Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Out of Darkness	By : Daralis Category: HP Canon Characters paired with Original Characters > Het - Male/Female Views: 1734 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own 'Harry Potter' or any characters from it. I do not make any moey from the writing of this story.

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All of a sudden, her vision became blurry. Eyes covered with some kind of mist, everything went blank. Lilla couldn’t even see the outlines of her own hand.

She cursed under her breath and closed her eyes shut, rubbing them with her knuckles.

After a few futile attempts, her vision came back to normal again.

It hadn’t been the first time it happened. She had experienced this shit before. But at the begining she had been scared like hell. She thought she had lost her vision completely. She nearly freaked out but then everything came back to normal. She talked about it to professor Dumbledore and he explained this phenomenon to her. Whenever we experience great emotions, like love, hatred, or grief, our magical abilities are affected. It might alter our looks, our skills at duelling or the for of our Patronus. Since Lilla experienced all of them, and probably all in equal amounts, her magic became somewhat disrupted. In Lilla’s case, apparently, her birdlike facilities became affected, weakened to a great extent. The mist on her eyes came and went, just like a wave. Sometimes it lasted longer, sometimes shorter, there was no rule. But each time she had to do something important, she prayed her vision didn’t fail her. That was extremely dangerous when it came to flying, but so far she had been lucky enough to avoid it.

Dumbledore said that the mist is the result of her organism still fighting to get to the previous state. Previously, she could have prided on her vision, she had been able to see a mosquito flying a mile away. But now she was lucky if she could see a giant from a few hundred yards.

When the mist dispersed and Lilla’s vision came back to normal, she lifted her right hand to her eyes, looking closely at the bracelet. Even though she knew perfectly well each curve and each line of its making, she wanted to touch the carving in the pendants, feel the magic flowing through them.

The pendants were elliptically shaped, the silver intricately carved - one had a carving of a wing, the other of a paw.

Obviously, it was enchanted. When she whispered to it, the two ellipses blended together, creating the infinity symbol. On which beautiful, golden letters appeared, saying Te amo in aeternum.

I love you forever.

No matter what words she uttered, the declaration of love would appear anyway. Sirius explained he did this to let her know that no matter what she said or felt towards him, he would always love her.

Lilla smiled to her memories again.

Sirius loved the way she smiled. He used to say that she had such a winsome smile that there was no need to use the Obliviate spell when she was around, as her smile alone could make one forget what his name was.

Whenever she smiled, her nose crinkled slightly, and Sirius always jested about it, though she knew he adored it.

She stopped doing that after his death. Instead, she caught a nasty habit of biting her lips to blood. For some time the pain she felt was the only thing she felt at all.

She remembered the day when he had died as if it happened this morning. It was at the Department of Secrets, where the members of the Order were all fighting Death Eaters. Suddenly, Lilla felt an irresistible urge to look to her left. And what she saw drew all the breath out of her. A streak of light. Bellatrix Lestrange pointing her wand at Sirius. And Sirius, falling back through the black curtain hanging in an old archway. Falling through the Veil, a border between the world of the living and the world of the dead. If you crossed this border, there was no going back. She was so astounded she didn’t move a muscle. She was staring at the Veil, waiting for Sirius to get up, draw the curtain aside and get back to fight.

But he never did.

All that had happened later that day she heard from Remus Lupin, because she couldn’t remember any of this. She learned that when most of the combatants had rushed to the Atrium, she was still standing there, staring at the Veil. She was murmuring she could hear Sirius’ voice behind the curtain. So she took one step, then another, being drawn to the whispers behind the curtain. One more step and she would have been on the other side as well, if it hadn’t been for Remus who caught her at the last moment, dragging her away.

It was only when she realized the truth she never wanted to accept, that she started screaming. A bellow of fury, grief, and agony broke out of her throat. A black beast of despair clutched her heart in an iron grip, not allowing her to breathe.

Later, she passed out.

After Sirius’ death, she felt devastated. She knew Harry didn’t feel any better, but it was a different kind of pain. Incomparable, though also extremely strong and breath-taking.There were moments when she didn’t even want to get up. But she decided to keep going, for his sake. A few days before his death, when they had been sitting in the kitchen, Sirius caught her hand and, locking his eyes with hers, said:

‘Promise me something. Two things, actually.’

His expression was so solemn that her smile vanished.

‘Promise me,’ he continued, bending his head slowly, ‘that when I can’t, you will protect Harry with all your might.’

‘But, Sirius…’

‘Please, Lilla, listen to me. He is like a son to me and I wouldn’t stand it if anything happened to him. I can’t leave this damn house and I can’t be with him as often as I would like to. That’s why I’m asking you to take my place when I’m not around. Just keep an eye on him, and help him if he needs it, all right?’

Lilla was so dumbfounded at first that she forgot he was waiting for her to answer.

Sirius saw her reaction and a sly smile lightened up his features.

‘Promise me, Lilla,’ he whispered.

She forgot how to speak, so she just nodded earnestly and Sirius offered her a grateful smile, kissing the back of her hand.

‘What’s the other thing?’ she asked when she finally found her voice. ‘You told me about two promises.’

Sirius leant forward.

‘Promise me…. that you will always smile.’

Only then did she realize she had been holding her breath. She let out a sigh and burst out laughing. Sirius joined her, and his bark-like laughter reverberated in the room. The echo of that laughter ringed in her head when she came back to reality.

That memory kept her going. She realized that now she had to be stronger than ever. She had made a promise she was about to keep. For Sirius’ sake. She would never break a word given to him.

She understood that she wasn’t the only one who loved him, that she wasn’t the only one suffering. What about Harry? For so many years this boy had been lonely, not even knowing the truth about his family. He had suffered more than any human being ever should. And still, things were not looking up.

So, at some point, she stopped grieving. She understood Sirius wouldn’t want her to just lie down and cry.

But a lot had changed. She was no longer the same person she used to be.

She was no longer scared of death. Not anymore. Because when she died, she would finally be able to see Sirius again. That would be the time when she would be happy again, loved again.

She smiled. She smiled as often as she could. That was what owed Sirius. “Smile for me” – he kept saying and that was exactly what she had promised to do. She would fuck the world right in the ass. She would smile at the absurdity, she would smile at her enemies, she would fucking die smiling.

But only these closest to her, a couple of her true friends could see how much sadness was hidden behind these smiling eyes, and how much she had distanced herself from other people. She hadn’t been with another man since Sirius’ death. She distanced herself especially from men, as she didn’t want to be reminded of what she had lost.

She had made some promises she was about to keep. Keeping Harry alive, helping him, smiling.

After a while it became a mantra. Keep Harry alive. Help him. Smile.

Harry alive. Help. Smile.

Harry.

Smile.

But she made one more promise. She swore to herself she would have her revenge. No matter what it took, she would avenge Sirius’ death. By any means. A wave of rage overflowed her whenever she thought of Bellatrix Lestrange. She always saw her smiling face, rejoicing over killing the only man Lilla had ever truly loved.

They might have had a future together.

And that all-evil bitch had taken it away from them.

There was no way she could get away with that.

But right now there was no time for personal issues. Not when the whole wizard world was at stake.
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Out of Darkness