A True Masquerade | By : ScatteredSalvation Category: HP Canon Characters paired with Original Characters > Het - Male/Female Views: 1782 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Harry Potter, nor do I make a profit from this. Any Original Characters are of my own creation. |
Recap: With slow movements, Eryss removed the black material from her body and I was gifted with evidence of the suspicions that ran through my mind. A baby, that didn't even look to be two years old, was cradled against the breast of my angel.
My brother's child.
A True Masquerade
Part Three
Eryss seemed just as uncomfortable as I was shocked. "Is…is there somewhere I can put her to rest while we talk?" Her voice was shaking and I realized I'd never seen her so vulnerable. Gulping and quickly nodding, I gestured to the door behind her. It was a simple room, but there was a bed where it…the baby could lay. She hoisted the child up, the tiny head peeking over her shoulder. Just as she entered the room those miniature eyes blinked open and those pudgy cheeks lifted. Sleepily, the little baby smiled at me before snuggling back into her mothers embrace.
I stood in silence when she disappeared. My mind was still trying to wrap around the fact that she had a baby. I still didn't let myself believe she was married to Regulus but I suppose the wailing bundle was proof enough. After minutes continued to tick by I was contemplating running. Running from this house and from the pain that I knew was coming after the numbness wore off. But the mere fact that I was able to see her, be near her, overrode my fleet response. I was gifted with the sight of her, baby free, as she came out of the room. She gently closed the door, trying to make as little noise as possible.
It was then that anger spilled into my mind. When her hesitant eyes met mine, I wondered what had happened to the strong, sensual woman I had fallen for. But even her possible trauma didn't stop the vile words from spilling from my mouth. "So what do you want with me? You've already been through this Black, haven't you?" I saw the flash of shame and horror in her eyes, and even though I wanted to stop spewing nonsense, I couldn't. "Didn't my brother take good care of you? He held you close, didn't he? Close enough to get you pregnant, at least. He always did fuck things up. Probably couldn't even please you properly. Then he ran off on you, lousy man you picked dear Eryss. I suppose considering the others you had to choose from, I don't blame you for picking the bottom of the barrel."
"Stop it Sirius!" Her voice broke on my name and everything I had thought to say was caught in my throat. The tears in her eyes broke the heart that I had thought was frozen solid. She was crying for my brother, for the man whose name I was running through the dirt. "Don't talk about Regulus that way, please. You don't…" She hadn't even defended herself, and for some reason it bothered me more than I wanted to admit. The drops were streaming down her face now and I realized I had never been able to even picture her crying. In a sick sense she looked even more beautiful with those glistening cheeks. "You don't understand what he did. He saved us."
I took a step away from her. I didn't know if I could hear her praise my brother. I didn't think I could hear her talking about another man in such a way. I knew I shouldn't have stayed but I didn't think it would be this hard. Plus I just had to see her.
"I found out I was pregnant with Lyra…" I turned to leave, I couldn't hear their story but she grabbed my arm. Stepping behind me, she held both of my arms and laid her head between my shoulder blades. I could feel her body trembling and I forced myself to stay still instead of embracing her. "I talked to Regulus…and I told him that I was telling our Lord. I wanted to be taken out of the fray, and I knew that Voldemort would be pleased to know that a pure blood child would be born with such a good lineage. So I bowed down to him and practically begged him to allow it." I could hear the fear in her voice, that the bastard had the power to kill her child. "He asked me who the father was but I couldn't bring Regulus into it if he didn't want it."
I fisted my hands at her words, holding my tongue along with my anger. How could my brother not want a family with her? How could he not want to hold and protect both this wondrous woman and her child?
"Just as the Dark Lord was going to curse me, Regulus stepped forward and bowed. Telling him that he was the father. Ranting and raving about how perfect our child would be. It's a child with both the blood of the Noble Black and the Dignified Valenti, there is no way it would not be a wonderful asset to your cause. Voldemort was so excited after Regulus' claim that he demanded we marry. The precious child can not be born out of wedlock or so he said.
"You must understand Sirius. I went to Regulus because I was giving birth to a Black. One look at my child once it was born and anyone would be able to tell its father was a Black. What do you think the Dark Lord would have done if he knew that it was the brother who fought so hard against him? Your brother knew it was his niece that I carried and he risked his life to save her. He gave up everything to protect the child of his big brother."
I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe. My child. Just in the other room, the little girl that I had silently wished was mine really was. The small person who had looked up at me with those tired eyes and sleepy smile was my baby.
"I think he died because of us. I woke up one night and found him sitting against the doorframe of Nessa's room watching her sleep. He looked so out of it and he just started talking. Talking about how her uncle was a coward and her father was the one who deserved to be beside her. I tried to get him to tell me what was going on, but he only kept talking about how much she looked like you and how it was unfair that you couldn't be with us…with her because of Voldemort. The next day he disappeared and I was told he died but not how or why. I've been living in horror since then, under a constant watch of the Death Eaters. Severus was on watch last night and I managed to get passed him. Well…we both know that Snape would never loose to me in a duel or be bested by me in anyway." It was left unsaid that there was more to the story of escape than that. Still in such a shock, I didn't even rise to the name of the sniveling snake I'd known in school.
I slowly pulled myself out of her loose grip and walked around her. I had to see her, wanted to see the face of my little girl. It never occurred to me that Eryss might have been lying. Never once did I doubt that she bore my child. "You called her Lyra and Nessa. What's her name?" I asked, feeling a sharp pain in my chest at the realization that I didn't know my own daughters name. Walking into the room in which my offspring slept, I sat in the chair near the bed.
"Her name is Lyra Nessa Black." It was a horrible reminder that she only received my last name because Eryss had married Regulus. "Lyra is the name of a constellation I believe, not exactly a star I suppose. It took a lot to refuse to name her after Bella but I don't think Lyra is too bad. Reg, Severus and I called her Nessa mostly. She seems to like it better too. I read somewhere that Nessa means pure in some languages." She had whispered the whole time, worried that talking any louder would wake the adorable miniature person sleeping in bed.
I wanted to reach out and wrap my arms around her but I was so confused and hurt. Letting my hand drop to the bed by her own smaller hand, I studied her sleeping face. "Why didn't you come to me? I would have… we could have protected the two of you."
I saw Eryss crouch down beside me out of the corner of my eye. She held no hesitation as she took my hand and placed it on our daughters. "I was guarded. He had me locked in his hideout. After I returned from that night with you the Dark Lord felt something was off with me. So he kept me close and watched over me. He had thought I was betraying them, that I had somehow been swayed that night to join your side. When he found out I was pregnant he chalked my odd behavior up to that but then I was carrying a priceless gem in his mind, so I was watched and protected." By the tone of her voice I knew that Voldemort's protection was nothing like my own would have been.
It was all so baffling and amazing at the same time. My eyes lowered from my child's face to our hands. Her smaller one covered and protect under her mothers and my own. For the first time I had truly wished this war had never happened, and finally understood the pains others were experiencing. I had missed the irreplaceable time of my first child's life. A new anger filled me, for myself, for Voldemort and even for Eryss. Sliding my hand from between the two most important females in my world, I stood and turned my back to them.
"Stay here. Don't leave and don't contact anyone." I had felt Eryss move to stand and I knew she'd take my abrupt change as a rejection. Yet I couldn't bring myself to force my anger at her away. She had allowed my infant daughter to be around such horrible wizards. She had put my little girl's life in danger. I had to leave. I had to get away from them before I hurt Eryss beyond repair. Hastily I walked from the room, I had to get away.
But I should have known, rejection or not, Eryss was a mother and she had blossomed into an ideal one. Rushing from the room, Eryss stood before the only exit of the home. Her eyes were narrowed on me and I could see that she was hiding behind her cocky mask. I knew that inside she was in so much pain and I had caused it. "Are you going to turn me in?" I was shocked by her question but I shouldn't have been. I had forgotten that the woman before me was a Death Eater. "Fine but don't do that to Nessa. Do you know what will happen if it's found out that I'm her mother and I'm charged? When this war is over she will be ridiculed for my past as his follower. I will take responsibility for my lack of strength in opposing him but I will not allow you to damn her for your spite toward me. She is your child Sirius."
I was dumbfounded at the thought. Was I spiteful toward the woman I had claimed to love? I knew I was irritated at her for not coming to me when she found out. I was mad at her for raising Lyra in that horrible place, but it was only a façade. It was a mask, a wall that allowed me to pretend I held no blame. It was only me trying to hide that I was so angry at myself for not being strong enough to protect them.
"Take her with you." Again, I was speechless by her words. "Tell them she's the result of one of your one night stands and that her mother is dead. Tell them that she's the product of an old girlfriend. Tell them anything, lie about me. Just take her with you. Take her where she will be safe and where people around her will love her. She's a good girl, Sirius. She won't cause you much trouble. Let her meet James and Lily, they'd adore her I promise. Just please…"
The illusion was cracking. I wasn't sure if it was the underline hurt of her thinking I was abandoning them or her fear for Lyra that was causing it but her false face was crumbling. Her narrowed eyes were softening, swelling with tears again and her lips were trembling with the wail of anguish I knew was building in her chest.
Quite suddenly all of the anger within me vanished. As if she had washed all of my negative emotions away, I was left with a raw need to comfort her. She flinched when I approached her and her body stiffened when I wrapped my arms around it. When she realized I still meant her no harm, she fell into my hold. Once again I was blessed with the feeling of being in the place I belonged. She still fit perfectly against my lean frame. All at once it was like she had never left, as if it was that night a year and a half ago all over again. Although the passion to be buried with her was still there, it was surrounded and subdued by the longing to keep her safe. To keep her and my daughter away from the evil that haunted them.
"I need you to stay here" I whispered, keeping her pinned against my chest. I wouldn't allow another misunderstanding take place. "For now the safest place for you two is right in this house. There are charms and protections all over it. I can't go waltzing into the Order with a recognizable Death Eater and a toddler." As I spoke my hand gently rubbed her back, trying to sooth her frazzled nerves. "A lot has happened lately…"
I didn't want to go into detail about Harry and the danger involving the Potter family. I instantly reminded myself that as much as I loved James like a brother and Harry like a nephew, this here was my family too. My daughter was in the other room and the love of my life was before me, even if she was my sister-in-law according to the ministry. They were both vulnerable and it was my duty to protect them just as much as I protected Harry. "I have to talk to Dumbledore…and James." She nodded against me and I knew she understood but it was going to be hell to leave now. At least before it was the unjustified anger that prompted me to storm out, now I just wanted to stay with them.
"Go and get some rest. There is food and such for you here. I'll be back soon."
It was the hardest few minutes of my life as I closed that door and Apparited directly to James' house. I needed my best mate more than ever. Knocking on the door at such a late hour was no doubt going to earn me an earful from Lily, but it was worth it.
Surprisingly James answered looking as if he'd been up all along. When he ushered me into the house without question I realized I must have looked a mess. He sat me on the couch and conjured up a cup of tea to help me calm my nerves.
"Sirius?"
I hadn't known I started to cry but the traitorous wet droplets were rolling down my cheeks. Burying my face into my hands was all I could do to suppress the sob that was caught in my throat. I'm not sure how long we sat there, my shaky breath the only sound throughout the room, before a sharp cry brought me back to reality. A tired Lily came down the steps, lightly bouncing a cranky Harry in her arms. She didn't even notice me when she walked to the kitchen for the infants' bottle, but when she returned, she froze upon seeing me, then silently walked over to me and sat beside me opposite of James.
Without a word, she transferred the happily drinking Harry into my arms. "James put Harry to bed when he's done. I'm going back to lie down." With a kiss to her sons head, her husband's lips and my cheek, the redhead made her way back up the steps.
My still slightly wet eyes connected with the small being in my arms. I had missed this. I hadn't been able to hold my child. I even regretted not being woken up numerous times in the night by the shrill cry of my baby. Without taking my eyes off of Harry, I addressed James.
"I need…" Taking a deep breath, I calmed myself enough to talk without allowing my voice to tremble. "I need you to come somewhere with me tomorrow. It may take some time. You think Lily will let you go for an hour or so?"
I felt James hand rest on my shoulder and the slight squeeze calmed me more than I thought was possible. "I'm sure I can get away. Though you'll have to offer up babysitting services to Lil's sometime in return."
I tried to manage a smile but as my mind whirled on all the things I wished I had been there for, it soon fell into a frown again. "I'll come by around nine. It's got to be early." My head bowed and I kissed the tiny babes forehead. "I can't leave them alone too long," I whispered and I wasn't sure if James had heard me. If he did, he didn't mention it.
After Harry had finished eating, James took the boy. "You can stay the night here. Your room is still there." I knew he was making a joke yet I still couldn't crack a grin. Lily had complained that their guestroom had turned into my room when they had first moved in.
"Nah, I'll see you in the morning. Thanks James." I heard the no problem he replied with as I left the house. Even as I walked home, I knew I wouldn't get a wink of sleep that night.
The night dragged on, quickly turning into the longest of my life. I was at James' house by eight-thirty and thankfully Lily was in a good mood. She was bustling around the house when I came in and she sent me a warm, welcoming smile even as she flicked her wand to clean. She pushed me into a seat by the table and began to feed me a filling breakfast. Just as I finished, James hopped down the steps, a giggling Harry held securely against his chest.
"Well, I already ate and Lily approved of your James-rental. So I'm ready when you are."
Normally I would have wanted to stay, delay by playing with Harry or making jokes with James, but my body was itching to get back to my small family. "Yeah. Let's go."
I hugged Lily and Harry then left the house, leaving James to give his family a heartwarming goodbye. It was moments later when James joined me, grinning like a fool. "I'll have to Side-apparite you to the location." Regrettably I saw the grin fall from his face as he nodded and grabbed hold of my arm.
The dense forest met us when I reopened my eyes. James was leaning against a tree, no doubt trying to settle his stomach. "I hate Appariting," he muttered miserably before turning to me. "You going to tell me what this is about now? Or is it a surprise?" His voice faded toward the end and I figured it was because he noticed my entire body was shaking like a leaf. "Sirius what is going on?"
Keeping my back to him and my eyes in the direction of the house I knew Eryss and Lyra were in, I took the first step. "Eryss." It was a whisper and I heard James breath hitch at the name. "It's…come see please. I need your help."
In silence we made our way toward the small cottage and when we made it onto the doorstep my hand froze on the knob. A happy laughter flowed from the other side of the thick wood; a laugh that one would know was the sound of child. Eryss hadn't noticed our arrival and I couldn't bring myself to open the door just yet. The sound on the other side was wondrous and made my heart ache painfully.
"She's mine," I said suddenly yet quietly, knowing James was right behind me and listening. "Reg disappeared and they don't have anywhere to go. I was hurt; you can imagine when I saw her at first. I mean…" I laughed but it was a bitter and self loathing sound. "She shows up with this beautiful little girl and I had thought it was Regulus' kid. It's not…she's mine." My head fell silently against the door, my hand laying flat on the hard surface beside it. "Eryss begged me to simply leave her and take Lyra with me. She wanted me to tell everyone that our child was the result of some meaningless one night stand. You have to see her James…she's so beautiful, they both are."
We both stood there, listening to the chattering of the small child in the house and her mothers gentle teasing. "What am I going to do?"
Eryss must have heard us moving outside because suddenly the inside of the cottage went deadly quiet. I was only thinking of relieving her worry, to prove it wasn't the enemy coming to get her, when I quickly opened the door. I didn't even get a chance to announce my arrival before her voice echoed in my ears.
"Petrificus Totalus," it was said so calmly that not even James had time to counter it, though it was quickly followed by a sound of dismay. "Sirius! Oh!" James had stopped my fall to the floor and I could hear her feet against the wood as she hurried over to my side. "Idiot! Why wouldn't you knock or announce yourself first! I could have seriously hurt you! Stupid!" She helped James lower me to the ground before tapping her wand to my forehead. "Finite."
I could still hear her mumbling about my stupidity when I notice the tiny head peeking out from the other room. My breath caught in my throat yet again as those pretty grayish-blue eyes peered at me curiously.
"Ma?" her tiny voice questioned and I noticed James' wide eyes staring in the same direction mine were.
"Oh Nessa." Eryss quickly turned toward her…our daughter and smiled gently. "It's alright you can come out. They aren't bad people." The little girl stumbled out of the room on her tiny legs and rushed to hide in her mothers' hair. "What are you being shy about? You were all excited to meet Sirius when I told you he'd be coming." It made my heart throb painfully at being addressed by my first name to my own daughter.
Lyra's small hands held the fabric of her mother's shirt like a lifeline. The girl's small eyes flicked from me to James and back again with her little mouth in a confused frown. Eryss carefully prided herself free from the miniature person and directed the girl into her lap. "Come now darling. Don't you remember what Reggy told you?"
My eyes snapped to Eryss when I realized that she didn't refer to Regulus as father to Lyra.
Lyra nodded and a grin, that James later said was a mirror image to my own, spread across her precious face. "Reggy says…" she paused as if trying to remember what my brother had told her. "AH! Ser-we-is mine!" My name sounded odd on her lips, but I found it incredibly adorable anyway.
Eryss was trying to hide the smile by lowering her head onto Lyra's but my attention was locked on the smaller girl. "Your what?" I could hear the smile in Eryss' voice, the joy at being in that old run down cottage with her daughter and me.
"Jus' mines," Lyra nodded matter-of-factly and crossed her hands over her chest in a typical Eryss fashion. She looked up, noticing her mother hiding. "Is okay Ma." Her small hand patted her mothers larger one and she smiled for her. "Reggy says Ser-we-is yous too." My daughter sent me another dazzling smile and I could help but return it. "I shares wit Ma."
I couldn't take my eyes off of them and I wanted to reach out and pull them both in my arms. "Prongs," I whined with a look of complete hopelessness.
"Pwongs!" Lyra clapped happily and bounced in her mothers hold. "Pad'oot 'nd 'Ooony!" She giggled happily and James mirrored my surprised expression. Lyra was looking at the both of us with wide, excited eyes and Eryss had to clue us in.
"No story right now dear," Eryss said and wrapped her arms around Lyra in a loose hug. "She liked the stories of the buck, dog and wolf the most. She's not fond of rats." Smiling sadly, she refused to meet my eyes. "Reg thought up the story idea, I hope you don't mind. He liked talking about all the nonsense you pulled in school…always talked about it as if he wished he had joined in with you."
James finally seemed to collect himself. "Geez this is a shock I wasn't really prepared for."
"Ser-we?" I don't know how she knew but my daughter was looking directly at me when she called my name. I had thought maybe Eryss described her to me, but in my heart I'd hoped she knew me by pure instincts. "Play?" Before I could answer, Lyra had crawled out of her mothers lap and grabbed my hand. Pulling me into the other room, I saw a small assortment of children toys. They were a random collection and at once I knew Eryss had grabbed them in a rush to leave. It furthered my worry on the state of things. Why had she felt the urge to run so suddenly?
For a little less than an hour I sat on the hard floor and played random games with my daughter for the first time. Her mindless chatter was rather endearing and I hadn't even thought of what James and Eryss might have been discussing in the other room. It was when Lyra quieted that I shuffled closer to the small girl wondering what was wrong. She had a small frown on her face and a sad look in her eyes that nearly broke my heart. Without a word she climbed into my lap and laid her head against my chest. I had never thought I could be so at peace, so happy and so accepting of such a small child.
Unconsciously my hand brushed her wavy black hair from her face as I held her close to me. "Ser-we?" Her small voice gripped at my heart and embedded herself into it. "Yous keep ta scawy man ways?" My hand stilled in the soft petting of her head at her words. "Reggy gones 'nd Rus." I could hear the sadness and the tears in her voice. "He hurts Ma." I felt her tiny body shake against my frame and my arms instinctively wrapped around her, pulling her into the warmest hug I could manage without squashing her. I didn't know who He was but I had my suspicions. And the thought of the Dark Lord anywhere near my daughter or her mother almost sent me over the edge.
Bowing my head, I buried my face into her soft locks. "I won't let anyone hurt you or your mother," I mumbled, hoping to reassure her. "Remember how you said I was yours and Moms?" Her small head nodded against me but I could still tell she was crying silently. "Well you are mine, just like your mother is too. I won't let allow anyone to take either of you away. Okay?"
Slowly pulling her away, I used the edge of my sleeve to dry her eyes and clean her nose. "No more tears okay?"
She looked up at me with red tinted eyes and leaned in. "Wanna knows secwet?" I nodded, happy that she was only sniffling now and no longer crying. "Reggy says yous my Da." I felt my heart stop at the slightly hopefully look on her face. "Better Da than 'im." Her newly grown teeth chewed on her lower lip and I could see the question in her eyes.
Leaning down I gave her a kiss on her forehead. "Want to know a secret I know?" She nodded slowly, her young mind forgetting the serious nature of our chat. "I am your Dad and I'm going to do everything I can to be the best one." Just as quickly as she started to cry, a grin stretched onto her lips and her small arms flew around my neck.
Her giggling was cut short when a shadow fell over the two of us. "Well looks like you two are getting along." Eryss had her hands on her hips and for a moment her blank look worried me, but Lyra squealed in delight and hid further into my hold. "Oh where, oh where is my little Nessa?" Eryss said dramatically and held her hands to her chest. "Sirius! Have you seen her? You must help me find her! I won't know what I'll do without her!"
Lyra's face quickly morphed into one of slight panic. "I h're Ma!" She jumped out of my lap and rushed into her mothers legs.
Eryss pulled her into a mock desperate hug. "Oh my darling!" As soon as her excitement came, it was gone and Lyra yawned, snuggling into the older woman's hold. "I think it is nap time." Lyra didn't answer, nearly asleep against her mothers' bosom. As she made her way to the bed, Eryss turned her heard to me and smiled. "James wanted to speak with you."
I turned to leave just as Eryss was putting Lyra into the soft covers. Hesitating, I quickly turned back to the two and walked over. I watched as Eryss tucked Lyra into the bed and without a thought in my head I leaned down and kissed the child on the forehead. "Night midget." Turning again, I leaned over and kissed the corner of Eryss' lips as if we had done this routine our entire lives. I froze as I was pulling away, the same questioning eyes as our daughter staring at me from her mother.
Slithering my hand to the back of her neck, I leaned in again and felt the softness of her lips against my own. It was just as wonderful as I remembered, if not better. Even when I released her, I didn't move away. "James…is waiting." I could feel the lightest touch of her lips as she spoke and it tempted me to dive in again to feel more of them.
"I know." I pecked her lips one last time before reluctantly letting her got and forcing my legs to take me out of the room.
I took a deep breath as I stepped from the room and came face to face with James. There was a grim frown on his face and a thoughtful look in his eyes. He noticed me immediately and gestured for me to sit beside him on the rather old couch. I wasn't going to be the one to break the wall of silence that surrounded us but James didn't mind being the hammer to demolish it.
"We have to get Lyra tested."
I shot to my feet, annoyed and oddly offended by my mates suggestion. "Eryss wouldn't lie to me!" I saw the slightly doubtful look on his face. "Not about this James. She wouldn't." I wanted to defend her further, set a firm foundation for my argument, yet I found I had none. Nothing but my just knowing she hadn't lied to me and that might cut it for James and my friends, but no one else would take my word for it.
"It's just to have the backup. I saw the girl Sirius." I heard the snort and saw the shake of his head. "If she isn't yours, you have a twin out there knocking dames up." I frowned, not liking the way he was referring to Eryss but letting it slide. "We can get Lily to do the test. We'd just need to allow her to run a quick spell over you, Eryss and Lyra. It won't hurt at all." He leaned back into the cushions and I fell back into the seat beside him.
"I'm worried about how she escaped," I mumbled, finally voicing my thoughts. "I mean, I hate Snape but he was a damn good duelist." I felt James shift beside me at the mention of his wife's old friend. "You don't think they let her go, just to chase her down or to lead her to us, do you?"
James shrugged and rolled his head on the back of the sofa. "It could be a possibility. Or she could be in on it."
I knew he was just pointing out another theory but I didn't want to believe it. "I have to believe her James," I whispered as my head tilted to the room Eryss was lying with our daughter. "If I don't I'll loose a part of myself."
As if answering my calls, the door to the other room opened. Eryss stumbled out, panting and, by the looks of it, in pain. James and I were to our feet before she uttered a word. Her hand shook as it closed the bedroom door then she leaned heavily on the wall behind her. I was about to ask her what was wrong when James' hand gripped my shoulder. A quickly flick of his eyes and I received his warning.
Eryss' hand was gripping her opposite forearm as pain flared through it. Gently shrugging James' hand off, I slowly made my over to her. Her eyes were squeezed shut and a thin sheen of sweat graced her brow. Whispering her name, I removed the vice grip her hand had and stepped closer to her. I felt her body shudder, no doubt from the burning of her mark.
To be continued...
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