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WHAT THE HEART WANTS	By : Mistress Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Snape/Hermione Views: 15904 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any characters associated with the story, nor do I receive any compensation in any form for writing here.

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The right thing to do is usally the hardest one... Pease review
The time came. The time when he first realized that she was turning into a beautiful young woman. The revelation hit him when he saw her at the Yule Ball. It was a beautiful celebration. He was not to be summoned that night and had a chance to relax a little and have some rest. He was listening to Professor Flitwick when he felt someone tagging his sleeve. It was Albus. – “Look, my boy” he said. “She looks rather astonishing tonight. Wouldn’t you say?”
He turned his head to see her walking in. She was a picture of beauty. He knew he should have answered Albus, but he couldn’t find the words. Suddenly, the collar of his shirt was getting too tight and he felt like he couldn’t breathe. It was like the damn thing was choking him. He couldn’t take his eyes off of her, and to make the situation worse, he saw her looking directly at him. She smiled and made her way to the dance floor, to be taken by Victor Krum for the first opening waltz.
“Are you well, my boy?” Albus asked him. He looked at the Headmaster to see the same twinkle in his eyes. – “I’m fine.” He cleared his throat. “I just need a drink.” He went to the bar to get a shot of Firewhisky. As he was ready to leave, he heard a familiar voice – “Good evening Professor. May I have this dance?” A little nagging voice in his head was screaming “No. Don’t even think about it.” But before he realized it, he was already saying – “Of course. That would be my pleasure Miss Granger.”
With the first sounds of music, he took her hand and brought her to the dance floor. It looked like he lost track of time. Like everyone suddenly disappeared and it was only them in the room. He didn’t know if it was the smell of her hair or the closeness of her petite body against his that was doing it to him, but whatever it was, it was beautiful. She was graceful and relaxed in his hands. At one point, she put her head on his chest and let him lead.
He was still holding her close after the music ended. Realization hit him when he finally looked around to see everyone starring at them. He released from his embrace and looked at her face. Her eyes were still closed. – “Miss Granger. Hermione.” She opened her eyes, looked around and blushed. – “Thank you for this dance.” – “May I possibly have another one, Professor?” she said and blushed even more. - “I don’t think that it would be too wise for you to spend all your time dancing with one of your professors. I suggest you find yourself a partner of your own age.”
That came out a little harsh, but what could he do? To accept her offer would be considered highly inappropriate. He knew that she was upset. The look on her face almost made him reconsider and before he could make another mistake, he turned on his heel and went to his private quarters for the rest of the night. By the time he reached them, he felt like his whole body was on fire. A cold shower and another glass of Firewhisky cooled him down a bit.
As he was drinking, the questions started to pop up in his mind and the same annoying little voice in his head started talking again. “How could it happen?” “You know how, you old pervert. She is all grown up now.” "That can’t be happening. She is just a child." “She hardly felt like a child when she danced with you and then even asked for another dance. You could’ve refused, but you didn’t. Didn’t you?” "I couldn’t just say no. Why would I? It’s not like there is anything wrong with dancing." “But now you want more, don’t you?” "Oh shut up, it’s not like that at all." “Ah ha, right. That is precisely the reason why you’re sitting here drinking yourself stupid and talking to yourself.” "You’re wrong. I’m wrong. It would never work. She is way too young for me. She would never look at me any other way then her father or teacher." “Yeah, that’s why she was blushing when she asked you for another dance.” As he was about to answer the voice in his head, he heard someone knocking on the door.
“Come in,” he said clearing his throat. It was Hermione. She wasn’t wearing her dress anymore. She changed into her night robe. She looked up at him. – “Can I talk to you?” – “Sure. Sit down. Tea?” – “Yes, please.” He gathered all his strength and exhaled. – “What is it honey? Why are you not at the party with your friends?” – “Because I want to be here with you. Because I love you” she said quickly. He felt a knot in his stomach. He gave her what should have been a smile. – “You know I love you too kiddo, but that shouldn’t keep you from having some fun with your friends.” He petted her shoulder. She jumped from his touch as if bitten by a wasp. – “Don’t treat me like a kid. I am not a child anymore.” – “I know you’re not. You’re turning into a beautiful young woman. ”He downed his drink and poured some more. It seemed like it was helping him keep his armor on, without her seeing what was going on inside.
He looked at her. She sat back on the couch tucking her feet under herself, which made her night gown go almost up to her thighs. He exhaled forcefully and came to sit by her. Whatever it was, he needed to put an end to it. – “Do you want to explain what has gotten into you today?” She looked at him and blushed a little. – “I just wanted for you to notice me, that’s all.” – “And I did notice. I told you that you looked beautiful tonight, but now you’re acting like a little kid. What is bothering you?” – “Do you really want to know?” – “Yes.” – “Can’t you guess by yourself?” she said and blushed again. He knew the answer, he just didn’t want to admit it.
“Look, I don’t know what you are talking about and quite frankly, you don’t want to explain. I am not in the mood to play mind games, so the best thing for you would be” …. He didn’t have a chance to finish when she moved quickly to his lap, pushed his back deeper into the couch, leaned down and kissed him. It was so sudden that he didn’t have the time to react and the next thing he knew, she was already kissing his neck. It felt so innocent but so passionate that he closed his eyes for a second, but when he opened them, realization finally hit him. He pushed her away as gently as he could and got up.
He looked at her not able to find the right words. She was looking at him with her big hazel eyes waiting to hear some words of comfort but he just couldn’t bring himself to start talking. Finally, after a few minutes, he cleared his throat and said – “I think, you should go to your room. I have to wake up early tomorrow and you have to get some rest too.” – “But, I want to be with you. Can I stay here for the night?” – “No” he said harshly, - “You need to go and you need to go now. I won’t repeat it again,” he barked. He could see tears in her eyes and the knot in his stomach went up to his chest. He felt like he was suffocating. – “I thought you said that you love me. Why can’t you let me stay?” she cried. He gathered all his strength and gave her one of those looks that scared the crap out of his students. – “I think you’re over stepping your boundaries, Miss Granger. Have you no decency at all? I don’t know what you got into your head, but this is getting out of hand. You need to get to your room this instant, or I will have you expelled. Do I make myself clear?”
He made a few steps towards her. She couldn’t hold her tears anymore, she turned and ran out of his room as quickly as she could. At that moment, he felt almost as if he just slapped her across the face. How could he say something like that to her? How could he not? She was probably hating him right now, but wasn’t her hate better than the alternative? Did he just make the biggest damn mistake of his life and chased the only person who ever cared for him away? He sat down and poured yet another glass of Firewhisky. Think Severus! He exhaled forcefully and pinched the bridge of his nose. After a few minutes, he knew what the right thing to do was. Oh gods! It would also be the hardest imaginable thing that he would have to do in all his life.
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WHAT THE HEART WANTS