Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Too Much Of Not Enough	By : RikuRocks Category: Harry Potter AU/AR > Slash - Male/Male Views: 1782 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to Harry Potter, nor am I making any money from this work of fiction.

Chapter List
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Severus sat across from Remus on the floor of the large prefect�s bathroom, with a game of wizard�s chess between them. Like the rest of the castle, the bathroom was decorated for Christmas, with plenty of holly boughs with enchanted frost, mistletoe, icicles that were charmed never to melt, and a small tree with silver and gold decorations. The mermaid portrait, which several of the prefects found discomforting, as it tended to react to them while bathing, had been wrapped in blue paper with silver ribbon and a large bow.

The raven-haired teen considered the pieces on the board carefully before making his move. While he would never say it to her, Severus had never found playing the game with Lily to be particularly stimulating as she was generally so focused on defending her king, that she seemed to forget she was also supposed to be capturing his. Despite the fact that he clearly did not have as much experience with the game as Severus, Remus did not have any such issues and had improved to Severus� skill level over the past few months.

The obsidian-eyed teen allowed himself to ponder this while the fawn-haired boy considered his next move, eventually deciding that his lack of gregariousness had prevented the shorter boy from playing enough to develop much skill prior to their games. The Gryffindor seemed to have as little, if not less, socialising experience than Severus himself did, which the latter found strange.
Remus was polite, unassuming, kind, intelligent, and had dry wit about him that Severus was sure should be appealing to other people besides himself and Lily. Yet, aside from them, Black, Potter, and Pettigrew, the Slytherin never saw his quiet friend interact with the other students more than was required by his prefect duties or some other brief, polite exchange such as informing a lost first year where the nearest lavatory was.

Before he could question his friend�s social awkwardness any further, his thoughts were broken by the sound of Remus� slightly hoarse voice, �Not that I�m not flattered, Severus, but I know I haven�t improved enough for you need quite this long to think on your next move.�

Severus blinked and then scowled at his friend, who grinned in response; �Good to have you back; mind telling me where you wandered off to?�

A small smirk touched the raven-haired boy�s lips, �Just visiting the merfolk.�

Remus nodded his understanding; after the second time they had watched the sunrise together and further discovered they shared very similar thoughts upon seeing the merfolk village in the Dark Lake, the two had taken to saying they were visiting the merfolk whenever their thoughts wandered to a place they did not feel any want to share. Severus suspected that it was when they considered how things might be different -better- as he now knew that Remus� home life and social status were not any better than his own. In any case, they had earned some very amusing looks from Lily whenever she heard one of them claim this while the other simply accepted it as a fair response.

The obsidian-eyed boy turned his thoughts and gaze back to their current chess game and quickly made his move, then sat back and smirked further as Remus realised he was going to have to sacrifice one of his bishops if he intended to get anywhere.

Just then, Lily entered the room, dragging her trunk behind her, and made a beeline for her friends. �Oh, that Potter! I don�t know what is with him lately but I swear I preferred it when he was trying to levitate my ponytail into my inkwell.� Severus scowled and Remus shook his head slowly; for how well Lily was able to notice when boys crushed on one of her girlfriends or the like, she was somehow completely oblivious to the fact that James Potter fancied her. �Well, everyone�s about to go home for Christmas,� green eyes focused on the Slytherin, �Are you sure you don�t want to go home, Severus?�

Severus merely shot his friend an incredulous look. The girl sighed and shook her head, �All right, I should know better by now anyway. Happy Christmas, Severus; don�t open this until Christmas morning.� She dropped a small, neatly wrapped package on the ground by the chessboard, nearly squishing one of Remus� captured pawns, which shook an angry fist at her.

Ignoring the incised game piece, the redhead turned to her other friend, �Hey, Remus�I just realised I�ve never asked where you live. If it�s close enough, maybe I can give you a call over the break.�

�Oh, I�m sorry, Lily,� the brown-eyed boy offered her an apologetic smile as he prodded one of his bishops to move. �I�m not going home either.�

�What?� Lily�s eyes were sympathetic, although she appeared to be fighting a grin as well. �Why not?�

�Because he never does,� replied Severus as his knight took the shorter boy�s bishop.

�How do you know that?� questioned the redhead.

�There aren�t that many students who stay home over the holidays,� the raven-haired teen drawled as he was actually paying more attention to Remus� rook, which was starting to look like a greater threat to his strategy than he had realised. �I could hardly fail to notice him during meals or reading in the library.�

�And yet, you never thought to talk to him before this term,� commented Lily dryly. She rolled her eyes, �Boys�you are so clueless. At least you�ll be able to keep each other company this year. Happy Christmas; I better go�have fun!� The green-eyed girl dropped another small package on the floor, this one addressed to Remus, which caused the same pawn to have to dodge before shouting curses at the retreating teen.

�Do all wizarding chess sets curse like that?� asked Remus as he looked at the angry pawn with interest.

�No, I bought this one used and the previous owner must have had a rather colourful vocabulary,� replied the sallow-skinned teen as he contemplated a way to save his strategy. He glanced about as a more important thought came to mind, and saw that they were alone in the room. �So why do you always stay here over the holidays? I�ve noticed that none of your other friends ever stay. Check.�

The fawn-haired boy became very still and continued looking down at the game board, although Severus could see his eyes shift as he too confirmed that no one else was around. �Well, for one thing, my dad and I have very little money and the food, water, and heat are already paid for here��

The obsidian-eyed boy was tempted to push his friend to say more, but recognised the hesitance in his tone. He was going to tell him the rest -for that was clearly just part of the reason- anyway, or at least, he wanted to tell him.

�I won�t tell anyone,� Severus said honestly, �Even Lily, if you�d rather she not know. I know how she can be sometimes when she means well.�

Remus nodded, �Only I don�t want it to get back to James, Sirius, or Peter either; they�don�t seem to understand this sort of thing.�

�They don�t seem to understand much outside of their own narrow perspectives,� commented Severus. Then, he frowned at his slightly shorter friend, �Do you think that I won�t understand either?�

�No, I-I think you will,� the scarred boy smiled lightly but it quickly faded. �My dad�gets along better when I�m not around. He hasn�t really liked to�deal with anyone since my mum passed away, including me.� Remus glanced up to look at Severus, who nodded, understanding clear in his obsidian eyes.

The raven-haired boy watched the shorter boy for a moment, deciding the least insensitive way to phrase his next question. He was spared the need, however, as Remus seemed to understand what he was struggling with and offered the information he desired anyway. �She died two years before I came to Hogwarts. She liked to experiment with potions and hexes�� The fawn-haired boy obviously fought to repress a shudder. �One of the potions�something went wrong; a bad mix of some sort. Her lab was in the cellar and I guess the fumes became toxic.�

The obsidian-eyed teen remained silent for a moment as he felt an unusual stir of sympathy. Remus was clearly distressed, but it was just as obvious that he was trying to hide it. �That must have been hard for you�and your father.�

�I think he feels guilty�they got on rather poorly toward the end,� Remus answered slowly, and Severus had the strangest feeling that he was the first person the shorter boy had said any of this to. ��Especially when I was around.� A quiet moment passed as the taller boy pondered that last statement and the shorter boy quietly fought to regain his composure. Then, Remus startled Severus by asking with a sympathetic tine, �What about you? Why don�t you ever go home for the holidays?�

Severus scoffed, �I doubt that my parents would stop arguing long enough to realise I had come home, and if they did, my father would use it to somehow start yet another fight. I swear they look for any excuse to start shouting at one another.�

The fawn-haired boy nodded this time, and Severus was pleased to find only empathy in his expression, with no trace of the pity he had received when people learned of this in the past. When Remus spoke again, his tone was quieter than before, as though he were fighting an ingrained command not to speak of it. �Do you ever�feel guilty?�

�No,� the raven-haired boy responded honestly, but as gently as he could force himself to. �It�s their problem and they were stupid enough to drag a kid into their miserable lives, so I don�t see why I should.� The obsidian-eyed teen made a dismissing gesture before frowning and looking at his friend again, �Why, do you?�

�I know it isn�t actually my fault, per se,� commented the shorter boy after giving a small nod, �But I also know that if it weren�t for me, they�d have either still gotten along well or they would have gone their separate ways already.�

�How do you know they didn�t always fight?� questioned Severus with a small frown, �Mine always have, as far as I know.�

�I don�t remember it so well anymore, but I know they were happy in the beginning�you can see it in their old photographs,� replied Remus mildly.

The raven-haired boy arched an eyebrow, �And what makes you think the change had anything to do with you?�

The fawn-haired boy grew very still again, and Severus suspected that he was choosing the wording of his answer carefully. �My father is a Muggle and he doesn�t really know how to handle�this,� the Gryffindor made a vague gesture with his hand that the taller teen presumed was either intended to mean the world around them in general or the fact that Remus himself was a wizard. �I know he still loves me, but he doesn�t know how to react to- He just wanted a normal child, not a little freak like me.�

Severus was not sure what to say at first; it was clear that the freak comment was something Remus was quoting, likely having heard his father say it -whether Remus had heard it by mistake or it had been said directly to him made little difference, in Severus� opinion. While his own parents� fights were normally directed at each other, he knew how it felt to hear such degrading comments, day in and day out�and knowing it would never change. The look on the Gryffindor�s face told him that his friend did not want pity any more than he did. �I still don�t see any call for you to feel guilty. It isn�t as though you asked to be what you are; you had no choice in the matter, while he should have known the risks of thier choices.�

When he received no response, the raven-haired teen looked up from the chessboard to find that Remus was watching him strangely, with a mix of emotions he could not name shimmering in his eyes. Severus nodded, knowing there was nothing else to say for now. He himself had not known how to react to Lily�s response when she first heard about his home life. The girl had been shocked at first, then suddenly went on a tangent about how �wrong and unfair� it was and how Severus deserved better. She had then taken to asking how things were in his home nearly every time they spoke, as though checking for something. Eventually, the redhead realised she would never understand how one came to accept that sort of life, and just made her friend promise to tell her if things became worse. Severus was able to recognise that Remus had never heard anyone tell him anything like what he had just said before either, and knew it would take a while for the words to settle in his mind.

The subject of their parents did not come up again until a few days later, when the two boys had retrieved some hot chocolate from the kitchens -after Remus showed Severus how to enter them- and had then found an empty classroom.

The two teens were sitting on a blanket draped over the floor and were watching the snowfall outside the window, when Severus suddenly thought of the conversation they had shared several days before. �Lupin, do you recall our conversation the day everyone left?�

They had discussed several things that day, and Severus was sure the fawn-haired boy remembered all of them, but he also knew that Remus would know which one he was speaking of, and could easily bring up another if he wanted the subject to remain closed.

�About our parents...?� It was obvious that the scarred teen was not used to discussing his parents, and Severus found the fact that he apparently did not mind talking to him about them strangely endearing.

�Yes, I was wondering; you said you don�t remember a time when they got along so well anymore. What do you remember�about when it changed?�

The shorter boy sat his cup of cocoa beside him and leaned back on his elbows, still gazing out the window. �I know that it started sometime after I turned�four. Everything felt�different, tense. I had already realised that I was the cause of the change, and I was always afraid of setting off another argument between them. I rarely even approached them, which I must have been able to do before, because it made me sad then.�

Severus nodded, sitting hunched over slightly and watching the snowfall as well. From the timeline Remus had given, he guessed the �change� Remus believed he started came when the boy showed his first sign of magic. He also knew too well the feeling of not wanting to start another fight and the tension that feeling caused in a household.

�Within a few weeks, my father had taken a job in a different school -he�s a Muggle professor- and we moved to the house we live in now. My mother said that things would get better once we had settled into our new lives.� While his tone had taken a sombre note, Remus still did not sound bitter or angry in the least. Severus was beginning to wonder if his friend was even capable of becoming angry.

The raven-haired boy made a small, scoffing sound as the other boy�s last words registered. Rather than taking offence, the fawn-haired boy simply nodded. �Our new life, as she called it, just kept getting worse until I came here. Now dad seems to be in a constant state of tumult whenever I�m around�What about yours? Do you know anything about when they��

�Became bitter, angry gits�?� suggested the obsidian-eyed boy before he sat his cup aside and leaned back as Remus had. �Well, as I�m sure you can understand, I�ve never actually asked them about their life before I can remember.�

Severus glanced beside him and saw the shorter boy nod earnestly, as he had expected. �From what I�ve heard in passing or while they�re shouting at one another, I�ve gathered that my father didn�t know my mother was a witch before they married�he knew nothing about any of this before then. When my mother became pregnant with me, her parents, who had never approved of my father, ceased all contact with her. I think that might have been when my father found out about magic.�

�It must have been hard for your mother,� the brown-eyed boy commented softly, �Keeping that a secret all that time.�

�I suppose it was, but I think she already knew it would cause problems and just�thought it would be wiser to hide it.� The raven-haired teen shrugged as well as he could in his current position. �I think he might have left her then, but she was pregnant and I guess he had wanted to stick around and see which of them I took after before leaving me behind. By the time I proved myself to be a wizard, they had already grown compliant with their situation and neither has ever made a move to end it as far as I know.�

Severus� thoughts turned inward as he recalled moments he had not for years, and surprised himself when he spoke again; �My father is the sort who thinks it weak to show ones feelings, besides hostility. So he channels everything into anger: fear, confusion, pain�it all just fuels his anger. I think all of this is just too far beyond him and he�s afraid to admit it. She used to try to calm him, and she�d cry when he started screaming�then, she just started screaming back and they�ve never stopped.�

The tone of Remus� voice when he spoke again was far stronger than Severus had ever heard before, and he doubted he would ever hear again, so he decided to commit it to memory for the next time he ever forgot the shorter boy was a Gryffindor.

�They don�t ever do more than scream�do they?�

�What do you mean?�

�Do they ever hurt you�physically?�

�No, I don�t think they have enough passion left in them for that sort of thing;� the raven-haired teen looked at the fawn-haired boy, who was still looking out the window. His posture relaxed notably at the honesty of the taller boy�s answer. Obsidian eyes trailed over the other boy�s slightly slumped shoulder, and the brown-eyed teen�s position stretched his collar enough for Severus to catch sight of a couple of normally hidden scars on the shorter boy�s neck as his hair fell back. �Have you ever been�hurt by either of yours?�

There was a very short pause before Remus answered with a slight shake of his head, �No��

Over the time they had spent together, during which Severus had come to think of the scarred boy as a friend, even if he had yet to call him such aloud, the raven-haired boy had learned a few things about the fawn-haired boy. One of which, was that Remus Lupin hated to lie and it showed in the sense that he was terrible at telling lies�directly. However, Severus had heard Remus lie through omission, and found that the shorter boy could pull that off; he would just need to work on his hesitance a little more as it could give him away to anyone who had observed him for a fair amount of time.

Between the fact that Remus still had a way to go in order to lie through omission passably to anyone who actually cared to pay attention, and that Severus had, in fact, been observing him for years, the obsidian-eyed teen could easily hear the unspoken �not anymore� that Remus omitted from his otherwise honest response.

Continuing to watch the brown-eyed teen closely, Severus asked, �When did it revert to only fighting amongst themselves?�

There was another brief pause, and the sallow-skinned teen knew the fawn-haired boy was quickly deciding the best way to phrase his answer�it was a trait Severus had learned they shared rather quickly. �When my mother died -But hurting me was never their intention. It just�happened that way.�

Between the fact that whatever it was his parents had done to him was apparently over, that Remus clearly did not want to speak on the matter just yet, and that the other boy�s thin neck and shoulders were tense again, Severus decided not to push for more information just yet.

However, before banishing the thought from his mind for the time being, the raven-haired boy did make another mental note of the information he could deduce from that last statement on the matter. As it did not sound as though there had been any interference on his father�s part, Severus briefly wondered if Remus ability to sit on the sidelines when he clearly wanted to stop something from happening was not a trait he had learned young from his father�s example.

�I�ve never told anyone about- well, any of this before.� Remus� voice was low and Severus could not guess what had been left out of that statement, but he figured he had heard the more important point anyway, and he could allow his friend some secrets for now. Then, Remus turned his eyes too look at the raven-haired teen and the corner of his mouth twisted up slightly, �It�s nice to be able to.�

There it was. The obsidian-eyed boy understood that he and his friend had another thing in common; keeping the personal details of their lives close to the vest had simply become a matter of defence that was now second nature to them. The difference between them, however, was that Remus clearly did not like having to keep such secrets. Severus could not help but wonder; if he were completely honest with himself, had he also wished for someone that he could share such honestly with�

�It is,� he agreed quietly, and both of the boy�s fell into a comfortable silence as they continued watching the snowfall.

The two boys spent nearly the entirety of their holiday break in each other�s company. They met up before breakfast everyday, and usually did not part until they turned in for the night. On a few occasions, they even fell asleep in whichever abandoned part of the castle they had been talking or reading in, with neither remarking on it in the morning. Severus learned that Remus had previously spent some of his alone time a little differently than he, when the fawn-haired teen showed him a few short cuts in the castle; passages that Severus doubted even most of the staff knew of.

�Perhaps this fondness of exploration is what landed you in Gryffindor,� mused the raven-haired teen as the end of the break neared and Christmas was rapidly approaching. The boys were sitting in the kitchen, playing a game of cards, and periodically assuring the house elves that they did not need to be waited on.

The shorter boy shrugged slightly before taking a sip of his tea; �I like to know my territory.�

Severus arched an eyebrow and smirked slightly, �Your territory?�

A slight flush spread the other boy�s cheekbones as he looked down; �I just- I meant�well, this is pretty much my home. I mean, I spend more time here than anywhere else, you know? I-I��

�Lupin, relax,� stated Severus in a slightly teasing tone, trying not to let the full force of his amusement show. �You�re going to attract the house elves�they�re already dying for any excuse to fuss over us. Besides, I understand perfectly. Do you not imagine that I also think of Hogwarts as my home?�

The shorter teen�s colour began to return to normal, and he nodded with a small smile, although he still looked slightly uneasy.

The obsidian-eyed teen glanced back at his cards again, �Would you like to exchange our Christmas gifts in a more traditional manner tomorrow?� While both boys knew that the magical method in which holiday gifts seemed to appear under trees or at the ends of beds on Christmas morning was the wizard�s traditional method, as half bloods that were raised in strictly Muggle environments, Severus knew that the shorter boy would grasp his meaning.

Sure enough, the fawn-haired teen smiled without question. �Yes; how about meeting me in the prefect�s bathroom in the morning?� None of the other prefects had stayed behind, and so the bathroom designated for them had become one of the pair�s haunts over the holiday break.

Severus nodded, �We should bring Lily�s gifts as well and open them there.�

�Good idea, then we can send an owl thanking her and wishing her a happy Christmas together; that way her neighbours are less likely to notice anything odd.� Remus glanced at the taller boy, clearly looking for any signs that the idea was unsatisfactory.

The raven-haired boy simply smirked and nodded, wondering if it were a normal part of friendship that he felt a comfortable warmth settle over him at the thought of Remus signing a missive to their friend along with him. �Good thinking.�

Early the next morning, after opening his mother�s gift as well as one from Professor Slughorn, Severus ignored the few magical cards he had received from some of his housemates and headed to the prefect bathroom with Lily and Remus� gifts. Having already received the password after swearing that he would never use it other than to meet Remus or Lily, or in case of emergency, the Slytherin let himself into the large bathroom.

Remus arrived shortly after, wearing a smile and a brown jumper that looked new. �Happy Christmas, Severus.�

�Likewise,� replied the raven-haired boy, looking over his friend. The new jumper, while not fancy or expensive looking, complimented the thin boy�s worn shoes and somewhat shabby corduroys. �Nice jumper.�

�Thank you, it�s from my dad�I guess he decided my old one was in need of replacement.�

�It was.� Severus smiled, remembering the other boy wearing an overly long and knobbly beige sweater the previous winter and wondering about it. Most of the other students did not notice, and those who did seemed to assume it was part of Muggle fashion. �Yet, you still wore it.�

The brown-eyed boy shrugged, �I was cold�and my mum made it before she passed away.�

The raven-haired teen nodded gently. He had once clung to any sign of fondness from his own mother, but had long since grown cold to any attempts she might make at a peace offering. While he would normally consider it pathetic for someone to continue holding onto such sentiments for so long, he found that it seemed fitting for Remus. In fact, he knew that he would be sad if his friend ever did attain his level of detachment. �At least the colour suited you�although I think one is still better there as well.�

The shorter teen shrugged again lightly, and Severus suddenly remembered that his friend probably had no idea what colour he was wearing. �It�s brown, by the way,� he explained, merely smirking at the fawn-haired boy�s look of surprise, �A rich, warm shade; like your eyes.�

The described eyes blinked uncertainly before Remus turned his head to glance at the mirror across the room with a puzzled expression, as though he were considering the taller boy�s words.

The raven-haired teen frowned at this reaction. �You didn�t know what colour your eyes are?�

The fawn-haired boy shrugged, looking somewhat nervous now, �It�s never come up that I can recall.� He looked down at his feet, before gaining a curious expression. A pale, scarred hand rose to grab a lock of his shoulder-length hair as he looked at it. Then, he glanced at Severus curiously.

A thin black eyebrow arched incredulously, �It�s a pale, golden brown�just a shade lighter than your pants. Does your father choose browns and earth tones for all your clothing intentionally or have you matched all these years by accident?� Severus had always assumed by the tattered state of Remus clothes, as well as how often he wore the same articles, that he simply had some that would all go together, as he could not afford more.

�He chooses clothes that will all mix well and stand to fading, since I don�t grow quickly enough to merit buying more that often,� replied the brown-eyed boy easily, now looking over Severus curiously. �What about your eyes and hair? They both look black to me.�

�They are,� Severus paused to consider his wardrobe, and realised that nearly everything he owned was either black or white. �Actually, everything on me is the colour you see, and probably always is.�

Remus smiled warmly, seeming surprisingly pleased by the statement. �Would you like to exchange gifts now?�

The raven-haired teen nodded with a grin and both boys sat down comfortably on the ground after casting a warming charm on it. While Severus was usually a little nervous about buying Lily presents, knowing that she and her other friends had more pocket money than he and never being positive about what she would like, he found that he had no such concerns with Remus. Aside from their similar financial situations, he knew that the shorter boy would like and appreciate his gift.

He was proved right when the fawn-haired teen�s eyes lit up after he unwrapped his used copy of A History of The Dark Arts: It�s Uses and Defences, which he had once commented that he wished was outside the restricted section of the Hogwarts library. That offhand remark had opened an entirely new avenue for discussions among the pair, as Severus had never before met anyone with his interests in the Dark Arts without either fear or anger, or a frightening malice, behind the intrigue.

After thanking Severus earnestly, Remus insisted that the taller boy open his gift next. The raven-haired teen first wore an ironic smirk when he realised that he too, had been given a used book, however, the smile quickly melted into an expression of pleasurable shock when he turned to book to read the title. One would have to spend weeks or even months browsing through used tomes in order to find an intact copy of The Creation and Theory of Archaic Potions, and clearly, Remus had. Most surprising to Severus was that he could only recall mentioning the book once while recommending a different method of brewing a potion they were going to make in class.

After Severus had managed to find his voice and offer a polite thank-you worthy of Remus, the brown-eyed boy joked good-naturedly about how they were both clearly geeks for getting so excited over receiving books. Then, they opened Lily�s gifts together, which turned out to be scarves that she had likely purchased at one of the craft shows she frequented with her mother and sister during the summer holidays. The obsidian-eyed boy quickly and casually informed his friend that the scarves, which matched, were of black and brown stripes.

The two boys sent Lily a quick letter, which Severus penned before they both signed, and then enjoyed the rest of the day. They shared the chocolates that Pettigrew have given Remus, read and shared information from their new books, and played a few rounds of wizard�s chess before taking an early lunch in the kitchens, having completely forgotten about breakfast earlier. Before leaving, Remus gave the house elves the box of Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans that Pettigrew had also given him. Severus could not help but laugh as the elves all squeaked and a few even cried in delight.

A walk through the grounds after lunch led to Severus partaking in several activities he had not participated in for years, such as a light snowball fight, building snowmen, and making snow angels. These activities left the thin teenagers frozen to the bone, so they retreated to the castle once again, making a quick stop in the kitchens for some hot cider along the way. The obsidian-eyed boy found himself chuckling again as they found the elves drinking butter beer and eating the jellybeans Remus had given them in a small celebration, which they enthusiastically encouraged the students to join.

Only a handful of students had stayed behind over the holidays, and none were in Severus and Remus� year, so none of them paid the boys any mind when they both sat at the otherwise empty Slytherin table for dinner. The professors on the other hand, did notice, although they clearly were trying to keep their shock, curiosity, and in some cases, pride hidden as they discreetly glanced at the pair from time to time. Dumbledore merely smiled at the boys with an odd sparkle in eyes, as though he knew a secret no one else did, before he wished all a happy Christmas and set off some streamers.

Lily�s owl dropped off a letter for the two boys after dinner, when they were back in the prefects bathroom reading. Assuming the green-eyed girl was just excited that her plot to make them friends had worked; Severus did not bother informing Remus that it was unusual for the redhead to sound so enthusiastic about receiving a simple letter, even on Christmas. Severus also did not mention that it was unusual for him to send a thank-you note, but he felt particularly grateful that day. The feeling lasted over the next few days of the break, most of which the two boys spent holed up somewhere reading, talking, and occasionally, playing.

With classes starting again, other students to contend with, and the otherwise return to normality in the school, the two friends were not able to spend as much time in each other�s company. In spite of this, they still spoke to each other daily and began studying together more often. Sometimes Lily would join them, and other times she would not or would leave before they parted company, however, this no longer mattered. The redhead, while still a good friend to both boys, had long since stopped being the catalyst to their growing relationship.

In fact, as the next few months passed, the two boys became increasingly closer. They studied together at least three nights a week during the weekdays and often spent all of Sunday together, holed up in an empty classroom or the library, talking, studying, and playing the occasional game of wizard�s chess or cards.

When Remus� illness acted up and left him weak for a few days at a time, which Severus discovered happened at least once a month, it became common for the obsidian-eyed teen to insist that his friend drink various tea blends that he designed in an attempt to treat some of his symptoms. This began after Severus found that his talent in blending potion ingredients also lent to healing herbs, once he read up on the subject. While the scarred teen still grew pale and weak, he seemed more at peace during this time, and so Severus guessed that the herbal blends were doing something. The raven-haired teen would have liked to try some potions, but the shorter boy refused to experiment with them, claiming he did not want to waste anything. It also became common for the obsidian-eyed teen to gently wake the brown-eyed boy and force him to call it a night after he fell asleep using one of his open textbooks as a pillow. Alternatively, when they were alone, Severus would often simply read quietly for a time as his sickly friend slept with his head rested against his shoulder or, on one occasion, his thigh.

The fawn-haired teen generally tried not to miss any more classes than Madam Pomfrey insisted he needed to in order to recover, even if it meant sitting through a class when he looked clearly too ill to be there. Aside from Severus and, on occasion, Potter, Lily, Black, or Pettigrew, no one seemed to notice, and Remus seemed determined to keep it that way.
Understanding the desire to hide any weakness from the masses, Severus generally made a copy of all his notes on the days that Remus was too ill to attend class, and would casually give them to the shorter boy while they studied together afterwards, always trying to undermine the fawn-haired teen�s gratitude. Severus found that he did enjoy his friend�s obvious appreciation of him, and also that he came to despise the scarred boy�s other friends all the more, as they clearly never stopped in their own activities to realise that schoolwork meant much more to their unobtrusive companion than it did to them. After all, with the grades they loved to boast about, it was obvious that they understood the work well enough to make a few notes for the ill teen.

Remus also helped Severus with his own work, and showed him that some of the classes he had considered mere necessity could be enjoyable and fascinating as well. The fawn-haired teen particularly assisted Severus in Care for Magical Creatures, which the raven-haired boy rarely fared well in but with which Remus seemed to flourish. The creatures they studied usually accepted the scarred boy, almost as though he was one of their own, even the darker or generally mistrustful ones. Sometimes, when the obsidian-eyed boy moved further away from the rest of the class to work, and Remus� friends were either trying to impress some girls or simply too focused on each other to notice, Remus would move to work closer to Severus in order to assist him with his specimen or simply allow then them to share his own.

As the weather warmed for spring, the two friends added a few spots on the castle grounds to their meeting and study locations. A spot near the lake was one of their favourites, as well as hidden clearing just inside the edge of the Forbidden Forest, which Remus had showed Severus after asking him to promise not to tell anyone else about it. It seemed that even the shorter boy�s other friends were not aware of this spot, and the raven-haired teen felt immensely pleased by the fact that Remus wanted to share his own secret hiding place with him alone.

The fact that Lily was spending less and less time in his company did bother him at times, but he realised that his feelings for her had been slightly misconstrued in the past, as she had been all he had for so long. Now that he was no longer focusing so intensively on one person with the addition of Remus to his life, Severus learned more about his own feelings, as well as what it meant to care about someone else. He was pleased that Lily had all the friends she needed, was generally happy, and that she obviously still cared about him�the fact that she still made time to see him and had made sure to introduce him to Remus before allowing herself to drift away from him was enough to prove that.

While focusing on his newfound friendship and the new understanding of his oldest one, Severus had not considered how his absence and lack of interest in his house companions might have affected their view upon him. However, he was pleasantly surprised to realise one day -while observing their behaviour in the common room he rarely inhabited- that his obviously growing distance with Lily and well as his new aloofness and indifferent demeanour toward his Slytherin associates, seemed to have earned him a new level of respect among his peers.

Overall, Severus felt that it was without a doubt his best year at Hogwarts thus far.
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