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Secret Affair: Love and Despair	By : InuOniShi Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Draco/Ginny Views: 11033 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or the characters of said fandom. I do not profit from my writing, it's simply for my enjoyment.

Chapter List
- 2
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- 4
Secret Affair: Love and Despair

Chapter 3: Feelings

Light streamed in from the windows chasing away the shadows. Seven beds each held a slumbering figure wrapped up in a red duvet. Ginny groaned and covered her head with the heavy material trying to block out the sun. She had stayed up late last night studying and knew she would pay for it this morning, it still didn't mean she had to accept it.

Several of her dorm mates began moving around, readying themselves for the day. Xavia wisely chose to leave her red-haired friend alone, she knew that her friend was not a morning person and even worse when she was lethargic. Rolling onto her other side, Ginny attempted to hide from the coming day, wishing she could simply go back to sleep.

It had been two days since Draco had kissed her. A part of her wanted to do it again, craved to feel the high that only he had ever given her. The other part of her was drowning in guilt. Her heart felt heavy and her mind constantly fretted about what Harry would do, say and feel when or if he ever found out about her misdeed.

It was nerve racking and she found herself jumpier than usual and unable to face Harry. If her boyfriend noticed a difference in her behaviour, he certainly hadn't said anything. Then again, he didn't seem all that concerned with spending time with her. The only time she truly saw him was during meals and after dinner when everyone gathered in the common room before bed.

Even knowing all this, she still couldn't douse her guilt. Her homework for the past couple days had been left untouched, her mind much to concerned with her fears to even focus. Xavia promised that it would get easier, that the guilt would lessen and she would be able to concentrate again. But, how long would that take? Days, months, years or till she finally told the truth? Despite being a Gryffindor, she didn't have the courage to tell Harry the truth. She wasn't sure she ever would want to.

Her guilt was only growing worse as she found herself rather frequently thinking about her kisses with Draco and wishing for more. She hoped, more often then not, that Xavia would call upon her to go to her meetings with Blaise just so she could get another taste of Draco's lips. Her cheeks burnt. She felt like such a wanton slut, a whore begging for fulfilment. She was embarrassed by her own thoughts and her body's reaction to the blonde haired Slytherin.

A warm hand appeared on her shoulder and Xavia whispered softly, “come on, Gin. You can't hide in here forever. It's Friday and classes will begin soon.”

Ginny quickly readied herself for the day. She wished it was the weekend, so she could wallow in her thoughts, cuddled up inside her warm winter blankets. A sigh passed her lips as she left the dorms. Xavia smiled at her when she reached the common room and fell into step beside her as they headed for breakfast.

“You okay, Gin?”

“I'm fine.”

“You seem a little down,” Xavia frowned, “are you upset with me?”

Startled, Ginny snapped her head to the side to stare at her friend, “why would you think that?”

She fidgeted under her intense gaze, “it's just that, ever since that afternoon, you have kind of been avoiding me. I thought maybe you were blaming me for what happened and taking it out on me.”

“What,” the redhead nearly shrieked, “why would I blame you? It wasn't your fault. I just... have a lot on my mind, that's all.”

“I remember after the first kiss, I felt guilty for days. Every new kiss left me even worse then the one before,” Xavia ran her fingers through her hair tousling it, “It took me a full month to finally accept what was happening, to stop feeling guilty and just enjoy it. I still have my bouts of extreme sadness and guilt, but it's hard not to want and take what he offers and it's even harder to just go back to the way things used to be, before what he showed me passion truly could be.”

“I don't want to hurt Harry, you know,” Ginny whispered pathetically, “I just can't stop thinking about him. I feel like such a dirty tramp.”

“Ginny,” the blonde gasped, her right hand flying up to cover her gaping mouth, “how could you say that about yourself! You know as well as I that you are no such thing! Listen, you don't have to come with me when I see him, you don't have to continue on the same path as I am. But, sometimes, you just have to do something for yourself and stop thinking about others. When has any one else held us above their own happiness? Almost never, so why should we hold theirs above our own?”

“But, this is wrong,” she hissed.

“I said the same thing to Blaise and he asked me, who said this is wrong? You? Me? Or was it someone else? The only opinion that matters is our own. I don't feel guilty for what I'm doing, but I do feel guilty about how much pain Wyatt will feel when he finds out what I'm doing. I don't think being with Blaise like this is wrong.”

“So, it's okay for me not to feel guilty about kissing him,” Ginny mumbled, her words almost too quiet for Xavia to hear.

“Of course and it's just as equally okay to feel guilty about what this will mean to Harry. You just have to really think about what it is you want and go for it,” Xavia stated, “just remember, there is no right or wrong choice. Because no matter what way you choose to go, there will always be someone who gets hurt. Now come on, let's go get some food.”

~~~£~~~

Classes blurred by, she paid no attention to the teachers as she thought over her best friend's words. What she had said made sense to her. These last six years in Hogwarts Ginny had done everything in her power to please everyone around her, mostly Harry, Ron and Hermione. The three took her for granted, she knew this, but she had still waited on them hand and foot.

They had ignored her for years, pushing her to the back burner as if though she wasn't there. They greedily took everything she offered and never gave her anything back in return. When she needed help, she always had to fall back on Xavia and Colin. The two didn't mind, but the golden trio could never be bothered with such things.

Even now that she was Harry's girlfriend, she found herself sitting on the sidelines while him, her brother and her brother's girlfriend continued their life as they had all the many years before. There were times where Harry would seek her out for a romantic date and then he would simply return back to his friends as if nothing had even happened.

He hadn't even been interested in sex. They had been dating for almost a year now and he never even once tried to touch her, or come on to her. His hands always maintained a respectable position on her body and their kisses never varied. At times she felt like they were already an old married couple, comfortable in their relationship and never seeking to spice it up.

Not for the first time, her mind pulled forth the memories of Draco's lips on her's, his hands roaming her stomach and back, under her shirt. A shiver danced down her spine and her eyes fell closed in reminiscent pleasure. She truly cared for Harry, but somehow, for some reason, Draco made her feel alive. He made her feel needed and wanted, that someone truly desired to have her around.

However, no matter what he made her feel, she knew she had to be careful if she continued a physical relationship with him. He probably could never love her. She would have to guard her feelings completely to protect herself from falling in love with him. If she could keep her feelings out of it, there wouldn't be any harm in pursuing Draco as a snogging partner.

Briefly she wondered if he would even understand how to love, or even knew what love was. She would not be the one to fall in love, no, she would enjoy what they can have and leave it at that. Emotions were no good in a situation like this. After all, even if he ever cared for her, he would never want the world to know and she could never hide her love. That was impossible.

With her mind made up, she sought out Xavia at lunch. The blonde was sitting next to Colin, happily digging into her food. Taking a seat across from them, Ginny piled a generous amount onto her plate.

“Hey, Gin,” Colin grinned up at her, “heard you got in trouble with McGonagall for not paying attention in class.”

She chuckled nervously, “yeah. I was a little distracted.”

“Well, we can't all be like Hermione, right,” Xavia piped up.

The three shared a laugh. Hermione was one of the few students that would never let anything distract her from class. Many joked about how studious the girl was, but most simply did it because they were envious of her. Wishing they too could be as devoted and got as good of grades as she.

“What do you ladies have planned during your free hour,” Colin glanced between the two.

Ginny answered before Xavia could, “just some girl time.”

“I wish my free period wasn't right before lunch, I miss hanging out with you two,” his displeasure shown plainly on his face.

“Well, how about Saturday the three of us get together and go to the room of requirement,” Xavia inquired.

“I'm free,” Ginny consented.

“Sounds like a date,” Colin exclaimed excitedly.

The smiles on his friends faces were priceless, their happiness glowed around them as if everything was right in the world. Not being able to help it, he quickly brought up his camera and snapped a picture. Xavia glared at him and lightly slapped his arm. Ginny and Colin laughed causing her to huff in annoyance.

“You better be getting to class, it starts in a couple minutes.”

The girls walked their friend to the stairs and waved as he disappeared over the top.

“So I take it you made your decision,” Xavia turned to her friend.

“I think... I think it will be okay. I want to go with you again,” Ginny nodded, trying desperately to hide the rising blush.

“Then we should get going, they should be waiting already.”

~~~£~~~

Blaise paced at the back of the classroom. His foot steps loud against the stone floor. Draco sat, seemingly without a care in the world, his feet propped up on a desk tilting his chair back onto it's hind legs. Draco wasn't blind or stupid, he knew exactly what was making his friend so agitated. The last couple days Xavia had ditched him for her boyfriend. He, himself, had been rather put out having wanted to experience another round of snogging with the Gryffindor that had caught his fancy.

This year was different, far more than any other year. His father was in prison and it felt as if the weight of the world was finally off his shoulders. Like his lungs could finally fill with sweet fresh air allowing him to breath freely. With out his father's constant remarks most of the hate and prejudice he had been taught fled, leaving him free to think how he so wished.

Blinded by his father's hate, he had never realized his attraction to the beautiful red haired Gryffindor until his best friend mentioned how gorgeous Xavia and Ginny had grown up to be. That had also been the day that Blaise confessed to fancying the blonde. At the time they were in sixth year and unable to act on their feelings.

Once their parents and Voldemort were no longer an issue and they could date whomever they wanted both girls were already in relationships. Blaise, always the deep thinker, pointed out that neither of the girls would take them seriously. They would think they were joking if they asked them out and would believe they were doing it simply to hurt them or their friends and family.

When Blaise had seen Xavia that day at the beginning of the school year, he couldn't stop himself from tricking her out of a kiss. He had wanted so desperately to do so, and hoped that in stealing said kiss that he could push her from his mind and move forward with his life. His playboy ways were suffering under his attraction to the blonde just as Draco's were suffering cause of the redhead.

Draco had been angry that Blaise was able to procure a relationship with Xavia, even if it was only one in secret, while he was unable to with Ginny. He was even more displeased when his best friend asked him to be his cover story, but the displeasure quickly disappeared when he was given the chance to pursue Ginny. Now, he was grateful for everything Blaise had done this year, for it was all his doing, all of his meddling that allowed Draco his snog with Ginny.

Though, instead of the boys want for the Gryffindors fading after finally having some form of physical contact with them, it had merely increased it. Draco found himself craving to corner Ginny and demand another kiss, to demand that she allow him to touch her. His torturous body and mind refused to allow him to think of anyone else, Blaise also suffered the same fate with Xavia.

Despite Xavia's beliefs, Blaise couldn't bring himself to lie with another. In fact, both of them had stopped sleeping around since the middle of last school year. Of course no one knew this, still believing the two were their usual playboy selves and neither did anything to correct it allowing others to believe what they will. They were regretting this decision for it will be harder to dispel the rumours now.

Blaise threw himself into a chair with a huff, “it wasn't suppose to turn out this way.”

“What are you going on about,” Draco raised an eyebrow in question.

“This was only suppose to be a passing fancy,” the darker skinned boy sighed, “she was suppose to be like all the other girls. I would lose interest after I had her and move on to find someone else.”

Grey eyes widened, “are you falling in love with her?”

“More and more everyday,” Blaise mumbled miserably.

“Even if she fell in love with you, I doubt she would ever want to be with you publicly. It would tarnish her good name. Maybe you should end it now.”

“That's just it, I can't,” he threw his hands up in frustration, “I've tried! Every single time I try to tell her that we should stop seeing each other, she offers herself to me and I just can't stop myself. After we are finished, all thoughts of breaking it off are gone, replaced with hopes of her choosing me over Laverick.”

“You might not want to break it off with her, but what would make her choose you over her long term boyfriend,” Draco taunted, “after all you are just a no good Slytherin.”

“Don't you think I know this,” Blaise snapped, “can you honestly say that you won't develop feelings for Weasley? What will you do if you fall in love with her? Would you just call it quits and give up hope?”

The blonde boy froze staring wide eyed at his friend. What would he do if he fell in love with a Weasley? Obviously, she would never be open for a relationship with him. Her vast family would never approve of him after all the horrible things his father had done and all the times he had tormented them. Maybe, he should take his own advice and call it quits before it even started, he was already far to attached to Weasley as it was.

The door to the classroom opened startling the two boys. Xavia walked in with a scowl on her face followed by a laughing Ginny.

“Come on, it isn't that bad,” the red head chided.

“I'm tired of it,” Xavia reached up and pulled the band out of her magically dyed black hair letting it fall freely down her back, “don't you think he has enough pictures of us as it is? He takes at least a hundred every year!”

“Yeah, but he is our friend and we always look amazing in all of the pictures he takes. He has the eyes for that kind of thing,” Ginny shrugged off her cloak.

“I suppose, it's still annoying with how often he takes pictures,” she turned toward the other two occupying the room, “hey boys. Sorry about being late. Colin stalled at lunch and almost made himself late for class.”

“And Wyatt stopped us before we could head down here,” Ginny shook her head, “I swear that boy would forget his head if it wasn't attached.”

Blaise stiffened, “are you staying?”

“Of course,” Xavia smiled, “he just needed to borrow my quill and ink.”

“Why didn't he just go to his common room and get his own,” Draco questioned.

“He missed placed his, he doesn't know where he left them. It's not the first time and it won't be the last either,” Ginny rolled her eyes.

“Sometimes I think he should be the blonde one,” Xavia laughed.

Ginny pulled herself onto a desk, “hey Vi, what are your plans tonight?”

She moved over to Blaise, gently sitting down in the chair next to him, “I'm not sure, haven't thought about it. Why?”

“I was wondering if you could help me with my homework.”

“I don't see why not. Unless you wanted to see me tonight,” Xavia turned her blue eyes onto Blaise.

“You are offering to see me twice in one day,” his eyes widened.

“Within reason. I don't want to be out past curfew again,” she grinned, throwing an amused look at the blush Ginny was sporting.

“Will you be going to the second meeting,” Draco inquired, darkening Ginny's already red cheeks.

“I don't know,” she shifted nervously under his gaze, “maybe.”

“There will be plenty of time to do homework and I promise to get us to bed before eleven,” Xavia pleaded.

“Alright, I'll go,” she relented.

“Speaking of go,” Draco stood and gently pulled Ginny from her perch on the desk, “we should let them have their time,” glancing over his shoulder he looked pointedly at his friend, “forty minutes.”

Blaise rolled his eyes at his friend's actions. Draco had been quite peeved about their interruption last time, but it had been for the best as they were almost late for class. Good thing the girls were in a lower year, otherwise people would be able to put two and two together as they often ran late on their after lunch meetings. It was also better that Wyatt was in a completely different house then Xavia. Ginny, however, was dating someone of the same house. If they ran late on an after dinner meeting, she would have to find some really good excuse for being out past curfew.

As the door closed, Blaise pinned Xavia with his obsidian eyes, “Xavia, what is going on? You never allow me to see you twice in one day so I know something is up.”

“It's my apology to you,” she gave him a soft smile, “I said I would be there the last two days and I ended up having to stand you up both times. I feel bad for leaving you sitting in this room until you realized I wasn't coming and came looking for me.”

“What did Laverick want that was so important you couldn't at least come down here and let me know you were busy,” he forced himself to keep his voice straight, not allowing the jealousy behind the words to seep into his words.

“Wyatt wouldn't let me leave because it was urgent and needed to speak about it right away. We didn't finish talking about it the first night so the following night he intercepted me on my way to the dungeon and we finished the conversation,” she shrugged.

Blaise clinched his jaw, not liking the way left out what they talked about, “is it so personal you can't tell me what the conversation was about?”

Xavia startled, “oh I didn't think you would want to hear it since it's family problems. Wyatt's mum found out she is pregnant.”

“What does that have to do with you,” his brow scrunched up in confusion.

“I'm a foster child,” she sighed, “his parents are my foster parents.”

“What about your real parents?”

“What about them? They gave me up as a toddler, they didn't have the means to care for me.”

Blaise frowned, “so what's so important about his mum being pregnant?”

“They don't have the means to care for three children, so they told him they found me another foster family and I'll be going there this summer instead of to their house. Even if she wasn't pregnant I wouldn't be allowed home because of my relationship with Wyatt and would end up spending the summer at the Weasley's again like last summer.”

“How long have they been your foster family?”

“Almost four years,” she grinned, “the longest I've ever been with one family. Granted, I turn seventeen right after I begin my seventh year and no longer need a foster family, I still have to have one over summer.”

“It doesn't bother you that they are just going to give you up, just like that,” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I've had other families give me up for all different kinds of reasons,” she shrugged nonchalantly, “some as simple as not being ready to care for children to their children not liking me. I try not to take it to heart.”

He didn't know what to say to that. He had no clue what foster life was like and Xavia always had a smile on her face. She was always laughing and joking with her friends, and like Draco constantly acted like there wasn't a single problem in the world. Even now, knowing her foster family was giving her up, she was acting as if nothing was happening and life was still perfect.

“Enough about me,” she stood, seductively leaning over him, their lips only millimetres apart, “let's enjoy ourselves while we still have time.”

~~~£~~~

Ginny sighed in delight as Draco helped her onto a desk and grazed her lips with his. Her arms wrapped around his shoulders, teasing the ends of his hair with her fingertips. He pulled back slightly, giving her a lazy smirk as he rested his forehead against her's. He truly was breathtakingly handsome. She moved her right hand in between them and traced his lips with the tip of her pointer finger. They were just as soft to the touch as they were against her own.

“Which one is the real you,” she couldn't help but ask.

“The real me,” he leaned back staring at her as if she had gone crazy.

She giggled, the look on his face priceless, “which personality is the real you? How you act in public towards my brother, Harry and Hermione, or how you act here when we are alone? I've never seen you act like this, free to laugh and smile. It's so unlike who I thought you were.”

“You know who my father is and what he expected of me,” Draco told her, “what you see in public is the 'mask', as Blaise calls it, that I created to gain my father's approval. Without him around, I'm free to be who I want to be, though I have a reputation to uphold in public, in private with people I'm sure won't go blabbing my secret there is no issue with being myself.”

A beautiful smile lit up her face before she leaned forward and kissed his jaw line. Her small pink tongue darted out, running along the edge before slipping up to trace his lips. Here when they were alone, he trusted her with his secret. Trusted her enough to be himself and not hide under the mask. But, why? She had never given him a reason to trust her, so why was he putting his reputation on the line when it came to her?

Maybe he was simply doing it so she would let him kiss her, or he knew she had no way to tell. If she thought about telling someone about his true personality it would require tattling on herself. Suddenly his lips parted and his tongue danced around hers, throwing all thought out of her mind. His larger hands circled around her waist and pulled her flush against him.

As he explored her back, she allowed herself to explore his chest. The hard planes of muscle from Quidditch twitched and bunched as her fingers touched them. She traced his pecks before tracing the four pack on his stomach, she could feel the faint hint of the start of a six pack. As she reached his hips she traced the start of the v there, only letting her fingers go to the edge of his pants before moving them around to his back and tracing her way up.

A soft groan of pleasure and disappointment slipped from Draco as he pulled away from their kiss to trail his lips down her neck. Ginny's head fell to the side allowing him further access to the sensitive skin. Goose flesh rose on her arms as the tingles of pleasure ignited a fire inside her body. Lost in the sensation she barely registered the moan that slipped passed her lips.

Draco pulled away and stepped back, leaning against the opposite desks. His erection visibly throbbed against it's material prison, the pain almost unbearable. He took a few steady breaths to calm himself. Ginny blushed, trying to keep her eyes from staring at the lower half of his body. As a virgin, the sight both scared and excited her. Despite the fear, it was nice to know that she effected him just as much as he effected her.

Attempting to get his mind off of things Ginny wasn't ready for he ventured for conversation, his voice coming out husky from desire, “tell me, Weasley, what does Johnston feel for Blaise?”

She stared at him in confusion, her lust fogged mind barely recognised the question, “she trusts him. She told me she isn't in love with him, but she has to care for him in some way. She isn't the kind of person to have sex with someone she doesn't like or care for.”

“What about you, Weasley? Do you go around snogging people you don't care for?”

“What,” she sputtered, “I can't say I like you, but I don't hate you.”

“You don't hate me,” he smirked, “that wasn't what you said the other day.”

“You were being a jerk to my brother,” she huffed crossing her arms over her chest, “I can't help what I say when I'm angry.”

He chuckled, “of course not. After all, the famous Weasley temper is very hard to control.”

“Hey,” she cried out.

The rest of her sentence was left uncompleted when Draco stepped forward and sealed her lips with his. All thought and anger at his simple teasing left her and the heat returned. He wasted no time and pushed his tongue between her lips. She groaned and arched her back, pressing her chest against his. His hands dipped under her shirt, gently teasing her flat stomach with his fingertips.

Tingles of pleasure shivered up her spine making her moan into his mouth. Draco echoed her noise, losing himself in the moment he rubbed his erection against the apex of her thighs.

“Malfoy, wait,” Ginny pulled away franticly.

“Relax, Weasley. I won't do anything you don't want me to,” he chuckled darkly, “besides, I'm not so uncouth that I would deny a virgin her first time in a bed.”

A deep blush sprouted on her cheeks and travelled down her neck disappearing under her shirt, “how did you know?”

“You're dating Potter,” his voice filled heavily with mirth, “he wouldn't know the signs that a girl was begging him to take her even if she laid naked in front of him and screamed it.”

Ginny tried desperately to stop herself from giggling, “that was really mean of you, Malfoy.”

He grinned wickedly, “but, you obviously know it's true.”

Her laughter spilt forth as she nodded her head, “the boy is truly clueless.”

“Not nearly as much as your brother.”

“No, not even close,” her hands wrapped around her stomach and her eyes watered in her mirth.

Who would have thought that she would be here with Draco joking about her boyfriend and brother? She never knew he had a humorous side that wasn't based off sarcasm. To make it all more impossible, she was down here to cheat on her boyfriend with him. It was crazy, like she was dreaming and would wake up to realize that none of this happened, it all seemed so unreal.

She was here to snog Draco Malfoy and in the process she was joking around with him and actually having a good time outside of their kissing. He was so different then she ever thought he could be. All this time she believed he truly was that dark cruel bastard he pretended to be, the act he put on for his father. It was pleasing to know that he truly was just like everyone else. Just another boy with emotion and the ability to express it, who simply had a hard and dark past.

She reached out to him, her hand cupped the back of his neck. His eyes snapped up and locked with her's, she gave him a serene smile as she pulled him towards her. Gently, almost lovingly, she caressed his lips with her own. His body stiffened for a moment before he relaxed. Tenderly he held her as they kissed. Slowly and softly, allowing their lips and bodies to touch in a soft caress of clothing and skin.

~~~£~~~

The cold stone wall chilled her back as the front of her was heated by Blaise's hot skin. His lips brushed her neck, his tongue darting out to taste the flesh. Her legs and arms wrapped around him at his waist and shoulders, securing her hold on him. His hands laid flat against the wall on either side of her and his legs were spread slightly to help her stay up.

He groaned in pleasure as he slammed himself inside her. Xavia moaned his name breathlessly, gasping and begging for more. Blaise moved his hands to her hips and picked up his pace. His fingers dug into her flesh and his short blunt fingernails tore into skin. Xavia's fingers clinched in response on the sides of his neck giving him the same marks upon his flesh.

Their lips locked, tongues eagerly sliding through their parted lips to explore the other's mouth. Muffled sounds of pleasure still rang throughout the room mixed with the heavy sounds of their skin slapping at each thrust. Xavia cried out as she found her peak, her velvet walls constricting hard around him causing Blaise to find his only seconds later.

Shakily she untangled herself from him and slid down to stand on her feet. Blaise smiled at her, a warm heartfelt one that she had only ever seen him use on her. She returned it in kind, planting another kiss on his already swollen lips. They dressed as quickly as they could. According to the clock on the far wall, they only had six minutes to make it to their classes.

Throwing her hair back up into it's usual pony tail, Xavia rushed from the classroom and almost collided with an equally flushed and rumpled Gryffindor. Ginny gave her a grin and straightened Xavia's tie. Xavia giggled and helped her friend with her vest. Blaise finally emerged from the room to stand by his Slytherin friend, watching the two girls right each other's clothes.

“It wouldn't look good if your clothes weren't immaculate,” Ginny snickered, “you have always been a stickler about your appearance.”

Xavia rolled her eyes, “being raised prim and proper will do that to ya. Now, let's get to class before Colin starts to wonder and asks us why we are late. I'm running out of excuses.”

“After two months of almost daily meetings, I can't say I'm surprised,” Blaise grinned.

“Don't push your luck, Blaise,” she stuck her tongue out at him then winked, “say bye to Draco, Ginny, we really need to go.”

Ginny shook her head and chuckled, “see you later, boys.”

Xavia waved over her shoulder, “right after dinner, okay?”

“We'll be here,” Blaise called back, while Draco simply inclined his head.

The last thing the boys heard before the girls vanished from sight was, “wait, when did you start calling Malfoy by his given name?”

Xavia shrugged, “well, I guess the other day. If he knows what Blaise and I are doing, and he is willing to do the same thing with you, he can't be all that bad, can he? I mean he obviously doesn't hate Gryffindors as much as we thought he did, and he has changed a lot. He is Blaise's best friend, and honestly, I don't want to be his enemy any more.”

“I know he has changed. I mean, look at him! He actually smiles and laughs! He even cracked a couple jokes while we were alone! It's like he is a whole different person actually. It's hard to see him in public acting like an ass, now that I've seen what he really can be like,” Ginny frowned, “is Zabini like Malfoy?”

“In the way he acts? Yeah for the most part. Blaise is much more free with emotion then Draco ever has been. He isn't afraid to laugh and joke around even in front of his house mates. Though, he still has an image to upkeep and you know where that lands the two, making fun of our house,” they shared a laugh, “but truthfully, Blaise is a very sweet guy, just like I'm sure Draco is too, only behind closed doors though.”

“Malfoy is surprisingly a gentlemen and very funny,” Ginny smiled fondly, “it's a nice change. I'm glad he doesn't have to be restricted by his father any more.”

“It warms my heart to know that those two boys were able to escape the dark future their parents had planned. Just be careful, Ginny. I don't want to hear how you fell in love with Draco and things didn't turn out well. I would... I would feel guilty because in reality it's my fault that you are even here.”

“I'll be careful, but what about you? I know two and a half weeks ago you said you didn't love him, but...”

“I truly like Blaise, he is a wonderful man. I just don't see him as boyfriend material, you know? Maybe I could see him that way if I knew for a fact that he could put his reputation behind him and be proud to date a Gryffindor, but like Draco, it's very unlikely that they would do such a thing,” she shrugged.

“Yeah, same for me with Malfoy,” she nodded thoughtfully.

~~~£~~~

It felt almost like Deja vu as the two boys sat inside the usual classroom waiting for the girls. Dinner was not even halfway done and they knew the girls wouldn't be down for another good half hour or so. Blaise was sprawled out on one of the many desks. Draco copied his pose on the desk next to him. Both silently stared up at the ceiling, contemplating their afternoon.

“I knew they were friends,” Draco said suddenly, “I didn't realize how close they are. They act like sisters.”

“From what I've heard, Xavia hasn't truly had a stable home,” Blaise sighed, “so maybe she truly wished to have a sibling and Weasley just happens to fit the bill. After all, she is the only girl out of seven children it wouldn't be unthinkable for her to want a sister.”

“What do you mean by her not having a stable home? She doesn't act like she has any problems at all.”

“She is a foster child.”

“Ah, perfect for Mrs. Weasley then. She always was a sap for sad cases,” Draco smirked.

“Watch how you talk about Weasley's mother, wouldn't want to lose her now that you finally have her, would you?”

The blonde glared at his friend, “sod off.”

Blaise laughed, “come on, Dray, don't be such a poor sport.”

“What have I said about calling me that? My name is short enough,” Draco scowled.

“Any ways,” he dismissed his friend's question, “I didn't get the time to ask, how was your free hour?”

“I think I made a good impression. I was able to make her laugh, joking about Potter and her brother no less.”

“Oh,” Blaise rose an eyebrow, “she didn't get insulted, or even run away in guilt ridden horror about you bringing up her boyfriend?”

“No, why would she?”

“When Xavia and I first started to see each other, I joked about Wyatt and she blushed and her eyes filled with guilty tears before she fled. It took me almost four days to finally corner her again and apologise so that she would continue seeing me. You're lucky my friend.”

“I am lucky. After all, it was your girl that gave Weasley advice and helped her stop feeling guilty. If Johnston wasn't around it would probably take just as much time as it took Johnston,” Draco pointed out.

“You know eventually you will need to start calling Weasley by her given name,” Blaise stated, “even more so if you two end up sleeping together.”

“I think you're wrong. If we start using first names it makes the relationship more personal. While you might have already fallen in love with Johnston, I'm not going to let myself get attached to Weasley. It will already be a mess for you when things between you and her have to end or someone finds out. I am not willing to put myself through that.”

“Maybe by calling her Xavia it personalized things, but it also shows trust in a way. This way I might actually have a chance at convincing her that I actually love her. And somehow I don't think Weasley will appreciate you calling her by her last name during sex or after.”

“What makes you think we will even get that far?”

“What makes you think you won't?”

Draco opened his mouth to reply when the classroom door opened. Xavia sauntered in with Ginny following her. The redhead was flustered and the blue eyed girl was smiling a semi-sweet smile, her eyes showing a tint of sadness. Both girls dropped down into a chair at the foot of their desks.

“What happened,” Blaise asked, sitting up so he could see them.

Draco followed his friend's lead, “don't tell me someone found out already.”

“No,” Xavia shook her head, “it was just Wyatt being a jerk.”

“Wait, what,” Blaise blinked in confusion.

Wyatt had always been a nice guy. Xavia never complained about the boy doing a single mean thing. He was after all a Hufflepuff and a very gentle creature by nature.

Suddenly a look of anger flushed her cheeks, “I told him not to tell anyone. I told him to keep it to himself, but he had to open his bloody mouth and go blabbing. Of course he couldn't keep it to himself, that would only be to good to be true.”

“Wyatt informed me about his parents decision to place Xavia with a different foster family,” Ginny said gently, laying a hand on her friend's arm in comfort.

“It isn't his right to tell people,” she sighed completely defeated, “it's my life... I didn't want anyone to know. I didn't want anyone to worry.”

“But, you told me,” Blaise stated.

“Because you wouldn't worry,” Xavia ran her fingers through her hair tousling the already messy waves, “you would just listen and accept the facts. Now the whole Weasley family will know and will worry for me. Because if things don't go as planned I'll end up in an orphanage again.”

“Again,” Draco asked.

“That doesn't matter,” she waved away his question, “what matters is trying to keep Molly and Arthur from hearing about this. They had a hard time housing all of us last summer. I can't ask them to do it again this year.”

“You know my mum would never turn you away,” Ginny chided.

Xavia shook her head, “It's more then that, Ginny. Your family doesn't need an extra child when they already practically adopted two!”

“Vi.”

“No,” she snapped,” no, just stop. I've dealt with this for years. I can handle myself. Please, just stop worrying about me. I'll be okay. I swear.”

Blaise and Draco jerked back at her abrupt and harsh tone. They had never heard Xavia speak in such a manor, not even towards them when they were making fun of her house mates. Ginny didn't seem bothered or put out by her cruelness. She simply wrapped the other girl in a comforting hug, holding her close.

“Why doesn't he ever listen,” she grumbled miserably, “why can't he understand that when I tell him something, it's meant to stay between us.”

“I'm sorry,” Ginny whispered unsure of what to do.

“I take it this isn't the first time he spilt your secrets,” Blaise frowned.

“No,” Xavia sighed, “every single time I tell him something I don't want anyone to know, he tells someone. Like when we first had sex a year and a half ago. I was only fourteen and a half, I didn't want anyone to know but he told my friends, of all people. Then when I told him about my previous family, he blabbed to his parents. And when we had been dating for almost two years, he told his parents which ended us both in trouble. And now this, it's so hard to trust him any more.”

“I don't think he does it to be mean,” Ginny said softly.

“I know that. But, it still hurts that he keeps breaking my trust like this.”

“And you're with him, why,” Draco asked boldly.

Xavia's jaw dropped and she floundered for words, “I... well... that... um... I don't know?”

All three in the room stared at her in shock. Of all things she could have said, they didn't expect that.

“What do you mean, you don't know,” he pressed for information.

“I just mean,” she stood and stalked to the back of the room, picking up Blaise's bad habit of pacing when frustrated, “I don't know. I'm happy with him, as long as he isn't off spilling my secrets. He is a very kind and sweet boy, I assure you, but he, like everyone, else has his flaws. I thought I could deal with it. But, every time it just gets harder and harder to just let it go.”

“Sounds like me with Harry,” Ginny sighed as she placed her arms on a desk and laid her head on them.

“You are having boyfriend problems too,” Blaise inquired.

The redhead laughed mirthlessly, “of course I am. Mister Golden Boy is so busy with his friends and fans that he can't even take two seconds out of his day to even notice I'm missing. He didn't even care that we weren't going on our date this evening like we had planned over a week ago. He ditches me a lot to hang out with Ron and Hermione, or even to simply talk with some of his other friends.

We don't even really see each other lately. Maybe for a minute or two, one simple peck on the lips and then he is gone and I don't see him for a full day.”

“Too full of himself,” Xavia huffed, dropping to the ground with a harsh plop.

Ginny winced at the sound, “he can be. I mean he is sweet and all, when we are alone and he doesn't rush our dates or anything. But, we maybe go on one once a month and he seems content with that. I want more then that. I want someone who wants to see me at least three times a week! Someone who notices when I'm not around, or sets up dates without me prompting them. Sometimes being in a relationship is just so stressful.”

“Do you not love him,” Blaise asked the question burning at the back of Draco's throat.

“I thought I did,” Ginny frowned, “but if I'm able to be here so easily, with no regret and the only guilt I feel is about possibly hurting his feelings. I don't think I really loved him as much as I thought I did.”

Xavia looked at her startled, “I swear you just read my mind.”

“You too huh,” she sighed, “it really is such a sad thing to think about.”

“Why do you stay with him,” Draco questioned.

Ginny shifted in her seat and gave him a soft smile, “just because I might not be in love with him doesn't mean I don't love him. I care about him and truly wanted things to work out. I guess there is still a small part of me that hopes things turn out okay in the end.”

“And you,” Blaise turned his eyes to Xavia.

“In the beginning when I started having doubts and thought about breaking things off, I couldn't. We lived together. How awkward would things get. I thought I'd wait until my seventh year, because after the end of the year I wouldn't be returning to his home and there would be no awkward summers of playing the avoiding game.

But, I matured and I could see past his flaws. Instead of trying to find reasons to break up with him, I was finding reasons to stay. I guess I got a little caught up and now I'm in, pretty deep. I love him, and being with him makes me happy, but you successfully pointed out a lot that my relationship with him is missing. It doesn't mean though, that I should just give up. Relationships are always bumpy.”

The frown on his face didn't go unnoticed by the two Gryffindors. They shared a look and shrugged, not sure what it meant. Draco silently sighed, his friend was hoping for something more along the lines of Ginny. Someone who has more reason to go then to stay. Blaise would have his work cut out for him if he was truly adamant about convincing Xavia to dump Wyatt and date him.

Though, if he could convince her to do such a thing, it would be easy sailing from there. Draco, however, would have to talk Ginny into going against her whole family. She might easily and readily leave Harry, but there was a sea of redheads just waiting to keep them apart. Just another reason why he should keep his emotions and feelings under lock and key. He didn't want to even imagine was his best friend was going through.
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Secret Affair: Love and Despair