him in a warm blanket and a warmer embrace, like that night Severus had spent all night taking care of him.
The memory added a pain to his chest to his growing list of ailments for the night. Malfoy�s arrival to the scene had been a welcome distraction. It was almost heartwarming the way the older man had asked Harry if he was all right and then chastised those around him for not noticing that Harry was fatigued.

Relieved, Harry had allowed Malfoy to usher him out of the hall and into the cool night air. He took a stabilizing breath, letting the fresh air cool his heated skin and refresh his weary spirit.
"Better?" Malfoy asked, his gaze concerned as he looked down at Harry.
Harry nodded, wondering if the man got taller every time he saw him. "Thank you," said Harry.
"You�re welcome. Are you here alone?"
Harry glanced around self-consciously. He hadn�t really thought to bring a date. With a shrug, he said, "I wasn�t really sure what this was all about. I had hoped Mr. Weasley would be here."
Malfoy�s expression became sympathetic. "Arthur was here briefly but he got called away."
"Oh," said Harry, looking everywhere but at Malfoy�s face. The man was really too good looking and his eyes, well, they were just scary. Too intense, and perceptive. "I think I�ll head home," Harry said softly.
"Please," Malfoy�s voice stopped him. Harry noticed the hand reach out, but it stopped before it touched Harry�s arm. "Allow me to escort you."
"I�m really quite capable of taking care of myself," Harry said, finally looking up. Malfoy�s expression was blank, but a smile slowly formed.
"I am aware of that, Mr. Potter," he said. "But you are not feeling well and-"
"I�m fine," Harry insisted.
"And," he continued, "It would be a pleasure to have an excuse to leave that wretched gathering."
"Oh," said Harry with dawning. He couldn�t help his grin. "It was rather dull."
Malfoy nodded. "I�m sure there will much more pleasant ones in the near future," he said. "No need to be discouraged by one mediocre affair."
Harry blinked. Did he hear a double meaning in that statement?
Malfoy gestured with his arm. "Come. Humor me."
Harry sighed and fell into step beside Lucius Malfoy as they moved toward the Apparition point.
"Perhaps you�d like to join me for coffee�"
*********
Harry was still slightly disconcerted by the time he got back to the flat he had let in London for this very purpose. Sirius and Remus had made plans to go into the city back in New York with some friends when Harry had agreed to go to that Ministry party. He could have easily Apparated back to the beach house but he was just too tired.
Sirius had been worried about him traveling the distance so Harry had assured him that he would stay at his flat, giving the other couple privacy. Sirius didn�t put up that much of a fight about it.
Alone again, Harry dropped his dress robes over a chair and fell onto the bed. His head was pounding. His chest still felt tight. He absently rubbed the scar on his wrist.
He should have accepted Malfoy�s offer to go and have coffee. If the man didn�t intimidate him so much, he wouldn�t have hesitated. Harry wasn�t even sure what it was about Malfoy that got to him. Maybe it was his aura. Maybe it was his attractiveness.

Maybe it was because Harry was pretty certain Malfoy had been flirting with him.

He is flirting, because he wants something.

Harry sighed. Maybe it was all just his hormones.
Harry snorted at the thought. His hormones were just going to have to suffer because he was not getting involved with anyone, not now, not ever. Not even Lucius Malfoy.
~~~~~~~

The cold hit Harry�s heated skin and he shivered. "Why do I always have to be the one who leaves in the middle of the night?" he grumbled, pulling on his trousers.
"Because it is not on my list of things to do, Mr. Potter."
Harry spun around, glaring.
Severus closed his eyes and smirked. "You are not presently naked in my bed."
Harry growled with irritation and summoned a pillow. Throwing it at Severus, he said, "You git."
Severus pulled the pillow against his body and snuggled comfortably into it. "Obviously."
"And you managed to change the subject again."
"You are most uncharacteristically observant tonight. But the reason is that I simply refuse to �sneak� especially out of the Gryffindor dorms in the middle of the night to avoid being observed by a Weasley."
Harry�s eyes moved over Severus relaxed form, tousled from their night. A smiled tugged at his lips. "You�re right. Ron would be jealous of what I have."
Severus� reflexes were pretty quick for a man his age. Although he would probably hex Harry if he said it out loud. Tugging Harry down onto the bed, Severus covered Harry�s body with his own and claimed his mouth in a searing kiss.
Severus� heat warmed him, chasing away it�s earlier chill, and the kiss became impassioned. Tongues entwined, lovingly stroking against each other.
Harry sighed as Severus lifted his head. "What was that for?" he asked breathlessly.
"For being a sickeningly sweet Gryffindor."
Pleased, Harry grinned. "Oh? You like it?"
Severus considered him a moment. "Will you continue to utter those tooth decaying comments?"
"Will it get me more kisses like that?"
The soft smile that grew on Severus face was so beautiful it made Harry�s chest hurt. Like it had pierced his soul. Harry wanted to be the cause of that smile again and again until the beauty of it killed him.
By way of an answer, Severus lowered his head again and claimed Harry�s lips, caressing them with tongue and teeth until Harry�s limbs were boneless masses of flesh.
Harry sucked in a deep breath. "Well, now you�ve done it," he whispered.
That annoying black brow rose. "What?"
"I�m broken. I can�t move. I�ll have to stay here the rest of the night now."
Severus snorted. "Don�t be melodramatic, Mr." Harry raised his own eyebrow in challenge, but Severus went on, "Potter - who is almost fully clothed in my bed."
"It�s not bloody fair that you can think properly after a kiss like that."
That got a smirk from his older lover. "Oh believe me, Mr. Potter, I am thinking most improperly right now."
God, he could still make Harry blush. Harry raised his brows. "So I can stay?"
Severus fell back onto the bed with a heavy sigh. "Insatiable brat."
Harry instantly rolled with him to stay touching. His mouth started on a shoulder and worked its way around to the narrow column of Severus� throat. "I hate being cold," Harry said by way of explanation. "It makes me feel alone."
Severus� hands came up to Harry�s head, gently pushing him up. Harry peered down, his eyes falling closed as Severus� fingers trailed over his face. It was a delicate touch that tingled down his cheek and over his lips.
"Oh, I�ll make you shiver, Mr. Potter," Severus said, his honeyed voice dropping to the tone that could indeed make him shiver. "But I will also keep you warm."
~~~~~~~~
Harry woke up, shivering from more than the cold. He quickly waved a hand at the fireplace. Flames jumped to life as Harry quickly dove under the covers, clutching the blankets around him. Chest tight and head pounding, he curled into himself.
A tear pooled in his eyes. Harry swiped it away.
*************
Severus grumbled to himself as he shuffled through his summer owl orders. Requests for his potions had quadrupled since the end of the war. Now that Severus Snape, Potions Master was also Severus Snape, war hero, his credibility had skyrocketed.

You could be a little happier about it.

It had been something he had always coveted, to be held in high esteem for his abilities. To have his colleagues respect and admire him. Inexplicably, it just didn�t seem as important anymore.
The current requests were the usual, although increased in number. He could make larger batches to fill more at once and save ingredients and time. This lot would make him a great deal of money as well. The Wolfsbane alone was worth a fortune.

It would be more satisfying if Harry were here to help.

Severus allowed himself to smile. Yes, the few times he and Harry had worked together on potions had been most agreeable, when they could keep their minds on the potion and their hands and lips to themselves.

Harry did love the honeysuckle blossoms.

How many times had Severus had to scold Harry for eating his ingredients?

He only did it to tease you.

Of course Severus had known that. The image of Harry�s lips pursed and sucking on the tiny yellow bloom made him shudder.
He picked up the next order, shoving the thoughts aside. The address caught his attention. Walter Nelson, Water�s Edge Potions and Salves, East Hampton, New York. There were two requests. One was simply Wolfsbane, but the other was a detailed prescription. He scanned the description itself. It was a very strong potion with an elaborate brewing process. It was a pain potion. One of his own actually, although not one he was known for making. But who would know, be able to list the exact specifications?

Harry.

Severus frowned. This must be the potion Lupin had given the shop owner in New York. Was Harry still taking this particular formula? Harry knew better than to take this potion for an extended period of time. By Merlin, his pain was as great as it had looked.

And what? You thought it was a hangnail?

*****************
Harry wasn�t sure why he�d agreed to meet with Lucius Malfoy again. Maybe it was boredom. Maybe it was curiosity. Maybe it was Malfoy�s persistence.
Maybe it was his bloody hormones again.
Harry swore he was developing an inner voice. Hadn�t Severus claimed he had developed one and that it was rather annoying? Harry assumed that all inner voices were annoying. He wondered why his own sounded so much like Severus.
So here he was, back in the Ministry Library conference room, waiting for Lucius Malfoy to arrive. Harry had to admit he was nervous. Not that he thought Malfoy was going to hurt him or anything, but he knew Malfoy wanted something. Maybe he�d finally get around to voicing it.
"Good afternoon, Mr. Potter."
Harry turned around from his wandering to face the man entering the room. As always, Malfoy filled the room with his presence. Harry inclined his head in greeting.
"Thank you for meeting with me."
Harry waved it off. "I�m assuming you�ll finally get around to tell me why you�ve been so interested in me lately."
Malfoy blinked. "Has it been that obvious?"
Harry sighed and lowered himself into a chair. "Let�s just say I�m quite used to dealing with Slytherins by now."
Malfoy smirked. Harry wondered if the facial expression was, in itself, a Slytherin trait. "You may be surprised to discover all that my�interest�is comprised of, Harry," he admitted.
Harry blinked. Was that a fancy way of saying that he wants a lot from me?

"Alright," said Harry, sitting up. "I�m listening."
"I have a proposition for you." Malfoy poured them both drinks and took a seat opposite Harry at the small table.
"I gathered as much."
Malfoy took a sip of his drink and a fortifying breath, which looked somewhat unnatural on him. "I can offer you a quiet respite away from prying eyes and protection from the media � my contacts are varied and can be called upon - as well as protection from anyone seeking to use you for their own questionable reasons."
"Such as?" Harry asked, intrigued.
"You will become, if you haven�t already, a target for unsavory people to use for their own selfish purposes."
"Such as yourself." Harry couldn�t help the quip.
Malfoy smiled knowingly. "Precisely like myself," he agreed. "Except I am in a position to offer you a great deal of compensation. You�ll never have to work a day in your life � unless you desire to. I will handle your finances, you will have a vast estate at your disposal, to fly, ride, plant, write, learn � I can have tutors brought in to teach you anything you wish to learn. I can teach you a great deal myself. You will have a home."
Well, that was all very well and good, but Harry was no fool. "Mr. Malfoy, what do you want from me?"
Malfoy met his gaze over the rim of his glass. "Your alliance and allegiance."
Confused, Harry blinked. "You already have that."
"Your total allegiance would re-instate my position in the wizarding world. With Harry Potter beside me, supporting me, I could regain what I lost with my poor judgement and bad choices."
"You know I would do all I could to-"
"That isn�t enough, Mr. Potter."
"Then what?"
Malfoy leaned back in his chair, gazing directly at Harry with those penetrative eyes of his.
"I want you to marry me."
- 2
- 3
- 4
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

To Have Not