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Simple Motions	By : indira Category: Harry Potter > General > General Views: 1795 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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Title: Simple Motions
Author: Indira Neill
Pairings: OliverxPercy, suggested Harry+Ron
Comment: And onward to part three before I loose my will to write again. I just keep getting these bursts of creative energy and somehow it's all getting channeled into this. I should go paint or something, but no, yaoi wins out somehow. And please keep reviewing, it makes me happy.

--

Simple motions in the dark.

A complex ecstasy.

--

It's been three days since that night. You haven't so much as looked at me in those days. Well, of course you look at me, we have all our classes together, but what I mean is you haven't looked at me. You haven't seen me. It's for the best I know, so no one will know. You've held it back much better then I seem to be and I'm the one who should be more in control of my emotions.

Snape finally dismisses us and we nearly fall up the stairs trying to get away. Normally we would walk side by side but you walk a little ahead of me. Leading, commanding. I am more then content to follow for once. You lead me straight up the tower, straight to our room. The door is closed behind us and the room seems somewhat colder then when we left. You haven't touched me in three days either.

"Percy, I think we should talk."

You casually take off your shoes and undo your tie knot while reclining in your desk chair. I remain standing though some part of me gives a silent warning to sit down. I nod for you to continue.

"I get this feeling that you're talking...at me, I don't quite know how to explain it but you always have. You've never really talked with me, it's always at me. And I'm not speaking about aloud."

The blood rushes to my face quickly. Of course I'm always talking at you, I can't expect you to answer questions always in my head. I can't talk with you up here. When I speak aloud the emotion is ripped from my voice, you wouldn't understand.

"See, right now, I don't know what's going on in that little head of yours Percy Weasley."

"When I talk aloud you can't tell what I feel."

It seems so odd. When the words pass out of me without the delicate embellishments that only the mind can supply. The riddles I talk to myself in are nothing but whispers to remain only when I talk to myself. I've spent a lifetime living in my own mind, I don't know how to let you in.

"But I'm not a mind reader either. So am I never supposed to understand you?"

My mind wants to explain everything to you, a constant conflict. Even if I were to explain, could you understand? Are you meant to understand? But certainly three days ago you understood my actions. Let our actions speak for us both. Words are useless beyond the confines of our minds. Reality distorts our words.

Everything and more is in our kiss.

"If you understand that much, it's enough."

Why is it I care for you? It would be pretentious to call it love at this stage but why do I want to be with you? Of course you're hansom and talented, everyone sees that. You're ambitious but not in that Slytherin way. I'm trying to rationalize something that isn't meant to be rational I think. I care for you because you're you. How can I put something in words that I can't even describe in my head. Only now do I realize that we're two fools with no where to go. I should tell Penny, she's going to be so happy for me. She'll think I should drop the act although I really can't yet, and I hate to say it but I think she likes the act in itself.

She's always wanted me to hold her like a boyfriend. And I do sometimes, to keep up the act. And she knows it's an act as much as I do but she doesn't have anyone else really. What I've done to her is unfair. She should have been able to really find someone to love her. Oh of course I love her, but not that desperate kind of love. I love her for her mind, her soul. But I can't love her body, it's so selfish of me. What's even more selfish is my promise to her. A promise that is now void but it was selfish none the less.

We lay now side by side on your bed, simply holding hands. We are two fools with nothing but motions.

Why do I care for you?

--

At dinner we're sitting as we have for the last few years. You are to my left, Harry to my right, Ron across from me and one twin on either side of him, Ginny to the right of whatever twin that is closest to the head table, Hermione to the right of Harry. Placement. I wonder what it would be like if we were to rearrange ourselves. Order. Why do we keep the seats we have always had? Curious. In my mind I am really sitting between you and Ginny, Harry sits between Ron and Hermione and the twins sit together. That's really how we break down, isn't it? We have our little clusters but at dinner we are always dispersed. There are walls of consistency built between us. I associate Ginny with us because she has no where else to go. I know she looks up to me, I want to protect her.

Ron looks to the side of me, right at Harry.

Consitancy will be the death of us.

--

I kick off my shoes in a rather imperfect way. You've already headed down for Quidditch practice with the twins and Harry and the girls. Ron probably followed along to watch. He has such a strategic mind, I think he's after your job. What I am most amazed by is the purity he has. When Harry made the team long before him, the youngest player in a century, he was so genuinely happy for him. No malice.

I leave my robe behind and change into more comfortable shoes, undo my tie. I want to watch you practice. Simple motions. Is there anything more to life? Running, ha, I should scold myself, but the layers are falling away. Out of the common room and down the hall, outside. Grass and air, childhood in the countryside. I run and run to where you are already practicing, the girls taking their best shots at you. The way your body moves, like oil across a surface.

It all seems so melodramatic inside my head. Of course it does. Love is melodramatic in itself. A fire soon to be extinguished, it never burns long. Simply higher and higher until it reaches it's climax and turns to ashes. Ashes to be carried across the grass in the wind. Ashes from a warm fireplace surrounded by a content family. It sears into you and leaves you broken and tired, a fickle thing. It is right to swear love by the ever-changing moon. Love changes its face like you change your direction. It sneaks past you just out of reach. It'll leave you burned and smoldering. Building building to the climax.

I stand in perfect silence watching you. If only you could hear inside my head. You wouldn't laugh because then you would understand. Teenaged love, what a joke, love is always the same. Never unconditional, what are your conditions, captain? Have I lived up to them so far? I am drowning without you.

Such a rush. You are the one dancing alone in the air, my feet planted firmly in the ground, but my head is the one dying from lack of oxygen. Everything is coming so fast. I am dying without you. Simple motions. Breathing is such a simple motion that I can no longer do without you. I'll never do it without you until you leave me then I will breathe for someone else. Do you understand? You continue along your path and I'll continue along mine. They run parallel for now, but I know they will again diverge, perhaps never to be one again. I am trapped in the innocence of childhood. This is the revelation for this path. This is the revelation we are to share. Can you hear me screaming? I scream aloud.

You turn, distracted and the tears run down my face. I don't know why I'm crying, only that I am. Within a moment you are by my side, the others watching us, you throw your arms around me in the sort of comforting way a friend would. I can't ask for anything more. Not here.

"Come on, lets go back to the tower."

I nod, and beyond you I can see Ron, just standing there, looking, knowing.

But I leave you, I cannot be a scar on your record.

"You stay here, I'm fine now."

And as much as it sounds like a lie it is the truth. I'll be alright now. I'll be alright now because I understand, of course I am in love with you, I don't know how long it will last but I know now. I just need the time. You need the time. Our separate paths will converge tonight. For the next few hours we walk alone.

I can walk alone because we breathe together.

A simple shared motion.
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Simple Motions