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Life as I know it	By : BlindedHP Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Snape Views: 75983 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 6
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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Title: Life as I know it
Summary: AU! Harry is not the boy everyone expected he'd be when he first entered Hogwarts. This fic is Snarry slash with Snape as Harry's Dominant
Disclaimer: I don't own anything Harry Potter related. This magical world belongs to JK Rowling and various publishers. No profit is being made from this.
Warnings for the fic: BDSM, dom/sub, Bad Language, non-con, dub-con, sexual situations, master/slave, violence and more
Chapter Warning: Crude words used in this chapter to explain 'sex'. Some OOC-ness but I just don't know how else to write Severus in this chapter.
IMPORTANT AN: I am not, nor have I ever been Lifestyle. I get my resources from the web and other stories I have read.
Chapter 3: To be a submissive
Harry kept as close to the wall as possible. The rest of the students had left a few days ago and Harry had been in his master's quarters ever since. An hour ago his master had ordered him to "Get out and keep yourself busy! There are plenty to do in such a huge castle, I am sure you will be able to find something to occupy your time with."
Now Harry was creeping through the corridors sticking as close to the nearest tangible thing, which was a wall, as possible.
Being ordered to keep himself busy was still very new to Harry and the hurt he felt every time his Master ordered him away was finally beginning to lessen a bit. He knew he would be able to go back, that was all that mattered.
Harry had heard about the library from various students but had never been there himself. Finding himself in a room filled with books from top to bottom had not really been what he had expected. Okay, he hadn't really expected anything as he hadn't known what a library looked like.
A woman with a severe expression on her face watched him with keen eyes as he wandered around the room.
The books his master had ordered him to read had long since developed into the second and recently third row of books.
He found himself fascinated with everything magic related and as he wandered around the room, he knew he could come to love the place.
A book in the section for younger years caught his attention and he was soon engrossed in the explanations and opinions on pain relieve potions and salves.
To think that one bottle of potion could rid someone of almost any pain imaginable was almost too much for him to take in.
The book also referenced some other volumes of the higher years' books but Harry steered clear of them. His master had expressly forbidden him to read anything higher than fourth year without his presence to explain certain things. What things that was, Harry did not know, but he thought it might have something to do with "Unforgivable Curses" which he had overheard some sixth years talking about.
The name itself implied that it was not for younger eyes and ears.
So engrossed in his readings was he that it wasn't until a shadow loomed over him that he looked up, and gulped.
It had been a long time since his Master had looked at him with quite such a harsh expression on his face and it was only when Harry's eyes scanned the windows that he realized his mistake.
His master had ordered him to be back before dinner and judging by the non-existent light outside, he was quite a bit late.
"Did I, or did I not, order you to be back before dinner?" The voice was cold and it seemed to slice right through Harry.
"Yes Master" he whispered.
"Then why, pray tell, did you not arrive as such?" His Master took a step forward and Harry, for the first time in months, feared the raising of a fist.
"I'm sorry Master. I lost track of time." He knew it would make no difference to the punishment he would receive but it settled his peace of mind.
"Come with me and you had better not repeat this mistake again, am I making myself clear?"
"Yes Master"
Harry followed as silently and as quickly as possible. He had tried his utmost best during the last year to do everything his Master asked of him. A thought had once flashed through his mind, that he had always obeyed Master Vernon with the same zeal, but he refused to acknowledge the truth of the thought. The fact that Vernon had punished him on a daily basis whereas Master Severus had not once lifted a hand to him was puzzling as well as filling Harry with what could only be dread.
For that could mean only one of two things. Either he was in for the punishment of his life now that the holidays had come and that Master Severus had not wanted to punish him while others were nearby - he actually preferred that option to the second one as the second one held too many consequences to think about.
His second conclusion was that Master Vernon had been wrong about another thing. He had been wrong in that he had always said there was no such thing as magic, as Harry could personally attest to that being false. The thought that Master Vernon had been wrong in punishing Harry as much as he had, had only briefly flashed through Harry's mind and he had refused to think on it ever since. It would mean that his whole life had been a lie and that thought filled him with dread.
Harry came back to his senses just before he could bump into his Master.
Master Severus scowled down at him and Harry fought the urge to cringe back.
"Go to your room and lie down on the bed, I'll be there in a minute."
The fact that his Master hadn't even looked at him while giving the order caused a sharp pain to flare in his chest.
He had at first feared any and every small noise he had heard when he came to live with Master Severus. Over the months he had become, however reluctant he was to admit it, lax in his behavior and with regard to his surroundings.
The fact that Master Severus had now sent him to bed, which he had never done before in that context, brought back memories from his previous Master.
Harry sat down on the bed and fought the urge to squirm or even rush out again. His shoes were quickly off and he settled down on the bed.
Master Severus entered a few moments later and at first he just looked at Harry. There was a curiously blank expression on his face and Harry did not know what to make of it.
"Relax for the moment Potter, I am not going to do anything to you until we have talked. You will still receive your punishment but first I want to explain something to you."
Harry was horrified to realize how much those few words relaxed him but he realized that he actually believed his Master. When Vernon had told him something, the opposite would happen. With Master Severus, Harry had come to realize that the man was generally as honest as possible.
"You will listen without interrupting. When I am finished you may ask any questions you wish, is that clear?"
"Yes Master."
"Good. You may not believe what I am going to tell you and you may not even understand everything but it is necessary that we have this talk."
"You may have realized in this last year that the other students do not have Masters, correct? Yes, now, when you stayed with your previous Master, you were punished for the smallest infraction or even just when your Master had seen it fit to do so.
You had only received the bare minimum of food necessary in order to survive and any refreshments were sparsely given.
I have tried over the year to get you as close to healthy as possible. You have come to sleep in your bed without prompt and to ask questions when needed."
Harry listened intently to his Master. He had not really realized how much he had changed over the year. Everything had happened so gradually that it had all just happened.
"I'm telling you now Potter, Harry, what you have been taught since a young age is NOT in any way shape or form acceptable tutoring. It is nothing that you did wrong. You were in the care of an adult who took advantage of you. He had most probably taught you that what he said and did was right, and that anything you did was wrong."
The thought which had plagued Harry the past few hours was once again in the forefront of his mind.
Vernon had been wrong.
Harry bit down hard on his lip to fight any other emotions which wanted to bubble up.
"I don't know if you even know what had been done to you. When someone, your uncle or anyone else, forced you down on a bed or on your knees or any other way, and put anything in your anus, the hole which you use to 'dispense' of your bodily needs; be it a penis, or any other 'toy' they had used, is called sexual situations."
"Most students, when they first come to Hogwarts, have only ever heard of sex. Some have never even heard of it. The older years, when their own bodies begin to develop will experiment and find out what they can about it."
"What I'm trying to tell you Po.., Harry, is that a student as young as you should not have ever been exposed to what you have been. The first time someone has sex of any kind is a sacred union and should be respected at all times.
When someone does this without the permission of the other person, by force or by inhibiting the other person from expressing their desires in any way – like the Imperius curse, which you will learn in your fifth or sixth year – it is called non-consensual or some refer to it as rape."
Harry did not know when the tears had started to fall but as he listened to his Master he felt the warmness drip on his hands.
Two thumbs gently rubbed the tears away and Harry looked up again.
"Do you understand what I am telling you Harry? Do you understand that what your uncle had done to you was wrong? Wrong in so many ways, but it was NOT under any circumstances your fault."
"Yes Master." Harry sniffed as thoughts raged thought his head.
He had known, since the first moment he had to call Vernon Master, that his situation was not ideal but the sheer number of things which had been wrong had escaped his notice.
It was too much to take in and some of Master Vernon's words were already fighting with the words of Master Severus.
"To ask you now to live the life of a normal, happy eleven – almost twelve – year old would be both unfair and detrimental to you."
"Can I still stay here, with you?" Harry asked softly, dreading the answer he feared was coming.
"Yes Harry, that is what I am trying to tell you. You have come a long way since you've first come to Hogwarts and I have to say that I am very proud of you, but it is still too soon to send you on your own way."
"I will give you a book to read on a specific type of relationship. When you have finished with it we can decide whether or not you wish to enter that type of relationship or not. You will be free to make your own decision and I do not wish to influence your answer in any way. When you have finished reading the book you will either write down 'yes' or 'no' on a piece of paper and present it to me. Should you say 'yes' you are in no way obligated to stick with your decision. If you feel that it is too much, you need only tell me and we will stop. I will draft a contract which stipulates certain rules, for both you and myself, which will be adhered to at all times. Should you say 'no', we will find a way to help you deal with your past but in no way will you loose my support. No matter your decision."
Master Severus had been right, he didn't understand half of what was said but he was certain that after reading the book his Master had mentioned he would understand better.
"Yes Master. I will read the book."
"Good. Now, you will receive your punishment but I have to ask you something; think carefully before you answer, about everything I have said now. Do you trust me Harry? Even if just a small portion, do you trust me?"
Harry wasn't certain anymore what trust meant but he knew that Master Severus always tried to be honest with him and as he had found out, that was more than he had ever been given.
"Yes Master."
"Lie back on the bed and close your eyes. I am going to blindfold you. That will be your punishment. You will be vulnerable as you will have no way of knowing where I am or where you yourself are. We will stay here in our quarters but you are free to move if you wish to. What I am trying to teach you here Harry is that you should be able to trust your Master. You should be able to trust his word. I am not going to do anything else to you Harry. You will not know where I am but if you trust that I won't do anything to you then you won't fear it. You will not fear the raising of a fist or a whip, because I told you that nothing else will happen."
The voice was soft and soothing to Harry's frayed nerves. The thought of not being able to see anything, too see where his Master was or what he was doing was really terrifying but Harry had to trust in his Master's words. Nothing would happen to him, he was safe.

Severus left the room after the blindfold was secure and made his way over to the kitchen in order to make some dinner.
An hour later Severus returned to Harry's bedroom and found him exactly where he had left him, curled up in the middle of the bed. Judging from the soft rise and fall of his chest he had fallen asleep.
Severus set the tray he was holding down on the bedside table and sat gently on the bed.
"Harry. Harry! It is time to wake up."
Harry stirred a bit and turned in Severus's direction. Severus could see panic spreading across the boy's features and quickly tried to reassure him.
"It is okay Harry. Do you remember where you are? Do you remember I put a blindfold on you as punishment for not arriving at the time I had specified?"
Harry relaxed some but Severus could still see tension in the boy's arms.
"Close your eyes again Harry, I am going to remove the blindfold now."
Severus leaned closer and as quickly but gently as possible he removed the blindfold.
Harry blinked a bit in order to adjust to the light and then turned to face Severus.
"Thank you Master."
"You are welcome. Now, I have made you some dinner; do not look so horrified, you were blindfolded and asleep besides. You will eat everything on the plate and then you will go to sleep. You can read the book tomorrow and then we can talk some more. Clear?"
"Yes Master, thank you Master."
"Eat up and good night."

The book had been very interesting. It had explained what a sub is and what a Dom is. The relationship between a sub and a Dom and how it all worked.
Harry's mind had quickly snatched on to one part. "Safe word". From what he understood, it is actually the submissive whom set the limits of the relationship. It also explained that even though "no" does not really mean "no" in every aspect of such a relationship that the "safe word" should and would at all times be obeyed as "Stop!"
He quickly realized that even though Vernon had ordered him to call him Master, it did not in any way shape or form make their relationship a consensual Dom/sub relationship. Harry didn't know what to call his relationship with his ex-master as nothing in the book was even close to what they had had.
The thought of Master Severus being his Dominant, taking control of his life and looking out for him raised conflicting feelings in him.
He knew, even though it had been 'forced' on him – as he had come to realize – that he still loved doing things for his Master. He didn't know how to take control of his own life and the thought of having to do that sent shivers down his spine. He would be lost, completely.
What Master Severus proposed was basically going on as they had for the past year but now, Harry could set his limitations. He would have a "Safe-word" which would be heard and listened to!
It was about a week after his first real punishment with Master Severus and Harry had a fair idea of what his answer would be to the question of their relationship.
He needed this; he could admit that to himself.
He needed to know that there was someone who would care for him, look out for his well being and not treat him the way Vernon had treated him.
The experience with the blindfold had terrified him, really and truly terrified him but when Master Severus had woken him and explained what was going on; when Harry had realized that even though he had been in a vulnerable position, nothing had happened, just as Master Severus had said. He had been relieved and finally understood that Master Severus truly meant for the blindfold to be the only punishment.
His musings were interrupted by the opening of his door. His door had not once been closed completely since he had received the book and Harry thought that maybe it was to let him know that no matter what, he was not trapped there, that he could still leave should he wish to. The knowledge of that filled him with a warm feeling. He could almost imagine that he was cared for.
"Move up." Master Severus had once again retreated into his normal – or at least his better known – persona and as such his voice was now once again cold, but not harsh.
"Have you finished with the book?"
"Yes Master."
"Do you have any questions?"
"Every aspect of the relationship would be as in this book?" Harry had to make sure.
"Not every aspect. I will not, under any circumstances touch you in a sexual way. When you have reached the age of consent, and we both wish to continue with this relationship, then we may consider it.
What I will be doing is training you to be a submissive. As you have read, submission is the act of or interest in submitting to someone else's will, within limits, for sexual purposes.
There are both "hard" limits-things that people absolutely will not do, and will not even consider, as well as "soft" limits-things that someone won't do under ordinary circumstances, but will allow to be "forced" on him or her in the context of a particular scenario that is being acted out.
Those limits will be determined on a non-sexual basis, no exceptions.
Other aspects of the relationship will also be readjusted to suite our situation, especially aspects pertaining to sex."
Harry didn't even try to suppress his relief, he had gotten used to the 'sex' part with Master Vernon but after a year of no such punishments; he couldn't help but be relieved that it would stay that way.
"Yes Master, I would like you to train me to be your submissive, to care for me and look after my needs."
"I will draft a contract which you will sign. Until that time, you are free to change your mind at any time. You will be able to set your limits and your "safe word", we will have the contract witnessed and should either of us feel that a change in the contract is needed we will agree to the new terms and adjust the contract accordingly. If either of us feels that we do not wish to continue with the relationship we will agree to either terminate it completely or to put a "forced break" in our relationship. Everything needs to be consensual and so it would be. I will tell you, I have already made known and registered myself as the Dominant in a relationship with the ministry. The only thing they require is the knowledge of the existence of such a relationship and the Dominant partner. I did that in order to be able to protect you should anyone else find out how you have been treated at home. The agreement, contract, between you and me will only be witnessed by those we agree to and no-one else needs to know about it."
"I understand, thank you Master."
"Good, now let us get us some breakfast and then you can read some more while I draft the contract."

Harry could not remember the last time he had been as content as he was at that moment. He was beginning to understand that Vernon had taken advantage of his "child's mind" and molded him in such a way that he had not realized exactly how unfair and downright despicable he had been treated.
Now, with Master Severus everything was changing, changing for the better and Harry could not help but feel hopeful of his current situation.
He had signed the contract with his Master and had it witnessed by the Headmaster and the school nurse last week.
His master had explained that by explaining their relationship to the school nurse, she would not think anything of it should Severus ever ask medical records of Harry's stay in the hospital wing of the castle.
Harry had been surprised by the nurse's reaction to the contract. She had at first demanded that Severus get his head examined if he thought that she would ever sign the life of such a young child away!
When his Master had taken her aside and had some quick words with her she had returned with tears running down her cheek and said that she understood completely and that she hoped Severus would be good for Harry. "Better than that worthless piece of filth you had lived with your whole life!" She had stormed off to her office after that.
The headmaster and his Master talked for a while after that and though Harry did not try to listen in on their conversation he had heard some of it all the same.
".. concentrate on Harry at the moment. Deal with them at a later time. … blubbering fool will get what's coming to him … wait until Harry's more settled in the relationship and trusts me more."
He thought that maybe they had been talking about master Vernon but he could not be sure. He had heard his master call Vernon a blubbering fool a few times before and many other names which made him blush.
"… many other little oddities to help him overcome …first few weeks … worse … mostly over it now."
"What did he do in the first few weeks? If there is something we need to help him with you need to tell me Severus."
"Nothing that concerns you headmaster." They had walked over to him now and the headmaster was looking down at Harry with a concerned expression.
"Severus tells me that there were a few things that you did at the beginning of the year which you had to 'overcome' as he called it. I hope it is nothing too bad."
Harry had learned over the year that the headmaster always stated his questions more as statements but that he desired an answer nonetheless.
"Er, I am not sure what my Master meant headmaster. There was the whole bed issue and the eating right thing. Oh, and of course when I had wanted to help my Master clean himself and he shouted at me, but that is okay now, I understand that I am not allowed in the bathroom while he is in there."
Harry did not really know what he had done or said but his Master turned slightly pink on the cheekbones and the headmaster was fighting his own loosing battle to not let his face turn pink.
"Come Potter, enough said. Good day to you headmaster."
Harry frowned as he followed his Master.
What had he said? And were they back to his surname now again? He rather liked it when his Master called him Harry, Master Vernon had never done so.

Severus and Harry made their way through Diagon Alley. Harry had relinquished all his money to his Master but the contract stated that should they ever terminate the contract, everything left in Harry's vault would go back to him. Severus was also not to transfer the money to his own account but he was the holder of the key to the vault.
They made their way to Gringotts and Severus withdrew a fairly large amount from his own vault but refused to touch Harry's.
"If you see something you like Harry, tell me and we can get it."
"Yes M..sir" Harry caught his slip before it could be incriminating. He had been ordered to refer to his Master as "sir" whenever he was talking to anyone else and to call him "sir" if they were not in their chambers at the beginning of his first year but had fallen back into the routine of calling him "Master" during the holidays. It took a conscious effort to remember when he should call his Master what.
They went to get his books first and Harry was happy to select some extra books at his Master's prompting. Harry had grown quite a bit during the last year, he had a feeling that it was the potions he had been taking which influenced his growth but he was still short for his age. At least he did not look like an eight year old anymore his Master once said. Harry never really realized himself how small he was and still, it didn't bother him. It had helped him escape his cousin when he had been in "Harry hunting" mode and he still felt better to know that it would be easier to escape bullies if he was small and could slip through gaps or under them.
"And if isn't the little tattle-tale scar-head."
Harry took a moment to realize that someone was talking to him and turned around to come face to face with Draco Malfoy.
They had not really interacted last year as Harry had mostly kept to himself but he had made sure to know everyone in his class's name.
"Mr Malfoy." Respect for everyone who took the time to talk to him had been taught/beaten into him since a young age and as such it came naturally to him to call someone by their 'title'.
Draco looked surprised for a moment before looking behind him. Not finding what he was looking for, he turned back to Harry and frowned at him.
"You'd better watch your back this year tattle-tale."
Harry wondered why his Master had yet to say anything and as he turned around he was horrified to realize that his Master was no where to be found.
Harry had been in a back section of the bookstore and had not realized that he had lost sight of his master.
The feeling of vulnerability he had felt when his Master had placed the blindfold on was back. It had been years since he had been alone somewhere in such a public place. The school had not been too bad as he had always known where to find his Master, now though, he was lost.
He felt a presence behind him but before he could panic even more the soft, cold voice of his Master registered in his mind.
"Is there a problem here gentlemen? No, then I suggest you carry on, there are other patrons who also wish to browse this section."
Malfoy took the hint and Harry was left to sag in relief that his Master was back.
"I apologize for not informing you of where I would be but do not panic should it happen again, I will always come back for you."
"Yes sir, thank you sir."
End Chapter 3
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Life as I know it