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Take Me As I Am	By : KohakuShadow Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Snape Views: 7655 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any of its characters, nor am I making any money off of it. It's called FANfiction because I DON'T own it, right? Right. Good that we're clear.

Chapter List
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3.

"Admit it. I'm getting pretty good at this," Harry grinned as he skinned fresh gurdyroot for pickling. He'd been helping Snape with preparing potion ingredients in his spare time for weeks. He'd been a bit clumsy about it at first, but the more nights he spent leaning over a worktable next to the older man, the better he became at one of the subjects he'd dreaded in school. It was different now, though. Now he wasn't too busy trying to figure out what evil Severus was up to, and focusing on when to try and steal his next kiss.

"I will not," Severus answered, though his tone was amused. "You stroke your own ego well enough without my assistance."

"I stroke other things pretty well on my own too, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't enjoy it more if you did it for me," Harry quipped.

Severus colored a bit and coughed at the lewd joke. The mental image of Harry splayed naked on his bed begging to be touched planted itself firmly in his thoughts and sent sparks of excitement through his groin. It wasn't that he didn't want to – he wanted it badly, but he still couldn't help but hesitate. He had spent so much of his life hesitating. He hated that side of himself, the bad habit he had of always second-guessing himself. He knew he had to stop that, and he was going to stop it with Harry, but he was still having trouble making a move. It was easier to wait for Harry to seduce him, but after the night they spent snogging on his office floor it seemed as though, aside from kissing and the occasional dirty joke, Harry was waiting for him. Damn him! All of a sudden he'd developed patience! The first week, Severus had just waited for Harry to crack. He expected that the young man would eventually lose patience and try something again and when he didn't, Snape found himself terribly disappointed. Now he didn't know how to breach the subject of their sexual tension. It never felt like the right time. Every time he thought to try his luck, it didn't seem appropriate and he didn't think it would be well-received.

'I am not a coward,' Severus told himself firmly. He just happened to be incredibly nervous. He had never been good at interpersonal relations. When one spends his life with his head buried in a book, the little details about how to deal with people tend to slip under the radar. Now that he wanted to take Harry up on his frequent offers of something more he found himself struggling with how and when to proceed. He couldn't very well say 'put that pickled herb down and get in bed' even if most of the time it took all of his restraint to not bend Harry over the work table and shove said pickled herb up his beautiful arse and watch him writhe, so why couldn't he? What was stopping him from molesting a handsome young man who was obviously begging to be molested?

"Sickle for your thoughts?"

Severus snapped out of it. "My apologies, Harry. I was..."

"Trapped in the past again?" Harry offered.

Snape opened his mouth to deny it, but as he thought about it, Harry was exactly right. He shrugged a bit. "Old habits are harder to break than I anticipated." It had nothing to do with Lily or the remnants of feelings that would never completely die, even if he had finally buried them. It was about him, about the way he dealt with people, about his bad habit of pushing them away. He hadn't realized that this pussyfooting around what both he and Harry wanted was exactly that – a way to push the boy away so that Harry would give up on him before it all went to hell. Then he wouldn't have to take the blame for screwing it up when he inevitably did.

Well, that wasn't how it was going to go this time, he decided stubbornly. No more second guessing. He pulled the gurdyroot and knife out of Harry's hands and put them aside. They had all the time in the world for pickling gurdyroot, but if he didn't act on his impulses now he wasn't sure he ever would. He tilted Harry's chin up for a kiss, hoping that the young man would pick up on his intentions.

"Mmm. Severus..."

"We can finish this later," Snape told him. "I think there are...other matters...which we have put off long enough."

The words raced down Harry's spine and left a path of fire in their wake. "Oh for fuck's sake, yes," he exhaled, leaning into the older man's chest as Severus pulled him to his feet.

Snape tilted the young man's chin up into a soft kiss, then a firmer one, but after only a few moments of kisses than quickly became more passionate, the older man grabbed Harry's wrist a bit too roughly and pulled him through the office with a bat-like swish of his robes and a few flicks of his wand to reveal a narrow, hidden door between two bookshelves that led down a dark spiral of stairs. A warm glow cast upwards into the stairwell as they reached the bottom, and Harry found himself surrounded by a surprisingly cozy atmosphere.

Okay, so it was still a dungeon, but the hearth and some well-placed torches made the room glow. There was a large four-poster bed that had probably been there since long before Severus had taken the job as Potions Master, a pair of worn brown leather wing chairs by the fireplace, and a few carefully placed second-hand area rugs that, while aged, were still in good condition. A fluffy little calico Ragamuffin was got up from the one nearest the bed and stretched its back, strolling over to tangle around Snape's ankles and mew at him.

It was all very, well, 'homey' was the word that came most readily to mind. Warm – like the way the supposedly cold man made him feel. It was the side of Severus Snape that the man didn't allow others to see, and Harry was finally, finally getting a good look at it. It distracted him, if only for a moment, from the good look at other parts of the man that he desperately wanted as Severus sighed and lifted the feline to give it the attention it obviously wanted. The cat lifted its head to nuzzle at his chin.

Snape looked exasperated. He obviously loved the feline, but now was not the time he wanted to be dealing with a pet.

Harry laughed and scratched behind the cat's ear as he leaned up into the older man for another kiss. He opened his mouth to deepen it, but soon had to pull back, laughing. The cat was purring loudly, and the long fur was tickling his throat as it moved. "Do you have somewhere to...you know..." He nodded at the pet.

"I'll put her in the bathroom," Severus answered. He put the cat down and drew his wand, flicking a few toys into the restroom. That cat bounded after them and, with the appropriate degree of guilt, Severus flicked his wand to pull the door shut.

Before he could second-guess the situation again, Harry pulled him back down for another deep kiss. Severus returned it eagerly, curling his fingers through messy hair and sliding the other down Harry's back until it was cupping the young man's rear. The cat, for now, was completely forgotten. His lips dragged from Harry's lips down along his jaw and Harry's robes were on the floor by the time Severus made it to his throat. They had waited too long. Now that it was really happening, it was easy to get swept away by the moment.

Harry moaned and lifted his arms to help Snape get him out of his t-shirt. The older man was working on his jeans before the shirt had even hit the floor. Harry cupped Snape's cheeks and kissed him greedily, wiggling his hips to help Severus get him out of them. It was wonderful to experience Snape so overcome by passion, to know that he had not been the only one barely holding his desires at bay as he began fumbling with the buttons that kept Snape ensconced from neck to toe in those sweeping black robes he always wore. 'My suave, mysterious older man,' Harry thought, smirking into the kiss as he lost his balance and was pushed back against the bed.

He laughed up at the rumpled older man and kicked his legs until his jeans disentangled themselves from his ankles and fell to the ground. He wasted no time in pulling his boxers off as well, casting them aside as Severus made much quicker work than he could of the buttons on his black robes. The sweeping cloak fell aside, and the tunic underneath followed quickly.

Harry sat up and pulled Snape forward by the waist of his trousers before the older man could toss them aside as well. "Gotta let me have some fun, too," he said, unfastening the button and slipping his fingers down the zipper.

Severus smirked. "You seemed to be having enough of that to begin with."

"Well, I have no complaints," Harry admitted as he pulled the older man's pants down past his thighs.

Snape rested a hand on his shoulder so he wouldn't lose balance as he stepped out of them, but Harry barely noticed – he was too busy ogling the silky black briefs and the prominent evidence of Snape's excitement pressing against them.

Severus tilted his chin up. "Still with me, Harry?"

"More than you know," Harry exhaled, tugging the last garment down and watching the older man's burgeoning erection burst forth. He stared. He couldn't help himself – the contrast of dark hair and pale skin, plus the generous erection bursting forth from the nest of black curls that danced up towards his navel, had Harry utterly enchanted. "God, you're gorgeous."

"Lies," Severus answered as he leaned over the boy on the bed and kissed him softly.

"Mm. Not lies. You're gorgeous to me," Harry answered.

Severus rolled his eyes as he pressed Harry down against the mattress. "The only opinion that matters, hm?"

"Obviously," Harry grinned, stealing one of the older man's favorite words as Severus nipped at his throat and raking his fingers through the long hair that fell forward to tickle his collarbone. He moaned appreciatively and slid further onto the bed and parted his thighs to make them both more comfortable.

Severus didn't hesitate to slither up the mattress between those sinful thighs and slide his hips into the gap Harry had made for him, pressing their turgid shafts together and feeling years of tension melt away as the pleasure sparked up his spine. His lips parted as he exhaled softly. Wonderful – and soon to be so much better.

Harry curled his arms around the older man's shoulders and bit his lip. Wow. Just, wow. If a sigh was that alluring, he couldn't wait to hear a moan. The best part was that the sigh wasn't the best part at all – it was the older man's bare flesh against his own, the slide of hard flesh against his own hard flesh, the lust apparent in Snape's bottomless black eyes. He rocked his hips up in counterpoint to Snape's. 'Can't have you getting too comfortable,' Harry thought with a smirk. "Gonna stare all night?" he quipped.

"Perhaps," Severus answered with a barely audible chuckle. "It is quite a view."

"View gets better down south," Harry retorted.

"Does it? Then I may need to take a closer look," Severus replied as his lips ghosted over Harry's throat and his hips rocked forward firmly.

Harry moaned at the shocks of pleasure. He writhed as he felt Severus's ghostly kisses working their way further down his body – across his shoulder, over his chest, against his sternum. Once there, Snape's tongue slipped out to graze the flesh.

Harry bucked, crying out. It was such a small touch, but so overwhelming. The tongue traced down his abs and dipped into his navel. He panted, but gave Snape's hair a tug to stop him from continuing his journey. He tossed his head back and forth. "Don't," he rasped. "I won't last," he admitted. "Can we just...you know..." He hated begging, but he was afraid that if they didn't do it now, then he would embarrass himself. More than that, he might have to wait days, or weeks, or even months before he got another chance.

"Impatient, aren't you?"

"Oh, I think I've been patient enough," Harry answered, pulling Snape back up to him for another kiss. He let himself melt into it and felt the older man do the same, resting his elbow beside Harry's head to maintain his balance as his other hand slid up and down the younger man's ribs and outer thigh.

"Patience is not a particularly Gryffindor virtue, and certainly not one I would ever have attributed to you, Harry," Severus purred against his lips.

"Shows how much you know," Harry answered. "I didn't masturbate my entire sixth year as much as I have since you fell asleep on my armchair. I even have a favorite dildo. A favorite." Which, of course, implied he had several and had used them often enough to form a preference; Severus found that incredibly sexy. "...and it's all your fault," Harry finished before stealing another deep kiss.

"Then I suppose I won't have to worry about hurting you," Severus teased, nipping at Harry's throat again.

"Or stretching me, either. I got myself off right before I came by – thought it might curb the urges a little."

Snape's cock twitched. "Apparently, your efforts were for naught."

Harry nipped at the older man's jaw. "Always are," he purred. "But it was worth a shot."

"A convenient excuse," Severus answered between kisses.

"Convenient excuses are the best kind," Harry returned. "How many more do I need to give you before you take what I've been trying to give you for weeks?"

"Now is no time for excuses," Severus answered as he reached into the nightstand for a bottle of lubricating potion. 'No more excuses,' he reminded himself. Foreplay was fun, of course, but he knew he was only dawdling because part of him hoped something would interrupt them before there was no turning back. He'd already decided not to second guess this thing with Harry, but deciding not to do it and not doing it were two very different things.

He sat back on his knees and opened the basin, coating his erection quickly, but thoroughly.

Harry stared for a moment, rapt by the view, before taking his cue to adjust on the bed. He twisted his torso about and settled back against the fluffy pillows. When Severus cast the jar aside and started toward him again, Harry smirked what he sincerely hoped was a sexy smirk and lifted his legs up toward his chest.

Severus needed no further invitation. He slipped against the delectable young man until Harry's knees fell over his shoulders and pressed another hungry kiss to the Gryffindor's swollen lips as he positioned himself. Harry wasn't kidding about his sexual habits – his hot passage offered no resistance and Snape slid into the suctioning heat in one smooth stroke. He couldn't hold in the deep moan. If he didn't let it out, he was sure he would implode.

Harry answered with a moan of his own, his head falling back to expose the long column of his throat and his lips parting softly. His back arched. His fingertips pawed at Snape's shoulders. It was only the beginning, and yet, it was the culmination of so much desire that what little control they retained over the situation evaporated almost instantly. Severus jerked his hips. Harry arched and rocked as much as his current position would allow. They groped blindly, flesh to flesh, lips crashing together sloppily as one instant bled into the next.

It wasn't the sex of tv dramas – it was messy, ravenous, and abrupt. They were crying out in orgasm far more quickly than they should be comfortable admitting to, but it didn't matter. As their screams bounced off the walls and their release spewed hot and sticky between them, a little voice in the back of Harry's mind informed him that from here on, there would be plenty of chances to get it right – sappy dialogue, pointless promises and all.

Severus groaned as he slipped out of the younger man and fell back against the mattress. Amazing. Brief, he realized as his gaze fell on the clock, but no less incredible for its brevity. He took a few deep breaths to reestablish his equilibrium.

Beside him, Harry did the same. His spine felt like gelatin and his pulse thundered in his ears. "Wow."

Severus smirked. "As always, you have managed to forsake the English language entirely in your description of recent events," he snarked.

Harry grinned. Only Snape could be so verbose after such mind blowing sex. He rolled over and curled into the older man's side, taking it as a very good sign when Severus lowered his arm from above his head to curl around his young lover's shoulders. "Well, then what's the smarty pants way of saying 'that was bloody brilliant'?"

Severus answered by grudgingly lifting his torso and turning onto his side to face the younger man, tilting his chin up, and giving him a lingering kiss. At the same instant, a whiny meow issued from the bathroom.

Harry laughed. "You're right. I like the way you describe it better."

Severus rolled his eyes and reached past Harry to flick his wand and let the cat out of the bathroom. It bounded out and leapt up on the bed, walking across the pillows to try and get in on the cuddling.

"Some things are best left unsaid," Severus replied, grudgingly removing himself from Harry's side just long enough to grab the blanket from the foot of the bed and pull it over them. He pulled Harry back against his side as the cat started to knead at the blanket and curl up against his stomach.

Harry chuckled, reaching out to pet the needy feline as he, too, nuzzled against Snape. Severus was right, he figured. Some things were better left alone. He always felt compelled to talk about everything, to get it all out in the open air, but there were things he didn't want to know, things he was afraid to change. The Death Eaters, his childhood, James and Lily – if he forced or tricked Snape to talk about the things that haunted him when he was obviously trying to bury them once and for all, it would change things between them. There would be tension, and arguments, and really, there wasn't much point in digging up a past that his lover wanted to wash his hands of.

He knew Severus was never going to be the kind of man to tell him everything. He also knew that he'd never be able to provide the older man with long, drawn out discussions about potions and complex magical spells. What their budding relationship lacked was a non-issue. They had all of the important things – passion, affection, friendship, and most of all, a very clear understanding that what each offered the other was an entire package, starting with the good, ending with the bad, and encompassing everything that came between the two. It was a life that they could build together, a chance to finally let bygones be bygones and get something right. It was the future, one that they would build together, and, Harry figured Severus was right: "wow" didn't even begin to cover that, but it was still a good place to start.

The End
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Take Me As I Am