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Muggle Things	By : RavieSnake Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Draco/Hermione Views: 54564 -:- Recommendations : 3 -:- Currently Reading : 8
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the concepts or characters from it. I make no money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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- 4
A/N: Thank you Monkemom, Tara, Trelweny, HG4eva, Ari-D, starr, Victoria, and effbar for the reviews!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Draco set down his cup of tea and squinted at the window in his study. The barn owl on the other side of the glass tapped its delicate beak lightly against the pane again and Draco smiled at it as he rose from his chair.
He went to the window and opened it, expecting the beautiful bird to hop inside, but the owl simply scootched the envelope it had brought forward on the sill with its talon.
Draco picked up the envelope and smirked at the curious little bird and the owl simply tilted its heart-shaped face back at him before turning about and flying away. He watched it for a moment before closing the window and then looked back at the envelope. He opened it where he stood and grinned when he read the message.
Malfoy,
If you’re still serious, meet me at the Leaky tomorrow at noon. Your normal attire is acceptable.
-H.G.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The door to the Leaky Cauldron jangled as Draco opened it and he grinned when he immediately caught sight of Hermione at a table absentmindedly stirring a drink as she read over something laid out before her. He glanced around at the surprisingly quiet pub and walked over to the table.
"You didn't wait for me?" Draco drawled as he seated himself in the chair across from Hermione. "Just ordered yourself a drink and left me to fend?" She looked up from her parchment and smiled.
"Well hello to you too, Malfoy. I'm doing fine, thank you. How are you?" she said just as a waiter came by and set a drink down in front of Draco. He thanked the man and then raised an eyebrow at Hermione.
"I took the liberty of ordering your usual," she said as she picked up her own drink to take a sip. She sighed appreciatively after she swallowed and set down her cup then smiled sweetly back at Draco who was inspecting the drink he'd been given.
"You're sure you're not stalking me?" he joked as he sniffed at his cup.
"Quite sure," Hermione answered.
Draco simply tilted his cup in her direction with a questioning glance. She laughed.
"I asked Tom if you had a usual and he informed me that while you don’t come here very often, you always order the same thing when you do,” Hermione explained as she pushed her drink slightly to the side. Draco gave her a shifty look, but shrugged and took a drink.
"Now, then..." Hermione started.
“Thank you,” Draco said abruptly pointing to the drink.
“Oh…sure,” Hermione said slightly thrown, “It was no trouble. Now…”
"But what if my usual had been firewhiskey or rum?" Draco interrupted with a smirk. Hermione blinked at him.
"Then I suppose you'd be drinking firewhiskey or rum right now. Does it matter?"
Draco frowned a little. "Granger, has anyone ever told you that you're no fun?" he teased.
"Yes," she answered shortly. She cleared her throat and then pushed the parchment across the table to him. "Now, then..."
"This place seems a bit slow for a lunch hour," Draco interrupted again, ignoring the parchment and swiveling his head around. Hermione sighed.
"Yes, it's usually slow like this on Wednesdays. That's why I invited you here. It's familiar, but we won't have a ton of people trying to eavesdrop on us."
Draco hummed as he continued to look around.
"Now, then..." Hermione tried again.
"Do you think we could order food as well? I'm rather hungry," Draco said as he picked up a menu from the empty table next to them.
"If you like," Hermione replied.
"What do you want?" Draco asked her over the menu.
Hermione furrowed her brow a bit. "I don't really have a lot of time. I have to get back to..."
"I'll just order you something," Draco said as he set down the menu. Hermione rolled her eyes.
"Fine. Now, then..."
"Granger?"
"Oh for Heaven's sake what!?" Hermione asked exasperated.
"I'm wonderful today. Thank you for asking."
Hermione blinked at him again before shaking her head at herself. "Merlin, what did I get myself into?"
She placed her head in her hands as Draco waved the waiter over to their table. He ordered and when the waiter walked away he looked back at Hermione who was rubbing her fingers over her temples.
"So...are you ever going to tell me why I'm here or are you just going to massage your head all day?"
Hermione lowered her hands and glared up at him. "Really?" she asked.
"What?" Draco asked innocently, reaching again for his drink.
"I've been trying to tell you why you're here and you keep interru..."
"I hope you like fish and chips," Draco said idly as he leaned back in his chair. "Not a vegan are you?"
Hermione closed her eyes and took a calming breath. "No," she answered through gritted teeth after opening her eyes, "I'm not a vegan. Though you probably would've wanted to ask that before you ordered for me."
Draco shrugged as he took a drink.
"And speaking of asking things before you do them," Hermione said and then stopped with a look at Draco expecting him to interrupt again. When he simply stared back at her attentively she continued, "I invited you here to discuss a few items I'll need to know about before I start making arrangements for your... um... special activities."
Draco frowned. "So you mean we're not learning anything Muggle today?"
"Well, I hadn’t planned anything, no. But in order for you to start learning Muggle things, I'll need to know a few things first."
"Like what?"
Hermione pointed to the parchment. "If you'll direct your attention to the..."
"Whoa, ho, ho," Draco said holding a hand up to her. "Hold up there, Granger."
"What?" she asked with a puzzled expression. Draco cocked an eyebrow at her.
"We are not in a boardroom or a classroom. Drop the act."
"I was simply telling you to read the parchment, Malfoy," she replied, crossing her arms.
"No," Draco said with a shake of his head. "You were tryin' to do that swotty thing you used to do to remind people how clever you are. I already know how clever you are so cut the shite and just be yourself."
Hermione just sat and stared at him looking lost. "I...I was being myself," she said very quietly. She looked dejectedly down at the table and then picked up the parchment.
"What are you doing?" Draco asked as she rolled it up. Hermione shook her head as she grabbed her bag from the back of her chair and started to stand.
"I'll owl you the names of some trustworthy people that can teach you what you want to know. I have to be getting back to work," she said as she stuffed the parchment into her bag. Draco grabbed her wrist as she went to walk away.
"Granger," he said with a sincere look, "you are the one I want to teach me."
Hermione's chocolate eyes searched his face for a moment. "I don..."
"For you, sir," the waiter said loudly, coming up to the table and setting a plate in front of Draco. Draco rather reluctantly released Hermione's wrist to turn and nod at the man.
"And for you, Miss Granger?" the waiter asked with a questioning look, holding her plate tentatively over where she'd been sitting. Hermione took a deep breath and nodded. The waiter smiled and set down her plate. “Enjoy.”
“Thank you, Carmine,” she said taking the step back to her seat.
“On the house as always,” Carmine the waiter said with a small bow to her. Hermione gave him a weak smile and he turned to leave.
When he was out of range, Hermione slowly sat. There was a brief silence as she cast a blank stare at her food and hugged her bag in her lap.
“I didn’t mean to upset you,” Draco said a bit awkwardly, “I just don’t need you talking down to me is all.”
“I wasn’t trying to talk down to you,” Hermione said a tad defensively, “that’s…that’s just how I’m used to speaking. I rarely see anyone outside of work besides Harry, and he’s used to me.” She hugged her bag a little tighter.
“You went out to that party.”
Hermione frowned. “Yes, and you saw how well that ended.”
They were silent for a moment as Hermione hung her bag back over her chair. She sighed. “Anyway, I’m sorry if you felt that I was trying to talk down to you. I didn’t do it consciously.”
“You just need to get out more…socialize,” Draco suggested as he popped a chip into his mouth.
“Says the man that hardly ever leaves his home?” she said as she started on her fish.
“I’m here aren’t I?”
Hermione gave him a shifty look. “For reasons still unknown to me.”
Draco gave her an evil grin. “You should probably see a Healer about your recent decrease in mental function, Granger. It worries me.”
“What?” Hermione asked indignantly.
“I’m…here…for you…to teach…me…Muggle…things,” Draco said very slowly in a voice one might use for a toddler. Hermione rolled her eyes.
“Why on Earth did I ever agree to work for you?” she asked, picking up her cup with a shake of her head.
Draco smirked. “Because you think I’m sexy?”
Hermione sprayed her mouthful of liquid over the table.
Draco laughed as he shielded his food with his hands. “I’ll take that as a ‘yes’,” he said with a smug grin.
“Are you always this insufferable?” Hermione asked as she wiped her face with a napkin. Draco paused and tapped a finger against his chin as if mulling over an important thought.
“Yes,” he replied with a nod. He popped another chip into his mouth.
Hermione shook her head at him as she pulled out her wand to clean her mess from the table. “Then I should probably quit right now,” she chuckled.
“I’d rather you didn’t,” Draco said, covering his mouth with his hand to speak while he chewed. He swallowed and leaned back in his chair. “So, tell me what you need to know.”
“Well,” she said as she put her wand back into her robes, “the first thing I need to know is what types of Muggle clothing you already own.”
“You’ve seen it all,” Draco answered. “The outfit I had on at the party and then my dress clothes.”
“You have one set of casual Muggle clothing?” Hermione confirmed as she poked at her chips. Draco nodded.
“Never had the need for more than that.”
“Well, you’ll need more now,” Hermione said more to herself than to him. She twisted her mouth as she stared at the table. “I think that’ll be our next activity,” she nodded as she focused again on her food.
“What will?” Draco asked eagerly.
“Shopping,” Hermione smiled. Draco gaped at her.
“Shopping?”
“Mmm hmm,” Hermione nodded as she chewed a bite of food. She forced herself not to laugh at the look of horror on Draco’s face.
“Shopping?” he repeated.
“Is that a problem?”
Draco frowned. “Well, it’s certainly not fun.”
“It’ll be loads of fun. And very educational. You’ll learn Muggle fashion, Muggle pricing, the way Muggle stores operate, get to use your credit card, and I’ll make sure you end up with a complete Muggle wardrobe so you’ll be prepared for our future outings,” Hermione said excitedly.
“You just wanna dress me up in a bunch of ridiculous clothing don’t you?” Draco groaned. Hermione smirked and simply took another bite. He slumped a little in his chair and Hermione gave him a reassuring smile.
“I’ll make sure you look good. It wouldn’t do to have heir extraordinaire Draco Malfoy looking anything less than perfect…even as a Muggle,” she teased. Draco perked up a bit and smiled back at her.
Hermione’s smile faltered and then disappeared as she stared at him across the table.
“What?” Draco asked worriedly. He turned in his chair to look behind him as if to make sure she was actually looking at him and then turned back to face her. “What’s the matter?”
“It’s…it’s still a bit strange,” she nearly whispered, “to see you smiling at me. I suppose I just keep waiting for the moment when someone’s going to jump out from behind some furniture and tell me I’ve been the star of some elaborate prank show.” Hermione made her hands simulate little explosions near her head. “Surprise! Guess what, Draco still hates you and you’re an idiot! Thanks for playing, here’s a prize.”
Draco looked at her like she had two heads. “Prank show? Granger, what in the fuck are you talking about?”
Hermione sighed and poked at her plate. “Part of my brain keeps screaming at me that this is just some kind of cruel joke. You must admit it’d be difficult for someone to believe that you…YOU could possibly want to actually go shopping with ME and model clothes for me…MUGGLE clothes, and learn how Muggles mail things and drive cars and use computers and whiten their bloody fucking teeth.”
“You’re going to show me how to drive a car?” Draco asked in awe, ignoring the rest of her little speech. Hermione laughed despite herself at the look on his face.
“If you want me to, sure.”
“Drive…” Draco whispered to himself as he gave his plate a far away gaze.
“So, this isn’t a joke?” Hermione asked with a hopeful cringe.
“Certainly not,” he answered looking up at her. “I may be minted, but even I think it a bit much to spend a thousand Galleons on such a terrible idea of a laugh. Speaking of…” He reached into his robes and pulled out an envelope identical to the one he’d given her two days before. “For helping me with the banking,” he said as he slid the envelope across the table.
Hermione looked at the envelope a bit uncomfortably for a moment before picking it up and slipping it into her bag. “Thank you,” she said quietly. “Now that actually brings me to the other item I’d like to know.”
Draco simply nodded at her to continue as he picked up another chip.
“What is your budget for these little escapades? What are you willing to spend? What’s the maximum?” she asked as she too started in again on her lunch. Draco shrugged a little as he chewed.
“I dunno,” he said after he swallowed. “A million Pounds a lesson?”
Hermione choked on the bite of fish she’d just taken. She coughed up the hunk and squinted at Draco through watery eyes. “A million?” she gasped. “That’s a bit much.”
Draco shook his head. “I don’t expect us to use that much each time, but I want to ensure that we have enough to work with. I will not cheat myself due to lack of funding. I expect top quality for everything we do.”
“Noted,” Hermione said, dabbing at her chin with her napkin. “Alright, next thing. Are there any activities that are strictly off limits?”
Draco frowned at her. “How would I know? I don’t know much about what Muggles do.”
“Well, do you have any fears or phobias that might inhibit you from doing something?” Hermione revised. “Do you get sea sick or dizzy easily?”
“Do Muggles have gnomes?” he asked uneasily.
Hermione bit her lip to keep from grinning. “You’re afraid of gnomes?”
“Shut up,” Draco grumbled and Hermione forced herself not to laugh.
“No, Muggles don’t have gnomes. Well…at least not living ones.”
Draco sighed in relief, “Then I think I’ll be fine with whatever you choose to have us do. Anything else you need to know?”
Hermione nodded. “Are there any Muggle activities besides driving that you do know about that you have any particular interest in?”
“Movies,” he answered at once. “I want to see movies.”
Hermione reached around and pulled the parchment she’d had out earlier from her bag. She unrolled it in her lap and squinted at it. “Okay…movies. Anything else?” she asked as she peered down at her list and grabbed her cup. Draco hummed in thought for a moment.
“Oh!” he said animatedly and snapped his fingers in the air as the thought came to him, “Sex.”
Hermione sprayed this mouthful of drink all over her parchment.
“Malfoy!?” she yelled in shock. She quickly set down her cup. “I am NOT having sex with you for money.”
“For free then?”
Hermione’s jaw hit the floor as she gaped at him. He laughed.
“Granger…I’m kidding,” he said with an amused smirk. He picked up a chip and idly pointed it at her as he continued. “You need to lighten up. But seriously, sex. I just wanna know how they do it differently.”
Hermione closed her mouth and awkwardly cleared her throat with a sheepish look. “They, uh…they don’t really do that any differently than we…ah…that is to say witches and wizards do.”
“Not what I’ve heard,” he said tossing the chip into his mouth.
“Well, you heard wrong,” she said with a disapproving scowl.
Draco simply shrugged. “Anyway, we can go over that later. What else have you got?” he asked motioning to the parchment.
Hermione shook out the soggy sheet and frowned. “I think I have quite enough information for now.”
A clock somewhere chimed and Hermione mumbled a curse. She stuffed the ruined parchment into her bag as she pulled it from the back of her chair. “I’m sorry,” she said hastily as she fished a hand around inside her bag, “but I really must be getting back to the Ministry.” She pulled out a handful of coins and set them on the table as she stood. Draco stood at the same time.
“You didn’t get to finish your lunch,” he said with a slight scowl.
“I told you I didn’t have long,” she said apologetically. “I have a meeting in thirty minutes. I’ll owl you soon about our shopping trip.”
Draco gave a reluctant nod of acceptance and Hermione smiled. “Thank you for meeting me, Malfoy. I…”
“Draco.”
“What?”
“Please,” Draco said seriously, “Call me Draco.”
Hermione gave him an appraising look, but returned a small nod. “Draco,” she tried the name tentatively, “thank you for the lunch. Please make sure Carmine gets this as well if you would.”
Draco glanced down at the small pile of money she’d motioned to and then back up at her. “Of course. I hope your meeting goes well. And thank you…Hermione.”
She gave him another nervous smile as she slung her bag over her shoulder. “I…I’ll see you later,” she said at last and then made her way swiftly out the door. Draco watched her go and then looked back down at the table. He pulled his wand and with a few quick flicks of it the remainders of their meals were neatly packed for take away. He stowed his wand and then pulled a handful of Galleons from his pocket and set them on the table.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hermione blew an errant, frizzy curl from her face as she fumbled around the stack of parchments in her arms to open her office door. She finally grasped the handle and pushed the door open. Several parchments tumbled to her floor and she dumped the whole lot on top of a cabinet to the right of the door. She picked up the fallen ones and after depositing them with the rest, slumped against the now closed door and puffed an exhausted breath.
“I hate meeting with goblins,” Hermione groused to herself just as her stomach growled loudly. She rubbed at it and leaned her head back on the door. “That fish and chips would do me good now,” she sighed to her empty office. Just as the words left her lips she noticed a white box on her desk. She kicked off the door and went to it. There was a small folded note on top of what was obviously a take away food container.
Hermione picked up the note that had her name written neatly on the outside of it and unfolded it.
Looking forward to modeling for you. Enjoy the rest of your meal and the next one’s on me. -D
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Muggle Things