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Angel Of Mercy	By : AttentionDeficit Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 10159 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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Why Can’t You Finish What You Started?
Who knew by listening to Granger talk I have earned Stage one? Weird. I’m guessing the slip of my mask is what caused it, but what do I know? Who would have know to get out of here you have to go through five stages? I don’t know what they are. But eventually during your stages you have to spend a little time at your family’s house. Joy, Joy of Joys. That must be love from the support staff at Aspen Springs where everyone here is fucking crazy.
Anyway, I’m walking down the corridor; follow the yellow paint line to the dining room. I push open the white doors (don’t people know all this white is getting old?) and see a line of people heading towards something that looks like a lunch line in a homeless shelter.
There are people from twenty to forty years old. It looks as though some of them are almost a hundred but there isn’t that strong of a magical pull from anyone. I would love to know the exact age numbers but I would need my wand and they took that away. Wow, that’s the first time I have actually missed it, strange.
I slowly make my way through the line. I feel really alone in this room. The girls sit on one side and the boys on the other. There are four guards watching over everyone. They wear bright blue robes and their wands are all drawn and ready for anything. Lovely. People go fucking crazy and attack each other here. Yippee. If I get hit somewhere I hope it kills me.
The lunch lady from hobo jungle gives me a sickly looking sandwich with way too much mayo and too little ham and cheese. She also gives me a carton of milk and two oatmeal cookies. I already miss hell - I mean, home.
I walk towards the very back table on the men’s side and find it already has one occupant. I sit down anyway and play with my sandwich.
“Don’t you know you’re not supposed to play with your food?” says my table buddy.
“Don’t you know this isn’t real food it’s just transformed waste between bread?” I reply. I look up to see his lips twist upward a tiny inch, but his eyes remain flat. Directly above them is a lightening scar.
My shoulders slump. Oh fuck it's Potter.
“Hello, Malfoy. Did someone finally break you? I know I tried enough at that and failed. There’s another thing to add to my list of why I’m a failure. Or did you fail to break yourself?”
Potter’s voice is dull and lifeless. He seems dead, a talking Inferus.
“Oh don’t you worry about it, Potter. You definitely helped in breaking me but I also helped that a lot to so… oh well you tried. But next time Potter could you just end me yourself?”
Potter looks up. Probably from the “kill me” comment. People normally freak out when that is said.
“When did I attempt to kill you?”
“Ah, innocent Potter. The first time you tried to kill me was in Myrtle’s bathroom. I believe you tried to bleed me dry. That was about the time that everything went… bang. “
I ended it in a whisper. Maybe he’ll be angry. I wouldn’t mind being pummeled and maybe cut, maybe blood, maybe….maybe….maybe.
“I never meant to kill you. I didn’t even know what the spell did.”
“Don’t worry about it Potter. You didn’t really kill me. You just really helped my year’s later need for blood. No harm done.”
Potter’s eyes are still lifeless. He shrugs as if he doesn’t know what to feel or do. As if he’s broken inside. I wonder if Potter is just a shell with some conscious thought and maybe a huge load of guilt. Wow. I could so be a psychiatrist.
“Since when? Your incompetent and that’s only a guess.” I think.
“Shut up.”
Oh shit I said that out loud.
“Who are you talking to?” my dear lunch buddy asks. Lie or tell the truth?
“Myself. For you see I am fucking crazy and if trying to off myself doesn’t prove it then nothing does.”
“That doesn’t make you crazy. But you really did try the big S? I didn’t know Malfoys could fail at something so easy. “
“Well I wouldn’t have if someone didn’t hear me fall and come to see if I was alright. Couldn’t just let me bleed to death in peace. Like it would have been so fucking hard.”
Calm down. Breath. Don’t you dare let him know the intensity of your wish to die. Okay good.
“I know how you feel. If they hadn’t come into my room for another twenty minutes I’d be dead right now instead of here. “
“You mean your bathroom, right?”
“Yeah…. How the hell do you know that? Where did you read my story? From some trashy magazine, or in the Daily Prophet?”
Oh fuck. Wait he doesn’t sound pissed. Actually he still sounds dead. Oh well I’ll tell the truth then.
“Granger told me. She’s my psychiatrist. Horrible I know. Dealing with her to get out of here.” I say trying to lighten things up a bit.
“So she’s telling things about me to people that have never even known me. “
“Potter-“
"Lunch is over please return to you rooms."
A voice says and Potter gets up and leaves before I can say anything to him.
It would seem I’ve screwed up what he thought about his friends. Wait, why didn’t he call them his friends? What the hell happened to their friendship?
I arrive back at my room and I am more confused than ever. The meds man comes again or so I call it. There’s a swish of a wand and I feel the anti-depressant spell start to work in to my brain and there goes my thoughts…
* * *
A voice stirs me from a peaceful slumber.
“Mr. Malfoy, are you okay? We accidentally gave you the wrong dose of medicine.”
I nod. Not truly coherent yet and feeling dizzy.
“We just want to inform you that parents come to visit tomorrow and you have to visit them. THERE IS NO ONE TO SAVE YOU NOW,” the voice yells at me and then an evil cackle starts up and in turns into at least fifteen people laughing at me. And suddenly they are in my room pointing and laughing at me.
I spring myself up off my bed. As I slowly realize I just dreamt that. And I’m not even a little bit woozy from the medication.
I hate dreaming. Nothing is more infuriating then finding out what they mean.
The part about my parents coming and the insane laughter is just a fear of facing them now. They going to say something like, you threw your life away, you’re disowned, and it took us so much money to fix what you did to our name. And that’s what it comes down to with those people. Money and the Malfoy name. Stupid load of garbage.
But the overdose of drugs is confusing, it could mean I need to increase the medication I’m already getting or it could mean I need to choose a different way to escape from my crappy life. Trying to kill myself is not the right answer. Well clearly it isn’t, Mr. Dream because I can’t finish it.
The dizzy feeling means I am confused and unsure of what to do. It means I don’t know what to choose.
Now calculate that together and tell me what the hell it means.
To me it sounds like my logical side of my brain saying suicide is not the answer and there is something else that is an easier escape from my life. But could that be true? Is there really a better way out of this rut I’m in? And if so where is it?
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Angel Of Mercy