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You Will Not Kiss Me	By : Prosperosdaughter Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Snape/Remus Views: 22836 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: JK Rowling & her associates own the Harry Potter universe and I make no money from my stories.

Chapter List
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Chapter 3: Learning Lessons

It was morning. Snape slowly awoke and luxuriously stretched, feeling unusually boneless and relaxed. He then became aware he was alone in his bed. He glanced next to him. There was an unmade depression in the bed next to him, but no Lupin. He wasn't quite sure if he was disappointed, but then he heard the shower. At least Lupin wasn't singing, he thought with a small smile. He imagined Lupin would be the type to sing in the shower. He lay back and ran over the events of last night in his head.

Just like last time, he felt well rested and his head was clear. At least this time, he wasn't bruised, although he ached. But what did he make of it? He remembered his rather brief conversation with Lupin before he'd practically begged like a girl (he thought) for Lupin's attentions. He threw his arm over his face. What was the matter with him to make him behave that way? He recalled he had been rather debauched. He felt himself flush and wondered, not for the first time in his life, if he should throw himself off the Astronomy Tower.

He recalled that in his fuzzy haze of utter physical satisfaction last night, he had contemplated allowing the Thrall to continue, so he could enjoy the physical abandonment he had sampled last night. This morning, he knew it couldn't continue. He had behaved like a besotted fool.

Then he heard the shower turn off. "I'm going to get some breakfast sent to us, Severus, so we can start work on this book," Lupin called out from the bathroom. "Don't mind me," Snape growled. "Make yourself at home." Lupin strode through the bedroom, fully dressed, smiled and stopped to kiss Severus on the head and continued through to the living quarters.

"How very ... domestic," Snape snarled at Lupin, and went for a shower himself. Lupin had obviously come to the same conclusion.

When he joined Lupin, the house elves had delivered a continental breakfast, and Lupin appeared to packing as much away as was humanly possible whilst scribbling notes of assorted pieces of parchment.

"Hungry, are we?" Snape drawled.

"Ravenous, Severus. You forget, I haven't eaten properly in weeks."

Snape had forgotten that Lupin had said that last night. Snape didn't have a tremendous appetite himself but he had a recollection that during their school days Lupin had always eaten enormous amounts of food for such a slim boy, except of course for a couple of days in every month. He remembered that he had noticed that as part of the pattern of Lupin's funny illnesses he had so frequently. Why on earth had it taken so long to realise what Lupin was back then? Snape snorted in recollection.

"Good joke, Severus? Care to share?" Lupin was leaning back in the chair, regarding Snape with a thin smile on his face. Snape filled a plate with fruit and some cold cuts.

"Just remembering what a human dustbin you were when we were young, Lupin," Snape said silkily, taking a seat opposite. The temperature in the room suddenly dropped as Lupin slammed his open palm on the table.

"Really, Severus? You still insist on calling me by my surname after last night?" Lupin leant forward suddenly, his smile vanished. "Why do you insist on dehumanising me? You really believe the sordid filth that's peddled in this book?" Lupin's eyes glittered, and his voice was hard. Snape could almost smell a tang of anger in the air, almost see the shimmering of Lupin's sudden fury.

"Habit, that was all," Snape mumbled, and looked away, shocked by how quickly the man had turned on him and how unnerved it made Snape feel. Lupin still had the power to make Snape insensible with fear. Yes, the Thrall had to go.

Lupin breathed out hard and then started looking through his notes, his good mood gone with his smile. Snape could feel Lupin's suppressed anger. Lupin clashed his cutlery and, when he'd finished, he seemed to make as much noise as possible clearing his plate from the table to indicate his displeasure with Snape. Lupin turned his full attention back to the large book, where he had been marking sections of note with strips of parchment.

Snape forced himself to finish every scrap of food in what he thought was a suitably leisurely pace (although his stomach kept clenching with every mouthful and everything tasted like dust). He then removed his own plate and cutlery from the table.

He sat again, stiff and formal in the chair, his face impassive. "What ..." his treacherous voice was hoarse and he coughed to clear his throat. "What have you found, Remus?" He really wasn't comfortable with Lupin's given name now, having had his attention drawn to it. After last night, he knew he should be, but he wasn't.

Lupin didn't look up and Snape saw Lupin's jaw clench. Lupin passed the book, open at the chapter to read, and carried on looking at his notes. Snape read, and as he did so, his neck and face coloured. He could scarcely imagine how furious Lupin must have been when he first read what Snape was now reading.

The chapter described in somewhat lurid detail the "most bestial" attraction that some wizards had for certain Dark creatures, especially those who were "half-breeds with a Semblance or Glamoure of Manhood" (Snape found he really didn't want to catch Lupin's eye whilst he read this). He quickly looked at the front plate to see how old the book was. 17th century – that made more sense – some of the creatures included in this book were not classed as "beasts" or "creatures" anymore, but "beings" and any bond enchantment would be illegal (not to mention, in some cases, suicidal). The author discussed centaurs, merpeople, werewolves, and vampires being those creatures that Dark wizards desired most. If their desire was sexual, this chapter discussed how the attraction could be justified and gratified by use of a bond enchantment. This enchantment supposedly rendered the object submissive to every demand (no matter how unreasonable or unnatural) made by the enchantment caster.

Snape felt these particular wizards certainly had a death wish with most of these creatures. Centaurs, for Merlin's sake. What wizard could satisfy a centaur physically? For sure, merpeople were reportedly seductive and their song could lure a person to a watery grave – but there could be no real prospect of sex surely? Lupin was a Dark creature specialist, he would ask him. He looked up and saw Lupin's face still like granite and Snape went back to his solitary consideration. Later perhaps. Always an exemplary student, Snape started making notes, so he would not forget his questions later.

Vampires – well, Dark seduction and mesmerism were part of their powers: that was well-known. Snape wondered whether a Thrall could possibly work against a vampire. He thought not. He found himself genuinely intrigued by these questions, but also mortified that Lupin honestly thought Snape would do this to them both. It was obscene.

"For certainly, the Darke Creature can be moste Alluringe and Seductive, but it is a False and Vile Attraction, and the Creatures are soulless and theyre Nature is base and coarse." Well, "base and coarse" was pretty much how Snape had treated Lupin on discovering he was a werewolf; why shouldn't Lupin think Snape would consider this? Because I'm not a pervert and I would never use a bond enchantment on anyone! Snape thought furiously. And whilst he was shocked by the strength of his attraction to Lupin, he was beginning to think it was neither "false" nor "vile".

The chapter then went on to discuss each creature. Snape flicked forward to the Werewolf sub-heading. There as a woodcut of a decidedly odd-looking man with a wolf's head and what looked like lion's paws. It appeared to be wearing medieval hose! Snape had to exercise iron control not to snort at the woodcut. Now was not the time for humour. He inhaled deeply, pinched the bridge of his nose and continued reading.

It described the werewolf as "a truly Dark and duplicitous Beast that maskerades as a man or woman for moste of a month. At the full Moone, the Beast within rips asunder its defiled and untrue form and unleashes its true Nature." Snape flushed again to even read this in Lupin's presence. The book discussed how the bond enchantment to the werewolf was one of the most dangerous and difficult to accomplish due to the demonic nature of the creature which needed to be quelled by the caster's magical core. It went on to also state that a successful Thrall on a werewolf would produce a powerfully erotic bond due to the heightened animalistic senses and predatory sexual nature of the beast within the werewolf.

Suddenly, he became acutely aware that Lupin was watching him intently. Of course, Lupin had already read this, so he knew exactly what Snape was reading now and he was assessing his reactions to it. Snape ensured his expression was schooled to perfect impassivity, although his heart hammered traitorously in his chest. Unfortunately, he knew Lupin would hear this, and sense his discomfort. There was little Snape could do to disguise either.

A successful Thrall woven on a werewolf ensured that the caster would have control over the appetites, functional and sexual, and a werewolf that denied its master would become weakened through inability to sleep and eat until it learned the appropriate subservience. The Thrall could not prevent a werewolf's transformation, but a successful Thrall would pacify the beast and it would not hunt for human flesh on the full moon under the control of its master. Snape brow furrowed when he read this. Could this ever have been true that there was a way of enchanting a werewolf not to hunt for human flesh? His head snapped up to meet Lupin's eyes.

"Did you see this part about curtailing the wolf's need to hunt?" Snape asked in spite of himself. "Can that be right? Can that instinct be modified?" Lupin's gaze softened somewhat and he gave a small shrug and indicated that Snape should continue to read. Snape scribbled furiously.

The book then went on to advise that the werewolf who did not obey its master would suffer even more brutal transformations as part of the inherent punishment layers in the Thrall. Part of the Thrall enchantment would loosen the pain enhancement bonds when the werewolf had been compliant. Snape flinched unwittingly, thinking of Lupin's painful transformation last month and that he suspected Snape had inflicted this deliberately on him. "I did not do this to you, Remus," he said hoarsely, holding Lupin's gaze. "I promise I did not." Lupin looked sadly away.

The book went on to describe how all Dark creatures, even those without human form or semblance, were darkly seductive creatures that could even lure a blameless, right-thinking wizard away from the path of respectability and normality and, by their "nefarious Blandishments", corrupt said wizard to a "path of deviancy". For those of a "deviant disposition," there were Arts that could make the Dark creature "pliable" and "malleable to the Dark Wizard's every Whim and Base Desire."

Snape snorted. "What nefarious blandishments does a Hinkypunk have precisely?" Snape asked the book quietly. Lupin looked up, startled.

Snape looked defensively at the book. "Well, it's nonsense – all Dark creatures having nefarious blandishments ... I mean... " Snape whispered, colouring again, concerned Lupin would become angry again. Lupin was staring at Snape quite oddly. Snape fancied he saw a slight smirk play at the corners of Lupin's mouth.

The atmosphere lightened slightly and Snape carried on reading. Whilst the author clearly was hoping to justify some rather unfortunate references to bestiality and inter-species subjugation, Snape needed to find what how the enchantment was cast, and its counter-enchantment. If the counter-curse wasn't in here, he was satisfied that he and Lupin together could cast it: both had always been exceptionally talented spell-casters and Snape's speciality was creating new Dark spells and counter-curses.

Finally, he came to the enchantment which was in Ancient Greek, Snape was pleased to see. He was more than proficient. There were also the details of the ritual to accompany it. It would take some working out Arithmantically. There did not appear to be a counter-enchantment but he was confident they would be able to deal with it, if this is what they were dealing with.

He looked up to Lupin. "I have never seen this enchantment before and I certainly haven't performed this ritual. Remus, please believe me."

"I do. I did yesterday," Lupin said, relaxing in his chair once more. "I had been re-reading some of that when you called me by my surname this morning. It is so foul for me to read, Severus. I was feeling vulnerable and should not have reacted the way I did." Snape nodded briefly.

He then started to go through his parchment notes passing them to Lupin. "I've made certain observations on things I have read. Look over them; see if you agree." Snape waved his hand at them. Lupin passed his over. "Good idea," he agreed. "I forgot your tiny handwriting Severus." "And I forgot your scrawl," Snape drawled, rolling his eyes.

They went through each others' notes companionably for the rest of the morning, drawing the other's attention to points that interested them and gradually compiling their master list of points.

They had both observed that things appeared off with the enchantment. If it had been performed by Snape, he should be the master of Lupin. It was clear he was not and, although Lupin was not master of the Thrall either, he appeared the more dominant of the two, Snape noted, with some embarrassment.

"That is my werewolf nature though," Lupin added, with a small smile.

Snape raised an eyebrow. "And everyone's always thought you so mild mannered," Snape pointed out.

Lupin shot him a cheeky grin, "Not anyone's who's been to bed with me," he chuckled. Then Lupin's face became serious once more.

"I do feel your Call, Severus. That is exceptionally strong. I resisted it, but I felt appallingly sick every time I did. I think I can resist because I am a wizard, not a Muggle. I noticed that the book said the caster's magical core could subdue the werewolf. So I wondered if the werewolf also had a magical core that could destabilise the Thrall."

Snape started writing again. "Yes," Snape said thoughtfully. "I see that and I think that is a crucial factor. I had wondered if the Thrall was unstable because a third person cast it." He looked expectantly at Lupin.

"Possibly. The book makes no mention of casting by others. We'd need to look elsewhere for that." Lupin took a deep breath. "However, looking at our situation again, what I wanted to say was that I think you have more control that you realise." His eyes searched Snape's, and Snape could tell Lupin was very uncomfortable admitting this. "I can resist it if I am not with you. That first time, when you told me what you wanted, I wanted to leave. I found I could not. It's really not my thing, you see – to be – um, so transactional. We had sex, but even as we did, I was shamed by it. I don't think I have ever felt such a feeling before when it's not full moon. Please don't be offended Severus," Lupin noticed that Snape had flushed rather deeply. "I think it's important that I tell you this, but I don't say this to be cruel.

"I left you and then I had that shocking transformation, even with Wolfsbane, so I started researching what this might mean. I was convinced there must be a curse underlying this – not because I do not find you attractive because I do and I think you've probably gathered that I have a pretty healthy sexual appetite – but because I don't usually behave this way and I don't believe you do either. I know you are a reserved and private man. This was all I found that might cover our predicament." Lupin was watching Snape carefully as he spoke. Snape did his best to remain composed. He found himself oddly attuned to the nuances of embarrassment as Lupin spoke and found he was sympathetic to them, when he would ordinarily have no time for such rambling explanations.

"I was very angry with you when I discovered this. I wondered if this was your revenge – to make me your object - for that night all those years ago in the Shrieking Shack. You made plain I disgusted you from that moment on. I lost count of the amount of times you spat "half-breed" and "wolf" at me in the corridor at school. I lived in fear that you would tell the school I was a werewolf and I would have to leave.

"When I read this book, I was determined that I could avoid you and that I would be strong enough to resist this Thrall, possibly even seek Albus's help to break it. Then I got your note. I believed it straight away. I knew how I had left you that night – you looked so humiliated and defeated. That's not the Severus I know. So I came to you.

"As soon as I was with you, although I could see you were suffering, I felt your Call so powerfully. I was so fearful you would demand that from me again." Lupin finally broke his gaze from Snape's and looked down at his hands. "I couldn't have borne it. I asked you to let me leave, do you recall? I knew if you did not release me, I would have to stay. That's the point I'm making – I was compelled to stay." Lupin stayed silent for a while to let that sink in, and then looked back again, with a rather salacious smile, Snape thought. "But as it turns out, it was a rather delicious night."

I could drown in that man's eyes and his smile, Snape thought unbidden. Snape shifted in his seat. He had spent so many years repressing his feelings and desires, even before he had learnt to Occlude, that he marvelled that Lupin could speak so freely. He knew there was information he should share, that might assist, but those words were trapped in his throat. He felt he would need to rip them out.

Now it was Snape's turn to draw a deep breath. "I don't deny how much I despised you and not just because you are a werewolf. I already loathed you and your benighted friends. You made my life at school even more miserable than it already was, with your constant pranks and hexes. You never damn well let up. Just getting from one class to another was a minefield around you four, every day, every year.

"Then Black saw fit to trick me into that tunnel ... well," Severus sighed and sat back in his chair and looked at the ceiling. "A life-size, snarling, spittling, monstrous wolf – that's what was there – that's what you were!" Snape's voice was trembling with remembered terror. "You were at the other end of the tunnel and you smelt me and started to bound towards me." Snape glared at Lupin. He didn't know how he expected Lupin to react, but it was not what he saw. The man's face was completely drained of colour and his face was a picture of guilt and misery. "I froze. I was too terrified to move. Blasted Potter pulled me out of your way. I couldn't speak for days. All that happened was Black got detention." Snape's voice rose with mounting indignation. "By all that's holy, that's all that happened! You all should have been expelled at the very least, you, Black, Potter! You tried to kill me." Snape's voice cracked.

He lowered his voice once more, and it became strained. "Your wolf has haunted my nightmares ever since. It isn't just that you are one of my childhood tormentors that sickens me when I am not in the throes of this Thrall; it is that you could have killed me once in your wolf form; and that your wolf form has tormented my nightmares ever since. It is against all reason for me to be attracted to you."

Lupin hung his head in his hands. When he spoke, his voice was dry and he sounded exhausted. "I don't believe there is anything I can say to you that would help other than I was not in on that trick. It's true: the wolf would have either killed you or bitten you so you would have been turned. Severus, I would not have been expelled, I would have been put down. Small recompense to you I know if either of those things had happened, but you must believe me: I did not allow my friends to use me as a weapon. I wouldn't have allowed them to throw your life away, or my own. It was a betrayal of me as well." Lupin's voice was thick with emotion, and then he sighed heavily.

"Your word on that," Snape said quickly and urgently, leaning forward, his whole body very tense. "On your magic that you did not collude in it."

"You have my word on it, Severus, on my magic," Lupin said firmly.

"It is important to me. More than I find I can say right now," Snape murmured. He held that covenant to his heart. Of this whole situation, that he was so infatuated with his would-be killer had truly nauseated him and had fuelled his self-loathing to a destructive pitch on those nights when he could get no rest. He could answer himself now that his lover had been no more than Black's unwitting instrument, not his partner, and he found it gave him some small comfort. He relaxed his shoulders and looked at Lupin again. "Go on."

"As for the pranking and hexing, I pranked with the best of them and thoroughly enjoyed it, but I admit I couldn't control my friends very well with their hexing and duelling. I tried. I failed. I was too weak with them. Wanting their friendship was always my greatest weakness. I never thought you were other than self-assured and always ready with a hex of your own, usually Dark ones. That you see me as one of your childhood tormentors fills me with shame Severus."

"There were far worse things in my childhood than the Marauders, I assure you." Snape said, waspishly. "Your charming games and duels just ensured that I had no respite, nowhere to go," Snape's voice tailed off. "Nowhere to hide from worse ... from others." Snape let out a snort of air and continued, "I'd like to stop this introspective now. I think I will need to tell you these other things. I suspect it may be germane to what we are doing. But I am finding it too difficult now. It is not my way. I need time." Snape cast his eyes to the floor, wondering if he ever could admit to those things he had so long ago tried to bury in the back of his mind.

"I think, Severus, one way or another, we've covered a lot of ground. Perhaps we should go to lunch in the Hall and then maybe see to our own lessons and marking this afternoon. It will give us time to digest what we have learnt about the enchantment and about each other." Once Snape nodded, Lupin briefly squeezing Snape's shoulder then gathered his papers and left.

Snape diligently worked through his marking in the afternoon. Once that was done, he started perusing his notes on the enchantment again. The question of who could have cast the enchantment repeated itself as he read. He hadn't worked out yet whether a third person would even be capable. It was frustrating. He thought on their conversation. He undoubtedly exerted some hold over Lupin, but although Lupin was fully aware of his Call, he could resist it. If he was in Snape's presence, he could not resist the Call. However, Lupin wasn't fully subservient and, well frankly, Snape knew he was putty in Lupin's hands. It both repulsed and thrilled him at the same time. Thinking about last night though, Lupin may not have been submissive, but he had certainly taken care of his needs. Snape sat back and was quickly lost in the recollection which ignited his passion once more. As soon as he found himself slipping into that hot reverie, he bolted for a cold shower.

Snape sent Lupin's Potion by house elf (he thought that prudent) and did not see Lupin again until dinner that evening in the Great Hall. There were very few there for the Christmas break and Dumbledore seemed to have a twinkle for everyone this particular evening. It was maddening. He caught Lupin's eye a couple of times. He thought he looked unwell. As they left the Hall, he fell into step with Lupin. "Come to me tonight," Snape said quietly. Lupin nodded. "I will."

Lupin arrived an hour or so later. He had papers with him, which he put next to Snape's own on the enchantment.

"For tomorrow," he said. He brought out a bottle of Firewhiskey. "For tonight," he smiled. "We should really be more relaxed with each other, I think. Make the most of things."

Snape Summoned two glasses. "I agree," he said. "But I wish to be relaxed in the bedroom." He led Lupin there, who followed, smiling. Snape undid the bottle and started to pour. No sooner were there two glasses poured than Lupin was undressing Snape, deftly and swiftly. It took him by surprise but he joined in, heat pooling in his groin immediately as he felt startlingly thick with desire. Only once they were naked did Lupin draw him into an embrace and kiss him very deeply and searchingly. Snape responded eagerly, their bodies now pressed against each other, their erections caught against each other's stomachs.

Still standing and kissing passionately, their hands wandered firmly over each other's torsos, raking each other's chests and sides, tracing patterns over their backs and down their spines. Their kisses broke as they explored each other's exposed necks and shoulders with teeth, lips and tongues, Snape once again marvelling at the reaction Lupin's sighs and moans excited in his own stomach and groin. It no longer felt alien to Snape to vocalise his pleasure to Lupin who rewarded him with more pleasure for any pleasure shown. Lupin was a heady and intoxicating man. Who needed Firewhiskey?

Once again, Lupin had brought Snape to tipping point, and was now tracing his fingers between his butt cheeks, hovering around his opening teasingly and around to massage his balls. His other hand was lightly caressing his too hard erection, in a manner calculated to drive Snape insane. Snape's told hold of Lupin's erection firmly and he pressed into Lupin, kissing him hard. He knew from last night that he would have to tell Lupin what he wanted if he wanted the man to stop tantalising him. "I'm ready Remus. Please," he breathed.

Lupin guided him back onto the bed, and pushed his legs apart to gain access. Leaning in to kiss Snape fully, his hands swiftly working to relax Snape further until his breathing became shallow and low moans escaped from him. Holding onto Snape's hips and canting them, Lupin then let himself into to Snape gently, this time slowly and inch by inch, softly moaning with each push into Snape's muscles. Snape had wanted him to thrust into him in one movement, but Lupin wouldn't give in to Snape's hands hungrily grabbing his backside to pull harder. His other hand pushed Snape back onto the bed and held his shoulder there whilst he leisurely worked in and out of him, holding his eyes intensely, almost unblinking. Then he leant in again to catch Snape's mouth with his own, searching deeply with his tongue, his hand grasping Snape's erection and stroking it firmly. His thrusts became deeper and faster, his hand in time with his hips. Lupin was hitting Snape's prostate now over and over and Snape called Remus's name loudly and sharply as the waves of pleasure hit over and over again, radiating through his body to his very nerve endings. Both men were moaning, their bodies sweating, each man panting. Snape writhed underneath Lupin and bucked against him to encourage Lupin deeper and harder still, they moaned against each other's mouths, Lupin murmuring "Severus" over and over again, as their blood coursed in their veins loudly and violently. Finally they came together fiercely, Snape with a moan and Lupin with a cry, pushing the last of his orgasm out. Lupin lowered himself next to Snape and both lay there for a while to steady their breathing, Lupin occasionally brushing light kisses against Snape's mouth and cheek and forehead.

Once they were both calm again, Lupin sat up, and pulled Snape to sit against him, and Summoned the two glasses of Firewhiskey to him, offering one to Snape. "Are you relaxed enough for this now?" Lupin smiled. "I believe I am," Snape said wryly, thinking how very easy it would be to get used to this type of relaxation, but knowing it was only glamour and spellwork.
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You Will Not Kiss Me