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Amore et Amicitia	By : Kimmimaru Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Sirius/James Views: 6685 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any characters or settings by JK Rowling. I make no profit from this story.

Chapter List
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Chapter Two: Lux (Light)

“Hey! Hey! Wake up!”

Sirius groaned and pushed that annoying hand away as it shook his shoulder, he tried to roll over and get away from it but it was insistent. “Whaaat?” He whined as he forced his eyes open, James was grinning down at him, eyes glittering in early morning light. “What time is it?”

“Just past six.” James said, backing off as Sirius sat up with a huge yawn.

“That’s ridiculous! Wake me up when its a real time...”

“Don’t be silly Sirius! It’s Christmas!”

Sirius groaned and lay back down, he pulled the blanket over his head and curled into a tight ball. “I don’t celebrate Christmas.” He muttered sleepily.

“You what?!” James sounded outraged. “Of course you celebrate Christmas, everyone celebrates Christmas!”

“My ‘Christmas’ was on the twenty-first...now leave me alone!”

“But you got presents...” James muttered sulkily.

Sirius opened an eye, watching James curiously. “I do?”

“Yeah...see?” He lifted one up and grinned as he shoved it towards his friend. It was wrapped in glittering paper and had a big crimson ribbon tied haphazardly around it, slowly Sirius was lured from beneath his duvet.

Sirius took the parcel reverently. “I’ve never had any Christmas presents before...”

“Well, now we’ll just have to start getting each other presents.” James said, leaping back to his bed and over it to shake the other dorm occupants awake, Sirius gazed down at the package in his hands, he blinked at it before slowly pulling the ribbon off. The paper fell open to reveal a jumper with a shaggy dog knitted on the front, he lifted it up and gazed at it for a long time.

“Do you...not like it? I can take it back...”

“No...no I...I love it.” He turned and grinned at James who was sitting in amongst the largest pile of presents Sirius had ever seen, wrapping paper and Christmas cards scattered his bed like the aftermath of some kind of paper explosion, he grinned when Sirius said he liked the jumper and went back to pulling open his own gifts.

Sirius moved to a small square package, it was wrapped so neatly he couldn’t get into it, but when he pointed his wand at it and spoke a spell the paper fell off. He found himself gazing down at an empty photo album.

“I wasn’t entirely sure what to get you, as we don’t know each other too well.” Remus said from his bed. “I decided to get you something to put some memories in.”

Sirius opened and closed his mouth for a moment before grinning. “Thanks...That’s really...thoughtful.”

“I had to thank you for saving me from those Slytherin’s and preventing them from reading my Diary.” Remus replied with a shrug.

Peter had got them all scarves in the Gryffindor colours, when Sirius took his out he hesitated, he imagined his mother’s reaction and for a moment regretted his decision in choosing Gryffindor, but then he looked over at James and Remus and decided that he was ok with his choice.

Later they went outside, it was snowing heavily and they were surrounded by people playing in the snow, laughing and chattering loudly. There weren’t many staying behind for the Christmas holidays and Sirius was glad for that as the four Gryffindors walked across the lawn, he smiled and revelled in the feeling of joy that settled into his chest, filling him with warmth. He wore his scarf and jumper but his hair blew free in the biting wind, his cheeks turned pink as he watched some fellow first years run past.

Suddenly James stopped, the other paused and looked back at him, he had a devilish grin on his face. “Snowball fight!” He declared loudly and without another warning lobbed a pile of snow at Remus who spluttered as it hit him in the face, Sirius roared with laughter but was soon cut off when Remus shoved a handful of snow down the back of his coat. The four of them broke out into a rough snowball battle, wands came out and they began creating fortresses made of snow to give them cover, they broke off into two teams and began attacking each other mercilessly, their laughter echoed through the grounds for all to hear.

Sirius crouched, a line of perfectly formed snowballs before him as he levitated them over the wall of his and James’ fortress and fired them at their opponants. There was a squeal and he knew he had hit Peter, he chuckled and his eyes met James’, it was as if a bolt of pure electricity shot down his spine and he sucked in a sharp breath. James’ face was flushed, his hair damp and sticking to his face, his smile was wide and bright and his eyes glittered. Suddenly a shout went up and the two boys jumped, peering over their roughly hewn walls to see an army of small, badly deformed Snowmen slowly marching on them. “Bollocks!” James swore as they ducked down again. “What’s the plan, Siri?”

Sirius chewed his lip a second before grinning. “What is snows biggest weakness?” He said with relish.

“Heat!” James laughed and the pair of them rose so they could see over the wall, their wands pointed at the army and they spoke in unison; Incendio!

“Ah! That’s hardly fair!” Remus shouted at them from his barracks.

“All’s fair in love and War, Remus!” James called back to the sound of Sirius’ laughter.

“Right!” Remus suddenly leapt his barrier and aimed at theirs, they didn’t have time to defend themselves as a wave of heat swept over them, their wall melted like so much water and they ended up soaked to the bone. Remus stood before them smirking. “Yield?”

Sirius sputtered and flicked his wand, Remus slipped and gave a loud yell, the ground beneath turned into a swamp and he scrambled around trying to free himself. James laughed loudly and Peter’s chuckles could be heard from his safe hiding place behind his own snow fortress. “How do you like that?!” Sirius said, he chuckled but his smile fell when he saw Remus point his wand at him, the muttered spell was drowned out by a rumble. Sirius turned to see a large wave of snow rushing towards them, he shouted and tried to dive out the way but he was too late. The snow covered both himself and James from head to foot, they came up sputtering and shivering but laughing wildly none-the-less.

Later the foursome sat curled up by the fire in their common room, they were all dressed in their pyjama’s and their clothes hung above the fireplace dripping and wet but the four boys were smiling as they curled up with each other. Remus curled up at Sirius’ side as he read and Sirius and James played Chess with Peter egging them on. The perfection of that day and evening was almost alien to Sirius, he had never known such pure happiness, at home he had been locked up in his dark house and only been allowed to have a feast on the Twenty First of December. He sighed happily as he moved his Knight to Check James’ King, yes, he realised that nothing could shatter this utter bliss...no darkness could ever touch him at Hogwarts.

On the last day of the Christmas Holidays Sirius received a reply to his letter home, he had asked his mother why she thought Muggles and Muggle borns were so wrong. He had seen Lily Evans and many other Muggle Borns and they didn’t seem evil or greedy, Lily was even quite pretty with her large green eyes and fiery red hair. Walburga’s reply was nothing short of hysterical;

Sirius! I am outraged that you even dared ask me such a thing! Of course these creatures are different to us, they are dirty, vile things that need cleansing from our world. What on earth made you spout such bile? I am shocked and angry by this sudden change. (Sirius secretly thought that it wasn’t that shocking, he had dared mention it when he was five and had got a good beating for it) Our blood is pure, if I hear that my eldest son and heir has been consorting with the kind of wretched creatures that Headmaster associates with I will come down to that school and withdraw you, do you understand? Your father is furious, he has told me that you have been sorted into Gryffindor House! Already this is a betrayal of the highest degree, If I hear any more of this nonsense I will punish you.

Sirius read the letter in the confines of his bed at night, he sighed and crumpled it in one fist. There was no way in hell he would let go of his friendship with James, Remus and Peter, he liked them, he loved their company. He had never had friends before, the closest thing he had ever had to that had been his little brother, he didn’t want to lose something that made him feel so happy. He decided it would be best to keep his friendships a secret, his Mother needn’t know about James.

Sirius walked through the corridor alone, he hummed to himself as he leapt lightly up onto a stone bench and jumped back down when it came to an end, he smiled happily as he reached the bathroom and pushed open the door. He was washing his hands when he heard an odd noise, it was a kind of strangled grunt, he frowned and dried off his hands quickly before moving towards the stalls that lined the small room, his feet were silent, a trick he had learnt quickly at home. He heard it again, this time followed by a sigh and what sounded like a moan. He walked past the stalls until he reached one where he could see shadows moving beneath the door, it was open slightly and he could see two figures moving within. Slowly he pushed it open. “Hello, are you arligh-...” His eyes widened as his vision was assaulted with the image of one seventh year boy pushing another front first against the cubical, their trousers were down around their ankles and Sirius could see everything and an odd shudder shot up his spine as he gaped stupidly at them. He ragined his senses when one of the boy swore loudly.

“Hey! What are you doing?! Get out!”

Sirius nodded dumbly and turned away, he fled out the bathroom and down the corridor, he ran as far away as possible before suddenly collapsing on a nearby stone bench, he was shaking with shock and his heart pounded in his chest. His mind was full of what he had witnessed. Questions rose sluggishly to his mind; what had they been doing? Why were they so close? Had they been kissing? He shivered again and wrapped his arms around himself. He knew what men and women did to make babies, he wasn’t an idiot and he had had it explained to him by his home tutor before Hogwarts, but his mother had assured him that it was a dirty thing to do unless it was for reproduction. He had never even considered that two men could partake in the act, it had never even occurred to him that it was even possible! His tutor had assured him that men could not have babies, so why would they do it? It looked pretty disturbing to him and he failed to see the attraction in it...and yet...something in his mind nagged at him, when he closed his eyes and hung his head he could see something in his mind’s eye; a pale hand reaching out to him in the dark, soft mutters of comfort, the caress of cold fingers on his bare skin...he shuddered violently and stood up as the urge to throw up took hold of him.

Later that evening he hunted down Remus who was sat in the common room working on an essay set by Slughorn. “Psst...Remmy?”

The boy looked up. “Yes?”

“I...Can we talk?” Sirius glanced around the loud room. “Somewhere private?”

Remus noticed his discomfort and nodded. “Of course...we’ll go to the Library, I need to see some books anyway.”

The library was quiet as usual when they arraived, even more so now that it was a Friday and Students were elsewhere. Sirius followed Remus down rows upon rows of books until the boy found what he needed and sat down, Sirius perched on the table, fiddling absently with his robe sleeve. “Well?” Remus said softly, nudging Sirius gently.

“I...maybe this was a bad idea...” He muttered with a frown. “I mean...I just...” He sighed and took a deep breath. “I saw two people at it in the bathroom!” He blurted suddenly, much to Remus’ surprise.

“At it?” Remus asked.

“Yeah...doing the...dirty...right there in the cubical!” His eyes were wide and child-like and Remus giggled.

“So?”

“So?! What do you mean, So?! They were s-shagging! In public!” Remus simply raised an eyebrow. Sirius shifted uneasily. “they were two blokes! With penis’ and everything! It was weird...and...” He closed his mouth, shutting off his thoughts, not that he was sure where he was going to go with that rant but Remus was looking as if he was going to laugh. “What?!”

“Well...it’s...perfectly normal for some people, Sirius.” He stood and began moving through the books, Sirius followed.

“Normal? How can that be normal?”

Remus shrugged. “Natures a funny thing...” He said absently before pausing and withdrawing a relatively knew book and handing it to Sirius. “Here, this explains the birds and the bees.”

“I know what they were doing, Remus.” Sirius replied with a roll of his eyes. “But what I mean is two men can’t make babies! It’s impossible!”

Remus raised an eyebrow. “So?”

Sirius let out a soft whine of frustration. “So, its weird! Why would you do something so disgusting unless it was to procreate!”

“For an intelligent boy Sirius, you can be very stupid. Look,” Remus cut Sirius off before he could retaliate. “My mum told me that sex isn’t just about creating babies, she told me that it was a thing people who are in love do, no matter who they are.”

“So...so it’s alright for two men to do it?” Sirius frowned down at the book in his hands.

“Pages twenty three to thirty will explain it, I don’t want to...still makes me feel queasy. You’re twelve now Siri, you’re hitting puberty.”

Sirius looked up, blinking slightly. “Yeah? And?”

“And you’re going to go through certain changes...I...bloody hell! Just read the book will you.”

That very night Sirius found himself sat up in bed and reading the book by wandlight with his bed curtains drawn around him. He was amazed by the pictures in the book, moving pictures and diagrams that described in scientific detail about what happened during same-sex intercourse. Sirius realised with a jolt that his mother hadn’t told him everything and now he felt stupid and childish, he huffed and turned a page angrily, he shouldn’t have to read through a book to learn this stuff, he should have been told. Suddenly he froze on an image of a pair of men in the act of intercourse, he gazed intently at their faces, watching them and he realised that they looked like they were actually enjoying it. A queer jolt went through him, twisting slightly in his spine, he shivered uncontrollably and suddenly put the book aside, burying it deep in his draws. He didn’t like that feeling, it made him feel strange and, as he closed his eyes to sleep, he once again saw that hand and heard that all too familiar voice...

Hush, it’s alright Siri, I love you...you know that, don’t you?
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Amore et Amicitia