Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

By The Light	By : lycanthrope Category: Harry Potter > FemSlash - Female/Female Views: 17685 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: All of the characters portrayed in this fic (apart from Jamie.) and all other creations existing within the world Of Harry Potter are the creative genius of J.K Rowling, I make no profit from the writing or posting of this fan fiction.

Chapter List
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Chapter 3

I sat at my desk for a long time that day. Watching the thick, black ink slowly, slither down the stone wall and finally dry. The minuets bleeding into hours, time passing unhindered, unnoticed and even as the sun began to set over the horizon, still I had yet to move. I was sitting and pondering on my life, my two worlds, lives apart, both existing in secret from the other. It would have been so unbelievably easy to slip back into my old ways. Stand behind the lime light, warping it to my own design, still remaining just out of sight.

Even though I knew how easy it would be, to once more feed the roots I had laid in my formative years at the school I found myself faltering. Hermione had shown me more than her body, more than her comforting touch in the time we had spent together. She's let me glimpse at her way of life. Even though the blood flowing through her veins is not by any stretch as pure as mine, I discovered that I was in no way better than her. She is brighter, quicker and has a thirst for knowledge like no other. She is alive and free, uncaring of how pure the blood running through you happens to be and to some extent - as I have proven - even what house you're in. Only ever judging a person on what she sees them do.

In spite of this I sat there unmoving, barely breathing trying in vain to convince myself of her inferiority. Her birthright earning her a much lower status than my own. Each time I started to persuade myself I'd see her eyes. Her beautiful brown eyes, always observing, always alive in some way. Something I find hard to distinguish in my own hard, cold blue ones. Even though I knew I had lost her touch I could not think less of her. Regardless of how much I tried.

The days that followed felt grey and heavy, without her light within them. I couldn't bring myself to influence anyone around me, for any purpose. I'm in love with a muggle born witch and I no longer have any desire to heighten my standings around those that would condemn her. It was much easier than I thought it would be to quietly extract myself from the group I had initially sought out.

As the days began to slowly melt into weeks I spent much more time in the solitude of my room. Not one soul came to visit, not one passing curiosity as to my well being. This cemented my decision to remove myself from the dark wizard community as effectively and quietly as possible.

Something that I have also discovered in the weeks that have passed is a term I had read much about but knew little of until now. 'Heartache' is a very appropriately named affliction. Though I know I should forget, should let go of my emotions. The weight I find laid out on my chest can become unbearable. I can glimpse her, just for a moment, nothing more than a flick of her untameable brown locks and if unprepared it feels like the wind has been knocked clean out of me. Stopping me in my tracks and disorganizing my thoughts. No physical pain I have felt before can compare to what my mind and body can do to me in these moments.

Due to this I adopted my uncanny ability to avoid those around me, where appropriate. Completely denying the existence of the north Gryffindor tower, taking to eating, if ever either long before or after my fellow students and removing myself from bubbling school society as much as possible without arousing suspicion. It's a solitary existence, which only makes the deep throbbing of loneliness in my chest all the worse.

Quidditch has served as my only acceptable escape. Neither of my two secret worlds exists atop that broom. I've taken to practising at every spare moment, even flying solo if the situation dictates. Just me and the wind. Losing myself in the feeling.

Today, unfortunately that is not possible. Another team is practising out on the pitch in all of my free lessons and they would not be grateful of an intrusion from a Slytherin chaser. So I resign myself to my midday meal, admittedly the hardest throughout the day to avoid my classmates. Today being no exception. The Great Hall is alive with conversation and the clatter of cutlery and even as I enter the cavernous room, carefully training my eyes away from the Gryffindor table I know it will be difficult to remove myself from the bustling life of the student body.

I slowly make my way along the outer wall along the Slytherin table, a lone book clasped tightly under my arm and find an empty seat. As I sit in place, placing my bag between my feet, and begin to load my plate with more food than I can possibly consume. Once I am happy that I will not need to engage any further with the table regardless of my apatite I open my book and try in vain to lose myself in its contents.

I swiftly find myself with my forehead clasped tightly between my thumb and forefingers, reading the same sentence before me, more than once against the hustle of the great hall at this time of day. I am knocked from the side as one boy is over zealous with his meal and have to clench my jaw tightly, to keep from reacting to the interruption and begin to read the sentence anew for the third time.

I have barely finished the paragraph before movement on the opposite side of the table has caught my attention. Three of my classmates quickly load their plates with utensils and scamper away, they are almost instantly replaced by three of the boys I have been avoiding contact with for weeks. Draco Malfoy, Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle.

I have to resist the urge to sigh as Draco begins to speak. "Desay." My eyes rise above the rim of my book and I have to consciously keep the venom out of my gaze and he falls onto his old habit of addressing everyone by only their last name. Conveying his lack of respect for anyone with a single word.

I allow my eyes to rest on him for a moment and quickly return them to the words in front of me. "Draco." I greet polity turning the page even though I have no further interest in the contents of the book. This is the first time Draco has sought me out since I started to distance myself from his network of connections. I'm more than a little uneasy as to his motive. If he were to find out about Hermione and me it would only be a matter of time before word spread to my father. That is an eventuality I don't even want to imagine.

"Haven't really been seeing a lot of you lately."

My grip tightens slightly on the hard backed book. I had really hoped he hadn't noticed. I keep my voice neutral and I still glare at the pages. Wondering why it could not protect me from this conversation. "I've been busy."

"I'm not surprised." My gaze shoots to him, by the sons of Zeus, what is he talking about? He appears to oversee my nervous response to his comment as he continues. "Snape's been working everyone like dogs, even us." He rests his hands on the table and leans forward and continues in a whisper "Have you finished that essay on 'soul sand' yet?"

Thank the gods for small mercy's. "Sure I have." In truth with all of my solitude, school work has been all I have had to pass the time. I don't think I currently have anything outstanding which is a sobering thought as I have no idea what I am going to have to occupy my mind tonight. Still I continue to speak in an easy manner, closing on book on the table to give Draco my attention. "Father has been badgering me to study harder at potions. Hasn't left me much free time." The sentence carefully designed to reinforce his assumption.

I watch as a multitude of unidentifiable emotions flash across his face. He sits for a moment in silence and I meet his cold grey stare for each and every second of it. To look away now would give away my less than truthful answers easily in my body language. Finally he takes a breath and breaks his stoic pose. "Can I borrow it?"

I laugh slightly to cover up my relieved sigh. "Sure. But if you're going to copy it Draco can you at least try not to do it word for word this time?"

He laughs out loud, effectively dispelling the tension around us. "It's a deal." He continues to smirk as he leans heavily on his elbow over the table. "Listen, the boys and I are thinking about taking a little field trip tonight. You know after dark. Thought you might like to come along."

"You mean after hours." Automatically I know I don't want to be involved. "I don't know Draco. I've got a lot I need to catch up on." I say pushing a fork full of potato between my teeth looking thoughtful.

"I remember a time when you would jump at a chance like this." I'm not sure if the smile on his face is deceiving or not but I can see his eyes twinkling with something. Something I just can't quite place.

I drop my fork back to my plate and swallow before answering. "That was before my grades started to slip." I drop my gaze to my plate and push the food around with my fork to avoid his gaze.

Still he continues to push. "I would consider it to be a personal favour to me, if you were to accompany us tonight."

I feel my eyes close in defeat. Damn him. If I refuse now my father will hear for certain and he will know immediately something is wrong. I sigh and consider my options allowing the indecision to cross my face as I sit back, wiping my mouth in my palm. "Then how could I possibly refuse such an offer?"

I see his teeth as he shows his pleasure at my response. "Knew you'd see sense." He stands and his two ever present body guards stand with him without a word. "Just be in the common room around eight."

"I'll be there." I say leaning back to regard him as he makes his way back along the table and out of the Great Hall.

What does he know? Maybe he knows nothing. I may have just been more conspicuous by my absence than I originally thought. Or maybe he knows everything and is implementing a clever ruse. Either way I must meet with him tonight for whatever he has planned. To remain absent would only arose suspicion and if he already knows I'm as good as dead anyway.

I turn back to my plate and discover I have lost all appetite. The sight of the meal making my stomach churn and I quickly push it away. Resting my head into my hands wondering if I can possibly get myself out of this situation.

I'm still contemplating this when I realize that everyone around me it scurrying to their next lesson and a quick glance at my watch assures me that I am indeed late for History of Magic. So I, with great haste, push my book deep into my bag and rush from The Great Hall along with my classmates.

After one very boring, very long History of Magic double lesson, three younger students chastised for lighting small magical fireworks in the hall, one pointless Defence Against the Dark Art class and a long nervous stretch of solitude in my room I find myself walking numbly to the Slytherin common room. Wiping my sweaty palms on my jeans before whispering the password to the unblemished stone wall waiting for it to grant me entrance.

Only the three boys I have come here to meet are present which is most unorthodox at this time of night. Vincent already throwing a backpack over his shoulder. As the wall closes behind me, all three look in my direction and Draco pulls a smile across his features. "Good. We're all here."

"Just us four?" I ask trying to keep the nerves from my voice.

He runs a hand over his hair and hands another bag to Gregory who takes it immediately and without question. "That's right."

I can't decide if I'm in trouble here or not. Draco can be very deceptive if he puts his mind to it and his two henchmen are staying suspiciously quiet. It could still be paranoia, which is alerting me to these things I have remind myself of that and force myself to remain outwardly calm. "Where are we going?"

Draco just smiles in my direction and walks around me to open to wall to the castle. I feel like a lamb being led to the slaughter and I must go willingly to keep up the façade.

Vincent and Gregory move around me and while still out of sight I give myself a moment and run my shaky fingers through my hair. Closing my eyes and taking a deep calming breath before following them back out, into the castle dungeons.

I remain quiet as I am lead through the long, dark, empty passageways and out into one of the castles many courtyards. All of us remaining silent so as to not alert any of the teaching staff to our presence.

We are led by Draco, across the cobblestones and then out of the dimly lit yard onto the open expanse of the grounds. The moon full and high in the night sky lights our path. At Draco's quiet urging we all break into a jog and it quickly becomes apparent that he is heading straight for the tree line of the Forbidden Forest. What in the name of Artemis could he need to do out here that would require my help?

I try to push some optimism into my veins, it's not as if this is the first time I have been asked to accompany him on one of his missions in the Dark Lords name. So swallowing the lump in my throat I continue unfaltering in my steps behind him, both of his large ever present friends closely following behind me.

We reach the thick expanse of trees, the dense canopy blocking the light from the moon and our leader feels this is a good time as any to stop, asking Vincent to pull off the bag from his back. Draco reaches inside and pulls three lanterns lighting them with a quickly uttered spell and handing them to us so he is left with only his wand to carry as he begins to lead up deep into the forest.

I clear my throat and find myself unable to cope with either the silence or the secrecy any longer and I speak up. "So what are we doing here anyway?"

He ducks under a low branch before answering. "My father asked me to do something for him. I needed another pair of hands. What's the matter? Don't you like it here Desay?"

"Call me old fashioned but creepy dark and might I add forbidden forests aren't exactly where I would normally relax at this time of night." I stop speaking at his barked laughter and step over a high root. "What is it you need to do?"

"That doesn't concern you right now Desay."

I bite my tongue and feel my state of uneasiness rising but still I press on hiding behind the mask of indifference.

We walk through the dense woodland for what feels like hours before he pulls us to a stop. "I think this will do." I hear him mutter and Gregory dutifully drops his bag to the floor.

I can't quite understand where here is. There is still nothing but trees, shrubs and dead leaves littering the floor. I lower my lantern to the floor having a look around me and almost lose my footing over a high incline in the landscape. The side of my foot scrapes against the leaves and I fall onto my side and lucky manage to gain purchase on a nearby protruding root. My fingers wrapping around it in a tight grip.

I awkwardly pull myself back up without the aid of any of my companions and swiftly lift the lantern to look over the side of the steep incline. At the top at the very least it is close to a vertical drop, dropping so far the light of the lantern is unable to reach the bottom. I feel my blood run cold as I realize exactly the position I've landed myself into. "So, what's so special about this place?" Even with all of my effort I am unable to keep the waver out of my voice.

"It's far enough away from the castle." Draco says with an emotionless tone to his voice. I'm still gazing over the side of the embankment as I hear the leaves rustle indicating he has moved closer. "Did you ever bring your mudblood out here? It can be quite romantic."

My hands begin to shake in fear. "Don't know what you’re talking about." Even my voice is shaking and cold sweat has erupted over my skin.

"Now, now Desay. Stop lying to me." Slowly I turn to face him. The limited light casting deep shadows across his face and making his features appear more threatening. He adopts a thoughtful look and he cocks his head slightly to the side. The simple gesture doing nothing to aid my discomfort. "Tell me. Truthfully. Was she worth it?"

My breath is shallow and my fear is mounting but still I find myself stupidly asking. "Was she worth what?"

"This." I feel the flat of his hand against my chest and then I'm flying. Off the side of the high, steep incline, my arms flailing wildly for something anything to grip onto to stop my fall. My grasping fingers are met with nothing but air.

One of my flailing arms catch the side of a nearby tree, the tell tale sound of bone snapping under pressure rings out into the darkness surrounding me, the force spinning it around my body without my direction and flat against my chest. My back is next to take an impact. Landing heavily against the bark of a tree, bending my body in an unnatural direction but still my momentum pushes me forward and downward. Both my head and my leg take a strike from the foliage around me, before I feel my shoulder hit the carpet of leaves.

I bounce, twice off the floor with the force of my landing and finally come to rest face down, pressing uncomfortably down on my most certainly broken arm.

Using my one uninjured upper limb I quickly roll myself onto my back and immediately wish I hadn't as sharp pain erupts through it. Around me in the dark I hear my own cry of agony echoing off the trees and laughter from high above, imitating from the three boys who put me here. A sharp cry if "I hope you rot Blood Traitor" from one of Draco's two cronies echoes down to meet my ears.

My chest is filled with pain and it is difficult to breathe, only able to inhale shaky, halted breaths. My head begins to swim even as I try to get myself back on my feet. I manage to get up onto my bent knees when something else snaps and agony shoots though my left limb. Screams are ripped from my throat as I descend once more to the earth below me.

Looking out into the never ending darkness around me I feel the last spark of hope flicker away as the last embers of the lantern extinguish and allow myself to descend into the deep pits of unconsciousness.
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By The Light