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Sex Ed	By : Alcoholic_Rootbeer Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Draco/Hermione Views: 39780 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 4
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. I don't own the characters, the ideas, or the books. I just like to imagine in JK's world for a bit. I am not making a profit from this story.

Chapter List
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Yay for all of the love! Thank you everyone for your thoughts and suggestions. Special thanks to LightofEvolution for giving me real source material of teenage questions to work with. Hope everyone loves the chapter!
A.
Birds do it, bees do it
Got a feeling even priests do it
I don't believe we've met before
Won't you please do it with me?
Could I buy you drink, could I sing you a song
I could start a war or we could both just get along
I could build a wall, or I could tear it down
And I could tell you why everything's that same old...lie
"Birds Do It" by KONGOS
"Today, we will be answering any, and all, questions you might have." Professor Granger began. "So please. Take a seat and write anonymously on the cards provided for you about questions you have about this classroom, what you'd like to take away from this course, or perhaps any concerns that you might want to address. I assure you, no question is a ridiculous one, and curiosity doesn't kill the cat."
Draco Malfoy quirked up a silent eyebrow as he thought about another name for a cat and how curiosity had gotten the better of him to want to pet Granger's instead of humoring this unbearable class with his presence. They had decided to host the combined classes in the Great Hall; one, because it held all four houses of each year with no issues, and two, because being stuck in a cramped room with each other would surely make them want to rip out each other's hair (in anger, of course. Not lust. Never lust.)
The students had been encouraged by Professor Granger to sit where they wanted, regardless of House status, and so the overly excited Fifth years scattered in a vast array of reds, greens, blues and yellows. One of Draco's personal favorites, a Slytherin lad by the name of Wallace Prince, was chatting up two Hufflepuff girls at the same time. It did Draco's heart proud.
Professor Granger looked a bit flushed today, he noticed, as she fanned herself with her hand. She was purposefully avoiding his gaze at every opportunity, only sharing glances when absolutely imperative to the preparation of class. The class was held in the evening, before dinner, so the students had spent a majority of their morning with free time. It added to their rowdiness. In the center of the Hall, near Headmistress McGonagall's podium, sat a cubed box with a slit at the top. Written on the sides were little question marks and bobbly eyes. It was a tad childish, Draco thought, but then again, these were children. He was sure that they couldn't ask too many questions. They had the Restricted section and Granger's deplorable textbook to go off of.
One by one, the students came up to the box and dropped their card through the slit; some were anxious and quick, others in groups or pairs as they giggled into their hands. A crowd of Gryffindor adolescent girls gave Draco the 'I want to do my Professor' eyes as they turned in their cards. Draco was both flattered and repulsed. He was not into prison-bait, thank you very much.
Granger's face flushed a bit more as she walked up to him, clipboard used as her fan. "Is it hot in here today?"
Draco smirked. He might have had a hand in casting a heating charm to her wardrobe while she wasn't looking earlier in the hour. It would wear off eventually, but he did enjoy the bit of discomfort she had in her robes while she attempted to keep a calm head in front of her students. "No, I guess that's just you."
"Oooh!" One of the Gryffindor boys close by nudged his friend in the arm. "Did you hear that? Professor Malfoy called Professor Granger hot!"
"I assure you, Mr. Wayne, that was the furthest thing from my mind," Draco sneered, giving them a tasteful scowl that would have made Severus Snape proud.
Granger chuckled into the back of her hand and fanned herself with her clipboard. "Either way, it is what you said, Professor." She reached up to the top button of her robes and pulled it through its loop.
"What are you doing?" Draco frowned.
"I'm removing my robes," she replied simply as she undid the second button. "Here, hold this." She shoved the clipboard into his hands and set to work on her robes.
Draco cleared his throat, attempting to avert his eyes elsewhere. "That's highly unprofessional."
"Well I'm not stark nude under them. See?" As the last button was undone, she let the fabric fall off of her shoulders to reveal a red polo shirt and khaki capris. The shirt clung tightly around her womanly curves, accentuating the allure -no, the immodesty of her breasts. Draco shook his head from his daze as she tossed her robes onto his head. "Ah. Much better."
"What the-what!" He reached up and grappled at the fabric, pulling it off of his face and throwing it down to the floor. "Professor Granger," he began, "I know that you've only been here less than a month, but at Hogwarts we have a strict dress code that dictates certain articles of clothing must be worn by the students as well as the professors during teaching hours."
"Oh, believe me, Professor Malfoy, I'm very much aware. But I don't know if I could have taken a moment longer in those."
"I'll report you," he challenged.
She raised a cool eyebrow. "And I'll simply tell the Headmistress you hexed my robes."
Damn her. Damn her always being a step ahead.
Professor Granger gathered up her robes from the bottom of his feet, bending over. Her face was mere inches from his pelvis, and it took everything in him not to think about what her face would be like down there and all of his clothing removed. Did she have a soft tongue? Was it wet and teasing and-
"Professor Malfoy?"
"-What?" He jerked his eyes in the direction of a fifth year Ravenclaw girl with flaxen colored hair. "Oh. Erm. Ms. Wallum. What do you need?"
"I was just curious, sir," she said, playing with one of her curls as she twirled it around her finger, "Why you're teaching this class with Professor Granger. What does Potions have to do with Sexual Education?"
Draco internally winced. Hearing one of his students utter the word 'sexual' was just not on his list of things to do today.
As always, Granger was quick to chime in, setting a hand on Draco's shoulder and giving her best teacher-smile. "Quite a bit, actually. Isn't that right, Professor Malfoy? Doesn't Potions have to do with Sexual Education?"
"You're enjoying this too much…" He muttered to her, clearing his throat and glancing down to Wallum. He couldn't think anything profound or particularly notable, so he shrugged Granger's hand off of his shoulder and said, "What she said. -And Ms. Wallum, please refrain from using the word 'sexual.' You're fifteen, for Merlin's sake."
"Ignore him," Granger told her. "He might be young and handsome on the outside, but on the inside he's a shriveled up old man who just wants children to leave his stoop. -Fear of a word only increases the fear of the word itself. Say sexual as properly as you can, and you're all set."
"Thanks, Professor Granger!" Wallum skipped off to join her friends, leaving Draco to turn his head and glare at his once childhood rival turned now educational rival.
"Ignore me? That's your advice? Ignore me?"
"I'm only taking a page out of Professor L's playbook," she smirked at him, pressing a finger to his chest. "And he was right. It really is the only way to get through a day knowing you exist." Draco opened his mouth to say something, but she cut him off as she walked away from him and approached the podium, waving at him to follow. With a roll of the eyes, he did. When he was by her side, she levitated the box over to them and conjured up a stool to rest it on. "Thank you all so, so much for your questions! While we won't be able to get through every single one, Professor Malfoy and I will be diligent in answering all other questions in a pamphlet we will give out our next session."
"We will?" Draco lulled, making the children laugh. Granger stepped on his foot underneath the podium. "Oof!"
"Question number one!" She reached over to the box, removed the top, and plucked out a folded slip. She read the note quietly to herself, the corners of her lips pulling up in a humorous grin. "I think Professor Malfoy should take this one. Professor?"
Draco rolled his eyes and snatched up the paper from her. His eyes went wide as saucers as he read it to himself. 'Who invented sex?' He coughed, narrowed his eyes, muttered, "Is this a joke?" And then squared his shoulders as he addressed the class. "Who invented… sex." He said the last word with a monotone drawl that reminded himself of Professor Snape. The Hall lit up with sniggers, laughs, and hoots. Oh yes. This first question was a doozy. "Well," he cleared his throat, "I suppose that would depend on your Theology… It's a… primal instinct… so…" The class withered into tittering giggles.
Granger stepped up closer to him and butted in when she so clearly wasn't invited. Not that he was complaining. He was drowning in embarrassment. "I would say that the first beings to procreate through reproduction instead of asexual reproduction invented it."
Draco crumbled up the paper and threw it over his shoulder. Damn. Her answer was so much more intelligent than his. "Alright, Professor. Another." He snapped his fingers, and Granger found another one from the bottom of the box. Draco snatched it from her and smirked. "Why do people have sex when it's so complicated?" The class didn't find it amusing the way he did, and anxious eyes stared up at him as pink tinted their cheeks. "Well, that's an easy one. Because humans don't think when they decide to become intimate. It isn't until after that they feel any sort of complications such as emotions and whatnot."
"That's quite nice, Professor Malfoy," Said Granger, "But I believe the asker was inquiring about the act itself?"
Double damn! Of course they were. Of course they bloody well were… fuck.
Granger continued. "Sex isn't as complicated as one might think. But Professor Malfoy does bring up a valid point -that unless one would like heartbreak and questions, he or she should really take into account their actions beforehand and assess the situation accordingly. To expect celibacy from each and every one of you until you marry is unrealistic and a bit pretentious. You are teenagers learning to explore your own bodies. So, if you do decide to take that next step, remember to do it in good conscience with someone you care about."
"Or at least can stand to stomach in the morning," Draco muttered to her under his breath. Much to his surprise, she laughed. It made his lips turn upwards.
She picked up a new slip of paper and blinked a few times. "What do you do when you have an erection and the teacher calls you up to the board?" The entire class lit up in a roar of laughter, save but for a few stragglers who didn't find it amusing one bit. Draco imagined that those blokes were probably the boner-wielding brats themselves who got a chubby for Granger. Was it getting warm in here? He tugged on the collar of his robes; they were suddenly too tight and very itchy. "Well," said Granger, "I suppose you could think about something very unpleasant. Professor Malfoy seems to do the trick for myself." The entire room lit up in a sea of sniggers. Granger laughed with them, gathered her wits, and said, "You are never to repeat that outside of this Hall, do you understand? -And it's perfectly normal for a teenage body to go through hormonal changes, which would elicit erections from even the most innocent of individuals. Professor Malfoy, do you have anything to add?"
He jutted out his chin, narrowed his eyes, and said, "If you should find yourself in a situation such as the one in question, it's always an acceptable to politely decline or excuse yourself until you feel more yourself."
He watched Granger's brown eyes search his own, giving him a 'really, that's what you have?' look. He leered his gaze over to the box and encouraged her to pluck out a new one. If there was one time where Draco Malfoy wished he was in Azkaban, it would be right now. At least Azkaban didn't force you to answer ridiculous questions to an entire age group you would see tomorrow morning. She handed him the slip and he unfolded it. "Is it acceptable… ac… acceptable…" His voice faltered as he was taken aback by the lack of tact with this question. Not wanting to be outdone by Granger, he forced down his pride and started again. "Is it acceptable to masturbate? Or is it bad?" He exchanged glances with Professor Granger and told her with a nod that he had this. "Choosing to engage in sexual acts with yourself is as normal as trying on new clothes. Find something you like and tuck it away for later use."
"That was… quite… insightful, Professor Malfoy."
"Anything you'd like to add, Professor Granger?"
She shook her head, smiling as if she were quite impressed with his response. "I think you've covered it." The next question was just as forward as the last. "Why are there flavored condoms?" Condoms… he had heard her say this word before, the night that she had berated him for simply pointing out her book was full of ridiculous notions and nonsense. He supposed he should eventually find out what it was. Tucking a mental note for later in the back of his mind, he waited patiently for her response. "Well… if you've ever had a dentist's glove in your mouth, you would know the taste of latex isn't a very intriguing one. And since a condom is usually made of latex, a flavored condom acts as a barrier between the mouth and genitals during oral sex to prevent sexually transmitted diseases." Wait… he just heard the words 'oral sex' right? Oral sex? Condoms served a purpose with oral sex? Maybe he really should look into these 'condoms'. Purely for academic reasons, of course…
He found her eyes staring up at him as she presented him with a new slip. He couldn't help but think that he would thoroughly enjoy whatever a condom was if it meant her pretty pink lips could be wrapped tightly around his cock. -Fuck. Stop it. All this sexual talk was getting him flustered. Did no one else think it was extremely hot in here? Had Granger hexed him with a heating spell of her own? Or was that just the way she was looking at him?
He scanned his eyes over the question on the card, relieved when her gaze fell from his own. The words fell out of his mouth before he realized what they said. "Is sex like in the pornographic movies I found on the internet?" He scowled. "What the bloody Hell is an internet?"
"Language, Professor Malfoy," Granger chastised. "And to answer the question, sex can be very romantic or destructive, depending on the situation and personal preferences. Pornographic videos put an expectation of perfection in the mind. Not everyone is built a certain way, and you should never degrade yourself to comparing your bodies or your preferences to something of fiction."
A boy with sandy colored hair in Hufflepuff robes shot his hand up into the air. Draco called on him. "Yes, Hough?"
"What does Professor Granger mean by personal preferences?"
Draco couldn't help but wonder as he glanced over at her what her personal preferences might be. Was she the goody two shoes who only enjoyed a romp in between the sheets on scheduled evenings after penciling in fifteen minutes of foreplay like the aggravating perfectionist she was? Or… was she a naughty school girl underneath that brazen exterior who would enjoy doing anything to a man as long as she could get that passing grade? Was she a submissive little minx? A dominatrix? Asexual?
"Personal preferences are what you enjoy," she answered Rodney Hough, "The sort of actions that get your potion brewing, so to speak. There are some people who prefer courting for months, or even years, before ever becoming intimate with someone. There are others who enjoy exploring their bodies by themselves, or in the company of individuals with… extreme tastes. But I'm getting off of subject, and that is far too much information for today. Another question, shall we?"
The sixth years weren't much better.
"Is it alright to try on condoms to make sure they're the right size?"
They have a size? Draco thought. He really needed to do his research.
"You most certainly should," Granger answered, "You can buy individuals and try them on in privacy."
Perhaps the fourth years would apply their child-like innocence.
"What does semen taste like?"
Like he didn't much know what the answer was, because he was a man who hadn't ever considered to ask it.
"The taste varies from individual to individual. But imagine, if you will, egg whites that have been dashed with a bit of salt. Anything more than that, and the man should definitely be seen by a healer immediately." Of course she'd have the answer. Wait, did that mean that she's tasted it? That would mean she'd have to have performed oral sex… that 'flavored condom' was sounding more and more interesting by the moment.
"Can I get pregnant from sharing a bathroom with a boy?"
It was Draco's turn to answer. "The only way to become pregnant is through variations of sexual acts. But, should you ever concern yourself with these worries, there are potions to prevent pregnancies."
"Yes," Granger interjected, "But if not brewed the correct way could lead to unplanned pregnancies and a bundle full of dirty diapers." The classroom paled.
"Abstinence is the best course of action, in any case," Draco added.
"What's abstinence?" Shouted a boy from the back. Draco and Granger exchanged glances, fighting what they knew they were both thinking: a bloody pain in the ass, that's what it was.
"It's refraining from sexual activities," said Granger, shifting on her feet as if she were lost in thought. Was she just as sexually pent up as he was? Not towards him, of course, but in general?
The seventh years were the worst of the bunch.
"What do I do if I think I'm pregnant?"
Draco scowled. "You should see Madam Pomfrey at once. And question your life choices."
"Professor Malfoy!" Gasped Granger, nudging him in the ribs with her elbow. "Ignore Professor Malfoy's last comment. We should all be so prude."
"Perhaps you should," he sneered.
"What are different variations of foreplay?"
Foreplay. Merlin, Draco hadn't thought about foreplay in such a very long time. But now that he thought about it, he could probably go into excruciating details of all of the tiny subtleties that foreplay could elicit from a woman who was wriggling beneath you… perhaps, it was best if Granger took this one.
"Foreplay ranges from physical stimulations such as kissing and the like," she said, "to words or actions. It can range anywhere from ten seconds to hours, and it occurs as anything that enhances sexual arousal."
Like the way Granger's breasts teased him in that shirt on Tuesday night? Did that count? Merlin, he was going to need to buy less thick robes. It was certainly too hot in here.
"Describe sexual tension," Draco read out loud to the class. His eyes scanned the room of barely legal adults and shifted his glance over to Granger. She had a hint of pink on the top of her cheeks, and as soon as her eyes met his she glances quickly away. Heh. This might be easier than he thought. "Sexual tension is an interaction between two individuals that are sexually attracted to one another, but," he tried to keep his eyes forward instead of his instinct to bore his eyes into Granger's as he spoke, "the consummation is postponed or perhaps never happens at all."
When the class had ended and the students filtered out, Draco made it a point to slip out of the room without her notice, thinking to himself that he most certainly needed a cold shower and an entire arsenal of Playwitch magazines to get him through the weekend.
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Sex Ed