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Just Let Me Die	By : TalisRuadair Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Draco/Hermione Views: 25097 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: Disclaimer: The Harry Potter Series (1997-2007) and any characters and original locations within the books belong to JK Rowling. I am not making any profit from this, as this is only written for practice.

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Chapter Three – Caring for Thine Enemy

Hermione and Rosy stood in the doorway taking in the scene. Narcissa had her sleeping son’s hand in hers as she cried. She sobbed, “I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you. I lied to the Dark Lord, so I could get back to Hogwarts, and find you. I helped Harry defeat him for selfish reasons, and it was all in vain. Well, the Dark Lord was a horrible person, and this world is much better off without him, but I fear another dark wizard will rise up to take his place. I mean, he replaced Grindelwald after his defeat in 1945. Sadly, there must always be dark to counteract light. I just hope we Malfoys and the remaining Blacks can stay on the side of the light.” She closed her eyes as tears welled up, “I only wanted to protect you from the horrors in which your father participated. Instead, you were brought in as a sacrifice, but thankfully you lived. We can only thank the foresight of Dumbledore and Snape’s willingness to do what was asked of him. Unfortunately, it didn’t save you from them, and in the end it couldn’t protect you from him.”

Hermione cleared her throat causing Narcissa to look up. “You can’t blame yourself. You never gave up hope. I’m confident Draco would’ve been a completely different child in school if you were the only one to raise him. I can see you have a huge heart, but unfortunately his father filled him with the poison of hatred and prejudice.”

The woman wiped away the tears from her gray eyes and smiled, “Thank you.”

“So, how’s he doing?” She asked walking into the room and looking over the innocent sleeping Draco.

“He’s been completely still since we administered the potions. I think he needs sleep without dreams,” she looked down at his hand in hers and gently brushed her thumb across it.

“I’ve brought Rosy with me. I think she might shed some light on what happened to him. Well, I have a good understanding of some of the things he’s endured. As his mother, I think it would break your heart to even hear about it, so let’s not go there.” She turned to the house-elf who hesitantly stood in the doorway, “Rosy, please come stand over here so we can talk while Draco sleeps.”

“Yes, mistress,” she walked into the room keeping her brown eyes on Draco, as she walked by his bed. “What do yous want to know?”

“I know about what your master did when he,” she cleared her throat while she looked for a word, “spent time with Draco. What happened when you cared for Draco when your master didn’t come back?”

The elf rung her hands and looked down, “Well, I bring him food, a place to sleep, and I healed his wounds. Master forbids me to let him out, so I couldn’t free him no matter how much he begged. He gots so bad,” she looked up with tears in her big doe eyes, “he hurts and rammed into the bars.”

Hermione patted the elf on the shoulder, “It’s okay Rosy. There was nothing you could do for him other than what you did. After being in that same room for that many years, he started to break. He probably felt hopeless and desperate to escape anyway possible, even if the only way was death.”

Narcissa gasped, “It was that bad for him? Do you think he’ll still have those issues?”

She hung her head, “Surviving torture like that has its side effects. Draco may not have the strength and bravery of a Gryffindor to take it head on, but he does have the self preservation streak of a Slytherin. It will take time, but I think he’ll eventually heal.”

Narcissa sighed, “He’ll need someone who has the strength and bravery of a Gryffindor to help him get through this. I’m so glad you’re here to help.”

“Maybe, you should go home and sleep. We’ll stay with him,” She suggested patting the woman on her arm. She hoped Narcissa would take it as a form of comfort and nothing else.

Hermione transfigured the chair next to his bed into a cot and fell asleep holding onto Draco’s hand. Something in his feeble appearance, only made her want to protect and comfort him. He was once a despicable boy who tortured her in school. After his five year trial, there wasn’t much left of the proud, arrogant, and dreadful young man. She soon fell asleep with hopes for his wellbeing on her mind.

She awoke with a start to Draco’s screams and convulsions. She popped up and noticed Draco was still asleep. The dreamless draught had worn off, and he was experiencing a nightmare. She recognized his movements knowing he was reliving the Cruciatus Curse. She tried to gently wake him by shaking his shoulder, “Draco, you’re safe. It’s just a dream. Please Draco, wake up!”

His gray eyes popped open full of fear, as his mind was stuck in the past. She could only imagine he was preparing for what came next. She shuttered before running her fingers through his long blond hair. He gasped and tears formed in his eyes. She stared into those eyes remembering what Rosy had said about Draco being sad after her master was ‘done’ with him. She used her soothing voice, “Draco, we need to figure out what you want done with your hair.”

He sighed closing his eyes, “Here you are, saving me again. Why care for a hopeless case like me? I know it’s quite undignified of me to admit this, but I’m beyond anyone’s ability to repair. I’m nothing more than the pieces of the person I once was. I’m incapable of caring for another, as I’m just a burden. I’m not strong or brave like you, or Weasley, or Potter. I’m powerless without my wand, and I could do nothing to stop him. I just had to endure, and that’s all I’ve been doing since he captured me.” Tears slipped from his clenched eyes as he pleaded, “Please just let me die. I don’t want to live anymore, please Hermione. I just want to die. I’m a coward and I cannot stand living any longer.”

“No Draco, I’m not going to do that,” she continued to run her figures through his hair trying to comfort him. He seemed so much like a lost child in the body of a 23 year old.

He swatted her hand away and his voice grew cold, “Oh I see. You hate me so much, you enjoy watching me suffer. I thought you were different, but I guess I was wrong. Everyone just gets a kick out of watching the Malfoy prince fall. My father’s efforts were thwarted by 15 year olds in the Department of Mysteries. The Dark Lord forced me to serve him in my father’s absence. He gave me the task of killing Dumbledore or end up dead myself. He expected me to fail and end up dead. He didn’t expect Snape to finish the job for me. He made me, okay so I guess I obliged him, torture a fellow death eater. I was a boy pushed into a world I thought I could handle, only to realize too late that I was over my head. Of course you’d hate me; everyone hates me, but probably not as much as I hate myself. If you’re not going to help me, just leave me alone. Allow me to remedy the situation myself. No one will morn me when I’m gone. Plenty will show up only to spit on my grave.”

“There’s no reason to be so melodramatic, Malfoy. No one at this hospital is going to allow you to end your life when you finally have the opportunity to live,” She scolded.

“You mean no one’s going to let me die before I go to trial and end up in Azkaban with my father and,” he shuddered, “Crabbe.”

“You’re trial was combined with your parents five years ago. Thanks to Harry’s testimony that you had lowered your wand to Dumbledore and that you’re mother lied about Harry’s death. The charges against your family were dropped. You’re mother had lied so that she could look for you. She may’ve been selfish, but she put you over the cause you’re father so diligently followed,” she ran her figures through his hair. “Draco, think about what your mother’s been through. She never gave up hope you’d be found. She pleaded with Harry and the other Aurors to find you. You’re the one thing in the world your mother cares about above all else. She’d die for you in the same self-sacrificing way as Lily did for Harry.”

Tears welled up in his gray eyes as he whispered, “I’m free.”

She chuckled, “Not quite yet. You’re still pretty underweight and in need of some potions for muscle atrophy. You really didn’t use them towards the end. I think you gave up and just laid there waiting to die. Rosy said you stopped eating and that she had to pour soup down your throat to make sure you had some nutrition. Every time you awoke, you pleaded for another sleeping potion. You wanted to sleep until you never woke up. She obliged, hoping you wouldn’t try to hurt yourself if she did.”

He gasped, “You spoke to Rosy?”

She nodded, “She’s here. She’s going to help me take care of you.” Hermione then looked over to the end of the cot she’d transfigured to the still sleeping house-elf, “Rosy.”

She jumped up, “Yes mistress?”

“Rosy, can you watch over Draco while I go get us some breakfast? Do not allow him hurt himself. If you have to full body bind him, I give you permission.”

Draco gasped, “What?”

She raised an eyebrow, “I’m giving Rosy permission to restrain you if you attempt to hurt yourself. You’re not well and I’m not going to allow you to hurt yourself because Crabbe’s not here to do it anymore.”

“Are you accusing me of enjoying what that man did to me?” he yelled, “What kind of sick bastard do you take me for?”

“No, what he did to you was break you. He made you feel worthless and dirty. He made you believed you deserved the pain and that you weren’t deserving of anything else. That’s why you hurt yourself when he was detained and unable to hurt you anymore. You continued to punish yourself with the hope that you’d die, and it’d all be over. In your eyes, because of the decisions you made, you no longer deserved to live. Now, I’m going to be gone for a moment, and Rosy is going to do what she did for you before. She’s going to make sure you stay alive.”

“What makes you think you know me?” he growled.

“I’ve always been a good reader of people, plus I was in your mind yesterday. I’m very observant, and I could tell what you were feeling in those memories. If you didn’t feel ashamed you wouldn’t have cried like that afterward. You weren’t crying after the Cruciatus Curse but you did after he-” she choked up, “I’m not finishing that sentence. I’ll be back soon. I’ll go find Ernie to figure out what you’re starved stomach can handle.”

“I was horrible to you in school Granger; do you believe I deserved it?” Draco scrunched up his face as if preparing for the emotional blow. She could tell he expected her to answer yes.

“No Draco, no one deserves what you’ve been through. You were a despicable child in school, but that was a product of your upbringing. Toward the end, you only did what you had to in order to survive. Then you were abducted and blamed for his son’s death. We all know you weren’t responsible for Vincent’s stupidity.” She turned around and walked out of the door hearing his sobs as she left.

She came back in with Ernie, each caring a tray of breakfast. Ernie elevated Draco’s bed into a sitting position and summoned a tray over his waist before floating the tray over him. Ernie glared as if he was not willing to touch his patient. She floated her tray over to the transfigured bed and grabbed his arm, pulling him out of the room, “Ernie, do I need to request another healer?”

Ernie raised an eyebrow, “Why do you ask?”

She crossed her arms, “You’re not treating him like a patient but rather a prisoner, someone too filthy to touch. How are you supposed to care for someone when you’re harboring such a grudge? Do you even care if he lives or dies?”

“No I don’t. He’s a bloody Death Eater. He should be in Azkaban. He’s responsible for Dumbledore’s death,” Ernie spat.

Hermione felt her blood boil, “You will leave now! I’m asking for him to be moved to another floor. I will not have you responsible for his care. He couldn’t do it, you know. He was forced between a rock and a hard place by Voldemort. It was either fulfill his mission to kill Dumbledore or die. Voldemort didn’t even expect him to succeed and sent him to his death as a punishment for his father’s failure. Could you imagine having something like that put on your shoulders as a 16 year old?

“Dumbledore was already dying because of a nasty curse he’d come in contact with the summer before. Dumbledore pleaded with Snape to kill him, so that Draco wouldn’t have to sacrifice his soul. Draco’s a coward, who grew up with the pureblood dogmatic teachings. He’s a product of his environment, but he’s still a human being. He still has feelings, and the stress was getting to him that year. He didn’t mean for Katie Bell to get hurt or Ron to get poisoned. Harry found him sobbing in the bathroom. You know what, stay away from this room Ernie or I’ll hex you. Don’t question my dueling abilities.” She turned around and trudged back into the room and shut the door. She put up wards not allowing anyone to enter.

Draco raised an eyebrow, “Why are you warding the door? Are you planning on torturing me?”

She ignored his question and turned to the house-elf, “Can you bring Narcissa here?” Rosy nodded her head. “Please just pop into this room with her. I need to discuss something with her.”

The elf popped out of the room and Hermione walked over to her cot, picked up her tray, and transfigured it back into a chair. She took a seat and began eating her breakfast while Draco just stared at her, “Why are you bringing my mother here?”

“I need someone to stay with you that I trust while I speak with administration. I need to find you another healer. I’m afraid Ernie is holding a grudge. I’m afraid he might neglect a pain potion or something that might cause discomfort. He took a damn oath, and he’s allowing his personal feelings to dictate things. He was a bloody Hufflepuff. Where’s his sense of fairness?” She answered digging into her blueberry muffin perhaps with a little too much force.

Draco looked down at his tray, “Why do you care? You have every right to hold a similar grudge.”

She stared at him, “I’m not going to kick you while you’re down. Haven’t you been through enough without me deciding to take my past frustrations out on you? Would I be any better than Crabbe?”

“No, I guess not. What is it that you want from me?” His gray eyes meeting her honey brown ones.

“Such a Slytherin concept, people doing things for ulterior motives that only benefits them. No Draco, the only ulterior motives I have is to see you treated like the human being you are. I want you to regain your dignity and become a productive member of society.”

He furrowed his brow, “How sure are you that I’ll be anything more than the scum of the earth? I’m a manipulating, power hungry, and cowardly Death Eater. I’ll never be anything more than that. I lack anything that makes me anything but a monster. I terrorized people in school, I tortured others, and I’ve used Unforgivable Curses. I let other Death Eater’s into Hogwarts and contributed to the death of Dumbledore. I’m a Dark Wizard incapable of any emotions except for anger and having power over others.”

“Do you regret doing any of those things?” she raised an eyebrow and smirked.

He looked down at the tray, “Yes, I do.” He looked up tears forming in his stormy eyes, “I didn’t want to do any of it, well except for the manipulation and being power hungry. I regret being that way, but I fear I’m not capable of anything else.”

There was a pop behind them, but she spoke anyway. “Draco, you’re not a monster. You’re human, and we all make mistakes. You were a bit more likely to make poor decisions because of your negative influences. The fact that you regret some of those choices shows that you’re a good person. Misguided yes, but evil you’re not.”

She felt a pat on her shoulder and noticed Narcissa smiling behind her. She whispered, “Thank you.”

“May I have you stay with Draco while Rosy and I go talk to the administration? We need to move Draco to another floor. Did any of his friends become healers?”

Narcissa thought for a moment, “Greg did, Vincent’s death and Draco’s disappearance, had a major effect on him. He works on the fifth floor where victims of the Cruciatus Curse are treated. I fear that’s where the Longbottoms are to this day. That’s a really sad story and I’m ashamed my own sister was responsible for it.”

“Speaking of sisters have you spoken to Andromeda lately?” She asked taking Rosy’s hand.

“Yes, Andy and I meet for Friday night dinner. Teddy is getting so big. They’re the only family I had left and were there for me during Draco’s disappearance.”

“I’m happy to hear that. Family is always important. Harry loves his godson and we all miss his parents, but then again everyone lost someone they cared about in the Battle of Hogwarts,” she turned to Rosy and nodded, with a pop the two of them disappeared.

A/N: I’m still not that sure about this story. I have ideas for it but I’m afraid it will be a big flop. I guess we’ll just have to see what happens. Also, if you haven’t noticed I’m American, so some of the British slang and idiomatic phrases may be a bit off.
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Just Let Me Die