They Left Him to Live

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Part Three

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Harry's body seemed to come alive every time he heard a noise. He had never realised how many different sounds were in the dungeons. There was the incessant dripping of water that was coming from somewhere, the constant chatter of words he couldn’t quite make out, and the distant sounds of footfalls that echoed in the corridors. All of them seemed to be just around the corner, and he listened with baited breath, wondering if any of them they were heading in his direction.

Harry shifted again on the floor, this time to his knees, so his arse could warm up. The cold stones under him were just as uncomfortable as they had looked. But Harry didn’t care. In fact, he didn’t even care that he had been waiting three hours in the drafty, empty corridor outside Professor Snape's office. It was worth it. Snape was going to listen to him no matter what.

Suddenly, Harry heard footsteps coming down the hall, and he immediately jumped up. His heartbeat’s rhythm increased, and his palms began to sweat. He had been waiting for this moment for weeks, and had rehearsed every response to any argument Snape could come up with, but for some reason, now that the moment was finally here, Harry’s mind had gone completely blank.

Snape rounded the corner and instantly sneered when his eyes met Harry’s. He brushed past him, making sure his shoulder connected with Harry's. The Potions master waved his wand, and Harry could hear the locks on the heavy door disengage. As Snape entered into his office, Harry quickly ran up behind him so that he wouldn’t have a door slammed in his face. Remarkably, Snape didn’t even bother to shut the door; he obviously anticipated Harry's persistence to see him.

“If you are here to obtain a Life Debt from me, Potter, you're wasting your time, as well as mine,” he drawled as he reached his large desk and sat down. “The memories they obtained from me were enough to acquit me.”

Harry stood stoically in front of his ex-Potions master, and reminded himself not to get angry. He wasn’t going to let Snape bully him nor try and talk him out of this.

“You know why I’m here, professor. I’ve sent you several owls, but you never replied back.”

Snape looked up at him in disgust. “One would think that you would have taken the hint,” Snape replied shortly. “Obviously you require me to spell it out.”

“Five minutes! That’s all that I ask!” Harry snapped.

Snape calmly folded his hands and glared at him. “I will give you three.”

“I meant with Draco,” Harry clarified.

“Absolutely not,” Snape hissed. “You have done enough damage to him already, and I will not allow you to hurt him further.”

“I’m not going to hurt him! I just want to talk to him!” Harry insisted.

“The answer is no,” Snape snapped. “And there is nothing you could possibly say to me that would convince me otherwise.”

“Please, professor. I just want the chance to--”

“To what? Humiliate him again?” Snape interrupted sharply. “Make him feel unworthy? It is you, Potter, who is unworthy.”

“I know that! Don’t you think I know that?” Harry replied, voice going slightly higher than he had intended.

“Clearly you don’t,” Snape said angrily. “You have absolutely no idea what was done to him.”

“Then tell me, because he won't,” Harry shot back.

“Good. He has finally seen reason.”

There was a small pause as Harry made sense of Snape's words.

“You mean… he wanted to see me?” Harry asked quietly.

“What he wanted is of no consequence! The answer is no!” Snape shouted, standing abruptly. “Now remove yourself from my presence or I shall do it for you!”

Harry stood fast and clenched his hands into tight fists. “I want to know what happened to him, and I’ll do whatever it takes to find out!”

Snape's face relaxed slowly, but his eyes were still narrowed suspiciously. “Be careful of your choice of words, Potter. I may take them seriously.”

“Good! Because I mean it! Anything! Even if it means you being in the same room when I see him,” Harry said, temper rising.

Snape slowly walked around to the front of his desk like a vampire approaching its helpless victim. “Oh no, Mr Potter,” he said smoothly. “I have something completely different in mind.”

Snape's tone of voice caused a chill to run through Harry. He swallowed hard, then licked his lips nervously. “What... what do you have in mind?”

Snape grinned evilly. He crossed the room and retrieved a small stone basin from a cupboard, and then sat it down in front of Harry. With a smirk on his face, Snape pulled out a blue flask from his robe and presented it to Harry.

“Do you know what this is, Potter?”

Harry shook his head numbly. “No,” he whispered, even though he did have an idea.

“This,” Snape began, twirling the flask between his fingers, “is a collection of Draco Malfoy’s memories.”

Harry’s heart started thumping wildly in his chest. He managed to nod in understanding, waiting for Snape to continue.

“An edited version that I complied myself,” Snape drawled. “Would you care to see it?” he asked smugly, raising a challenging eyebrow.

Harry glanced back and forth between Snape and the flask before nodding. Snape took a step towards him.

“I warn you, Mr Potter. You may not survive,” Snape said, smirking, and his voice held a daring tone.

“I-I don’t care. I want to see it,” he whispered adamantly.

Snape uncorked the bottle and let the contents fill the bowl. “Then by all means,” he said, grinning and motioned to the Pensieve.

Harry took several deep breaths, trying to calm himself. He could do this. He wanted to do it. He had to see. He took a large gulp of air and plunged his face into the silvery-white substance.

~*~*~*~*~

Harry was instantly surrounded by the cool night air. Sounds of distant screaming and shouting filled his ears. They were words he remembered as clear as if they had been said yesterday.

"Get back here, you fucking coward! Get back here and face me!"

"Mr Malfoy! We don't have time for this!"

"Professor, I need to explain why..."

"No! He doesn't deserve an explanation!"

"I'll find you, Malfoy! No matter how long it takes! I will find you!"

"Let's go, Draco!"

"And when I do, I'll kill you! Do you hear me, Malfoy? I will fucking KILL you!”

Draco stumbled and would have fallen had it not been for Professor Snape's strong hold on his arm. Tears were pouring down Draco's face.

The world around Harry shifted, and he was now standing in the centre of a large, elegant sitting area. Bloodcurdling screams bounced off the fine, decorated walls.

Screams from a woman.

“Stop it!” Draco shrieked. “Father, stop it!”

With a nod from Voldemort, Lucius’ wand lowered, and his mother’s screams instantly turned into hysterical sobs. Lucius glared at Draco with extreme hatred in his eyes. Draco tried to run to his shaking mother, but two Death Eaters held him firm.

“This,” Voldemort began, pointing to Lucius, “is the display of true loyalty, young Draco.”

Draco didn’t look at Voldemort. He kept his eyes locked onto the crying, blue-grey eyes that were looking back at him with despair. “I’m so sorry, mother,” he croaked. “I tried.”

“I did not ask you to try, boy! I told you to kill Dumbledore, and I told you exactly what would happen if you failed!” Voldemort screamed. “Again, Lucius!”

Before Harry could react, the world around him spun again.

The smell of blood reached Harry’s nostrils, and he felt the urge to vomit when he saw what was in front of him. Draco was naked and hanging by his wrists. His body jerked as an audible crack of a whip struck his chest. Blood oozed out and ran down his already soaked body. There was a far-off look in his swollen eyes.

“I said, where is he?” Lucius shouted.

Harry didn’t know if Draco was purposely ignoring his father, or if he was in too much shock from the pain to answer. Another slash, but this one landed across Draco's groin. Draco's body came alive, and his mouth opened in a silent scream whilst he shook his head frantically.

Harry ran over to him. “Draco! I’m so sorry! Please forgive me!”

Draco's eyes met his, but Harry knew he wasn’t able to see him. He reached out to hold Draco, but he suddenly gasped as the angry whip went through his body and landed across Draco's face. Harry crumpled to the ground at Draco's feet and hid his head. He didn’t want to see any more.

“Forgive me,” Harry whimpered.

The world spun again.

All at once, it became deafeningly still, and the silent air hurt Harry's ears worse than the screams had done. He looked up, and his eyes searched the damp, cold cell until he found Draco, shivering in the corner, muttering to himself. Harry crawled over and knelt in front of him.

“They’re always questioning me, Harry,” Draco said, voice trembling slightly. “But I won't tell them. I won't. I’d rather die than betray you.”

Harry’s breath caught in his throat, and his chest tightened. He knew then that Snape was right. He was not worthy of Draco.

The world rotated again.

And again. And again.

Over and over, Harry was forced to watch traumatic event after traumatic event of Draco being violently abused. Each one was worse than the previous. Periodically, there were moments that showed how Draco was being healed by none other than Professor Snape. Harry supposed that it had been Snape's job to patch Draco up just so they could break him down again. Snape didn’t offer Draco much moral support, though. In fact, the room was always eerily silent.

The world shifted again, and Harry was once more thrust into the nightmare Draco had lived. Hopelessly, Harry would run to his former boyfriend, begging for forgiveness, and crying harder than Draco himself was doing. By the time Harry had entered the twelfth vision, he had had enough. He had to get out of this nightmare world he was in, but he didn’t know how.

Believing that it was Snape who was holding him captive, Harry began screaming for him to release him, but the only answer he had received was another vision - more gruesome than any other he had seen. Harry knew subconsciously that if he were to stay any longer, he would surely go insane.

No sooner than that thought had crossed his mind, the world around him became deathly silent. At first, he was certain that he had gone stone deaf, but a faint sound coming from the right of him confirmed that he hadn't. Harry strained his ears to make out just exactly what it was that he heard, and then his heart sank when he recognised the soft whimpering.

“Harry,” Draco wheezed. “Don’t know how much more I can take. I’m getting weaker every day, and they know it.” He wrapped his arms tightly across his torn and bloody chest. “Seeing your face…not working anymore…” He began rocking back and forth and started shaking his head. “Can't hold out much longer… can't…Can’t hold out…”

“Draco! Draco!”

Draco's words faded into the darkness, along with his image.

Harry continued to shout, but when he entered into a new memory, a much louder voice overpowered his.

“So, Malfoy. Is he really worth all this?”

“Yes,” Draco hissed.

“And do you honestly think he’ll take you back, now that you're a cripple and … useless?”

Draco closed his eyes, but his face couldn’t hide his pain.

"I didn't think so. Again, Zabini.”

“You’re not useless!” Harry shrieked. “You're not! I love you!”

The world shifted again.

This time Harry was enveloped in total darkness. The wet and foul-smelling ground filled his nostrils, and he knew straightaway that he was back in Draco's old cell. It suddenly became clear to him which vision he was now in. Harry immediately panicked. He didn’t want to see this. He didn’t want to witness his betrayal to the man he loved.

“Stop it, Snape! Stop it!” Harry roared. “Let me out right now!”

“Harry,” Draco wheezed.

Harry's body froze in terror at the sound of Draco's low and unnatural voice, and his heart skipped a beat.

“I’m so sorry, Harry,” Draco whispered, his voice now sounding as if it was breaking. “I swore I would never give in, but I … I just wasn’t strong enough,” Draco cried softly.

Harry’s body began to shake violently. “Yes, you were! I would have never lasted as long as you did!” Harry shouted.

“They lied to me, Harry,” Draco continued. “They said that they would kill me … if I told them…” Draco paused a moment to take a deep breath, and then he blurted out, “I told them, Harry! I just couldn’t take it anymore, so I told them! I told them everything, but they still wouldn’t kill me!” Draco wailed. “They promised, Harry! They promised!”

“Stop it!” Harry shouted, and he blindly lunged at Draco in order him to shake some sense into him, but he passed right through him, and landed against the damp wall. He scrambled to his knees, and cried, “Stop saying that! You're alive! That’s all that matters to me!”

Draco suddenly began to laugh maniacally. “Do you know why they didn’t kill me, Harry? They said they wanted the pleasure of watching you do it after you learned of my betrayal.”

“You didn’t betray me! I betrayed you!”

Draco's laughter lingered for a moment before turning into quiet sobs. “Harry,” he whispered, his voice now rough from his screaming. “Please hurry.”

Harry opened his mouth to yell again when suddenly a soft, shimmering light filled the small cell. Harry looked up and saw his own face sneering back at him. He jumped to his feet and ran over to his memory.

“YOU!” Harry screamed at the top of his lungs.

"Potter," Draco wheezed, sounding almost relieved. He lowered his head again and sighed. "It's finally over."

"Yes, Malfoy," Memory Harry said tightly. "The war is over."

“It’s all your fault!” Harry shouted at him.

Draco slowly shook his head. "I meant my life."

Harry began swinging his arms and his fists wildly at his image in an attempt to hit his smug face. “Don’t listen to him, Draco!” he called out over his shoulder. “Don’t listen to anything he has to say!”

"You think I'm here to kill you?" Memory Harry said with a slight accusation in his voice.

“Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!” Harry cried, still trying to strike Memory Harry, but he was punching nothing but air.

Malfoy lifted his eyes. "You mean you're not?" There was a definite sadness in his voice.

"No, Malfoy, I'm not. You will stand trial for your betrayal," Memory Harry said.

“Your betrayal, you bastard! YOUR betrayal!” Harry shouted as he continued to thrash the air, hoping that just one of his fists would connect and break his nose. When it didn’t, Harry began kicking Memory Harry with every ounce of energy he had left.

“My betrayal of you, you mean,” Draco whispered.

“NOOOOO!” Harry howled.

~*~*~*~*~

Harry was still shouting, throwing punches, and kicking the air when he fell down hard on the cold floor of Professor Snape's office. His body rolled around, arms and legs still thrashing violently. Harry’s head hit the back wall, and, after actually feeling the pain, he scurried up against it, and his body jerked in terror. He began looking frantically at his surroundings, but saw nothing but blurs of light. Harry could feel himself losing his perception, and could sense that his body was twitching in convulsions.

Harry cried out as his head was viciously yanked backwards, and immediately started choking as soon as his throat was engulfed with liquid. He sputtered and coughed, and desperately tried to breathe. If not for the words being spoken so loudly, he would have never heard them.

“Calm down, Potter; you’re not dying,” a deep voice snarled.

Harry waved his arms blindly, trying to grab on to something so his world would stop spinning.

“I said, calm down!” Snape called out angrily.

After recognising the vile voice, Harry futilely tried to stop his body from moving of its own accord, and he started blinking furiously to regain his sight. His mouth opened and closed but no words came out. The only thing he was able to do at that moment was breathe so he concentrated solely on that.

In. Out. In. Out.

It took a few minutes of deep breathing before Harry’s mind felt clear enough to speak.

“Y-y-y...” was the only thing he managed to get out.

“Just keep silent, and let the potion work,” Snape hissed.

Harry closed his eyes and wrapped his arms about his chest, squeezing it tightly. He drew up his legs, and curled into a foetal position on his side. He stayed like that for what seemed like hours instead of minutes, feeling his body slowly returning to normal.

“Well, Potter, was it everything you had hoped it would be?” Snape drawled sarcastically.

Harry couldn’t tell if his head moved from involuntary movements, or if he actually nodded.

“Really?” Snape mocked. “And do you still think you are worthy enough to see him?”

Harry batted his eyes open, and tried to focus in on the pale and shallow face towering over him. This time he could feel himself answer. He shook his head.

“I didn’t think so,” Snape sneered. “What would have made you believe otherwise?”

Using all of his will power, Harry uncurled one of his arms and blindly fumbled with his trousers until he found the entrance of his pocket. He reached in and pulled out a small flask. With no more energy to lift his arm, Harry let the phial drop from his hand and hoped that it would roll over to Snape.

Through tear-filled eyes, he saw Snape stoop down and pick it up.

“I suppose you think that this will change my mind?”

Harry looked pleadingly at him and nodded. Snape scowled, and Harry could vaguely see a black figure walking away. He closed his eyes once again, and didn’t open them until he heard the sounds of approaching feet, echoing on the ground. He looked up with hope, and then breathed a sigh of relief when he saw a slightly shaken Snape nod his consent.

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