Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

You Can\'t be Serious	By : Aridethdar Category: Harry Potter > Threesomes/Moresomes Views: 16270 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 8
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor do I make any money off of this. Harry Potter belongs to the lovely J K Rowling ~

Chapter List
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- 3
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, the wonderful J K Rowling does. And I don't make any money off of this.

Summary:Harry's name came out of the goblet and something inside him kind of... snapped. No longer is he Gryffindor's Golden Boy who would sacrifice his life for those who can't even show an ounce of loyalty. With new friends and allies, Harry is about to change the world... But will it be for the better? Who is this sexy new ally? And why is Draco eying him like a tasty… HP/TD/DM

Warnings: Bad language is all I can think of there being for this chapter…

A/N: Important note! Octoberfest is still on, but I've been neglecting AFFN on accident. Sorry ^^;; Thankies for being patient with me, and if you don't see a weekly update on here... er, check FFN and remind me? ^^;; lol ~

Shout out and thank you goes to JaylaCaine for suggesting a translation! I was getting tired of typing a French accent and I know you all were tired of trying to figure out what the BLEEP they are saying! XD lol

oOoOoOo

You Can't be Serious

Chapter Three: Now, back to your regularly scheduled program… wait, what?

Word Count: 2072

Beta: Would be the awesome sapphyredragon_rn (whom unleashed the plot bunny in the first place XD lol) BUT she is on vacation... so until she gets back, if there are errors, typos, dyslexic moments then I am to blame :P lol

OOoOoOo

The ladies had had their way with him for the entirety of Ol' Hallow's Eve, and not in a good way…

'Whatever that means…' Harry shrugged. He had a general idea about the intimacies of… relations thanks to his roommates and their yapping, but… 'Eh, not interested.' Not in any of them, at any rate... Or any of the Gryffindor or Hufflepuff girls either. 'Too soft.'

That was besides the point. The female trio had hugged, held and listened to him until curfew. The girls then refused to let him return to "Dumbledore's grasp" and, rather than have him go back to Gryffindor Tower and all the bullshit he would have had to endure there, they had him bunk with the Beauxbatons guys.

Said guys had been confused until Madame Zoe took them to the side and "talked" to them.

'Now I'm sure she's bipolar.' Nope, there wasn't a doubt in his mind that the lovely silver haired Healer could go from one emotion to another faster than most people could blink. 'But as long as I stay on her good side, that's not a bad thing…' At least he knew how vicious she could be when it came to protecting one of her patients.

Then again, Madame Zoe came across as the type of Healer who wasn't against being the CAUSE of someone's need of healing should she be so inclined…

'Heh. Got to feel sorry for Dumbledore and the Dursleys… NOT!' Yeah, Harry knew that if the woman ever asked for the Dursley's address while no one else was around, he would gladly give it to her. Plus their phone number, where Dudley goes to school and Uncle Vernon's workplace, just for good measure.

For the moment, he sat comfortably in the Beauxbatons Common Room while Madame Zoe checked him over as Fleur and Madame Maxime watched… along with the rest of the students there.

'I hate being the center of attetion.' He sighed, but knew that there was nothing he could do.

After all, EVERY Beauxbatons student knew by now that THE Harry Potter had been abused. Apparently the school's males gossiped just as much, if not more, than the females. By the time he had finished his shower, which he'd unfortunately had someone walk in on, everyone was talking about it.

'Not sure if that's a good thing or not… ' He did a mental shrug. 'I'm sure I could work it in my favor.'

"I will be walking 'ou to class, 'Arry." One of his "new roommates" stated. A dirty blond with a lithe build, but he was tall and confident.

"Oui. So s'all I!" The brunette that had walked in on him exclaimed and Harry blushed.

He wasn't so sure about letting the man that had seen him nude come along. Especially since said male had told everyone about the scars he sported from his wonderful relatives.

"No need to worry, 'Arry. 'Ou are much too young for moi." The brunette laughed.

"Stop teasting him, Jean." The blonde male defended.

"W'y not, Paul? Ee is too cute!" Jean responded and Harry's blush intensified.

'Good news, it appears my "abused child" status is working in my favor without me having done anything. Bad news?'

"Fine, 'ou boys can walk 'im to class, but WE get to pick 'im up before lunch." One of the girls declared.

"Ee will be 'aving lunch and attenzing our tea party." Another bird announced.

'Apparently, I'm their new favorite person…'

"Zen after sc'ool we will be taking 'im clozing s'opping!" All the girls giggled at that.

'And play thing.' Well, it could be worse. A lot worse, really, and keeping in the Beauxbatons student body's good graces would work in his favor in the long run. 'Besides, it wouldn't hurt to get some new clothes. I'm tired of wearing Dudley's rags.'

"Ore scan iz complete!" Healer Zoe announced and Harry breathed a sigh of relief. Finally, he would be able to get to out of here. "We need to work on zee core tonight, 'owever I am unzertain eef… No matter. Do 'ou 'ave any questions?"

Harry thought for a moment before he nodded. Ever since last night he had been wondering something, actually, but he had been unsure of whether or not the question would be welcome. But, seeing as she was asking…

"Is there a spell or something that can help me understand French?" Well, it was worth a shot. One never knew in this crazy world of magic.

"Oui, but I'm sorry to say zat eet cannot be used on someone once zey 'ave reached zere magikal maturity…" Zoe trailed off and slapped herself upside the head. "Wat am I zinking? Forget zat, 'ou are still under zee age." She shook her head. "'Old still, zis will only take a momen'. 'Ou will feel a tingling in ore mind, nozing more." She paused. "'Opefully."

'What does she mean, "hopefully"?!'

Before Harry could protest, the Healer held up her wand and performed quite possibly the most complex wand movement Harry had ever witnessed. That's the only part of the ritual that Harry could pay attention to, however, since the woman was chanting in French…

Harry didn't so much as twitch; he was afraid to move as he did not wish to cause himself undue pain...

A minute into the chanting Harry felt the strange tickling sensation Zoe had warned him about and he actually giggled. Not laughed, GIGGLED. Everyone else was laughing.

"Oh my Lord, that was so cute! I could just hug him!"

"Honestly, he can't be fourteen. Just look at him…"

"He was abused? No wonder he's so small!"

"Jean saw the scars…"

"His core… it's blocked by his own magic…"

'Seems everyone is still whispering about me… hey wait!' Harry's eyes widened. Even though he knew they had been talking about him before, he hadn't been able to understand them because they had all been speaking French. So that meant… 'The spell worked!'

"Well, can you understand me now? Because I have to say, speaking English is a bitch."

"You shouldn't cuss around children, it's not nice." Harry responded cheekily.

"Brat." Zoe huffed before a grin graced her features. "But you're cute, so you get by with it. Watch out for Madeline and her bunch, by the way. They are already eyeing you as if you were their own personal model… But seeing as they already declared their intentions of taking you shopping, I'm sure you figured that out." She laughed.

"Oh Harry!" Fleur exclaimed before she hugged him. "I'm so glad you are able to speak with me in my native tongue. And wont it be fun? We can talk about things without the Hogwarts kids having a clue as to what we're saying!"

"Watch out around the Purebloods when inacting that particular plan. A great deal of them are bilingual, and many are multilingual."

"Did they use that spell too, Madame Zoe?" Harry inquired as his blonde guardian began to run her fingers through his hair.

"For the first language, but the spell can only be used once." Zoe shrugged. "I probably should have mentioned that, but seeing as you are surrounded by French speakers and will be going to France when we return, I thought it best that we used it…. You did ask for it, after all."

Harry nodded. She was right, he would have asked her to use the spell even if she had told him it's limitations, but…

"Wait… What do you mean I'm going to France when you return?" Harry asked, confusion written all over his face.

"Oh! I forgot to tell you… Well, I didn't get the letter until shortly before you came down, but still…"

"Out with it, Fleur. The child has classes to attend." Madame Maxime laughed as she smiled fondly at the young woman.

"Yet you told them before me?" It was more a statement than a question.

"We were waiting for you to finish primping." Madame Zoe smirked.

"Anyway… I got a letter from my Father." Fleur smiled.

"And?" Harry prompted.

"Well, it appears that within the last ten generations the Delacours and the Potters have married. You are a descendent of said union, and therefore related to us…" Fleur trailed off, curious as to how Harry would take the news.

"Related? You mean… we're family?"

"Yes!" The blonde exclaimed happily. "And as such, Father has made a request to the French Minister… We have permission to stay for the Triwizard Tournament, however afterwards… um, well…" Here she seemed to get a bit nervous and Harry braced himself for some bad news. "You're being deported."

Green eyes blinked. Then blinked again.

"Huh?" Not the most eloquent response, but it was the best he could do given the circumstances.

"You are being deported. As a descendent of our family, you are considered a citizen of France. Seeing as you have been orphaned, the French Ministry has demanded it's citizen returned so they can see to it that you are properly cared for and given to your next of kin… My family!" Fleur stated happily.

"Dumbledore will never go for it…"

"Dumbledore's hands are tied, and so is the Ministers!" Zoe huffed. "I am sorry for invading your privacy, Harry, but I took some photos and my diagnostic results to St. Mungos last night. The Healers immediately demanded that the child be brought in for care, but I … reassured them that I am MORE than capable."

The grin she was sporting during her declaration made Harry certain that she had gone psycho on their arses until they gave in.

"Anyway, once the Healers knew WHO the child was… well, next thing you know I see Ms. Skeeter and informed her of how Dumbledore dropped you at the doorstep of abusive Muggles and would not allow you sanctuary anywhere else."

"As you can imagine, Ms. Skeeter ate this story up. She happily portrayed you as the victim you are, and Dumbledore as the monster he is." Madame Maxime stated smugly.

"Who's Ms. Skeeter?" Harry asked to take his mind off of the rest of what they had said.

He couldn't be upset, not really. After all, they had done all his work for him in a sense. Now he had a chance of breaking free of the Dursleys and the old coot.

'No "chance" to it, I'm being bloody deported!' But even that was to his advantage.

After all, something legal like that was a lot harder to fight than a child merely running away or something. Truth be told, he hadn't yet figured out how he would escape, and now? He wouldn't have to worry about a thing…

'Though I must still tread on the side of caution. Who knows what Dumbledore will do…' The man seemed to have a vested interest in him, not entirely different from Voldemort's own obssession, so Harry wasn't going to chance letting his guard down.

"Ms. Skeeter is a lovely, vicious little harpy that writes for the Daily Prophet." Zoe explained with a smile on her face.

"Not someone I want to meet?"

"Oh, meeting her is fine… Just be sure to stay on her good side while we're here." The silver haired woman stated. "Now, I do believe you need to head to classes. There will be a ceremony at dinner, of sorts at any rate, where the Champions will meet up with Bagman and the bunch."

Well, that sounded lovely… Wait a second…

"Champions? They aren't honestly going to make me compete, are they?" Harry questioned, real fright in his eyes.

There was NO WAY he would be able to keep up with three people three years or so his elder! The whole point of his getting across to everyone that he DIDN'T put his name in the cup was so that his entry into the contest would be null and void.

"Sadly that old coot refuses to withdraw it. He says he can't, something about there being a contract that the goblet creates… Bull if you ask me. Especially seeing as you didn't put your name in the cup in the first place…"

"However, don't despair Harry!" Zoe interrupted the Headmistress when she noticed Harry's demeanor changed. "It merely says you have to ATTEMPT to participate. Just walking into a challenge should be enough really, because at least you made the effort to show!" She smiled.

He supposed that could work…

'Or I can unlock my core and see what I can really do…'

Yeah, he liked that plan better.

'Looks like I have a lot of work ahead of me.'

oOoOoOo

A/N: Insert Author's Note here... when I get a chance XD lol Thank yous go out to everyone who reviews! I appreciate you! Now... back to writing for me, I've got to type up 2 more chapters of this fic for October XD lol
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You Can\'t be Serious