To Tame A Dragon | By : Setsuna24 Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 5878 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling and I make no profit from this story. The situations depicted in this work are by no means a reflection of the author's values nor does the author condone them. |
This is the third and last part for the To Tame a Dragon Series. Part two got turned into a bit of an ‘anti-rape’ crusade and I took it off of AO3 because I simply did not care for dealing with more of that BS.
This part explains a lot of why the things in part 1 and 2 happened. It is a sad ending, but in all honesty one can not in any way expect a happy ending to a fic such as this. You have been fairly warned. There is no sex in this chapter.
Betaed by fifteenfeb
I own nothing.
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Acceptance and Goodbye
Great Gryffindor, he felt like the biggest SOB in the history of SOBs in the world.‘What the hell is wrong with me?!’
There was definitely something dark growing inside him and taking a hold of his mind. Maybe someone had cursed him, there were no other explanations for the things he had been doing as of late, for the way he had been treating Malfoy. Despite their differences and their professed hatred of each other, there was no good reason to do the things he did. There was no excuse.
‘There’s something very wrong with me and I have no idea what to do about it.’
The things he had done, the things he had said, they had come out of him like an entity he didn’t recognize was taking possession of his mind and body. It was him, yet at the same time it wasn’t, and it scared him like nothing else before had.
The pleasure he had found in the things he had forced upon the Malfoy heir were dark and so incredibly wrong, that he had found enjoyment in them. That made Harry sick to the stomach. It had to stop. He had to stop. There was something seriously wrong with him, a matter of the soul he thought, and if he did not put an end to it soon, he was sure he was going to go insane. There was a voice in his head that sounded oddly enough like Bellatrix Lestrange despite the voice being clearly male. It was the way it whispered things and he was afraid if he did not put an end to what he was doing, he was going to end up giving into it and end up as mad as the Black woman. He was sure he was going to be utterly corrupted by it, every time it became easier to go along with those whispers, to follow his dark desires.
As he walked down the dark and damp corridors of Hogwarts towards his dorm, under his invisibility cape, he shuddered at the idea of being so corrupted by darkness that it would consume his mind. There was something wrong with him and Harry entered his room trying to come up with a way to make it stop. He crawled into his bed, his mind filled with thoughts about what he felt needed to be done, it would be the hardest thing he had ever done because it was something he never thought he would feel the need to do, but he knew it was the only way to start distancing himself from the dark path he had been following. Tomorrow he would find Draco Malfoy and have a chat with him.
The next day, Harry filled himself with conviction and waited for a moment to approach the Slytherin and do what he had to do. Regardless of how many times he looked at his map, the blond boy was never alone. This was not a conversation he wanted to have in front of an audience so he decided it would be best to wait for a moment when he could talk to Malfoy in private.
It did not happen. For weeks, he looked into his map but it seemed as if Malfoy was making sure he was never alone, even within the Slytherin dorm or common room. In fact, despite seeing him almost every day, Malfoy never came too close to him when he had less than three people around him. Things were getting darn annoying with Umbridge’s inquisitorial squad, he would have thought that with how much they were trying to make his life miserable, he would get more of a chance to talk to Malfoy but it never happened.
During his time trying to find a moment to speak with Draco, Harry had plenty of revelations wrecking havoc with his mind, things he had never thought too closely about were now fitting together to reveal a very scary truth.
*****
‘What in Salazar’s name is wrong with me?!’
Draco lay awake in his bed, his eyes ever so often straying to the trunk where the cherry wood box containing the Snitch was safely hidden.
He had been thinking for hours about the things Potter had said to him, the things he himself had begun to think real. They all scared the bloody daylights out of him and he sought to get to the bottom of his confused thoughts to hopefully come up with the truth of the matter.
There was no doubt in his mind that there was something seriously wrong with him going by the way he had reacted to the venomous words spoken to him and the way his treacherous body had reacted to Harry Potter’s touch. It made him sick that his thoughts were constantly being invaded by the green-eyed Gryffindor.
‘Bloody hell, there’s something definitely wrong with me and whatever it is, it has to end.’
The more he thought about it, the more he realized that whatever it was pushing him to react the way he had, needed to end. He needed to put a stop to it or he was sure he was going to go insane.
With a groan, he turned to his side on the large bed and continued to analyze the situation, trying to come up with a solution to his problem.
As dawn broke in the horizon, he realized he had spent all night thinking and had gotten no sleep whatsoever. He released a defeated sigh and woke up. At least he had come up with a temporary solution to the conundrum he found himself in at the moment, he would never be alone again while in Hogwarts. There was no other way to make sure that he was not going to be ambushed and used by Potter, no other way to make it stop, at least for now.
For weeks, he made sure there was never a moment in which Potter could approach him. During this time, some things made themselves clear to him and they scared him shitless. There was no way Harry Potter was getting anywhere near him while he was alone.
*****
The chance presented itself one Friday afternoon at the astronomy tower. At this moment, Draco was cursing his mentor and protector, Severus Snape, for sending him to deliver some vials of only Merlin knows what to the loony at the tower just because he could not stand the bug-eyed woman. Blaze, Crabble, and Goyle had been sent on a different errand to deliver boxes of healing potions to the hospital wing and he was left to trek the school hallways on his own. All hopes to not encounter the vane of his existence disappeared when on his way back, a hand grabbed his out of nowhere and a second hand was placed over his mouth. He had no idea how Potter knew where he was and that he was alone but soon he found himself being forcefully directed to an empty classroom.
He was pushed to the center of the classroom and the door was locked while a silence spell was chanted to keep people outside from listening to whatever would happen within the classroom. Draco was starting to freak out but he refused to show fear any longer.
“What the hell do you want, Potter?” He said, venom coating his every syllable.
“I need to talk to you.”
“There is nothing you and I need to talk about.Whatever it is, I don’t want to hear it and I don’t want to be anywhere near you. Step aside from the door and let me go. You think you can just pull me in here and do to me whatever you please but if you think I will let you again, you have another thing coming I swear I will…” Draco’s angry tirade was interrupted by softly spoken words.
“I’m sorry.”
Draco looked at Harry and took in his slumped shoulders. Potter was not even looking at him, he was looking at the floor and for a moment Draco wondered if his mind was playing tricks on him and he had not heard those words at all.
“What did you just say?” He asked because he needed to know. He needed to make sure he had actually heard correctly. There was no way this was happening.
Harry lifted his head and looked at him as he took a couple steps towards Malfoy.
“Don’t come any closer to me!” The blond yelled as the green-eyed boy approached him and the Gryffindor idol halted his forward movement.
“I’m not going to do anything, I swear. I just… I just want to say that I’m sorry about everything I did.”
“You’re sorry? Well bloody fucking good for you, now let me go.”
“Please, listen, I really need to do this properly. I need to explain things to you. I don’t expect you to forgive me but I still have to tell you.”
“Let’s have it then, Potter. Let’s hear your explanation for the things you have done to me but don’t even dream that I will understand and forgive you. What you did, it was so very wrong in so many ways that it can never be erased from my mind.”
“I am truly sorry, Malfoy.”
“Spare me the bullshit apologies and say what you want to say so I can leave.”
With a defeated sigh, Harry began to explain what was going on with him and the realizations he had reached.
“I like you.” He began. Draco was about to interject with what was no doubt some unsavory remark but Harry stopped him with a lifted hand and continued to explain. “I guess I have from the very beginning and just didn’t realize it until recently. I mean we were always at each other’s throat! How was I supposed to know what my constant need to watch you and know where you are and what you are doing meant. The thing is, Merlin I don’t know how to explain this, there is something wrong with me.”
Draco scoffed at the notion that Potter liking him meant that there was something wrong with him.
“Not because I like you, you git! Don’t look at me that way, I can tell from here that’s what you were thinking. I mean there is something wrong with me, with my head. It’s hard to explain but that something dark took over me. I let it take over and indulged on it when I did those horrible things to you. It was like a soft whisper at first that got louder and louder every time I saw you or hear your name and soon it was like I was not myself but this beast using you in such a way.”
Draco just continued to stare at Harry in shock at his words. He was not going to believe such excuses. The Gryffindor Golden Boy letting voices in his head take him over… preposterous. He could go to someone else with that cheap tale.
“I know you don’t believe me but it’s true. The things I did, I know they were wrong. Not because of what they were but the way I went about them. The truth is, I would not have minded doing those things with you, with your consent. I would have enjoyed them actually. But the fact that it was without your consent and that I somehow still took pleasure from it scares me bonkers. I know all that stuff was seriously messed up and I don’t know what to do about it other than to say I am deeply sorry and assure you it will never happen again. Please say something; this is making me very nervous.”
“You know what the messed up part of this is? I like you too and I too did not have any idea until recently, but there can never be anything between us. There is just too much bad blood between you and me, Potter. There will never be a way to reconcile what has happened since we met and with us coming upon these realizations about what we feel. Since all this started, I was so confused because I thought there was something seriously wrong with me for finding pleasure in the things you did. I almost had myself believing I was all the things you had said I was. But then I started thinking, I spent so much time thinking I have hardly spoken to anyone in weeks, and I realized something. It wasn’t the things you did to me that I enjoyed, frankly those things were low and so very wrong, it was not the things you said either that made me unable to stop thinking about you. It was the fact that it was you being so close to me and your voice and not the words that came out as you whispered in my ear. Your hands touching me and your lips kissing me. It wasn’t that I liked that kind of treatment but that I simply liked you despite how we were always constantly at each other’s throat. Despite all these things, I never want you to touch me again because what could have been has now been spoiled by what happened and I simply cannot trust you. You are dangerous, Potter and I value myself too much to risk the same things happening again.”
“I know, I’m sorry. I know it will never be and I’m willing to accept it as a punishment for my actions. Let’s just agree to part ways and carry on with our lives outside of each other’s influence. Whatever this thing is that is driving me crazy is too dangerous to let it continue. I really did not want to hurt you so I will keep my distance to keep us both safe. Goodbye.”
After that, Potter left the room and Draco stayed a few more moments to calm his frantic nerves down. As the days went by, things continued as if nothing had happened between them and they kept to their normal routines, then everything went downhill after the battle at the ministry.
*********
Many months later, Harry Potter saved Draco Malfoy from death by Fiendfire in the Room of Requirement. He knew the reason was not because of some savior complex that prompted him to save all the lives he could but because it was Draco and he could not let him die. He could not stand the thought of Draco Malfoy dying and never having a chance to see him again even if from afar.
Later on, after the war was over, he realized what was pushing him towards such darkness was likely the influence of the fragment of Voldemort’s soul inside him, making him the Horrocrux Voldemort had created accidentally, tainting him from within as the mad man grew in power.
He didn’t pursue Malfoy after this revelation, as the young heir had said, there was simply too much bad blood and baggage between them. Frankly, even without the piece of Voldemort inside him, Harry did not want to risk doing something awful that he would surely regret. He had already done enough wrong to Malfoy. They still talk civilly when needed and the occasional nod of acknowledgment was given when they met. It was the way of conducting oneself in polite society, but it was never out of some after-war bloomed friendship. They never tried to become closer.
Both knowing they had liked each other for so long and continuing on to hold some of that feeling towards each other despite their marriages, was still hard for them. They felt cheated in some way. If it had not been because of Voldemort and his pureblood prejudices, which Draco had learned from his father, if it had not been for that piece of soul corrupting Harry and the way he had acted, they would have had a chance back in school.
But now it was too late and there was no point on thinking of ‘what if’s.
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I always thought that for someone with a piece of an evil maniac inside his body Harry was way too collected mentally so this is a bit of a take on that. I hope this part has explained/made clear some things for you. Thank you all for sticking with me until the end and for reading/reviewing/commenting
Setsuna
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