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Living in the shadows	By : KusanoSaku Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Remus/Sirius Views: 1992 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: The Harry Potter francise does not belong to me. I own only the plot and I make no money off of this.

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Title: Living in the shadows

Pairing: SiriusxRemus

Fandom : HP

Summary: Remus is in mourning for Sirius and relieves his past with the man he loved. Will his memories remind him that he is worthy of love? Slight prequel to Undeniable.

Notes: Obviously I don't own HP…if I had…well there would have been Draco and Harry in the end and not Harry and Ginny.

Chapter two

Two years later…

Remus was escorted out to the Whomping Willow by Nurse Pomfrey who let him call her Poppy. He smiled wearily at, her "Thanks Poppy…"

She shrugged and sealed him in…

Remus was alone, it wasn't as scary beneath this strange old tree as it was the first time…

His friends worried about his disappearing for five nights every month or so…he told them he was fine. He tried to act fine but he was always sore and tired when he returned the morning after a full moon. It was scary how attentive they were, then again they shared a dormitory.

He was become more aware of his feelings…

James and Sirius were attractive but Sirius was the more attentive. He tried to tempt him with food he liked when he joined them for breakfast and insisted on being study partners. James, Sirius and himself aced DADA, he and Sirius always had top marks in Charms, Sirius and James were brilliant at Quidditch and Transformation. Remus was the only one who did well at History of magic. It usually fell to him to edit and offer suggestions for all of their papers. Peter barely passed anything and was always in James' shadow. James kept trying to get Lily's attention but she was always with that Slytherin Snape who was like a god at potions, even though she was a Gryffindor. Only Sirius was any good out of their group at potions…

He shook in the cool dampness beneath the Whomping Willow and its tunnel to the Shrieking Shack he hated this curse. He howled, whimpering in pain as the first part of the transformation.

Remus was unaware they had followed him, that they heard him…

He felt his spine pop and then realign, his hands turned to claws and he was on all fours. He threw himself at the walls of the Shrieking Shack. It hurt to transform…to lose control to the wolf…

He still tried to fight it…not wanting it to win…even though he lost every time…and always would…

In the morning he awoke to see Poppy standing over him with dittany and potions, while he shook from cold. She held out a robe, he caught a shimmer beside her as if the air moved and faint gasps. James? No…he wouldn't be here…it looked like the cloak…

He coughed drinking the healing potions and let her rub the medicine onto his bruised and broken body. When he felt like he could move, he stood slowly and wrapped the robe around his body.

Poppy led him out of the tree and he made his way towards the castle, when he was alone he heard his name, "Remus?"

Remus turned slowly, wincing, "James?"

The cloak slid off revealing James and Sirius…

James' eyes were filled with sorrow but Sirius' eyes held something else…

Please not pity…

James rest a hand lightly on Remus' shoulder, "Why didn't you tell us? Aren't we friends?"

Remus shook, "I didn't want you to hate me. I'm a monster…"

Sirius laughed, "Remy, a monster? I'm scarier then you…"

James smiled, "You'll always be our friend…"

Remus hugged them, his hug with James was longer because he wouldn't react…

Sirius the playboy of Gryffindor smiled at him, "Come on…we all need a shower and a wake up potion…"

Remus shook his head, "I'm fine…"

It wasn't the first time that they walked him back the morning after a transformation.

XoooooX

Not long after they'd walked him back that first time, Remus' friends were starting to be secretive, they finished their homework really fast and were sneaking off. They would be having a conversation but would change the subject when he would show up. It hurt…what had he done? Did they decided he was unsafe to befriends with?

He went to bed early and sobbed softly, losing a friendship with Sirius hurt the most. So he pretended to be asleep when they came up.

Sirius whispered, "We have to tell him…we're hurting him. James you know I like your idea and we're working so hard but please I don't like hurting him…"

James shook his head, "You read the same books I did; you know we aren't fast enough…we have to be fast or it will never work. Sirius is the fastest and the strongest but we need to be faster."

Peter gulped, "I still don't like this…it's too dangerous."

James laid his hand on the shortest boy, "He's our friend…he's lonely…he's scared. He needs us…if our plan works you'll safe, you're tiny…"

Peter whined, "James…"

Sirius walk over to Remus' bed, "I'll protect you Remy…I swear…" his voice so low only a wolf could hear.

Remus blushed, "You're too good to me…" he slipped into a dream his wolf approved; filled with heated kisses, touches that burned and familiar eyes. It wasn't until he woke and he took one look at a sleepy Sirius that he realized…Sirius had been in the dream…that's when he fell off the bed in shock…

Sirius was there in an instant checking him for bruises, "Are you okay?"

Remus' body tended to get weak as the full moon approached, he tended to fall or trip more often and his friends ended up having to save him. He blushed, "I'm fine…I'm just a little disoriented this morning."

The look in Sirius' eyes suggested his words weren't completely believed…

Remus stood slowly took a few deep breathes before walking to his trunk to dig out his clothes. He always dressed without looking at his friends, he was ashamed of what they would say if they knew….

Yes Remus Lupin the werewolf was gay…and he had the hots for the Playboy of Gryffindor. He closed his eyes and cursed himself. He'd been raised among Muggles he knew very well the prejudices of being attracted to men when you were one. He was a werewolf and everyone hated them so he was better of alone.

He spent the next few weeks barely speaking to anyone and practically burying himself in his studies. When Sirius asked if he could help he snarled at him, "Back the hell off. I don't need a mother…"

Sirius turned four shades of red and left the library, James's face was filled with confusion as he glanced at Remus and Sirius' retreating back. It was the day before the full moon again…that must be it…

When Remus woke up he was in the lap of a sobbing Sirius , he stared at him. "What are you doing?" being naked with the person you want more then anything holding you was not something he was ecstatic to wake up to…

Sirius blinked, "I thought I hurt you…"

Remus stared, "What are you talking about?"

Sirius turned red, "Yesterday, after you yelled at me…I lost my temper with Snivellus. I told him something I never intended. If he thought your illness was so fascinating he should follow you himself. I never expected he would do it. I saw him on the map heading for you…I was so afraid you might hurt him. It would be my fault…" if Remus attacked another student he would be thrown out of Hogwarts…

Remus pushed him away, "He knows my secret? Sirius how could you do that? I hate you!"

Sirius stammered, "He never saw you…I swear it…I was almost too late…I knocked him out first. My size helped. Unfortunately James and Peter had to clean up my mess while I distracted Moony."

Remus glared, "Moony?" then he realized that Sirius had claw marks on his chest and arms, he sobbed, "Merlin no! What have I done?"

Sirius sighed, caressing one of Remus' newer scars, "This…is mine. Moony enjoyed it…"

Remus stared at him, "Moony?"

"Your wolf Remy, he can be quite entertaining. I never changed so fast before…"

"What are you talking about?"

Sirius shrugged and turned into the largest black dog he'd ever seen, "Remy…meet Padfoot…"

Remus reached to stroke the soft warm fur, "You're…"

"An animagus…so are James and Peter…James is a stag…I call him Prongs…and Peter…is a rat. We need someone who could get to the knot to still that damn tree. Besides, Peter would do anything for James. I swear that runt thinks James is god or something…"

Remus cuddled into the warm body, both he and 'Moony' were comforted by his presence. "You promise I didn't hurt him…"

Sirius chuckled, "Yes…apparently Moony find Padfoot attractive. Being a Black has it's perks…we can be quite kinky…and I must say Moony is intriguing…"

Remus coughed, "Intriguing? He's a monster Siri…look what he did to you…he might have bitten you…"

Sirius licked the deep scratch over Remus' nipple, "He won't bit me…I can't vouch for anyone else though. I had Moony pinned, the wounds are superficial he didn't really hurt me. I kind of liked it…" a blush covered the large boy's cheeks.

Remus stared at him, Siri couldn't LIKE him could him? This was too much…

There was a noise of someone coming…

Sirius grabbed James' cloak from where he stashed it last night and hid in time to avoid being seen by Madam Pomfrey.

Remus was in shock, "Morning Poppy…" he accepted his potions and the robe, "Thanks…I needed these…" he was slightly overwhelmed this morning and was shock to sense calm from his wolf. What the hell had Siri done to him? Sirius was waiting for him sans cloak inside the Castle waiting for him…he blushed slightly, "Hey…"

Sirius' eyes sparkled with mischief, "Hello yourself Remy." he smirked at Poppy, "I'll make sure he gets up to the Tower and gets a decent breakfast…"

Remus shifted nervously.

Pomfrey nodded, "Make sure he takes it easy…he's not well…"

Sirius never let on that he knew the truth about Remus' illness, "I always do, we're best friends…"

Remus blushed as Sirius' arm rest on his shoulders, "You don't have to…shouldn't you be getting those taken care of…" his claws had slashed Sirius…

Sirius shrugged, "I knew it was a possibility, it comes with the territory. If they are treated then I can't hide what they are or how they were made. I made plenty of healing and energy potions, I'll be fine…"

Sirius had a gentle side…but apparently he also had a deviant side. Remus let Sirius take him up to their dorm, it was still early and everyone should be asleep.

Sirius pushed Remus towards the shower, "I'll get you something comfortable, it's a weekend, so you can rest. James can have a house elf bring us a tray."

Remus blushed, letting the robe fall to the bathroom floor. He stood for a minute and let the hot water relax him before he slowly washed his body. He was tired and sore, he ran soapy fingers over his skin blushed as he brushed the fresh scars on his body. He dried and turned to see Sirius staring at him, he blushed, "Siri…" his private nickname slipped past his lips in a whine of embarrassment…

Sirius grinned, "No need to be shy…I came to give you some clothes…" he handed them to his friend, brushing his check with a kiss, "Get dressed and come lay down with me…" if he was sleeping with Remus as if they'd fallen asleep together like they'd been talking. James was going to have his head for his pathetic little stunt with Snivellus…

Remus dressed and went to sit on Sirius' bed.

Sirius lifted the sheets and patted the space next to him, "You need rest Remy…last night was hard for you. I'm sorry…."

Remus slid beside him, "Don't think I've forgiven you for putting Snape in jeopardy…" he gently caressed one of the claw marks beneath Sirius' shirt, "But…perhaps, Moony punished you…"

Sirius moaned softly, "If that's his idea of punishment…then I'll spend every with you in the Shrieking shack when you're detained in the Shrieking Shack."

Remus blushed, "If that's what you want…"

Sirius wrapped an arm around his waist, yawning, "It's what we both want…"

Remus fell asleep with a smile on his face, his friends really did cared about him…

What do you think? Outstanding? Exceeds Expectations? Acceptable? Poor? Dreadful? Troll?
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Living in the shadows