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Linger	By : starstruck86 Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Snape/Remus Views: 3932 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
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Chapter List
- 2
- 3
- 4
September 1982

�Are you mine?

Are you mine?

Because I stay here
all the time,

Watching telly,
drinking wine�� Who�d have known?�

�You
sounded so northern then,� Remus
burst out laughing, pocketing the change as they walked away from the newspaper
seller in Diagon Alley.

Severus
stared back at him. �I am northern,
idiot.�

�But you
don�t normally sound it; you�ve got this weird clipped posh sounding accent
normally. But when you get agitated you start dropping your vowels and adding �t� sounds to things.�

�At least I
don�t sound like some grotty little west country farmer,� Severus raised his
chin haughtily.

�You�d
enjoy the fresh air and rolling in the hay,� Remus teased, tucking the
newspaper under his arm �he�d finally cancelled the subscription to his flat
when he realised he could no longer afford to pay it.

They turned
off the main alley and walked down a cramped lane. It was a sunny Saturday
afternoon and it was still warm with leftover summer air. Remus was tired and a
scar on his back was twinging; the full moon had been
two nights previously and he was surprised he was up and walking around. But
then Severus was an astonishingly good healer and, after he�d cleaned up Remus�
bleeding body, he�d kissed him and held him and made the pain feel lesser in a
way that Sirius had never managed to achieve.

They
entered the small green gate-enclosed park at the end of the cobbles and
crossed through it, the trees providing ample shade.

�Changed my
mind,� Remus said abruptly, stopping and turning his face to Severus, who
looked exasperated. �Let�s go to yours.�

�For God�s
sake, Remus,� Severus said. �This is ridiculous. You might as well not pay the
bloody bills on it if you�re never going to be in it.�

Remus
didn�t hide his guilty eyes in time and Severus� flew wide. �That�s it, isn�t
it? You haven�t paid the��

�I know,�
Remus clenched, waiting for the onslaught of disapproval. �I know I should have
paid them but I can�t. I can�t use his money, Sev; it�s not my place to.�

�I don�t
know many things about Sirius Black, Remus, but come on; he�d want you to live
comfortably.�

Remus
defiantly shook his head and threw himself on the nearest bench, folding his
arms across his chest with the paper still underneath his armpit. He was
waiting for Severus to start shouting.

But Severus
wasn�t going to shout. He resignedly sat down on the bench next to Remus,
tugged the paper out from under his arm and flipped it open in silence. Severus
looked over the headlines and was immediately glad he�d taken the paper off his
friend. Lover?

The front
page piece was yet another about the increasing amount of prisoners in Azkaban
and the strengthened guard. Sirius� name leapt off the page at him below a
dejected picture. It was nearly a year on and the Ministry kept forcing these
stories through print, wanting to look strong. They were torturing Remus every
time they released the inked pages. Severus quickly folded it back up, as much
as for his own sake as Remus� �every time he saw Sirius� face he felt ill and
guilty.

It had been
June when he had finally caved in and submitted to Remus� ever persistent pleas
for sex. It had been a hot, balmy night and they�d both been a little bit
pissed on a very old bottle of wine Remus found over the back of the kitchen
cupboards. It wasn�t really the wine, though; it had been building steadily
since March. It hadn�t been terribly refined or sexy. In fact, as Severus
thought about it, it was more messy, desperate and fumbling than anything else.
But they�d made up for that since, so it didn�t matter.

Severus
couldn�t help the dirty smile that curved up his lips thinking on their
exploits. Remus was as rough as he was warm when it came to sex and Severus
willingly submitted into everything he wanted. I�d like to see anyone be bent over the kitchen table and not submit.
It wasn�t as though I had a choice. Oh, bollocks. In his underwear he was
reacting to the memory of his limbs being forced and the solid, pounding rhythm
behind him.

�Honestly,
Severus, in a park?� Remus couldn�t help but be amused.

Stupid bloody werewolf nose. Knowing Remus had smelt his
interest, Severus grumpily blushed. �I hate the fact that there�s absolutely no
privacy when it comes to you, Remus.�

Remus was
laughing and he tilted his head back, looking up at the blue sky. �You get used
to it.�

�I suppose
I will be getting used to it if
you�re going to be in my house all the time because you aren�t paying the bills
on your flat,� Severus looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

�I need to
eat, that�s more important than water and candles and stuff.�

�Especially
when you can use all that at mine,� Severus rolled his eyes. �Me with the not-so-free supply of water either. I honestly
don�t know why the Ministry just can�t pass the damn law to get us all off the
muggle pipes.�

�Because they�re
idiots,� Remus sighed, and leaned over to nudge against Severus with his
shoulder. �Come on. Can we go to yours?�

�I was
actually going to suggest going to lunch, if you don�t want to go to the flat,�
Severus played with the edge of the paper.

�I want to
go back to yours,� Remus said pointedly, giving a few bats of his eyelashes to
enhance the point, making Severus laugh.

�Well then
you can wait, can�t you?�

Remus
growled slightly. �No.�

�Look, you
seem to be under the impression that I like spending time in my house cooped
up. I don�t. I hate t�bloody place.�

�SEE! You
were talking about the house and you just said �t�bloody
place� sounding all northern when you were upset!� Remus laughed gleefully.

�Shut up,
Lupin,� Severus purposefully honed his accent into an upper class drawl.

�There�s my
sexy hard-arsed bastard,� Remus leant over and hissed in his ear. �Though I
have to say I think you�re sexier when you�re het up enough to use your real
accent.�

�Let�s go
to lunch,� Severus was painfully aware of every word he spoke and how it
sounded, Remus had really made him self-conscious.

They got up
and walked back the way they had come, and Severus noticed how Remus relaxed
the further they got away from his flat, located just off the little green park
in the heart of magical London.

�Where are
we eating?� He asked Remus as a means of further distraction.

�That
entirely depends on how much money I have left in my pocket,� Remus dug his
hand into his pocket for his change. �Hmm. Wherever will buy me food for this
hideously small amount, I suppose.�

�I�ll pay,�
Severus rolled his eyes.

�No you
won�t. Let�s go back to yours and I�ll make us food. For some reason I really,
really want beans on toast.�

�If I
didn�t know better I�d say you were pregnant,� Severus muttered.

�They�re working on it,� Remus smiled wryly, knowing that the subject of male
pregnancy was certain to get Severus foaming at the mouth and provide some
entertainment.

�Well, they�ll never bloody get anywhere so I don�t see why they�re wasting
Ministry funding when they could be putting it to better use!� Severus didn�t
disappoint him. He moved closer and whispered, �You know, like funding finding
a cure for lycanthropy.�

�They�ll
get men up the duff before they find that,� Remus rolled his eyes. �Tell me,
again, why you�re so opposed to the research?�

�It�s not
natural,� Severus said firmly, face reddening a little in his protest. �It�s
not! Men�s bodies aren�t equipped to deal with it and no matter what they say
the child will always be a high risk, even after it�s born. I really think it�s
the stupidest move since someone decided that smooth peanut butter was worth
our time and money.�

Remus was
laughing yet again. �And of course, everyone knows that smooth peanut butter is
an abomination unto wizardkind.�

�It is!
Useless �why would you not want chunky peanut butter?!� Severus let himself
grin as his eyes fell to the cobbles. �I suppose the reason male pregnancy
freaks me out so much is that it could mean I could have a child one day�
either myself or getting someone else pregnant. And you know that thought
terrifies me more than anything else.�

�You aren�t
your parents, Sev,� Remus said softly, though he knew there was no point. �You
wouldn�t necessarily make the same parenting mistakes as them if you were to
have your own child.�

�Oh, I�d
make such a good father,� Severus shot back sarcastically. �Here, child,
welcome into my house where I have poisons and sharp things and gay sex on the
kitchen table.�

The last
part was said louder than he had intended and a middle-aged witch overheard, gasped
in disgust and threw them both a filthy look. Remus couldn�t stop the giggles
which erupted out of his mouth and unusually, next to him, Severus was laughing
too, his hand girlishly positioned over his mouth, nose poking through his
fingers and as he tried to hide it.

This only
made Remus laugh harder and he stumbled into Severus slightly, his head tilted
backwards. Severus made him laugh so much, often without trying, and always
looked bemused at Remus� reaction.

�Stop,�
Severus sniffed, hand still covering his mouth as he sniggered. �You�re making
people stare.�

�Oh, let �em stare,� Remus threw caution to
the wind and laced his arm through Severus� as they walked.

�What the
hell do you think you�re doing?� Severus hissed with a laugh, turning his head.

�I�m
walking with you,� Remus stood up straight and sucked on his top lip, trying to
keep his face serious.

�Yes but
you�re hanging off the arm of a former Death Eater,� Severus whispered, eyes
alight with a strange gleam. �Don�t you worry about how that�ll make you look?�

People were
starting to turn away from the two laughing young men and Remus was able to
reply. �You�re hanging off the arm of a werewolf; don�t you worry how that�ll
make you look?�

They were
still walking side-by-side, arm-in-arm, heading nowhere in particular.

�Ah but,
you weren�t named and shamed in the paper,� Severus raised an eyebrow.

�Anyone that wants to know just has to check the registry,� Remus shrugged.
�It�s not going to stay secret forever, is it?�

�Suppose
not,� Severus sighed, and finally managed to pull his hand away from his face,
having regained control of it. �Come on. I�m taking you to the pub for lunch,
you crazy fleabag.�

�I do not
have fleas,� Remus dug his elbow into Severus� ribs.

***

�Say it
again,� Remus begged, tears of laughter pooling in the corners of his eyes.

�No,�
Severus shoved the key in his front door. �I�m not saying it again.�

�Please?�
Remus sniggered. �Because, honestly, it�s just so��

He was
forced to trail off when Severus grabbed his hand and slammed him up against
the inside of the front door, shutting it in the process whilst he trapped
Remus between his body and the wood. Hungrily he tilted his head and kissed
along the soft underside of Remus� jaw.

�Be quiet, wolfboy,� he grinned, then pushed back off the door and
stripped off his jacket, hanging it up before he made his way into the kitchen.

Remus
didn�t follow; he was too busy lamenting the loss of the soft lips on his skin
and the pressure on his groin. He stooped and picked up the paper Severus had
dropped by grabbing him and unfolded the front page. He swallowed seeing the
headline. Remus let his eyes sweep over the page and his stomach clenched when
he saw what seemed to be a new picture of Sirius, looking pale, dishevelled and
miserable behind bars. All traces of the humorous day he�d spent were gone as
Remus blindly stumbled for the nearest wall and leant against it. He heard the
wallpaper scratch as he slid down it to sit, his legs cramped uncomfortably,
gripping the paper tightly.

He looked
at the picture again and Sirius was staring dolefully back at him, black hair
messy and greasy, face showing a layer of grime even through the sepia toned
picture. It was nearly a year. The signs were beginning to show on his face. He
looked so defeated. Tears of pain sprung up in Remus� eyes as he read the
caption beneath the photograph. �Notorious
murderer Black, above, is guarded by the highest levels of security�. That
meant the dementors were outside his door day and night� Remus swallowed away
the bile which had risen in his throat.

Remus
positively hated himself. How could he have spent the morning laughing so
freely, teasing Severus so continuously and being as happy as he could manage
when his lover was stuck in prison, the very worst kind of prison, alone? He
swallowed away more of the sick in his throat, vainly trying to put off the
inevitable. He traced a finger lightly over the picture and bit back his sob;
he didn�t want to alert Severus to the fact that he was upset and suffering.

Severus. The name rose in his mind and Remus
exhaled slightly, finding comfort in the word. Severus was becoming so much of
an emotional crutch that Remus was scared of his feelings for him. Without him
Remus guessed he wouldn�t even be upright, maybe not even alive. He had never
said as much, but he thought the scared look in Severus� face every time they
kissed passionately meant that he already knew. And Severus was ridiculously intelligent;
of course he would have figured out that the emotional attachment growing
between them was growing stronger, day by day. Stronger� competing with Sirius.

At that
thought, Remus couldn�t hold on to the contents of his stomach any longer and
retched over the carpet, closing his eyes to the sight.

�Oh, for
Merlin�s sake, Remus,� Severus shouted from the kitchen. �I told you, go
outside for your hairba-� his voice cut off abruptly
when he saw the vomit.

Eyes still
closed, Remus heard feet on the carpet and a gentle sigh, followed by a
muttered spell. And then there were strong arms around his torso, the paper was
tugged from his still-clenched fist, and a hand rubbed soothingly through his
hair as his face was guided to a shoulder he knew well, by sight and scent. �It�s
alright,� Severus whispered. �I�ve got you.�

***

Remus was
dozing on the sofa when he came to, feeling warm. He opened his eyes and found
himself under a blanket, the sky was dark outside the drawn curtains and there
was the usual dim glow in Severus� living room. But Severus himself was not
there. Remus pushed the blanket off and got to his feet, noting his shoes and
jacket were missing and that Severus had obviously tucked him onto the sofa. He
couldn�t remember how that had come about, whether he�d passed out or fallen
asleep.

He peered
into the kitchen and found it empty, then started up the stairs quietly,
shivering lightly at the loss of warmth from the blanket. He rounded the
doorframe to Severus� bedroom where light was spilling onto the worn carpet.
The sight he saw made him smile. Severus was leant back on the headboard with
his legs out in front of him, surrounded by scrolls and pieces of parchment, a
book open in his lap and a glass of red wine in his hand. He looked up as Remus
stepped into the room.

�Oh you are alive, then,� he rolled his eyes and took a mouthful of wine.

�Don�t sound so disappointed,� Remus winked, and tilted his head to look
closely at the writing on the pieces of parchment. �What are you studying?�

�I�m not
studying, par se,� Severus rummaged around for a particular sheet and handed it
to Remus. �Well, nothing to do with teaching, anyway.�

Remus
looked at the paper and saw that it was a sheet of notes on healing potions and
creams. He turned it over and caught the phrases �bonds scratches better than
bites� and �werewolf spit damaging?�. �What is all this?�

Severus
looked at him and sighed. �I�m just doing some research is all.
I think I�d rather wizardkind found a cure for lycanthropy before they get men
pregnant. Just doing my bit.�

�But why?�
Remus frowned, and set the paper down on top of the others before hugging his
arms across his chest.

�Because you�re the perfect case study, Remus! And, if I can make any sense out of
all these notes and potions and make it even the tiniest better for you on the
full moon, then I�ll feel satisfied about how I spent the last four hours of my
life, won�t I?�

�Four
hours? I was asleep for four hours?�

�No, three
and a half� You spent the first half an hour blacked out. Then you started
snoring again and I knew you�d just gone to sleep.�

�And you�ve
been up here working all that time?� Remus frowned.

Severus set
down his wine glass and pulled out his wand, causing the papers to stack and
file themselves in a cardboard folder and shoot across the room to sit on the
dressing table, the book he�d been reading falling down with a thump on top of
it all. Then he dropped his wand and picked up his glass again, taking another
swig. He patted the bed next to him and Remus dropped onto it.

�Can�t
believe I wasted four hours of my time with you asleep,� Remus sulked, and
crawled to sit next to Severus. �Give me some of that.�

He tugged
the wine glass out of Severus� hand and took his own mouthful.

�I wish you
wouldn�t do that,� Severus reproved, taking the glass back. �You always spit on
the glass.�

�And you�re worried that werewolf spit is damaging?� Remus raised an eyebrow.

�No, I just prefer not to have spit in my wine,� Severus sighed.

�Sorry,�
Remus leant over and kissed him on the cheek. �You don�t seem to mind when I
spit on your-�

�Oh you�re
disgusting,� Severus couldn�t hide his grin. No, I certainly don�t mind you leaving spit on my dick but that�s
neither here nor there.

Remus was
laughing gently again. �Anyway, why are you locked up here like an old
spinster? Why didn�t you work in the living room?�

�Didn�t
want to disturb you,� Severus replied, and Remus instantly knew he wasn�t
getting the full story.

�What did I
do?� Remus sighed wearily. �I�m sorry, for whatever it was.�

�Well you
threw up on the Axminster runner, my mother would have had your guts for
garters for that,� Severus avoided answering.

�After my
amazing oesophageal gymnastics, what did I do?� Remus asked again, pointedly.

�You didn�t
do anything�� Severus tapped his index
finger on the glass rim. �But you were talking in your sleep.�

�What was I
saying?� Remus frowned.

Severus
paused and glanced at him. �You were dreaming about Sirius. You told him you
loved him.�

Remus
swallowed. �Well, that�s the truth.�

�I know,
but you were� enjoying yourself too much for me to want to stick around and
hear it,� Severus flushed a delicate shade of pink.

�Oh� I
see,� Remus silently took the wine glass back and drained it. It was beginning
to frustrate him that he apparently kept dreaming sexually about Sirius, but he
could never remember it when he awoke.

�Mmm,�
Severus took the glass back and got up off the bed. �Want your own glass to
spit in?�

�Think I
need it,� Remus said morosely, and got up as Severus reached his side of the
bed. �Sev, come here a sec��

Severus
walked closer with a questioning gaze, and Remus framed his thin face between
his hands.

�Thanks for
looking after me,� Remus murmured with apologetic eyes. �I�m sorry I�m such a��

�Handful?�
Severus smiled.

�Mess is
what I was going for,� Remus shook his head. He closed the gap between them. �I
won�t kiss you. Can�t imagine my sick smells all that good.�

�No, it
didn�t on the Axminster and nor does it now,� Severus laughed.

�Severus��
Remus� voice was barely a whisper.

�What?� a
crease appeared between his young lover�s eyes.

Remus lost
his bottle. He smiled and leant forward, placing a kiss where the crease was to
smooth it out of the skin and pulled back. �Nothing.
I�ve forgotten what I was going to say.�

�Couldn�t
have been important then,� Severus winked.

�No,� Remus
shook his head. �Come on. I need a toothbrush and a bottle of wine.�

�And some food. You wasted your lunch.�

�I�ll pay
you back for it,� Remus suddenly felt guilty that he�d thrown up the food
Severus had used his hard-earned money to pay for.

�Don�t be
ridiculous,� Severus snapped, and turned out of the bedroom.

Remus heard
him in the kitchen and sighed. What exactly had he been about to ask? He
couldn�t make the words form in his mind.

�Red or white?� The shout came up the stairs.

�Both,�
Remus answered, letting his face sink into his hands. It was going to be a long
night.

Two hours
later, Remus was feeling contentedly relaxed due to the wine.
He was back on the sofa looking at Severus in the armchair. He took a gulp of
wine and said, �Do you think they�ll ever let him out?�

Severus
looked up warily from where he was tracing his finger over the faded
upholstery. �I don�t know.�

�Do you
hope they won�t?� Remus let the wine flow through him.

�Remus, why are you asking me this?� Severus frowned.

�I don�t
know� I just. I�m always here. I like being here. I�m forever drinking your
wine and eating you out of house and home and it�s� just��

�Just what?� Severus� voice was stony, but only because he was afraid of what was
coming next.

�Are you mine?� Remus whispered, and although it was quiet Severus
had no trouble hearing the words �the only trouble he had was deciding how to
answer them.

Yes. No. Maybe.
No. You�re Sirius�. And I�m nobody�s. Remus was staring at him intently, waiting for an answer.
Under the strong gaze Severus felt himself flush. �I wouldn�t know.�

Remus
looked at him a moment longer and sighed. �I just� want some clarification. On what we�re doing here?� Remus patted the sofa cushion
next to him, not for one moment expecting Severus to get up and move next to
him, but that was what he did.

Severus
leant into him gently so their faces were together and their hair touched.
�Well. You�re here all the time, and you�re drinking my wine and eating my food
as you so rightly pointed out. But I�m not really sure what this is� what you
are?�

�I think
it�s called dating,� Remus cracked a grin. �You know the beginning of a
relationship where you get all nervous and such.�

�I know
what dating is,� Severus scowled. �But� this isn�t going to progress to a
relationship. It can�t.�

�Can�t it?�
Remus whispered.

�You are
bonded to someone else,� Severus took up Remus� hand in his own, the one with
the ring on the middle finger. �Someone else who is still
alive, Remus.�

�But for
how much longer?� Remus� eyes slid down to look at his lap. �He committed an
awful crime� he doesn�t� he doesn�t deserve freedom.�

Severus was
silent for a moment �Remus had never said that before. Up until that point he
had only ever expressed anger and disappointment, but never an outright
judgement on Sirius� actions or whether he thought the imprisonment was
justified.

�Do you
judge me for saying that?� Remus murmured.

�No, of course not,� Severus gripped his hand a little tighter. �I just� you�ve
not said it before and I didn�t realise that you felt that way.�

�He
murdered twelve people, Sev� how can I� how can I love a murderer?�

Severus
dropped his wine glass suddenly and the red liquid flew over them both. �Oh
shit!� he cursed and pulled out his wand, cleaning them both off.

So Remus
couldn�t love a murderer? There was the proof right there that they couldn�t
head into a relationship. Because Severus was a murderer as well, directly and
indirectly and was far more seriously connected to Remus� current predicament
than he could ever know.

�It�s me,
it�s what I said, wasn�t it, about loving a murderer?� Remus asked quickly.
�I�m sorry� I didn�t think of your past when I said that.�

�What makes
you think I�ve murdered anyone?� Severus got off the sofa, his voice an octave
higher than normal. Calm
down, Severus.

Remus gave
him a long, hard look and sighed. �Severus. You were a Death Eater. I know
that. And I can guess at the sort of responsibility that comes with that.�

�How does it make me different to Sirius?� Severus asked,
beginning to lose his tightly wound control. �How are we different?�

�You
switched to the right side,� Remus frowned and looked confused when Severus
laughed.

�It�s still
done though, my soul�s still ripped. I should be in Azkaban.�

�No,� Remus
was up off the sofa now too, coming nearer, but Severus shied out of reach of his hands. �No, Sev, don�t say that.�

�You don�t
know anything,� Severus said coldly.

�And that�s
the way it�ll stay,� Remus held his hands up in surrender. �Just don�t�don�t
talk about you going away. It hurts when you do that.�

�But I�m no
different to him,� Severus� voice was trembling.

Remus was
on him then, scooping him up into his arms and kissing him roughly. Severus
tried to pull away but found his face framed with a hand on each cheek,
gripping tightly as Remus� tongue massaged against his own.

�You are different because you, once again, have been here for me,� Remus
murmured simply. �You�ve picked up the pieces when he left.�

�And when he comes back I�ll be on the side again,� Severus whispered, voicing
for the first time his fear of Remus neglecting him should Sirius be released.
�I�m not stupid enough to believe you wouldn�t drop me at the first knock on
the front door, Remus.�

�Now, yes I
would.� Remus thought it best to be honest. �But in two, three years? Ten, twenty? I hope to God I�m not going to be stupid enough
to pine over him forever, Sev.�

�I just
have to be stupid enough to stick around and find out should be released.�

They had
reached an impasse which had them both hurting at the possibilities.

�You�re not
completely innocent here,� Remus said suddenly. �I know you�re still in love
with Lil-�

�Don�t say
her name, please,� Severus� eyes were on the carpet. �I�m well aware that I�m
not�I�m guilty of taking as much comfort in this as you are, Remus.�

�I remember
you once telling me that the human heart was big enough for more than one
emotion at a time,� Remus swallowed and tucked Severus� hair behind his ear.

�I spouted
some rubbish at sixteen,� Severus smiled without humour.

�But you were right,� Remus rubbed his thumb over the thin, wine stained lips.
They looked delicious in the dim light, just like the rest of Severus.
�Whatever this is� whatever we�re doing� it�s comforting the both of us. It�s
helping us breathe.�

�I�m afraid
we�ll get too� attached,� Severus drew his teeth over his bottom lip.

�We were
already attached,� Remus laughed gently. �Why deny it? Sev, I�m yours, if you
want me.�

�But only
until Sirius comes back?�

�He�s not
coming back any time soon.�

�Then are
you mine forever...?�

Remus couldn�t answer, he didn�t want to let go of the hope of Sirius one day
being released.

Severus
gave a low grumble and kissed Remus. He wasn�t asking for forever. He hoped Remus
knew that. He smoothed his fingers up over the werewolf�s back and massaged
over his shoulder blades, extracting a groan. He kissed again, sending his
tongue a little deeper, raking it over his teeth.

��Are you
mine?� Remus asked, as soon as Severus stopped
probing.

His breath
caught in his throat and Severus didn�t know to answer. He wanted to say yes
but it wasn�t the whole truth. He liked what they had together, liked how they
could draw comfort from one another but� the idea of belonging to another person made him feel slightly ill. And he had
only ever foreseen that he belonged to Lily. But she�s dead now. And she never loved you anyway. The harsh words
in his mind forced uncharacteristic tears to spring to his dark eyes and he
closed them immediately to shield himself from Remus. Dead. Gone. Buried. Rotting. No more likely to love you than she was when she
was alive. Remus was alive. Remus was holding him tightly in his arms. But
then he was just the substitute.

�Severus,�
Remus said softly, if possible moving even closer. He pressed a kiss to both
closed eyelids. �I�m not looking for forever. I just� I want to know that you
feel the same as I do at the moment.�

�Then for
now, I�m yours, Remus,� Severus said. It wasn�t a lie. Right now, without moving
the boundaries of reality, nothing would have been able to top the feeling of
intensity between them.

Remus
kissed him softly and Severus melted to his touch. He would submit tonight as
every other night. In his underwear his dick reacted accordingly to the fact
that Remus was bending him slightly backwards, dominating their kiss as he
supported Severus with his arm. Remus abandoned his lips and nibbled down the
side of his neck noisily.

�I hate how
you make me submit,� Severus heard himself blurt, and the beautiful nibbling on
his neck stopped.

�I make you submit?� Remus whispered in his
ear.

�I don�t
know how. You just do. I�m no sub,� Severus clung onto him tightly. �But for
you� I apparently am.�

�Can we
keep it that way?� Remus asked, pulling an earlobe between his teeth and
teasing it gently with his tongue.

Severus
gasped and pressed his hips forward, head tilting back. �Yes.�

�What do
you want?� Remus asked him breathily, dropping the earlobe and moving up to the
shell itself.

�You.�

�Hard? Fast?
Slow?� Remus tried again.

�Stupidly
slow,� Severus tried to breathe steadily through his nose as Remus kissed him,
but it was hard when he already felt like coming in his underwear.

�Where?�

�Anywhere,�
the desperation made his voice rise to the higher octave again, and Remus
chuckled. �I need you� now��

Severus
groaned as a hand clutched at his erection through his trousers that he hadn�t
expected.

�Yes, seems
like you do need me now,� Remus laughed, and pulled Severus properly upright.

His fingers
made quick work of unbuttoning the shirt Severus was wearing, and he pushed it
off his shoulders and let it fall. Remus� eyes hungrily took in the narrow
shoulders and skinny chest, barely muscled at all, yet
somehow still toned. He let his breath tickle over the hair smattered between
the two deep pink nipples and smiled.

Severus
just closed his eyes. He knew that undressing him was Remus� favourite game and
whilst he hated the scrutiny, Severus also knew it wasn�t worth the fight of
disrupting the process. He kept his eyes firmly closed as Remus released the
button on his jeans and shoved them down his thin hips, sending the plain black
underpants he was wearing down with them. He knew he was blushing as his
erection sprang free from the clothes.

�Merlin
you�re beautiful,� came the usual whisper, but Severus paid it no heed �he was
completely convinced Remus was lying.

A gentle
hand smoothed down his stomach and teased at his belly button for a while,
before trailing the line of dark hair that led from it to his groin, where
fingers sank into his pubic hair and massaged. The feeling was heavenly, and
Severus couldn�t help his little moan of pleasure.

�You�re so
beautiful,� Remus said again and moved closer, letting his arms encircle the
thin body once more, making it shiver. �Maybe the most beautiful person I�ve
ever seen in my life.�

Now Severus
knew Remus was lying. Who on earth would
call me beautiful after waking up next to Sirius �eat me� Black, naked, for
five years? Who? �Stop lying to me and just take
me, Remus, I haven�t got the patience for it.�

�You think
I�m lying?� Remus stepped away completely and Severus� eyes jolted open at the
cessation of contact. �You think I don�t think you�re beautiful?�

�Who would
find me beautiful?� Severus shot him a scowl. �Now please, you don�t have to
flatter me to sleep with me, I�m already willing, Remus� don�t make me wait.�
He put a hand on his erection and began to fist, even though it was sub-par
compared to the way Remus could handle him.

He found
himself being wrestled to the floor, hungry lips accosting his chest and
nipples as they went. Remus� breathing was coming in short, ragged bursts and
there was something in the way he grabbed Severus� hands and laced their
fingers together which told him Remus meant business.

�I�ve spent
all of my life believing I�m repulsive,� Remus hissed from his abdomen. �I�ve
never believed anyone could find me beautiful. I will not have you stand there
and tell me what I do or do not find
beautiful, Severus Snape�

The rush of
strength was doing wonders for Severus� erection. He pushed upwards with his
hips and remained demurely silent. Remus was kissing his chest.

�Everyone
is beautiful in their own way,� Remus told him quietly, moving up to his face.
�Open your eyes and look at me.�

Severus did
as he was asked without question. He blinked a few times before focussing on
the beautiful golden chocolate eyes. Remus looked back, placing his hand on
Severus� cheek, his thumb caressing over his lips in a delicious tickle.

�Has anyone
ever told you you�re beautiful before?�

Severus
thought about a sarcastic response but in the end just mutely shook his head as
colour flooded into his cheeks.

�Not even
your mother?� Remus smiled, eyes twinkling.

Severus
shook his head again. �Compliments were never very forthcoming.�

Remus
thought on that for a second before ducking his head down and joining them at
the lips. �My parents never told me after I was bitten, either.�

That
infuriated Severus and he couldn�t keep it out of his eyes. Remus was wonderful,
even if he did turn into a hairy, snarling beast once a month.

�Ah, see,
now you understand my frustration,� Remus smiled knowingly. �You don�t like
that they didn�t think I was beautiful�do you understand how I feel that way
about you not thinking you are?�

Severus
nodded instantly and closed his eyes, wrapping his arms around Remus� back
tightly, as if he could make up for the years of missing kind words. Remus smiled
at him again and kissed him.

�If this
goes nowhere I�m going to teach you how to appreciate yourself, at least,�
Remus sighed, and pulled upwards.

�I
appreciate the effort but really, you�ll be fighting a losing battle,� Severus�
words broke off into a giggle as Remus tickled his sides. �Stop!�
He laughed, writhing on the floor.

Remus
obeyed, but only so he could set his fingers to tickling something more in
need. Severus arched upwards off the carpet into the warm hand. Before he could
complain it was gone and was replaced by a hot, wet mouth, which washed over
the tip of his erection and instantly pulled it to full hardness.

�Reeeemus,� he breathed, half cooing the name. �God
that feels so good.�

Remus gave
the tip a swipe of his tongue before pulling back slightly. �Tastes
good too.�

He let his
fingers trail down and gingerly cup Severus� sac in their grip, before massing
slightly, rolling them through his digits like a stress relieving ball. Another
groan came out of Severus and he smiled before ducking his head again to kiss
up the shaft, which eagerly batted him in the nose as he did so.

�Impatient,� Remus scolded, and gave a slightly firmer squeeze with his
fingers, causing Severus to hiss. �And don�t go getting all snake talk on me,
it doesn�t work. Werewolf trumps snake.�

�Shut your
damn mouth and put your pretty tongue to use,� Severus growled and Remus� eyes
narrowed in calculation; he loved it when he could get Severus to speak like
that.

He gave a
gentle tug on the balls he was holding and wasn�t surprised when Severus jerked
upwards and hit him in the face with his erection. Remus retaliated by grabbing
the top with his lips again and swirling his tongue over the tip, forming a
tight cage with his stinging lips as he did so. Severus was moaning every so
often, hissing and whispering words which Remus longed to be able to decipher.
They spurred him to drop the balls and grab hold of the base of his erection,
slowly pumping as he upped the ante on his oral movements and took Severus a
little further into his mouth.

�Fuck,
Remus!� There was the first �fuck� of the night, which sounded so delicious
falling off his tongue in that upper-class drawl he had down to a tee. �Fuck
that feels so, so good.�

Remus
dragged his tongue over the tip and tasted salty liquid there with a smile. He
milked harder with his fist as he felt Severus� knees draw up around him and
widened his mouth to let more of the cock in as it was pushed up into his face.

�Urrrggh, suck,� Severus begged more than commanded.
�Please.�

Remus
didn�t need to be begged. He switched to sucking and slid his head up and down
the shaft, his mouth forming a firm circle as he slid over the glans, right to the very top, then slid back down again. He
ran his unoccupied hand up the underside of Severus� left thigh with teasing
slowness, pausing to run his fingers along the crease where thigh met calf, and
repeated the action when it earned him a groan and another begging plea for
more.

His jaw was
tired but he wanted to finish off his job. He slid forward a little further and
tilted his head back slightly so he could take as much as possible. Severus was
panting, hands grabbing unsuccessfully at the floorboards. Remus stopped
teasing his leg to reach out and grab Severus� hand and placed it into his own
hair. Long, thin fingers instantly gripped and held his head in place and
Remus� own erection, still trapped in his trousers, grew painful with want.

He razed
the flesh he could reach gently with his teeth, and Severus reacted as he�d
expected �by throwing his head back, his hips up, and crying out his orgasm.
Remus withdrew to the tip and gently sucked down the spurting come, tongue
lapping it from the sides as it ran over the soft skin. Severus was calling his
name, he knew, but blood was pounding in his ears and he could barely hear it.
He stayed between his thighs until each aftershock had faded and the salty
liquid stopped pouring into his mouth. He knew it was probably sick that he
missed it as soon as it was gone, but he didn�t care.

He finally
sat up, breath wheezing as he wiped his mouth. His own
cock was twitching in time to his heart beat and he wanted to come as quickly
as possible or he was going to get rougher, and it didn�t seem like the type of
evening for rough.

�Do you
want me to?� The end of Severus� question hung in the air.

�No, I want to be in you. On your hands and knees,� Remus tugged his shirt off
over his head and managed to shove down his trousers without undoing the
button, testament to just how thin he had gotten in nine months.

Severus
scrabbled clumsily on the floor in his haste to comply and laughed a little,
giddy whilst still coming down from the beautiful, hot orgasm Remus had just
gifted upon him. As he bared his back to the room he was aware of the sweat on
it tingling as it met the cool air. He settled himself onto his hands and knees
and merely waited. Remus was gagging for it, he could see that, and he knew it
wouldn�t be long before he was full to the brim.

�I�m going
to use the spell,� Remus whispered. �I�m too impatient.�

Severus
groaned as he instantly felt the spell inside him, stretching his muscles to
accommodate what was coming. He twitched forward as it brushed over his
prostate and groaned aloud when it did it a second time. It worked back and
forth, side to side, stretching him more completely than anyone had ever managed
before with fingers. Though, he loved having fingers inside of him, it made him
feel such a whore.

�Done?�
Remus asked, grabbing his hips and positioning himself against the entrance
which the spell had also oh-so-cleverly lubricated at the same time.

Severus
shoved back as his answer and heard Remus gasp as his foreskin was shoved back
slightly. He felt his hips be yanked backwards and then all of a sudden, there
was a familiar burn and then he was blissfully full, impaled on Remus.

�Oh God,�
Remus let his head fall down so he was looking at Severus� back. He dropped a
kiss on it before groaning out again. �You�re so� fucking� tight�� he
punctuated the words with his first internal thrusts and Severus swallowed.

�Faster,� he
breathed, eyes rolling back in his head as Remus pressed against the nerve
bundle in his back passage.

Remus
managed to steady into a rhythm but he was going too fast and too hard to last
a decent length of time. When Severus let out a sobbed version of his name it
was too much, and he dug his nails into the sallow skin he held as he slammed
home one last time before releasing his come into Severus. Sweat dripped down
into the small of his back and his ejaculation itself stung as it found nowhere
to go other than back down around his sensitive flesh.

�Fucking
tight as hell you are,� he grunted, flopping forward onto Severus� back,
burying his face in the skinny support structure on which he leaned.

He lifted
his hips back and pulled out, leaving Severus to twitch as the come ran down
the passage creating a strange sensation. �Clean me up you lazy sod,� Severus
muttered with a grin.

Remus
dragged his wand off the carpet and did as he was asked, on both of them,
before dropping down onto his back, still panting. Severus turned and settled
into his side and they both lay there, naked, coming down together.

Neither
could think of anything constructive so say so they fell into their own
thoughts. Remus was dizzy and thinking how different Severus was to Sirius.
Severus was submissive and sweet with it, but still sexy. Sirius was outlandish
and challenging, Remus always had to work hard when he slept with him. But, as
his breathing calmed to a normal pace, Remus began to hurt that inside he
couldn�t decide which of the two he preferred. Severus was thinking how utterly
amazing the whole thing had been, and how alive it had made him feel. And then,
as he caught sight of Remus� glowing eyes, he felt disgusted at himself. He
didn�t deserve to feel alive at all, not when he thought of the dead.

Troubled,
they held each other on the thinning carpet, ignoring the individual aches the
floor began to give them.
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Linger