All That You Leave Behind

16/12/07: Hi, Queens here. Despite what we said about no doing daily updates, we felt inspired after posting the start to the story, so here is chapter two (and chapter three follows).



Chapter Two



Harry lay on his back staring at the ceiling. Around him was the muted hustle and bustle of the school. Everyone had been affected by the final battle - had lost a friend, a relative, had seen death and destruction or awful cruelty and stupid bravery. In the Hospital Wing the silence was absolute - no noise reached Harry, even if he had been aware enough of his surroundings to take an interest. His green eyes rarely blinked as he gazed uncaringly at the white surface above him. What did anything matter? What had been the point in him fighting? In Snape fighting? No one cared. No one had wanted to get to know their prickly vicious Potions master. Everyone - Harry included - had accepted the world\'s estimate of Snape, and no one - Harry included - had taken the time to get to know the real man.



And now he was dead.



Dead. And destroyed. Harry\'s mind revolted at the thought of Snape\'s body casually burnt as if it were rubbish. Snape hadn\'t deserved that, not even had the world been right about him. And they hadn\'t been: they\'d been WRONG. Harry had been wrong, and now he had no way of ever making it right.



Harry thought about the seven years he had known and loathed Snape - seven years to get to know him, but instead he had judged him, had never given him a chance, had always assumed the worst of the man, and had never once believed the only person to know Snape - Dumbledore. Dumbledore had told anyone who would listen time and time again that Snape was a good man, but no one had wanted to believe him. Harry hadn\'t wanted to believe him. He had been so sure in his convictions: that Snape was a liar and a coward and a murderer. The foundations of his world were crumbling, and all because he had misjudged one person so badly.



He felt a single hot tear slide from the corner of his eye. He could feel the aching lump in his throat. His heart feeling like a dead weight in his chest. He closed his eyes, struggling to contain the enormous sob he felt building, inside. He would give anything, he thought, to have Snape come stalking into the infirmary, scowl firmly in place, and growl at him. Harry bit his lip, trying to keep in his anguish at knowing that would never happen again. Finally, remembering his utter devastation at seeing the charred ruins of the Shrieking Shack smoking around him, Harry could no longer keep his pain inside, and turned to bury his head in his pillow, silent, relentless tears of anguish and regret dripping off his cheeks and soaking the white cotton beneath him. A half sob broke from him as he finally realised what it was he had lost. The dead weight of his heart had become unbearable, and he wished that he\'d stayed in the train station with Dumbledore rather than face the nothing he\'d become. This was more than he could take and… A sudden vision flashed through his mind: a soft voice telling him everything would be alright, and his heart ached with a different pain. Ginny. He wanted Ginny. He made to scramble out of bed, intent on finding her, and found himself looking into a pair of bright brown eyes. Ginny. As if she\'d heard him call out for her, she was there.



"Harry," she sighed in relief, gathering him up, "you\'re awake."



He closed his eyes, clinging to the only person who really saw him for who he was.



She held him tightly for a moment and then said, "Harry...Ron and Hermione are right behind me."



Her words made him want to cling to her all the more, to cry out his pain on her shoulder, because she understood him, and knew he wouldn\'t want them to see him so weak and crying and upset. He pulled away, giving her a grateful look as he took a deep breath and leaned back into this pillows, gripping her hand tightly for strength.



"I\'m glad you\'re awake," she said, with a smile, "Hermione\'s been driving me mad."



Harry gave a smile, feeling his heart lighten. Ginny returned his smile, and squeezed his hand. She took a deep breath and turned to face the door, waiting for the onslaught of her brother and his girlfriend.



"Harry!" Hermione shrieked, coming through the door, "You\'re awake!" That brought Madam Pomfrey bustling out of her office. Harry rolled his eyes at Ginny, who smiled and squeezed his hand again.



“Mr. Potter," Madam Pomfrey said, beating Hermione to his bedside with a nasty looking potion in her hand and a frown and his and Ginny\'s clasped hands. "Now, we mustn\'t go exciting you too much, you\'ve just woken up." Harry stifled his laughter at Ginny, who moved to sit on the edge of his bed and fluffed his pillow for him smiling cheekily at the medi-witch.



"Take this," Madam Pomfrey, said, rolling her eyes and shoving a dose of potion at him. She looked at his friends, sighed, and said, "Don\'t excite him. And don\'t stay too long," before sweeping off back to her office.



Hermione said gently, "Harry....Ginny told us what happened in the tunnel…"



"Yeah..." Harry said, looking away. Trust Hermione to bring that up now, he couldn\'t help thinking a bit grimly, just when he had started feeling happier. He looked at Ron, saw the lines of grief on his face and felt guilt smite him - how had he forgotten Fred? Harry looked from Ron to Ginny, appalled at his own thoughtlessness



"Gin, Ron, how are you holding up with Fred and everything?"



Ron looked away, a muscle twitching in his jaw, and Harry just wanted to sink into his bed and disappear, but Ginny nodded once and squeezed his hand again. Somehow, it made him feel worse.



"I\'d... I\'d like to say goodbye. When\'s the funeral?"



"It was last week," Ginny said softly. "You\'ve been comatose for eight days."



Harry was thunderstruck, and again struggled to fight off tears. In his head he had been aware of time passing, but he hadn\'t dreamed it had been anything like that long. How had it been so long? The hopeless feeling was creeping back in. Another one he couldn\'t say goodbye to. Another one he couldn’t say sorry to.



"George.." Harry rasped, "...how...how is he holding up?"



Unable to hold back his grief a moment longer Ron exploded, "How do you think, Harry? He lost an ear thanks to that guy you say is a hero, and his twin was murdered too. How do you think he\'s holding up?"



"Yeah, well, we\'d ALL be dead if it weren’t for that guy I call a hero!!"



They glared at each other in angry silence for a few moments. It was Hermione who finally broke the impasse.



“We…we should go.” She pulled on Ron’s arm and turned away.



Harry wanted to call out to them, to apologise, to say something but what could he say? Snape had been responsible for George’s injury, but he was a hero too. He turned worried eyes to Ginny – how would she react? Would she go to?



“I’m staying right here, Harry,” she said, with a sad smile. “I miss Fred, I do, but I can’t help him now, but I can help you.”



Harry swallowed past the lump in his throat. What had he ever done to deserve Ginny? He hadn’t been especially clever at school. In fact he had cribbed from Hermione and been stupid and foolish at times. He had put himself and others in danger.



Harry could now see his own immaturity, and see it through Snape\'s eyes, could see how annoying and precocious and downright irritating he\'d been. No wonder the other man had snarked and snapped and taken house points. Harry had deserved it.