Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

In Tatters and Pieces	By : Sasunarufan13 Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 6538 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter nor make profit of it. J.K. Rowling owns it.

Chapter List
- 2
- 3
- 4
Author's note: And here I am with the third chapter, where you'll discover what exactly has been going on. Coincidentally it's also the longest chapter of all four LOL
Thanks to the following reviewers: djaddict; Jan
Warnings: angst, drama, mature content, short description of wounds acquired in battle
I hope you'll like it!
Chapter 3
Stumbling over to the couch, Draco managed to sink down on it before his legs gave out, having obtained the consistency of jelly. Shivers broke out over his entire body and his head pounded as he stared at the tapestry, of which the last names on it appeared to taunt him.
It wasn't possible. It just couldn't be. Why would the tapestry think he and Harry were together? A matter which was even more pressing: why was there a space made for a child? The tapestry had to be faulty, had to be lying, but the rest of the information on it was all correct.
What was going on here?
Why was the tapestry showing him together with Harry and expecting a child? It didn't make any sense. Unless …
"Revalo Futurum!" he spat, snapping his wand at the tapestry.
A bright purple beam zigzagged towards it and enveloped the material in a soft glow, almost like a shield. The shield-like glow pulsed and buzzed and then dissipated completely.
His wand clattered on the floor as he clapped his hands in front of his face, feeling like he would throw up any second now as nausea churned his stomach upside down.
For one fleeting moment he had entertained the thought that the tapestry contained a Future Seeking Charm, showing pairings and children who still needed to come into existence. That would explain why his name was linked to that of Harry's and why there was a line going down for their future child. However, there was no such charm placed on the tapestry. According to his family tree he was currently together with Harry and expecting a child to arrive.
None of that was true. Harry was indeed expecting a child, but they were certainly not together and the unborn baby boy couldn't be his. For that they would have actually had to sleep together at least once and Draco would definitely remember having sex with Harry. That was not something he would ever forget.
In a fit of desperation, he clapped his hands twice sharply and instantly a house elf with large, mud brown eyes and floppy, hairy ears popped up in front of him.
"Was can Nin do for Master Draco Malfoy, sir?" the house elf squeaked, its long, spidery fingers nearly trailing over the carpet.
"Can you tell me whether the charm on the tapestry is still working perfectly? It hasn't started malfunctioning after such a long time?" Draco inquired, keeping a tight lid on the confusion whirling inside of him. He wasn't in the mood to deal with a distressed house elf who thought it was his fault his master was displeased.
Nin cocked his head, but turned towards the tapestry, studying it intently and snapping his fingers several times. Whatever the snaps were meant for, it was apparently what Nin was looking for, because he nodded and turned back to Draco.
"The charm is still workings well, sir," Nin said, nodding again. "Mistress Selena Malfoy being very good with charms, Master Draco Malfoy."
"Thank you, that's all," Draco dismissed Nin and the house elf bowed once before disappearing quietly in the way only house elves were able to do.
A cold feeling swept over him and he leant forwards, the nausea creeping up again. So the tapestry wasn't faulty.
But nothing made any sense!
Surely if he was expecting a child with Harry, he would remember bedding the man! And if for some odd reason he had completely forgotten about it, Harry would certainly have mentioned something about it, right? Especially after discovering he was pregnant. At the very least he would be pissed off at Draco for forgetting they had slept together.
Unless Harry had also forgotten about it? But no, that was impossible. The both of them forgetting having sex with each other would be too much of a coincidence and didn't make any sense.
So what the fuck had happened to have the tapestry looking like …
Forgetting.
Draco stiffened, staring blankly at the carpeted floor. A high pitched noise filled his ears and his breath quickened as his mind grasped onto the concept of 'forgetting'. It didn't make any sense for him to not have any memories of sleeping together with Harry – unless someone had taken his memories away from him.
What if he and Harry had been in a relationship before and someone had discovered it and figured it was their right to take his memories of it away? What if they had done the same thing to Harry? It would explain why the other man hadn't mentioned anything about ever having sex with each other.
Why would anyone want to take their memories away, though? Draco snorted almost immediately after the thought had crossed his mind. Stupid question, really. They probably hadn't wanted Death Eater filth to 'taint' their precious hero. Never mind that Draco had acted as a spy for nearly the entire war. People had always acted rather irrational when it concerned Harry Potter.
So a Memory Charm. That was the only reasonable explanation as to why he couldn't remember a damn thing about being together with Harry and expecting a child with him. He didn't know who had had the nerve to block his memories or why, but he suspected he would find out once he destroyed the barrier keeping the memories locked away.
If he got his hands on the one who had fucked with his mind …
Grimly Draco rose from the couch, ignoring the slight dust cloud that got stirred up with his movement, and strode determined to the door, teeth clenched. He still felt inexplicably cold, but he was more focused now, having a plan that would help him figure out just what the fuck was going on here.
He would use Legilimency on himself and hopefully through that manner locate the barrier of the Memory Charm and smash it like Severus had taught him. He could have done this in Selene's study, but he felt more comfortable in his own bedroom and made his way there, marching past house elves and portraits of ancestors who whispered and regarded him contemplatively.
The door of his bedroom closed with a resounding 'click' and he crossed the large room, straight to his bed, where he sat down on the right side and breathed out slowly. Being agitated wouldn't be conductive at all; he needed to clear his mind completely, empty it of all useless thoughts, forcing the emotions swirling through him to settle down and disappear into the background for now.
Later he would seek out an empty room and rage there, letting out all his frustrations at the one who had stolen his memories from him, but for now he needed to be in a calm state.
As soon as his mind was empty, cleared out of all thoughts, he exhaled slowly and placed the tip of his wand against his left temple, murmuring, "Legilimens Ipsus."
This spell wasn't a very known one; only people studying Legilimency thoroughly learnt about its existence and even then it wasn't widely used. One generally didn't use Legilimency on themselves as they knew their own mind and this particular art was mostly used to delve into other people's minds. Severus had thought it was important for Draco to know how to use it, though, to ensure that none of his enemies would manage to attack his mind and hide away memories.
At the time he had scoffed at that warning, saying it was ridiculous and he would know if someone tried to steal his memories. Clearly the Potions Master had been right after all.
Draco dived deep into his mind, bypassing the thoughts and memories on the surface and instead breaking through the surface, finding himself floating in gentle, dark blue light. It pulsed and thrummed and memories drifted around him.
He passed a memory of when he was five years old and crying because one of the peacocks had bit his hand. A memory of him arguing with Pansy during third year slipped past him as he swam deeper and deeper; the sensation of being underwater difficult to ignore.
Somewhere to his right there was a cluster of memories, showing him during different Christmas' with his parents. He came to an abrupt halt in front of a memory which pulsed darkly like a vein rotten with Dark Arts; his godfather had made certain he knew what to expect if he delved deeper into the Dark Arts and hadn't minced his words nor his examples at all.
The memory, which had black and red colours running around it like a picture frame, was blank at first until he focused his attention on it. Then it came to life and the Dark Lord's voice rang out eerily from it, detailing his plans for the attack on the London Underground which the Order had only barely managed to prevent.
Shaking his head sharply, he thrust his hand through it, dispelling the memory instantly and watching it vanish like smoke. There was no point in watching that memory unfold. He knew how it ended and there was a reason why he preferred not to think about it anymore.
Deeper and deeper he went; silence ringing loudly in his ears, only interrupted by the occasional speech emitting from the memories he passed. He was there as an eight year old, holding his father's wand as he guiltily looked around, knowing he wasn't supposed to hold his father's wand. Eleven years old and he had just been Sorted into Slytherin. Thirteen years old and being attacked by that damn hippogriff. Twelve years old and slamming his fist into the wall after having lost the Quidditch game to Gryffindor. Five years old and flying for the first time, wonder filling him like the sweetest dessert.
Sixteen years old and standing right across Harry, shivering and pale, fear and despair strangling him, as he requested the dark haired man to help him, offer him a way out when he realised that there was no glory to be found under the Dark Lord's reign, only death and despair.
His attention was grabbed by something dimly glowing in the distance and he swam in that direction, ignoring all the other memories drifting past him, under him, above him. The closer he got, the more certain he became that he was reaching the part in his mind that had been blocked off from him; the part that kept some of his memories – perhaps even the most important ones in his life – locked up.
"Found you," he breathed out and hovered in front of the dimly glowing mass. It resembled some kind of ball, but it had tentacle like tendrils splitting from the bottom, hooking into what appeared to be nothingness, but which Draco knew was actually his mind. The ball had a dark purple colour and looked drenched with slime.
The perfect image of a Memory Charm.
Now the most difficult part was about to start: dismantling the Memory Charm without damaging his own mind in the process.
Clenching his jaw, he gathered some of his magic, envisioning it as a pure white mass, pulsing within him. His fingertips tingled when he pushed his magic through his arms, imagined it coursing through his veins like water. For a few seconds he paused, his magic thrumming and humming quietly as it waited to do his bidding.
Taking a deep breath, Draco focused all his attention on the Memory Charm and his hands shot out; his magic streaming out in various thin beams, hitting the glowing mass at different points.
The mass … grumbled, for a lack of better word, and the ball shifted; the tendrils stretching out hesitatingly as if they weren't certain what to think of the injection of foreign magic in the ball. The ball gurgled discontented and Draco watched passively how the mass started wriggling violently; the tendrils lengthening and thickening as if they were slurping something.
The mass grew and the tendrils suddenly disappeared as if the growth had been accommodated by their disappearance. The charm was resisting, gearing itself up to fight, but Draco's will to uncover his lost memories was stronger, more forceful and the mass wiggled and shifted and trembled until it rapidly started changing colours as small indentations were seemingly beaten into it by an invisible fist.
First it flashed red, then blue, then green, back to red before it coloured a dark yellow, bleeding into pale orange. The colours started changing so fast that Draco couldn't keep track of it and while the impulse to back away was strong, he remained hovering where he was. If he backed away now, he would lose the fight and would have to start all over again. Sweat was already beading on his forehead and he felt the strain of battling the strong Memory Charm both in his mind and his body. He didn't know when he would be ready to tackle the charm again if he didn't succeed now.
So instead of backing off, he put more strength into the magic pouring out of him, more power, forcing the ball to deal with the ever growing pressure of his will and magic.
The ball shivered and then started shrinking rapidly; a bright green light filling it up from the centre and seemingly eating the ball. Draco had to shield his eyes to protect them from the fierce green light, not wanting to discover what would happen if he stared at it directly, and then all of a sudden there was the sound of air escaping, a high whistling sound and then –
He staggered back when memories crashed into him, flooding his mind; the force behind them strong enough to dispel the stronger version of the Legilimens Spell. He was thrown out of the deepest space in his mind and he gasped as the memories whirled around in his mind like a hurricane, filling every corner of his mind.
"Would you just shut up for once?" Draco snarled, slamming his fist down on the table, which trembled precariously.
"Oh, what's wrong, Draco?" Potter said mockingly; his green eyes ablaze with anger, as he strode over towards the blond wizard. "Can't handle the truth, hm? Is that it? You don't want to hear it, so I should just sh-"
Draco snatched the infuriating man by his collar and pulled him forwards, slamming their mouths together in a violent, all-consuming kiss. For a few seconds Potter struggled, but then fingers dug into Draco's back and the green eyed man returned the kiss equally as fierce; their teeth clacking together, their lips cut open and the taste of copper coating their mouths.
They tore away with a gasp, staring wide eyed at each other as their chests heaved and their hearts hammered in their chests.
"I didn't …" Draco started roughly, not having the slightest clue as to what had come over him to make him decide kissing the other man had been a good idea.
Potter uttered a dismissive sound and roughly tugged him closer, their hips slamming together. "Who cares?" he muttered and then they were kissing again; the argument forgotten.
oOo
Red and green and yellow streaked past him, only narrowly avoiding hitting him as he sprinted into the alley; panic threatening to overtake him. Somewhere behind him he heard Shacklebolt bellowing out a curse and then there was a shriek of one of the lower ranked Death Eaters. His feet pounded through the narrow alleyway, past discarded bins and blown apart boxes.
There was a body hidden in the shadow near the corner and for one moment his heart stopped, his sight wavering, until he closed in on it and realised that the dead man was Michael Dolohov, a cousin of Antonin. He had joined the Dark Lord a year ago, certain he would rise in ranks quickly and bragging to everyone that he was sure to bring glory to the Dark Lord.
Now he laid here in a dank alleyway, his throat bearing such a deep cut it was a wonder his head was still attached to his body.
Swallowing – he didn't think he would ever get used to gruesome scenes like this one – he took a step closer to the corner; his wand clenched tightly in his hand. If Michael was here, did this mean the other one had …
"Dr-Draco?"
Draco whirled around, holding his wand in front of him, but a sigh of relief left him as he saw Harry standing a few feet away from him, wide eyed and as pale as a ghost. There were streaks of dried blood on his forehead and cheeks, nearly hiding his scar, and he was shivering; his robes torn in several places and sticking to some cuts on his arms and left side.
Immediately Draco strode towards him, demanding sharply, "Are you okay? How bad are your injuries?" His eyes roved across the cuts he could see; the wounds crusted with blood but thankfully not bleeding anymore.
"I-I'm f-fine," Harry stammered; his fingers around his wand resembling claws. "Got a – a shield up most of the time."
"You fought Michael?" Draco halted in front of him, relaxing for the first time since the battle in Lightport Alley had started three hours ago.
The dark haired man nodded, licking his lips. His eyes were large, too large for his otherwise narrow, pale face, and blank, wiped clean of every emotion. "I didn't – he was going to use the Killing Curse on me and I panicked and I – I just used the first spell I came up with," he whispered and his shivering grew worse, shock settling in.
And Draco realised this was the first time Harry had actually killed someone. He slipped his arms around Harry, ignoring how sticky and sweaty he was, and pulled him close, embracing him tightly. "You had no other choice, Harry," he said determined; lips barely brushing against Harry's temple. "It was either you or him."
"I didn't – I didn't think," but whatever Harry thought, he couldn't finish, because a harsh sob tore through his body and he clung to the blond tightly, burrowing his face in his neck.
"You did well. You made the right choice," Draco murmured and then they were kissing, desperate noises escaping them, as they stood amidst the ruins of a battle.
Clinging to each other like that was the only thing keeping them whole.
oOo
A soft moan in his ear; reddened and bruised lips brushing and sliding against his own, as their bodies moved in tandem, hands gripping each other tightly.
Harry was on his back, long legs wrapped around Draco's waist, soft gasps escaping his swollen lips as Draco drove deeply into his body, filling him to the brim each time he entered him. Emerald green eyes stayed locked onto silver green ones, even when Draco shifted, brushing against Harry's sweet spot every time he thrusted inside.
Their lips met each other again and again; soft moans and strangled groans escaping them, filling the dark night.
They had done this several times before: rushed during the mornings; erratic and wild when they needed to unwind after a close call, wanting to be reassured that the other one was still with them; long and slow like the first time they had done it until they felt like bursting with the sensations every thrust, every kiss and every caress evoked.
It was only during these times, these stolen moments in the darkest hours of the nights, that they could be themselves, that they could relax and leave the war behind for just a while.
That they were just Draco and Harry, instead of Spy and Hero.
Harry's breath hitched, his body stilled, and then his breath left him in a rush; his inner muscles squeezing tightly together as he let himself go, coating both his and Draco's stomach with his essence.
His pleasure rushed over him, crashed into him, and Draco groaned, biting down in Harry's shoulder as he spilt inside his lover, filling his channel with his seed, as he trembled and shook; his hips weakly stuttering through the last tremors of his climax.
They didn't speak when they separated. Silently they cleaned themselves and the sheets and crawled back in the bed; their arms slipping around each other, their legs entangled.
They shared one last kiss before sleep took over.
oOo
Fingers trailed across a naked back, following the spine, before resting right above the gentle swell of his arse and Draco sighed, retracting his fingers. The cool April air drifted through a crack in the window into the room.
"It's going to be okay," he said quietly, wearily. He had hoped for one last peaceful night between them before shit would hit the fan and he would have to leave for three weeks, taking up his role as spy again – hopefully for the last time. He had finally entered the circle closest to the Dark Lord and for three weeks he would take note of his plans and guide things in such a way that the final battle would happen soon.
If everything went according to plan, then the war would be over in less than two months. Only a few more weeks and then they would be free. It was a thought Draco clung to whenever despair threatened to overwhelm him. They were ready, though, more than ever. The blond wizard was fairly confident that soon the war would end and they could take up their lives again.
Harry thought differently.
After a rather tense dinner during which they had half-heartedly celebrated the Weasley twins' birthday, they had disappeared into their room, spelling it shut with strong Locking Charms and Repelling Charms. They had made love, trying to reassure each other that they would be fine, that they would still have each other in the end – at least that was what Draco had hoped to do, but while he had distracted Harry for a while, their lovemaking clearly didn't have a long lasting effect.
Harry snorted harshly, sitting up in bed, as he ran his hands through his hair agitatedly. "You don't know that," he said lowly; his eyes dark.
"I know that I'm not going to allow myself to expect defeat," Draco retorted harshly, turning his head to glare at the dark haired man. "We've come this far, Harry, we're not going to give up now."
"Spying in the lower circles isn't the same as spying on Voldemort directly, Draco!" Harry snapped, returning the glare. "You'll be in danger and excuse me if I don't want - "
"We're all in danger now!" Draco snarled and shot up. "And that's not going to change as long as the war continues! We need to end it and I'm in the perfect position to help things along. There's no other choice, Harry!"
Their harsh breathing was the only sound disrupting the heavy silence in the room as they glared at each other.
Green eyes were the first to look away as Harry turned his head to the other side; his arms clenched around his raised knees. "Fine," he said thickly; his whole form radiating tension.
Draco deflated, anger leaving him as fast as it had come up, and he sighed, running a hand through his hair before his hand dropped onto the messy sheets. This wasn't how he had pictured their night to go.
"Look, I swear I'm going to be okay," he murmured, hesitatingly placing his hand on Harry's thigh. When the younger man didn't shrug him off, he gained some more confidence. "We're both going to be okay, I promise. You'll see, by the end of next month everything will be over."
"My, you're confident," Harry muttered wearily. "And optimistic too."
"I know it's usually the job of a Gryffindor to be optimistic, but I figured we could change roles once in a while," Draco replied dryly.
A twitch that might have been the start of an amused smile was all he got as a reward for his comment. He would take what he would get tonight.
"We'll be okay, you'll see," he said, coaxing the dark haired man to lie back down next to him.
Harry sighed; a few strands of black hair fluttering with the exhale. "I'll make you regret it if you lie about that," he warned the blond.
"I'm sure you will," Draco smirked and pressed a soft kiss on slack lips. "I love you," he whispered, the words slipping out of him before he could hold them back. He needed to say those words, though. Should his mission go wrong, at least he wouldn't have any regrets about this.
Harry stiffened for a short, tense moment and then relaxed; his hand gripping Draco's and squeezing it softly. "I love you too," he whispered back; the words barely audible.
Sleep started to tug at his consciousness and his eyes slipped close; exhaustion finally taking over. He didn't want to go to sleep, not when he didn't know how long it would be until he could see Harry again, but his consciousness was fading fast and blackness started to creep up on him.
Vaguely he felt Harry shift around and he uttered a faint noise of protest; his grip around Harry's waist tightening.
"I'm sorry, Draco," Harry whispered and the utter misery in his voice had grey eyes shooting open again; worry filling him.
"Harry, what's wr-"
"Obliviate!"
Instantly a white mist filled his mind and all sounds became muted as he stared blankly at the man next to him. He felt like he was adrift, floating; his body both heavy and light.
"When you'll wake up, you'll forget about our relationship," the green eyed man stated; his voice wavering slightly and his eyes oddly damp. "You'll forget that we were ever more than allies during the war. Even that part you'll wrap tightly behind Occlumency shields so that none of the Death Eaters or Voldemort will discover that. You'll perform your tasks as a spy and continue the mission until the end. You'll forget every kiss we shared and every intimate moment. We were just allies during the war. Nothing more."
Then darkness.
Grey eyes opened slowly as the whirlwind of memories died down and settled gently into his mind, slotting back into place next to the other memories.
Ice cold rage filled him as he acknowledged just what exactly had been taken away from him. Stolen by the one person he had trusted the most in the entire world.
Oh Harry, you made a big mistake.
Carved and hollowed out pumpkins decorated each house as he slowly made his way further down the street. Some of the pumpkins had a lit candle inside of them, casting long, eerie looking shadows onto the paths and sidewalk. Above him, the moon was nearly full; its silver rays illuminating the street.
Draco paused in front of the last house on the street. This one didn't have a pumpkin outside, but strong wards shimmered brightly when one knew where to look at. They wouldn't allow entrance to any enemies and could sustain heavy attacks; perhaps only the wards surrounding Hogwarts were stronger than these ones.
They didn't matter to him. He had been keyed into the wards a while ago and they parted for him easily once they recognised his magical signature; caressing him like warm water as he walked through them.
He walked to the front door, his footsteps loud in the otherwise silent evening, and knocked on the hard wood. The door cracked open for a bit and Harry's voice floated over towards him.
"Come on in, door's open."
Raising an eyebrow Draco did as he was told, shutting the door firmly behind him. He would have wondered whether it was a smart idea for Harry to open the door with magic without knowing who was behind it, but he knew that the wards would have alerted the pregnant man as to whom was visiting him.
Yellowish light was shining underneath the door of the living room and he slowly pushed it open, stepping inside. Harry was placing some pillows back on the couch and gathering some toys. He craned his neck around and offered a distracted smile.
"Sorry about that. I only just managed to get Teddy to fall asleep and I'm still cleaning up a bit," he explained sheepishly before directing the toys to a basket next to the bookcase.
As he turned around to face Draco, the blond got a good view of his rounded belly; the sweater stretched firmly around it, showing off the roundness. The knowledge of whose child Harry was carrying burned in the back of his mind and his fingers twitched.
"How's our baby doing?" Draco asked mildly, though anger was simmering closely underneath the surface as the proof of their love for each other was staring him right in the face.
Hands dipped down almost automatically by now to cup his stomach as Harry smiled and said, "He's doing …" He froze, trailing off as his mind caught up to what exactly Draco had asked him. Green eyes widened; a touch of fear lurking deeply inside them and then he shook his head, chuckling weakly. "What are you talking about, Draco? He's not - "
"Don't make this any worse than it already is," Draco interrupted him harshly and Harry paled, shutting his mouth quickly. "Do me a favour and stop fucking lying to me!"
"How did – how did you figure it out?" Harry asked, voice small as he remained frozen next to the couch.
"Funny thing, that," Draco said sarcastically, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "I was just looking through the study of one of my great-aunts when I found the family tapestry she had been working on when she was alive. She was quite obsessed with tracing the Malfoy roots, you know."
The dark haired man said nothing, staring at the blond with large, guilty eyes.
Good, he should feel fucking guilty.
"I was curious, you see. Figured it would be interesting to see how far she had traced back. Quite far as it appears and the charm she placed on it ensures that the tapestry keeps growing with each generation that is added," Draco continued, his voice tight with restrained anger. "Lo and behold, what do I see when I reach the most recent generation? Not my name alone, oh no. No, the tapestry showed my name tied to yours and another line going directly down, announcing a new generation."
"Draco, I …"
"First I thought the tapestry was wrong, because clearly we're not together, right?" Draco laughed harshly and the younger man flinched. "And certainly that child can't be mine, because for that we would have to have sex and I think I would remember fucking you. But the tapestry wasn't faulty, so I came to the conclusion that someone must have messed with my mind, used a Memory Charm. They must have used one on you too, because surely you would have said something to me if you remembered everything, right?"
Something in the kitchen shattered.
"So I decided to use Legilimency on my mind and break the Memory Charm, considering I really wanted to know who had had the balls to Obliviate me," the blond continued and some bookshelves rattled dangerously.
If possible Harry became even paler; his fingers clenched so tightly into his sweater, they had turned white.
"And when I finally manage to break through that goddamn Memory Charm, I find out that the one who stole my memories was the one I trusted the most! The only one I ever confessed my love to!" Draco could barely keep himself from shouting as he took a step forwards; the thought of Teddy sleeping upstairs the only thing keeping him in check.
"Draco, please, I …"
"Was it fun?" Draco hissed, taking another step closer. "Hm? What, you had your fun fucking a Death Eater and decided that enough was enough? Didn't think I was good enough for more? Or was it getting too serious for your liking? Why the fuck did you - "
"Because I love you!" Harry finally burst out; his eyes wild and his magic thrumming visibly around him. "Okay?! Because I fucking love you and I wanted to protect you!"
"Protect me?" Draco snorted harshly. "Protect me from what?!"
"I didn't want Voldemort to find out how close we had become, okay?" Harry said, lower lip trembling. "I was scared that he would find out without you realising it and I thought you'd be safer at least a little bit more if you couldn't remember – if you couldn't remember us. I'm sorry, okay? I can't apologise enough for this, but at the time it was the only thing I could think of that could keep you safe. You yourself had said that some of the Death Eaters were suspicious of you!"
Draco opened his mouth to retort, to remind the other man that he didn't need his fucking protection, but Harry's self-deprecating, bitter laugh made him pause.
"I know I didn't have any right to do that to you and there's not a day that goes by that I don't wish I hadn't done it. When the Healer told me I was pregnant, my first reaction was that I had to tell you, but of course I couldn't because you didn't remember anything! I know you're furious at me and you have every right to be. I fucked up, I admit it." Harry swallowed. "But I just wanted to keep you safe. I didn't want to lose more people just because they were close to me. Nobody has ever been so close to me as you were and I was scared Voldemort would take advantage of that. I didn't want to Obliviate you, but if losing memories of us would keep you safe …" he trailed off and looked away, hugging himself as much as he could with his stomach in the way.
"You had no right to do something like that to me," Draco said through gritted teeth, clenching his fists. "But fine, let's pretend I accept your stupid fucking reasoning, care to tell me why the fuck you didn't lift the Memory Charm after the war? Why you didn't remove it when you discovered you were pregnant? Were you ever planning on telling me that that child is mine or were you planning on hiding it from me?"
Biting his lower lip, Harry sank down on the couch; his arms wrapped around his stomach. "I - the reason why I didn't remove the charm after the war was because I thought you'd still be safer without the memories."
Draco really, really wanted to punch him now. The window trembled violently underneath the strain of his agitated magic, but didn't shatter – yet.
"You fucking – what kind of bloody excuse do you have now for keeping me safe after the war?" he sneered, throwing his arms out. "Go on, tell me, this has to be a good one! What the hell were you protecting me from, huh? From being disappointed that I apparently fell in love with a fucking coward who thought I couldn't take care of myself? Newsflash, Potter: if that was your reason, you failed!"
The dark haired man flinched as if struck. "After – after the trials were done, Kingsley called me in his office. He knew we had been close and he warned me that – some Death Eaters escaped after the final battle and Kingsley had heard they were planning on regrouping and grabbing someone close to me in order to lure me out," he replied in a low voice; eyes downcast. "Hermione's and Ron's names were mentioned, but … they were thinking of grabbing either you or your mother because they heard I had testified in your favour and … Well, apparently they figured that meant you and I had to be very close."
He took a deep breath and continued hollowly, "Hermione and Ron didn't want to leave me alone. I got the strongest wards around this place and limited my trips to other places. I – with the Memory Charm you just considered me an alley during the war, someone you didn't need to keep meeting with after the war was fought. You'd stay away from me and that would keep you safe from the remaining Death Eaters. I'm not making up danger where there isn't, you know." This time he looked up and for the first time this evening, determination shone in his eyes. "Kingsley kept track of the group and his spy told him they lost interest in you and your mother after a few months when it became clear that you and I weren't meeting up anymore."
"If your genius plan was to keep me and mother safe from staying away from us, then why did you accept her invitation?" Draco demanded, narrowing his eyes.
Harry stilled and looked away with something akin to shame colouring his face. "It's – because you talked to me at the hospital and I – I missed you so much that I just … I figured one dinner couldn't hurt and I'd get to see you again for a little while before things would turn back to normal. You weren't meant to seek me out and help me in the house and I should have turned you away, but …"
"But what?"
The green eyed wizard rubbed his hands briskly over his face, before he settled them back on his stomach. He stared at the floor as he asked flatly, "Do you know how men are able to become pregnant?"
A frown creased Draco's forehead as he was taken aback by the unexpected question. "Through potions or spells usually," he replied blandly, not understanding where this was going all of a sudden. What did this have to do with why Harry had allowed him to visit him if it had been so dangerous for him?
"That's usually the case, yes, but I didn't take any potion or cast any spell," Harry replied and shook his head. "I asked the Healer about it and he told me that in severe circumstances, the combined magic of a couple could be enough to make a pregnancy happening without the use of a potion or a spell."
"Those instances are rare," Draco couldn't help but point out. "You'd need a lot of magic and the need to continue the line …" he trailed off, his mind flashing back to the last night they had spent together. A night where they both had feared they would never see each other again. His breath hitched.
Harry nodded and smiled wryly. "Well, we aren't exactly weak wizards and I suppose being afraid we would die is a good enough requisite to make this possible."
"While it's nice to finally know how you ended up pregnant, what does this have to do with you not turning me away?" the blond questioned tersely.
Abruptly Harry rose up and started pacing up and down in front of the fireplace. "That time you met me at the hospital – I had ended up there because my magic was too much out of balance. Turns out that having a large magic reserve doesn't mean squat when you're actually pregnant. You need both parents' magic to have a healthy pregnancy."
"That's why you didn't turn me away," Draco realised and bitterness filled him, leaving a sour taste behind. Even though he was furious at the other man for stealing his memories, a part of him – a part he had tried to quell but refused to back down – had been thrilled. Harry had been in love with him before – given how willingly he had met up with Draco despite having wanted to keep him supposedly safe, that must have meant he still loved Draco, right?
But in the end, he didn't even have this anymore. Harry meeting up with him had been nothing more than a way to reassure his pregnancy would progress well. Without the baby would Harry even have tried to see him at least one more time?
"That's partly the reason," Harry answered quietly and halted in front of the hearth. "I couldn't have my baby suffer because of a stupid mistake I made, but the real reason is that I missed you too much to turn you away. I told myself I was seeing you again for the baby, but really, I'm just selfish and I wanted you in whatever capacity I could get."
"What about the remaining Death Eaters?" Draco inquired wearily.
Harry shrugged half-heartedly. "Kingsley put a team together to hunt them down," he replied flatly. "I would have been on it, but I couldn't because of the baby. They've caught nearly all of them now. Supposedly some of them have fled to other countries."
Draco sighed, exhaustion filling him as his anger slowly drained away. This whole mess all came back to Harry wanting too much to be a hero and the blond didn't know how to go from here on. What did one do after discovering the person they loved was the same one stealing their memories to keep them safe?
What did one do if despite locked away memories they fell in love again?
"I didn't want to hurt you, Draco," Harry whispered. "I never meant to do that. But I wanted to keep you safe and that was the only way I could think of to do that. There were already rumours floating around that some of the Death Eaters thought you were too close to me. Obliviating you seemed like the only solution back then to keep you safe."
"I knew of those rumours, Harry," Draco said quietly, staring at the man in front of him with weariness. "I knew what I was getting myself into when I agreed to go deeper as a spy. You should never have done that. Severus taught me how to lock away any dangerous memories I had – there was no way anyone would have got any confirmation of us in my mind."
He shook his head, feeling empty. "The memories I have of us together – they're one of the best I have. They kept me going during those long days and nights that I was away from you. And you stole them because you didn't trust me to take care of myself. You stole the knowledge of my son from me."
"I'm sorry, Draco," Harry said thickly; his eyes wet with unshed tears. "I'm so sorry."
"I know you are," Draco murmured and took a step back, breathing out noisily. "You did all that because you feared my loving you would lead me into danger," he paused, before continuing softly, "but you never stopped to think what would happen if I fell in love with you again."
Stunned Harry stared at him, his mouth parting a bit.
The blond man took a deep breath and released it slowly, raising his eyes to the ceiling before flicking them back towards the younger man. "I don't know what to do now, Harry," he confessed, shaking his head. "I just don't know."
He turned around and silently left the house; the 'click' of the door falling shut behind him echoing loudly in his ears, as he stood there for a moment, bowing his head.
He had his answers now.
He didn't feel better.
Only worse.
AN2: *hums* Does this count as a cliffhanger? Yes? No? Well, at least you finally know what happened! Next chapter will be the last one.
Please leave your thoughts behind in a review; should you spot any mistakes, please point them out to me.
See you all in the last chapter!
Cuddles
Melissa
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In Tatters and Pieces