Tell Me It\'s Over | By : KohakuShadow Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male Views: 3082 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry potter, nor am I making any money off of it. If I did, it would be gayer. Gay gay gay gay gay. :) |
III.
Harry woke in a cold sweat. Again. 'Look at me!' When he dreamed about the last words Severus Snape spoke to him, his throat constricted, his chest ached, and he forgot how to breathe. He dropped his head in his hands and shivered. The way Snape's dark eyes bored into his own had left Harry feeling like an arse. How could he have ever, even for a moment, thought that Severus had betrayed Dumbledore? Had betrayed him? He wasn't that kind of man.
"I know what kind of person you are. I've always known, deep down," he whispered, turning to clutch his estranged lover's bony hand gently. Snape looked so thin and fragile, like he might fade to dust at any moment. "How could I ever have doubted you?"
He bowed his head and listened to the beeping of the machines attached to his beloved. He was terrified that any time now he might hear them bottom out, and that the flatline might haunt him for all eternity, but he hadn't given up hope. He couldn't. Severus wasn't the only one that Nagini's venom was killing. Every day that passed, Harry felt like he had died just a little more, from the waiting.
"He's very lucky to have such a dedicated son," the nurse said, startling Harry out of his thoughts.
"I...yeah..." Harry stuttered. "I just..." but he couldn't finish the sentence and she gave him this knowing smile like she understood exactly what it was like to sit vigil at the death bed of a loved one.
Son. Well, he'd had to tell them something so they would let him stay. It was a muggle hospital, after all. He'd tried Saint Mungo's first, but they were overwhelmed with injured from the war, and he'd been told, in no uncertain terms – though as gently as possible – that there wasn't a spell or potion in the Wizarding World that could save Severus now. Harry couldn't let him go so easily. He had to try something, so he did the only thing he could think of and carried his bloodied body through the rain to the muggle's Emergency ward. Muggle medicine was inferior in every way to wizarding medicine, but it was also his only hope. Muggles didn't know magic, but they knew disease. They knew suffering just the same as anyone. And they were less traditional than wizards and witches, more willing to try something new if the old things weren't working. As best he knew, no one had ever tried to use muggle medicine on a wizard. He'd thought there might be something that a muggle would see that a wizard would never notice.
They'd carted Snape off for test after test. Harry hovered and paced. He wanted to believe whatever they were doing was helping even if he had no idea what they were actually doing, because it had been two months and he could still hear that little beep-beep of the heart monitor.
The nurse checked Snape's vital signs, shot him full of something that Harry couldn't even begin to guess at, checked his bandages and decided to leave them off so the anry wound on his neck could 'get some air'. She told Harry if they started bleeding again to put a fresh bandage on and left one on the bedside table.
Harry peered at the wounds. They were healing, finally, but he could tell not quickly enough to satisfy the muggle doctors. He caressed Snape's cheek when they were alone again and really tried to take an honest look at the man – one that wasn't blinded by hope or by worry. His hair was greasier than usual from the fact he hadn't been properly bathed in ages. A sponge bath now and again was no substitute for a proper shower. He was all skin and bones – more than usual, and his cheeks looked sunken. His skin had a sickly, yellowish hue to it.
He leaned down and kissed his forehead. "Don't you dare leave me," he said. "What would be the point of living in a world that doesn't have you in it?"
Harry stared at his beloved for a long time, as if sheer willpower could bring him back from the brink of death, but nothing changed. Harry choked on a strangled sob, trying to will himself not to give up, but four months was a long time to watch a man die without starting to lose hope.
"Look at me, dammit!" he cried. "Just look at me. Please, Severus. Look at me..."
But Severus Snape never opened his eyes.
to be continued...
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