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Nothing But a Kiss COMPLETE	By : Snapes_Slave Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Snape/Hermione Views: 12647 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I sadly do not own any part of the Harry Potter franchise or any of its characters. I make no money off this... just reviews to feed my weary soul.

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Disclamer: Clearly I own nothing of this! You crazy people! It's JKR's pool, I'm just playing in it.

To say that Severus Snape was known as a forgiving man would be like comparing cacti in Arizona heat to cherries jubilee. One had nothing to do with the other and attempting to find any correlation between the two would seem to not be possible. To say that Severus Snape was a man known to freely express his emotions would likewise be illogical, ill-advised and quite frankly, laughable. And so, it came as a great shock that in reaction to Hermione's seeming disappearance 5 years prior, after the brightest point in Snape's recent, and not so recent, memory he apparently lost his mind.
Severus Snape did not handle rejection well. When he had woken alone in the hospital wing, with no one nearby, he had carefully attempted to sit up and glance around. He would have sworn he remembered hearing her voice. He remembered her reading potions journals, reciting poetry, telling him about her life. So why was it that she was nowhere in sight? After a time, a harried Madam Pomphrey had come by to administer the evenings potions and found a very conscious Potions Master looking decidedly unpleasant, even by his standards. By all accounts, he should be happy, ecstatic even, to be free of his master of nearly 20 years, so why was this man looking so fit to be tied? Poppy needn't have waited long for her answer.
"Where has she gone?"
"Who, Severus?"
"Miss Granger? She was here, was she not? I remember her reading to me, talking, asking questions. Why is she not here?" His usually calm demeanor becoming more unraveled as his questions progressed.
"Ah. Miss Granger left some time earlier today. She went for a walk this morning. I believe i saw Kingsley go after her, but I haven't seen her since. Here, Severus, please take this last potion, and you will be free to leave if you like." Madam Pomphrey watched as he quickly upended the contents of the vial and stood abruptly to leave the ward. He stood, somewhat shakily and after a moment of gathering his bearings, transfigured his hospital gown into a decent facsimile of his usual robes, and stalked out of the room, the transfigured threads billowing behind him.
He thought he had an idea where she may have gone. Severus had grown close to Hermione. Working together for the order had given them a start to some semblance of a relationship outside of their teacher/student affiliation. It had been a work in patience for them both. Neither were particularly pliant in general and both had habit of being considerably stubborn, mulish and bull headed. They both possessed a distinct trait of self-righteousness. And so it went, after one blow up after another, that they both began to tread more carefully when working closely together; each giving the other a chance to speak their opinions, each providing multiple view points to any given argument until they could come to a mutual conclusion that would benefit everyone the most.
They were quickly able to comfortably work together, completing their tasks promptly, and began conversing on any number of topics that they had in common. It always seemed to leave Snape floored that they shared so many common interests. Hermione's grasp of larger concepts outside of what was covered with her schoolwork always seemed to create a friendly debate between the two. They would sit in the library at 12 Grimmauld place for hours on end discussing the Wolfsbane potion, or the latest articles in Potions Weekly or Ars Alchemica which would trail on well into the night. Hermione would usually be the first to yawn, and never conceding her point, would say that they should 'agree to disagree' or that they would 'pick up the topic tomorrow' after they had both rested.
After months spent in this fashion, Severus would admit a grudging respect for the brilliant and shrewd mind the young Gryffindor possessed and found himself enjoying her company. He frequently found himself mentally flagging articles to bring up for discussion with her as he read them, or wondering if she would have any ideas in his latest research. When the end of her schooling neared, he had decided to offer her a Potions apprenticeship. It would be a first for him, he had never taken an apprentice, but then again he had never found someone he would consider worthy of the effort. He knew Hermione would take it seriously, he knew she would work hard, and he knew that she was destined for greatness in her life. He wanted to have a part in helping her to cultivate her greatness even further.
Soon, a mutual appreciation of intellect turned into light flirting. Side-long glances, quickened breathe, and light blushing could frequently be seen being exchanged between them. If anyone noticed, no one felt it worth the surety of being hexed enough to comment. At least not to Severus. He felt her getting closer, pushing past his emotional walls. She was everything he had dreamed of wanting in a partner. She was kindhearted, intelligent, fiercely loyal, and apparently uninterested in others' appearances. He would be loath to admit to anyone how much he wanted to be desired for who he really was, not some fantasy cooked up in an enamored student or simpering Death Eater groupie, but to be genuinely wanted just as he was, short tempered, homely, and dark. To be loved, warts and all.
He noticed her. The way her hair had softened with her age and grown smoother and more manageable. The way her lips were full and looked petal soft, even though she would frequently abuse her lower lip with her teeth when thinking through a tough problem, argument or bout of nerves. The way she loved to touch people, a comforting hug, a hand on the arm in assurance, or the way she leaned against whoever stood next to her when she was lost in thought. The way she focused all her attention and passion on whatever she was involved in, be it arithmancy equation, heated debate or argument, or devoting herself to a conversation with someone. The way she nearly always stood up for the underdog. The way she was always herself.
That was something Severus envied her. That she was free to just be herself. Certainly herself under harsh circumstances, but her own self, her own character none the less. She never played at being something or someone she wasn't. He had spent hours pondering the enigma that was Hermione Granger and finally came to a startling realization. He loved her. He loved verbally sparring with her, no matter the topic. He loved watching her interact with people. He loved the way she seemed to calm him, regardless of his circumstance. He wanted her for his own, and come Hades or high water, he was determined to have her.
After much deliberation, his plan was set. He would start to lay the groundwork of courting her, as old fashioned as it was, once the war was over and things had calmed. If he still had blood in his veins and a beating heart in his chest when all was said and done, he would chase his desire.
Well, he had certainly done something, but it was most assuredly not what he had planned. It was better. To kiss her, feel how soft her lips truly were, how her body fitted perfectly with his own, how her desire seemed to match his, had been far greater a feeling and reaction than he would have expected and had come about far more instantaneously than his original plan would have suggested. To wake up and find her gone was nearly more than he could bare.
After hours of searching and finding her nowhere, he forced himself to give up. She was nowhere on the grounds. She hadn't spoken to anyone other than Kingsley apparently. She wasn't at her home. She was a ghost, disappearing into the ether and slipping like a mist through his fingers. She obviously didn't want to be found. He must have scared her off. Obviously she had realized how much she was giving up to be with a man like him. She had moved on to younger, more attractive greener pastures, as it were.
He spent the next fortnight throwing himself a pity party with several bottles of Ogden's Finest in his private chambers before anyone had noticed that he was gone.
This is ridiculous. I am a grown wizard and I will not simply curl up and whinge over a silly girl nearly 20 years younger than me. I will get up, dress, ingest something other than grain alcohol, and move on with my life. There is research to be done, a school to repair, future dunderheads to prepare for. More important things than mooning over a witch that doesn't want me.
**************
It had been around the 2 month mark that someone finally spoke up about her disappearing act. Severus had thought it more than a bit odd that Hermione had gone and not left word with anyone, even her closest friends and surrogate family, as to her whereabouts. No one had seen her, no one had heard from her, no one had any idea what had happened to her. They all figured she wanted some time and space to work through things on her own, as she so often would have before. When Potter and the two youngest Weasley's said that she obviously hadn't been to her flat in all that time and that she was no where to be found, his hackles were raised. When they said the Aurors couldn't find her, his hair stood on end and his stomach tightened.
Here he had been, morosely living in his own self pity, not even thinking that there was a reason he hadn't been able to find her. The first two years, he searched. He had visited every wizarding community in Europe, Asia and Africa. He had shown photographs to strangers, he had reached out to old contacts, all to no avail. The panic had passed for most. They had begun to morn the likely loss of a treasured friend and brilliant mind. They had given up, where Severus refused to. She had to be out there. He needed her to be out there somewhere, even if it wasn't to be with him. He would not stop looking. Somehow, after nearly two years, the Headmistress and the Weasley matriarch had received anonymous letters stating, in the barest of information, that Hermione was alive and well, but could not be reached and that any attempts would prove to be futile, but if they had a desire to write back, they could do so on the reverse of the same parchment and it would be forwarded. After the first letters, more appeared, staggered every couple months or so with small updates, if there were any, or at least to say that there was no change. Who had written them, no one knew. They had clearly been dictated and not hand written. There was no signature. No address. No owl. There were no noticeable charms other than very heavy concealment charms in place. Around June of the second year, Severus got his break.
It all seemed so obvious to him then. How had he never considered Kinglsey. Of course he wouldn't have had any malicious intent, but he had been seen with her before she had left. The last person to be seen with her before she had disappeared. And now, he was the single most politically powerful wizard in the world. How easy would it have been to make a witch disappear? Especially one as willing as Hermione to aid the cause. It had happened as if meant by fate. Severus had been near the Ministry near tea time and thought to stop by and see if perhaps, Kingsley would join him for lunch. He arrived just in time to see the letter apparate away. It had borne no distinguishing remarks, no seal, no hand writing. His dicto-quill still hung benignly over the blank parchment on his cluttered desk.
"Shite" Kingsley muttered under his breath.
"It's you! You've been sending the letters! How do you know she's ok? How can you possibly know What has happened to Hermione? I have spent the past 2 years searching for her with every spare moment, Shacklebot. You best answer me now." He ended on a feral growl. He knew he'd been beaten. Severus was unlikely to give up. Although he knew exactly what had transpired between the two from the letter Hermione had written that he had never delivered, he had never thought Severus would be so attached to the girl. Of course he'd been aware of all the work Severus was doing to find her, but he was a secret keeper, and he would not reveal those secrets, even if it was for a good and noble cause. Kingsley released a deep sigh averting his eyes from the trained legilimens.
"Severus, you know I can't tell you anything." God, this was sure to be painful, the Minister thought. Snape had spent a solid hour and a half trying to convince him any way he could, threats of bodily harm, coercion, threats of veritaserum, hell, he'd nearly used the imperious, all to no avail.
It was some months later that Severus was handed his own update letter, in person, by the tightly locked secret keeper. He looked up into the man's eyes, not in the least comforted by what he saw there.
"What's happened, Kingsley. Why are you here and why are you giving me this?" He whispered. He was suddenly very grateful to be spending his free time alone in his empty chambers. It wouldn't do to have any curious onlookers for what was sure to be bad news.
"Read it, Severus." The man avoided his gaze once more and went over to the liquor cabinet pouring a healthy measure of Firewhiskey and turning to look at the dour man. Snape's eyes roved over the words on the page.

Hermione Granger has been attacked. There was no magic involvement. The perpetrator was a muggle male who was wanted in connection to a string of rape and assault charges in the area. He was soon captured by Aurors and turned over to muggle authorities. The man in question has been sent to prison and will be locked up for a minimum of 13 years; sentencing has not yet taken place. Miss Granger was harmed but has been physically healed.

"THAT'S IT?! HOW CAN YOU STAND THERE AND NOT HAVE A WORD TO SAY? HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY KEEP IT AS SIMPLE AS 'SHE HAS BEEN PHYSICALLY HEALED' YOU POOR EXCUSE FOR A WIZARD!" Severus could feel his heart nearly beating out of his chest. The veins in his forehead and neck were very noticeably throbbing in his rage. Kingsley carefully put the large glass of whiskey in his hand and charmed the glass to refill once empty. He had a feeling Severus would be needing it. Snape slammed back three large tumblers before he could calm himself enough to collapse into his chair, his face in his now empty hands.
It had taken Potions Master nearly 3 more years to break the secret keeper. And it had been rather bizarre how it finally happened.
********
"Why, Severus? Why do you want to know where she is?" Kingsley asked.
"It doesn't matter"
"On the contrary. It matters a great deal. What is it that has possessed you to search so hard for her? Why have you worked so hard to convince me to tell you where she is, yet you can't even be honest enough as to tell me why? How important can it really be to you if you refuse to explain yourself?" Kingsley knew exactly why, but if the man couldn't say it out loud, it would make no difference. He knew Hermione was done. It was well passed time to come home. The missions had long since dried up for her. There was a loud silence in the room that stretched between the two determined men.
"Because, I..." Snape looked at the floor and swallowed hard. Damn Gryffindor women and the things he would do for them. Slytherin tactics had gotten him nowhere fast. It was time for some honesty and for that, he would need all the Gryffindor courage he could get. "Because. I love her."
*********
She had been kept sequestered in obscurity, only receiving the sparse, watered-down letters Kingsley could allow through. She hadn't been allowed to reach out, she couldn't have information that would make her return home. She had been too vital and important where she was to come back. She had been the sole person responsible for rounding up the remaining escaped Death Eaters. The highest ranking, most disturbed individuals the wizarding world had left, and she had single-handedly brought them all to justice. No back-up, no hesitation. She had accepted her mission and the terms that came with it... at least that she was made aware of.
Severus had learned of the letter the had gone undelivered some 5 years before. His heart had nearly stopped beating when he'd read it. It was simple and yet somehow, so complex in its meaning, much like the woman who had penned it all those years ago.

My Dearest Severus,

Please do not despair. I promise, I could never leave you without a word. I doubt if I could ever leave you at all. Although our time together has been spent without even addressing our feelings for one another, and I'm sure this is certain to terrify you, I need to speak my mind, as you well know. I have never been so evenly matched intellectually, as I am with you. I have never met a man as likely to incite intense anger and frustration, as he is to inspire fierce passion and all-consuming desire. When I was in your arms, I felt more right and complete than I ever have in my short life.
I have a mission to complete, just as we all must do, to see justice in our world. I must do my part, as you must do yours. I should be gone no more than 3 months, my secret keeper tells me. Take that time to heal. Take that time to relax and truly realize that you are free; free to be whomever you want to be in this life, for it now belongs to you and you alone. I will return, and when I do, I hope I shall return to my rightful place in your embrace. Severus, no matter what happens, please, promise me that you will never forget me and the tiny shred of joy I hope I brought you. Just one last thing before I must leave... Severus...

I Love You,
Hermione

He knew where she was. He knew what she had done, at least in part. But he also knew WHO she was, and it seemed as though she no longer did. Let it be known that Severus would never be the white knight that protected the damsel in distress.He wasn't quite that delusional. However, if Hermione still wanted him, after all this time, who was he to say no? It was time to go and rescue his princess and return her to the kingdom she belonged in. His.

A/N
Ok so longer chapter today... I thought it was important to show things from Sexy Sev's point of view. It's so sad to see people who don't know their worth, don't ya think? Lemons are a little ways off yet, but we'll get there. Next chapter will reunite the two and hopefully will answer some questions between them. And Naughty Kingsley, keeping Hermione in the dark like that! Shame on you. I mean sure I get it, but still. Poor lonely Hermione. Please review guys. I certainly hope this chapters shows off a better writing style (I swear I'm a decent writer when I have the time and focus to fully devote to it) Virtual chocolate is so very good for the soul...
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Nothing But a Kiss *COMPLETE*

Nothing But a Kiss COMPLETE