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The Best Kept Secrets	By : danniperson Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Snape Views: 13518 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I did not create the Harry Potter stories or universe and I do not make any money from this

Chapter List
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THE BEST KEPT SECRETS

Chapter Three: Guilty for No Reason or Rhyme

When Harry returned home, he had no idea what he would do. For a while, he just stood outside, staring at the front door. For all his Gryffindor courage, he wasn't quite sure he had it in him to go in there and face his sons. Not with Albus knowing the truth, not entirely sure what to do about the fact. Had he told James yet? It had been days since their visit to Snape's. Surely, if Albus was going to tell, he would have done so by now. And, if James knew, then Harry would be aware of the fact. Being normal for the time being seemed the way to go, but he didn't have it in him just yet to face it. This was too much of a blow. There was too much fear in him about having to face up to his actions for him to take another step closer.

He wasn't out there for very long. Ginny and Lily must have returned home not that long ago, a bit earlier than expected, because, not even ten minutes later, he saw the curtains open, bright brown eyes peaking outside. Seconds later the door opened to reveal Ginny standing there, looking concerned. "Harry?"

"We need to talk, Gin," he muttered, shaking his head then finally walking into the house.

"About?" she asked suspiciously.

Uneasily he glanced around the house. The boys were unusually quiet. That didn't bode well. Turning back to his wife, he jerked his head towards the staircase then led the way up to their bedroom. Sensing his urgency, Ginny ran after him. The moment they were both secure in their bedroom, Harry closed and locked the doors, then cast a Silencing Charm around the space. "Sn…Severus wanted to see me today," Harry explained.

"Snape? Why?" Ginny asked, frowning.

"Because, apparently, Albus knows who Severus really is," Harry explained.

Her jaw dropped, bright brown eyes growing wide. Harry waited nervously, carefully watching his wife's reaction for the first move away from shock. After several seconds, she blinked rapidly, glancing away while moving her mouth soundlessly before licking her lips then pressing them tightly together. Ginny's hands fluttered across her blouse, smoothing down the lavender material while several strange noises escaped her throat. He folded his arms across his chest, heart feeling as though it might jump out of his chest. She needed time to digest the news, he understood, but, at the same time, he wanted to shake her to make her give him the response he needed so badly. It would be hard to rest easy at all until they dealt with this situation.

"What?" Ginny finally spat out.

"I know…"

"Why the bloody…Did Snape tell him? That bastard! He was the one who wanted to keep it all a secret! He was the one who suggested I pretend to be pregnant and raise his sons! That man was too much of a cowardly bastard to acknowledge or care for them. He cared more about keeping his peace and quiet than taking care of his responsibilities! Not that I regret being their mother, I really love James and Albus. They are mine whether or not I carried them in my womb! I will always love them! But he…He can't just…I can't believe he would…Mother of Merlin!" Ginny muttered beneath her breath, pacing the floor in front of their bed.

Harry frowned as she ranted about Snape, partly wanting to defend the man, but mostly just agreeing with her. At least, if it had been the case that Snape had told him. She was right, though. Snape had been unwilling to give up his life just to raise a family with Harry. The man did love his sons. Harry knew that. But the feelings he had for them had never been enough.

It was Ginny he belonged with. She was the woman who had stayed by his side through his infidelity, willing to make a marriage work no matter how many times he fell back into Snape's bed. She wasn't so accommodating to stand idly by and let it happen. There had been many incidences of her going to the Burrow with the kids for a while or even muttering words like separation and divorce. Ginny stayed through it all, willing to raise and love children that weren't her own, willing to live a lie to make their lives easier. She was the strong one who comforted him during those times when Snape had gone too far in hurting him, despite the fact that his love for another man broke her heart. Ginny was a better woman than he deserved, and he damn well knew it.

"Snape di…Severus didn't…"

"You always do that," Ginny snapped. "You want to call him Snape just like the rest of us! I don't know why you insist on calling him Severus. He doesn't even call you Harry."

Harry flushed. Snape had already pointed it out to him earlier. It would have worked better for him if using the man's forename was easier. But, since everyone he knew referred to the man as Snape, it was hard for Severus to come about naturally. Clearing his throat, he ignored the comment and went on. "He didn't tell Al."

"Then who did?" Ginny hissed. "Don't tell me you believe …"

He raised his hands, hoping it would get her to calm down somewhat. "Why would he tell him, Gin? Why tell him and not James?"

Ginny looked furious, but could hardly dispute it. Her jaw clenched, arms jerking somewhat as if she were tempted to place her hands on her hips or to punch him in the face, though they settled down at her sides. When she said nothing, he was quick to continue.

"We don't really know how Al knows because they never really came out and discussed it. But he definitely knows. I dunno if I can explain how, really, but I trust it…just…Al must have picked up something from somewhere," Harry said, face heating up more at the lame explanation. Hopefully Ginny would understand.

"If they didn't talk about it then how did Snape figure out that Al knows?" Ginny demanded agitatedly.

Harry sighed heavily as he shrugged. "I think they're both very good at communicating in a more…subtle way. I couldn't really tell you myself, but he seemed really convinced of it. Seeing as it's Al, it shouldn't surprise us. He's very smart. Picks up on things, doesn't he?"

Ginny sighed heavily, grasping her fiery red hair and tugging on it. Frowning, Harry stepped forward, reaching out to her, but she quickly stepped away, glaring at him. "What the hell do we do now?"

Opening his mouth, he intended to start by telling her that the idea had been mentioned by Snape, but figured it was safer to mention the man as little as possible. "It's probably time we told them, Gin," he said quietly.

The redhead was far from oblivious. Her eyes narrowed at him, whole body stiffening. "You mean Snape thinks we should tell them," Ginny said plainly.

"Well…Yeah."

She snorted then shook her head. "No."

Harry sighed heavily. "Gin…"

"No," she repeated. "Look, there's no way that Al has proof at all! It can be a silly little assumption we can prove wrong and move on with life!"

"What if it's not that simple?" Harry demanded impatiently. "Maybe this is a sign. We shouldn't…we can't keep lying to them forever."

Ginny's eyes flashed angrily as she stepped forward, prodding his chest sharply with her finger. "This was what you and Snape wanted, remember?"

"He's the one who…"

"Yes, it was his idea, but you agreed with it. You helped him make all of the plans," Ginny reminded him.

"I never wanted him to…" Harry argued, his own temper rising. He had never wanted things to be like this! Honestly, he wanted Snape to be a real father to James and Albus. While the man had made it clear from the get go that he wasn't going to abandon his perfectly crafted lifestyle for children he never wanted, Harry had always maintained some hope that he would change his mind. That he wasn't serious. But, towards the end of his pregnancy, Snape made it clear that he was very serious.

"What's all this?" Harry had demanded that day when he and Ginny had entered the man's home. Snape was sitting in the living room, kneeling on the floor instead of sitting in his usual chair. There was a chest in front of him with stacks of parchment, books, pictures, and other small things that Snape was packing away.

"Careless proof," Snape had responded coldly. "You're due to give birth in less than a month, Potter, and you have all of this lying about!"

Harry eyed the nearest book, the scrapbook that Hermione had put together of Harry's pregnancy. Ginny slowly came up to his side, placing a hand on his arm as she glanced over at the content. There was a copy of the pregnancy test results, sonogram pictures, newspaper clippings following Ginny's pregnancy, but mostly pictures of pregnant Harry. Unless he was out in public, Harry didn't use his glamours, as they were very taxing and he barely had energy as it was. Even now, both Harry and Ginny had dropped their glamours upon entering the house. Ginny's maternity dress seemed so loose around her slender form while Harry's loose robes were stretched a little tight around his round stomach.

Feeling Ginny stiffen behind him, Harry glanced at her then followed her gaze down to the floor. There was an open photo album of Snape and Harry together. There weren't very many pictures, but each one was perfect. A smile tugged at the corners of his lips when he saw the picture the book was open to. It was one Harry had taken one night while Snape was sleeping. The angle was a bit awkward and didn't fully capture them both, as Harry was not all that camera savvy, especially taking pictures of himself. He had taken it out of some small desire to feel like a normal couple with the man, one who had pictures together, moments captured on film between them. The smile faded away as Snape snapped the book closed and roughly shoved it into the chest.

"It's not like anyone is going to come across them," Harry argued uncertainly. "How did you even get all of this?"

"That you're aware," Snape muttered. "What happens if you keep these things just lying about? Evan would eventually learn the truth, would he not?"

"Evan?" Harry muttered, stroking his stomach, feeling the child within kick at the sound of his name. "Truth? What are you on about?"

Snape eyed him. "Are you honestly this thick, or does your wife find stupidity attractive?"

"About as much as Harry gets off on being tormented, I'm sure," Ginny said dryly, taking Harry's hand.

"And would you know much about Harry getting off, Ginevra?" Snape replied coolly.

"I'm his wife," Ginny growled through clenched teeth.

"Yet after all these years you're not pregnant, yet he is…and with my child, for that matter," Snape retorted.

"What are you talking about?" Harry interrupted loudly as Ginny reached for her wand.

"I mean that should you keep all of these mementos the child will undoubtedly stumble upon the truth of his parentage," Snape replied.

"Oh…" Harry muttered, at a loss for words. It was like a kick to the gut. His mind felt completely blank, and he was so sick to his stomach he might have run to the bathroom had running not been so difficult for him. Ginny's hand gave his a tight squeeze, the touch managing to pull him back to the present somewhat. "Right. Can't have that."

Up until then, Snape had only mentioned hiding the truth. That was the first time it had ever felt serious, felt real. At first, it hurt. Harry could only sit numbly on the couch with Ginny at his side, rubbing his back soothingly while Snape focused on hiding away their secret, muttering under his breath of their foolishness. "…waited too long before using those glamours…you're very lucky the world at large remains too homophobic, as well as completely blind, that they didn't think twice about that little extra weight you put on for those few months. Yes, I finally got a good look at those Prophets" then became." "…and you believed telling Weasley was the wisest choice? Telling anyone for that matter? You may trust them now, but what happens when they need a little extra money? Or when you infuriate them to the point that they want to see your name dragged through the mud? You're giving them something to use against you! This should have stayed between the two of you. The more people made aware of such things, the higher the probability that such things become known…!"

They discovered that Snape had gone through the house when he had been invited there just the other week. The man wanted to go over everything, to be sure the house was properly set up to accommodate a newborn child. He had gotten the rest of it just yesterday, though Harry hadn't noticed anyone snooping around the house. Then again, he had given Snape the option to visit whenever he pleased, setting the wards to allow the man easy entrance. He only never truly expected Snape to use it! The Prophet copies he had found in storage somewhere and he was now subscribing just to be sure. By the time the man was done, Harry had worked himself out of a funk and into anger, though he was doing his best to keep his cool. The last thing he wanted to do was blow up now and make himself look like an idiot. If this was the game Snape wanted to play, then so be it. Harry remained cold, distant throughout the visit, making plans with Snape to make sure there was never a chance for anyone to find out the truth. He went so far as to sarcastically offer to Obliviate Ron, Hermione, Neville, Hannah, Luna, and Rolf. But Snape dryly replied that it would be unnecessary as well as being even more detrimental, as Memory Charms were easy to spot and would make anyone suspicious. Doing so could blow the thing up further, and Harry should have kept his trap shut to begin with.

When they left, Harry decided not to speak to Snape for a while. For the remainder of his pregnancy he remained at home, ranting about Snape. How he never actually cared for Harry or Evan, only himself. The git probably only let them visit so he could keep an eye on them. What had he even seen in that bastard, anyway? Ginny was there to listen, happily agreeing with every insult aimed at the man.

When he finally went into labor, Hannah was there to help. She had been in healer training for a year before quitting because she preferred to run the Leaky Cauldron. The witch didn't know much about medicine, but she knew enough about childbirth from what she had seen and done. Ginny grinned as she sat by his side, holding his son in her arms, looking like any proud new mother would. "Hi there, Evan," she had said.

"James," Harry muttered, resting his head on her shoulder as he looked at his squalling newborn.

"What?"

"His name is James Sirius Potter," Harry said firmly. He had had a lot of time to think about it. Evan James was a really good name. It even sounded better than James Sirius. But Evan was what Snape wanted, and, as the man wanted no part in the boy's life, what say should he have? James was Harry's father, Sirius was his godfather, and they were two of the most important men in his life! A more vindictive side of him cheered, agreeing that they were also men Snape loathed and had made his life hell at some point. Mostly, though, he was hurt, wanting no part in the name Snape had helped to create. For the first time in a long time, Harry actually believed he never wanted anything to do with the bastard ever again.

It was days before Snape was made aware of his son's birth, only when it was announced in the Prophet did he know. No one made a move to share he news, so he stormed Grimmauld Place to yell at them. That had been a spectacular fight, ending only when Ginny shouted at them that they were disturbing the baby and should keep it down. In all of his anger, Snape actually seemed hurt by the fact that no one had informed him, that he had never even seen his son, and that Harry had dared chosen to give him that name.

Harry shook his head, hoping the painful memories would just leave him. Never had he wanted any part of this lie, but they had all become so entrapped by it that there was seemingly no turning back. Most days, Harry thought it was easier to live this way. Surely, it would be more complicated for the boys, and for his marriage, if it became common knowledge. Painful, even, that their other father didn't seem very interested in them. That Ginny should even accuse him of wanting this was harsh.

Ginny, too, seemed to have had her own little trip down memory lane, blinking rapidly then sighing heavily. "You allowed it to become this, Harry. Okay? You should have told him no. Should have never let him have his way. But you both thought it would be better. Don't deny that you felt that way either! You always wanted a normal, happy life. No matter what you tell yourself, deep down, being my husband and those boys being my sons was a hell of a lot more normal than coming up with some unconventional arrangement with them. You know that you can never have the life you want with Snape because he would never allow it…"

Her voice cracked here, causing Harry's eyes to widen in alarm. "Ginny, no, that's not it! You know I lo…"

"You love me?" she spat bitterly. "Sometimes I believe you, but days like these I really have to wonder if you even know what love is."

"Don't say that! You don't know one goddamn thing about…" Harry growled then backed up, forcing himself to shut up and calm down. "This isn't about us, Gin. Okay? There is no reason for us to be fighting at all! I was only telling you what I learned so we can decide together what to do about this. I think…"

"Oh, stop talking like you're some mind healer, okay?" Ginny snapped. Harry trying to be calm in the middle of a fight normally aggravated her. He liked to think it was because she liked to fight or because she felt embarrassed by the fact that her husband could cool off faster than she could. "There's no reason to tell them, Harry. If they actually know, then..."

They were interrupted by a loud banging on their door. There was fussing, what sounded like the children arguing loudly, though neither could really understand what they were saying. They shared a look before Ginny crossed the room to open the door. They could finish the discussion as soon as they got rid of the kids and it was not going to be a pretty one.

The second the door opened, James stormed in followed closely by a panicked Albus and a tearful Lily. "I can't believe you!" the oldest screamed.

Harry blinked in surprise. "James?"

"You lied to us!" James shouted.

"Oh shite," Ginny sighed, closing her eyes and dropping her head.

"What are you talking about?" Harry asked resignedly.

"You fucking know what I'm talking about!"

"Watch your tone!" Harry said firmly.

"Do not use that language in my house again, James Sirius Potter!" Ginny said shakily.

"Fuck my tone and fuck my language!" James shouted, throwing the book he carried right at his father's head. Harry stumbled back then reached out to catch it easily, heart thudding harshly in his chest as he recognized the book. The scrapbook Snape had hidden away in the chest. Harry noticed the photo album hanging his son's other hand, hanging open with the pages half coming out of the spine. A few of the pictures slid out of their pockets onto the floor.

"You need to calm down so we can talk about this," Harry said, trying to keep his authority clear. It was hard when he knew that James had the right to be angry. It felt wrong to sit here and demand he be calm with this when Harry knew it was not easy at all. But he was still his father and there were still rules that had to be obeyed. Regardless of the situation, he and Ginny never let the kids slack off on their rules. If they made exceptions, then, eventually, they wouldn't even care about the rules, and, in the end, Harry and Ginny themselves wouldn't care so much about enforcing them.

"I will not calm down! You…you lied to us! To all of us!" Never had James's face looked so red, or those eyes be filled with such anger. As James did resemble Snape more than his brother did, it didn't surprise Harry much that he looked so much like the man when he was mad and losing control. "Snape…he's our father?"

Behind him stood Albus with his arms folded over his chest, green eyes full of hurt and accusations, lips pressed into a thin line as he let his older brother do all of the work. While James looked ready to curse everyone in the room, Albus remained eerily calm. The oldest may have looked so much like his father in the state he was in; he was more like Harry in that he got to that state so easily. The green-eyed boy, though, held his cool with far more ease that could only make him a Snape. Beside him stood Lily, face bright pink as tears streamed down her face, sniffling while biting her lip, trying to choke back the sobs in order to listen to the argument.

Ginny stood off to the side of everyone, hugging herself while watching the kids sympathetically. Feeling her husband's gaze on her, she turned to glower at him before turning away from him again. He sighed heavily then looked back to James, nodding slowly. "Yes. He is."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" James spat. "What about Mum? You cheated on her, didn't you?"

He hesitated only a moment before slowly nodding his head. "That's right."

"Why? And with Snape of all people?" James demanded. "Mum's pretty! And she's really nice, good at Quidditch, and…and she loves you! Why wasn't that enough, huh? Why Snape? He's…he's ugly! And he's mean. And he's…he's so old!"

"That's…that's complicated," Harry explained, glancing guiltily at Ginny who looked to be grinding her teeth.

"And you!" James shouted, spinning around to point his finger at Ginny. "Why did you stay with him? Don't you have more goddamn self-respect than that?"

"James, do not speak to your mother that way!" Harry snapped, reaching out to grab his son's arm to pull him back. Ginny was glaring at the boy now, looking ready to have her own say, but James beat her to it.

"And you lied to us, too! Why? You didn't have to lie for him! He's a cheating sod who doesn't even deserve you. You should have…should have never gone along with it! Where's your pride, woman?"

"I am your mother and you will speak to me respectfully," Ginny said.

"I'll only respect people who have earned it!" James snapped. "I hate you!"

"Jamie, don't say that!" shrieked fourteen year old Lily.

"You don't hate them, Jay," Albus sighed.

"You will go to your room until you can calm down! I get that you're upset, but you do not have the right to speak to your parents that way," Ginny said, jabbing her finger in the direction of the hallway. "Go on!"

"No! I want to know. I have the right to know, don't you say? Unless you and Dad want to cook up more lies to feed us!" James snapped. By now there were tears leaking out of his own eyes that he wiped away with his arm quickly. "Merlin knows we just love being lied to!"

"That's enough!" Harry snapped. "I'm sorry we kept this from you, but we have our reasons! And we will discuss it, as a family, when you can have a civil conversation."

"Oh, so never?" James snorted. "Fuck you and your civil conversation!"

"JAMES!"

"No. I'm done. I'm out of here," James snapped.

"James Sirius Potter, you get back here right now!" Harry called after him.

"JAMES!" Ginny shouted, making to follow after him. Lily stepped aside, but Albus stood in the way.

"Maybe you should just let him go," Albus said dully. "He's upset."

"We're all upset!" Ginny cried. "That doesn't mean he just gets to yell, say whatever he wants, then run off!"

"No one really gave you the right to keep something like this from us, either," Albus said coldly.

Ginny looked at him in surprise. Albus was normally very respectful towards her. He was the calm one, the reasonable one. There were occasions when he might not be as polite as usual, but it was normally well deserved and aimed towards someone else.

"It's not like…He's probably just off to Teddy's," Albus said irritably, looking more disturbed than ever. "You know how close they are."

"Right. Well, I'll firecall Teddy and see then," Ginny said. "Just so we know where he is, at least."

"Fine," Albus said. "But I'm going to see Uncle Ron and Aunt Hermione…Oops. I mean Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, right?"

Ginny flinched, even took a step back, and almost immediately Albus looked regretful. His softly spoken words were far harsher than anything James had shrieked at them.

"See?" he laughed nervously. "Just…We just need to get away for the night. Blow off some steam. You can't expect us to just…be okay with this."

No one said anything for a few minutes, Lily's sniffling, coughing, and hiccupping sounding louder than before. Harry didn't know what to do. Part of him wanted to run after James, to fuss at him for acting this way, or to apologize profusely, forbidding him to leave, or beg him to stay. Another part wanted to try to talk to the people in this room with him now. Then there was part of him that wanted to be completely alone. The biggest part of him, though, wanted to run to Snape and seek solace in his arms, pick a fight, or drink his misery away in the man's hardest liquor.

Before anyone had a chance to speak, Albus turned and left the room.

"Daddy," Lily said, her tone managing to break his heart. His throat felt dry, wetness pooling in his eyes as he looked at her pitiful form. Her voice cracked under the strain of her emotion. "Daddy, how could you?"

"Oh, Lily," Ginny sighed, reaching forward to pull the girl into her arms. She then glared over Lily's head at him. "This is your fault, you know."

"I didn't! I didn't tell them, Gin…I never…" Harry argued.

"This is why lying and cheating are normally considered very bad things," Ginny snapped. "I never wanted this for my life, Harry. And they don't deserve to go through it either. But, because you and Snape wanted to be selfish…now everyone gets to hurt."

"Ginny!" he called out as she led Lily from the room. But they kept walking and Harry knew better than to follow. Everyone was gone for now. His whole family was mad at him and it was his own damn fault. He could defend himself until he was blue in the face, but he had allowed this to happen. Snape wasn't the supreme ruler of the world. Harry could have told him no. He could have been honest from the start. But he hadn't been. He let himself be dragged into this lie, letting it consume his life. Now, he would have to suffer its consequences.

But if he was going down, he was bringing his partner in crime with him.

To add onto his already awful mood, Victoire and Teddy were snogging on the couch when James Flooed in. They pulled apart in confusion, melting into two very different expressions. Victoire blushed brightly, offering James a sheepish smile as she straightened herself out. Teddy looked panicked as he sat up, trying to scoot away from his girlfriend while clearing his throat. The interesting mango orange color of his hair quickly began turning some dirty brown color before settling on a nice dark purple. Seeing them entwined in that way made his gut churn, but he wasn't as worried about them as other things.

"James, are you okay?" Victoire asked in concern, sitting up more and frowning.

"Can I stay with you guys tonight?" he asked, voice trembling far more than he was happy with. He wanted to be mad! Screaming and snapping at everyone would have been better than this heart wrenching misery.

"I don't…" Teddy immediately said, distressed as he looked from Victoire to James. Then he gave the boy a longer look, as though just realizing how horrible he looked. "Merlin, James, what happened?"

"Of course you can stay here, sweetie!" Victoire said, sliding out from under the blanket she and Teddy had been wrapped in. Like her mother, Fleur, she enjoyed dressing up whether she was in public or in private. Even lounging around her flat, cuddled on the couch under a blanket with her man, she was wearing plum colored heels that matched the belt around her lavender dress. The dress itself was form fitting as well as incredibly short. Her hands moved quickly to yank it down, but it still didn't travel very far down her thighs. Her silvery blond hair was done up in curls that looked as though it had been styled elegantly before they settled in on the couch. Being part Veela, the daughter of the gorgeous Fleur Weasley, Victoire was devastatingly beautiful. Tonight, though, James didn't have it in him to hate her the way he might have any other night stumbling in on them in the middle of their kissing. He could have walked in on full blown sex and barely batted an eye.

There were more important things than the love life of Teddy Lupin right now.

"Jamie, what's wrong?" Victoire asked, pulling him into her arms. James found himself clutching her slender form, grabbing at the comfort she was gladly offering. Instead of verbally answering, as he didn't trust himself to do so, he shook his head vigorously to inform her that he in no way desired to talk about it.

"Was it…it's not…about…what…earlier?" Teddy asked timidly.

"What happened earlier?" Victoire demanded.

"No…it's not," he croaked.

"Oh, you poor dear," Victoire cooed, pressing her lips to his mop of black hair. "We'll set you up in the guest room, okay? Are you hungry? Tired?"

James just shook his head again, stifling a sob as hot tears ran down his face. God, this hurt so much worse than it should. There was no room to sit and examine why he was so upset. This was pretty big news. The woman who had raised him hadn't been the one to give birth to him. His dad had been the pregnant one. And the godfather he always enjoyed visiting was apparently his biological dad. It was all so confusing, and was still so hard to swallow, despite all of the proof they had found in that chest locked away in the attic. This was so wrong! Everything about this was wrong.

"Come on, then. Shhhh…It'll be okay. Let it all out."

Victoire led him down onto the couch between Teddy and herself. He wanted, badly, to wrap himself entirely in his lover and never let go, Victoire be damned! He might have pushed his 'cousin' away had he not felt as though the entire world would fall apart if he even loosened his grip. It was enough to have Teddy wrap his arms around him, kissing the side of his head, murmuring soothing words into his ear. Even the blonde haired beauty he normally envied was able to provide comfort he doubted he could find elsewhere. Despite their insistence, he wouldn't say a word, eventually finding sleep in their arms.

It was probably rude not to say anything to Ron or Hermione when he stumbled into their home through the Floo. Albus didn't entirely trust himself to say anything. Only Ron was in the living room, reading the newspaper when he entered. When he headed to the staircase, his uncle called out a greeting that Albus could only nod to, not even daring to look in the direction of the red haired man. Midway up the staircase, he ran into Hermione with her warm greetings, but he flinched away when she reached out to hug him and ran faster upstairs. He felt too agitated to trust his voice. He could well snap at anyone over nothing or fall into despair. There was too much confusion and sadly no manual that could tell him what to do in a situation like this. The only person he trusted had been his best friend his whole life. The fact that they weren't really cousins didn't change that. Not to him.

"Hey, Rose," he muttered as he marched into her room, slamming the door shut and immediately locking it.

Rose Weasley jumped on her bed from where she had been clutching a letter, reading through bloodshot eyes. Normally Albus might have been concerned, but his own issues left him too preoccupied to care. She sniffed then glared at him. "Alby, don't you know how to knock? I could have been…! Oh Merlin, are you okay?"

"No," he said shakily, blinking rapidly as he moved across the room to sit beside her. To her credit, Rose was a very patient young woman. She set her letter aside then folded her legs Indian style, sitting quietly and watching Albus carefully as he lay across the foot of her bed, staring blankly up at the ceiling. Even if he knew what to say, he didn't think he had the energy to say it. There was so much on his mind, though, by this time, he wasn't entirely sure what was going on up there. It was too much for him to really focus. His emotions changed quickly, from anger to sadness to nothingness then it would start all over again. They must have sat there for a little over an hour before Albus took a deep breath then turned his eyes to Rose. She was still sitting in the same place, though her brown eyes were staring through the window, lost in her own little world.

He cleared his throat before speaking quietly. "Mu…Ginny's not my mum."

"What?"

"My mum isn't my mum, Rose," Albus said a bit louder.

Rose frowned deeply, shifting uncomfortably. "Don't say that, Al. That's mean. I hope you didn't tell her that."

"It's the truth," Albus confessed miserably. "She didn't give birth to me."

Rose's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "But…She was pregnant. Everyone saw. And she gave birth and…Al, it was in the papers! Everyone saw her…Except us, obviously, but…What's gotten into you? What makes you think she's not?"

"My dad was pregnant with James and me," Albus whispered. "You know how the world is about gays…only it was worse back then. And…Well, our real father is supposed to be dead. Snape, you know? Well Dad cheated on Mum with him and got pregnant so they hid the pregnancies. Mum pretended to be pregnant, Dad pretended not to be pregnant, and we've all been living a lie for our entire lives."

Rose stared at him blankly. "What?"

He only frowned, staring at the ceiling once more, as he let it sink in for her.

"But Uncle Harry would never cheat on Aunt Ginny! He just wouldn't!" Rose exclaimed. "They love each other."

"I thought so, too," Albus replied, finally sitting up in bed then turning to face her. Rose scooted back on the bed away from him, looking upset. "But my Dad loves Snape. I saw them together during Christmas hols. They kissed. That's where this all started. Then it all just sort of came out. I watched them, though. They…they really love each other."

"But that's…it's not…it's Snape!" Rose shrieked.

"Shhh!" Albus hissed warningly, eying the door. There was no telling who was listening in.

"Don't shhh me, Albus Severus!" she snapped. "Oh Merlin…They named you after him!"

"Yeah."

"Oh my God," Rose groaned, slapping her hand over her mouth. "But…but he's so…he's so mean! And ugly!"

"I know."

"But your mum is so pretty, nice, talented, and all sorts of wonderful things. It doesn't make sense, Al, I'm sorry! James was probably just pulling a prank on you…"

"James had nothing to do with this, Rosie. I saw them."

"Well, then, James must have put you up to this. This isn't funny…"

"This isn't a joke, Rose! Why would I…You know I never…This is real! You know what? Never mind. I just needed someone to talk to because I'm kind of dealing with a lot of shite right now, and I really don't need to waste the time trying to convince you."

He might have actually left if he had any idea of where to go. Albus just threw his legs over the side of the bed, feeling suddenly overwhelmed. Tears stung his bright green eyes, arms folding around his chest, wishing pure physical strength could hold in the flood waiting to burst through him. This whole situation was a mess and there was no one he could really confide in. Anyone who already knew he was upset with. Then, anyone who didn't know wouldn't really believe him, anyway.

"God, you're serious, aren't you?" Rose muttered. He felt the bed move as she scooted closer, wrapping her arms around him. Twisting his body around, Albus was able to hold her tightly, grateful that she seemed to be giving in. He needed her. They had grown up together and Albus had never been closer to anyone in his life. "I'm so sorry, Al. I have no idea what to say."

"You don't have to say anything," Albus assured her, voice trembling, threatening to break entirely.

Rose hissed his mop of unruly black hair then tugged on him, urging him to follow her. Within a few minutes, they were wrapped in a more comfortable position, lying down on her bed while hugging close.

"I just don't know what to do," Albus whispered. "I'm so mad at everyone right now. But I also feel bad, you know? My mum kept this a secret so I hate her, but then I feel badly for being upset because she was hurt in all of this, too. Then my dad! He was my hero, role model, my whole life. Harry Potter, the epitome of all that is good, right? Apparently not." He laughed bitterly. "He cheated on his wife, lied to the world, and was stupid enough to think he could get away with it forever."

"I still can't believe he would do that," Rose said. "He's just…he's Uncle Harry! And Aunt Ginny! I thought they had the best marriage of anybody!"

"So did I."

"So what did they say? Tell me everything."

And he did. He started with the night he saw Harry and Snape kissing. Then explained the theories he came up with during the rest of the year, what he saw whenever the two men were together, his certainty of it all, the meeting with Snape, catching James and Teddy, telling his brother, then the pair's adventures into the attic and what they had discovered there. The redhead continued to interrupt him, to stutter out questions and exclamations about the news of his brother, but Albus didn't really have it in him to focus on that aspect of things. Rose eventually let it go to listen to him so he get through the rest of the story.

"To be fair, he could have handled it a bit better," Rose said.

"Would you handle something like this very well?" Albus pointed out.

Brown eyes dropped to her periwinkle floral bedspread while combing her fingers through her wild red hair. He continued to look at her, waiting for a response. When enough time had passed, he made to speak again, knowing an answer from her wasn't all too important. But then she muttered something unintelligible, causing Albus to quirk an eyebrow. "What was that?"

"I haven't yelled at him yet," Rose said clearly, though her voice was still quiet.

"Yelled at whom?"

"My dad."

"Why would you yell at your dad?"

"I…Well, I'm pretty sure he's been cheating on Mum."

"You're joking!" Albus gasped.

"Were you joking?"

"About wha…Oh…Well, no!"

"Good, then. I'm not, either!"

"But Uncle Ron would ne…"

"Don't even finish that sentence! I thought the same about Uncle Harry, didn't I?"

Albus's mouth opened then closed several times before he shook his head. Rose had a point. Albus himself would have never suspected his father of having an affair had he not seen the evidence with his own eyes! Plus, Harry had always been a bit more loyal, smart, and other things than Ron. But, like with Harry and Ginny, everyone always saw how much love was between the pair. Sure, Ron and Hermione fought a ton but that was part of their charm! Besides, hadn't Albus seen so much love between his parents before realizing that it wasn't really there at all? Not the way he had seen it, at any rate. He had a feeling he was going to be looking at Ron and Hermione a lot differently when he next saw them.

"What makes you think he's…Did you see him…?"

"No, I didn't see him," Rose said sadly. "But he's just been…so…I dunno! Scorp just thinks I'm plain old silly…"

"Malfoy? Well he's a right prick, isn't he?" Albus pointed out.

"He's my friend, Albus Severus," Rose said stiffly. "But I've talked to him loads about this. He's dealt with this, too, you know? Though I shouldn't really tell you because it's none of your business, but his family had many issues, too. More than mine, definitely. Maybe you could talk to him, too. He'd be very understanding, I'm sure."

"I am not talking to Malfoy. No offense, but he's a right git," Albus muttered.

"And so are you, when you want to be," she snapped. "Like right now. You barely even know Scorpius!"

"I know enough," Albus snapped. "He bullied us first year…"

"We were all eleven. He was stupid! He thought he was being funny," Rose defended.

"He goes through girls like crazy," he added.

"Oh hush. He likes to date. So what? We're still in school, we can't all be in serious relationships. Sure, half of our friends are claiming they'll marry as soon as they graduate, but do you know the divorce rates for people who marry this young? He likes to have fun and, so long as he lets everyone know what they're getting into, I don't see the harm. I do think he's a bit slow in not realizing that some of these girls get in a bit too deep and he should probably learn when to stop, but that's hardly his fault," Rose explained.

"I didn't come here to argue about Malfoy," Albus mumbled. "So why do you think your dad is cheating?"

Rose blushed. "Well, it's silly," she said, squirming around.

"I bet it's not. Just tell me."

"Well, he's gone a lot, you know? And Scorpius mentioned once that he knew when his parents were cheating because they were gone at odd times. And, he acts sort of strange, especially when he's gone like that. I don't have much proof, really, but…Oh, Al, I just have a really bad feeling about it! And I know it's so pathetic to think this just because of a feeling, but what if it's a gut instinct and it turns out to be real? I've been trying so hard to try to figure it out but I wouldn't even know where to start!"

Rose was working herself up quickly, so Albus wrapped his arms around her tightly then began stroking her arm. She took this as a sign to stop, closed her eyes, then began breathing deeply to calm herself. Albus didn't think it was so silly at all. It wasn't much to go on, but gut feelings tended to mean something. The whole theory of Snape being his father had been a gut feeling. There hadn't been much proof before he went into looking for it, but he felt he had known long before he had the proof in front of him. If Rose thought that Ron was having an affair, then he very well could be. And Albus was going to support her through it all.

"We'll figure it out, Rosie. I promise," Albus assured her. "I'll do whatever I can, alright? We can always hope you're wrong, but if…We'll know, okay? I'll help."

The redhead smiled weakly through her tears. "Thank you so much, Al."

"That's what I'm here for," he assured her. "So what do you say? Shall we start snooping or would you rather just…"

"Forget?" Rose filled in as Albus trailed off.

Albus smiled humorlessly. "Exactly."

"That sounds perfect right now," Rose sighed in relief. "My mind has been going nonstop since I first thought of this! We need something to keep us occupied and off of unpleasant subjects."

"Hmm," Albus said thoughtfully. "We can always steal Hugo's Quidditch magazines and see if we can find shirtless pictures of Lennon Lerato."

She seemed excited by the idea at first, smirking slyly as she leaned in to nudge Albus. "I guess being gay really can be inherited, can't it? Think about it…your dad…James…you…"

At first, he was a bit irritated with her for bringing up the two things he wanted to forget about: his dad's illicit affair with Severus Snape and Teddy's cheating with James. In the end, though, he couldn't help but see the humor. Throwing his arms over his face, he groaned. "I'm really glad we're not really related because I really hate you right now. And I don't feel guilty about saying that now."

Rose only giggled and slid out of bed. "I guess since we're not related then you can create a diversion by flirting with Hugo."

Albus gaped at her. "That's still gross! Besides, he still thinks we're cousins! He would freak!"

"Thus making it the perfect distraction," Rose giggled, opening her door. "C'mon, Al! Isn't Lennon worth it?"

Albus muttered under his breath as he followed her out of the room. He didn't mind occupying Hugo, but he was not going to follow Rose's teasing advice.

Calloused fingers had raked through his unruly hair more times than anyone would dare count as he hesitated outside of Snape's door. This wait wasn't nearly as long as all of the others. There was too much going on, his entire being too jittery to just stand here and think about everything a million times over. Now was not the time to think. He couldn't even if he had tried. With so much happening, his brain was a complete mess with no hope of deciphering anything running through it. Curling the fingers in his hair into a fist, he brought it down to bang on the door, which opened almost immediately.

"Back so soon?" Snape asked dryly.

"Let me in," Harry said, shoving his way past the man.

"You could at least wait for an invitation, Potter," Snape chastised him.

"Firewhiskey. I need some," Harry said as he began pacing the floor.

"A please, at the very least," Snape said, some dark amusement lingering in his eyes as he leaned against the wall to watch him.

Fuck it, Harry thought to himself. All he wanted was to lunge across the room and kiss the man. Why not? His marriage was apparently nothing. His children hated him. It was his own fault, sure. But, if so much was going wrong, why couldn't he have the one thing he wanted more than anything else? Every ounce of his being had craved Snape since their last touch. It had been far too long since he felt the man touching him intimately, feeling the heat and fullness of his lover pressing deep inside of him. A shiver rolled all through his body, chill bumps erupting over his skin. This was what he had been denying himself for so long, and, at this moment, there seemed to be nothing left to lose.

Jaw tightening, fists clenching at his sides, Harry looked away from the man's intense eyes to glower at the orange flames dancing in the fireplace. That wasn't true, was it? There was a lot left to lose. He hadn't really lost anything yet. There was hope. Everyone had a right to be upset with them. But this news was fresh in their minds. Surely, they could work through it. Harry owed it to all of them to stand strong, be there for them, and keep his urges under control. He had put them all through enough and he wasn't willing to hurt them anymore.

"I shouldn't have come here," he muttered, shaking his head then heading back to the door. A firm hand reached out to stop him as he went to pass by.

"Sit down, Mr. Potter," Snape instructed, motioning towards the living room furniture while removing his wand, wordlessly summoning two glasses and a bottle of his strongest firewhiskey.

"Thought you didn't do magic if you could help it," Harry muttered.

Black eyes narrowed at him in annoyance. "I won't risk you running out like some petulant child. Therefore, I assumed my staying in the room was a necessity. Seeing as getting good and pissed is the only way you know how to handle things," he waved the glasses pointedly.

Harry glared, snatched one of the glasses and the bottle then marched over to the couch. "You don't even know the half of it." Snape's point about his past issues with alcoholism made him reluctant to pour himself a drink, but he did so anyway, quickly downing what was there before pouring another, then handing the bottle to Snape as the man sat beside him.

"By all means, enlighten me," Snape said sarcastically. As irritating as his tone was, Harry knew the man well enough by now to know that he actually wanted Harry to talk to him.

"They all know," Harry said, sipping from his glass.

"All?"

"Mhm," he said, gulping down the rest of his glass. Before Harry could even reach for the bottle, Snape grabbed his wrist to hold him still while he poured it for him. Feeling the need for another sip before going on he raised the glass, all too aware of the man's impatient look. "Al, Jamie, Gin, Lil. They know."

"I was under the impression your wife was already aware of the situation."

Harry shot him a dirty look. "You know. She is aware of the situation. Now they're all angry. Have a right to be, I guess, but that doesn't make it any easier."

"Hmm."

The coldness and wariness that were familiar to those dark eyes faded away into the burning heat that Harry had been subjected to many times. The room felt suddenly warmer, a telltale tightening in his stomach causing him to shift uncomfortably. Harry cleared his throat, glanced away, then swallowed his firewhiskey quickly enough to make his throat feel like it was bleeding while his vision swam momentarily. "Don't look at me like that," he rasped suddenly. "We can't."

"I've said nothing."

"You don't need to," Harry muttered.

Cool fingers rubbed the back of his neck firmly while the taller man shifted closer to him. Close enough that Harry could feel his warm breath against his skin, could smell the heady aroma of the man's breath. Desperately, he wanted to lean in and kiss him, to lick every crevice of his mouth, to taste whatever it was that had been welcome into that warm, wet cavern. Thoughts of Snape's mouth, as usual, became fond memories of the man working said mouth and that wickedly talented tongue over his aching hardness. A stirring in his cock alarmed him, assuring him that now was the time to bolt, though he couldn't bear the thought of running away now.

"Don't delude yourself into thinking there's anything left for you there," Snape whispered. "It would only be the more devastating should you get your hopes up. There are many aspects of your seemingly perfect life that just don't work, and it's about time you saw that."

"Please. Don't," Harry warned, shrugging out of the man's touch.

Frustration made its way into the older wizard's face as he scoffed in disgust. "Why do you insist upon hiding here to torment us both?" he demanded coldly. It was not often that Snape allowed any hint at his feelings, particularly since Harry ended their last affair. It wasn't right, what he did, and he knew it. Everyone was hurt by this. Especially Snape, who always seemed to get the raw end of the deal. Harry hated himself at this reminder, watching sadly as Snape stiffly moved to the far end of the couch.

"Why do you let me?" he asked quietly, also curious to the answer. Was it the same reason that Harry was so willing to put himself through the hell of being near the man? Because the pain it gave was well worth the time spent together? No matter what it was they were doing. Because he couldn't quite stop himself?

Snape said nothing, only glaring at him furiously until Harry could no longer stand it and he looked away.

They continued to drink in silence.

James began to rouse from sleep when Teddy got up to carry Victoire into their bedroom. His eyes opened just barely to glimpse at his cousin's long legs draped over his lover's arms before falling back into dreamland where he was playing Quidditch at school. It was Gryffindor versus Ravenclaw and Albus was playing Seeker for the other team. In his dream, Albus was loads better on a broom than he was in real life, though Gryffindor was still kicking arse in the game. For some reason, James had to alternate between being the Seeker and a Keeper but he was doing a fairly good job…

He groaned loudly as his body was moved, the pull of reality starting to take him out of his sleep again. "C'mon, baby. I don't know if I can carry you or not," Teddy was muttering. James's body fell against his, arms wrapping around the other wizard's slender frame, nuzzling against his neck. "Jamie, please. C'mere." There was a loud grunt as Teddy took him into his arms, struggling to pick him up. Being nearly as tall as Teddy and not nearly as light at Victoire made it difficult. Teddy managed to start lifting James from the couch, but his feet slid on the carpet and he ended up falling back into the cushions with James in his lap. It was enough for the black haired boy to blink wearily, grasping at his dream to no avail. He had just seen the Snitch, after all, and Albus had gone for it. Who had won the game? Where was he? Oh, right. "W'time issit?"

"A little after midnight. You and Vic fell asleep on the couch," Teddy whispered. "Come, let's get you into bed."

"You'll stay with me?" James asked, letting Teddy pull him up.

The other wizard frowned. "I dunno, Jamie. I mean…Vic…and…"

"Mmm," James said, too tired to care much at the moment. He could feel himself slowly waking up, though, as Teddy helped him to the guest bedroom. By the time his boyfriend had pushed him into bed, he was awake and not pleased by the prospect of him going to bed with Victoire, whether she was sleeping or not. As Teddy moved the sheets to cover him, James reached out to stop the progress. "C'mere," he said, pulling Teddy down on top of him.

"James, we can't!" Teddy hissed in a panic, looking over his shoulder at the halfway open door.

"Why not? She's sleeping," James said, wrapping his arms and legs around the older wizard to keep him from leaving. "We can just tell her that I was having nightmares or I was really upset so you decided to stay with me."

"She won't think that's strange?" Teddy asked uncertainly.

"Nuh uh," James promised, leaning up to press kiss him.

Teddy shivered, relaxing into James's grip to kiss him back. Adrenaline pumped through James at the very thought of all they could do. Really, when he started this, all he wanted was to keep Teddy in bed with him, to curl up against him as they slept, to wake up in his arms. But this new prospect was loads better. They had come so close to going all the way just earlier. Why not do so now? And doing so in Teddy's flat that he shared with Victoire, right under her nose? Well, that would be the sweetest victory of all. He's mine, all mine, James thought smugly, pressing his tongue into Teddy's mouth. You'll never have him. He'll never really be yours.

Some dark part of him wanted Victoire to wake up and walk in. She would be furious with them both. James didn't want there to be issues for Teddy, but if it was the only thing that would give him the metamorphmagus completely then he wanted that. He wanted Teddy all to himself. If he ever had the opportunity to shove his relationship with Teddy in her face, would he? Unlikely. But the possibility of being caught was as thrilling as it was unlikely. Victoire liked her sleep and probably wouldn't be up until the sun was.

"Mmm…What about…Vic?" Teddy gasped, pulling his mouth away only to have James attach his lips to his throat.

"She's fine. Please, Ted. I'm ready. I need you," James pleaded, desperately moving to suck a particularly sensitive area of the other's neck. Teddy gasped, squirming above him, combing the fingers of one hand through James's hair.

"But…what about…earlier?" Teddy asked. "Al and…and everything?"

"I want to forget about earlier," James said irritably. That had never been the intention, but now that Teddy had brought it up, it was ruining his mood. How was he supposed to be aroused when his boyfriend was mentioning all of the drama that had attacked his life today? Or was it yesterday now? Shoving Teddy away seemed like a good idea now, to get far away from everyone to sulk. He disliked the hatred, anger, and pain that swarmed into his heart. Flashes of the day's events ran through his mind until he was ready to scream in frustration. Instead, he moved his lips to Teddy's, kissing him hard.

"You're upset," Teddy gasped, trying to pull away. "We shouldn't."

"What the fuck, Ted?" James hissed, shoving him away. "I should have slept with Wood. He wouldn't be such a pussy about this whole thing. But there I was, deciding I wanted to wait to be with you like some fucking girl!"

"Jay, calm down. You know I love you," Teddy whispered pleadingly. "It's just…do you really think this is the right time?"

"You don't," James said icily. "Fuck." He shoved the covers away from his body then moved to get out of bed. "I'm just going to go stay with Uncle George or something."

Before he could leave, warm arms wrapped around his middle and dragged him back into bed. Sighing heavily, James let himself be guided onto his back while Teddy stretched out beside him, propping his head up on his hand with his elbow pressing into the mattress. Bright blue eyes looked down at him worriedly while a tender hand stroked down the side of his face. "James, what's going on with you?"

James wiggled around on the bed in agitation. "More than I want, that's for sure," he muttered. "Listen, I can't talk about it all right now. But things are really bad. Things were going so great earlier, then it all went to hell and I just don't want this mess to have ruined the one thing that would actually make me happy," he ranted. "I fucking love you, Teddy. But you don't even want me."

"Of course I want you!" Teddy said, surprised.

"Funny way of showing it," he muttered. "You keep trying to find excuses to stop."

"They're not 'excuses', James, it's all real. It's just…it's not a good time. I want your first time to be special."

The sincerity in the other's voice made him laugh and shake his head, both touched and irritated by his words. "I don't have enough girl in me to say something corny like 'It'll be special as long as I'm with you', with a straight face," James laughed. "I want to forget about everything that's happened. But more than that, I just want this, Ted. I have needs, you know? I've wanted this for months, but I've been stuck at school trying to wait it out to see you and I don't want to wait anymore. C'mon, Ted."

Reaching up he grabbed Teddy's hand from his face, moving it to press against hardness, which hadn't completely gone soft even with the aggravation the other wizard had inspired. "I want it," James murmured as Teddy groaned, pressing his lips against his forehead. Black eyes closed softly at the feel of those warm lips against his skin, opening only a few seconds later so that he could read down to slide his hand into the waistband of Teddy's pajama bottoms. "And you seem to want it, too," he said, rubbing his hand slowly up and down the very interested cock he found there.

"Fuck, James," Teddy whispered, rolling over onto the smaller wizard, leaning down to kiss him eagerly. "You just don't give up, do you?"

"Never," James breathed, heart quickening, smile threatening to break over his face at his apparent victory.

Anyone could have guessed what a gentle lover Teddy Lupin would be, particularly when it came to the taking of someone's virginity. Some bitter voice in the back of his head wondered if this was the way Victoire liked being touched, finding he couldn't bear the images his imagination conjured for him of his beautiful blond cousin writhing in pleasure beneath the man he loved. James squeezed his eyes shut tightly while Teddy pepped soft kisses to his lips, all over his face, down his neck, while holding him close, rubbing his gifted hands up and down his back in a manner more soothing than arousing. He needed more. He needed Teddy to drive away the unbidden thoughts that were plaguing his mind. The more he tried not to think about his parents or Victoire, the clearer they became to his mind. James twisted anxiously beneath Teddy, shoving his arms between their bodies to grab the hem of his shirt to begin tugging it up.

"Impatient much?" Teddy teased against his mouth, that charming smile on his lips that made James want to pull away and pause just to get a better look at it.

"For you, yes," he said, grateful that Teddy moved enough to allow James to pull the shirt over his head and toss it aside before grabbing Teddy's to begin its removal. To his credit, Teddy didn't try to stop or slow him, only moving obediently when and where James needed him to. As he began pulling down his trousers, he barely noticed the way his leg pressed between Teddy's until he heard the sharp intake of breath above him. Grinning, he shoved Teddy up to his knees before following suit, pushing one hand into his pajama bottoms while he struggled valiantly to remove the blasted things one handed. Multi-tasking was not his strong suit, so pulling at Teddy's pajamas suffered while he worked his best to stroke Teddy's hardness. He loved the way Teddy grasped his hips tightly, panting and groaning at the pleasured feelings James was giving him.

"You're gonna have to help me if you want to get anywhere," James finally said after a minute, chuckling breathlessly as he shoved one side of the pants off of his hips, having to reach around awkwardly to the other side to shove them down another inch or two.

"Oh, right," Teddy laughed, shakily moving his hands from James's body to pull at his own clothing, underwear and nightwear, in one swift tug, down to his knees then shifting carefully to pull them off the rest of the way while James focused on moving with him, still moving his hand in firm, quick strokes over his length. When the offending clothing were tossed aside, Teddy grabbed his hand to still him.

James's heart jumped then dropped fearfully, glancing up at Teddy. He wasn't changing his mind, was he? How awful did you have to be at a hand job for your partner to have time to think of another reason you shouldn't be doing this? The older wizard grasped his face securely in both hands, staring him square in the eyes with his blue-violet eyes. "I love you, James. I really do."

He grinned then laughed shakily. "I know. I love you, too."

"Good," Teddy said, then kissed him more fiercely than he had just minutes ago, made of more want than fear and more love than thought. James groaned, gladly throwing his arms around Teddy's neck while he was guided onto his back.

When Teddy pulled away, James licked his lips and watched as he leaned across the bed to fumble around in the drawer of the side table, pulling out a tube of lubricant. It was surprising, but oh so lucky that they had some nearby. "Fuck," Teddy muttered. "I don't have condoms. Vic takes a birth control potion."

"Don't worry. It's…" James began, but stopped. Male pregnancy wasn't very common, was it? While not impossible, it was a bit harder for men to get pregnant than women. Though most of the rarity was because homosexuality had always been such a taboo thing and only in the past couple of decades started to, slowly, become more acceptable. Part of him wanted to groan in frustration, but he wasn't giving up so easily. "You can just pull out, can't you?"

"Oh, yeah…Right. I can," Teddy said, nodding his head then shifting back over to James. "No matter what you may think," he said, pausing to kiss him again, "I have wanted this for a long time."

"Best get on with it, then," James whispered, kissing his lover again deeply as he shifted onto his side. He really loved kissing Teddy and was reluctant to pull away, but grinned when he finally had the power to do so then rolled onto his stomach before pushing himself onto his hands and knees.

The preparation wasn't bad. Teddy took his time admiring James's backside, running his hands over the full cheeks of his arse and giving a good squeeze. He moaned loudly when Teddy pressed the first finger into him, the first time anyone else had touched him there. Ever since he discovered his sexuality and did his research on it, James had been playing with himself there, fingering at first then moving on to inappropriate uses for his wand and, finally, working his way up to a dildo. He was glad he had done all of that practice on his own as he remembered how painful it had been the first time he started fingering himself. The experience had bothered him so much that he waited several months before he dared try it again. With Teddy, he was able to relax, to enjoy the feel of someone else's fingers pressing into him, filling him, exploring him. The new experience was enough for him not to be quite so keen on hurrying his lover, though they had both been sure that going into this James would demand to be fucked before his body was fully prepared for it.

"A…are you ready?" Teddy asked, gently scissoring the fingers buried in his lover.

"Uhh…I think so. Yeah. I am," James said.

"Thank God," Teddy said, relieved, as he crawled over the smaller boy, guiding his aching cock to his well stretched opening. He was breathing deeply as he kissed the back of James's neck. "Wasn't sure how much longer I could wait."

This confession both amused him and made pride swell in his chest. "And here I thought I was the im….ahhhh!"

Teddy pressed into him so abruptly it was at first surprising then painful. James's fingers clenched at the sheets as the head popped through the guarding muscles. It burned more than anything, really. It only really hurt because of how sudden and shocking it was. He felt himself clenching almost painfully, though he coaxed his body into relaxing again.

"Sorry…sorry," Teddy panted. "Fuck. You alright?"

"Yeah. Yeah, go on. Don't stop," James said, squeezing his eyes shut as he carefully bumped his hips back. Teddy was bigger than fingers or dildos, but not unbearably so. He could do this. He wanted this. Finally! A smile curled on his lips at the reminder of how many nights he had dreamed of this, how badly he had wanted this for so long, and it was finally happening.

Unfortunately, Teddy resumed his extremely cautious behavior from earlier, appearing reluctant to move at all at first. Then, slowly, he began to push forward. A little bit at a time, he would push in then pull back out carefully before feeding James more of his cock. God, it was frustrating! For the first little while, it was comforting until he was grew accustomed to it and ready to get on with it! Now and then he tried to push himself back, but Teddy would gasp sharply, hold his hips still, then jerk his own back to keep James from getting what he wanted.

"Careful," Teddy said the fourth time.

"For the love of God, Lupin, if you don't fuck me I am going to tie you to this bed and fuck myself on you whether you like it or not!" James growled.

"Fuck," Teddy groaned, tightening his hold on James's hips, head dropping down onto his back. "God, you feel good."

"Then fuck me!"

"I don't want to hurt you."

"I'm fine! Or I would be if you would do something. I'm dying here."

"Fine, fine…but if you end up getting injured, it's your own fault."

James snorted. "Doubt you could do that if you tried."

With his plea, he had been hoping for immediate results. He wanted the experience he saw in all of those magazines that had taught him everything he knew! Being fucked into the mattress was one of his favorite fantasies. But Teddy didn't start drilling into him, though there was some improvement in the way he carefully pushed himself into James completely.

"Oh wow," James breathed, wrapping his arms around his pillow and holding it tightly. That was so full, somewhat uncomfortable, but pleasant. "That's nice."

"Very nice," Teddy agreed quietly. He stayed still for a moment, and in that moment, James didn't mind at all. It was an interesting feeling to get used to so he shifted his hips against Teddy, causing the other's breath to hitch or moan while he nuzzled the side of James's neck. Then, before James had to demand he get on with it, he finally started moving. It was still gentler than his wildest fantasies but not so careful that he might as well have been dealing with something more delicate than a Potter.

It lasted longer than James expected, but he wouldn't complain. The first few minutes were interesting. He lay there, experiencing it all, able to concentrate on the erotic feeling of his lover sliding in and out of his body. The feel of hands running all along his stomach and chest before resting on the mattress on either side of him, the warmth that surrounded him from his lover's body, the breath warming his skin, tender kisses applies to his neck and his shoulders, basking in the quiet moans that escaped Teddy's throat. Then, one of his lover's hands moved to slide up his thigh, massaging the area closest to his hardness before finally grasping it to stroke along to his thrusts. It was a bit harder to focus after that as his hips bucked up into the wonderful feeling of that seemingly expert hand pleasuring him.

What really destroyed his ability to think was the moment Teddy's cock brushed against his prostate. The noise that he let loose was somewhere between a startled yelp and a strangled moan. "Fuck, Ted…More…Please…Again!" James begged, eagerly pressing back, wanting that feeling again.

"Yes," Teddy groaned, picking up the pace slightly, aiming for it again. It wasn't a perfect target, but he managed to brush against the area enough times to keep James thoroughly distracted from anything else that might have happened. There was no room for thought, no room to savor anything. All he wanted was this feeling, forever. This was better than flying. Nothing had ever made him felt this good or this alive. A constant stream of moans, groans, pleas, and praise escaped his throat without his even being aware of the fact. It didn't matter. This was brilliant! Why had he waited so long?

"Don't stop. Don't ever stop."

It ended too soon. He felt the warmth building in him. There was nothing he wanted more than to stay in that place forever. So close, riding that high, but never having to give up this wonderful pleasure. He didn't even have the chance to make it last. His orgasm stumbled upon him too quickly, body seizing up before he even realized it was there and it was happening. A loud cry sounded as he clutched at his pillow, heat spreading through every inch of him. When it ended he collapsed onto his front, eyes closed, gasping for air while Teddy tumbled after him, groaning loudly into James's ear as he emptied himself inside of him.

When Teddy finished, he wrapped James tightly in his arms, rolling them onto their sides. It was such a nice, comfortable feeling that he had no problem falling back into dreamland. The last lazy thought occurring to him before he succumbed to his slumber being that Teddy had forgotten to pull out.

But he would worry about that later.

Author's Note: I was actually really happy with the chapter right up until the end, so I hope y'all liked it better than I did! Lol!

Gotta give a big thanks to the people who made this chapter possible: my reviewers for their feedback which is ever inspiring, my beta Dani for being awesome and fixing up this chapter, and my buddy Tokugawa Blitzer for looking over chapters when I need that extra boost to keep going or whenever I need opinions about something! Y'all are awesome! Keep doing what you do ;)

Oh and I almost forgot! The chapter title comes from lyrics from the song "Original Sin" by Pandora's box.

"I've been looking for the ultimate crime

Infinite victims, infinitesimal time

And I'm so very guilty for no reason or rhyme

So now I'm just looking

And killing some time

Endlessly searching for the ultimate crime"
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The Best Kept Secrets