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Dark Night of the soul	By : Drarry-Lisa Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 2332 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any other characters/things/places created by J.K. Rowling. I make no money from my fan-fiction.

Chapter List
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Chapter-2
Her Shame
Harry
Sitting in front of my godmother and her husband who is also my professor to discuss about my relationship issues is awkward but the clumsy attempt to kiss Cho, Lavender and Ginny was more horrible and somehow I know that it was not due to my inexperience. It became even more serious when the most stunning girl among all houses, Parkinson attempted to kiss me and I hated it. It was not that I just hated it. The main thing was that I didn't want it.
"Am I gay?" I ask, my cheeks tinged red and sweat glistening on my forehead because that's what I have been wondering for the past couple of years. Aunt Siria stares at me, her jaw open in shock whereas Uncle Severus simply rubs his forehead in sheer exhaustion.
"Why exactly are you asking this from us? You turned seventeen this year and must know about your sexual inclinations." Uncle Severus asks me and although he seems uncomfortable to discuss this with me, he doesn't leave. He sits in front of me and waits expectantly.
"I tried to kiss some girls but I didn't like it." I start and my cheeks feel warm and I am so very embarrassed that I want to bolt out of this room.
"Harry, have you discussed this with Lily?" Aunt Siria asks me out of the blue and I look at her before nodding.
"Yes, I talked to dad and mom but they don't want to consider this as a serious problem. They simply want me to find a girl and make her my girlfriend and then marry her in a couple of years to pop mini Potters." I growl furiously because it's ridiculous. How can I marry someone I can't as much as kiss.
Aunt Siria doesn't look surprised. She shares a look with Uncle Severus and they have a silent conversation. I avert my eyes enviously. I am seventeen and need someone too. I just want to feel close to someone. Is that too much to ask for.
"Why do you think that you are gay?" Uncle Severus asks him, his eyes careful. He is a picture of grace and poise, dressed in black robes and trousers to go with a white shirt. His right ankle is on his left knee and his hands are folded together on his right calf.
"I don't like kissing girls." I whisper and stare at the floor.
"Do you like kissing boys then?" Aunt Siria asks. It's a question, not a statement and she seems curious.
"No."
"Harry you can discuss this with your parents if you want. I can talk to them for you if that will make you comfortable." Aunt Siria continues and Harry stares at her. His eyes flick towards Uncle Severus's unreadable face.
"You are as much my parents as they are. Also, it was too easy for them wasn't it? They knew that they were made for each other and both of you didn't. You fought with everyone and stood for your relationship. They are not paying attention to my problem. Ron has Hermione and even Dean has a girlfriend now and I- I just- it's lonely sometimes." I finish my speech and Uncle Severus sighs.
"Harry, do you remember complaining that you feel sad although there is no reason you should. It still happens doesn't it?" Uncle Severus continues.
"Severus, do you think this is wise. They might get an order preventing both of us from speaking to him. They will marry him off to some pureblood chit and that's completely unfair. The only thing that is stopping them is that we won't let it happen. Once Wizengamot asks you to stay away, you won't be able to interfere without ruining everything you have worked for. They will revoke your potions Mastership." Aunt Siria sounds frantic and frustrated. I sit straight and stare at them, perplexed.
"He is not a minor now and technically they can't keep us away from them and I - I will have to take this risk now. Lucius is still receiving those wretched photographs. It's been fifteen years and she is still suffering. We have searched everywhere, Merlin knows where he has taken her. I have tried everything I could. I can't find her. You saw those photographs didn't you." His eyes are moist and my heart is in my throat now. Uncle Severus never displays his weakness.
Aunt Siria swallows as she starts, "What are you trying to say?"
"They are still bound. We can use the bond to - to finish her off. The bond can be manipulated. I can do it."
The silence that follows is deafening. I don't understand what they are talking about. I don't know about any bond and who are they talking about but interrupting them will not be correct. I want to know exactly what is happening. Who are they going to finish off.
"That is barbaric. We can't just kill her Severus. What about Narcissa and Lucius. Don't they have a right to decide. She is their daughter." Aunt Siria whispers after sniffing a bit. She blinks her eyes to keep her tears at bay and succeeds although barely.
"Yes, I spoke to them. They have reached their breaking point now. She is not living. He has turned her into - into-"
"Please stop. All right. Then we must be quick. The latest photographs he sent- the sooner the better. We must end her misery." Aunt Siria says and I feel that I must interrupt now.
"What the fuck is going on? Will you tell me?" I hiss at them.
"It's better that we have this discussion in front of your parents and the elder Malfoys. Dumbledore should be present too. I will firecall Lupin to come as well though I doubt that he will grace us with his presence. He had left this country just before that meeting fifteen years ago and hasn't returned since." Uncle Severus says and I nod, not understanding what he is saying.
"Also, Lily will try to keep us away from you after today. She might get a legal order-"
"I am not a child. I am not a minor and they can't impose their decisions on me." I snap at them, beyond worried now. "And you are not murdering anyone."
"We will have to kill her. There is no other option. We can not let this continue." Uncle Severus says. He is literally leant towards me. His eyes are boring in mine and they are steeled. He has already decided.
"I don't care what your bastard of parents think. I am not letting my goddaughter suffer anymore." He continues, "For once Lucius and Narcissa have agreed. You will not stop me from relieving god daughter from her misery."
I breath deeply and try to reign my fury but then something happens. Shame settles in the pit of stomach and it's almost impossible to contain. I have often felt sad and miserable for unknown reasons but it has never been so strong. I look out of the window. Sun is setting and it's already six PM.
I swallow several times and try hard to get over this- whatever this is. I don't understand why my throat feels heavy and why my eyes are prickling.
"Harry, what's the matter?" Aunt Siria says. Somehow, five minutes have passed and she is bent over me, her eyes concerned.
"What are you feeling?" Uncle Severus asks and I answer him honestly, "Ashamed. Bloody hell, why do I feel so ashamed. I have only failed in giving a few kisses. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Why do I-" My shoulders shake with a sob and sadness overcomes my body.
I look at them with wet eyes and whisper in a low and dangerous voice, "It's never been so strong. What the hell is this? Will you tell me?"
He ignores me and stares at Aunt Siria whose eyes are closed now. Her forehead is creased and she has never seemed so tired.
"I want to - I want to-" I lose the train of my thought when a lump settles in my throat and unshed tears burn my eyes.
"Something is happening again. We must relieve her if we can't save her." Uncle Severus concludes and as suddenly as it had come, it's gone.
"I don't understand. It's gone now. I feel numb. How is this possible?" I ask and Aunt Siria slumps beside Uncle Severus. It's clear that they are not going to say anything.
"TELL ME." I yell and stand up. They jump in surprise before looking at me, "I have always told you about - about these strange episodes and you have never indicated that you know about their cause."
"Lily and James are to to be blamed for that. Don't shout at us." He hissed, "They are selfish bastards. We have literally begged them to do something. Even Lucius went as far as kneeling and begging Lily with folded hands. She got him thrown out of your manor."
I stare at him.
"You want to know, don't you? Well that's good because I am going to tell you today exactly what your parents agreed to do when you were only two."
"Severus, he is not at fault. Shouting at him won't lead us anywhere."
"You just saw what happened. I don't want him to lead me anywhere now. I just want to finish her misery. We are never going to find her."
"All right, we will go to Dumbledore then. It will be the best place, seeing that it had started over there." Aunt Siria murmurs and stands up, "Get up Severus. Let's go."
Uncle Severus nods and stands beside his aunt. Together, they floo over to the headmaster's office.
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Dark Night of the soul