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The Dog Star	By : alexedmondson07 Category: HP Canon Characters paired with Original Characters > Het - Male/Female Views: 3120 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of its characters. I do not make money off of this story.

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Silence was a physical entity in the kitchen of Number 12 Grimmauld Place. In fact, he sat next to his cousin Awkward. Mad Eye had left Caridei standing in the doorway and everyone's eyes were on her. She found no comfort in the few familiar faces that were watching her and she was thought that she had made the wrong choice in leaving her lie and coming back. At lest Kim Sanders did not receive perplexed looks form people who had once loved her and cherished her friendship. Still, she did not blame them.

"For those of you who don't know," Mad Eye growled, "this is Caridei Burke. Dumbledore sent for her. She's here to rejoin." No one said anything again for many minutes. Only distant thunder broke the silence.

"Where..." Remus Lupin broke with a whisper, "Where have you been?"

The questions that Caridei feared where about to be asked. She had decided to not hit her location from The Order. Whether or not she told the reason for running, she was yet to determine. She was barely audible of her own heartbeat "America. Living as a muggle."

"For 14 years? How?" Arthur Weasley was more curious than anything.

"Never mind how, " the smooth deep voice of Severus Snape pierced the room, "the question is 'Why?'"

Almost every pair of eyes in the room burned into her heart. Caridei really looked around for the first time before she answered. There were many she did not recognized. The redheads could only be Weasleys. The twins were only children and the other boy. He had to have been Arthur and Molly's baby. The girl she had never seen before, but was obviously the sister. Next to her sat another girl that she had never seen, with brown unmanageable hair and across from the two of them sat a young woman with purple spiked hair. Caridei though her face looked familiar, but was not exactly sure. Next to the youngest Weasley boy sat a young man who could only be Harry. He was James made over, she could have picked him out of crowd with her eyes closed. It made her want to cry, knowing how much she had missed. Remus sat next to him and Molly across from him. Arthur Weasley sat at the end of the table. Around the room stood the other members of the order, Kingsley Shacklebolt had taken a spot next to Mad Eye. Severus Snape stood in in the corner and Sirius Black stood with his arms crossed, leaned against the counter and staring at the wall.

"My reasons are my own, I am afraid." Caridei made the decision to not answer the question. She knew what they were all thinking. Desertion. She wanted to transform herself into a bird and fly more than anything else.

"It doesn't matter." moody grumbled, "She's here and Dumbledore says we could use her. I agree with him. We need as many originals as we can and we could use another shapeshifter."

"Ahh you're a metamorphmagus?" the girl with the purple hair perked up. "Wizard! Me too..."

"Quiet Nymphadora." Moody snapped and the girl's hair turned red, reflecting her anger. Caridei Suddenly recognized the girl. Ted and Andromeda Tonks' daughter. She was amazed at how much time really had passed.

"We will have to discuss the matter, of course." Remus spoke up again, "Caridei, if you would be so kind as to leave the room. The children will have to go too.

There was an underage uproar from around the table, but Caridei nodded and grabbed her bag. Without another word she left the room and the children ran up the stairs. Outside in the foyer she could breathe again. She dropped her bag and leaned her head against the wall.

Why did I do this? Why did I let that old fool get to me? Why did I talk myself into this? Her thoughts kept asking questions but she knew it was only to keep from thinking about her real problems. She had left them. Abandoned all hope and deserted her own world. Sure, she could say that she was "in hiding" like other Death Eaters, but The Order would know the truth eventually. That she was afraid. Afraid of death. Afraid of loneliness. Afraid of a life without...well she wouldn't think it. She had been living a life that included all of those things for over a decade but at least she did not have to live it here, with a constant reminder of what she lost. So what if that meant she was weak and cowardly. At least when she was numb she felt no pain.

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Meanwhile, in the kitchen of Number 12 Grimmauld Place...

"There," said Molly, lowering her wand, "Silencing charm so no one outside this room can hear."

"Well, lets hear it then." Mad Eye started.

"Why did she leave in the first place." Kingsley Shacklebolt spoke up.

"No one knows. Lily and James died and she left." Remus spoke to everyone, "I saw her at the funeral, but she said nothing to me. She was devastated, but I don't know if that was their death or the thought of Sirius having betrayed us all. Of course...we know now that is not true."

"Well we certainly could use her again." Molly Weasley chimed in.

"What was it that she did?" Tonks was the only one who knew nothing of Caridei and was intrigued.

"Double agent." Mad eye said, "She's a pureblood, distant cousin of yours I reckon. Elitist family. She posed as a Death Eater. Gryffindor gone bad."

"If we put her back, she could be killed. She did not return when The Dark Lord called." Remus added.

"That," Snape intervened, "will be between her and The Dark Lord. IF she does what she did before."

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Caridei sat in the foyer for nearly an hour. She knew they were probably shouting, but silencing charms had hidden their words from both her and the twins' extendable ears. She had pulled her wand out of her bag and was turning it over in her hand. 8 and 1/2 inches, willow, dragon heartstrings. Supple, but firm. That was what Ollivander had told her 24 years ago when she was just a child. The want throbbed in her hand, wanting to be used again. She had not touched since the night she apparated to America. She felt like a child again, only not excited this time. Lost and alone.

Just as her bottom was going numb from sitting on the hardwood floor, the door opened and Lupin beckoned her back in. Again, all eyes were on her as she stood in front of her jury.

"We have decided that your skills will be useful, Caridei. We would like for you to be back in The Order."

"Thank you." it was only a small relief. Her grief was still present in her soul.

"But no funny busines, young lady, " Moody spoke with all seriousness, "War is upon us. And if you so much as put one baby toe out of line, I'll hunt you down. Understood?" Caridei nodded, "Good, now. Mrs. Weasley if you have will show Miss Burke to whatever spare bed you may have, we can get started with dinner."

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Dinner at the headquarters was joyous and loud. Caridei got to know the children that she had never met and caught up with her old friends. Everyone avoided the issue of her 14 year absence and she was grateful for it. She forgot about her pain for a short time and enjoyed the evening. Tonks began asking her questions about her skills and the first time she realized that she could shift. Before long, their conversation had become a friendly competition, each taking turns transforming themselves into more creative things. The table erupted in laughter, as Caridei became a hilarious creature with pig ears, a dogs nose, and a frogs tongue that snatched the piece of bread from Lupin's hand.

"Where have you been?" The laughter died instantly as Sirius Black called to Caridei from the end of the table. She transformed back into her original self and looked at him. For the first time since she had been back, he was looking directily at her."

"I told you," she answered, "America."

"Living, as a muggle." He picked up a piece of bread and tore off a piece, "Why."

"I believe I told you that as well, Sirius."

"I want to know why." She could see in his eyes that he was determined for an answer. Only the children looked at the two of them. Harry's eyes were on Sirius, the girls watched Caridei. The adults stared at their plates or the wall. Quickly, Caridei came up with an answer."

"I was thought to be a Death Eater...I...I had to go into hiding like the others." Even she couldn't believe what she was saying.

"NO." Sirius bellowed, throwing the rest of his bread down and upsetting his plate. The children all jumped and joined the adults at looking at their plates. Harry Potter kept his eyes on his godfather. "Every person in the Order would have spoken for you. Dumbledore himself would have told the MInister of Magic that you were innocent and working for us the entire time, so DO NOT give me that load of bollocks."

"I...had to leave." Caridei voice was getting louder

"That is not an answer."

"I do not have to give you an answer. My actions are of my own accord."

"You were part of this Order. You were part of this cause. I want to know why you deserted it."

She turned away from him, "Thank you for the lovely dinner, Molly. If everyone will excuse me..." Caridei got up from the table and walked out the door. She heard the crash of a chair behind her and door swing open. She headed down the hall towards the back door.

"Do not walk away from me." Sirius called to her. The rage in his voice were daggers in her back. She turned to face him in the hallway.

"I will not have this conversation with you Sirius. You will not speak to me like I am a child. I am going to get some fresh air." She turned her back to him again and she knew he was following her. The rest of the order had left the table too and was following the show.

"I will stop speaking to you like a child when you stop acting like one. Now answer me. Why did you abandon us?"

"Me? I abandoned them? I did no such thing." She had left the house and was walking down the steps into the garden. The thunder crashed as the storm moved in. Sirius grabbed her arm and spun her around.

"You left. "

"Let go." Tears were starting to form in her eyes.

"They told me that you didn't even say a word."

"Let it go, Black." Her eyes were glowing with rage and shame. People were gathering at the back of the house as Caridei and Sirius stood at the edge of the garden.

"Did you even show up at your best friends' funeral."

"I'm warning you, let it go." One rebellious tear dropped.

"Did you even care enough to mourn the people who loved you. The ones who laid down their lives for the cause you fought for."

"I died that day!"

"Do not lie to me agai..." He didn't finish his sentence as Caridei's spell shot into him. He flew back onto the ground and Caridei raised her wand.

"Sirius!" Harry rushed forward, but was stopped by Mad Eye Moody.

"Best let them hash this one out themselves boy, its a long time comin'."

Sirius drew his wand and stood up. He circled Caridei, their gaze never broke.

"You come here. You think all is well. Everything is alright. You can just leave. Abandon your family then show back up on the bloody doorstep and pick up where you left off."

"I did not abandon anyone."

"That is what you did and you know it. You think about it every day. Do you even feel regret. Did you ever?"

"Do not presume to know my feelings Sirius Black. My friends were tortured. My friends died and you, you spent your years in Azkaban. You know nothing of my feelings."

"Even I can see you have none. You disappeared, without a reason. At least Death Eaters have a reason." He shot a spell at her, she deflected, and the fight was on. The scene was spectacular. Their spells lit up the sky in between bolts of lightning. Thunder was drowning out their words, but they didn't need to hear. They spoke with their wands. Caridei was relieved that she had not forgotten anything after so many years, but tears still streamed down her face. She was angry and hurt and felt more shame than any one person should feel. She did not want to answer the question. She did not want to tell him why she really left. It seemed as if they fought for years, moving all around the garden towards the labyrinth of hedges.

One of Caridei's spells hit a statue behind Sirius and he took the opportunity to disarm her. Before he could cast another spell Caridei transformed herself into a fox and turned towards the deeper into the garden towards the hedges. If she could get to the labyrinth, she could out maneuver, she could get away for now at least.

"Don't you dare transform on me." Sirius dropped his wand and jumped over a bench, changing into his dog form in midair. He landed a few feet behind her and ran after. She was fast, but his long legs meant a longer stride and he quickly caught up to her. He pounced on her at the mouth of the labyrinth and drug her back. Quickly she turned and clamped down on his snout. He growled and dropped her and the two circled each other again, teeth bared. He lunged first and she was ready. They met full force, snarling and gnashing. He took her leg and she began to assault his neck and chest with her needle sharp teeth. They had forgotten their argument and had turned vicious.

"We had best stop them now," Remus said, " They'll kill each other." He and Kingsley ran towards the two canines. Remus Grabbed Sirius by the scruff of the neck and Shacklebolt picked Caridei up with ease, and the two were pried apart. They changed back into their human forms instantly. Glaring at each other they struggled to catch their breath. Sirius fought against Remus, but his friend held fast.

"You gave up." he bellowed. "You left your friends to clean up the mess and you abandoned everything. I want to know why!."

"Because I loved you." Caridei screamed. She struggled against Kingsleys arms and, with a nod from Remus, he let her go. Tears flowed freely but she regained her composure. No one said a word as Caridei picked up her wand and walked back into the house.
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The Dog Star