Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Illusions Of Reality	By : Alexa_Sterling Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Draco/Hermione Views: 11052 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: For Fan fiction. I do not own Harry Potter or the characters. I don't make any money/profit by writing this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Beginnings
- 2-Nobody
- 3-Scars
- 4-Stares
- 5-Dreams
- 6-Requests
- 2
- 3
- 4
Author Notes:
Hello, Everyone! Thank you for your support! I appreciate the reviews, dragon prints and everything. Do read and review! And I'm sorry to say, the updates might not be as regular as they are now because I'm busy and really can't spare time! Thank you so so so much for all the dragon prints and reviews again!
Love,
Alex.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything. Harry Potter is all the property of J.K. Rowling. I'm just playing with her characters. I do not make any profit with this fan fiction.
Chapter 3: Scars.
1st September 1998, Tuesday, 10:22 P.M, Gryffindor Compartment, Hogwarts Express, 25 Km from Hogsmeade Station.
It was extreme chaos by the time I reached the Gryffindor compartment. People were swarming over a limp body.
"Move over" I yelled over the crowd's noise and people scattered. I stifled a gasp. The boy had deep carved cuts and gashes all over him. He was unconscious. Luna was leaning by his side and cleaning his wounds. His white shirt seemed soaked with blood. Nobody even changed into their Hogwarts robes. We had too much going on. The boy was probably of 5th year. Maybe Ravenclaw. He seemed barely breathing. His hands and legs were giving involuntary twitches. And judging by the awkward angle of his leg, he seemed to have broken quite a few bones.
"Why haven't you tried any healing charms on him?" I asked rushing over to him.
"We tried. We couldn't manage. I tried to heal his wounds as well. But as we close one, more open up" Padma Patil answered. I even understood the unsaid statement. You kept Harry and Ron alive. You are a war hero. You can do this. They looked up to me to do this.
"Let me try," I said hesitantly and earned a few concerned looks.
"Terego," I said and dried blood vanished. The bleeding started in a few seconds again.
"What—" I started. I had just made the dried blood vanish. Why is it bleeding again?
"He was found with this" Dean said pointing at something black. I peeped to look at it. It was a half burnt mask, the same one I saw on the wall. The Beyond. No... It can't be.
Dean was about to pick it up when I yelled: "DON'T TOUCH IT!" Everyone flinched.
"It's cursed" I mumbled breathlessly.
"Cursed?" Ginny asked. "But he isn't floating in the air, is he? Like Katie?"
"I have read about them, It's not always flying," I said thinking how this mask came into his hands and how to deal with it. There was no Snape now.
"Hermione!" Padma shrieked catching my attention as the boy started twitching uncontrollably and coughing up blood. I lost my nerve.
"DO SOMETHING!" Neville yelled as people started creating a rampage. I was thinking. What? what .. is even happening. He looked like... he was being tortured. He was turning ..Blue? What? He wasn't able to breathe!!!
"Anapeno!" I bellowed with my wand pointed straight at him and Dean jumped out of the way.
The boy's uncontrollable spasms slowed down and he started turning to a pale shade of white. He was losing a lot of blood. I had to do something.
"Luna, Bandage all his wounds and Ginny, cast a Ferula on his leg. It must hold his leg for a while." I said running off to find my bag pack
"Where the fuck is my bag!" I roared and Neville shrank back from me. I sighed. The voices were swarming me again.
"Where is my bag?" I asked through gritted teeth.
"Here," Parvati said slowly and carefully returned the bag. I rummaged in it for my little-beaded bag which miraculously kept the three of us alive. My hand was shaking. It was like Ron splinching all over again.
"Accio Essence of Dittany," I said and the small vial of my replenished supplies flew to my hand.
"Here" I thrust it into Parvati's hands "Apply this on his wounds. A very little would suffice"
"Neville, feed him this to replenish blood," I said handing him over my bottle of blood replenishing potion.
"Do you think it would work?" He asked.
"It did for Ron and Harry. We have to keep him alive for now. Until we can get help. Until we reach the castle. It's the last thing I could do for him" I said shaking my head.
Luna, Padma, Parvati, Ginny and Neville were tending to the boy. While others were scurrying around.
"Move," I said slowly parting the crowd around the mask.
"Hermione... it's glowing," Seamus whispered in panic.
"Stay away" I commanded. "Bring a bag, box or anything to keep this thing," I said hurriedly.
"I have a sweets box .. will it work?" Terry Boot asked me hesitantly noticing my bad mood.
"Anything" I muttered. "Wingardium Leviosa," I said lifting up the glowing mask. "Fast!" I yelled as I felt the mask fighting against my hold.
"STAND BACK," I said to the surrounding crowd who parted instantly. Terry opened the box and I levitated the mask which was now twitching uncontrollably. Terry looked horror stricken.
I was about to close the lid of the box and seal it magically when the mask glowed and words appeared on it and my heart stilled.
We are watching you.
It would be an understatement if I fainted. I froze without any moment. The beyond. This is serious. I had to report this. But Malfoy claimed he would see to it. Why should I trust him with this? He is a death eater! He was responsible for Dumbledore's death, he let death eaters in. But .. he isn't the spoiled prat I knew anymore. He seemed matured enough. I had to speak to him.
"Hermione?" Terry asked hesitantly.
"Yes?" I asked snapping out of my haze and blinking.
"The box?" He said meeting my eyes questioningly.
"Oh .. yes .." I said sealing it shut. "Place it in an empty cabin," I told. Terry fumbling slightly, did it. The box seemed vibrating.
"Protego Horriblis" I cast on the cabin and shut the door with Colloportus.
"Let's get out this compartment. Come on .." I told as I saw the box started giving out tendrils of black from it.
"Don't let people go out of your sights. Come on, Move!" I yelled and every one of us scattered and hurried to the Ravenclaw compartment. I helped to levitate the boy, Austin was his name, to the other compartment.
1st September 1998, Tuesday, 10:52 P.M, Ravenclaw Compartment, Hogwarts Express, 17 Km from Hogsmeade Station.
I could tell it easily. People were scared. They sat huddled with their possessions hugged to their chests. Everyone looked worn out. Many had wrinkled clothes and dusty appearance from all the relocating. I sat with my head cradled in my hands thinking what is happening again?
"How is he?" I asked Luna as soon as she came out of the cabin
"Stable. Alive. The blood replenishing potion is working. He should be able to hold up for few hours" Luna replied in a dreamy voice twirling her dirty blonde hair.
"Luna, You have blood all over you," I said getting up.
"I know." She replied.
"Let me clean it for you," I said made an attempt to move towards her and winced at the throbbing in my head
"Thank you, Hermione. But you need rest. Too many wrackspurts" She said.
"You can see them without your spectrespecs as well?" I asked.
"I don't need them to tell you're disoriented and gloomy Hermione" She replied without any emotion like she always does.
"I'm going back. Do you need anything?" She asked.
"Uh," I said at a loss for few moments.
"Well. Bye Hermione" Luna said bouncing towards the door.
"Wait .. Luna! Will you please ask the people who first found Austin and mask to come to me please?" I requested.
"Sure" She chirped
"Luna, Do you need some Murtlap essence for Austin?" I asked
"It would be nice." She replied. I gave her the essence and she went away humming an eerie tune earning many looks.
A while later came in Michael Corner, Ernest Macmillan and with a polite knock Anthony Goldstein. Corner had a scar on his temple probably due to the Carrows last year. Not to mention Goldstein looked quite hot with his blue eyes and Blonde hair now all standing up.
"You called us?" Corner asked.
"Yes, I wanted to ask about Austin. Forgive me for not approaching you, I have a bit of a headache" I apologised.
"It's okay." Goldstein offered me a smile.
"Thank you. Back to the point, How did Austin find the mask?" I asked.
"How do you know it is a mask?" Corner asked sharply.
"It is. Unless you didn't see it properly" I said meeting his gaze.
"It is a piece of parchment." Corner argued.
"No. As far as I remember ... It was a cup" Goldstein said frowning.
"I thought it was a bird," Macmillan said. All of us fell silent for a moment.
"It sounds like a boggart to me. But I never heard cursed boggarts and I'm not afraid of masks .." I reasoned.
"I'm not afraid of parchment either. Austin went out. A while ago. He said his kneazle escaped. He promised to return in a moment" Corner said.
"And you just let him go? When I specifically asked you not to let anyone out of your sight?" I questioned.
"Austin is a good kid. He never caused any trouble. He stayed away from all types of excitement and adventure. Hell, the kid doesn't even play Quidditch. Why couldn't I trust him?" Corner reasoned leaning back.
"He didn't return for quite some time. His friend came to us reporting his absence. We were searching for him everywhere when Ernie came running to us" Goldstein said.
"I found him lurking in the shadows talking to himself. He saw me and did something that looked like throttling himself. His kneazle ran away from us. Then he took out that cursed object, whatever it was, to me a bird, out of his pocket" Macmillan narrated.
"The bird started glowing and started producing all sorts of weird sounds. I yelled at Austin repeatedly to let go. He didn't. He was laughing. His eyes were glazed and I was terrified. I was about to call for help when he said something .." Macmillan faltered.
"What did he say?" I asked.
"Behold our Might" Ernie muttered.
1st September 1998, Tuesday, 11:55 P.M, Ravenclaw Compartment, Hogwarts Express, Hogsmeade Station.
After that Austin lifted the bird and kept it on his face which again proves I was right. It was a mask. Then he ended up in a pool of blood. Goldstein and other had to haul him into the train. They had gloves on to keep their hands warm. They weren't cursed. The mask fell on the ground when the train suddenly started and people were too scared to touch it when Macmillan said what Austin did with it.
None even had the slightest idea how he ended up near the Hufflepuff compartment on the side entirely opposite to which he got down. By the time we reached Hogwarts, I was ready to faint again. I had a terrible Migraine. Nobody even questioned me about the happenings with Malfoy. I didn't even see him for the rest of the journey though I was itching to seek him out and question him about everything. Starting from his return to this.
Professor McGonagall and many faces I recognised greeted us at the station. Professor Flitwick, Professor Sprout, Professor Slughorn, Hagrid came to us looking extremely panicked.
"Hagrid please escort the children back to the castle. We just have to cancel the journey across the lake" Professor, Now Headmistress McGonagall replied. No one even dared to object.
"Please Everyone, Change into your robes and be there for the feast. There are announcements to make" Professor told us. There were many groans.
"I know you all are tired. But it's important to have your dinner" Professor Sprout offered.
"I have no appetite what so ever" Ginny mumbled. She looked extremely tired with her hair dirty and clothes even torn at places. I briefly wondered that I must be looking like a beast with my hair.
"Professor. A boy, 5th year Ravenclaw, he is hurt" I told her and Professor seemed slightly taken aback.
"Hurt?" She asked peering at me through her square spectacles.
"He has been cursed. Some unidentified object when the train halted in the middle. We managed to check his vitals and keep him alive. I really don't want to discuss this now. We must hurry and take him to Madam Pomfrey or to St. Mungo's" I replied quickly.
Professor gave me a curt nod and followed me as others left with Hagrid. Luna was still tending to him. Professor McGonagall flinched slightly when she saw Austin.
"Oh, Merlin" Professor Sprout muttered.
"Take him to Madam Pomfrey, Pomona. Miss Lovegood, You go as well" She said.
"Miss Granger, Where is the cursed object?" She asked.
"In the Gryffindor compartment," I replied and showed her the place.
"I sealed it shut in a box and cast some shield charms .." I muttered.
"Good thinking Miss Granger. 50 points to Gryffindor" She said.
"Everyone else helped as well," I said.
"Even the Slytherins?" She questioned. I fell silent. They didn't even turn up after what happened to Malfoy.
"Filius take this back to the castle please, Ask for Howard as well." Professor McGonagall asked.
"Horace, Please talk to the driver and make sure everything in the castle has been arranged," She said.
"Howard is taking care of the arrangements" Professor Slughorn replied.
"Howard?" I asked turning to Professor McGonagall.
"Professor Howard Whitfield. The new Defence against dark arts teacher." She answered. Great. Another one. Then it hit me.
"Was he the one supposed to travel in the Prefects compartment?" I asked and Professor McGonagall blanched.
"Yes. How do ...you ... Never mind. You amaze me Miss Granger truly" Professor Slughorn said and left.
On our way back I told Professor McGonagall my version of the story in the carriage. Everyone could see the thestrals now. She was becoming more and more stern with every moment
"Miss Granger, Great Hall, in 10 minutes," She said and left. I was about to go to Gryffindor common room when Neville pulled me aside.
"Where are you going?" He asked.
"Common Room.," I said surprised.
"There is no place in the common rooms. They are filled with the new 1st years and 2nd years. They have arranged us new housing facilities" He said.
"New Housing what?" I said and was floored the moment I saw it.
On the other side of the castle near the Broom sheds, there was a new building. With two towers it looked a lot like mini Hogwarts.
"What the hell?" I said.
"It's for 7th years exclusively! We get our rooms as well. There are the Gryffindor and Ravenclaw towers. Hufflepuff and Slytherin share the dungeons. There is a collective common room for all houses as well" He explained.
"Go on. Our names are written on the doors. They are password protected. Each one of them. It's awesome" He said and left me to my own devices.
He was absolutely right. I had my room on the topmost wing. It was the only room in the entire corridor. The room was guarded by an otter portrait.
"Jean" I set the password after my mum's name. The portrait swung open revealing the beautiful apartment. It was spacious and luxurious with many arm chairs, couches, a love seat, plush rugs, a nice fire place, A cosy window sill and a huge book shelf. It even had Wooden cabinets, tables for writing, Tea tables, Few Empty portraits, Plants. It was all decorated in red and gold. Made me feel like our Gryffindor common room. There was a tiny kitchen as well. I was surprised. Weren't we supposed to have food in the Great Hall? My culinary skills improved greatly due to Molly and my mum's cook books.
The bathroom was even larger than my own house's. The bed room was even more fantastic. I didn't have words to describe it. It had a large bed. (Really large) Another fire place, A grandfather clock. Cabinets, wardrobes, a chaise lounge, a cherry wood dresser and a nice regal mirror, Night stands, Candle stands, A rocking chair. All in deep burgundy and red colours. It looked so cosy that I just wanted to roll on the bed and sleep. Crooks was already asleep in his bed. Lucky cat.
2nd September 1998, Wednesday, 12:32 A.M, Great Hall, Hogwarts.
When I finally dressed up and came to the great hall, My legs were aching. It was a long way. Every seemed to be already there. I quickly sat beside Ginny who offered me a smile. The sorting was completed. I missed it.
"How are the rooms?" She asked.
"Fantabulous," I said grinning.
"Obviously, Neville isn't shutting up since he came," Dean said laughing. The feast had already begun. I quickly started eating. Hogwarts was home and the food was Heaven. I was still planning to continue S.P.E.W. But, I had to eat, hadn't I? And elves seemed so happy about cooking. Harry had it drilled into me along with some quips from Ron.
I couldn't resist looking over to the Slytherin table. There he was prodding at his food half-heartedly and nodding monotonously as Parkinson was fawning over him. He wasn't listening though. His gaze was fixed on a brunette with pale blue eyes taking to the elder Greengrass sister, Daphne across the table. Pansy followed his line of sight and scowled. She whipped around to talk to Zabini glaring at Malfoy occasionally.
"Who is that?" I asked Ginny pointing at the brunette. Ginny who was busy talking to Parvati looked at her answered distracted.
"That's Astoria Greengrass, Daphne Greengrass's sister. 5th year" She replied.
Both Astoria and Daphne were strikingly beautiful. Though Daphne's blonde hair and blue eyes gave her a regal look, Astoria's soft brown locks and pale blue eyes made her look feminine and extraordinarily pretty. The sisters laughed merrily catching the attention of many boys. Neither of them seemed to notice anyway. Malfoy never once stopped staring at her. It made me uneasy.
"Welcome to another year at Hogwarts," Headmistress McGonagall said catching all the attention. Except Malfoy's who now seemed more interested in pulverising the carrots in his plate.
"Well, I hope you all enjoyed the Start of Term Feast." There were collective hmms. "I'm extremely sorry for the delay. The train had to encounter some technical disturbances. The driver sends his apologies. And as for Mr Samson, he is perfectly fine for now, He is going to be shifted to St. Mungo's tomorrow. This year is going to be different. As we have already mentioned in the letters, all disciplinary posts like Prefects have been annulled for this year. Quidditch captains being the exceptions. And keeping in view of the recent events, The 7th years have been given their own quarters by the Broom sheds and Quidditch stadium. We have even provided them with an opportunity to live on their own, and even a kitchen to cook, as transport to Great Hall is a little problematic. We intend to serve the food there itself if needed until we make further arrangements. And I would also like to take the opportunity to introduce your new Defence against Dark Arts teacher, Professor Howard Whitfield."
Stood up a guy in his mid 40's with chestnut hair arranged stylishly over a pointed, friendly with piercing black eyes, not unlike Snape. He was tall, with a strong athletic build. To me, he looked more a Quidditch player than Professor. There was something curious about him. No doubt he was handsome. Except for the marring scar that stretched over his pale left cheek.
"He looks hot," Ginny remarked.
"He is our Professor Ginny" I answered giving her a pointed look.
"So what? Is there a rule not to check out Professors? No one batted an eye when Lavender fawned over Firenze" She said.
"Touché, Where is Lavender anyway?" I asked. The girl miraculously survived the werewolf attack. She was fine now. No werewolf symptoms and everything. She was extremely lucky.
"The other end of the table," Ginny said.
"Good" I muttered. The girl never forgave me for taking her Won Won from her.
"Let us all raise our goblets to the loved ones lost in the war. In honour of Harry Potter, Hermione Granger and Ronald Weasley and many other brave people who fought in the battle and had to suffer losses for a better future. My heartfelt condolences to everyone and I request every one of you to participate in the rebuilding of the castle. We have incurred huge losses due to battle. The ministry had been kind enough to donate funds and not to mention the huge donations from our War heroes," With a slight nod towards me. "We are happy to announce that with your support we will have Hogwarts back to its original glory in no time. To New Beginnings everyone!" Professor McGonagall said raising her goblet. Everyone cheered. Except for the Slytherin 7th years, who just looked impassive.
"Everyone can head to their common rooms. Heads of your houses will guide you. Also, Professor Slughorn has kindly agreed to fill in the post of Potions Master and as head of Slytherin house and I am continuing as the Transfiguration Professor with Professor Sinistra agreeing to be the head of Gryffindor house. I request the 7th and 6th years to kindly gather in my office. Rest of you can leave. Have a pleasant night" She said.
2nd September 1998, Wednesday, 1:06 A.M, Headmistress Office, Hogwarts.
When we had finally gathered in her office, It was past midnight and we were extremely tired. To my surprise, the even Malfoy showed up looking as bored as ever with Parkinson on his arm. Professor McGonagall eyed us sternly and said.
"Miss Granger, can you re tell the events of today's train ride?" She asked.
"Sure," I said hesitantly and launched into my version of the story. When I had finished, Everyone looked uneasy.
"Anything more to add anyone?" She asked. A few people had to add a thing or two about my absence. Then Macmillan and others recited their story of Austin's attack. Professor grew paler by every moment. It turned out, no one even read the message on the mask. I told her about the shape changing illusion. She seemed to accept the mask theory, Though both of us wondered briefly why it was visible only to me.
"Anyone has any ideas on who might have slipped this cursed object to Austin?" Professor McGonagall asked scanning all of us standing in a semi circle around her table which was once Dumbledore's and Snape's.
"Who else is famous for giving away cursed objects to everyone?" Dean asked with a sarcastic laugh. And my stomach dropped.
"Mr Thomas care to elaborate?" Professor asked with narrowed eyes.
"He is the one! He was the one who gave Katie the cursed necklace!" Dean shouted pointing at Malfoy who looked at him stonily. The other Slytherins like Nott and Zabini openly glared at him.
"Mr Thomas—" Professor McGonagall started but Seamus cut her off.
"Why he is here? WHY ARE DEATH EATER SCUM HERE! He is supposed to be Azkaban! He is the reason for all this! He deserves to be punished!" Seamus yelled. Many others had the same opinion as well. I saw Ginny and Neville voicing their opinion as well. Luna remained expression less. There was a chorus of yes and rights. I knew Malfoy's return was a surprise, that he was a death eater and cannot be trusted, but it was cruel to treat him like shit. Nott looked so furious that Zabini had to restrain him.
"MR. FINNIGAN! I will not tolerate this kind of indiscipline. 20 points taken from Gryffindor. And as for Mr Malfoy, He is clear of all his earlier proven charges and is here on my request." She glared at us as every one of us blanched. Her wand arm was twitching. She was uncomfortable. Something was off. Why is Malfoy here where everyone wants him dead? Why does Professor want him here?
"Mr Malfoy wishes to complete his final year. He will not be any trouble and as for your accusations," She said with a pointed stare at Finnigan "He is innocent until proven guilty! Do you have any proof?" She asked.
"No .. but" Dean started.
"Mr Malfoy where were you when Mr Samson was attacked? Were you in the Slytherin compartment? Do you have any witnesses for your presence?" Professor McGonagall asked. I knew that Nott was going to lie when I saw the determined look on his face but Malfoy shook his head.
"No," He said simply. Professor McGonagall looked momentarily shocked. My heart rate sped. I didn't tell them about the Prefects' compartment. I merely mentioned that I was trapped. No one questioned though Ginny gave me a curious look.
"Where were you then?" She questioned.
"I went to search for the driver." He said. My heart was beating faster every second and I knew by now I would have turned an unhealthy shade of white.
"Did you find him then?" Professor McGonagall asked.
"No. I was trapped in the Prefects' compartment" He said.
"Do you have any witnesses?" She asked. I turned cold. He didn't answer.
"Mr Malfoy, Do you have any witnesses?" She asked again after several moments.
"He doesn't have any! Ask anyone of the Slytherins! He disappeared an hour before Austin's attack!" Corner shouted with a triumphant grin.
"Is it true?" She asked. Many 6th years nodded. 7th years glared openly. They protected Malfoy.
"Mr Malfoy, Due to lack of witness, I have to .." She started.
"I was with him," I said and the entire room fell silent.
"What?" Professor McGonagall asked.
"I said, I was with him when Austin was attacked. I .. I was stuck with him in the Prefects' compartment" I said earning many disbelieving looks.
"Miss Granger, if you are just saying it to save Mr Malfoy.." Professor McGonagall said.
"I have no reason to save him. I'm telling the truth. I didn't mention it earlier because I didn't expect this sort of accusations to crop up. You can even ask Ginny, she was one of the people to rescue us. Dean was there as well" I said. Malfoy was staring at me with an unreadable expression. Why exactly was I saving him?
"Is it Mr Thomas?" She interrogated. Dean faltered.
"Yes," He mumbled. I was debating whether to tell Professor McGonagall about the other incident or not. About the Beyond. Unfortunately, she caught my troubled expression.
"Is there anything you wish to tell me, Miss Granger?" She asked. I looked at Malfoy who looked at me with an unfathomable expression. It was against my very nature ... It was all wrong ... It was foolish. But I did it just because he asked me to.
"No Professor. Nothing" I said clearly. Malfoy's surprised expression that was quickly schooled by a look of indifference didn't go unnoticed by me.
"Then, It is clear that Mr Malfoy is not one to be blamed for this incident. Thank you for the information. Good night everyone" That's Professor McGonagall throwing us out of her office in style.
People threw me looks that said I betrayed them. I managed to escape without Ginny cornering me. Neville and others dragged Seamus and Dean from attacking the Slytherins. I waited till all the noises died down, sitting on the window sill and looking at the view of entire Hogwarts and crept downstairs with my wand.
2nd September 1998, Wednesday 2:47 A.M, Slytherin Dungeons, The New Castle, Hogwarts.
I searched the doors .. almost getting twice by Zabini and Nott and finally found the door with Draco Malfoy label on it. I was eternally grateful that Harry gave me the Marauder's map saying it would be more useful to me. He even offered the invisibility cloak. I convinced him that his Auror training needed it. I stood for many moments before the door with the beautiful dragon portrait weighing the pros and cons. I finally gathered up enough courage to knock on the door. My heart was thundering in my chest. The door swung open.
"Come in," Said a rich voice. I stepped in to take in the surroundings. His room was different than mine, with dark green and black and occasional silver. It looked classy, rich, Royal. But it wasn't the room that left me gaping.
Before me was Draco Malfoy clad in Muggle jeans. Only in jeans.
My mouth went dry. In my line of sight was Malfoy's muscular back and statuesque frame. He wasn't just well built. He had a perfectly chiselled chest with the right amount of muscle and a scandalous v line as well. His muscles rippled and flexed with every breath of his. A toned body with that complexion, I was swooning. It was a miracle that I wasn't drooling. He was a true Greek god with that body of his. It took all my self-control not to jump on him. What is going on with me?
His back wasn't flawless. It was covered with many little scars. They were fresh. Did it look something similar to.. Glass? Today's events replayed in my mind. I gasped. He was hurt while trying to save me during the explosion. I felt guilty. He had to suffer for saving me.
And he heard my gasp and whipped around startled. He was trying to pick out the pieces of glass from his skin and was evidently struggling.
"Granger?" He asked extremely surprised. I was positively drooling at the sight of his bare chest. I managed to close my mouth. What is wrong with me? I was here for something else, wasn't I? What is it?
"What are you doing here at this hour of the night?" He asked not bothering to cover himself up.
"Uh," I said unable to form coherent sentences.
"Granger!?" He snapped apparently annoyed.
"Huh?" I asked startled.
"Do I need to spell it out for you?" He asked.
"I came to thank you" I mumbled the only thing that came to my mind. He was thrown off guard.
"Thank me? For what?" He asked.
"For saving me. For helping me out today." I said.
"You already repaid that by saving my ass before McGonagall anyway," He said suspiciously.
"It was the truth. I stood by the truth" I replied. He seemed to buy that. His expression was again unreadable. Why was he so bloody difficult at times?
"So ... " He said waiting for my gratitude.
"Oh .. Yes... Thank you very much" I said hurriedly taking my eyes off his chest. He noticed it and gave me another smirk. His split lip wasn't healed yet.
"You are welcome Granger though don't make a habit of expecting me to save you. And eyes off my chest, please. Can't have you drooling can we?" He said grinning and turned away.
"Ugh" I made a disgusted noise and stood there awkwardly as he again struggled to heal himself. He noticed my prolonged presence and frowned.
"Granger? You made your point. You even thanked me, didn't you?" He asked turning to face me again.
"Uh yes" I replied hesitantly. Then he glared at me.
"Then what are you even waiting for? GET OUT!" He snarled.
"I wanted to help you in healing those wounds" I blurted out. He was surprised again. But in a matter of seconds, was fuming.
"OUT" He growled, shoving me out of the door.
"Listen to me!" I pleaded. He didn't. "Malfoy! It will just last a few minutes! It's my fault you are hurt! Consider this a favour for saving me!" I reasoned. He stilled.
"You can't do this by yourself. And I know you won't go to Madam Pomfrey. Let me help you! I won't tell anyone. I swear.. Besides, it needs potions to heal! You can't prepare them by yourself! I have some supplies! They work! Austin is healing" I promised. He seemed to think.
"5 minutes" He growled. I grinned.
"5 minutes" I agreed. Then he proceeded to sit on the black love seat. I stood there frozen again.
"Granger? the clock is ticking!" He lashed out impatiently.
"Uh OK! Accio Wound-cleaning potion" I said and walked towards him.
"Malfoy? Do you have some clean cloth and something to wash with?" I asked. He nodded curtly and brought me towels and even bandages. And a bowl of warm water.
I managed to Accio the supply from my room thanks to the open window. I sat there contemplating where to start. I had a pair of forceps. Mum always said it was really good to carry a first aid kit with a floss. Dentists them. I sterilised them with spirit.
"What are you even doing Granger?" Malfoy asked suspiciously eyeing the first aid kit.
"Nothing that will harm you Malfoy. Believe me" I assured.
"Are those Muggle stuff?" He asked sounding disgusted.
"Asks the one who is clad in Muggle jeans," I said washing my hands. He turned scarlet.
"Those bloody idiots lost my luggage! And gave me these disgusting things!" He snapped angrily. I giggled at the absurdity of all this. Why was he even wearing him them? Malfoy I knew would rather roam naked than wear them.
"Stop laughing," He said sharply.
"Sorry," I said in a fit of giggles. I hesitantly sat by him on the love seat. He stiffened.
"Turn around," I said softly, he did as I said. "This might hurt" I warned. He gave a short sarcastic laugh.
"Get on with it Granger, I'm not one of your Boy toys" He growled.
"Fine" I snapped and pulled out one big shard of glass. He gave a gasp. "Stop moving"
There were 24 pieces of glass. I counted each and every one of them memorising their shape and hearing the little clank as I tipped them into a glass bowl. His back was all covered in blood.
"Terego" I muttered and started cleaning the wounds up. It all felt too intimate. Malfoy was breathing heavily. His skin was as smooth as silk to touch. I didn't even understand why he was tolerating a muggle born touching him.
As soon as I dabbed the purple wound cleaning potion on one of the particularly nasty wounds, He shuddered.
"Malfoy," I asked hesitantly. He grunted in response.
"Why are you back?" I asked. He remained silent.
"Malfoy?" I asked again.
"I heard you, Granger." He growled. "Ministry ordered it. Repercussion measures. I had to do community service. Repairing Hogwarts is one of them. McGonagall said it would be useful to complete my education while I'm here" He said quietly. They ordered nothing I knew of. I was sure.
"But .. What about Mrs Malfoy?" I asked my voice quivering not wishing to question his lies.
"She ... She is fine. Mother wanted me to go as well" He replied.
"I didn't report," I said.
"I noticed," He said dryly.
"The mask that cursed Austin was one of The Beyond's. I saw the message on it" I explained.
"Nice to know your brain is working when you are not checking me out. It's thoroughly disgusting you see.." He said. He knew about the mask. How? I snorted when I heard his snide remark and added more potion. He almost howled.
"CAREFUL! Stop marring my flawless skin" He cried.
"Only if you keep that mouth shut," I warned. A few more moments of silence and it was done.
"Keep it with you. For tomorrow" I said thrusting the bottle into his hands.
"Now GET OUT" He snarled.
"Gladly" I replied and walked away and was about to leave when the impulse hit me. He was still sitting on the love seat. I turned back with my wand out and walked to him.
"What in the name of Merlin are you doing?" He asked raising his eyebrow. I sat down beside him meeting his beautiful grey eyes.
"Healing," I said leaning towards him. His eyes widened. Our faces were centimetres apart and I raised my wand. He caught my wrist, his touch branding me.
"Episkey" I mumbled healing his lip. He blinked a few times looking at me. I was lost again to his fragrance, his beauty and to him.
"Well, well, well... You should have told me Draco, that you have such lovely company tonight" Drawled out a accented voice and we both jumped apart
"Zabini!" I breathed out surprised and turning scarlet for being caught in such an embarrassing position with none other than Malfoy.
"Blaise" Malfoy gritted out. "What the fuck are you doing in my room?" He asked.
"Well, I found your door open and came to check on you. But well .. you seem to have company" Blaise said smirking.
"I .. I was just leaving" I mumbled. And quickly got up.
"It's okay Granger. You both can continue what ever you are doing" He said with a wink. What?
"We were not doing anything. I'm leaving." I said indignantly and rushed out. After walking until the end of the corridor, I remembered I forgot my wand. I stood by the door while they were still talking. Blaise noticed me. Malfoy didn't.
"Though how I much it kills me, I have to agree with Granger on this one," Malfoy said.
"Now .. now Draco. You don't have to hide just because I stumbled upon. It's okay. My mouth is sealed shut" Blaise said smoothly.
"I'm not hiding anything. She came to talk to me about the incident in the train" At that Blaise raised an eyebrow.
"Come on Blaise, Why would I sully myself with the likes of her? She is not even shagging material! Stop looking at me that way. She is the insufferable Know it all" He snarled. I took a step back.
"Draco" Blaise started noticing my reaction.
"What? Even for pulling my leg don't you think it's a bit extreme to associate me with her! You might think she is some sort of celebrity. To me, She is always a mud blood. Not worthy of my time, not even worthy of a glance. Ones who are better under my foot than as my equal" He bellowed and I felt the anger bubble up in me. He hadn't changed a bit.
"Draco!" Blaise warned looking at me turning red in anger.
"WHAT?" He asked and Blaise glanced at me. Malfoy looked at me and turned pale.
"Granger," He said taking a step towards me.
"Accio," I said through gritted teeth and my wand flew to me. Then, I finally looked at him.
"Don't worry. I won't tell on you" I reassured.
"Fuck" Malfoy cursed. I laughed.
"No Fuck you!" And turned on my heel fled the goddamn place.
2nd September 1998, Wednesday, 3:32 A.M, Gryffindor Tower, The New Castle, Hogwarts.
I knew I wasn't sleeping tonight. Like I haven't been for many months. It wasn't because I didn't want to. It was because I couldn't. The voices would haunt me again. I had no idea what they said. What they are. I searched every book for an explanation. I found none. I pulled out my hair in frustration. They never stopped. Only got louder. Taking my energy away from me. Once in a while, I managed to get rid of them. But there were horrors still left for me to bear.
I stood in front of the mirror in my bed room tracing the scar Bellatrix Lestrange gave me. It was my battle scar. Like Harry's scar on his forehead. I wore it like a medal. All a facade. Only I knew how bad it hurt me. To be branded as an unworthy individual. The magic in me was mine. I was its rightful owner and I was never giving it up. But no one gave a fuck. No matter how much I tried to belong in this world, everyone pushed me away. I was welcome in neither of the worlds. I was an outcast.
Every night, I stood like this and traced the contours of this particular scar, sharply contrasting against the white skin of my arm in gleaming red. I wasn't ashamed, not in the slightest to be a muggle born or as they eloquently phrase it, A mud blood. I was proud to be in this world and rise as a significant person from a commoner. I wasn't the bug under their foot or anything else they seemed to think about me. But it hurt. It still stings me. I will always be nothing in their eyes. And they will treat me like the scum of the earth.
I was afraid to go to sleep. Afraid to switch off the lights. The meagre 3 to 4 hours sleep I got, were always in my bed room with all lights switched on. Because darkness was a trigger. Darkness made me remember. It made me remember the times I stayed hidden with Harry and Ron, afraid for our lives every moment. It made me remember the battle. The ones who lost their lives to save ones like mine. I question whether it was worth it. Was it worth living when many others lost theirs? I wasn't weakened enough to kill myself. At least not now. I hope not ever.
I was on the receiving end of his brunt for a good part of 7 years. I hear his taunts echo in my head. I try to ignore. But the word mud blood never fails to hurt me. I was no mud blood. My blood was as clean as his. He knew it. I bled on the floor of his own manor for fuck's sake. Yet, he didn't change. He was still like that. Yes. It was his name I moaned every night. His betrayal I reminisced. Not because I was having any sordid affair with him. It was because he stood there, just like that, watching me get tortured by his aunt, doing nothing, saying nothing. Wishing that I die. Mumbling .. asking me to die. Turning away in disgust.
Every time I sleep I dream of his crazed aunt crucioing me again and again and again. I hear her laughs. My own screams. I see him standing just there. I begged him. I fucking begged him to stop her. He didn't even bat an eye. I beg him every night. But the torture never stops. I scream every night until my throat is raw, and claw at my skin desperate to get rid of the scar. Nothing works. The pain comes back again. I started cutting myself up to stop the pain. It did work. It was momentary.
I started sitting up late nights, scared someone would barge into my home and kill me. I sat in my father's rocking chair putting up all the wards and protections I could muster with Crooks in my lap and a knife in my hand. I almost killed myself to stop the suffering. I couldn't tell anyone or consult a doctor. They will say it as PTSD and prescribe pain meds. It wasn't just that. I wasn't just losing my sanity. Nobody understands. I talk to myself, pleading the voices and memories to leave me alone. Stop blaming me for everything. I was fighting every day to survive without falling apart in front of everyone. Plaster a smile and move on. No one hears my horrors. No one can know.
I couldn't cry. The tears were coming. I can't afford to cry. I couldn't do anything to take out my frustrations. Crowds stopped the voices. But they triggered memories even worse. I couldn't bear to look at the faces of the people who lost their loved ones. I roam the streets of London at night trying to find a way to get rid of the voices that started clawing my head with their talons. I was battling with demons that no one could see. They were inside me. Inside my head. Killing me. Taunting me. Haunting me. I was losing the battle. For the first time, I was failing.
I started having black outs and fainting often. Losing appetite. Losing interest. Anxious and paranoid about everything. I couldn't even do simplest tasks. My magic started getting weaker. As the time progressed, I couldn't perform magic without being exhausted. Without the feeling of someone pounding on my head. Things started going out of focus. I would stop listening to someone in the middle of the conversation. If anyone learns this, they. would send me St. Mungo's to lock me up. I'm not crazy. I knew it. I was getting scared though. Because I was dreaming of things that never happened. I was making up scenarios in my head and thinking they were true. They seemed true. I couldn't distinguish reality from illusion. Everything seems same.
Scars that battle left weren't just physical. It scared my soul. I was now beyond repair. I couldn't let another of his family break me. Because I was already broken and the pieces weren't mending. I wasn't going to let him crush me … even it kills me.
End Notes:
Well, I came across a review stating this is OOC and AU. I reckon that's what it is. My characters are OOC. I don't deny. And I want them to be the way they are. My characters are shaped the way they are now due to past events I don't want to reveal now. As for the suggestion to read books, I have read them several times. Thank you very much. My mother has even hidden them to make me stop reading and concentrate on building my social life. Sorry if I disappointed anyone. (This one if for a review FF.NET. I wanted to make it clear here as well)
I lost my Cousin and his family to a tragic accident. He lost his son and wife to the tragedy. He suffered from PTSD for many months before succumbing to the suffering and leaving us all. His absence is deeply regretted. He miraculously survived cancer, battled with it and came out victorious. But, finally, it was the loss of love that destroyed him worse than cancer did. There are many of us who silently suffer. Lose our hope to live and yet strive to survive. Hermione in this story is one of them. She is trying her best not to succumb. She is the strongest girl I have ever known.
"Don't Pity the dead, Harry, Pity the living, And above all, those who live without love. - Albus Dumbledore.
Love,
Alex.
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Illusions Of Reality